Ikthos

Redemption

2018-06-18T12:51:00.004-07:00

On May 19, 2018, at 7a.m. PST, I watched along with the rest of the world, what was one of the most historic and meaningful events of the 21st century. The royal wedding of Prince Harry and the former Megan Markle. I celebrated with the royal family and more specifically, with African American women, an event that I don’t think any of us ever thought we would see – “one of us” wed an actual prince and become an accepted and celebrated member of the royal family of Great Britain and the Duchess of Sussex.

As I write this, I realize that women everywhere celebrated this event and for varied reasons. Working, modern women love Megan because she’s “one of us.” A hard-working, middle-class girl who made a name for herself on her own BEFORE she married a prince.

She is also a member of a unique sisterhood as a graduate of Immaculate Heart High School, a Catholic, all-girls High School in the Los Feliz neighborhood of Los Angeles, California. Catholic school girls, everywhere (past and present), celebrated along with Megan that again, “one of us” made good. I celebrated along with my sisters in Christ of Immaculate Heart (I’m a graduate of St. Bernard’s High School, class of 1985), as they came out to virtually attend Megan and Harry's wedding early that Saturday morning in their sweats and fascinators. They inspired me to create my own fascinator in a spirit of solidarity.

I have always been a fan of Prince Harry and Megan Markle’s romance but to be honest, it took a couple of weeks and a few conversations for the full force of their union, and everything it took for their union to manifest, to settle in for me. Their love story is more than just the story of a “commoner” marrying royalty or that of an interracial couple. Their union and specifically Megan Markle, is the culmination of almost five hundred years of history, spanning 3 continents. It redeems the contentious history of three groups – African slaves, the English and their involvement in the slave trade and Americans, black and white. Their love story and marriage is really the story of the redemptive love of Jesus Christ.

John Hawkins was the first Englishman to engage in the slave trade when he left England in 1562 on the first of three voyages, for the sole purpose of acquiring human chattel.

From 1640 until 1807, England was a global leader in the sale of African slaves, the demand for which was fueled by the rise of sugar as a very lucrative, labor-intensive crop in the Americas. According to the British National Archives, “England, along with Portugal, became two of the most ‘successful’ slave trading countries, accounting for more than 70% of all African slaves in the Americas… an estimated 3.1 million Africans.”

Abolitionist in England were finally successful in ending the trade with the Abolition of Slave Trade Act in 1807, which stopped the trading of slaves on British vessels. This act was eventually passed due in part to the powerful oratory and dogged determination of William Wilberforce and the moral authority and personal testimony of John Newton.

John Newton had a unique understanding of the horrific conditions caused by the slave trade. Newton had been “pressed-ganged” or forced into service by the British Royal Navy and then traded to a slave ship, ultimately becoming captain of a vessel that trafficked slaves. One night while trying to save his ship during a violent storm, Newton had a conversion experience. He came to the conclusion that he was utterly helpless in this situation and that “only the grace of God could save him.”

Ultimately, Newton, with the help of God, was able to bring his vessel safely home. Based on that experience and many others, Newton gave his life to Christ and became an Anglican priest. Today, he is probably best known for penning the lyrics to the hymn “Amazing Grace” – where he speaks of the redemptive love of Jesus Christ that could “save a wretch” like him.

The new Duchess of Sussex is the descendant of African slaves, many of whom were brought to this country on British slave ships. According to the DailyMail.com, Megan Markle’s great, great, great grandmother, Mattie Turnipseed, was born in Jonesboro, Georgia around the time of the American Civil War. Her 5th great grandfather, Joseph Betts, a “colored” farmer, was born in Madison, Alabama in 1820 and fought for the Union in the Civil War.

Since the 1800s, both England and the United States have inched closer to reconciling the way we treat our fellow man to the words of Jesus Christ and His mandate to “Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind … and to Love thy neighbor as thyself.” [Matt. 22:37, 39 KJV]

In the United States, there has been an ebb and flow to this progression. We moved toward Christ's mandate with the Emancipation Proclamation, 13th, 14th and 15th Amendments and the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which freed the slaves and prohibited discrimination based on race, color, sex, religion or national origin respectively. However, we have almost always moved away from Christ's mandate immediately after, falling back into old cultural norms that at odds with the teachings of Jesus, as we did with Jim Crow laws in the south after the Civil War and the current racial hostility we see today in this country. The United States has truly struggled with living up to the Golden Rule, but England seems to have embraced it.

I'm not saying that England has been perfect at this, but they have made a steady a progression in the right direction. They ended slavery, first in England and then in their colonies, more than twenty years before the American Civil War, and it didn't take a war to do it. And although there still are class distinctions in England today (and that is improving), race isn't nearly as big of an issue there as it is here in the United States.

Having visited England twice, wandering the streets of London (and getting lost most of the time) I found Anglo Londoners to be very helpful and didn't feel that being African American was in anyway a negative. Unfortunately, I can't say that about Chicago or Los Angeles, cities that I've lived in here in the United States.

So when I watched Megan Markle, accompanied by her mother, arrive in a horse-drawn carriage at St. Georges Chapel at Windsor Castle, and be walked down the aisle by Prince Charles, to become the lawful wedded wife of Prince Harry before God, England, and all the world, I was overwhelmed with joy and in awe of the power and faithfulness of God move the on behave of his people, to move the hearts of minds of kings. To raise up the lowly and to repair the breach, when we humble ourselves before Him.

I rejoiced as I virtually attended their wedding, not just for Megan, but also for Sally Hemmings, who was the Thomas Jefferson's sister in law but because she was biracial and a slave, could never be Jefferson's lawful wife, even though she bore him five children and he never married another woman. I rejoiced for all of the women who are the descendants of those brought over during the slave trade, who were the mothers and lovers of Anglo men, who could not be publicly or lawfully recognized as such because of the color of their skin and the evil hearts of men. And I rejoiced with the royal family, who over the years, have continually humbled themselves before God, making corrections when necessary, and agreed to receive and be made new, by the redemptive the Love of Jesus Christ.

What Is Sacred?

2017-06-06T11:37:00.001-07:00

After attending a memorial service for someone I used to work with, I was feeling the weight of mortality. I listened to people telling stories about this person... how they had impacted their lives... some funny... some touching... and began to think about life in general, and how fragile it is. No one was expecting this person's passing two years earlier. They went from being the epitome of vigor and deteriorated quickly. And there was nothing anyone could do about it. Watching the process... listening to how this person was memorialized, I felt the need to reflect... alone... on the meaning of life and to draw close to God.

I drove to a little coffee shop in Los Feliz (that's in California for those of you who don't know), sat down and began reading a book by Richard Rohr called, “What The Mystics Know: Seven Paths to Your Deeper Self”, because reading Richard Rohr has a way of calming my soul. I read Immortal Diamond at exactly the right time in my life and it confirmed so many things for me. It was an absolute gift from God. But this time, when I got to page five of “What the Mystics Know” I was struck by one word that stopped me cold, and I have not gotten past that one word since. It has taken me on a quest, to see if I really understand that word, if we as a society understand that word, and how our collective understanding of that word has changed over time... and how it's changing now.

The word in Rohr's book was “holy”, which I quickly looked up and the first word I found used to define holy was “sacred” and that's the word I have been investigating. I chose “sacred” because it seems to be more readily accessible to the religious and the non-religious. We use the phrase “Is there nothing sacred?” in common speech to express a feeling of violation... that something was touched that should not have been. That a thing or person or institution has been altered in a way that is not “good”, that it has been defiled.

As a recovering Catholic (honestly, I don't think I'll ever recover completely, and there are days when I'm kinda happy about that) and former choir girl, I have a fair understanding of things that are “holy” or “sacred”. I come from a church with sacraments, which are sacred rites in the Roman Catholic Church. The Eucharist is sacred, the monstrance used to hold the Eucharist is sacred. The Altar is sacred. And the way all of those things are handled is important. There is a way to behave when you're on the altar. For a long time in the Roman Catholic Church, there was a short fence or railing the kept the common parishioner off the altar. They could kneel and pray there, but they couldn't come onto the altar unless summoned by the priest. In some of the older churches, this railing is still there. That's just how sacred the altar was.

As a choir girl at the age of 9, I knew how to behave (and that I had to) on the altar. Our girl's choir was seated on the right side of the altar, not in the choir loft, (that was for the boy's choir). I would watch how carefully the priest and the altar boys (there were no altar girls back then) handled Holy Communion. How purposeful every move was... and being on the altar, I had a really good vantage point to see.

When I left the Roman Catholic Church and joined a spirit-filled, charismatic, non-denominational church, my definition of “sacred” was altered and expanded. The altar was still handled with care, but it, and everything and everyone on it was alive... and lively! The minister sang and jumped and danced and shouted, as did the rest of the congregation, and all of this was sacred. People wailed, sometimes in gratitude, sometimes in pain, as they brought their hearts to the altar to be restored by the Great Physician... to lay their burdens down at Christ's feet... to give their hearts to God... to ask Jesus into their hearts to be their Lord and Savior.

I learned that Christ was alive and interested in the minutiae of my life... that He numbered every hair on my head [Matt. 10:30] and saved every tear I've ever cried. [Psalms 56:8]. Even the crosses were different. In the Roman Catholic Church, at the center of the altar, there was a crucifix... Jesus is still on the cross and the focus is on Christ's suffering, his sacrifice for us. In my new church, there was an empty cross at the center of the altar. Christ has risen! He has transcended the cross, that instrument of torture, the place where he paid for our sins... He has conquered death and hell. He is our resurrected Lord! He is victorious and His suffering was so that we might have victory as well... those of us who believe! This is the Good News of the gospel and that news was and is very sacred to me.

