tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59734642012-02-04T11:51:38.371-08:00It is wuddit isOy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.comBlogger154125This is an XML content feed. It is intended to be viewed in a newsreader or syndicated to another site, subject to copyright and fair use.tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-74284056239354903322012-02-02T09:05:00.000-08:002012-02-04T11:51:38.385-08:002012-02-04T11:51:38.385-08:00

I've had my wee house for about 10 years now (holy moly, that blows me away), and have slowly been improving things bit by bit. It's been slow, because I don't have a ton of disposable income. So I do a little bit here and there, as I can. But it's all adding up, which is great. And I love that I've been here long enough to see some of the fruits of my labor, literally and figuratively. When I

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2012/02/my-evolving-garden.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-61936925944738820372012-01-28T14:47:00.000-08:002012-01-30T12:23:02.956-08:002012-01-30T12:23:02.956-08:00

I love where I live, and I love that I can grow so many things here. It truly is paradise on earth, as far as I'm concerned. Went to the scion exchange - this is the second year I've attended. I'm so excited to get stuff in the ground and to do some grafting. I now have quite a smorgasbord of fruit that will be coming in, and I'll even have almonds as well. Still researching other nuts that

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2012/01/more-fruits-and-nuts.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-51235358606088801952012-01-25T13:37:00.000-08:002012-01-25T13:54:46.233-08:002012-01-25T13:54:46.233-08:00

Listened to the state of the union... sheesh, what an eyeroll fest. Why must there always be so much idiotic rhetoric about god and guns? It's so sad and disappointing that we still have such collective stupidity, and that we're supposed to go along with this sentiment because we "support the troops" or whatever. No. I do not support the troops. I do not support war. I do not support people who

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2012/01/state.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-82479266286961568932012-01-23T14:22:00.000-08:002012-01-24T11:36:36.619-08:002012-01-24T11:36:36.619-08:00

At the new years ritual gathering, one of the roles that I brought up to get feedback on was "scapegoat". I don't like that word but I do think that is an accurate one to describe my role in all of this harassment stuff that's gone on with Doug for the past 4 or 5 years or so. But the feedback was unanimous in not liking that word, and so we picked "rock" instead. I hadn't gone into all the

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2012/01/between-rock-and-rock.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-8524011266811464202012-01-21T18:35:00.000-08:002012-01-22T10:46:13.191-08:002012-01-22T10:46:13.191-08:00

I attended a wonderful New Year workshop and ritual gathering thingie today. This was led by my friend and former Syracuse classmate David Delp. He's been putting together workshops and has created an entire suite of tools that help people to get focused on what means the most to them, to achieve the goals they really want to achieve, and so on. He used to call it "designing a balanced life" but

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-year-ritual.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-45665564125614461912012-01-18T16:04:00.000-08:002012-01-22T10:32:56.771-08:002012-01-22T10:32:56.771-08:00

It's the title of a book that I read eons ago, and it's a phrase that has become a part of our psychobabble. It's meaning still boils down to a very simple truth. And that truth is at the root of the stuff I've been dealing with in my family. I'm focusing on the present and on the future. Knowing, inside and out, that I am ok. That this is true. And that I have more inside than what gets tapped

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com2http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2012/01/im-ok-youre-ok.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-71718043414677020442011-12-31T13:52:00.000-08:002012-01-15T16:24:29.412-08:002012-01-15T16:24:29.412-08:00

Happy New Year ~ and another reason for some reflection. Of course we can do this at any time, but New Year's kind of jiggers us to do it now. I really love the Jewish tradition of reflection and atonement, and I like to apply that even though I'm not Jewish. I will be doing a ritual thing later in January, which I'm looking forward to. Ok, here goes though. Family stuff has been difficult this

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/12/reflecting.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-4799868090973151712011-12-28T13:20:00.000-08:002012-01-04T14:51:01.624-08:002012-01-04T14:51:01.624-08:00

Ok. Enough. I have to break out of this. I have one life and it's already about half over. I can't waste my time with this crap anymore. I'm really liking this, and it is time to take it's heed: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/08/30/12-things-happy-people-do-differently/ Express gratitude. – When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value.  Kinda cool right?  So

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/12/on-positive-note.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-4751742082658263862011-12-28T05:57:00.000-08:002011-12-29T14:05:18.994-08:002011-12-29T14:05:18.994-08:00

