Ijustwannateach

Cruising the gay online community in Thailand. Guide to make more out of the internet.

2009-07-16T04:57:00.000-07:00

ZombieBlondies link list with comments.

Somehow, I cannot build sub pages here and the list with it's comments will become too long to be placed in the side row. Temporary solution – put it in into a blog entry.

Not all of us are strictly Rice Queens. Bangkok, Pattaya, Chiang Mai, Phuket - a large community of expat gay residents and regular visitors. A very international community with a broad diversity of cultural backgrounds. You can meet them online at various places in the internet.
There are the well known places, where you can put up your profile, announce your likes and dislikes, your fetish, what you are looking for and what you are willing to give. Some profiles there are so detailed, that I know more about my future date, than I know about myself. You put your wish list in the search engine and contact the boys the machine had found. That kind of match making is boring, there is no space for surprise left. You will even know his man meat size, shape and cut grade before hand. No chance for a WOW effect, only when the sissy messed up inch and cm, but 50/50 can that be also a disappointment.
These 'traditional' online cruising places take the chilli out of the curry, the meal becomes fads, providing you with a calculated carb and protein ration. A culinary treat like in a state hospital.
Second, no obligations for a gay to sign up there. Many will not, for the reasons above , bad experiences in the past or because this way isn’t part of their lifestyle, he is shy, he is a troll, in the process of coming out, still in the closet , thinks ‘good’ gay boys don’t go there and he is a good boy and so on and so on. Maybe your future dates never thought about it to met other partners in the internet, are not net savvy enough, have a poor developed gaydar, but that all can change in the moment you start flirting with him.
Cruising only in special zones and areas limits opportunities. You should cruise all over the local web.
The intention and idea behind the link list is to scale and mapping how gay is the online neighbourhood. Be a guide and provide orientation. Build up a profiles of certain gay clusters, rate them, point out what you can expect there, in what mood the crowd swings to what music they step there, what are the advantages and disadvantages, suggest special strategies to strike successful there.

thaivisa.com/terrarium
A zoo for mature, old-fashioned queers, old gay white men. Thailand’s leading GWM portal, a massively multiplayer online role-playing game (MMORPG) in which participants can play different characters of gay stereotypes. Clerk, nurse, biker, "teacher", beach boy, SEO master, farmer, policeman, pilot, linguist, woman - your choice. Only the novice gamer talking about Thai wife from good family. The other closeted mullets respect the rule, do not talk bad about the alternative lifestyle. No homophobia, we are a brotherhood and bitching about woman the first step out of the closet.
If you don't have a photo of a sick soi dog, some furfag or yiffi image will do for the use as avatar. Keep your role simple and infantile, don't forget it is only a game. But once you are banned you can never come back. If you are going to impersonate a fem, please check with brother sbk before, if your ideas of the woman role go confirm with his concepts how a 'real woman' should be.

teakdoor.com
The other queer portal, youngsters. YGWB, young gay white boys. Skater boys and skater punks If you think slapstick is funny, go there. The members are banned ~~trolls~~ ~~heros~~ ~~dissidents~~ YGWB's from the real queer gay portal. In RL, these kind of people listen to loud music after 10:30 pm, have to borrow a tie from you when they show up monday morning in the office, one hour too late. Young people. If you are not sure about your own male gender identity, teakdoor is a good place that the western LGBT community in thailand has to offer. The Trick to blend with the rough crowd over there is a wisely chosen avatar. Go to Google. image, search for E/F/G or J カップアイドル巨乳I was informed that straight wapanese fapping to this, somekind the japanese translation of Shotacon for non queers. Select a random pic and use it as your avatar. You win. Now you will never ever get banned on this board, because you stay in stealth mode and are invisible for the other gay male boys, members and mods in the club behind the teakdoor.

thaigirl2004.blogspot.com
Andrew Hicks, a geriatric bloke, trolls lonely closeted illiterati with no sex life at all. They think a book, a manual, could help them to understand women. He makes profit out of our clueless brother. Good, let them spoil their money elsewhere before they ruin the good prices at our buyers market. Have a look at his blog to see how sissy queer the heteros are.
Btw.the writer himself has nothing to do with lady boys or LGBT or so, impersonate women - for Brits straight as a fag.

later more, work in progress

Poor boy from Chile, loved Madonna so much he decided to become her.

