idk my bff kim

As Seen On Yelp...

2010-07-06T21:16:00.003-05:00

It's that time of year again and I need me a haircut. The last time I got a hair cut it was awful. Anyone know someone? Hook a sister up. Please make sure it is not at the Aveda Institute. I have qualms about that place and here is why... Being in dire need for a long overdue haircut, I decided to try Aveda after seeing the great reviews posted. I'm sad to say, I was pretty disappointed. I'm

Don't Cry For Me. I'm Already Dead.

2010-07-02T00:02:00.016-05:00

It is true what they say, you never know what you have until it's gone and I learned that the hard way. It's only been two weeks, and I am trying so hard to pull through. The days are much longer now and the nights are so so cold. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I can't even stand being in the same room because I can still feel the presence of what was. My life isn't the same and I feel like I am

Beer Pong For Kids?

2010-06-10T22:22:00.000-05:00

So I was watching the Disney Channel per usual (it's fine because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a cougar when I grow up), and I came across a commercial for Cuponk. You don't know what that is because you're not down with the kids like me. Let me know explain to you what it is, Cha Cha. Basically, it is an extreme version beer pong sans alcohol (as far as we know). This cup makes noises and

MMMMM... Joe Jonas

2010-06-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

So, I was perusing the cool haps on the Disney Channel and came across a commercial for JONAS L.A. Now, I'm no cougar, but I will say, Joe Jonas was looking fooooooine. Check him out in their new video for "LA Baby". I got dibs. (Rawr.)

She Was Like John Rambo Meets Polly Pocket.

2010-04-21T20:59:00.000-05:00

Dear Hit-Girl, I must say that I was very impressed with your new film, Kick-Ass (which is in theaters now). Not only have I become the biggest advocate for this movie, but I have also decided to live my life according to its philosophies. Personally, as a super hero enthusiast, it stood for everything I stand for: sweet costumes, gratuitous violence, and sassy one-liners. In other words, it is

I Love You Like A Fat Kid Loves Cake... Or Do I?

2010-04-18T20:06:00.000-05:00

Everyone is familiar with the Oedipus Complex and the Napoleon Complex. Today, I would like to take this time to educate you about the Fat Kid Complex. This complex is a group of largely unconscious, repressed ideas and feelings which center around the desire to be accepted as a fully functional, healthy normal adult instead of the bucket of pudge they were as a child. According to modern

...And You Thought Earth Girls Were Easy.

2010-04-14T23:33:00.000-05:00

So I know that I may be late to the party when it comes to ABC's new show, V, but I'm just catching up on my new guilty pleasure that only further perpetuates my irrational fear of aliens. Anyways, after watching the first new episode, I have come to the conclusion that Anna, the head of these "visitors", is actually Baraka from Mortal Kombat. She manifests herself into this beast after mating (

Working Out or Having Sex?

2010-04-13T14:46:00.000-05:00

Contrary to popular belief, I'm a pretty laid back person. It takes a lot to get to me. Yeah, I don't like many people, but that doesn't mean I'm not nice to them. On the rare occasions, I see a fellow tenant in my building, I'm always sure to give them a smile and hope they have a pleasant day. It's just the courteous thing to do. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's in every lease and in the friendly

Lost Lessons By IDK My BFF Kim

2010-03-03T20:38:00.005-06:00

First and foremost, I would like to apologize for neglecting to update this blog, but trust me, I have a good reason. See, my life, as of late, has become consumed by a little phenomenon I like to call, Lost. Yeah, I know. I'm a little late to the party, but so what! I started watching this show a few weeks ago and became obsessed. Not only is this show wildly entertaining, but it taught me a few

This Valentine's Day Give Her Herpes... It'll Last Forever.

2010-02-14T14:06:00.001-06:00

Joyce Brothers once said, "No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along." This couldn't be proven to be more true on Valentine's Day. How many valentines have you gone through in your life? I know I've been through a few. All a guy needs to do is give you flowers, take you to dinner, and tell you that you're beautiful. Sounds pretty simple, right? Wrong.

Holy Missing Batman.

2010-02-09T15:54:00.001-06:00

Loose Skin & Old Balls... Gross!

2010-02-02T22:10:00.001-06:00

If you're like me, going to the gym can be somewhat of a drag. After a long day at the office, the abundance of caffeine that you had throughout the day is making you crash and burn. (Womp. Womp.) The last thing on your mind is working out. In most cases, you just want to have a drink at the bar and some chicken wings. No big. Let me tell you guys, that is not the answer. Your answer is at the

Chill Out, Freckles McGee.

2010-01-25T10:35:00.002-06:00

Dear Jersey Shore Cast (aka The Classiest People I've Ever Seen In My Life),In just eight frickin' weeks you changed my frickin' life. Your show spoke to me in a way that, you know, was so frickin' relatable. Every frickin' Thursday, I like frickin' loved all of your crazy drunken bar fights and misadventures. With all the Gotti hair gel and cheetah print and bedazzled t-shirts, I totally like

If Morgan Freeman Can, So Can I.

