Iced Tea and Sarcasm

It was a partial eclipse of the heart you left in San Francisco

2017-08-21T12:05:00.001-07:00

Never underestimate the fog. Happy 2017 Eclipse, America.

This is just to say (in the mode of WCW)

2016-08-30T10:21:00.001-07:00

(for Mirabelle)

I did not eat

the yogurt

that was in

the fridge

and which

you were probably

(apparently, perhaps, possibly, presumably, seemingly, no doubt, definitely)

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me nonetheless

Noosa is delicious

so thick

and so creamy

It could have easily been me

I hope you have a glorious National Iced Tea Day

2015-06-10T09:44:00.001-07:00

Here's a little link for you to follow to learn more about my favorite non-wine drink: Iced Tea Day - Iced Tea Day Home

Advertising graffiti or Post-capitalist critique of millennial marketing in San Francisco?

2015-02-24T18:06:00.001-08:00

I'm worried that these models look so sad and clearly have low self-esteem--or high self-awareness. And I'm worried that Nordstrom thinks these people would shop at their stores. And what exactly is the message? Don't be fringe? Nordstrom will make you happy? Always carry a pen to make pithy commentary?

The Duck-Rabbit experiment meets religion

2014-12-06T11:44:00.001-08:00

Is it 5pm yet? A wine emergency is brewing

2014-10-10T13:28:00.001-07:00

I'll be here today if you need me

2014-09-21T12:24:00.001-07:00

Didja miss me?

2014-09-02T19:02:00.001-07:00

I've been busy.

AirBnB loves San Fransisco?

2014-08-01T00:50:00.001-07:00

With corporate friends like this, who needs enemas?

The truth about decaffeinated coffee

2014-07-27T23:19:00.001-07:00

A Great Gift For New Parents: The Anti-Masturbation Cross

2014-07-23T14:18:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be an amazing Uncle Todd X. and get all my friends and family this for their sinful little ones. It's never too early to start teaching them to hate their bodies and fear their parents. Stop self-rape now with the anti-masturbation cross.

It's a high holy day: National Iced Tea Day

2014-06-10T14:57:00.001-07:00

Drink up!!

The meaning of life

2014-06-02T23:42:00.001-07:00

“The meaning of life is that it stops.”

—	Franz Kafka

Siri is a woodchuck expert

2014-05-01T19:30:00.001-07:00

Someday...

2014-04-29T21:59:00.001-07:00

Mont Saint-Michel, mon amour.

Me around babies

2014-04-23T22:34:00.001-07:00

They're slimy and warty, too.

The newest tech office perk? Whiskey

2014-04-22T20:30:00.001-07:00

Ice Cold Whisk(e)y, that is.

If your SOMA startup doesn't offer this employee benefit, I suggest a Lysistrata-style boycott. No more widgets and doohickeys, no more ones and zeros, no more Flappy Birds or Pivoting Paradigms until San Francisco techies get their Bulleit dispensers!!

You deserve it.

Support the return of baby cages

2014-04-22T18:57:00.001-07:00

They're practical, convenient, and relatively cheap. Much cheaper, actually, than getting a new apartment these days. Besides, babies love the fresh air and will make friends with the pigeons.

I suggest ~~releasing them~~ letting them out when they turn 18 or when they can start paying rent. But not a moment before!

Happy Easter!

2014-04-20T00:12:00.001-07:00

So cute! I want one.

2014-04-18T20:32:00.001-07:00

Tickle, tickle. Please don't eat me.

Evolution will start over with these guys

2014-03-22T08:58:00.001-07:00

And they will be magnificent.

Let me be among the first to pledge allegiance to our future Waterbear Overlords.

Balloon apocalypse

2014-03-21T10:01:00.000-07:00

Photographs by Thom Sheridan

In 1986, the United Way attempted to break the world record for balloon launches, by releasing 1.5 million balloons, which resulted in two deaths, millions in lawsuits, and a devastating environmental impact.

My favorite thing to burn

2014-02-25T10:00:00.000-08:00

Tumblr cracks me up.

Further proof that children are dumb

2014-02-22T22:13:00.001-08:00

Behold the majestic Word Bank. Imagine its struggles as it battles the Arctic weather and terrible predators.

National Margarita Day: Never forget

2014-02-22T18:40:00.000-08:00

Where were you when it happened?