2009-07-15T06:09:00.001-07:00

maltastar.com has the full story

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Figueroa, 28, became obsessed with Madonna from the first moment he heard her music on his parents’ crackling radio in Santiago, the Daily Mail reported.

“Madonna was so naughty, so sexy and unorthodox she broke the rules and I wanted to know everything about her”, said the guy.

Now Elias is a gay look alike and earns $12,000 a year as a Man-donna impersonator, three times the national salary in Chile, and the equivalent of around £50,000 in the UK.

...

Episcopal Church ends gay bishops ban - Washington Times

2009-07-15T05:28:00.001-07:00

Episcopal Church ends gay bishops ban - Washington Times

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Support for gay marriage lukewarm | SeacoastOnline.com

2009-07-15T05:23:00.001-07:00

Support for gay marriage lukewarm | SeacoastOnline.com

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Female Impersonators + Thailands leading GWM Portal + Author of Letters to the Editor = Internet Drama

2009-07-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

It's complicated but interesting to follow how the different tag teams, factions and i-egos of the Thai related internet world have currently a go at each other.
Check for yourself.

Andrew Drummond, an investigative freelancer on lady boy scams in Pattaya, got a problem with thaivisa, or better the thaivisa basement dwellers.

(Btw. that wasn’t the first time, A.D. complaining about thaivisa.com is a long and never-ending story. The history behind involved some expat resident in the north of Thailand, But this is not the topic now. The senile old hand in question, a ’78 Peace Corps veteran, is actually innocent clueless what this could be about and more or less an internet illiterate and DGAF.)

In the current issue, A. D. published a blog entry that comments on thaivisa are disgusting. Somebody else, open a new topic on thaivisa, focussed on that upbraid, but the backlink get deleted and the topic quickly closed.

Hey! That is the way how we handle the thing on thaivisa, just take a look at the impressive list of ~~nearly 6000~~ over 9000 banned members. There is a lot of workload behind, an outsider cannot imagine.

I feel little bit sorry for A. D. most of his hokum, got recycled on thaivisa and is welcome as content. Even his loony letters to the editor at The Nation get repeated. Usually he writes exactly that, what the SEO mullets and the other trucker want to read at thaivisa. However, he does not understand how it works in our forum. Bitching about mods is a No No, rule number whatever. You have to suck men meat or running at least a fan blog, that how it goes.

Anyway kudos to him for providing entertainment.

Meanwhile the queers and DD-cup female impersonators at teakdoor having a field day. Lame attempts to mock a tough furry like endure or subboard Mod like me. Those are mostly the trolls from the thaivisa banned member list. Trying to sneak trough the backdoor so often, failed and want to make a drama out of it.

p.s. In an other forum i was the vitim of a sucessful troll attack. later more.

Teenage boy sucked into pool pump

2009-07-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

"A 14-year-old schoolboy from the Isle of Man has died while on holiday in Thailand after being sucked into a swimming pool pumping system.
It is thought Nathan Clark Griffiths opened a vent at the bottom of the pool in an attempt to retrieve his goggles.
The incident happened in the resort of Pattaya, east of the capital Bangkok. He was holidaying with his father, brother, stepbrother and stepmother. "
...
The teenager's mother Marion Griffiths, 40 and his 10-year-old sister Naomi live in Douglas in the Isle of Man.
...
"He had been sucked into the pipe and when they open it in the pump room a lot of water and Nathan were there.
"Jimmy got him out and tried to give him mouth-to-mouth. "

BBC gives us a 101 lesson how to generate traffic and click rate with wisely choosen Buzz Words. STRIKE!

