“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging, and it is very difficult to find anyone.”
—J. R. R. Tolkien

People are scared of having adventures.

This is true, even for the people whose hearts want to explore. Something’s holding them back–the what if? questions, fear that we will return changed–if at all.

We forget that change helps us grow. If we never changed, we’d be dead…and if we’re going to change anyway, why not become brave and go looking for that dragon?

Because if we sit and wait for something to not happen, the dragon finds us unprepared. In that situation, we really don’t know how to fight it, and it’s more likely to defeat us. We’ll be killed, not just changed, if we sit and pretend there’s no dragon sniffing us out.

It’s far better to be alert for the One who knows the way to the mountain. He’s the One who defeats all evil–the One who’s saved you before and will do it again.

Books are wonderful, they are vivid, but–the real world is not bound within the pages of your books–it’s out there.

Outside that window.
Down the curvy road.
At the coffee shop.
In church. At work.
At airports–the stories you hear in airplanes–and new soil when you land in a place where the air smells different.

Don’t be afraid to explore!

Haven’t got the money for an airplane ticket? Well, there are other ways to have adventures–other things that will change you. All adventures have one thing in common: They change you. Some changes are, of course, more notable than others. What to do when faced with a long adventure and a short one? You should always seek out the one that’ll change you more. That’ll mean you’ve learned more.

Be alert. Be prepared.

What if Jesus came to your door and asked if you’d take up your cross (adventure) and follow Him? Would you refuse–and if so, why? Because you’re scared to change? Any change He’d lead to would be for your own good. It’ll chisel you into a better person, a hero in someone’s tale! Never be afraid to follow Jesus on an adventure!

Also, it’d do you good to seek out such an adventure yourself. Be eager and ask Him, “Lord, how may I help in the journey You’ve planned?” I read a quote once about how if you desire with all your heart to seek The Lord, you will meet on the road, because He is also looking for you! It’s never too late or too early to have an adventure; when the time comes, it’ll appear in search of you–or you will find the courage to go out looking for it.

You can, and ought to be eager for an adventure. Because in the end, He will sweep you into one. And you will never be the same.

That’s a good thing.

It was a breezy spring afternoon at wrap up week for National Evangelization Teams (NET) Ministries. Hanging out in Amery, WI at Camp Wapo was a chance to connect with friends and prepare ourselves to ‘face the real world’. As the crowd was gathering in the chapel for the next wrap up session on something like, ‘trusting God with your future’, or ‘how to proclaim Jesus in the workplace’, my very dear friend, Jeremy, grabbed my hand and said, “C’mon! Let’s go!” Stunned, I looked at him. “But, but, but…”, I stammered as my eyes watched the people go inside and my body started moving in the opposite direction. I couldn’t help but think that ‘I don’t skip, this isn’t me! I go to things I am expected to be at.’ But that day, I didn’t and in some ways it forever changed my life.

Jeremy led me down a wooded path just beyond the buildings. There was some sort of team building course set up. I remember there being a long rope to balance and walk on with ropes on the sides to hold onto. Below was a big pit of sloppy mud. Jeremy got on the rope and helped me up. As we started across he turned and looked at me intently.

“Molly, who is your patron saint?”

Being the good Catholic girl that I was, but still having a very Protestant disposition, I wasn’t sure what he meant.

“Uh, I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know? Who is your confirmation saint?”

“I don’t have one.”

“You didn’t pick a saint at your confirmation?”

Nope. I sure didn’t. And I remember so much about that day, April 10, 1994 to be exact, but I don’t recall having a saint.

“Well, that’s ok,” he said, “we’ll find you one.”

“Can you do that?” I asked.

“Sure, why not? Now let me think…”

A few moments went by. Excited and nervous, I looked down at the mud, thinking about who it might be while simultaneously thinking we might get caught skipping out on session. I looked around, no one to be seen. We started to move again.

Abruptly he turned to me causing the rope to sway and exclaimed, “I’ve got it!”

Grinning from ear to ear, Jeremy proclaimed, “Joan of Arc!”

“Ohhh, I like that,” I said, and I really did. I knew very little of her, but I liked the thought of having someone so courageous as my saint.

“Yes, that’s right. She’s strong and is a great warrior. And you, you are a great warrior.”

I looked shyly down, not used to having a guy pay so much attention to me. I was pleased, but certainly didn’t quite feel like a warrior. I also couldn’t help but think of her being burned at the stake. Did I really want my patron saint to be someone who was burned alive! Did that mean martyrdom was in my future?

“Uh, could I also have Mary?”

He laughed, “Yes, yes you can. They will both be your saints.”

And then he said it, “Molly Jean Mary Joan.”

