underneath

where it ends...

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:20:00 +0000

...somewhere, something better, begins.

A little more time and I am so..

OUT OF HERE.

So long, Blogger.

- from a 4-years-almost Blogger® blogger.

If It Kills Me

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:20:00 +0000

Hello, tell me you know.

Yeah, you figured me out. Something gave it away and it would be such a beautiful moment to see the look on your face - to know that I know that you know now.

And that's a case of my wishful thinking.

You know nothing 'cause you and I, why, we go carrying on for hours, on and we get along much better than you and your boyfriend.

Well how long, can I go on like this, wishing to kiss you, before I rightly explode. This double life I lead isn't healthy for me, in fact it makes me nervous - if I get caught I could be risking it all.

But there's a lot that I'll miss in case I'm wrong.

Well all I really wanna do is love you, a kind much closer than friends use. But I still can't say it after all we've been through. And all I really want from you is to feel me as the feeling inside keeps building. And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me.

If I should be so bold, I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand, tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man. But I never said a word.. I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again..

Well all I really wanna do is love you, a kind much closer than friends use. But I still can't say it after all we've been through. And all I really want from you is to feel me as the feeling inside keeps building. And I will find a way to you if it kills me, if it kills me.

It might kill me.

Jason Mraz, If It Kills Me

Love the Eyes

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 19:16:00 +0000

We just finished our Ophthalmology Module and guess what, I loved it! I think I’ll have to reconsider my specialization options.

More than a year in medical school haven’t convinced me [yet] if Cardiology (specifically, cardiothoracic surgery) is what I really want. We had a general module on “Thorax” last year (which included discussions about the heart and blood vessels) but I didn’t find it interesting. That was when I began having doubts about my dream of becoming a cardio surgeon.

Well, we’ll see when I get to take the Cardiology Module next semester. For the mean time, it’s Ophtha that is making me excited.

By the way, Sentro Oftalmologico Jose Rizal is an awesome place.

<3 ian

p(SM)

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:47:00 +0000

I’m losing focus. There are scribbles in old notes and transes that I find disturbing. (Or am I just thinking too much?)

Unlike the ones made by the Half-blood Prince, these are not helping.

It’s haunting me. Why does it always have to be YOU? Damn it. Now I miss you.

Only Human

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:56:00 +0000

I am sorry for everyone who I disappointed in one way or another, yesterday. I really do.

I’m not a Superhuman like what my baseball cap says.

“Disappointing others – that’s what humans are only good at.” – Remind me who said this. I can’t remember.

Oplan

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Mon, 25 May 2009 14:00:00 +0000

Oplan. noun. A term coined from the Filipino word plano (or “plan” in English). Funny, because I always knew the meaning of this word ever since I was in grade school, not because it was obvious, but because it has been always associated in events such as oplan kapit-bisig, oplan tuli, oplan linis-kapaligiran, etc. Maybe when someone asked me that time why it was called oplan, I wouldn’t know exactly what to say.

Amazing how one unknown word becomes so familiar just because it’s been associated with something else so many times.

My Hands Are Tired

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Mon, 25 May 2009 06:33:00 +0000

I have been working so hard for the last couple of weeks for an ambitious goal. It’s not for anyone. Just me and my insane idea of putting up a fun (but credible) keepsake for my first year in med school.

I can’t talk about it, but the idea was easy. At first. And now that I have started it, I feel like giving up already. Every time I continue to work on it, a lot of alternative ways/ideas just begin to pop in my head telling me to stop the crap because there are a lot of other [easier] ways on how to do it. But then I keep telling myself not to because I have started and I have done so much already. Patience. But I’m tired. My hands are tired.

Then I stop typing. I look away from the monitor and space out. Thinking. When I become a doctor, is this the way how I’m going to decide for myself? That I’m tired already? How will I be able to last in an institution where people just keeps moving, stays alert all the time, awake for days? What I am trying to achieve is out of the ordinary. I can’t finish all these before the classes start. But on my way to reaching this goal, I feel like this is just like med school. A tiny version of it. I set an ambitious goal and then try to do everything to achieve it.

Maybe this is how I am going to be as a doctor. Ambitious. Full of new ideas. Ideas that are out of the box.

