If Meadows Speak....

when the stillness seems too much

2012-01-23T20:10:00.001-06:00

I don't know why this is hard, the waiting, the standing still.

But it is.

Some days I long for it and yet, when it arrives, I'm not sure what to do with it, how to be still or sit still, or quiet the still.

But I need it.

And when the stillness is longer than I planned, when God seems silent because His words have stilled, isn't this where I reach a blind hand in faith to know He's still there, even if I can't seem to feel His fingers.

It's like our Texas trees, when the sky has stilled it's rains with drought, roots desperately search deeper waters under brown grass. A hidden work of ripping through new dirt to just find a drop of living water.

Our survival depends on it.

The sometimes dormant stillness of our faith seasons can feel like a winter-ed soul shut inside, frozen by the absent awareness of an active God, hibernation besetting our hearts under layers of stillness.

Waiting, praying or not, begging or beyond even trying, searching to only stop, because it's all there, a stillness so strong, you must painfully wait the next season.

Trees rest, grasses give up their green, perennials drop away from life, for the still, dormant time needed to grow. But then spring surprises us with its buds of sun-filled blossoms and lures our hearts to come and smell the cup of Hope rising with the temperatures....then we know.

Being still has supernatural qualities.

But even better, being still is the way our awareness is acutely affected by His presence and all the more beautiful once we sense Him springing in our hearts. And when we embrace the daffodil blooms, the redbud's unfurling, the dogwoods' wispy whites and pinks, when we look to the hills and see where our Help comes, then our faces shine in His glorious rising.

And we want to still this moment too and just bask in Spring's embrace after Winter's hold on us.

Seasons rotate in cycles and He's still creating, still changing, still speaking, still moving, still looking, still searching to and fro, still waiting, still sending His Spirit to plant new life so that our hope resides with this Counselor who's a most gentle, and faithful Gardener of our souls.

Even if my finite mind can't find the edges around His infinite ways, I know one thing is true, He's still here. And no matter how quiet the stillness is, how lonely our heart's ache in it, if we are don't give up chasing with all heart and soul and mind, He's still near, too.

{re-posted from the archives}

warning~~radical church rant

2012-01-14T14:46:00.000-06:00

I interrupt this regurarly scheduled blogging experience with an out of the box Christian experience. This may challenge your thinking and hence, any like-ability I may have or have had with you. If you want to keep it same/same, then just click away now. Otherwise, this might be a polarizing experience.

"The very flaw of the pastoral system and it’s hierarchy is what makes you inept to operate fully in Christ to begin with. It stunts your growth.

The system limits the Spirit’s operation in His Body, under man’s system or program, by saying His Spirit can only speak here, or in this way, or preferably not at all, as He will only disrupt the service.

They place themselves between you and Christ and wonder why you aren’t more mature in your walk.

But, when the Body begins to question the church, then the question-er is considered a trouble maker."

{to read more about the dangers of people demanding a "king" to rule over them, click here}

Frank Viola: Beyond Evangelical

2012-01-06T14:05:00.000-06:00

brave writing and your reputation

2012-01-05T09:37:00.016-06:00

I share questions and my deepest felt faith with my closest friends, namely two: my husband and a friend from another state (although a married couple also comes to mind). I stay, primarily within this circle because I think: people (like you) aren't ready for the real me {<---link}.

I remember telling that to someone years ago.

They asked me, after having known me for almost a year, how come they didn't see this side of me before?

It seems they liked it. I was frustrated with them and told them just what I felt. I don't know who likes being told off, but I guess anything is better than being something you aren't.

I tend to circle my wagons in a tight little circle and only there, too those two, can I really be all of me.

That's where I am safe to explore possibilities.

That's where I can be crazy with ideas and they'd be crazy with me.

That's where I can express my failures and know they'll share theirs too.

That's where I dare to be free, in the secret and hidden places of two people.

However, His ways are higher than mine means I'm in a constant stretch upward and upward always has a way of going outward.

Writing does that too.

Going outward, is both liberating and terrifying. There's risk involved when you leave bits of yourself on a page.

What if they can't handle your real-ness? What if they don't like you anymore? What if they think you're a loon? What if they think you're not nice? What if they think, "you shouldn't say that"?

The what-if's are killers.

And if I'm writing for the what-ifs, then I'm just borrowing someone else to be me.

I've come to the point where I must be true to myself (and to Him) and surge past the what's and if's.

They say it takes a year or two, maybe more, to find your writing voice. I usually take that to mean, listen to His voice and write.

But I know.

In these two years of blogging, I might have toned it down to make it more palatable for you. I might have phrased it just so, that it would sound slightly like someone else. I might have made it nicer so you'd like me. I might have made it catchy, so you'd think I was clever.

I might have made the words soft so you'd feel good about yourself, and in essence, about me too. I might have read your story and wondered, "now why don't I write those kinds of things"?

I've done all those things at one time or another.

I want to be nice and for you to like me.

But we know that's just vanity talking.

I want even more, to burn and speak boldly what He gives me to do and say. And it doesn't always look nice, but it's eternal.

Lately I see my responsibility in not being afraid of man, or his opinions, or my reputation. Some people will think that is just rebellious.

But I'm not after man's praise, just God's praise.

That means, breaking the habit of preserving myself. Which begins with a new habit of speaking from the burn in my heart and with all cost to myself, releasing them.

The first step is dying to flesh.

And popularity.

With Ann....

who's in charge of the church anyway

2011-12-30T16:56:00.001-06:00

The church is losing control of its people. Maybe now Jesus will have a turn.

To keep reading, click over to "eating locusts"...

dirty word of submission and crazy Jesus talk

2011-12-29T15:42:00.001-06:00

Read this and tell me how you like them apples on wively submission?

{one of my radical rants}

debunking silent women in church--guest link

2011-12-28T18:00:00.000-06:00

"There is no scripture from Genesis to Malachi that prohibits women from speaking in church or to literally keep silent in the church. There is not a single scripture verse in the entire law of Moses that deals with this subject." --Geneva

Click here, for a more exhaustive look and background to those pesky scriptures that Paul was referring to about women must be silent in church.....

{women} go tell the men--guest link

2011-12-28T08:22:00.000-06:00

"Why couldn't I make myself fit those {silent woman} guidelines? I tried, I really worked hard at it. I prayed, I repented, I apologized and I pleaded with the Lord to change me into what a godly woman was supposed to be....The worst question of all, why did I sometimes feel I was called to “speak”? " --to read more of what Geneva has to say click here.

My good friend is finally writing, in the open, and you don't want to miss this post.

~~Tammy

post-Christmas in all its weirdness

2011-12-26T18:16:00.007-06:00

We didn't have the tree this year. Or the manager, stable, and all the porcelain Christmas characters on display to remind us of that special birthday.