I don’t know how long it took me to figure out that my birth names are actually derivatives of my patrons. Molly is an Irish form of Mary and Jean is a variant of Jane taken from John, which Joan is the feminine equivalent to. I guess your patron saint really does choose you.

I remember that day proudly recalling how Jeremy treated me, the abundance of life he exuded. His smile. The way he looked at me when he said Joan of Arc, brightly grinning, as if he just revealed a great secret. He was a good friend to me and I was glad to cut class to forever have that memory with him. We had a few other adventures during our time with NET, but this is the one that remains so present with me today.

A year later we lost Jeremy to a tragic accident. A life shortly lived, but lived to the full. It’s been 14 years since his death, but I still recall that spring day. The mud. His smile. His ability to make one feel known. Thank you Jeremy for teaching me about living life to the full and for giving me one of the greatest gifts one could ask for, my patron saint.

St. Joan of Arc’s feast day is May 30. To see my favorite painting of her, click here.

Who is your patron saint? How did you choose them or how did they choose you?

“She’s married with three kids and she is only a year older than I am, what am I doing with my life?“

“She’s traveled to six different countries in the last three years, what on Earth have I been doing?“

“He’s got a great full-time job and just got engaged to one of the most amazing women I know. What am I doing with my life?“

“She just makes the most radiant bride! And she is younger than me?!“

“Look at her beautiful baby bump, she is just glowing! What am I doing with my life?“

“He’s a seasoned songwriter, making God only knows how much money, and touring and traveling, and he’s married. And he’s three years younger than me?!“

I get it. If I’m being really honest, I know those aren’t the best thoughts. God is using each of those people exactly where He needs them to be. But what about me? It is such an easy question to wonder. I can look at just about anyone and tell you that I feel infinitely less accomplished, less put together, less well-off than they are. I can come up with things I’m doing right, things I’m blessed with, and things I’m happy about. However, with each on of those things I can easily put a caveat as to why my life isn’t as awesome as it could be.

I’m using all of my degrees in a job I love…but I’m working two jobs in the same field and I’m still not full-time.

I get to travel more frequently than most…but I don’t get paid vacation like so many of my friends.

I love my living situation…but it isn’t where I thought I’d be living at this point in my life. I thought I’d own a house by now.

For weeks and weeks I’ve been telling myself to stop comparing my life with other people’s lives. The words of Steve Furtick ring so true in my head, but they don’t penetrate my heart: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” My behind-the-scenes is messy and chaotic, but everyone else’s highlight reel is picture perfect. I see their houses, their freshly painted rooms, their cute sonogram pictures, and their sweet engagement stories and I can’t help but wonder what I’m doing with my life. Am I wasting my time? Am I really serving God? And for goodness sake, why isn’t that MY life?

Then one night, like a train on the tracks, it hit me. My mom came home from Mass and told me that she’d told a lady at church who is about my age that I’d written a book. This lady’s response? She wrote a book!? What on Earth have I been doing with my life?! 

The thing is that we all do this business of comparing our lives to others. It wasn’t until someone compared her life to mine (and felt exactly how I’ve been feeling about everyone else’s lives) that it really hit me: we are exactly where God wants us to be. God called the songwriter, and the wife, and the mother just as much as He called me to write a book. Is this the life I thought I’d have? No way. But if it is where He wants me, if my great passion is meeting His calling for my life, then no comparison can ever rob me of the joy of serving, following, and loving my God.

What are we to do when someone who has committed such horrible crimes needs help? This was the ethical dilemma facing these doctors and nurses. They are professionally obligated to treat the man, regardless of what he did. According to a recent article in the Boston Globe, some of the nurses went against their instincts and tried to treat him with a cold professionalism. They thought maybe that was more appropriate in this instance. Some of them kept in mind that he has to live to answer for his crimes and to tell authorities what he knew. All of them asked to be unidentified because they were afraid of public backlash.

This is one of those times when Jesus’ commandment to “love our enemies” (Matthew 5:43-48 and Luke 6:27-35) is put to the test. We know that the person in front of us likely committed great evil, how are we to treat him?

Our faith gives us pretty clear guidelines. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church states:

1933    … The teaching of Christ goes so far as to require the forgiveness of offenses. He extends the commandment of love, which is that of the New Law, to all enemies.  Liberation in the spirit of the Gospel is incompatible with hatred of one’s enemy as a person, but not with hatred of the evil that he does as an enemy.

These medical professionals were given a solemn duty on the evening of April 19th. They treated the person of Dzokhar Tsarnaev knowing full well what he may have done. We are supposed to separate the person from the deed. The deed may be evil, but the person always has dignity. As St. John Chrysostom writes:

What is it that is about to be created, that enjoys such honor? It is man—that great and wonderful living creature, more precious in the eyes of God than all other creatures! For him the heavens and the earth, the sea and all the rest of creation exist. God attached so much importance to his salvation that he did not spare his own Son for the sake of man. Nor does he ever cease to work, trying every possible means, until he has raised man up to himself and made him sit at his right hand.