My motivation then, is the idea that I am responsible for this. For everything I’m doing. I wanted this. And I started it. There is no giving up. No turning back.

A Very High Ponytail

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Fri, 15 May 2009 11:16:00 +0000

I am almost in the middle of Grey’s Anatomy (Season 5) when this episode about Dr. Sheperd’s mom dropping by the hospital left me LOL-ing.

Meredith anxiously prepared for her boyfriend’s mom and apparently (with Izzie’s suggestion) she decided to prep up her hair with a very high pony(tail). I’m sorry if I have to blog this, but Mer really looked ridiculous! I was laughing since then every time she appears. It was a great laugh. Great, great, great laugh. In the end, Dr. Yang told her how ridiculous it was and eventually she removed it. End of story. The story of the great high ponytail.

Cyber Legend

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Fri, 15 May 2009 05:25:00 +0000

~~“FREE ERICSSON LAPTOP! Just forward this message to 8 of your friends!”~~

A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from a friend about a free laptop being given away by Ericsson [yup, the same name that goes with the Sony-Ericsson (SE) brand] if and only if you get to disperse the news to at least eight people. According to the email, the action was part of the company getting more exposure to the consumers.

I opened the email and I even saw SE’s company logo.

But hey, being quite a techie person that I am, I immediately googled Ericsson T18 Laptop to find out what it can offer ‘cause seriously, I haven’t really heard anything about it. Then whala! Internet search gives me this:

Hoax: Ericsson Free Laptop Promotion - Urban Legends

For one moment I told myself, wow, an Ericsson laptop? That’d be cool. An then I snap back to reality with the feeling that I wasted 10 minutes of my time.

As what most internet freaks say, do not believe anything you see or read on the internet as if it was the Bible or anything close. We have all the information we need with just one click. Let’s just use these wisely, okay?

Walls Up!

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Thu, 14 May 2009 09:49:00 +0000

Only a few minutes left before the American Idol Top 3 Results Show airs in local TV, I decided to log in for a while to download last night’s songs. I really liked Kris Allen’s performances. While surfing, I also figured that it is possible that news about who made it to the finale might already be published online! So right now, I am very, very careful not to click on anything, or read further AI articles, open social networking sites (someone might actually announce it via his/her status, which I REALLY HATE) or even google anything. No spoilers please!

Okay. I am taking too much time in here. Time to turn on the TV.

Post-Immersion Work

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Mon, 11 May 2009 23:58:00 +0000

During the immersion a few weeks back, Winnie and I promised the BHWs that we'll be giving them brochures about the stuff we lectured to them. But until now it's not yet ready. *grin* (It slipped out of my mind already.) Good thing I received an SMS from her yesterday reminding me to finish it before next week. It seems our field preceptor won't hand over his feedback/evaluation report until we finish the brochures. I planned of finishing it last night. However I was already feeling tired & lazy when I got back last night from seeing a movie and helping out with the Pagsama project.

So that's what I'm going to do today! At this moment! Then when I'm done it will be just in time for a breakfast and then head to the supermarket to buy some stuff.

A happy and focused morning it is. ;)

Logical

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Mon, 11 May 2009 12:14:00 +0000

Today I found myself engaged in a more productive work when I met some of my Pagsama co-members at Miggy’s place to prepare something for the freshies. :) (Hint: Attend the dental and physical exams on Thursday!) We finished quite early. Danni took off immediately as we made our way to Midtown. Ivan previously planned of watching Star Trek and seeing that I’ve got nothing much to do after, I decided to join him.

“You know anything about Star Trek? None. Me neither. Hahah”, as we made our way inside the movie house. This is going to be interesting.

Though I was totally clueless about the film, I liked it. I think the movie is awesome and it’s worth the money. I’ll rate it 8.5 (out of ten).

A Better Day

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Sun, 10 May 2009 11:45:00 +0000

Yay! I finally finished watching the entire season of Australia’s Make Me a Supermodel. In my opinion, it turns out to be better than the US version (from where it’s adapted). It has more drama, more controversies, more bitchy contestants, more love affairs. Definitely hotter and more gorgeous models, too. An Aussie is really a catch. ;) The winner was Rhys Uhlich, a surfer and teacher from Melbourne.