Man has caught swine flu in a Gay Sauna in Bangkok, Massage and Karaoke Parlours closing

2009-07-12T18:49:00.000-07:00

The Nation, an English-language Thai newspaper, with the latest reports on new influenza cases in thailand.

"The National Culture Commission is asking some 10,000 karaoke parlours and 49,000 game shops nationwide to sanitise their equipment and not to allow children or young adults inside.

Secretary General Chaweerat Kasetsoontorn said she would like to see them close voluntarily for 15 days, especially if any staff or customers were found to have contracted type A (H1N1).

In Chiang Mai, a man said he came down with the disease after visiting a gay sauna in Bangkok, said Natee Teerarojjanapongs, presฌident of the Gay Political Group of Thailand.

He called on saunaowners to screen clients before allowing them in.

The sauna in question is located in the Pattanakarn Road area, and many clients were coughing, Natee quoted the unnamed man as saying.

He said there were about 60 saunas for gay men in Bangkok, two in Khon Kaen and three in Chiang Mai.

In Kamphaeng Phet yesterday, the provincial culture and publichealth offices inspected local karaoke parlours and urged them to keep their doors open during their offservice hours, for better ventilation.

They also asked them not to serve young adults or any clients exhibiting flu or cold symptoms."

How long it will take until massage parlours, gay saunas, gogo bars, the body to body contact places and other nightlife spots like discotheques are ordered to shut and close? Tourist places like Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket with no bars open?:

THE BIG FAT GAY COLLAB! Youtube against Gay Discrimination

2009-07-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

the queers at youtube post their answers on the internet hate.
this video want to cheer up the victims of gay hate.

Gay Bangalore, Free Spirit and Support, Decriminalization of homosexuality in New Dehli

2009-07-11T10:43:00.000-07:00

It is now legal, but only in the capital, New Delhi. Still a great step. Blogger activist Omi has the full story.
A great first step and a happy joyful day for our indian gay brothers and the lesbian sisters too.
Hope hat matters for one six of the worldwide LGBT community. Amazing!

FrogBlog - Thaidings: Thaivisa: Founder of Thailand's largest online community answers the critics

2009-07-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

FrogBlog - Thaidings: Thaivisa: Founder of Thailand's largest online community answers the critics

George in Interview.
SEOpotence, pie charts, figures, statistics, empirical data, click click rates, pie charts! I love pie charts. Camp, but lovely!

5555, read that!:

"G: Yes, it does concern both me and the moderating team but we have to strike a balance between allowing people their opinions and racist and denigrating language. We do our best. At times we fail, and at times we succeed. ...
(Moderators) are usually regular members who have shown a history of intelligent and informative, non-aggressive posts, but they are almost always recommended by the moderating team, and it is a group decision to bring them into the team."

We Super Moderators have around 6000 members banned! Balance between allowed opinions (opinions? 555555) and denigrating language (who would do this?) at best! Check for yourself. Mods have shown a history of intelligent and informative posts.
Ta!
Pie charts!

I was in a long and heated argument with a dislikeable, cranky type who had the 'rose-coloured lenses' thing going on.

2009-07-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

I was in a long and heated argument with a dislikeable, cranky type who had the 'rose-coloured lenses' thing going on.
That sad stalker is now playing a troll game on me. Two days ago he hacked my Thaivisa account and sent messages around, lying. He also opened several new topics, crossposting the same false statements all over the board. But that is all deleted now.
My friends, so sorry for the disturbance.

FYI. I have no other Blog.

2009-07-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

Just to let my friends here know: I have no other blog, and I no longer post on any other sites with a different name. There seems to be some kind of sad impersonator out there.

The Flu Is Here, And I'm A Victim

2009-07-05T01:44:00.000-07:00

Lots of coughing and sneezing around Bangkok these days. Last night I woke up with a horrible headache, fever, and runny nose- I was barely strong enough to get out of bed. I've taken off work today and am recovering little-by-little. Any suggestions for making recovery as smooth as possible? This is a bad time of year to be sick.

