If only my English were better

Lily: Back in time

noreply@blogger.com (nat) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 20:05:00 +0000

You can now follow Lily's thoughts and rants here at Perfect Accent Without a Trace of English . It's a younger Lily, but has the same spirit. Start from the beginning, since it's in chronological order.

Oh, well.

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 21:45:00 +0000

That's the only thing I can say when I realize I love this blog, but it may be over.
Hum!

I love my job

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 21:41:00 +0000

On Friday, they're sending out with digital cameras to capture and think about beauty. All day. And it will be sunny and 78 degrees.

Napoleonic common sense (which means zero)

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 15:49:00 +0000

Sarkozy's move to completely ban the burka in public is not only a violation of personal freedom, it's also the fastest way to increase resentment and acts of retaliations.

When good gringo goes bad Hispanic

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:10:00 +0000

You would imagine having NBC participating in a Hispanic network would give you 30 Rock in Spanish. Wishful thinking, darling. This is what we get: more freaking novelas... like if the interactive factor would make it better.

Immigration à la Gertrude Stein

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 16:08:00 +0000

An accent is an accent is an accent is an accent is an accent.

Not a symptom of learning disabilities or mental challenges.

Dedicated to morons the world over.

Latest aquisitions

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 20:26:00 +0000

Bonito and I usually go to Long Island to get plants, but given the schizophrenic specimens we've gotten the last few times (we even got a sociopath Lilac), we have opted for plain Home Depot in Queens to get this season's new guests for the terrace. Among them,
-Two rosemarys: Ero and Tico.
-A Roma tomato plant, Calígula.
-A Beefy steak tomato plant, Atila.
-A pansey, Ursula.
We already have a Phillip the 1st (of Spain) and a Phillip the 2nd (also of Spain), and a bunch of bamboo shoots called The Aragonese.
The sociopath Lilac is called the Diva.

Better than my therapist

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 19:42:00 +0000

My friend GT sent me this personality analysis made by http://typealyzer.com based on my writing.

"The author of http://www.ifonlymyenglishwerebetter.com/ is of the type:
ISTP - The Mechanics: The independent and problem-solving type. They are especially attuned to the demands of the moment and are highly skilled at seeing and fixing what needs to be fixed. They generally prefer to think things out for themselves and often avoid inter-personal conflicts.The Mechanics enjoy working together with other independent and highly skilled people and often like seek fun and action both in their work and personal life. They enjoy adventure and risk such as in driving
race cars or working as policemen and firefighters."

Waiters in Brazil seem very forward

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 03:50:00 +0000

—Hotel beach lounge, Cambury, Brazil.
Totally Not Sexy Waiter: So, can I offer you something to drink?
Lily: Hum... what do you have?
TNSW: Passion fruit juice, beer, sodas...
Lily: Hum... I don't know. What else?
TNSW: Pineapple juice, caipirinha, rum and coke...
Lily: Hum... I don't know.
TNSW: What you need is a pinga (In Portuguese: a shot of the liquor cachaza?)
Lily: Pinga?!? (In Caribbean Spanish: A penis?!?)
TNSW: Yes, a pinga will make anybody feel good. I'll get you one.

What's up with me and Portuguese

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 20:07:00 +0000

Everytime I try to learn Portuguese I start laughing at my pronunciation and have to stop, especially when I have to say that I'm 37 years old, which for me in Spanish sounds more like I have 37 anus than years. Childish, I know. The only words I've learned for my upcoming trip to Brazil is "Prazer," "Sim" and "Ta bom."

Totally hooked on

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 20:04:00 +0000

Yma Sumac.

Wondering...

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:38:00 +0000

What kind of person would I have been if I had never left? Would I have traveled as much? Heard at least a decent opera? Would I be unable to grasp the concept of tolerance? Would I still think Venezuelans don't have an accent when they speak and that all English word end in "ation"? Would I be talking about revolution, censorship and violence instead of fullfillment, meditation, wisdom, and lets be honest, neurosis?
Wow. I guess countries and cities are like people. Some allow your best traits to come out. Others...

And yet we still think he's a bafoon

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 14:34:00 +0000

Chávez says he's not planning to "control the Internet," just to make sure that those who use it "do so responsibly." Hum! REad full article here.

I finally found out my true identity

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 23:10:00 +0000

Homeless pointing at Lily: You, hey, you, Jewish crap. Yes, I'm talking to you Italian trash. I know, of course I know. You are a f_ Irish! Iriiiishhhhhh.