Also, today I finished raiding the kitchen counter/drawers which was full of plastic bags! They’re all sorted out and I hope my roommates will like what I just did when they get back.

Lastly, I am also done watching the second season of Pokémon (Orange Island Adventure)! I’m happy that Brock’s back with the team.

Not Yet

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Sat, 09 May 2009 16:03:00 +0000

Everyone has a happy ending. If you've reached the end and you are not happy, then it's not the end.

My Steth Can't Breathe

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Sat, 09 May 2009 14:17:00 +0000

The other day, a close friend of mine, Lala, was asking about steths and sphygmos because she's planning to buy one. She's asking what to buy best and how much it costs. I use Littman II Classic/Standard with a hunter-green tubing. My BP apparatus is ALPK2 (aneroid).

While creating my reply, I suddenly remembered that my med things were still on my unpacked bag I used for my immersion. I got anxious.

The next thing I knew, the diaphragm lid/cover of my stethoscope is missing. I hope I can find an available spare lid in Bambang so that I won't be spending a hefty amount of money for a new steth.

Less Talk

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Sat, 09 May 2009 07:04:00 +0000

It's 3 in the afternoon already! And I haven't even started unpacking. Oh no. Why do I feel super bored when actually there are a lot of things undone? I hate this feeling. Instead, I invaded John's kitchen for my all-in-one breakfast/lunch meal. Ate lunch while watching Jennifer Hawkins announces who among Kassandra, Luke, and Isaac gets eliminated. Then I got a short but sensible chat with my good 'old friend Wright. I missed him! I should start working. It's a long afternoon waiting for me, I know. I'll just focus on the idea that when I finish this work, I will be able to continue my Make Me a Supermodel (Australia) marathon! Woohoo.

Kassandra was eliminated.

I Need to Focus

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Fri, 08 May 2009 23:39:00 +0000

What a day yesterday. Very busy. I just moved in to a new place here in Manila thus the need to pack every bit of stuff I had. Now that I'm finally here, I have to unpack things again. The worst part, I don't know how to arrange all my stuff! I think I need to buy a closet and a couple of storage boxes.

I have so much to blog about lately, but I guess I lose focus every time. It's like I have so much to say, but too lazy to write them all (a list will do, perhaps? Haha). Maybe tomorrow, since it's Sunday and I'm supposed to just relax and try not to do so much work. J

BTW, this post was created using Microsoft Office Word 2007's blogging feature.

Sims Cubed

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Tue, 05 May 2009 00:18:00 +0000

It’s been almost five years since EA Games and Maxis released the sequel to the world-wide hit game, The Sims. This year however, the biggest and best Sims game [yet] is about to come out! Sims 3 will be available this June.

The Doors are Open! A seamless game play. Before, the Sims are only playable (confined) inside their own lot, and their neighbors just walk by. This time, they are now able to navigate around the neighborhood!

Better Graphics. Of course! Increased system requirements, though. :( See here.

Improved Body Shop. This is where you create your character. Now it is made even more interesting by adding tons of options to modify your Sim and make it look like someone you know!

For more of this game, visit www.thesims3.com.

Photo Meme

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Mon, 04 May 2009 22:45:00 +0000

Bored? Here’s an internet meme you can try while you’re figuring out what to do next.

DIRECTIONS:

- Go to Google image search.
- Type in your answer to each question.
- Choose a picture from the first page. Either save the image (and upload later) or take note of their web/URL links.
- Use this website (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php) to make your collage.

QUESTIONS:

1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

Got this from JohnnyDurham.

One Year of Scrobbling

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Sun, 03 May 2009 23:38:00 +0000

Technically, yeah, it’s been a year since I signed up at last.fm.

The first time I heard about it was because of Sithli. We were still classmates in college that time, I think. He suggested I try it out but I did not listen. It was only a few months after (when I was totally bum at home, trying to get a good grip at the fact that Bio days are totally over) that I decided to try it out. Well, I tried it. But it didn’t last that long. I was just able to scrobble a few. Around 20 tracks I think.