Our Christmas was brown.

But it was packed full of stuff, to be sure, as our time was spent moving. And between the boxes and the mud, well, that's where the brown comes in.

The severe drought we had all year, it's long gone. I can't complain, the mud looks real nice after a summer like that.

Except we have short memories, I think. No on knew when, if ever, we'd see rain. And then it comes, and comes, and runs all over the place, fills up the ponds, keeps coming, and it isn't long before we're wondering when it'll stop.

This Christmas, I didn't have time for all the hype or reflection.

And now this is the day, after.

Strangely, I don't feel the usual let-down, somehow.

I've spent most of this month moving, being thankful, and appreciating God's abundance. He lavishes His goodness on us and I'm always amazed or surprised by it.

I wrote and posted this here on Christmas day and thought, who posts such un-Christmas-y things on the day of Christmas?

Apparently, I do.

Even though I was aware of Christmas, this year, it didn't come to me in the usual Christmas wrapping.Yet it's been very special in it's own weird way.

There have been some great times of meditating on Him and keeping our thankful hearts before Him without all the other trappings, this year. Our family has been having a relaxed and joyful time without the usual stuff.

Our lack of preparations for Christmas, and now without my usual post-day blues, I feel as though I've been given the best gift, ever:

Peace and joy.

Funny how that works.

at Laura's.....

the church and its hostages

2011-12-25T06:00:00.003-06:00

{What better way to celebrate the post-Christmas season, than to talk about what Jesus did for us.}

I’ve seen how the Holy Spirit is sucked right out of church by doing, doing, and more doing. Or maybe it’s going, going, and more going from one program to another meeting, or confined by limited doctrines and intellectual religious experiences or exercises.

But few allow a Holy Spirit to live and breathe, and Lord have mercy, have control.

Join me at the new website to read more...

the Christmas of cows, dirt, and Heaven-help-me's

2011-12-23T20:47:00.008-06:00

I had a camera in my hand when a small herd of cows began stampeding me for their daily chow. I didn't know fat cows could run so fast. Let me tell you--they sprint for food.

I didn't get any pictures of what a blurr of slobbering heifers running toward dinner (or their Server) looks like. Let just say, it was a whole lot of ugly and a bunch of scary rolled into one.

Fortunately, I was the server so they stopped just shy of giving me any of those dark hoove tattoos.

My oldest son was with me and he said the oddest thing after such a near death experience.

In open pasture and cowboying up some chores, he brought me dirt. Holding a pile, he excitedly says, "Mom look, we have good soil!" And then began telling me the qualities of good soil.

Being the good parent I am, I didn't hear most of it.

I was thinking of why he said soil instead of dirt? And what child says we have good soil? And he's excited about "good soil", really?

Afterwards, I found out he and my Hubby have been talking about farming and growing hay.

But that doesn't change the fact, I'm slow.

We can spiritualize just about anything, but I'm really thinking about this soil business.

I want good soil and I'm wondering if the fruit of my lips speak good soil to my boys?

Black and loamy dirt is the best for growing crops. The dark color comes from all the fertilizing, plowing and rich minerals.

It's the place for roots.

So this Christmas, I'm gardening.

I'm checking my heart and tending to weeds, fruit inspectin', if you will. Lord knows I need plowing and planting with minerals from the Word so my heart can be fertile ground for change.

Soil sits. The Gardener does the work and fruit is the product of His labor. I can't make myself better. And sitting soil isn't idle. It's an incubator for Life.

I must be changed inside, out. And honestly, change seems harder as I get older. Or maybe its that I see more needed change than ever and that's what is hard.

Soil determines the quality of fruit and life and I'm no scientist or God.

I'm just the fruit bearer.

Good or bad.

I'm reminded, wise men went looking for a place to bring gifts, a babe, a King. The skies announced this good Seed planted on the earth that day.

So this Christmas, I'm tending to my soil because I want some of the Good stuff.

edited from the archives

what is going on here

2011-12-18T14:32:00.002-06:00

Besides the fact that I'll be boxing up my house this week, I'm also in the process of brainstorming for a new blog. It's at the infancy stage. (while also keeping meadows speak)

We'll be posting over there on what God has been doing and showing us about the church. If you feel like you want to contribute, please email me your thoughts and I'll be in touch with you.

The new link is here:
http://eatinglocusts.wordpress.com/

The "About" page says a little more of what this blog will be. You can also link up and follow so when we do start, you won't miss it.

I have some posts brewing and raring to go.

But, I'll be back after the dust settles here.

there ARE wolves in the church that want you to shut up, {guest post}

2011-12-14T08:12:00.007-06:00

Geneva, a friend of mine, will be guest posting today. She doesn't blog, yet, but she writes and sends some of them to me by email. This post is one of those emails and with her permission I'm sharing it with you. She longs to see the church turn with their whole heart, but she knows how the world and man also compete for those hearts. She strains her ear for the pure Truth, one which comes by fire of a Holy Spirit. But many times is disappointed by the watered down rhetoric from church today. As I prepare for a move, over the next couple of weeks, my time will be filled with boxes and transitions. Thankfully, it's just down our farm road.

For years I have had a secret fear there could be something wrong with me.

Something wrong with my understanding of God, His love and His expectations of us as His people.

It has been difficult to identify "it" but I am confronted with "it" regularly when I am open and honest with other believers who don't share my views. So, after numerous well meaning corrections over the years from fellow believers, I've learned to tone down my expression of the stirrings in my heart. I have also never been able to get away from "it'.

The corrections I refer to are the many exhortations I've received to repent from my own "judgemental mindset and critical thinking" concerning Christians who live in sin and even love their sin.

Sometimes these corrections have been gentle and sometimes they've been harsh but all of them have caused me to seek the Lord over and over again for His help in identifying these "judgemental and critical" tendencies in me, if indeed they exist.

The "it" in my life has been the secret fear that the "exhorters" could be right and I have a huge blind spot about my own motives and intentions. I have all these questions before the Lord.

Am I guilty as charged? Does my heart really have a huge deficit of the love of God for others? Does God's love for the church really negate the glaring lack of fervour for holiness and appalling lack of intolerance for that which is ungodly?

Am I guilty of "preaching law" as accused, or is He really the same yesterday, today and forever and it is us who have grown lukewarm?

Am I way out in left field or am I hearing and sensing the heart of God when I chafe in uneasiness at the discomfort I feel when I examine tepid beliefs that most accept as truth?

I have been on this journey for years to discover the truth about "it". So, let me share with you where I am at. Let me also warn you, if you are one of those believers who is convinced God is always pleased with you simply because you are His child or simply because you "believe and have faith", you will probably be offended by the following viewpoints.