Thai culture of Denial - the Reality

2009-06-26T02:37:00.000-07:00

I think the Thais have a culture of denial. It is not simply hypocrisy or two-facedness, which is common in many countries- if there is some negative attribute which they wish to hide, they seem compelled not only to cover it up but to STRONGLY, VOCALLY deny it. This goes for so-called "Thai values" as well as individual character. For example, [I tried to put these on the same lines in a parallel fashion but this darn editor keeps deleting the formatting spaces I put in!]

THAI VALUES:
Thais are sexually conservative.
Thais are socially conservative.
Thais are calm and cool.

REALITIES:
Everone screws like rabbits.
Everyone has affairs.
Thais have terribly emotional storms.

PERSONAL STATEMENTS
I don't have many dates.
I don't go there.
I'm not materialistic.
Up to you!
I don't tell you lies!

REALITIES
I'm a slut.
It's my favorite place.
Show me the money!
I want it my way!
I'm a pathological liar!

Time after time, when I examine what my Thai friends/acquaintances take so much trouble to deny, I find the truth by reversing their denials. It's a technique I recommend, somewhat cynically.

"Steven"

Understanding Your Thai Bf/Gf - The dishonesty thing seems endemic to Thailand

2009-05-25T00:33:00.000-07:00

I've been living here for a few years, and I was a tourist previously. It's a whole different ball game living and working here, and you learn a lot- some things you might not really want to know.

The age difference is not by itself an issue- because a lot of the guys here are REALLY looking for someone older (I've been told several times I'm too young!) But it does mean that personality, expectations, etc. are different. And if you expect anyone under 25 in Thailand to be monogamous you're just fooling yourself.

The dishonesty thing seems endemic to Thailand- I'm not afraid to say it. They don't LOOK at it as lying, and there are a lot of "cultural coping mechanisms" to disguise it from themselves as lying, but basically, it's lying. The best ones will merely try hard to avoid expressing things they'd rather not express, and if you read between the lines to see what they're saying and don't pressure them to lose face, you can get the information you want without upsetting anyone.

For example, I started dating a guy recently and I almost immediately realized there was a financial problem- the guy had more money than he should have for his occupation/age. I approached it somewhat indirectly (after I saw he had the compaq portable computer!) and told him there were some things I would have to know about him if we were going to get serious, and did he mind if we discussed them- and he replied that it would be better if we didn't talk about those things- which gave me my answer and avoided any direct embarrassment. We're still friends and still date, but I don't let myself get too serious with him, and I'm grateful for his relative "honesty."

I've heard some amazing stories here, though, and there are both real stinkers and real angels out there.

"Steven"

Discrimination of Fat People

2009-04-17T18:55:00.000-07:00

Something I find offensive to a great degree on Internet forums about Thailand and in writing on Thailand in general is this continuing reference to the fatness of _insert_group_to_be_insulted_here_. Usually comments are made in the genre of "it's disgusting how those fat Germans/queers/old men/farang women hang out with those young, slim, cutey beauties," etc., etc.

I find these comments hypocritical, immature, and ignorant to a high degree, assuming a number of contradictory things about the [fat-hating] speaker's position in Thailand and the position of the overweight visitor/resident in Thailand. I think these comments are also more insensitive among gay men, who have to worry about their appearance a lot more typically than straight men.

Assumption #1: FAT PEOPLE ARE UNDESIRABLE COMPARED TO THE SPEAKER

Contradictory to the assumptions of many immature individuals, larger (and older) persons are desired by a number of young men not only in Asia but also other countries of the world. There are whole bars devoted to this pursuit in the main cities of Japan [not to mention about half of the gay mags], and any larger person who's lived in Asia any length of time will have his admirers (often more than he can peacefully cope with!) Personally speaking, I've dated guys in every country I've ever lived in who had appreciation for, let us say, a man with something to him. I wouldn't have it any other way- I won't date guys I'm not sure are attracted to me (a good way to tell: check out his movie collection or porn, if any- lots of big guys? You know he's for real- one of the last guys I dated would go to any John Goodman movie that came out).