And as St. Catherine of Siena agrees:

What made you establish man in so great a dignity? Certainly the incalculable love by which you have looked on your creature in yourself! You are taken with love for her; for by love indeed you created her, by love you have given her a being capable of tasting your eternal Good.

The trauma nurses at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center should be proud of their work. They knew first hand what pain the bombings had caused, yet they still went in to work to treat the suspected bomber. They did the near impossible; They followed Jesus’ commandment of love.

With wedding season upon us, what I really want to talk to you about is a lot less fun than lace or tulle and the right neckline. I want to talk to you about slavery. The UN estimates that 2.5 million people are enslaved around the world today, and the FBI estimates 15,000-18,000 men, women, and children are trafficked into the US every year—that doesn’t include the slaves already here or those US citizens tricked, threatened, abused, or simply kidnapped into slavery each year. An awful lot of those people are funneled into sex trafficking, a $31.6 billion industry. I’m going to assume neither you nor your fiancé are complicit in the sex-trafficking business. If you are, go to Confession and then call the national anti-human trafficking hotline (888-3737-888) to report yourself. You sinner.

The kind of slavery most of us good Christian folk participate in is the kind you can’t see. It’s eating the food plucked and packed by slaves. It’s wearing the clothes made by slaves. It’s enjoying a nice bargain massage-and-manicure package, pampered by slaves. Two of the biggest offenders in modern day slavery? Restaurants and the fashion industry.

Now, my guess is that even if you don’t usually spend hours primping each day, you want to look gorgeous on your wedding day. My question is, do you really want to look down at your beautiful beaded bodice when you arrive at the altar and think, “Those sequined flowers are lovely, I wonder if they were put there by a terrified slave child?” Not the most romantic thought.

But aside from romance, why should you care? It’s not like you personally keep a child locked in the closet and fed on bread and water once a week to tailor your clothes (if you do, Confession and call the hotline above). You haven’t enslaved anybody. You aren’t guilty. Whoever stands over the slaves with a gun, or locks them in their barracks at night, that’s who is guilty. You know what that person, the one with the gun or the key, tells herself every night? She whispers to herself, “It’s not me who’s guilty, this is just my job. It’s my boss who demands this stuff be made super inexpensively. It’s those creeps who buy this stuff.” And the boss says, “I don’t care how this beauteous lace-and-silk gown is made, but it has to be cheap, otherwise I can’t sell it.” The slave herself says, “I must keep working or they’ll hurt my family, they’ll hurt me,” or she simply says, “Why?”

Let’s be clear: Everyone except the slave is guilty in this situation, the guard for enforcing slave labor (by wielding gun and key), the boss for requiring it (by demanding low-cost products), the consumer for supporting it (by desiring/purchasing low cost products). Remind you of another story? God says to Adam, “Why did you sin?” Adam says, “Eve did it!” Eve says, “The snake did it!” The snake is the guard, Eve is the boss, Adam is the consumer. Another term for “Original Sin” is Adam’s Sin. The consumer, the one at the end of the line, bears responsibility for modern day slavery. That’s not to say the consumer is the only guilty party, or even the most guilty party, but she is assuredly guilty.

So how do you ensure The Dress isn’t hand embroidered by slave labor? It’s actually not that difficult. Major wedding dress retailors in the US often have ethical sourcing policies like this one at David’s Bridal. You really have to watch out for slavery-sourced labor in online shops and little boutiques where the dresses you’re viewing are priced way lower than what you’ve seen elsewhere. Ask the manager where they source their dresses—if they’re not able to tell you exactly, don’t trust the store. Legit fashion designers are very proud of where and how their gowns are produced. If you’re budget-strapped, go green and shop resale boutiques like Goodwill or this little gem in Wilmington, DE; you’ll help out the local economy by generating cash flow amongst your neighbors, reuse clothes that already exist, and best of all glide down the aisle in vintage glam.

If you’re not quite ready for your own wedding dress, or if you’ve already worn one, you might check out this fantastic site dedicated to stopping human trafficking one fashionista at a time: Stop Traffick Fashion.

Under God’s Wing,
~Siobhan Benitez~

1.  Angelus and Regina Caeli

Catholics have had a long tradition of sanctifying the day through prayer.   In years gone past, and at some churches still today, church bells toll at six, noon, and six, encouraging those in ear shot to nod their head in prayer.  They pray the Angelus during the seasons of Advent, Christmas, Lent, and Ordinary Time; and the Regina Caeli during the Easter Season.  These two beautiful prayers encourage us to call to mind the incarnation and heavenly realities during our day to day work.  Also, you do not have to pray them as six, noon, and six.  If it is difficult for you to do so, consider praying the Angelus or Regina Caeli at meal times.