I believe Paul knew what he was talking about when he warned by the Spirit of many false prophets, false teachers and false brethren in the church, especially in the last days.

Let me ask you, are there any in your church? Do you know of any in a neighbouring church? What about your entire denomination? Where are these wolves in sheep's clothing? I have found few people that will admit to personally knowing one, yet Scripture says they are among us.

Are we so politically correct we can't speak truth. Or is it because we are so blind we can't see the wolves?

Where are the watchmen who warn? Where is the fire that purifies? Where is the conviction of the Holy Spirit that produces a crying out from the depths of the hearts of sinners? A crying out for mercy and deliverance from sin and hell? A crying out for separation from the world and a separation unto God?

I listen transfixed to revival sermons of reformations and revolutions gone by. My heart leaps in confirmation at the scathing rebukes and laser point corrections that produced a yearning and a determination in people to walk in holiness before their God. I feel a burning and a stirring deep within me that causes my heart to cry out, "Oh God, Oh God! Let me be a part of revival like that!"

I am so hungry to see a holy hatred of the unclean thing. I am so hungry to see the fear of God return to His people. So hungry to see true repentance toward God, true faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and a true walk in the Spirit. I am so hungry for these things that words themselves cannot paint the picture adequately.

I am so weary of the many flavors of doctrines of devils that abound everywhere around me, with a new one springing up on a regular basis. New flavors of half truths, twisted scriptures and hyped up atmospheres that produce anemic converts who have a profession of God but no power in their lives.

"Converts" who are powerless against sin and instead cry "Don't judge me! God loves me!" when confronted with the truth of their condition. "Converts" who have no hatred for that which displeases God and who will fight for their right to embrace the various flavors of the day. I am so weary of these things and the utter distaste of them sometimes causes me to run and hide from the conflict they produce.

This is where I am in my journey to discover the truth about "it".

As I have begun to ponder, could "it" be a myth and then coming to the idea my heart may actually be beating in tune with the heart of God, I have become hopeful.

If the hunger that resides in me is just an extension of the hunger in His heart, I even dare to be excited. Maybe, just maybe I will see revival and I pray, Oh God let it be so!

~~Geneva

when Christmas isn't what you planned

2011-12-07T07:38:00.002-06:00

Christmas is different this year. It reminds me of when we first made our move back to Texas three years ago. The one we said we would never do.

I didn't know Granny would be that sick when we came to visit on Thanksgiving. We flew down with a couple of suitcases for our week-long event of turkey and cat hair.

And never left.

It was worse than I remembered. The cats, that is. I didn't know what a hoarder was back then. All I knew was, she had 30 of them living inside her house, plus 3 dogs.

But as age draws us away from youth, so it does with other things. We lose our agility too take care of a house or cats, least of all yourself when you have terminal lung cancer and you're a widower living on a diplated farm with no help.

So we made the move we said we would never do. I think that is God's sense of humor. When we say "never!" (maybe with a stomp or two), He shows us "never" really is just a joke.

We left our nice, newer two story house for a cat-infested one that had mold growing on wood floors and closests crammed full of stuff. We found rats living in them once we cleaned them out.

I loved Granny. But this was something else.

Christmas was just 'round the corner but there was nothing familiar or traditional about this one.

No decorations. No time to ride around and look at lights. No husband. He was gone, back to work in another state, the same state of our house that we loved so much.

Christmas was exceptionally hard that year. All we had was praise and worship and it played 24 hours because if we ever needed to worship in the mess, this was it.

I had to keep from crying with my kids when tucking them into one of the antiquated iron beds that hadn't budged from its spot in years.

But I still loved this farm.

I remembered laying down in chicken houses of fresh new wood chippings and letting the fuzzy yellow balls of a chick come near my stock-still, fourteen-year-old frame. Or the crooked hay rings that my sister and I would stand up, like a tire ready to roll. Or the woodland trail that I'd follow and wonder if the coyote we saw outside the back door was still out there watching.

I just didn't love living in this house.

On bad days, I felt as caged as those black security bars that were rusted shut outside our windows. The same ones put on in the 80's and hadn't been opened since.

Christmas had to be done from scratch, that year.

Which brings me to this year.

All the normal stuff isn't happening.

We'll most likely be moving somewhere near Christmas, so we haven't done the things we usually do. It's not far, just back to one of my favorite meadows here on the farm.

Preparing has been more internal than external.

I guess it always is, really. But without all the decorating, somehow the tunnel vision of Christmas is burrowing inside, more than out. It feels strange, good, and simple this one time.

It doesn't look Christmas-y around here. But there's a place where we are decorating His good gifts in our hearts and keeping the day He brought Light, fresh in our thoughts.

Because Christmas is more than what hangs on our walls, or lights up the night, or bakes in a oven, or is hidden under the wrapper.

It's about enjoying these things without needing the things to enjoy. It's about loving the gifts without giving to get. It's about counting our blessings without the fear to subtract. It's about living with Christ without forgetting the cost.

It's about alot of things and preparing is like stringing them into a garland, Named from the start, even if it's only hung in our heart.

At Ann's...

for when your life seems stuck in the mud

2011-12-06T14:07:00.003-06:00

Life has a way of doing that. Just when we think it's all dried up, it changes.

Lately, I've been experiencing lots of change and for the last two days, part of change has been rain. And if you know where I live, then, you know how important that is.

Black holes appeared in the ground where ponds and lakes used to be. Green became brown. Trees became dead. Humid become dry. Heat became sweltering. And summer roared it's hot breath like a prowling lion looking for whom it may devour.

Pastures were haunted with vacancy, as one by one, cows were sold because there was no hay or grass, or water.

But now?

Now we have mud. Who knew it'd be so soon?

And so much?

In the past, I've taken it for granted. I've been grumpy at how that sticky stuff tracks through a house full of boys. I've been a bear clawing at dirt-clodden jeans and wet shirts before two rambunctious boys cross the door's threshold.

I've downright hated mud.

I mean I really, really hated mud.

Because I only see a mess waiting to happen and I get stuck right there.

I'm looking for the next mess. It's coming, be sure.

We're talking mud, people.

But after the summer we just had, I'm seeing mud in a whole new light.

Somehow, when it's a given, when it's taken for granted, when it's just an ordinary thing, that "It", whatever It is, seems to be a nuisance and I'm just a mess-cleaner-upper. Being a homeschooling teacher, chef, full-time house keeper, dry cleaner, dishwasher, toy coordinator, at times can overwhelm me so that all I see is the dirt and the unclean.

I become a leper.

It's when we expect the expected and then it comes, we grumble. Or when it doesn't come, we grumble. Or when it really comes, alot, we grumble. Or if it comes a little, we grumble.

So I thank the mud and a Creator who's canvas happens to also be carpet and clothes and boots.

