Sanjaya is “The One”

IdolTwit — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 04:04:05 +0000

Sanjaya “Neo” Malakar. Must be, because that little dude dodged a huge bullet tonight. At least he got a nice dose of reality by being in the bottom three. All of you, put your hands up and start waving, because Sanjaya, you may be a nice kid and all, but your time has come to bid us farewell. Don’t go away mad, just go away.

So Brandon had to take Sanjaya’s rightful place this week. So be it. Brandon, I’ll always remember that time you got shot in the knee on live television and then acted emotionless as said knee begin to twitch in slow motion. Oh wait… that was your dancing. I actually liked Brandon, but he didn’t seem to have that desire to be the next American Idol. The way they called his name tonight and he just gave everyone this “Aww shucks” grin. Killed me inside. Show some emotion Brandon. It has to be there. Somewhere. Somewhere.

I was actually glad to see Haley wasn’t in the bottom three tonight. Good for her. Who are we kidding though? Can anyone compete with Melinda Doolittle? Sure, Lakisha’s got some serious pipes going on, and her single-parent backstory is something America has proven it loves (think Fantasia), but Melinda is just darn near perfect. She’s a pro’s pro.

Phil Stacey looked genuinely shocked to be in the bottom three tonight. Someone get him a copy of the memorandum:

To: Phil Stacey
From: America
Date: March 14, 2007
Subject: You

Phil:

You’re not that good.

On to the final eleven, otherwise known as “The Sanjaya Reloaded.”

Sanjaya’s performance from Tuesday, March 13

IdolTwit — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 20:31:24 +0000

I don’t even know what to say about this. Mrs. Twit and I sat through this unable to speak.

IdolTwit is coming…

IdolTwit — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 19:44:28 +0000

IdolTwit is meant to make the American Idol viewing/voting experience more ~~sarcastic~~ fun and enjoyable. I’ll be LiveTwitting the shows each week beginning with next week’s episode on March 20. Stay tuned because this is so going to rock. And the banner image of Sanjaya? He has to go people. It’s time. Once he exits we’ll start switching it up a little, but until then…

Want to talk to the Twit? Look to your left. Up. Up higher. Higher. Right there.