Random conversations #10

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:22:00 +0000

—At the PooL Art Show, NY, March 2010. It must have been my English... I'm sure the conversation could not have been this... this... deep?
Journalist: So, tell me about your art.
Artist: How can you ask me about art? There are wars going on.
Journalist: Yes. But we are at an art show. This is your exhibit actually.
Artist: But do we have to talk about it when they are children loosing their limbs in bombings.
Journalist: Well, I sort of work for an art jounal.
Artist: Painting versus bombs. What do you think is more powerful. Is my art blowing you away? Are you losing any limbs? Because. Children. Are. Loosing. Their Limbs.
Journalist: So why are you here?
Artist: I doesn't matter. War matters. Bomb matter. Loosing. Limbs. Matters.
Journalist: So why don't you create art based on that? All your pieces are made from fashion magazine.
Artist: Fashion? Do you want to talk about fashion? You may have all your limbs but you certainly have no heart. Fashion!

Are we eally that stupid

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 20:24:00 +0000

Spending money in study like this one to research the obvious? Or is just the pathetic 6th grade level journalism that makes it sound like I'm part of a society of retards.

Haiti... Tahiti... it all sounds the same

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 22:57:00 +0000

For thos who don't understand Spanish, this news items talks about how Rumania sent their humanitaria relief efforts to Tahiti instead of Haiti. According to one of their ministers, "Haiti, Maiti, Tahiti... they all sound the same."
(...)
Did you believe it? No. Just kidding. The news was written in the Rumanian version of The Onion and Spanish TV picked up (still can't figure out if they really believe it was real).

It took me 25 years and an earthquake...

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 15:23:00 +0000

...to realize 6 of my highschool companions where the sons of Chilean in exile. So I guess I wasn't the only one not feeling at home all those years. They all went back. Hum!

Snow!

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 18:17:00 +0000

I always complain that it doesn't snow enough in New York. I will shut up from now on. I barely was able to get the dog out of a pile of snow that reached over my knees. And they're another 24 hours to go. Wow.

USA vs. Venezuela

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 23:03:00 +0000

—Sent by e-mail by my friend A.D.
Americans declare: "We have Barack Obama, Stevie Wonder, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash"
Venezuelans reply: "We have Hugo Chavez, no wonder, no hope, and no cash."

I'm going to Panama, Colombia

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 22:41:00 +0000

Hotel reservations guy: How may I help you?
Lily: I need to make a reservation for your hotel in Panama City, Panama.
Hotel reservations guy: In what state is that located?
Lily: No, no, it's not in the United States. It's in Panama. A whole other country. And Panama City is Panama's capital city.
Hotel reservations guy: Oh, right, and that is in Colombia, right?

If this guys knew the historical background of what he just said he would die of shame... twice!

Text confussion

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 20:53:00 +0000

What happens when people who speak English as a third language try to communicate via text with native speakers. For reference, this happened the day of the snow blizzard in NY.
Native Spk: Hi. Bet you are off work today. Do you have lexis nexis access I could borrow? Stay warm.
Lily: Hi darling. They just let me go. No lexis nexis for shallow ad copywrtiers. Sorry.
Native Spk: Dios mio! And of course I just hired someone. Will u be ok?
Lily: hahaha no, sorry, my English, they let me go for the day bc of the snow storm. Thanks though!
Will these things ever stop to happen? Come on, I've been living in the US for over 15 years!

Fishman was scary...

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 22:08:00 +0000

...But how did Chinchilla beat him with THIS!

Costa Rica: No wonder the other candidate won

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:47:00 +0000

This video promoted Mr Fishman's candidacy to the Costa Rican presidency. It's not a joke—you can actually see it on his website. Mrs. I guess Laura Chinchilla, the new president elect, must have been celebrating since this ad came out.

Buenos Aires in numbers

noreply@blogger.com (Lily W) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 22:10:00 +0000

Number of days I was there: 5 1/2
Number of days with sun: 1
Number of days with "End of the World Type Thunderstorms": 4 1/2
Number of times people tried to rip me off: 5
Number of times they succeeded: 2
Number of taxi cab drivers that could not stop talking: 7
Number of taxi cab drivers that remained silent: 1 (the one who ripped me off)
Number of taxi cab drivers totally insane: 1 (remember, the horses of the apocalypses were already running freely around the world)
Number of times I heard the world "boludo": 239
Number of times I heard the expression "hecho bolas" (Destroyed to bits in a slightly more vulgar fashion): 62
Number of alfajores I bought as present: 40
Number of alfajores I was able to eat: 0
Number of times I heard Argentinean fight: 37
Number of delightful, sweet Argentinean women I met: 4 (a total record)
Number of obsecene/ridiculous acts/comments from the government: 7
Number of pesos it takes to eat the best media luna in BA: 3 (less than a dollar!)
Number of handsome Argentineans: ...could not count.

All in all, I. Am. So. Happy. To. Be. Back. Even though it's like 25 F here and 90 F there.