Because when life takes away what we took as given, when these kids grow up and out, when there's a drought of years left living, I'm going to wish I had one more day of being stuck in the mud of this day, with them.

In all it's stained carpet and wet red clay of it, I want these memories to cherish, not just ones already made, but the ones we're living, right now.

At Emily's......

and at Jen's....

The Crux-Interview of a {former Amish} Woman, Part 6

2011-12-05T13:28:00.001-06:00

“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:11 and 12

This is the last installment of the "Interview of a {former Amish} Woman". Deborah may guest post on here periodically, so check back and I'll make her writings easy to find. We hope you enjoyed this series as much as we enjoyed sharing it.

Q: You were in your 30’s when you left the Amish order, so when was it your life changed? How did you find God in a closed society?

Deborah: I was approx. 18 years old when I became born again and this journey really began.

I had a hunger for God and He visited me in response to that hunger.

I was alone that day and found myself weeping for several hours because I felt the drawing of the Spirit of God. This had never happened to me before and I did not know I was actually experiencing Him.

I felt an urgency and a tremendous yearning in my heart that caused me to weep almost uncontrollably. I remember crying out, "I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!"

I had gone to see a gospel sing at a nearby non-Amish church the day before and as I watched the people on the stage I could see they had "something" I wanted.

It was against the rules, of course, to go to a gospel sing but teenagers are braver then other age groups and the Amish expect and tolerate a certain amount of youthful experimenting.

As I wept before the Lord that day I started to hear His voice.

My heart could hear Him saying He wanted me to stand and be a witness for Him just like the singers the day before had been doing. I kept trying to explain to Him that was not possible. I was a young Amish girl and Amish girls just can't do those things. The battle went on for hours, just Him and I in the room.

I had a choice to make, would it be His will or mine?

The Lord was unyielding in His conviction and I wanted so much to say "Yes" but I instinctively knew if I said "Yes" from my heart, my life would change.

When I finally yielded my will to His and said, "Yes Lord, I'll do what you want me to do" the peace of God rolled over my soul.

The weeping stopped and I experienced something like warm honey being poured over me and through me, starting at the top of my head all the way to the bottom of feet.

I was cleansed by the blood of Jesus and the love of God enveloped me. I felt a great weight lift off of me and I was forever changed.

I joyfully basked in the glow for days. I knew I had been "saved", saved from an eternity without God by a God who loved me.

Q: What did you do right after your newly discovered faith?

Deborah: After some time I secretly contacted a full gospel church from a nearby town.

I was hungry for fellowship and I began to share my experience with them from the security of a neighbours phone.

I also sneaked off to their church service a few times on Wednesday evenings. They encouraged me to say the "sinners prayer" at their altar and I complied.

They were so excited but I knew nothing actually happened at their altar, it had happened weeks before when I was alone, weeping before the Lord and all I had said was "Yes Lord, I'll do what you want me to do". My surrender was not in my words, it was in my heart.

They then encouraged me to go home and tell my parents and family I had found the salvation of the Lord.

Q:What happened when you told your parents?

Deborah: I was hesitant because I knew what the consequences would be if I did that.

However, I had been trained my whole life to be compliant and obey those over me, so I did as they suggested.

Everything I anticipated that would happen, did happen.

The stand off lasted for a few months until I felt I couldn't take it any more.

I broke.

Or maybe I bent so I wouldn't break.

I compromised and moved my line in the sand.

I moved it back, a safe distance away from the onslaught of anger and gnashing of teeth, away from the tears and pleading to a more manageable position of personal guilt for being so weak.

I had no money and knew no one I could turn to for help but I retained my secret hope for freedom some day.

I gave up on the idea of explaining to the Amish what I had experienced and went underground with my faith. I settled in to stay until I was older and could better make my own way. I prayed for a "knight in shining armour".

Q: How long after this happened did you meet your husband who also was part of the Old Order Amish? And how did that affect your faith?

Deborah: Two years later a "knight in shining armour" did come into my life but he didn't look anything like what I wanted or expected. I heard the voice of God clearly say to me, "This will be your husband."

I resisted adamantly.

He was a young Amish man, quiet, soft spoken and not interested in me either. We were only acquaintances and I was happy to remain that way. To marry a young Amish man would seal my fate as a member of the Amish order for life and that possibility was what I resisted.

I was sure I had heard wrong.

Several months later I found myself thinking about this young man a lot even though we were still only acquaintances and not dating. I realised my heart had become engaged and I couldn't make any sense of any of it.

Our acquaintance changed to a relationship and I was very happy but I was confused about the direction my life was taking. I loved him and decided it must have not been the will of God for me to leave the Amish order after all.

We were married and I settled into a happy life with a young Amish man. I was a secret disciple, a Nicodemus who would come to Jesus under the cover of darkness with my questions and my faith.

Q: After “sealing” your fate with the Amish way of life, how did it conflict with your new faith?

Deborah: God has a way of working in our lives even when we aren't aware of it.

I was happy in my marriage but three years into it my heart was again crying out for freedom.

Freedom to worship the Lord in Spirit and in Truth.

As I stood by my kitchen sink weeping into the dirty water and piles of dishes, once more I was crying out, "I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do!"

Again I heard the Lord speak so clearly. "I will lead you out. I will take your hand and lead you out."

Faith exploded in my heart.

I didn't share what I had heard with anyone, not even my husband. It was like a life line and so precious to me.

I lived in expectation of that promise for a very long time.

It did not come to pass immediately, but I had a hope that kept me from despair during those years. I waited on the Lord and on my husband.

The time finally came and God supernaturally lead us out as a family.

Looking back I still don't understand some of the leadings of God in my life.

I'm amazed that I have my husband and children with me and we are happy serving the Lord together. I marvel at my journey with the Lord because it doesn't look like I thought it would at all but I have learned I can trust my Father who loves me.

His work is redemptive and restorative.

Romans 8:28 and we know that all things work together for good to those that love the Lord, to those who are called according to His purpose.

The Harvest-Interview of a {former Amish} Woman, Part 5

2011-12-01T22:21:00.053-06:00

A video with interviews of how some former Amish found Christ in the midst of a closed society. And if you have ever wondered how you can make a difference in the Amish society or if you are former Amish or Mennonite and you know others still "in", then stay tuned to the very end of this post. Today, we're continuing our series about an Amish woman who was shunned for her faith and left the Order when she was married and in her 30's. Once she began questioning the "faith" based on Jesus Christ, her troubles began inside the Order. All the words are solely "Deborah's" and in her "voice" and because of her contacts, in present day, with the Amish, she needs to remain anonymous (thank you for understanding, ahead of time). I only edited paragraph sizes (smaller bites for easier reading). Bold, italics, and larger print are all mine, to emphasis areas of interesttWe'll be doing a series based on questions from Hillary's gracious readers!