But then late 2008 and I got my first iPod (for Christmas! from by dear bro). And then I discovered that a few of my classmates have also been scrobbling for months and they told me to try it, too. So there I was.

Scrobble. Scrobble. Scrobble.

In reality, I have only scrobbled for months. Maybe three or four. That’s why a year’s worth didn’t even reach 10,000 scrobbled tracks. But hey, 5,600+ isn’t bad.

Cheers to more scrobbles in the future! Woot. Last.fm. Awesome.

Feet Wet

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:35:00 +0000

RSO Summer Immersion, Day 1

I was supposed to meet Winnie and Jayson at Calasiao Town Proper (we call it “putohan”) around 7:45 am. Was supposed to. I was late. The numerous road constructions in Urdaneta City got me wasting an hour of my time. Once I arrived at the barangay health center all the BHWs were already there with Winnie and Jayson. They were having merienda. Apparently it was one of the older BHW’s birthday. :) Shortly after, we started orienting the health workers about our week-long plan. (Mario arrived later.) They were all as interested as we were on the activities and thus came up with a strategic plan to be able to maximize our time. Time check: 11:25 am.

They didn’t want to waste any more time, so we immediately decided to begin the community health assessment by visiting houses and conducting brief interviews per household. The system: we go by zone (“purok”), with at least 8 samples each. The four of us managed to have 2 interviews each in an hour, finishing Zone 1 at 12:30 pm. Lunch time!

Zone 2 and 3 were next that afternoon. Just before we left the house (our foster family’s), the rain poured. Strong. But the show must go on. We had to keep up with the schedule. Each of us will have to get 4 samples each this afternoon. Mario and Jayson were in Zone 3, while we gathered data in Zone 2. Only a few minutes after finishing my second interview, the downpour was at its greatest. Upon leaving the Parajas household, there was water everywhere! Flood!

I immediately went back to the house after finishing my task. Mario and Jayson were already there so we decided to pig-out (popcorn!) while waiting for Winnie. She arrived 45 minutes after.

It’s almost 5 pm but the rain won’t stop. Mario already left an hour earlier. Jayson then decided to also head home.

That night Winnie and I started sorting out the first batch of data. We also had a little problem with regards to the questionnaire that we are using (a protocol from the org). Thus we decided to edit it and make it more relevant with our objectives, slashing some items out and adding some. We hoped that what we did will make our interview tomorrow more efficient for us to finish earlier. We don’t want to get our feet wet again.

I ended the day by taking a quick shower. Before going to sleep, I just realized that I really have to be a little more fluent in speaking the dialect. I know I was good at it when I was still here in Pangasinan, but five years away from home did take some of my skill in remembering some of the basics. Thus, my confidence in saying the words.

Right now, I know I suck at speaking Panggalatok.

I have to brush my tongue.

Seventeen Hours After

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:48:00 +0000

I’m starting to miss you.

BTW, my T-shirt smells just like you.

Now I miss you even more.

My First Med Jacket

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 07:35:00 +0000

Designed for [UPCM] PAGSAMA’s “Fridays with PAGSAMA” Batch Project this February 2009.

My Elective

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:31:00 +0000

“The hardest part is not choosing. It’s living with the choice you make.”

In school, the subjects we take are usually laid out to us already. We just have to get over each one to advance to the next level. However, electives free us from this tradition. It’s that time where we get to decide on our own what subjects to take. Subjects that could be different from the rest of the people we know.

In my senior year back in college, I got the chance to choose 3 electives. Three choices I made out from three entirely different reasons. The first one was because I knew the subject will benefit me in the future. I chose my second elective out of the idea that it will be fun and memorable. I was right. The third one, to relieve stress.

Now in med school, I have again the chance to make a choice for myself. This time, more choices, more opportunities, more action, more hype.

158 students get to make a choice. Me? I am more anxious than ever.

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My Happiness

rhey.ian@live.com (ian) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:53:00 +0000

So. Unexpectedly. Out of nowhere. You asked me if I was doing fine.

I was shocked. With a smile. Huh? That’s what I said. Yes, I am okay. Thank you. You just made me feel a lot better.

Ask me again if I’m doing okay.

I’ll let you know how much I want you.