So, not only is the fat person NOT undesirable to this larg-ish group of chubby-chasing people, but they wouldn't give a second look to some skinny, middle-sized pretender.

Assumption #2: FAT PEOPLE MUST BE PAYING- HOW ELSE COULD THEY GET ANY?

Having demonstrated that we DO have a bit of a market, I hope it's obvious how this assumption is wrong. However, it displays a bit of additional arrogance and hubris on the part of the speaker- who seems to think that his being slender means he WON'T pay for sex- a common mistake on the part of those without much experience here. "I'm such a handsum handsum man that even the hookers won't charge me." This may happen- but very, very rarely.

I got very angry reading Cleo Odzer's book about prostitution in Patpong, for instance, because she seemed to imply that something was so "wrong" about the relative differential in beauty [judged by her] between the tourists and bargirls she saw, while she was engaged in the very same types of behavior [but it was "ok," because she was slim, blond and "beautiful."]

Assumption #3: FAT PEOPLE ARE INHERENTLY UNDESIRABLE AND THEREFORE DISGUSTING

Not to lots of folks! However, this is the feeling that comes through many posts referring to the weight of people. Aside from lacking the simple maturity of the realization that "there's someone for everyone" [and thank god for that], this is offensive and wrong. I think it comes from being hypnotized by Hollywood's message about what people should "look like" in movies and commercials. Ever noticed how the people Thai folks think are attractive (the "types" in movies that get repeated over and over) don't match with the kind of Thais that farang like? Ever wonder about how this might work in reverse? If not, perhaps you need a bit of deprogramming from Hollywood.

Anyway, just a starting point for discussion, and if nothing else, perhaps I'll have given some folks a reason to think twice before using "fat" as a generically negative classification.

Disclaimer: I'm a pretty big guy- tall, and I definitely qualify as fat, though I'm still fit enough to jog for half an hour or cycle a fair distance. Have always been, no matter how much exercise I did or how I tried to control my diet. I don't have trouble fitting into Thai chairs, but I'd never be able to fit into Thai clothes!

Frankly, my ex-bf always wished I was much bigger!

"Steven"

Filipinos are even more emotional and unrestrained than Thais

2009-04-04T09:23:00.000-07:00

I've known a number of Filipino gays and had a Filipino bf for a few years. There are MANY, MANY gays there- I'd say it's on the same order of frequency as in Thailand if not more. The Catholic repression is there, as Cathy says, but it doesn't seem to stop 'em.

In the big cities, the gay subculture is (fairly) obvious to those who are looking... in the smaller towns, there aren't any gay bars or locations, but it's not hard to tell if someone's interested in you, and just as in Thailand, they're not going to start a fight if there's a misunderstanding.
Personality-wise, I'd say that Filipinos are even more emotional and unrestrained than Thais (compared, of course, to Americans). Filipino guys are generally very warm and emotionally open, but also jealous and moody at times.

Physically, Filipino men are stockier and broader-built than Thais, on average.

Of course, these are all generalities, but what more can you do when speaking of entire populations?

If you want more info, feel free to ask more specific questions.

"Steven"

Living with a Thai Boy - My Experience

2009-04-03T02:19:00.000-07:00

The first big crack in the relationship was Valentine's Day. He gave me some big lie about how he had to spend the evening with his friends because he'd already promised some time back (really? like over three months when we became boyfriends?) he'd have dinner with them. I wasn't buying it- 'cause I knew how important these romantic holidays are to the Thais, even the Western ones.

He DID come by in the morning and give me a nice framed photo of himself and some flowers, but it wasn't enough- I wanted his presence- and in the evening (which I spent alone at home in my apartment, far outside the Bangkok city limits) I couldn't reach him on his cellphone- it mysteriously malfunctioned [he later claimed battery failure] which it had a tendency to do when convenient for him.