For the first time as a believer, I had hope, not just for the life hereafter, but for life here. I learned that Jesus is alive and well, and willing and able to work and move in my life and in my heart here and now! That weeping may endure for a night... as in dark night of the soul... but joy does come in the morning! [Psalms 30:5] No longer a suffering soul, but victorious in Christ, the risen Lord. And it was this knowledge that caused me to ultimately leave my career in television, and work in ministry for seven years.

Now that I have discussed my understanding of the word, “sacred”, I want to look at the place of the sacred in society. Do we, in the 21^st century still find anything sacred anymore? I think a lot of people are asking this question and I decided to ask a number of people that question myself. I started with the baristas in that coffee shop in Los Feliz and here's what they said...

COFFEE SHOP INTERVIEWS

Both the man and the woman at the coffee shop touched on an important aspect of what sacred means, that we... people... designate what is as sacred. That whatever people call sacred, actually becomes sacred and the woman takes it a step further by saying that the human spirit is intrinsically sacred, meaning that it's "sacredness" exists without the need for human designation. I completely agree, although we arrive at this conclusion coming from very different places.

Neither the man nor the woman at the coffee shop are believers, yet they seem to know intuitively what some churches and nations have periodically forgotten... that we as individuals and as a society have both the right and the responsibility to designate what is sacred and I believe we should take that duty very seriously, in part because of what the woman said... the human spirit is intrinsically sacred.

In John 1:4 & 1:9 Jesus is referred to as both life and light and we are told that this light illuminates everyone that comes into the world... and that includes the non-believer. I believe that this light is our human spirit. It is what God breathed into Adams' nostrils [Genesis 2:7] and because it is "God-breathed", it is self-existent and therefore it is sacred. I believe also that is why what we designate as sacred, becomes sacred... because the breath of God in us declares it so.

In March of this year, I attended a panel discussion at St. John's Cathedral, an Episcopal church here in Los Angeles, sponsored by the Guibord Center. It was called, "Beyond the Veil: Life After Death" and in addition to some of the mainline Christian dominations being there, some of the major, Non-Christian faith traditions were represented there as well.

I was able to speak with four of the Non-Christian panelists pictured above. Swami Sarvadevananda of the Vedanta Society of Southern California, Nirinjan Singh Khalsa, Executive Director of the California Sikh Council and a cultural intelligence educator and advisor to the Department of Justice, Imam Dr. Ahmed Soboh, Religious Director of the Chino Valley Islamic Center and Rabbi Neil Comess-Daniels from Temple Beth Shir Shalom.

Swami Sarvadevananda's answer to my question, "how do you define sacred?" was very short but to the point, Swami Savadevananda Interview. Noringin Singh Khalsa's answer was longer and more complex, and it actually echoed what the baristas mentioned. That anything could be sacred... Niringin Singh Khalsa Interview]. Imam Dr. Ahmed Soboh had this to say, from the Islamic perspective... Imam Dr. Ahmed Soboh Interview . Rabbi Neil Comess-Daniels said... Rabbi Neil Comess-Daniels Interview. What I found most interesting in Rabbi Comess-Daniel's answer is that everything in creation is waiting to be made sacred. This was something that I hadn't heard before and really resonated with me.

For the traditional Christian perspective, I decided to ask the senior minister at my current church, Dr. R. Scott Colglazier at First Congregational Church of Los Angeles. Dr. R. Scott Colglazier Interview.

Dr. Colglazier's primary focus is on three aspects of the sacred, time places and ritual, however, what resonated most with me was his statement that almost anything can be made sacred when viewed in the right way. This confirmed what Rabbi Comess-Daniels said, that everything in creation is waiting to be made sacred. By the way, I visited the Cathedral of Our Lady of The Angels in downtown Los Angels after our talk and personally, I didn't find it cold, but solemn. The edifice itself wasn't what moved me, but the way light flooded the space did, and that's what made the space feel sacred to me... as if God Himself was illuminating it. The building was merely the backdrop for the His Light.

After speaking with Dr. Colglazier, I decided to present this question about the sacred to a coworker of mine, Dave Suchanek. Dave is a Millenial, that much talked-about, ever nebulous demographic that, according to Bloomberg and the U.S. Census, is quickly becoming the largest voting block in our country. As I, a Gen Xer, gets older, this group is going to have a greater say in what is deemed sacrosanct in our society. Dave and I have had a few conversations about faith and politics and although we don't always agree, we do however find points of agreement, so I thought getting his perspective for this would be useful. Dave Suchanek Interview

Dave believes that there are certain things that in the depths of our souls, everyone knows are sacred. He believes that everyone knows on some level that human life is sacred. I wish he were right about that, but with recent events in Paris, London and Manchester, not to mention the atrocities committed throughout history, I don't believe he is. I wish I could say that religion is the perfect way to cause people to know that life is sacred, but we all know that religion has been, and for some, remains the reason for taking human life... that religion has been the vehicle for many of the atrocities committed throughout history, but religion is not God. It is merely man's flawed attempt to access the divine.

Several people that I interviewed for this post have stated that anything can be sacred... that we have the power to make times, places and rituals sacred... that the human spirit is sacred... that life is sacred... and that all of this "sacredness" can exist, divorced from religion, which implies it can exist divorced from God, but I don't think so.

Maybe our concept of God is just too small, especially for those of us in religious communities. We get caught up in doctrine and dogma and religious tradition and our church culture and forget that God is bigger than all of that. I'm not saying that religion is bad in and of itself, it isn't however, it is only as good as the people who practice it. It is our imperfect attempt (which accounts for all the wrong that's been done in the name of religion) to access God... to experience His presence... to please him... to keep ourselves "in" with God. It is not God. I believe we have to be willing to look past our own religious background, our narrow view, and open ourselves up to new ways of experiencing the sacred.

A few weeks ago, I decided to take myself out to dinner. I hadn't had a night out in quite a while and I decided to go all out... dinner and dessert at a nice restaurant... live music... the whole works. This practice for me is sacred. It's "me" time... a time to feel relaxed and pampered, however, my evening did not go as planned. The dinner wasn't that great. The live music wasn't great either and I decided to leave the restaurant early because I just wasn't comfortable... I didn't even stay for dessert. As I walked out of the restaurant, I decided to walk down the street to Cafe Figaro, a little French bistro in Los Feliz, CA, for coffee and dessert to try and salvage the rest of my evening. At least I knew the dessert would be good. Seated at my table, waiting for my waiter to come back and thinking about how disappointing my evening had been, I looked across the room and recognize someone I hadn't seen in a very long time.

Victor Hugo Zayas is an Artist... a sculptor, painter, and art educator, who I met in, of all places, South Los Angeles, an area not known for its trendy arts scene. I lived there my last two years of college and worked there with my mother, who founded a church there in an area called, Hyde Park, a high crime, under served community... the stereotypical "South Central L.A." community you hear about in rap songs. When either I or my mother wanted to take a breather (a mental health day we called it) and escape the stresses of the ministry and that environment, we always had to go out of the community... the Marina, the Westside... because there was no place safe or attractive in the community to do that. So you can imagine my shock and joy when I stumbled upon Victor Hugo Zayas and his cafe in the L.A. Design Center on Western Ave. between Slauson and Gage, in the heart of South Central Los Angeles. It was like finding water in the desert. I could get a bite to eat, a good cup of coffee, read and study in a creative, stimulating environment and he even had a little library! Art everywhere... paintings, sculptures, drawings hanging from the ceiling! And he taught classes! He even had live music there some nights. And all this within walking distance of where I was living, and believe me, in "the hood", that is rare.

I hadn't seen Victor in over ten years, but we had kept in touch through social media. I facebook messaged him, we waved and he came over to my table and we greeted each other as old friends. As we were catching up, I realized that I hadn't talked to an artist yet, and it would be great to get his thoughts on what he finds sacred, and for him, it's art... Victor Hugo Zayas Interview.

Victor's idea that intuition and self-exploration are sacred, and that he could achieve the sacred through art was profound and I completely agree. One of the reasons I love art and earned a degree in Visual Communication is because I've always been able to access a deeper part of me through art. It's one of the reasons I find painting, especially abstract painting challenging, sometimes bring me to the point of tears, because it allows me to tap into what is real in me... my truth... and God is the Spirit of Truth. It allows God to speak to me, through me, paint and canvas, and ultimately brings me closer to Him because paint doesn't lie. Art doesn't allow me to hide truths from myself... what I'm really feeling... and forces me to articulate my feelings visually and really look at them and gives me the opportunity to bring them, and my heart before God in truth. I find the process engaging, emotional, exhausting and incredibly fulfilling, especially when I produce something that I like.

My chat with Victor ultimately brought me back to what Rabbi Neil Comess-Daniels said, that everything in creation is waiting to be made sacred... every thought... every action... every deed... waiting to be made sacred by us... by God in us.

A conversation on art and faith with Artist, Teresa Hill

2016-12-31T13:18:00.001-08:00

I had the pleasure of meeting artist, Teresa Hill at "Alimento", an art show held at my current church, First Congregational Church of Los Angeles. I was immediately drawn to one of her paintings, "St. Ty",

a portrait of a "beatified" man holding an open pomegranate with bees buzzing around it.

The painting held my attention because as a former Catholic, the light around his head and face, his upward gaze and the use of color... the reds and oranges and yellows... and the use of light and dark, reminded me of Renaissance paintings of saints. This figure, "St. Ty" seemed to be in contemplation, which caused me to contemplate him... what was his story? What was he contemplating? He was wearing a red hoodie, set in modern times. Why was he being portrayed as a saint? And what was the significance of the pomegranate and the bees? What was the artist trying to say?

I stood in front of this painting for a long time, wrestling with what I didn't know and had no way to find out because there were NO ARTIST NOTES!!! (a pet peeve of mine) and in absolute frustration, I finally walked away. But I kept catching a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye because I was drawn to the rich colors... I loved the use of light and shadow... so warm and inviting to me.