2.  The Hail Mary

This seems rather simple, right?  Oftentimes when a special intention comes up, a person might pray the Hail Mary.  There are devotions where people pray a specific number of Hail Marys for a particular intention.  In some books, it is recommended to pray three Hail Marys upon rising for purity.  One lady, that I had the fortune of knowing, always prayed three Hail Marys to find a parking spot.  In the rosary, we pray three Hail Marys for an increase in the theological virtues of faith, hope, and charity.   And in the confessional, the priest may ask you to pray three Hail Marys for your penance.  For one reason or another, it seems that the devotion of praying three Hail Marys is quite popular!

3.  Our Lady, Undoer of Knots

 With Pope Francis’ election, it has been touted that his favorite Marian devotion is to Our Lady, Undoer of Knots.  The devotion was inspired by St. Irenaeus who said, “Eve, by her disobedience, tied the knot of disgrace for the human race; whereas Mary, by her obedience, undid it.”  Today people have many knots in their life, be it finances or family problems.  The devotion asks Mary to untie these knots.  There is a little novena booklet to Our Lady, Undoer of Knots.  It is available online here.  Or you can buy the novena booklet here.

4.  Litany of Loreto

The Litany of Loreto, also known as the Litany of the Blessed Virgin Mary, hails Mary under many different titles.  The litany invokes Mary under her role as Mother, Virgin, and Queen, in addition to other titles (like Mystical Rose, etc.).  Some people add the Litany of Loreto to the rosary during the month of May or October.  While praying the litany one of Mary’s many titles maybe become a favorite, helping to foster a devotion to Mary under that title.

5.  Novenas

 Catholics like to pray novenas leading up to a liturgical feast.  One could pray a novena in anticipation of the Assumption, Nativity of Mary, or the Immaculate Conception, among others.

6.  Marian Lectio

The Church has provided us with “A Collection of Marian Masses.”  This collection contains special Masses that could be celebrated in honor of Our Lady’s many titles and roles.  The prayers and readings are contained in a special Missal and Lectionary.  Located in the back of the lectionary are a listing of all the readings by book, chapter, and verses.  The list is available here.  All the readings have some sort of Marian connotation.  Someone could take these passages and reflect on them one by one through Marian lectio.  I have found that lectio divina is a real, personal, and relational way of praying with scripture.  Much insight about Mary and one’s own life can be gleaned from praying with Marian scripture passages.

 7.  Serenatas- Hymns to Mary

I spent eight weeks in Guatemala during the summer of 2012.  I resided at a Benedictine monastery in a city called Quetzaltenango.  The priory at the time operated a high school seminary.  Some students lived in a separate dormitory while others commuted to the school.  Every so often I would join the students for their daily Marian devotions.  Some days they prayed the rosary, while on other days they sang hymns to Mary.

The most popular form of this devotion occurs during the vigil of Our Lady of Guadalupe in the form of Las Mañanitas.  There are many songs that can be sung in honor of Mary.  For example., the Church provides us with seasonal antiphons (e.g. Alma Redemptoris, Ave Regina Caelorum, etc.) that are sung at the close of Compline each night.  And what’s to stop a person or group from singing the many Marian songs of the tradition (e.g. Immaculate Mary, On this Day, Mother Fairest, etc.)  Singing songs to Mary, that is serenading the Madonna, is another form of Marian devotion.

8.  Other Traditional Marian Prayers and Devotions

There are other traditional Marian prayers that people may be familiar with.  The Memorare and the Sub Tuum Praesidium come to mind.  To learn these prayers, go here.

There are other devotions to Mary under different titles.  These include the Immaculate Heart, Sorrowful Heart, Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Our Lady of Good Success, among many others.  Some of these devotions are inspired by private revelation, so one should have recourse to the proper ecclesiastical authority.

9.  Marian Pilgrimage
No matter where you live, I am sure there is a Marian shrine in the surrounding area.  Typically these are devotional shrines to Mary under various titles and have become places of prayer and pilgrimage. In the Midwest I can name several: the National Basilica of Our Lady Help of Christians (Holy Hill), Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe (LaCrosse), Basilica of the Seven Sorrows (Chicago), etc.  In rare cases, like the Diocese of Green Bay, there is a shrine (Our Lady of Good Help) honoring an approved apparition of Mary.  There are many basilicas and shrines to Our Lady throughout the nation.  Find out if there is a place of Marian pilgrimage in your area and offer a prayer to the Madonna.

10.  Prayers of John Paul II

John Paul II was known for his Marian devotion.  At the conclusion of each encyclical, John Paul II invoked the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the form of a prayer.  One could compile these prayers from the encyclicals and pray with them in a lectio divina style.  Here are a few miscellaneous Marian prayers of John Paul II.   Some may find the following book helpful:  John Paul II: A Marian Treasury.