Deborah: Over the years I've thought a lot about how to minister to the Amish and to help bring a clear understanding of salvation, By grace are you saved through faith... not by works lest any man should boast Eph. 2:8-9

Q: So what exactly is the "rumspringa" and why do the Amish have it?

Deborah: "Rumspringa" is a time in every Amish teenagers life when they are allowed to be unsupervised in their activities and time spent with other Amish teens.

It starts when they are sixteen and continues until they are married. The rules for this period of life vary a little in the different communities but the main purpose is to find a life partner from among the other Amish young people.

Because this time in their life is largely unsupervised there are a lot of things that many of these teens participate in, including drugs, alcohol and sex.

Most parents know their children are participating in these things but it is looked at as "sowing a little wild oats" before you "settle down". These parents would not give their verbal consent to these things, instead it is consent by non-confrontation for the most part.
The parents themselves went through "rumsgringa" and expect their children to do the same.

It is in no way seen or endorsed by the Amish as a time for clear thinking teens to "make a decision" if they want to stay in the order or not.

To portray it as "a time to make a decision" sounds very noble but anyone that leaves the Amish order regardless of their age, will experience rejection.

Some will experience more rejection then others based on their respective community and a number of other variables including how much they speak up and proclaim truth.

If the former Amish joins a congregation that is similar in lifestyle, that can be viewed as much more acceptable then forsaking it all for the sake of Christ.

Q: What happens if someone runs away and needs help?

Deborah: Most in this group are teenagers and eventually do go back to the Amish order.

Many are so hungry to experience some freedom and the braver ones often run away from home. For this group, the motivation may not be hunger for spiritual freedom or truth, instead it is often the same lack of maturity that causes teenagers in general to experiment in the forbidden, regardless of the culture.

These teenagers eventually get lonely and homesick and go back to what is familiar and comfortable, especially when their motivation for leaving was merely to experience things like driving a car, going to the movies, etc..

However, from this group of teenagers, there is a percentage that respond to the gospel when they hear it, most for the first time. These young people hopefully will then go on to experience true freedom, a journey that is often difficult and hard.

There is also the issue of not being able to help those who run away before they are legally adults. The law requires they be returned home to their legal guardians, of course.

Q: So how can an outsider, an "English", reach the Amish?

Deborah: The biggest misconception I think outsiders have would probably be that the Amish are somehow "different" then the rest of humanity. They have the same physical, emotional and spiritual needs that the rest of humanity has.

Their values may be different because of their culture, but those among the Amish that don't know the Lord are just as lost as any other person without Christ.

For those that live near an Amish community and have a desire to minister, pray and ask the Lord for open doors of ministry.

Pray for an opportunity to share the Gospel with those that are hungry and trust Him to send some your way according to His will. If you experience a lack of response please keep in mind you may be planting seed for a future harvest.

The Amish do not have TVs or radios and most of them read a lot to quench their curiosity about things outside their community. Because of this I believe handing out very simple gospel tracts is a good way to present the gospel to them.

Please don't pass out any literature promoting your church doctrine or your denomination, only the simple gospel of "repent and believe on the Lord Jesus Christ." Trust the Lord and allow Him to lead them by His Spirit to the congregation He has for them and the life He has for them.

These are "my people" and I cringe at the thought of them exchanging one set of "rules" or man's expectations, for another set just as damaging.
This happens to many of them and it happened to me.

I had to "come out" out of several congregations that took advantage of my propensity to follow man in my early Christian walk, a propensity that I believe came from immaturity and a childhood that trained me to obey without question.

These subsequent quagmires I walked through after leaving the Order in search of freedom, added to the pain by repeated rejection.

Q: What do you consider the best effective tool for reaching the Amish?

Deborah: My own salvation experience is a good example and proof to me that the Lord will meet a hungry heart where ever He finds one.

I was alone in a room when I found Him as a teenager and my life was forever changed.

There really wasn't any single person or act that spoke to my heart and caused me to reach out.

The Holy Spirit is not at a loss or limited to help those whose hearts cry out to Him even if they don't have access to the things we often assume are necessary to experience salvation.

I have come to the conclusion that prayer is the most necessary and the most effective tool in my pursuit of bringing the glorious Gospel of Jesus Christ to the Amish.

Prayer that the Lord would open the eyes of their understanding and turn their hearts to repentance of sin. Prayer that they would turn from dead works and serve the living God.

Prayer that the fire of God would burn in their midst.

Prayer that they would be filled with the power of the Spirit to live in victory.

Prayer that they would be more than conquerors through the Him who loves them.

Mission to Amish People Promo from Shane Burgett on Vimeo.

To know more and hear in their own words {former Amish} people tell how living in a closed society and with rules was like "digging a hole" with no purpose, then watch this video. Deborah wants you to know about her heart for setting the captives free. Visit the Mission to Amish People (MAP).

And also their Facebook page at:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mission-to-Amish-People/324236356023

the cheap trick of Santa Claus

2011-12-01T09:49:00.012-06:00

Unwrapping the One who's birth came, is about the year-long preparing, the daily, hourly, minute, preparing.

The kind we grow weary of preparing.

"'Prepare the way of the LORD; Make His paths straight.'' Luke 3:4

All year ticks away and so goes the mundane, the ordinary, the surviving, and we get tired of it with a worn down living. Our everyday-battles make us war-torn and always looking for peace in our home or in our hearts.

But Christmas?

Christmas is mystical. When it comes, we look for mystery. We gaze into the unknown and feel the deep waters of an ocean so far and wide, we know not it's depths.

This is when we're able to breathe on dry bones to live or how we know hard stone quenches a thirst. Because we come here, back to this preparation of a Man becoming, man.

Yet, some want to fashion the mystery out of their own hands and so go the stories. The mystic becomes the magic of Santa Claus, talking reindeer, little elves, and the sledding Snow Man. But if we really know Who came, magic's true nature would be revealed for what it really is:

A cheap trick.

Magic is an inverted way of mimicking a Miraclemaker. It always leaves an empty shell once the trappings are gone.

That's why we must unwrap, not the magic but the mystique of Who came.

We remember that He is and always was and always will be and we let it blow our minds. We marvel at wonders and we awe at majestic's and we open those spiritual eyes to see Him behind every one. We look at expanses, watch the way of wind dancing in trees, let clouds bellow like an orchestra fiddling out cotton candy, and we know Who made those is bigger than we imagine Him to be.

And we begin to love Big-ness we can't define or contain or even try to.

We allow Him to be more than a "what would Jesus do". We allow Him to be "whatever Jesus does" and we go with the mystery.

Preparation is intentional and necessary. It's a laboring journey toward the event. A Man who was before time began, didn't just come, He prepared.