Speaking of the mobile phones, they evolved considerably while I was dating him. He started off with a fairly expensive-looking Nokia model with a color screen and a slightly musical tone. Suddenly, one day he showed up with one of the top-of-the-line Panasonic phones (the big console-looking ones with built-in camera that can even do E-banking for you securely). How did he get the money (probably about 20,000B) for this? "I have a friend working at a store so I got a discount." Wrong answer!

To make matters worse, during this period he ALSO picked up a portable CD player to the tune of 10,000B including fancy rechargeable battery system, and fancy 3000B headphones. Finally, he LOST the expensive phone (left it in a cab)! So he got yet ANOTHER phone, to the tune of 8000K. Just one month later his friend broke that one, and he showed up with yet ANOTHER phone (with built-in camera again) that probably cost about 8000K.

As if all that weren't fishy enough, I noticed the following expenses, which he made no effort to hide from me:

1-2000B a month sent home to mother
500B a month life insurance policy (payable to mother)
Shares in TWO apartments running about 4-5000B a month
Expensive habits, like riding in taxis and eating out, seeing movies in theatres with his friends, drinking at bars (where he kept bottles in his name), etc.
Frequent purchase of trendy clothes and accessories- seemed for awhile like every day he had something new from MBK.

After a bit of calculation, I finally figured that he was spending over 50-60K a month during the time that I knew him (more than my salary!!!) And yet he was an unemployed student.... right.

Eventually, even my friends noticed that he was too rich to be telling the truth. Even the nice Thai man who introduced us told me he thought something was wrong- probably that O. was getting income from other farang. I knew I couldn't let things go on like this.

Why not? some may ask. Why not live in style on the money of a fairly well-off kept boy boyfriend who costs me little/nothing and even buys things for me? Why rock the boat?

The reason is O's first change in my life- I was truly, deeply falling in love with him, more so than I had ever been with any other partner. How was I going to feel if Mr. Moneybags from Switzerland showed up one day demanding that my cutie run off with him for years or forever? Emotionally, this was a losing proposition, and I had to find the truth or give him up.

"Steven"

I don't pay for the Thai Bf's Thai Wife and the Thai Bf's ThaiBf

2009-04-03T00:43:00.000-07:00

One of the saddest types of stories I've heard from my friends here is about the couple which consisted of:

the farang
and his gay Thai boyfriend
and the Thai boyfriend's Thai wife
and the Thai boyfriend's Thai boyfriend

all living in the house which Jack built (but the boyfriend owns).

I tell every new boyfriend candidate (after a suitable period of time) this story, and emphasize to them that *I* will not be in the role of that farang. So far, the one guy who became my "official" boyfriend for awhile (my ex) didn't believe me [eventually found out he had 2 or 3 other farang plus maybe a Thai bf and one or two Thai girlfriends, too]. I added him to the story of what I don't put up with in serious boyfriends, for the benefit of future candidates. Remains to be seen if any of these candidates will understand I am serious from the start!!!

"Steven"

How To Avoid Questionable Characters While Dating Gay Guys In Thailand

2009-03-30T04:39:00.000-07:00

How To Avoid Questionable Characters While Dating Gay Guys In Thailand

A Mostly Common Sense Approach

Meeting People

1. Stay out of the gogo bars.
This one should be pretty obvious. It's not impossible that you might meet a "real" boyfriend in a gogo bar, but it might as well be.

2. Stay out of Soi 4; oh heck, stay away from Silom/Suriwong/Patpong entirely.
Once again, why screw up your odds? Yes, there are some nice/real people going to Silom and so forth, including of course you, my gentle reader- but really....

3. Stay out of gay bars in general.
Excluding present company, I'm afraid that simply being in a gay bar in Thailand is unusual and rare for many real gay guys- they don't have the time or the money, or they want to avoid stigma.

4. Do not use Internet chat rooms or personals sites.
There are far too many butterflies, MBs, "students," "kept" types, and crazies on these sites to make them good places for finding a "real" candidate.

5. Do not consider people you meet in saunas or parks serious candidates.
Another obvious one. People don't go to saunas and parks looking for serious connections with others.