11.  Morning Consecration

Many Catholics were taught to begin their day through a morning offering.  These morning offerings often have a Marian overtone.  One such example is this prayer:  My Queen, my Mother, I give myself entirely to you, and to show my devotion to you I consecrate to you this day my eyes, my ears, my mouth, my heart, my whole body without reserve. Wherefore, good Mother, as I am your own, keep me and guard me as your property and possession. Amen.  In addition to morning consecrations, there are other short Marian consecratory prayers of the saints or from private revelation.

12.  Marian Consecration

Marian consecration has gained tremendous popularity in recent years.  The surge of interest can be attributed to the Marian devotion of Blessed John Paul II.  Fr. Michael Gaitley, MIC, has written a very accessible, down to earth, Marian consecration entitled 33 Days to Morning Glory.  Many parishes are implementing programs to facilitate conversation and community among those preparing to consecrate themselves to Jesus through Mary using Gaitley’s book.  The most popular form of Marian consecration was promoted by St. Louis de Montfort in his book True Devotion to Mary.  There are many other consecrations including the Militia Immaculata consecration and the Total Consecration to Jesus Through Mary for Families promoted by the Familyland Apostolate.

Conclusion

There are many ways to honor Mary besides the rosary.  While the rosary does have pride of place as a Marian devotion, I hope that these twelve other Marian devotions may be helpful to your spiritual life.  Maybe there are some you never even thought of.

We are beloved sons and daughters of God, and we have a mother in Mary and the Church.  As loyal sons and daughters, let us strive to honor her in many ways.  We can do this through many different Marian devotions, and for some, it might be as simple as bringing flowers to a statue of Mary, whether it is at your parish, in your home, or at a Marian shrine.  During the month of May, let Mamma Mary know you love her!

This article is the fourth in a series entitled “A Primer on Marian Devotion”

Why? Because of a schmancy thing called the “hermeneutic of the gift”. A key point in the Theology of the Body, this concept of “gift” teaches that since the entirety of the universe, everything from creation to marriage, exists singularly because of God’s sheer goodness and desire to give, then real life consists in participating in that “dimension of gift”, that economy of giving. Much like the laws of nature dictate that a two-minute bike ride with my boy will exhaust me and that OK Computer incites ecstasy in anyone who listens to it, the law of gift determines that the outcome of manipulation and lust is dis-satisfaction, and the outcome of sacrifice and deference will be redemptive satisfaction.

The created order, finding its pinnacle in humanity, lives, moves, and has its being fundamentally through the gift of God alone. No inherent merit demanded creation; it was not needed, it was given, not one string attached. You and I weren’t necessary, we were desired “for our own sake”. As a result, this gifted life thrives, is set ablaze, when it responds in like kind and, consequently, suffers when it grasps in selfishness. That is why no one truly finds beauty in greed, or no one but a few Rand-ians find virtue in selfishness, but most everyone finds beauty in the selflessness of Mother Teresa or the intense sacrifices made by a single parent. We find true, real life when we give of ourselves; and we find discontent and frustration when we take from the world.

It isn’t self-help or wishful thinking, either. Why does it feel rewarding to bring food to a soup kitchen, or even to give small pocket change to a beggar on the street? Some would say that it appeases the guilt that is heaped on us as a result of religion, but those of us who know Christ and live His religion know better (yes, I advocate religious organization, largely because I’ve seen the inside of my backpack and would never want the body of Christ to look like it). We know that there is intrinsic goodness in letting go of our time, treasure, and talent, even if it is only $.43, because the widow who gave her last $.02 was lauded by Jesus and “it is better to give than to receive”.

(The Widow’s Mite)

What cracks me up is that, though we agree there is a goodness, both in the act and the accompanying feelings, to giving to the poor or helping someone with their groceries, we don’t play it out logically. If it feels/is so good to do the small, random acts of kindness, why don’t more of us take the plunge and allow that “posture of giving”, to quote Rev. David Dale (Father-in-law), to be our everyday posture, our minute-by-minute mentality? Why not commit intentional acts of sacrifice as an all-encompassing lifestyle? Instead, most of us stop at the niceties, and even those fall by the wayside when the going gets tough. At least, that’s what is true in my life.

For instance, I have always had the unspoken policy of putting my shoes on the bottom of the rack so that my wife could put hers on the top and reach them easier. It has always been my personal, quiet way of preferring her to myself. However, at one point in our marriage when things had gotten quite tough for us and our relationship was upended, I subtly started placing my shoes on the top of the rack. Now, I don’t think she even noticed it, to be honest, but what it reflected about the state of my heart spoke volumes, and it took me noticing my minuscule moments of selfishness to show me where I was causing the harm in the relationship. The small act was an indicator of the general attitude of grasping I’d begun to hold, both toward my wife and the world. The shoes took an altitude plunge in a hurry, as well as placing my loofah on the back of the rack and my toothpaste in a harder-to-reach place than hers, for good measure.