"Therefore, when He came into the world, He said: 'Sacrifice and offering You did not desire, But a body You have prepared for Me.'" Hebrews 10:5

Much preparation is being done, not just here but in the Heavens.

Unwrap it and open your mind to the possibilities.

"Then I, John, saw the holy city, New Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband." Revelation 21:1-3

Join me over at Ann's and Bonnie's for more journeys.

when you need a Phoenix Rising

2011-11-29T09:44:00.006-06:00

The day was turning out a bit Van Gogh-ish, after all, I just recently watched a documentary on his art and life.

I came out here to breathe, to let the cusp of evening air shock my lungs with crispness.

I needed a reminder of how life is always changing like the seasons. Because change does come and sometimes it seems long in coming, but it always does.

And I need to remember, now, to remember now, to be present and just still some part of my spinning days.

Because honestly, sometimes I feel like that sky, like a Van Gogh painting all vibrant in blues and yellows, with hard brush strokes. Except it's not the vibrant beauty I feel, but more the energy of colors moving.

Always moving.

Those pronounced and intentional strokes with multi-colored layers of a true, later in life Van Gogh painting is like the tornado which seems to always be ripping through inside my head. Like the tornado-ish cloud in the first picture.

I was transfixed. So I took pictures.

Lots of them.

The next day when I pulled up my small view window on my camera and showed my husband, he said, "My goodness, how many did you take?", to which I replied "Um, alot?"

Yeah.

Because in all our broad strokes of life, when the day is wrecked like a canvas of spilled paint, or vibrant by the loud colors of a temper, for when we just need to breathe, to Breathe deep, we look for the Phoenix rising.

Except its not some mythical bird, its this one Creature who has healing in His wings, who covers me with His feathers, whose wings are my refuge.

And I see Him on the horizon.

Slowly rising over the tree tops, with security lights on electricial poles blinking on, He rose like an eagle in the clouds. A blue wing sweeping over me for more than half the hour, growing bigger as I clicked.

Sure, I know there is "science" behind wind and currents that affect nature but I also know Who's in charge of clouds and tells the sun when and where it should go. I know Who sets boundaries for the sea and tells it can only go this far.

And I refuse to close my eyes or turn away from what creation cries out, You are there. We need only see it.

So I open.

I see the "Phoenix Rising".

"Who makes the clouds His chariot, who walks on the wings of the wind..." Psalm 104:3

Happy, happy day to be here again....

The Outside-Interview of a {former Amish} Woman, part 4

2011-11-28T22:17:00.007-06:00

An Amish woman who was shunned for her faith and left the Order when she was married and in her 30's, is opening up about her experience. Once she began questioning the "faith" based on Jesus Christ, her troubles began inside the Order. She's graciously allowed me to interview her. All the words are solely "Deborah's" and in her "voice" and because of her contacts, in present day, with the Amish, she needs to remain anonymous (thank you for understanding, ahead of time). I only edited paragraph sizes (smaller bites for easier reading). Bold, italics, and larger print are all mine, to emphasis areas of interest. We'll be doing a series based on questions from Hillary's gracious readers! Thank you Hillary and all your dear Facebook friends for giving us a plethora of material.

The interview will be published on Tuesday and Friday. Feel free to join the discussion in the "comment"s block. Any malicious comments will NOT be published. This is meant to be a safe place for her to share her story for the first time.

Join me in welcoming her......

Q: What do those inside the Amish Order think of those who live outside their culture?

Deborah: Many have a façade they wear when they are around the "English".

While most desire to have the respect of the "English", they aren't always sure what is required of them to earn that respect. As an example, "please" and "thank you" are seldom used in their interaction with each other, while American society recognises such things as basic etiquette.

In their interactions with the "English", most will also be very guarded and never completely trust anyone that's not Amish. Because of this, it is almost impossible to actually get to know who they really are as a people, especially on an individual basis.

Within the Amish there are various degrees of admirable traits and dysfunction in family relationships, just as there are in all societies.

Some children are taught more respect for the "outsiders" or "English" than others. Most have a respect for people in general and even an admiration for people in professions such as doctors, nurses and law enforcement etc..

Some do not care how the rest of the world views them and they can be very rude and overbearing to "outsiders". These are the ones who would be obnoxious in any society.

Q: There's a lot of attention on the Amish culture in mainstream media. Are these realistic or misconceptions?

Deborah: Some(Amish) feel they deserve admiration and special treatment just because they are Amish and live the Amish lifestyle. I believe that attitude has been strengthened by the unrealistic romanticising of their way of life in recent years.

For example, most of the books that have been written, especially the Christian romance books, bear no resemblance to reality.

The tour groups that visit Amish communities are presented with an almost idyllic life style, giving no hint to the complexities and hardships of living in a closed society without many modern conveniences.

The TV shows portraying "rumspringa", supposedly time that Amish teens are given to experience the things of the world to make the decision if they want to remain Amish or not, are a farce.

Every Amish teenager knows full well they are expected to stay in the order after they are finished "sowing some wild oats".

Q: What are some things from your upbringing that you've kept a part of your life?

Deborah: The Amish way of life does have some good things that I have hung on to.

Things like learning how to sew, growing and preserving my own food, the ability to survive off the land should I have to do so etc.

All these things with freedom in Christ are a blessing to me but my allegiance is to my Lord Jesus.

Q: Shortly after leaving the Amish, what was your experience like?

Deborah: When I first came out of the Amish order, I was very hurt by things that were said and done to me and wanted nothing to do with anyone in the Order ever again.

I felt anger and anxiety and a range of other ungodly emotions for a long time.

For me, the "coming out" was a relatively slow process and involved trying to find a place to "belong" among other ex-Amish who had formed a church. They were very cruel and still carried a lot of the self righteous baggage they had grown up with. They called me "Jezebel" and kicked me out of their midst for speaking up about things that weren't "my place" to voice.

We moved out of state for five years to escape some of the on-going conflict.

Because of the separation, the Lord ministered healing for some of the pain of rejection and I started to really miss the people I loved. Amish family relationships are very close knit and friendships within the community are usually from school age to death.

Q: Do you have any contact with family members still inside the Order, today?

Deborah: When I began to realise how much I missed the people I loved, I also began to try to re-establish some of the friendships in various ways, but my efforts failed for the most part.

I then needed the Lord to deliver me completely from soul ties to these people, their way of life and their belief system. The power to hurt me with their disapproval and rejection needed to be broken and cut off.

I still feel twinges of pain at times but the ability to cause those debilitating wounds that would incapacitate me for days, has been broken completely.

I no longer have a relationship (or practice) with any other Amish order or belief system. I have been separated from that way of life.

However, my relationships with various family members that are still in the order, cover a broad spectrum.