So as I'm turning away, trying to distract myself from this painting, a woman and her daughter walked up to me and started a conversation. It's Teresa Hill, the artist who created the painting that so drew and perplexed me. When I found out who she was, the first words out of my mouth were, "You're pomegranate guy! Ok, so what's the deal with pomegranate guy!"

As we talked, I found out that "St. Ty" is actually a portrait of her ex-husband, who used to be an animator for a well-known studio here in Los Angeles, and this is how she saw him... somewhat other-worldly, with a gift (the pomegranate). However, there was also the ideas of both pollination (life) and danger that surrounded him and his gift (his artistry) represented by the bees.

I found our conversation really enlightening and so enjoyable, not to mention the fact that it relieved my frustration over her painting, that I told her about Ikthos, and asked to do an interview with her and graciously she agreed.

On December 19th, one week before Christmas, Teresa and I met at Copa Vida, a coffee house in South Pasadena, California, to share coffee (for me, an elixir of life), conversation and thoughts on faith, her art and the meaning of life. The conversation that follows, most of which you will be able to hear below, was an hour and forty-three minutes long, which I've condensed to an hour and twenty-three minutes (sorry that was the best I could do. There's a lot of good stuff).

"The Whistling"

The Hatchling"

We spoke about her take on her Southern Baptist background, or what she calls her "point of awakening", her interpretation of scripture, which can be seen throughout her work, where her faith journey has taken her outside of the Southern Baptist tradition and her views on life in general. We discuss specifically, "The Whistling", "The Hatchling" and "Eve Revisited", a work currently in progress.

To my more traditional believers out there, I would ask that you listen to our conversation without judgment. Teresa has gone beyond most of our comfort zones, but the echoes of what we were taught are still there. I have to admit that I don't agree with all that she believes in, and that's perfectly ok. We respect each other enough to listen to each other, which I believe is much needed in the body of Christ today and I know I grew from our conversation, as I believe she did as well. We plan on speaking again.

I believe this is all a part of the journey Christ intended us to have as we each "run our own race". She is running her race and I am running mine and maybe by sharing our stories of lessons learned, we can assist one another. The body of Christ, "joint supplying joint."

Teresa Hill Interview

That City Upon A Hill...

2016-09-13T12:38:00.000-07:00

With all that has been happening in our country, the United States... the shootings in Dallas, the nationwide protests... the social tensions that plague us as a nation... I have felt the need to look back at what we are about as a nation. To return to its beginnings. To try and remember why we are here in the first place... why we exist as a nation. And that brings me back to what John Winthrop called us in A Model on Christian Charity. We are intended to be “That city upon a hill”, but are we? Have we really ever lived up to our calling?

When Winthrop used that phrase, he was referring to the gospel of Matthew. The full quote from Matthew 5:14-16 reads:

“Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven”.

It was Winthrop's prayer that this nation would be a beacon of light to the world. A place were people could come and hear the Good News. A place were people could practice their Christian faith freely, without persecution from the state. A place where the individual could be a self-made man (or woman), free from the rigid social constraints of class conscience Europe. A place where you could own land and the government couldn't confiscate or occupy it at will (hence the 3^rd amendment which came later). A place where all men could be free to live a quiet and peaceable life. This unfortunately is not the America we live in today.

This year, in the month of July alone, There were at least 5 black women killed in police custody and according to the website, “Mapping Police Violence.com, there were at least 102 unarmed African Americans killed in police violence in 2015. That's approximately 2 a week. I don't believe this is the America Winthrop envisioned and it certainly isn't the land of the free or the home of the brave where we can all live a “quite and peaceable life”. [1Timothy 2:2]

Now I will be the first to admit, that not all of our Founding Fathers were as progressive as the document they wrote, which states that “...all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. ” There were some that didn't believe that the Africans they enslaved were human at all, which is one of the reasons we had a three fifths compromise... a compromise which violated the spirit of our Constitution... a compromise which never should have been made and unfortunately, a compromise we are still feeling the repercussions of. In God's economy, no one is three fifths God's creation... or three fifths his son or daughter and Christ did not die for three fifths of a soul or three fifths of the people, but “God so loved the WORLD (all of it and everyone in it) that He gave his only begotten Son, so that whosoever that believes on Him shall not parish, but have everlasting life.” [John 3:16]

Now this is not the first time we as a nation, have had problems living up to our better selves. Unfortunately, it took a civil war to correct the error of the three fifths compromise. It took the civil rights movement to correct the error of Jim Crow and the real question is what will it take to right our course in the current dark night of our nation's soul? One good thing about all of the turmoil we are currently experiencing is that it is bringing the poison of racism (and hopefully all the other “isms”) to light, so that we can be, once and for all purged of it and the love of God shed abroad in our hearts, so that we can truly be that shining city on a hill Winthrop envisioned.

Seeking "Church"

2016-06-30T17:46:00.001-07:00

This past April, I celebrated my 49^th birthday. Not quite the big “50” but significant none the less and I wanted to do something special so I decided to take myself to London. It was my first trip abroad and I was really excited... excited for the adventure I was about to embark on... excited for seeing a new and different county, excited because I was traveling alone, something I love to do... to meander the streets finding new treasures... taking my time to take in the city.

One of my “must” stops was the Temple Church, which is the knight's Templar church that was featured in the DaVinci Code. I wanted to go there because I was looking for a connection to the early church... the first century church... because this church grew under such tremendously challenging circumstances. Crucifixion, being fed to the lions, mass murders and persecutions were par for the course for the early christian community. This is the reason the sign of the fish, the Ichthus, is used today to represent Christianity, because the ichthus was a sign used by persecuted believers to identify each other.

Drawing the sign of the fish in the dirt was a secret signal, known only to believers, that stood for Christ. It was a visual reference to Christ's miracles, Him multiplying two fish and five loaves, feeding five thousand [Jn. 6:10-13]... and then four thousand [Mark 8:1-9]... it was the only way for believers to safely reveal themselves to each other, and although I changed the spelling (someone else was using it) the ichthus, was the inspiration for this blog, “Ikthos”... a way for believers in The Way, believers in Christ, to identify one another and share their faith with one another in a safe space, where we can engage one another, nurture one another and truly be that “body fitly joined together, joint supplying joint” [Ephesians 4:16]

What I found among the effigies and stone and stain glass was a living church steeped in tradition. The majority of the service was sung, as the early church and even the Latin Roman Catholic mass was sung. The Temple Church was consecrated in honor of the Blessed Virgin Mary on February 10, 1185AD by Heraclius, Patriarch of Jerusalem and has existed continuously. The feeling of history was palpable, however, I believe the service I attended, was very different than the services attended by the early christian believer.

The early church during Roman oppression, met in private homes, catacombs and as Justin Martyr replies to his interrogator Rusticus, the Roman Prefect, “Wherever it is each one’s preference or opportunity....” ¹This was a church under seige... where being revealed as a member could get you put in prison, tortured, interrogated and ultimately killed... and yet it grew.

After Constantine “converted” (I'm not sure he converted to Christianity or if he converted Christianity for his own purposes), the reverse became true. If you didn't accept Christ, join the church (and at that time there was only one) and worship exactly as they said, you could be tortured and/or killed. If you dare have a difference of opinion or a unique experience that differed from what was taught to be the norm, you could literally loose your life. One would think we've come a long way... or have we?

There's much to be learned from the past. And although events and circumstances have changed our society... what we know and in many cases, what we as modern believers find important, the truth of the Gospel, the Good News, never really changes because people, the one constant throughout history, never change. We never loose the need to be loved, unconditionally. We have never and will never be perfect so we will always have a need to be perfected, and that is what the love of God, in the person of Christ Jesus does. He perfects that which concerns us. [Psalms 138:] In every way. In our body He heals, for he is the balm of Gilead. He gives sight to the blind and raises the dead. In our hearts, for he heals the brokenhearted and in our mind He frees us from fear by giving us the spirit of power and of love and of a sound mind” 2 Tim 1:7. And yet we have movements within modern Christendom, that want to make the church be more “seeker friendly” as if those who seek Christ today are really any different than those who sought Him when He walked the streets of Galilee. Zacchaeus, the short tax collector in Jericho who climbed the tree so he could see Jesus, didn't have any greater need to “see Jesus” than any other vertically challenged person would today, except Zacchaeus made the effort... he labored to “see”. And I don't believe Jesus responds to us today with any less graciousness or love than he did to Zacchaeus. If we make the effort, Jesus shows up, and He dines with us... he heals our hearts, stills our minds and nourishes our spirit... or at least that has been my experience.

Although, my visit to the Temple Church was special, something I'll remember, it was my experience at St. George's Chapel in Windsor Castle that moved me to tears. I was there the week after Easter, and there was a very simple, very large cross with a large crown of thorns draped over the top, hanging over the alter. It looked like it had been created with builder's lumber, not artistic or polished or “beautiful” by any modern aesthetic, but more beautiful than anything in either church because it represented the love... what Christ was willing to do for us... what God was willing to sacrifice for us... God's labor of love for us. There is no need to make our faith any more “seeker friendly” because Christ has sought us. The work to get us to God is done. It is finished.

____________

¹Christianity Today, “Where Did Christians Worship?” by Christopher Haas. Issue 37

http://www.christianitytoday.com/history/issues/issue-37/where-did-christians-worship.html

What It Means To Be "Royal"

2015-12-26T19:17:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone and Happy Holidays! I hope you had a blessed and merry Christmas and that you will have a blessed and prosperous new year!

Recently, I've had a couple of conversations on what it means to be “Royal”. Royalty has become a hot topic in modern culture. Prince William and Catherine, Dutchess of Cambridge, The recent wedding of Prince Carl Philip and Sofia Hellqvist and the recent royal nupitals in Monaco have gotten the whole world it seems, talking about royalty... what it means to be royal... the pomp and circumstance that comes with the title... the parties... the traveling... the state events... it seems the whole world is mesmerized by their glamorous lifestyle. Average, middle-class people are willing to go into great debt or go to great extremes to have a look of opulence, which they equate with being “royal”... to have a dress like Catherine or a hairstyle like Sofia or your pop star de jour. They will change their mannerisms, their look and occasionally their speech, all in an attempt to be like “royalty”. But are all the public events and pomp and circumstance what it really means to be “royal”?