Mind you, I know very well the hesitancy you might feel when facing the possibility of giving it all away. It’s daunting. After all, you just might find yourself exhausted due to the emotional chaos of the kids you adopted from a tough home and penniless for the same reason. You could end up homeless as you move from one missionary situation to the next. All this and more awaits those who decide to attempt to live gift with each breath, but, I can assure you that real, vibrant, exciting, miraculous life set on fire awaits, as well.

In the book of Judges, we meet a man of insignificant background named Gideon who was asked by God to do the impossible.  When he responded with doubt and claims of ineptitude, God’s response was, “Go fight with the strength you have. I am the one who is sending you. I will be with you.” We are strong, good, and able because of Who gives us strength and goodness, Who sends us and goes with us. We can give everything because we’ve first received everything from the Giver of all good things.

Keep in mind, we don’t have to quantify our success, we just have to live the law of gift, the rest is inconsequential. Just give, dangit! One of my favorite songs of all time, both for the content and the fact that it’s the perfect running tempo for me, is Needtobreathe’s Nothing Left To Lose. One line states, “Love is just like a war you can’t win. You can give, you can give, you can give.” In the dimension of gift, if you give, you’ve won, even if you lose. In the closing minute of the song, Bear Rinehart sings, “When there’s nothing that you can’t afford to sacrifice, there’s no way they can put out your fire.” Whether you see success or not, by living gift, you can let go of fear of the outcome, join with The Killers, and sing, ”From the summit’s edge to the cutting room floor, I will be afraid no more.”

Ladies and Gents, we were made to live lives of transcendent  inexplicable gift, keeping the loosest of holds on that which everyone else holds dear. Each of us had our life simply gifted to us, and we find peace when we give the reins, and ourselves, to God. As soon as we do, we find ourselves able to readily give everything else to others, including, but not limited to, the winning position in a Facebook brawl, adequate sleep, and your preferred iPod playlist.

So, let us stop taking and grasping, and begin giving and receiving. Let us cease taking communion and begin receiving the Eucharist. Let us put our shoes, loofahs, and toothbrushes at the back. Let us make sure each word is a gift to others, not a dagger, knowing that “life and death is in the tongue” (Prov 18:21). May we let the coins of each area of our lives trickle through our fingers with gladness. Let us empty ourselves for all, breathe our life into all, and bleed out for all.

I’d start with the shoes.

The other evening an episode of M*A*S*H came on. Now that’s a great show.  Here’s why I like it.

Evil as its Own Character

M*A*S*H takes place in a mobile military hospital within the backdrop of the Korean War.  The characters deal with death and war in every episode. What this does is free up the writers of the show so that they don’t have to make an one of the main characters the bad guy. Yes, there are selfish characters like Major Winchester and neurotic doctors like Frank Burns, but neither one of those characters has to play the role of evil. Relative to the war going on, you can still see that these medical doctors are doing good and that there is good to be found in everybody, except for maybe an occasional nameless Korean soldier or the unstoppable momentum of U.S. military bureaucracy.

Fr. Mulcahy

Here is probably the only example of a priest, as a regular character on a TV series, shown in a positive light. Father Francis Mulcahy, played by William Christopher, is the hospital chaplain who is respected by the other characters for his humility and faithful works among all of the horrors of war.

Can you think of one character on a contemporary TV show who is Christian and put in a positive light? I think it would be the smartest thing any TV producer could do today. There would be a huge built-in fan base breathing a sigh of relief that the entire entertainment industry isn’t the evil I mentioned above.

Sparing Use of the Laugh Track

Do you hate the television laugh track as much as I do? It is an insidious device that makes people think they should be laughing, even when something is not funny. There is a social element to laughing that the TV laugh track abuses, deadening any sense of subtlety or real listening by the audience. Try watching an episode of Two and a Half Men, Friends, or Seinfeld asking yourself, “Was that really funny? Why the canned laughter? Or are they trying to persuade me to laugh at the lazy bad writing? ” Sometimes more than 50% of the 30-minute show is fake laughter.

Some newer shows, like The Office, don’t use the laugh track at all, but they substitute the same effect visually by cutting to a character’s sarcastic or dumbfounded look.

M*A*S*H does use the laugh track during some of the comedic scenes, but it is not throughout the whole show. According to Wikipedia:

“Series creators Larry Gelbart and Gene Reynolds wanted M*A*S*H broadcast without a laugh track (“Just like the actual Korean War”, Gelbart remarked dryly), but CBS rejected the idea. By season two, a compromise had been reached, whereby the producers were allowed to omit the laugh track during operating room scenes if they wished.”