I have some family members whom I hardly ever see, some by their choice and some because of circumstances, since I am seldom present or invited to community events, etc.

On the other end of this spectrum, I have a sibling within the order who is born again and filled with the Spirit and we are very close, encouraging each other in the Lord continuously. She will most likely never leave the order because of other circumstances in her life.

As for past friendships with non-family members within the order, they are totally gone.

Q: How hard is it for you to have family members still inside the old Order and you living outside of it?

Deborah: The Lord God is so good and His tender mercies endure forever!

Recently while in prayer and waiting before the Lord, I was thinking about how I love these people but I no longer have a desire to be with them. As I was contemplating this fact, the Holy Spirit brought a scripture to my remembrance.

Matt. 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you are not willing!

As I read this scripture I heard the soft whisper of the Holy Spirit in my heart.

The love I now have for the Amish people comes out of the love and longing of God for all people, including the Amish. My heart rejoiced because I will always love them but I no longer identify with the Amish and I no longer "feel" ex-Amish.

I now identify with Christ. I am in Him and He is in me.

on why i need you to be you

2011-11-28T10:56:00.001-06:00

I was a chameleon growing up. Moving every year does that too a person. Adapting is critical to survival and I did more than survive, I thrived on it back then.

It wasn't until the last 15 years of my 40ish life that I've lived anywhere for more than a year.

There's danger in staying put, in living somewhere longer than the "new" girl wears off.

You might get to know me, the real me, the ol' rubbed off me. The kind I'm not sure I want you to see.

It's that rejection thing.

As homeschoolers, we are an isolated bunch most days.

I recently told my husband "I need to make an intentional effort of meeting with other ladies." Because too much time away and I become the turtle in a shell and I'm a people person, people!

I need you.

I need rubbing off and a place of encouragement-for-grumpy-days-me. I need the Holy-Spirit-filled-changing-me to fellowship with the Holy-Spirit-filled-changing-you.

Several Saturdays back, I was in a room full of women. No kids, no spouses, just us grown-up girls.

In other words, a rare night.

At one point, we all came together from our little chatty groups we'd been clustered in. In one big circle, we sat 'round a living room sharing, laughing, lots of talking.

I looked at each one and thanked God for their unique selves represented there.

Not for one second did I want anyone to be anybody else. I wanted them to be exactly as they were, individually different.

I prayed, "Lord, give them permission. Give them that deep-abiding joy of just how You made them, and that they not try to be someone else for the sake of being someone else. Give them permission to just be who they are."

That doesn't mean we don't improve or change according to His will. Heaven knows, I need lots of changing.

But we only change because it is His will and not our own.

There are many faucets of the human personality which make each one a delight or a trial unto itself, but oh how lovely the differences are. And perhaps my marveling at the gems sparkling from each one of those women is really a way of turning the mirror on myself and allowing my own "permission".

Go and be who you are in Christ because we need the authentic Body. Our differings, the essence of given grace, is what makes all our individuals, members of one another.

"We, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.

Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, let us use them..."

(some italics and bold are mine) Romans 12:5 and 6

at Michelle's....

and at Laura's...

on losing my religion

2011-11-26T09:52:00.006-06:00

Mine was one of those southern brewed religions. And I kinda liked it that way since it was safe and all. No weird Holy Spirit going-on's or any make me-break-out-into-a-sweat kinda religions. We kept things calm and dull and familiar.

My old religion had always been the steeple kind, with white doors, and an altar call ending Sunday morning service. Right on cue, the choir would sing their practiced praise and break for the tithe plate, followed by the punctual preaching 'til lunch time.

But somewhere along the way, a slow and long way, I lost my religion.

I started to want something more than I could control because my control only stinks things up. But without me, I'm left to Him.

And that's scary.

That means crazy stuff could happen.

That means I might look foolish, or silly, or heaven forbid, charismatic.

The 'holy spirit' in my old religion was an orderly kinda fellow, kinda quiet too.

I knew this religion. My denomination was my god of worship because it was safe, a god-in-a-box-so-I'm-comfortable-christianity.

But it's not safe, at all. It's a ham-strung and white-washed tomb for the dead.

This is where rules, or man, or doctrines of belief, or Sunday school, or programs, replace Relationship. It's where leaving is easy because I know there's no real fellowship to sharpen like iron once I vacate the pew or contemporary chair I parked on that Sunday morning.

I have grown tired of lifeless Christianity. I don't want to wait for "some day when we all get to Heaven". I want Heaven now.

I don't want any self-improving how-to's, I want the power to die for Good, from all self.

I don't want spiritual spoon-fed, I want the crunchy locusts of repentance.

I want the Holy Spirit church, the sanctified church, the wedded Church. I want anything there is and if I don't believe, help me overcome un-belief. Because the invisible is being made visible and I want eyes to see, that look straight into mystery and marvel at the Wonder.

And I've learned that losing my religion is really when I began to find it.

The Medicine-Interview of a {formerly Amish} Woman, Part 3

2011-11-24T21:30:00.005-06:00

Deborah: I have found the grace of God to be vital in true forgiveness or any real change in my inner man.

For instance, I can mentally know I need to forgive and I can make a mental decision or choice to forgive, but only by the grace of God that comes through the working of the Holy Spirit, can true forgiveness take place in my heart. Wondrous Grace, that supernatural ability to be like Jesus.

I would like to add something here concerning the Grace of God.

I believe there are many people that have a misunderstanding of the Grace of God. There is this idea that Grace is like a sort of "magical blanket", if you will, that covers anything about us and in us that is not pleasing to the Lord. These things are covered by this "magical blanket of Grace" and He isn't able to see them.

I disagree with that idea and believe it is a great disservice to the people of God when they do not know about and partake of true Grace that is available to all believers.

The Grace of God is the supernatural ability of God to take any of those things you may feel like hiding from Him, change them or take them out of you and replace them with Himself. You will then become more and more like Him, not a "magic blanket covered" version of self.

There is a huge difference.

Q: What has the healing process been like for you since leaving your Amish roots?

Deborah: To be honest, for me much of the healing in my life has happened without me being aware of it, which is probably the case with most healing.

Time was a big factor I'm sure, time and some distance.

As for my personal healing process, He will often make me aware of some emotional connection that has the ability to cause pain in my life. I will then give Him that relationship or situation and invariably I will discover some time later that it no longer has the power to hurt me on a level that is detrimental to me

There was a grief process to go through when separated from family members but it is amazing how the Lord has been restoring some of those relationships for me. But they are very different then the relationships we had when I was in the Amish order because they are new, not a recycled version of the old.

They are on the basis of me being who I am versus me being who they want me to be.

I believe the Amish are a people in bondage to a belief system with cult-like tendencies.