Out of all the recent royal couples out there, I think I admire Prince William and Catherine the most, not because they are royalty, but because they appear to be very down to earth people. They take care of their children. Charles goes to work everyday just like any young husband and father. Catherine does her own grocery shopping, just like any other young wife and mother. They just happen to be heirs to one of the oldest, successive monarchies in the western hemisphere and yet doing “common”, everyday, mundane things, like doing your own grocery shopping, isn't beneath them... down to earth and in some ways, a little Christ-like.

Black's Law Dictionary defines “royal” as, “Of or pertaining to or proceeding from the king in a monarchical government” [ 6^th ed. p. 1330]. In the book of John, Chapter 17, Jesus “lifted up his eyes to heaven, and said, Father, the hour is come; glorify thy Son, that thy Son also may glorify thee: As thou hast given him power over all flesh, that he should give eternal life to as many as thou hast given him. And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent. I have glorified thee on the earth: I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.

And now, O Father, glorify thou me with thine own self with the glory which I had with thee before the world was.” [Jn. 17:1-5] Jesus was asking God the Father, the First of the trinity, to restore him to the fullness of his divinity because his work was done.

Christ was and is and will always be the ultimate royal. He willingly cast off the fullness of his divinity, to take on flesh in the person of Jesus of Nazareth [Jn. 1:14], to become the son of Mary, a simple young girl and to be raised by Joseph, a simple carpenter [Lk 1:20]. He allowed himself to be subjected to all of what it means to be fully human... pain, loss, need, temptation, hunger, humiliation and ultimately death [Matt. 27:50] and only at the very end, at his most human point, did he ask, “My God my God, why have you forsaken me” [Matt. 27:46]. Christ is the ultimate royal in that he was willing to suffer the cross, all for his people... you and me... for the Kingdom of God.

This Christmas, as I sat in church singing Christmas carols and looking at the beautiful lights and decorations, I thought of the day the angel Gabriel announced to Mary that she would give birth to a savior... I thought about the day Christ is born in a manger (not a palace)... I thought about the wise men who traveled to pay tribute to Christ, one of only two acts of pomp in his life (the other being Palm Sunday) and how simple and beautiful and awe-inspiring these moments are, and I wonder if we today have any real understanding of what it means to be royal at all.

God Is Not A Man!

2015-08-17T00:38:00.002-07:00

"God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? "

- Numbers 23:19

I was praying this scripture the other night, as I often do, because it is my habit of pray the Word of God back to God... not only as a point of covenant, but also as a reminder to myself of what promises, rights and privileges I have as a believer... as a citizen of the kingdom of God and also as a reminder of the eternal nature of God. I pray Numbers 23:19 almost every night, normally pausing at “... that he should lie”, because I find it comforting to know that God never lies... He might just be the only one who doesn't, but this night, I paused earlier in the verse at, “God is not a man” and I literally gasped when I said it because I got new revelation in that moment of utterance of what that phrase really means.

God is Not a man. He doesn't have any of the faults or weaknesses of mankind. His nature isn't flawed as man's is. He has none of the limitations of mankind. He is Omnipresent, Omniscient and Omnipotent. His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways, [Isaiah 58:8] therefore he doesn't lie or make mistakes or go back on His word. His Word is settled in Heaven [Psalms 119:8] and heaven and earth shall pass away, but His word will never pass away. [Matthew 24:35]. God is a spirit, and those of us who worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth [John 4:24] and even though I knew all of this before, and have prayed this scripture hundreds of times before, in that moment, at that time, it expanded in my heart. It literally took my breath away.

God is immense and endless. He has no beginning and no end. How easy it is for me, with my finite mind and my finite life, to forget, or not fully understand just who it is I'm speaking to when I pray. His BIGNESS!!! (I would scream it on this page if I could) in contrast to my smallness, is wondrous and beautiful to me... it makes me feel safe and happy and excites me... it makes my heart sing. It gives me peace to know that what ever matter I bring to Him in prayer, it is handled. I can leave it with Him in confidence, knowing that He is well able to handle it. That there is nothing too hard for God. That there is no matter too irrelevant for God... nothing too small, nothing too great. That he is “Adonai Eloheinu melekh ha-olam” Lord God, King of the Universe... the ONE who set the stars in the sky and created all the planets and put them in their rotation. The ONE who created every living thing... from the smallest to the greatest (including me)... and He is the ONE I am speaking to when I cry “Abba Father”. [Romans 8:15]

That one thought, of God not being a man, took away all of my anxiety, all my fear and put my heart in perfect peace. I breathed a sigh of relief, chuckled to myself and just began to praise Him... for being Him, knowing that I am His, engraved on the palm of His hand [Isaiah 49:16] and that nothing... no not any thing can separate me from His love [Romans 8:39]

What is "Black"?

2015-05-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

A while back, I was having a conversation with a co-worker. We were discussing ethnicity... he being Jewish and me being African American, and when I mention to him that I had other blood besides African, he looked at me and said somewhat dismissively, "Felicia, you're Black" as if that were the sum total of my existence... as if he somehow knew exactly what that meant. I as an African American don't completely know what that means and it is not the same experience for every American of African descent. Personally, I don't think there is one definitive answer, but a colllection of answers based on an individual's African ancestry, what part of this country their family is from, their socio-economic background and what community influences, and not just Black, have taken root in their family. Did you grow up in an homogeneous environment? Did you grow up Protestant or Catholic or Budhist or Muslim or Atheist? How political was your family? Was race a topic of conversation or was it just that unmentionable thing you dealt with individually, but didn't dare acknowledge, in an attempt to be "just like everyone else".

The reality is, as Americans of African descent, we're not "just like everyone else". We're not even just like other African Americans because collectively, we are made up of such a large genetic pool.

I just recently got my DNA tested and was suprised to find out just how mixed I actually am. According to Ancestry.com, I am 82% African and 18% White. What I found interesting was how inconclusive the terms "African" and "White" really are.

As you can see in my results above, "Africa" , or rather my Africa, is represented with a total of eight different countries. All of which have different cultures and languages and customs and bloodlines with different biological and genetic traits. "Africa" is no more singularly Black than "Europe" is singularly White. And what I found here is just the tip of the iceberg.

I was referred by one of my new-found cousins, to another site called, GEDmatch, which takes the DNA results I got from Ancestry.com, and cross-references them with global DNA databases that are being compiled by researchers from around the world. These databases are more specific to region and ethnicity, and gives a more specific view of where my DNA came from.

When I uploaded my DNA to GEDmatch, I found that in addition to the eight African countries found by Ancestry.com, I can add North Africa, which could include any of the countries in the horn of Africa (the Omotic peoples) and Eastern Bantu, which may include Tanzania and/or Kenya.

In short, I'm kind of a sampling of the continent of Africa... a mixture of many different countries and cultures... an African gumbo with the main flavor being West African, but definitely not limited to that region. But is that what it means to be "Black" and is being "Black"the same as being "African" or "African American"?

As an American, with African and European ancestry, I think about this question alot. Although I'm medium brown-skinned, I've never felt completely accecpted in the Black community. When I say "Black", I mean a community of mostly African Americans. I've been called, oreo (black on the outside, white on the inside) wannabe, too proper (you'd think that was compliment, but it really isn't), uppity and as a child, those terms were very hurtful. I've always felt more comfortable in a more ethnically mixed environment. I'm not saying that I wasn't called names there, it's just that I understood why... my difference was more obvious.When I was younger, this caused me to be socially awkward and as an adult, socially cautious. I've always said that my phenotype doesn't display all that is in my genotype. I never understood why some blacks found me so different... that is, until now... and I've only discussed my African ancestry.

People tend to forget that African-Americans, meaning the descendants of African slaves brought to this country by whites, are a very unique group of people. Of course, other countries throughout the world bought African slaves, but few of them had as diverse a mixature of other ethnicites as the United States. In England, the Africans who did mix with whites, only had English and maybe some Scottish and Irish to mix with. In France, they only had the French. In Germany, Germans. In South and Central America, mostly Spanish and indigenious peoples. But in the United States, there were English, Irish, Scottish, French, Dutch, German, Spanish, Native Americans and Jewish (I'm 2% Jewish). All these groups were involved in the slave trade (foreign and/or domestic) and all of these groups owned slaves here in the United States.

When I look at my European ancestry, my genetic portrait becomes even more complex. In addition to the four main white groups found in my Ancestry.com DNA results, I can add peoples from the North Sea, Baltic, Eastern European, Western Mediterranean and Atlantic regions of the world

Factor in Asia (yes I've got that too)

and this doesn't even include my archaic DNA, which includes ancient DNA from Siberia, Hungary and Montana (yes, North American) which would suggest Native American ancestry, but that doesn't show up in any of the other results... go figure!

After reviewing just MY OWN DNA, you can see why defining what "Black" is, for me anyway, might be just a little more difficult than some might imagine... and more difficult for African Americans than blacks in other parts of the world.

Now back to the question I asked at the beginning of this post, "What is Black"? For me, the answer is all of this. I feel no need to ignore (I do lean toward some of it more than others... but that's just natural selection, right?) any of the DNA found here. I've recognized traits from almost all of these groups, and had friends from many of these groups. I have always considered myself multicultural and enjoyed learning about peoples from all over the world and have been blessed to go to school with people from many of these cultures from a very early age. Now, I can contribute my ease and preference for dealing with people from other cultures to my DNA to some extent, but my personal reason has always been my faith.