The compromise worked out well. Since there is so much contrast between this  humorous scenes and the scenes that deal with life and death in this “dramedy,” helping the audience along to tell them it is OK to laugh seems appropriate.

Are There Any Shows You Think Are Better?

I challenge you to name one in the comments section below along with your reasoning.

Waiting on four pepperoni HARs (hot and readys) to be…well…ready (Little Ceasar’s was back-logged) I moseyed over to the bar next door to find a bar bathroom. I found and entered a small closet with two urinals and a stall and an older gentleman followed close behind and grabbed a urinal before I did.

Now I have to tell you that the events that transpired were not normal Edmund-Bathroom Protocol. Normally in a two-urinal-one-occupied situation I choose the stall.I take the high road. I take one for the team.

I normally go with the stall to give the urinal man some peace of mind and free flowage. Its an act of charity. A humanitarian endeavor. Have some courtesy. No man wants to stand inches away from a stranger who is also urinating.

But today was different. Today I felt sassy.

Plus the stall looked dirty and gross.

So I went with the urinal right next to him. And the most amazing thing happened. Staring at a wall full of ads, a bar calendar, business cards, and other pleasantries, the guy broke the tension: “Boy, April sure has flown by fast.”

He was right. April had flown by fast.

Caught off guard by his candor and insightful observation, and noticing that I could practically taste the beer he’d been drinking, I went into talking-with-intoxicated-strangers mode. I love talking to intoxicated strangers. Okay let me clarify. This guy was about two beers away from swimming, so he was not really drunk-drunk. A better description would be “I love everyone in this bar and want to talk to everyone because I’m happy” intoxicated.

Let me tell you, for those few golden moments while relieving ourselves, we chatted up a STORM. Your Church rosary making group had nothing on us that day. I mean we were REALLY communicating on a deeply personal level. Chuckles were had. Heartfelt questions were asked. Comradery abounded. No eye contact though. That’d be weird.

As we parted ways, I couldn’t help feeling that my life was just a smidge better than before I entered the bar. Instead of entering a crowded room full of people and pretending all of them were as real as Manti Te’o’s girlfriend, I actually existed in a personal way in a room full of crowded people. Okay, in the bathroom next to a room full of crowded people.

Jefferey Kahn argues that beer gave us civilization because of its ability to put us all on the same social “playing field” by lowering our inhibitions. Which made me realize, a lot of the greatest Saints went through life sans inhibitions. In fact, the first Christians were  mistaken for 4 a.m. Waffle House customers. (Look up Acts 2:13, I’m loosely paraphrasing sort of.)

Which made me THEN realize, all Saints are just drunk people!

Think about it. What made St. John Chrysostom call out the Emperor’s wife publicly? Lack of inhibition. What caused St. Nicholas to think it was perfectly okay to slap the ever-living heresy out of Arius? Lack of inhibition. What made St. Francis Xavier travel door to door in a foreign land telling thousands of natives that they should make hamburgers instead of worshiping cows? Lack of inhibition. It goes on an on.

Its like Jesus is saying “Let them come to me, for the kingdom belongs to such drunks as these.”

But it makes you wonder, what if we chose to act that way all the time? What if we chose to not have social inhibitions? (You weird extroverts that act this way on a regular basis can stop reading, this is for the rest of us. We can still be friends. Lower your voice. Yes, you can tell that one story again.)

In an increasingly technological society (how often have you heard THAT paragraph opener…) where we are more virtually connected than ever, we are also more physically disconnected than ever. When it comes to human interaction, inhibitions abound. Why am I more comfortable tweeting to thousands of strangers about my son pooping an uncomfortable amount, but I am super uncomfortable talking to strangers who say “Hey” comfortably?

Drunk people LOVE social interaction. They love talking to people they just met about anything. Some guy in a bar asked me what fancy store I got my jacket from. I told him Goodwill. He then proceeded to tell me all the articles of clothing he was wearing from Goodwill as well. Now THAT’S some social interaction for you people. We were the Goodwill crew from then on up in that place. We were companions.

Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa devotes a whole book to this drunkeness thing, echoing Pope Paul VI who echoed St. Ambrose during a world congress of charismatic renewal in 1975: “Let us drink the sober intoxication of the Spirit with joy!”

“Prudence is the virtue that disposes practical reason to discern our true good in every circumstance and to choose the right means of achieving it” says the Catechism. And if our conscience is that desire to do good and avoid evil, shouldn’t it make sense that the devil would have a sort of anti-virtue to fight our conscience? An impulse that tells us to avoid the good?