The way the Lord explained it to me was as follows; the more individual personal choices that are taken from a people group, the closer it becomes to a cult.

The Amish do have a range of personal choices left to them, such as the freedom to choose a spouse and the freedom to choose a vocation however, there are some conditions to these choices. For the Amish, their choice of spouse also needs to be in the Amish order and their vocation choice is limited by the amount of education they are allowed to pursue.

Q: Have you found peace in Christ?

Deborah: Yes, I have found peace in Christ. Growth in all areas is a process but the Scripture is true....we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1

The Shunning-Interview with a {former Amish} Woman, Part 2

2011-11-22T04:00:00.020-06:00

"Deborah": Rules are enforced by varying degrees of isolation for those who do not obey them.

All the rules are a part of a religious belief system that controls the people through shame, fear of man and lack of understanding or knowledge of God. The people are taught and many truly believe, to leave the Amish Order and disobey the rules, is to leave God.

There is usually a kind of grace period where the use of persuasion is employed, which means the leadership will be making numerous trips to your house to talk to you about your "disobedience". This is an awkward and embarrassing thing to endure for all involved.

Then there is the ordeal of confessing your "sin" publicly to the rest of the congregation when you finally do comply and come back into obedience to the rules. This is the method most often used in "correction" and is very effective because it causes such a feeling of shame.

If this process fails and a person persists in refusing to comply, they will eventually be excommunicated.

This means they will not be allowed to partake of communion, and in many communities, no longer allowed to sit at a table and eat a meal with any other Amish church member. An Amish person who eats a meal with an excommunicated member is considered to be violating the rules.

The Amish culture is held together and revolves around their religious belief system. That belief system consists of traditions and good Biblical principles, mixed with misinterpreted scripture and superstition.

They are a society within a society, or a culture within a culture, just like the Black communities or Hispanic communities of America have their own cultures or societies.

They have their own language and traditional rules to follow, some are written and some are not. The rules that are not written are no less powerful than those that are, and all community life and behaviour is governed by the rules.

Q: What sect of the Amish Order were you in?

The particular order I was born into is known as the Old Order Amish.

Q: What does the Amish faith look like? For example: What is considered sin?

"Deborah": Sin is considered to be disobedience to the rules. There is a lot of emphasis on submission to authority with the attitude that submission to authority is godly even if authority is wrong.

In the event of excommunication, the Scripture in 1Cor 5:11 is often used. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner--not even to eat with such a person.

However, many of the actual sins listed in the verse are considered minor offences if considered to be sin at all, and many of the rules that govern daily life have nothing to do with behaviour the Scriptures would actually call sinful.

As Jesus said in Mark 7:13 ..making the word of God of no effect through your tradition you have handed down.

The bishops make the rules for the community.

There are no women in any positions of leadership or authority. Because of this, the rules for the women's everyday lives often do not keep up with the rules for the men's lives, in terms of ease and convenience.

For example, the rules for the men may allow them to use machinery that is powered by a gasoline motor for their work in the field or barn. In contrast, the women may not be allowed to use tillers or gas engine powered lawnmowers to do their work in their lawn and gardens.

The women are seen as a vital part of the family and community but not expected to give any spiritual counsel or input. They are expected to "be silent" and they are not involved in any decision making concerning the rules for the community.

As in all societies the most dependant are the most vulnerable and most likely to be abused.

Within any self governing society there is usually a hierarchy and the same is true of the Amish. There are some families in the community who are a lot more influential then others. They can sway the leaders to make or change the rules to benefit them and/or their businesses, and do so at times.

Q: So, would you say the Amish faith is based on how well you obey the rules vs. a relationship and faith in Jesus Christ?

"Deborah": Yes I would say that. A relationship with Jesus Christ is not emphasised and in my experience, many Amish lack a personal relationship with the Lord. They are sincere and have a zeal for righteousness but it is not according to knowledge.

I would also say, "The harvest truly is great but the laborers are few; therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send laborers into His harvest." Luke 10:2

the disease this time of year

2011-11-21T10:50:00.006-06:00

You've met them and at times, you have been them. Because really, in our culture, that seems to be the battle.

It's the Wanna-be-War which rages against us in a world full of stuff. And with Christmas, in all it's "finery", beginning to parade around in stores, I'm reminded of how stuff pulls me in.

Inside Costco's neat and tidy aisles, I'm assualted with lines of sparkling goodies, and the suck begins.

I immediately whipped out the paper from my purse and reminded myself: list, list, list.

But as good parents, we allowed our kids to go up and down the toy and gadget aisles, and nod "Yes, that's neat.", "Oh yes, I like that.", "Why yes, that'd be a great project." followed by the, "No, we aren't getting it, and it, and it."

I began to get irritated, not by my kids, as much as by stuff.

But it's a battle.

Because I love stuff too. I'm just like my kids. I survey the warehouse and I begin to want, too.

Stuff kills. I know this.

It quenches heaven and starves the spirit, until we're spiritually anorexic. Stuff makes us feel fat, while thinking just one more thing, is the key to making it all better.

And Wanna-be-Wars begin as we think about, so-and-so who has stuff, or so-and-so magazine girl looking like that, or so-and-so friend did this, or so-and-so does that thing better, and we're off.

The race has begun.

Before my family knows it, I'm at the cell phone booth to switch out my service. Already, the glossy new phones seem too "smart" to not sign up for the new do-dad, gizmo, or data package, it has to offer.

Family after family comes to the booth, ooo-ing and aw-ing over this phone or that. Teenagers with parents trying to convince them, "This is the one I need."

All I can think about is the rapture on their faces, eyeing stuff. And I think how that's me, merrily going along with my man-made worship, mesmermized by things carved by hands.

I'm grieved, Holy Spirit, by our happiness-search.

Instead of eagerly coming to Your booth to get Your latest upgrades, we go to the world. Instead of searching out Your social media, we click away. Instead of handling the invisible spiritual matters with ooo's and aw's, we fix our eyes on the visible--stuff.

In our western culture, we are in a minefield of trappings. We carefully step among materialistic cursings that brightly allure us. We have to deny, deny, deny in a humanistic culture that says, "good ahead if it feels good" or "if you can have it, get it."

We must choose, the foot of the mountain or the climb. Lingering too long at the bottom, is where we build golden-calves.

So, up we must go.

In my western world stream there at Costco, I tried to swim up a ripple.

At the cell phone booth, I did what I came for. I downgraded. It's small, I know. Minor, really. Nothing even, compared to Heaven or the poor in spirit.

No phone email, no phone internet, no more Google searches, no phone with Facebook or Pandora. Just a phone.

My husband and I left.

And in the car, we wondered outloud, the disease of stuff.

“ Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 5:3

at Laura's ...

and Michelle's.....