I grew up Catholic in Chicago, IL in the 1970's and attended Catholic schools that were very ethnically diverse. One school in particular, Holy Name Cathedral, I used to call the little UN. In my 3rd grade class of 17, we had students from at least 6 other countries and all socio-economic backgrounds... from diplomat's kids to kids from the projects and I landed a little lower than middle. We all kept up with current affairs, played the Eyewitness News game, and talked politics over lunch. I was there for 3 years, from 3rd to 5th grade and of all the elementary schools I attended (a total of 5), Holy Name was my favorite. As diverse as our backgrounds were, we all shared the same guiding principles... the tenets of Christianity... To love God with our whole heart, soul and being, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. [Matthew 22:37 & 39] We didn't always get it right, but it was our standard... the bar we were expected to reach. It was not an option and I thank God for that... that experience and that bar because it has forever shaped the person I am today.

So maybe the better question me is "Who am I? This is a question I can answer a with greater certainty. I'm an old Catholic school girl who grew up to be a Congregationalists woman... because my faith comes first. I'm an American of African, European and Asian descent with global influences. I'm a woman of color, an artist, writer and woman faith, who has shared my faith, prayed for, cried for and led many in a prayer to receive Jesus in their hearts. I'm a believer... and that's more important to me than other label. That is truly who I am.

Humanity Is A Choice

2015-03-19T23:34:00.001-07:00

Happy New Years everyone! As I begin 2015, I look back on the previous year... well years actually... to summarize the highs and lows... things I've accomplished and have yet to accomplish... my struggles and blessings received... what I have done and what I want to do, to establish a trajectory for this new year, 2015.

Having worked in ministry for over seven years, I can say with complete honesty that I have seen and heard some rather distressing things from people. The horrific things individuals have experienced at the hands of others. The horrible things people have done to themselves. The brutal things people have done to others. I have spent ten years of my life witnessing, experiencing, praying and interceding for hours on end to the point of tears, for those left in the wake of the human wreckage left behind by these events. And this experience has brought me to this conclusion. Humanity is a choice.

We are all born, whether we want to admit it or not, into the animal kingdom. The binomial nomenclature used to define us is, “homo sapien”, meaning human or literally translated, "wise man". Black's Law Dictionary goes further to define us as "homo vocabulum est naturae; persona juris civilis , meaning Man is a term of nature; person of civil law.1 Being a person of nature... and what "nature" means, is what I want to discuss.

Merrian Webster's Collegiate Dictionary defines the state of nature as "a creative and controlling force in the universe" and "the inherent character or basic constitution of a person or thing". What anyone who watches the news or has any familiarity with history knows, is that the "inherent character" of the homo sapien is that of aggression. Our species was able to survive in nature, dispite our small stature in comparison to other mammals, because we are the most dangerous thing on this planet. Homo sapiens are at the top of the the food chain... we are the dominant creature on planet earth, but our intelligence and dominance is not what makes us human beings.

Personally, I believe that being a "human being" is a higher form of life. It's more than just self awareness, but awareness of a "being" that is higher than us. Acts 17:28 says that, "in Him we live and move and have our being"... and that our "being" is that breath of life that was blown into the first man's nostrils which caused man to become a living being [Genesis 2:7].

Everyone who has lived for any length of time has experienced some degree of pain. Pain, unfortunately is a part of life and learning how to deal with that pain in ways that don’t do damage to ourselves or others is the work of life, and a good part of why many of us belong to faith communities. It certainly is the reason I left the Catholic Church and joined a charismatic, non-denominational, spirit-filled church. I needed the cathartic, redemptive experience of praise and worship to help me deal with… to heal from past hurts. I needed the balm of Gilead, and in the Catholic Church, that was not available to me. I needed to know that along with the cross that we all must bear as believers... the temptation of sin, illness and rejection, all things that Christ himself had to deal with, that I also had a refuge in prayer and that we are to pray without ceasing [1 Thessalonians 5:17]. I needed to know that I had a defense in knowing the Word and the promises of God and that I could fight back against evil when it afflicted me. I needed to know that I could put on the “whole armor of God”… that there actually was an armor to put on… in order to stand against the wiles of the devil in that evil day [Ephesian 6:10-13] and that the "evil day" was not any specific day, but any day that I was faced with pain, disappointment, illness, loss or temptation that afflict all of us in life. I needed to know that praising God is one of the most powerful weapons there is against negative situations because “praise stills the avenger”[Psalms 8:2] and that "stilling the avenger" sometimes means changing the situation, but most of the time it means changing me in the situation, the avenger in me... that I do things God's way, and not my own. I needed to know all I can do, is what I can do, and that as long as I have done what I'm supposed to do, and put my trust in God's word and cast all my cares on Him, that He would care for me. [1 Peter 5:7] I needed to know that I as a believer, have a God-given, blood-bought covenantal right to expect God's intervention because heaven and earth shall pass but His word would never pass away [Matthew 13:31].

Knowing these things, and believing God's word, is what makes me a human being. It elevates me above the state of nature, and brings me into His divine nature, where I truly can live and move and have my being.

1Black's Law Dictionary 6th Edition, Centennial Edition 1891-1991; (St. Paul, MN: West Publishing Company, 1990), pg. 736.

Just To Be...

2014-11-01T23:36:00.000-07:00

GIOVANNI ANSELMO

Entrare nell' opera (Entering the Work) 1971

Inkjet print on canvas 93-1/4 x 73-1/4in

Courtesy of the artist and Marian Goodman Gallery

The first time I saw Giovanni Anselmo’s , “Entering The Work”, it was on the wall of MOCA in downtown Los Angeles. This massive inkjet print on canvas ( you literally feel like you can walk into it) of a male figure running through a field… larger than life , filled me with excitement. It brought me back to a time and place in my childhood where I'd seen an open field of grass and had the intense urge to run, but was not allowed. The man in Giovanni's work was doing what I wanted to do, and I felt his exhilaration. However after looking at some of Mr. Anselmo's other works, I decided to revisit "Entering The Work", and got quite a different understanding.

As a whole, I find Mr. Anselmo's work to be an exploration of the frailness and weightiness of life... a head of lettuce juxtaposed with a block of granite. A block of granite perilously suspended above Mr. Anselmo's head. The repeated photos taken from a boat, trying to catch the setting sun to illustrate the fleeting nature of time... all of these images, as well as the man running in the field in “Entering The Work" illustrate the angst that I believe everyone feels at some point in their lives.

It struck me as odd that a single image could be so inviting and exciting and yet so tentative. The angle of his legs… the position of his arms… is the man running joyfully or fearfully, as other Anselmo works would suggest? To me, the man running illustrates how we all run through our lives… at times joyful… at times fearful… at times tentative… and how unnecessary that fear is when you have faith.

We all have the need to control our lives, some of us more than others. We even have terms for it… “Control Freaks”, “Type A Personalities”… we are people who have a need to control every aspect of our lives… to be masters of our own universe (and sometimes other’s universe), but the truth is, none of can achieve this.

There is One that is in control, that has absolute control of the universe and that One loves us and if we believe that, we have no need for fear. “For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” [2Timothy 1:7].

Admittedly, coming to accept the truth that we are not in complete control (and it’s not the end of the world) can be a hard pill to swallow. It doesn’t mean that we have no control or input, we certainly do. Our actions, our decisions and our attitudes are very important, but they don’t always determine the final outcome. There are always contingencies… the unforeseen… and these things, I have found best to give to God, because He is well able to handle them. I cast all my care… everything that would normally worry me and I have no control over… on Him, because I know He cares for me. [1 Peter 5:7]

Giving “it” (whatever “it” happens to be… that thing you can’t control) to God is not giving up. You have to give it to Him in confidence, in faith, knowing that He is touched by the feelings of our infirmity [Hebrews 4:15] and that His thoughts towards us are “…good and not evil. To give us a future and a hope.” [Jeremiah 29:11]. This allows you to appreciate what you have… to appreciate the time you’ve been given because the moment that is past is past and the moment that will come will be predicated on the moment that is right now. I thank God that we can have an assurance and a calm and a peace… a peace that surpasses all understanding [Phil. 4:7] that will allow us to be… To Be… just to Be… in that moment. Just to Be… who God created us to be. Just to enjoy “Being”. Then we have truly entered the work.

Evil Makes You Stupid, Truth Makes You Free

2014-10-02T17:45:00.004-07:00

“Evil Makes You Stupid, Truth Makes You Free”

“Speak truth to stupid”. This is actually a line from the pilot of Aaron Sorkin’s, “Newroom” that inspired this art piece. It was intended to be a triptych typography piece, but I later turned it into this short video you see here. The first panel reads, “Evil Makes You Stupid”, which is a personal quote of mine. Having worked in ministry and seen how people make the same mistakes over and over (I’ve seen this repeatedly) when you tell people the truth about something and they are not ready to receive it or change, they look at you with glazed-over eyes, as if you’re speaking another language and go… “uh… no, that’s not it”. That is stupid! Why? Not because they didn’t have access to the knowledge they needed. They did. You told them… or someone else told them… or life repeatedly has told them, and yet they can’t receive it because they have rejected knowledge… they’ve rejected truth.

Now I know that it is not exactly PC (politically correct) to use the word “stupid” with relation to people due to its negative connotations, but let’s take a look at what the word “stupid” actually means. According to Merrian Webster’s dictionary, “stupid” is defined as, “not intelligent: having or showing a lack of ability to learn and understand things. Not sensible or logical. Not able to think normally because you are drunk, tired, etc. Dulled in feeling or sensation”. Based on the actual definition of the word, I think that we can all attest to having done stupid things in the past, myself included. Times when we didn’t think things through or ignored the preverbal “handwriting on the wall”, but this is not an acceptable way of life, especially not for a believer. The part of this definition that is the most troubling to me is “having or showing a lack of ability to learn or understand things” which is why some people make the same mistakes repeatedly and never seem to acknowledge their responsibility in what has taken place. They have, either consciously or unconsciously, rejected knowledge… or rather truth and to reject truth isn’t just stupid because when we reject truth or the Spirit of Truth, we’ve rejected God. For God is the spirit of Truth [John. 14:17, 16:13]. Evil causes us to reject truth every time. It blinds us to the truth of the things that are before us. Speaking truth to someone who rejects knowledge is like speaking a foreign language to a person who has no knowledge of that language. The words that are coming out of your mouth make absolutely no sense to them. Why? Because evil has blinded them to truth.