The sad truth is that they don't really give a damn about me. That was obvious when Dad hung up on me, rather than give me Doug's cell phone number. That's been obvious since forever, when they continually choose to get behind those horrible monsters, at the expense of everything else. That has been the case since childhood, shown by all of the screaming, blaming, obliviousness, and utter f*

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/12/sad-truth.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-75835313411743568782011-12-26T21:16:00.000-08:002011-12-28T11:54:33.949-08:002011-12-28T11:54:33.949-08:00

I am shaking, I'm so angry. He is worse than a piece of sh*t as far as I'm concerned. On Christmas night, Doug calls, sort of haltingly nice, but I knew the other shoe would drop momentarily. After faking a bit of niceness, he launches into his insane crap. I can't even remember what it was this time, I was so angry that he called and ruined my Christmas evening. I hung up on him. He called back

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/12/piece-of-sht.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-11621817031634743422011-12-13T12:21:00.000-08:002011-12-28T11:54:44.735-08:002011-12-28T11:54:44.735-08:00

Once upon a time the holiday season was a very happy thing. Now it is something that I endure, hoping it will pass quickly and without incident. I need to create my own family. That was the reason why the holidays were happy for me. Even though I was married to the wrong guy, at least we had our own holidays. We had each other and we created a festive experience for ourselves and for each other.

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com2http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/12/holidays.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-91643025974209943842011-12-12T21:40:00.000-08:002011-12-28T11:54:58.619-08:002011-12-28T11:54:58.619-08:00

But it's good though. Is there hope for me? Does it matter? Somehow, I did find out how to be happy alone. And I so treasure and cherish it. It really is so true that I am just basking in not having to answer to anyone. I don't have a guy telling me what's what, judging my attractiveness constantly, judging my wifey skills, or just analyzing my general being against their female measuring stick.

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/12/good-though.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-67230234993559741052011-12-08T03:30:00.001-08:002011-12-10T12:57:05.695-08:002011-12-10T12:57:05.695-08:00

Time is a-wastin' while it goes by and seemingly so quickly now. Yes, I've learned how to be happy alone, and that's all well and good. But it sure would be nice to have a really good man along for the ride. I mean a really good one. Is there still one out there for me? Is it possible to have a real love affair at this late stage? Have I been hiding and out of the game for just too damn long?

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/12/someday.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-76342849664360807832011-10-30T15:47:00.000-07:002011-10-31T14:27:36.365-07:002011-10-31T14:27:36.365-07:00

Someone I knew way back when has passed away just this past week. She left this world last Tuesday. There was a big gathering yesterday, back east, of all of the many family and friends that her life had touched. I wish I could have been there, but it just wasn't possible for me to make the trip. It was very sudden, and it still hasn't really sunk in. She had been battling cancer for more than a

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/10/loss.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-35910221481779473082011-10-30T15:31:00.001-07:002011-10-30T21:57:54.200-07:002011-10-30T21:57:54.200-07:00

It has finally stopped. Haven't heard a peep from Doug in over a week or so. What a huge relief. I sent a letter to my family and I don't know if anything was said to Doug or not, but it seems to finally have stopped. At least for now. Of course it's completely possible that it will just start up again at any time. But for now, I'm going to pretend that it is done. Enough. Thank you. I hope

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/10/peace.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-30120451039670341382011-10-15T14:26:00.000-07:002011-10-15T22:28:30.176-07:002011-10-15T22:28:30.176-07:00

Dear Paul, Thank you so much for the beautiful letter you sent me a while back. I hope it's ok with you that I am publishing it here in my blog. I honestly don't think my blog gets read by very many people, so I think that will help to make this ok. But your letter, and your friendship and support, gives me strength. And I need that now, again. Thank you again, from my entire heart. - - - - -

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/10/thank-you-paul.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-35590862181800613302011-10-15T13:57:00.000-07:002011-10-15T14:04:05.660-07:002011-10-15T14:04:05.660-07:00

For the past few weeks, Doug has been calling my phone and hanging up a few times a day. Sometimes he does this at odd hours, like 3 am or 6 am, I'm sure because he's hoping I won't pick up then so he can leave one of his horrible long messages on my voicemail. I've asked, and then told him, many times, not to do this anymore. But that doesn't matter. So after a few weeks of these hang up calls,