2010-01-13T23:16:00.003-06:00

Life. What a silly little topic, right? We've only got one and we have to make the most of it. But what do we do with our lives? What are we doing with our lives? What are we supposed to be doing with it? What do we want to do with our lives? What do we need to do? Do we live life on the edge or do we play it safe? I'm sure these are all questions you ask yourself when you're in your early mid-20

What a Girl Doesn't Want.

2009-12-07T21:48:00.000-06:00

Christmas is upon us and for those of us with significant others are facing that biannual problem of what to get them. Let me just say, it is way easier for a girl to shop for their boyfriend because to be honest, we listen and plus, that's what we do all year. He's obsessed with his X-BOX---BAM! You get them the video game he won't shut up about. His favorite band is on tour. You get him tickets

Fatty Loves Turkey.

2009-11-25T19:28:00.000-06:00

There was that perfect turkey full of goodness perfect for the food coma that ensued. You absolutely had to have that delicious stuffing tryptophan with those delectable buttered (mmm... butter) mashed potatoes and no, you didn't skimp on that gravy. Oh, and the pies. You can't forget the pies. We have this ridiculously amazing home cooked multi-course feast to just shove in our faces. Let's

Teenagers Scare the Living Mess Out of Me.

2009-11-23T22:02:00.000-06:00

Dear Youth of America, I think I'm speaking on behalf of, oh, the world when I say, you all suck. What the hell is wrong with you? You're all a bunch of not-quite-hipster, emo kids obsessed with glittery vampires and Justin Bieber. You all have these mood swings and tempter tantrums like you're all kindergartners who have the ability to form proper sentences. With your gender bending tight

ATTENTION RACISTS: STFU & TASTE THE RAINBOW

2009-11-11T15:00:00.000-06:00

I'm not a very sensitive person. Sure, I feel for the victims of tragedies, but at the same time I'm not one to dwell on them especially if I have no significant ties the situation. This sounds horrible, but it is the truth. Maybe it is because I have been raised in a sheltered environment. Maybe it is because the only tragedy I have ever faced involved my attendance at a 98 Degrees concert. It

I Wanna Drink 'Til I Can't Feelings No Mo.

2009-11-01T22:45:00.000-06:00

Binge drinking--what a joy it brings to the youth of the world. It makes the meek strong and the strong invincible. Your perception of the world is clearer after you drink a beer or two. Everyone is a little more friendly and not to mention, a little better looking. A sensation known as the "warm fuzzies" consumes you. The more you drink, the warmer and fuzzier this feeling gets. Scientists

I'll Bet Living in a Nudist Colony Takes All the Fun Out of Halloween

2009-10-30T11:14:00.005-05:00

At age 9, I found out Santa Claus wasn't real. I found red lipstick on the glass of milk I had left out for him that Christmas Eve to wash down the chocolate chip cookies I had left for him. The innocence of my childhood was shattered at that very moment. From that point on, I knew it was just my mother and father behind every major figure of my childhood and I made sure that they knew about

Kim Zolciak: Role Model to Women Everywhere

2009-10-15T21:21:00.004-05:00

Dear Kim Zolciak,Why you have not received the Mother of the Year award is beyond me. From nurse and stripper waitress to up-and-coming country pop diva, you are basically the next Taylor Swift--if Taylor Swift were a 42-year-old chain-smoking homewrecker. When you are not at home smoking at the dinner table and making your kids sleep in your bed (even though they are between the ages of nine and

Temporary Insanity, Curable By Marriage?

2009-10-07T19:41:00.007-05:00

Remember when cooties were arguably the most devastating and traumatic epidemic plaguing our generation? We had to get an imaginary shot at least once a day so that we remained immune to the cooties. Girls would avoid boys like the plague and vice-versa because god forbid any sort of physical contact. Hell, some of us would even go so far as to not even touch books or pencils that the opposite

If It's Tourist Season, Why Can't We Kill Them?

2009-09-29T21:49:00.021-05:00

I don't know about you, but I hate walking around Michigan Avenue (or anywhere with shops, statues, pigeons, restaurants, bars, etc.) and not being able to walk at a normal pace to wherever I need to go because some honky tonk from Wisconsin gets distracted by the way Water Tower place catches the light. If you are going to take pictures of trolleys and fountains because they don't exist in your

Open Advice to Anyone With a Y Chromosome

2009-09-24T20:24:00.010-05:00

Look, I get both ends of the spectrum. According to my Facebook Friend Stats (aka science), 58% of my friends are guys and 42% of my friends are girls. I walk the fine line between boys and girls. Girls think boys are just as confusing as you think we are. Sure, we overanalyze text messages and judge you on how you decide to behave in random situations (i.e. where you urinate because it is not

Television: Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover.

2009-09-21T22:49:00.004-05:00

For many, autumn brings new beginnings. I mean, sure, it's a little colder and the year is coming to an end, but come on, the Fall is about new starts. The kiddies are headed back to school. Those crazy undergrads are shacking up in the dorms and getting lost in the city. Some freshmen are even taking their first underage sips of beer as we speak. After all, it is the beginning of football season