The second panel of the triptych is, “Speak Truth To Stupid”. There’s a beautiful speech given by MacKenzie McHale (played by Emily Mortimer), Will McAvoy’s executive producer and former lover, where MacKenzie states that you have to “speak truth to stupid”. MacKenzie wants Will to be the jouralist he used to be and not pander to the network executives and the public for ratings. She wants Will to treat his viewing public intelligently and “speak truth to stupid”… which she sees as the inflammatory tabloid journalism that out there, filled with opinion and sensationalism and very little fact or thoughtful commentary. The only way to combat the “stupid” that’s out there is to speak truth… and she’s right.

As believers, we have to speak truth to stupid. It allows those of us who are merely having a stupid moment the opportunity to change or correct our thinking and get back on course. As believers, we have the responsibility to speak truth, God’s truth as it has been revealed to us by the Holy Spirit because we are saved by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony [Rev. 12:11], to share the Good News to “Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” [Acts 1:8] “If anyone has an ear, let him hear”. [Matthew 11:15] When God’s people, those who believe, hear truth it resonates with us on a very deep level. It may not even make any sense at the time, but the person will have an understanding that what they are hearing is, in fact true, and nothing else will be needed. It sticks. Truth is powerful! Truth is God!

Now the reason we have to speak truth to stupid is the third panel, “Truth Makes You Free”. John 8:32 states, “… and ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free”, and it does because it makes us free to choose. God gives us the freedom to accept or reject the truth… which means we have the freedom to accept or reject Him. This is what free will is all about, and he has given each person on earth the freedom to choose.

I thank God that He has given us the freedom to choose… that our worship is not forced… that instead… His love draws us… woos us, so that we as believers (the Church) may truly become the bride of Christ. [Ephesian 5:26-27]

Living On The Interest

2014-07-31T23:38:00.002-07:00

I have a stock account, meager though it may be, I definitely have a stock account ( two actually). One of the reasons I started buying stock is because I have a dream... possibly a delusion of granduer... I don't know, of being able to do something that people call “Living on the Interest ”meaning that you have enough stock in your porfolio, enough savings put away, that the interest alone will take care of you. It's part of my retirement plan.

I'm working on it. Right now I have a total of maybe oh... seven stock, only one of which is actually profitable, but that 's the goal. And hopefully, that will change for the better. And I'll keep putting a little bit extra away to make sure that I'm able to continue to build that account.

But I began to realize as I was sitting here... actually lying awake in bed at 4 o'clock in the morning... after having had a couple of surgeries and preparing for another one, that I have a different account and that that account is important, because with that account, I am currently living on the interest... and it's not interest on a treasure I've accumulated, but the interest earned by those who deposited before me. People, men and women in my family who have gone before me who made covenant with God... who have served Him, who have loved Him... who have received promises from Him and although they may be long gone, I am living on the interest of their deeds.

One was Charles Kirkman-Bey. He was my maternal great-great grandfather... my maternal grandfather's maternal grandfather. He was a leader of the Moorish Science Temple of America, a group started by the same founder as the Nation of Islam and he ran it in Chicago for almost 30 years.

Kirkman-Bey was a man that believed that truth transcended culture and religion and that there was truth in all of the major faiths. He took parts of Taoism, Buddhism, early Christianity, Freemansonry Islam and Gnostism. He looked at all of these faiths and saw truth in them all and combined them and helped to create the Moorish Science Temple of America, and lead the Chicago temple from 1929 to 1959. From all accounts, when he died in 1959, he left a legacy... a legacy that still exists ... a legacy of honor and compassion that exists to this day, and not just in the city of Chicago.

Another person in my family was my Aunt Willie. She was known on the northside of Chicago for feeding people during the Depression. She had a gift for talking to people, especially young men, and leading people into right action... to be an asset to their communiity instead of deficit. She had no official training, was not an official priest of any denomination, but she had the heart of one, and hated to see decent people suffer. She was single-handedly responsible for bringing our family to Chicago and she was able to do this on a cleaning woman's meager pay. When she died in 1977, there were so many cars in the funeral procession, you couldn't see the end, and these were not family members, but people in the community, black and white, rich and poor, who came to pay their respects. She left such a strong legacy in Chicago so that when I moved back to Chicago in 2007, there were still people that remembered her and because of her deeds, looked after me... I lived on her interest.

Another is my fraternal grandmother, Luna Gaddis, who was known for praying for people. Again, not in a denomination that honored women ministers, but who ministered. No title necessary. I didn't know her well, but when I went to her funeral, there was standing room only in the church and people overflowed out into the street and it wasn't just family. It was the people she had loved and prayed for and counselled who were in tears and weeped heavily at the loss of someone who had poured so much into their lives. I had the opportunity to hear person after person talk about how she had counselled them, how she had prayed for them, how she had helped them see that there was a call on their life. I live on her interest.

My great grandmother, ... my maternal grandmother's mother, Sophie Virginia Howard (her maiden name)... was the “family elder”. On my mother's side of the family, we have a designated family elder who is the head of the family and it's normally one woman. She was known for being a “holy woman” and not just by members of the family, but by the people in the community. She died before my mother was born, so I never got a chance to meet her, but I did get a chance to speak with my last “family elder”, Alene Matthews, Sophie's granddaughter, before she passed, who imparted some knowledge about Sophie Virginia, who I'm named after (Virginia's my middle name) and I understand that I'm living on her interest as well. Sophie Virginia was not just a woman of prayer, she was a healer. She was of Cherokee, English and African ancestry and although she attended a Baptist church, her faith was closer to Cherokee/Christian practices. She was known for being a godly and decent woman... and today I live on the interest.

Now I personally, have done some things to deposit into this account. I haven't just completely relied on the interest acrued by others deeds. I've attempted in my actions in my life, to make deposits myself, but I know that the reason I exist isn't necessarily just because of the deposits I've made, but because of the deposits that were made long before me... long before I was born... long before I was even thought of. Those deposits are covenant with God, made by members of my family for the care and well being of their bloodline... That “their seed shall remain [Ecclesiaticus 44:13] and God keeps His word. I live, because of their interest. I live because of those covenants. I live and move and have my being this day, because God honor's His word... because “God magnifies His word above His name” [138:21].

Long after the bodies are gone, long after the deeds are done, long after all this is said and done, what remains is what we have with our heavenly Father, what remains is that interest, that deposit that we made in faith, that deposit that we made knowing that we served a God that would never leave nor forsake us [Deut. 31:6] that God is true and cannot lie... that heaven and earth shall pass away before his word returns unto him void. [Matt. 24:35] Even when it seems like things aren't going well, the fact that we remain is evidence of that covenant, and we live on the interest.

The Accident Is Just As Important As The Intention

2014-06-23T17:51:00.002-07:00

Hello again! It's been a while since my last post. I've been busy... I moved (yeah!). I started a new job (gotta pay the bills) and I've been busy fixing the place up and getting settled.

Here's my latest post entitled, "The Accident Is Just As Important As The Intention". I'm trying something new this month. I decided to upload a recorded post. I was a little low on time and found myself "thinking out loud" (i.e., talking to myself) about the subject, to come up with something and decided an audio recording would work best. I've included the painting discussed and a guy I work (thank you Dave) put this file together for me. Just click on the link below

Painting entitled, "The Struggle"

I hope you like the new format. I will probably be doing more of these in the future. I would love to hear your feedback.

Sincerely,

Felicia V. Gaddis

Let Me Tell You About Mr. Big

2014-03-16T18:59:00.002-07:00

I was talking to a collegue the other day over lunch, and somehow we got on the subject of “Sex In The City”, the now cancelled HBO show about the friendship of four New York professional women and their adventures in trying to find love in the big apple. Now, you may not think that a show like “Sex In The City” is something that I would (or that should be) discussed in a devotional blog about christianity, but if it weren't for this show, Ikthos as it is would not exist.

I became a fan of the show after it went into syndication (I didn't have cable) and began airing on my local television station... so basically, I've only seen the sanitized version of the show, but I still love it, because of the relationships between these four New York women, Miranda ,Samantha, Charlotte and of course Carrie. Sarah Jessica Parker's voiceover of Carrie Bradshaw's column is what caused me to re-think the way I approached Ikthos and gave me the courage to make it more personal and conversational although anyone who's ever seen the show knows our subject matter couldn't be more different.

If you've seen the show (or the movies for that matter) you know the ongoing relationhip Carrie has with Mr. Big. Mr. Big is the love of Carrie's life. He's smart, successful, wealthy, tall, dark and handsome... but unfortunately for most of the show's run, completely unavailable. Either because he afraid of commitment to Carrie or because he commited (married) to someone else. At the end of the first film, Carrie and Mr. Big finally tie the knot in a very simple, unceremonious ceremony at the Justice of the Peace... and of course the girls, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte are all there. This is Carrie's happily-ever-after... she's finally nabbed Mr. Big... the fish that always mananged to get away from her, and as a viewer, I was very happy for Carrie. She'd been through a lot to get this man to meet her at the altar, in fact, her left her at the altar at the beginning of the film, but Carrie and I have a very different idea of what triumphant love is... about what's worth fighting for... about who Mr. Big really is. Let me tell you about Mr. Big.