6. Do not consider students serious candidates.
Even though they're cute, even though they're young, even though they're horny and they love you- they're just not worth the trouble. No money, uncertain future, and difficult to track.

7. Do not consider the unemployed serious candidates.
Another obvious one. Anyone who is unemployed in Thailand needs a good explanation of how they manage to stay alive (or at least how they did before you started taking care of them). Why add to the list of troubles for yourself?

8. DO keep your eyes open in public for those who looking at you with interest.
There are many very friendly and lovely gay guys all around who will readily indicate interest in you. Yes, even you, with your pot belly and grandfatherly look- that's what some of them like. Learn to notice and respond to these signals- look around when you're on the train, on the street (except Silom), in malls, at grocery stores.

9. DO chat and be friendly with attractive people who are obviously already working.
Some Thais are quite shy. If they are cute and seem gay, why not try to take the initiative? And if they're working somewhere that you're shopping or have business, you have a perfect excuse for the interaction- and you know they have a job.

10. DO ask your Thai friends to introduce you to nice people.
You *do* have Thai friends, right? Get them to help you out- but in this case, beware of your responsibility. You don't want your friend to lose face if you turn out to be a jerk.

11. DO make Thai friends.
This is sort of a prerequisite to number 10. Not all gays that you contact will be interested in you that way- and you can only have one boyfriend, anyway. Keep some of the rest as friends.

12. DO go to gay-attractive events such as film events, art exhibitions, and the performing arts.
Another place to find like-minded people with enough money and leisure for taste.

13. DO try to meet Thai university teachers/workers (not students).
This solves the education/job/intelligence side of the equation from the start.

14. DO consider Thai-Chinese partners if you can.
While not to everyone's taste, and bringing along with them certain stereotypical weaknesses, all signs point to their being among the best choice for stable relationships between foreigners and Thai nationals.

"Steven"

Me: "R., why are you washing dishes?"

2009-02-21T01:41:00.000-08:00

One evening I was visiting a lovely older British friend of mine for his birthday party. He had a new Thai bf at the time. As the party wound down and everyone left, it became obvious it was time for cleanup- and my friend started cleaning up the place.

Me: "R., why are you washing dishes?"
R.: "You know, that's a very good question."
Me: "Sit down."

At which point *I* started cleaning up the place. It was another 10 minutes or so before I think R.'s bf realized that he shouldn't have been letting R. do the work, and he rushed over and took *my* place at dishwashing. I don't know if that's any clear sign or not of how things stand in a relationship, but soon afterwards the two of them broke up.

Let's see... in Thailand there are moneyboys and there are moneyboys.

2009-01-09T08:24:00.000-08:00

Let's see... in Thailand there are moneyboys and there are moneyboys.

The moneyboy signs are fairly easy:

1. Wildly expensive clothes, accessories (mobile!), a shoe fetish, on no visible means of support or something poorly paid (like waiter).
2. Not rich, but speaks excellent English
3. Not rich, but speaks of foreign trips
4. Asks you to pay the tab not only for him but also a cluster of other similarly attired young men who disappear after the meal's finished/the club's opened.
5. Asks for "taxi money" home [esp. 200-300B] when a bus would do

But there's another category of "kept boys" which are trickier. These kept boys are lucky enough to find a number of rich foreign tourists who are attractive enough to them as partners to keep on a rotating basis- they may have half a dozen or so or more on a string, and visit them as they have their vacations. They get LOADS of money from these guys, too, as each foolishly believes himself to be the only one.

Now, the tricky part happens when THESE guys want a REAL boyfriend- they won't need money- they won't ask for money- they'll probably even pay for you, pick up the tab, anything!

Sounds like heaven until they have to go on a sudden "trip" for a few WEEKS, or aren't there on Valentine's day for no special reason, or mysteriously disappear because Daddy Moneybags has summoned them to Switzerland.