You are right, being drunk is a sin. We are talking here about a sober intoxication. I’m being metaphorical and incendiary. I’m feeling sassy. But there is obviously some connection between what happens to a drunk person and what happens to a person filled with the Holy Spirit and consumed with love of Christ. Otherwise St. Ambrose is just being silly. This intoxication we are talking about knows no restraint from pursuing the good, it knows only wild reckless love. St. Paul tells us to be a fool for Christ in 1 Corinthians 4:10 for goodness sakes.

I hope this rant has taught you a few key life principles.

1) In a two-urinal-one-occupied situation, go for the free urinal. No one goes for the free urinal. You may be delightfully surprised. Or scarred for life. Who knows!

2) Talk to people! Be outgoing and friendly and if people get weirded out, just tell them you are sloshed, or soberly intoxicated, or in love with Jesus Christ. Whatever.

3) Stop avoiding human interaction. In an increasingly privatized, digitized, secularized world, human interaction is a saving antidote. People who drink beer know this well. Why do more people go to bars and drink over priced cocktails when they could be at home drinking the same thing at a fraction of the cost? Its not the peanuts. Its the human interaction. Bars are a refuge for the lonely. Being drunk is an excuse to know people and be known by people. So get out there and start giving people some attention!

4) The next time you feel some inhibition sneaking up in your skull, ask the Holy Spirit if this is your conscience trying to warn you to avoid evil, or if this is your weak flesh trying to tell you to stay comfortable, soft, and warm.

Stay soberly intoxicated, my friends.

I noticed the other day that you were listening with rapt attention to the girls at the pool as they talked about boys.  I saw you scoot a little closer when they spoke of their boyfriends and kissing.  You didn’t say a word.  You didn’t have to.  I saw your eyes.I know that they are fascinating, that the things they are discussing are completely foreign to you, and yet you want so badly to know more.  They were talking about dating as if it were the most normal thing in the world for them.  It was like a foreign language to someone whose friends aren’t allowed boyfriends or dating.  Those sweet home-schooled girls you hang out with get mushy over the idea of holding hands with a boy, but never have.  These girls have gone much further than that and they are younger than you.  I know that your innocence makes you feel like a baby in these conversations.  I know it because I was that girl once.

I have seen the way you look at the boy who lives across the creek.  I think you have good taste.  He’s a good guy.  I know that those experienced younger girls tease you about him and ask if you’ve kissed him.  I know that even though you believe in courting instead of dating, there’s a part of you that really wants to know what it is to kiss a boy. I can see in your face the longing to know what they know, and you’re beginning to wonder for the first time if your father and I aren’t setting an impossibly high standard for you.

I get that married people telling a teenager to be chaste is a little like a skinny girl telling you that those size 2 jeans could be yours if only you gave up sugar and carbs as she munches on a chunk of cheesecake. It’s easy for us to say because we don’t have to live what we are asking of you.  I know it sounds that way, my dear, but you are wrong.  We do have to live that way. We know exactly how much we are asking of you because we have to live it ourselves.

We have discussed birth control and all of the reasons it is wrong.  You can look around our house and see that we don’t contracept.  Seven babies in 16 years makes that pretty apparent.  Have you ever thought about what happens when it may not be a good time for babies?  Like right now. Your sister is sick with the double whammy of a chronic illness and an horrific accident. We are exhausted from the care of her, and money has gotten scary tight.  While your dad and I are always thrilled with new people, this would be spectacularly bad timing for adding anyone new to our family.  We would, of course, love anyone God sent to us, but this moment is a really rough one.  So what do we do?

You and I are kind of in the same boat, sister.  It is not a good time for either of us to be having a baby.  What does this have to do with kissing?  Kissing has a purpose.  It is the beginning of the path that starts the fire that ends 9 months later in the delivery room.  Your dad and I know this, so we don’t even go on that path.  We have learned that once it’s started, you can’t ever quite put that fire out.  When you and your siblings go to bed, we sit up and talk, watch TV, futz about on the computer, or watch movies.  We have to practice the same self-control we expect from you.  Only, my cute boy doesn’t live on the other side of the neighborhood creek, he lives in the same house, and sleeps next to me in the same bed.  (And I’m not talking about the peck I give him to say good-bye or hello.  There’s  kissing and kissing, but you knew that.) Self-control and self-denial are hard to learn and even more difficult to practice.  Your dad and I are still working at it.  These things can take a lifetime to learn.

When you get to the place in your life where babies would be a blessing and not a burden, you will be so glad to be able to discover all of these things in a context of joy without tinges of guilt or fear.  It is not always easy to live correctly in a world that doesn’t.  Prayer, determination and someone to talk to can help you do it (or not do it ….) Just know that if you need to talk, I am here, and I do know how hard it is, because right now, I’m living it, too.