In Carrie's world, Mr. Big is a man who is afraid of commitment. Who shutters at the thought of emotional intimacy and vulnerability and who only understands Carrie's value to him after he marries another woman,divorces this woman and leaves Carrie at the altar. Only then can he come to terms with the fact that Carrie is the one for him and in a seeming sign of defeat... like raising a white flag in battle... does Mr. Big marry Carrie and I guess this is victory, but thank God my Mr. Big... God in the person of Jesus Christ, isn't this way.

He is faithful... always, and longs for intimacy with is people... no fear of getting too close here. And as for commitment, we are the one's who fear committing to Him. He never leaves or forsakes us [Deut. 31:6; Heb. 13:5]. He's the one who pursues us, because he first loved loved us and He waits patiently for us to understand and appreciate His undying, eternal love for us.

Now I'm not saying that we can't love others, of course we can but I am saying that without understanding God's love for us, the ongoing love affair God has for and with His people... with His Church, the Bride of Christ, we will never be able to love others with abandon. We will never know what it truly means to be loved... we will never be able to impart that love to others.

I'm not saying that understanding God's love for us is revelation that you get all at once. I believe it's a life-long process that we learn through experience, with God, with others and through prayer and how we handle events in our lives, but it a love relationship that we as individuals should want to pursue and is the model for every loving relationhip we have after.

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth— for your loveis more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the young women love you! Take me away with you—let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers.”

- Solomon's Song of Songs 1:1-4

How Will You Receive The Presence Of God This Year?

2013-12-06T19:44:00.002-08:00

Happy Holidays everyone! As much as I dislike the expression “Happy Holidays” (not personal enough for me) it is the most expedient way of addressing all of the holidays we celebrate at this time of year. With Thanksgiving, we gave thanks for what we have already received... the blessing of friends and family and prosperity of the previous year. With the upcoming Christmas and New Years, beyond all of the shopping, travelling and holiday festivities, we are anticipating the birth of Emanuel, God with us, and the blessing that will bring, but how do you receive Emanuel, especially since we prepare for this every year? What makes this Christmas, this Noel any different or more special than the many others we've celebrated in the past? How will you receive the presence of God this year?

Matthew 8:5-8:13

“And when he was entered into Capernaum, there came unto him a centurion, beseeching him, and saying, Lord, my servant lieth in the home sick of the palsy, grievously tormented. And he saith unto him, I will come and heal him. And the centurion answered and said, Lord, I am not worthy that thou shouldest come under my roof; but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed. For I am a man of authority, having under myself soldiers: and I say to this one Go, and he goeth; and to another, Come, and he cometh; and to my servant, Do this, and he doeth it.

And when Jesus heard it, he marvelled, and said to them that followed, Verily I say unto you, I have not found so great faith, no , not in Israel....

And Jesus said unto the centurion, Go thy way as thou has believed, [so] be it done unto thee and the servant was healed that very hour.”

Genesis 18:1-15

“And the Lord appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day; and he lifted up his eyes and looked and, lo, three men stood by him; and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground, and said, My Lord, if now I have found favor in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant. Let a little water I pray you be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree: and I will fetch a morsel of bread, and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And thy said, So do, as thou hast said.

And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetch a calf tender and good, and give it unto the young man; and he hasted to dress it. And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them: and he stood by them under the tree, and thy did eat.

And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold in the tent. And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life, and lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.

Now Abraham and Sarah were old, and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women. Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?

And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old? Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed, I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.Then Sarah denied, saying I laughed not; for she was afraid and he said, Nay: but thou didst laugh.

Admittedly, these are not your typical Christmas passages, but they are two very different examples of how people, myself included, receive the presence of God...one with feelings of unworthiness and shame, the other with great joy and celebration.

In the first example, the centurion sees and meets Jesus and “beseeches” Jesus to heal his servant of the palsy. “Beseech” in Merriam-Webster's dictionary is defined as, “to beg for urgently or anxiously; to request earnestly: implore. Implore is defined as, “to call upon in supplication; to call or pray for earnestly: entreat. Entreat is defined as, ”negociate; plead. So it is safe to say that the centurion cared greatly for his servant and that his was a whole-hearted, urgent plea... not a passing request, for the healing of his servant.

Jesus, in his love and mercy, agrees to come to the centurion's home and heal the servant, but the

Centurion refuses Jesus entry to his home, stating that he “is not worthy” to have Jesus under his roof, and instead, he tell Christ to “just say the word, and my servant shall be healed”. Jesus commended him for his faith and goes on to chide Israel for not having that level of faith, which is true, they didn't have faith in Him, but I wonder, was this the best way to receive the presence of God?

In Genesis 18, Abraham sees the Lord, which some call the Christophony or the pre-incarnate Christ,¹ on the plains of Mamre. When he sees the Lord, Abraham requests that they “pass not away” and invites the “three men” to take bread and water, rest under a tree and washes their feet. He has his servants prepare a feast for them... killing a tender calf and serving milk and butter. The “three men” (could this be the godhead?) stay and bless him and his household and promise that Abraham shall have a son by his wife Sarah, who was past her child-bearing years... and they do all this without Abraham asking for anything. The Lord saw the need, and fulfilled it beyond Abraham's wildest dreams, promising what naturally was not physically possible.

I understand the Centurion's feelings of unworthiness. In reality, none of us are worthy of God's blessings, “for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God [Rom. 3:23] and if we say that we have not sinned, we call God a liar and the truth is not in us [1Jn 1:10] for it is not possible for God to lie [Heb. 6:18], but should this feeling of shame... which some call “Bread of Shame”, stop us from seeking the presence of God?

Should we allow our unworthiness to separate us from our savior, the one who was unjustly persecuted, unjustly prosecuted and viciously crucified... in order that we might have communion with our Creator and heavenly Father... the one who came to reconcile us back to God? God forbid! What then would be the reason of his suffering and the price He paid for us? What then would be the benefit of His blood shed for us... it would be of no value... again, God forbid! When Jesus was crucified, the curtain in the temple that separated the people from the Holy of Holies was torn from end to end [Matt. 27:51] exposing and reuniting God with his people. God was no longer shrouded behind a heavy curtain with the fear of death if they came near unworthy. They, and we today, can come boldly to the throne of Grace [Heb. 4:16] without fear, without dread and enjoy the presence of the Lord, like Abraham did on the plains of Mamre with joy and celebration and with anticipation of Emanuel, God with us, supplying all our need... the need we are aware of and the need we haven't the courage to speak.

This Christmas, my sincerest prayer for myself and for all, is that we shed our shame and feelings of unworthiness so that we may truly be able to celebrate God with us and all that the blessing of His presence brings. Have a very Merry and Blessed Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year!

Love to all...

From,

Felicia V. Gaddis

Creator of Ikthos

¹. Definition of “Christophany” taken from Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christophany

What's In Your Memo?

2013-07-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

As believers in Christ, we are given a spiritual birthright, by the blood of Jesus, to many benefits and blessings But with those benefits and blessings, come responsibilities, which should not seem unreasonable to us. After all, Christ gave the ultimate sacrifice, his life, that we might have these blessings. That we might be able to cry unto God “Abba Father”. [Rom. 8:15] Our job as believers is to find out along with our rights, what our responsibilities are... and they intensify as we mature spiritually. The greater the blessings we walk in, the greater the responsibility. We need to find out what's in our memo.

When I first started working in television, I worked freelance for a small production company that used something called deal memos as employment contracts. The deal memo laid out your responsibilities to the company/show you were working on and it also stated how much you would be paid and when for the services you rendered.

For the third show I worked on for this company, “Story of a People: Three Cities Revisited”, I was hired as the Associate Producer and was responsible for hiring crew for our out-of-town shoots. I typed up the deal memo for the field producer I hired in Atlanta and discussed the terms and compensation with her over the phone. I faxed the memo to her for approval and had her sign, fax and mail a hard copy of the signed memo back to me. This was proof legally, that we both understood and agreed to the terms of the memo and that full payment was conditional upon her delivering all of the items requested in that memo, i.e., beauty shots of Atlanta (day and night), b-roll of the family she was interviewing (their home, neighborhood, their place of work), and an informative interview with at least all of the questions I sent her answered). This was the bare minimum that was required for her to receive payment and a show credit.

The morning of the shoot, I spoke to her briefly with some last minute information and asked how she felt about the shoot. She seemed excited and eager to get started which was a relief to me because I would have preferred doing the interviews myself, but the show couldn't afford the travel expense of me going to Atlanta. I had to relinquish absolute control of this shoot and trust someone I had never met, to do my bidding for me. I had to trust that she would ask the questions I sent her, that she'd read the research material I sent her and that she would build a rapport with the family she was interviewing. The interview subject has to trust that they are in good hands so that they feel safe enough to really open up. You get a much better interview that way. I also had to trust that she had good instincts and would be able to recognize if the subject said something during the interview that was useful but maybe off script, and she would know how to follow that line of questioning and tie it back into the questions I'd sent her. I had to trust that she would get all of the above-mentioned elements, in the proper format, back to me in a timely manner because we were going to edit within few days of the shoot. There was a lot riding on this total stranger and our initial conversation did put my mind at ease.

I spoke to her again at the end of the day. She joyfully exclaimed that everything had gone according to plan and that I would be pleased with the outcome, so you can imagine my surprise and terror when I looked at the footage and saw that some of the b-roll I needed (beauty shots of Atlanta at night and the work location of the subject) weren't there. In a panic, I picked up the phone and called this field producer to ask what on earth had happened. She then informed me that she and the crew had been caught in traffic, the day ran long and there just wasn't enough time to get all the shots I wanted. After all I wasn't really paying her that much so this was the best she could do. I then took her back to that deal memo we'd discussed in depth and that she'd signed and faxed back to me. I informed her that as per the terms of the deal memo, she was in breach of contract and that ANY further payment was contingent upon her delivering all the items listed in that memo. She hadn't been coerced into signing it. If she thought the pay was not sufficient or the work load too heavy, she had every opportunity to negotiate different terms or not take the job, but if she wanted the remainder of her pay (she was paid half up front), she would have to deliver the the missing elements that I had requested, and fast! Two days later, I received the missing elements and we were finally able to go to edit but needless to say, I never recommended her services to anyone and I certainly never hired her again.