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/10/worse-than-i-thought.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-49460228319819895432011-10-11T08:45:00.000-07:002011-10-11T09:39:57.087-07:002011-10-11T09:39:57.087-07:00

Uni the cat died early this morning. I cried like a baby. It was so sudden. That little cat has been with me for so long. She had a great long life and lately she had been looking wonderful - her coat came back to it's luster and thickness, and she had put on weight. I was so amazed and happy, because before her comeback she had gotten way too skinny and her coat was looking pretty shabby. But

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/10/uni-cat.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-82658507548155441802011-10-09T21:03:00.000-07:002011-10-10T20:23:53.780-07:002011-10-10T20:23:53.780-07:00

So lately Doug has resorted to calling and hanging up. He does this a few times a day now. He's also tried calling at strange hours as well, I'm sure because he's hoping I won't pick up, so that he can leave another of his horribly long and hideous word vomit voicemails for me. At least this is not as upsetting as all the other stuff has been. He hangs up as soon as I say hello. At least I don't

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com2http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/10/committment.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-88000537733496278092011-09-23T11:16:00.000-07:002011-10-10T20:24:17.554-07:002011-10-10T20:24:17.554-07:00

Age has finally infiltrated my reality. I think I've been afforded a longer period of obliviousness than many have, for whatever reason - genes, mostly. Still no gray hair, skin is only showing slight wrinklage here and there. I feel good, I feel healthy. I'm overweight, but working on that. Quitting smoking has been wonderful - I can do so much more now and I don't get out of breath. I've been

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/09/birthday.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-50556831865866148622011-09-20T17:14:00.000-07:002011-10-10T20:24:27.022-07:002011-10-10T20:24:27.022-07:00

I spoke too soon. Sigh. Why does this seem to happen to me so often? New prospects - excitement - reality sets in - disappointment. New job will happen, supposedly, but not immediately. Sounds like it's something that will grow gradually. Well, let's hope. Starting out with a few classes that I'll be teaching. Also will be training interns and then managing them as they teach classes.  I was also

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/09/scratch-that-reverse-it.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-39627582921299285622011-09-08T15:59:00.000-07:002011-09-08T16:27:48.026-07:002011-09-08T16:27:48.026-07:00

Joy oh joy! New job! Yay and whew! Things have been pretty close to the bone for quite some time, so this is a huge relief. It's local, it will be somewhat flexible, it will be engaging and challenging, and it's right up my alley in so many good ways. I thank the universe! This couldn't have come at a better time. Whew! Now I can also continue to get rid of my last bit of debt, and I can even

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/09/new-job-yay.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-35670775899334280932011-08-30T23:16:00.000-07:002011-09-08T21:32:18.544-07:002011-09-08T21:32:18.544-07:00

As long as I maintain the necessary boundaries, I am happy. Doug called the other day and left a horrible message, and I only listened to a tiny bit of it before he launched into admonishing me in his usual horrible way. Delete. And he called again this evening at midnight, and again I could only listen to the first tiny bit before I had to stop and delete. It was him yelling at me again, this

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/08/happy.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-47114678261668500972011-06-11T00:38:00.000-07:002011-08-31T22:18:46.870-07:002011-08-31T22:18:46.870-07:00

So, my brother has started up his stuff again. He insists that I should let him leave his long horrible messages on my voicemail, where he can have his nasty one sided ego fxcked conversation with himself - as if I want to listen to him go on and on about what's wrong with me. So I've asked him not to leave his long messages on my voicemail anymore, and this pissed him off. So he does it anyway.

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com2http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/06/when-will-it-end.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5973464.post-51324354140718525392011-05-24T10:19:00.000-07:002011-06-11T12:50:33.764-07:002011-06-11T12:50:33.764-07:00

Joined a gym and worked out yesterday for the first time in a very long time, and today I feel like jelly. I have a lot of work to do. Somehow I've allowed my weight to creep up slowly over the years to a point where now I am just really not liking how I look at all. I'm not supposed to be this big. I don't feel attractive at all. Clothes used to be fun and now they're not. And I just want to be

Oy Veyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12696791357205730423noreply@blogger.com0http://cathygeorge.blogspot.com/2011/05/its-about-time.html