How do you know if you're dating a "kept boy?"
1. No visible means of support, but obviously has money- sends money home, has own apt., mb accessories, stereo, TV, the works
2. Will often claim to be "in the closet" and use this as an excuse not to be seen with you where/when it may compromise him, like the usual normal gay bars
3. Often absent on short/long trips "to the country," but you're not allowed to meet the family (see #2).
4. Gets angry or evasive when you finally start to raise the issue of where the money comes from

How do I know these things? Been there, done that!

Good luck....
[I'm only a LITTLE bitter!]

"Steven"

Well, an excellent gay farang blog.

2008-12-10T23:57:00.000-08:00

My Thai diary/boyfriend

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Well,an excellent gay farang blog. I find it worth reading myself, though I don't always agree with the writer's point of view (which is probably natural). If nothing else, he has definitely chosen a different path than most foreign expats in Bangkok and that makes him interesting.

Mugging By Blind Date Pretender

2008-12-05T07:17:00.000-08:00

A good friend of mine was recently held up at gunpoint at an apartment building on upper Sukhumvit when he went to meet someone who was a supposed date. The "date" had contacted him through a Gaydar profile. When my friend, who was a tourist, arrived and went to the "date"'s room, another man was waiting with him. They drew a gun, cuffed my friend, and went through his wallet, removing the cash and credit cards. Then they brought my friend out to the main road, gave him 100B and told him to get in a taxi quietly.

My friend contacted the Thai police immediately and filed a complaint, and went back with them to the apartment building but the room was empty and the manager had no idea about who the two men were or how to contact them. My friend was also less than impressed with the attitude of the police.

Of course, my friend was a little unwise in arranging a first meeting with a stranger in a private place, and in bringing any unnecessary valuables to that meeting. It only goes to show that there are reasons for taking precautions over the internet; thank goodness he wasn't hurt. Let this be a warning to the rest of us- be careful and use common sense out there.

"Steven"

Loving Thai Boy, so cute in his college uniform

2008-11-11T00:54:00.000-08:00

I made my first false break with B. around Songkran, when it became clear to me that he was lying about his income and unwilling, no matter how softly, softly I tried to convince him to talk to me about his life, to tell me the truth. A week or so later of calls every day crying and begging for me to reconsider, I told him that he would have to get a normal (i.e., non-bar-related) job where I could go and see him working if he wanted to keep dating me (incidentally, I recommend this for all those who have potentially dodgy partners).

He was reluctant, but agreed to do so without a time frame. Internally, I was giving him about 3 months before I would unilaterally give up on him completely. Of course, this affected our relationship negatively in almost every area. We were having more arguments and he was more moody.

However, he seemed to step up to bat. He had employment photos and copies of his high school papers made, and frequently went off to interview wearing his college uniform. He had his heart set on a job with Major Cineplex, because he loves movies, but he only made it to the second interview with them- he thinks he was not "cute" enough by their standards [it's true that most of the gay guys working there are more fem than B.; maybe that's what he meant].

At the same time, other areas of my life improved and I moved to a more convenient place in town- so convenient, in fact, that B. was over every other day. And then every day- and then he was keeping clothes in my closet. By midsummer [in the western sense] he was practically living with me, though still paying rent in his other room. The job hunting had virtually stopped, however, and I was steeling myself to leave him because it seemed to be only a matter of time. I dreaded it, though, because in one sense it was a dream fulfilled- a lovely, attractive guy living with me who loved me and genuinely found me attractive [his picture collection is full of images of men like me] and who, even though for fishy reasons, wasn't asking me to support his life.

I've seen what happens, however, when farang fail to set reasonable limits on their boundaries and what they'll put up with from their Thai partners. You wind up with the farang who has a Thai boyfriend who is married with kids, and also has a Thai boyfriend. All living together (sometimes without the farang!) in the house the farang bought, built, and paid for. I was not going to be that farang.

Fortunately, rather than leave me dithering and wondering whether to follow through with the ultimatum on the basis of no more evidence than just because, B. finally gave me every reason to dump him.

To be continued!

"Steven"