Just as the terms of the my deal memo with this field producer were clearly stated in writing, the terms of my rights and responsibilities with Christ are clearly stated in His “deal memo” with us, the Bible. As I grow in faith, I am able to walk in more of the rights and benefits that are stated in the bible. I have a right to joy unspeakable [1Peter 1:8]. I have a right to “the peace of God, which passes all understanding...” [Phil. 4:7]. I have a right to the Holy Spirit, “But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.” But I am also responsible for more.

I am responsible for the Truth, the word that I know. [Jn. 8:32] I am responsible for what I have been taught, by both God and man. I am responsible to stand for what I believe when I know that it lines up with the Word of God, regardless of how others feel about it. [Ephesians 6:13] I am responsible to share with others, to give my testimony of what I've been taught and my experiences with God, with those who permit it. [Matt. 11:15] For we are saved by the blood of the Lamb and the words of our testimony. [Rev. 12:11]

Unlike the field producer, I NEVER have to worry about God being in breach of contract. He is perfection. He is truth and heaven and earth shall pass away before his word returns unto Him void. [Is. 55:11; Lk. 21:33]. I can trust Him implicitly and relinquish any need to control how He accomplishes His part of our Deal Memo (how is not my responsibility), but rest in the knowledge that it will be done.

The New Testament covenant we have as believers, has made us all kings and priests unto God [Rev. 1:6], with rights and benefits reserved only for the high priests of the Old Testament and greater responsibilities as well. But the benefit of eternal life and intimacy with God far out weigh any burden we may carry. Christ even helps us with that. [1Peter 5:7; 2 Cor. 12:9]. He has made us free, no longer slaves to fear... fear of the opinions of men, of separation from God or of ever being alone again, because He will never leave or forsake us. [Deut. 31:6] And this liberty and relationship we have as believers, is not reserved for a select few (the presbytery) but for all who believe. “For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people. And they shall not teach every man his neighbor, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest.” [Hebrews 8:10-11]

The Verb "To Be"

2013-04-23T12:11:00.003-07:00

“To be or not to be--that is the question” asks Hamlet... and that is indeed the question. But what does it really mean? What does it mean, “to be”?

I first became aware of the magnitude of this question while sitting in a Spanish class at El Camino College. We were going over our homework, an exercise on the two spanish verbs “to be”, ser verse estar. In spanish, one of the first things you learn is which verb “to be” to use. Ser is used in description, origin and time, as in “Yo soy Felicia” (I am Felicia); “Yo soy de Chicago” (I am from Chicago); “Es el martes, 23 de abril de 2013” (It is Tuesday, April 23, 2013). Estar is used in locations and conditions, as in “Yo estoy sentado en la mesa de la cocina” (I am sitting at the kitchen table); and “Yo estoy cansada esta manana” (I am tired this morning). :)

As I sat in class, listening to the instructor reviewing the rules for Ser vs. Estar, I had an epiphany. That “being” is far more complex than I had prievously imagined. That the state of being was important enough for an entire culture to desginate different words for various states of being, and that which word to use is determined by whether or not you, as an individual have the power to change your state of being. I am from Chicago, I can't change that therefore, yo soy de Chicago. I am sitting at the kitchen table, I can change that at anytime by moving, therefore yo estoy sentada en la mesa de la cocina. I am Felicia, I cannot change the essence of who I am (i.e., my history, my lineage, what I value, my likes, my dislikes, my personality, etc). All these things combine to make me uniquely “me” therefore yo soy Felicia. We are a recipe that has taken untold generations and combinations create. We do have choices of traits that we emphasis, but the very fact that we choose them is an indication of who we are... and of who's we are.

2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” Christ is the only one who can change our nature and cause us to be something new. When we receive him in our hearts, we become “new creatures in Christ”, but even the desire to receive Christ has to connect with something that already exists within us. “Deep calls unto deep...” [Ps. 42:7], we have “an ear to hear” [Matt. 11:15], we then can receive Him in our hearts and then we can become something new... born again, but the desire “to be” fully was always there. We simply answer the call of that “still small voice” and we become fully God's children and not merely his creation. “For in him we live and move and have our being.' As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.'” [Acts 17:28]

I know this from my own personal experience. When I was a practicing Roman Catholic, as much as I loved the church and my faith, I knew there was “something” missing. I couldn't put my finger on it or articulate fully, but I knew there had to be something more. While visiting Love Fellowship Tabernacle and listening to Pastor Daryl Coley, who at the time was a family friend, I heard the altar call and it connected with something so deep within me, that I literally stepped on my mother's friend (accidently of course) to get to that altar. I HAD to get there. The depth that is God called to the deep that was within me... my deep need to know (gnosis) that God loved me, my deep need to feel whole and my deep need to no longer be sad, because depression was something that I had dealt with all of my life.

By going to that altar, and receiving Christ in my heart, I had been given the power to change my state of being, to change my “estar”, my condition, and to become the “ser” I was always intended to be from the beginning of time. “According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love” [Ephesians 1:4] and that was my beginning in really knowing what it means “to be”. Now, in Him I live and move and truly have my being.

No More Labels

2013-03-31T19:19:00.000-07:00

I ran across a YouTube video of Naomi Klein, the author of “Shock Doctrine” and “No More Labels”, discussing the latter book. It dawned on me as I was thinking about the book and what that means... that we have to stop buying into brands, that what's really important isn't the brand, but the quality of the product and that isn't always reflected by the brand name or label. As believers, I believe we need to do the same with brands or labels in the body of Christ.

As a non-denominational believer, which is really what Congregationalism is about... each congregation declaring its statement of faith and coming together with other's of like-minded faith... we've got to stop putting labels on Christ and on His Church. Should it really matter if you're Catholic (which means universal by the way) or Lutheran or Church of God in Christ, or Presbyterian when it comes to our core beliefs or the condition of the body? Don't we all believe in the same Jesus... that he died on the cross, was buried in a tomb and rose on the third day?

Should it really be a problem for the Lutheran Synod if Rev. Rob Morris, a Lutheran Pastor in Newtown CT, participates in an interfaith service, when his entire town has been devastated by the senseless murder of twenty six of Newtown's smallest and most defenseless residents? Should he have stayed away if everyone there didn't share traditional Lutheran beliefs and do we really think Jesus would have?

How are we to become “a body fitly joined together, joint supplying joint,[ Ephes. 4:16] if the “joints” are constantly trying to cut each other off... from purpose, from blessings from fellowship with the saints (and for my Catholic family out there, I believe that a “saint” is anyone who has been sanctified by the blood of Jesus, and that does not require evidence of miracles like the gift of bi-location) and from God? How are we to be true “living epistles read of men” when we don't live the Word... when we don't live Christ?

“Forasmuch as ye are manifestly declared to be the epistle of Christ ministered by us, written not with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God; not in tables of stone, but in fleshy tables of the heart.” [2Corinthians 3:1-3] This is what Christ wants for us... for His body... His bride which is the Church.

Today, as we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord Jesus, for me, the important thing to remember is not the suffering of His death, but of life resurrected. Jesus was only dead 3 days, and now he's alive forever, and in a glorified state... better than he ever was before! Better for us because what He gave, could only have been given by Him. Better for us because only His blood could cleanse us of all unrightiousness. He did for us what we were and are not capable of doing for ourselves and my prayer this Resurrection Sunday, is that He does the same for His Church. That the love of Christ enables us as His body, overcome the divisiveness and sectarianism organized religion seems to encourage. He died that we might truly have life... and life more abundantly, but I don't believe we can be resurrected if we continue the culture of labels and division we've created.

I don't believe that there has been any other time in modern history, that the Church has been more challenged, but our greatest challenge comes from within. We must return to our first Love... the Love that sustained and in fact grew the First Century Church under tremendous persecution. The Love that caused the Protestant Reformation, the Azuza Street Revival and drew most of us into the non-denominational movement of the 1980's and 1990's. The love that enables those of us who believe on His name, to become the Sons of God. “Which are born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” [John 1:13]

Things Aren't Always As They Seem

2013-03-16T17:01:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how people think they know something and they really don't. I had a lesson the other day. I was at the beach, and was in worship and praise and crying (which is what I normally do when I praise/worship) and a Muslim lady passed by and smiled and nodded, as she passed with a young man who seemed to be a son or nephew. I smiled and nodded to her in response and I had a feeling that each of us understood. We smiled and nodded in agreement with the process... having an understanding, because we both love God, and recognized in each other the desire to share our love with Him, and appreciated in each other the expression of that love. There were no word exchanged, but the understanding was immediate and appreciated by both of us.

A few minutes later, a Christian lady with a young girl walked by, back tracking a couple of times, and eventually came up to me and asked if I was ok. She said that she thought I looked a little sad and that they (she and the girl) had prayed for me. The lady was very kind with the best of intentions, but I had to explain that I wasn't sad. That it is quite normal for me to cry when I worship or praise God and that I had come to the beach to do just that. That she had witnessed my process of praise, and that it was good. I was actually experiencing joy and tears were of gratitude. When I said this, the woman looked a little puzzled, softly patted me on the shoulder and walked away, but I never got the impression that she fully understood what I was talking about.

This isn't the only time I've had this experience. I had a similar experience with a Hasidic Jewish lady while riding on the bus in Chicago. We were both praying, verying quietly, mouthing the words under our breath, without volume, when we suddenly looked at each other and realized we were not alone. We were doing the same thing … she mouthing the words from her little silver-clad prayer book and me, quietly praying in tongues. She in Hebrew and me in a language not even comprehensible by man, and yet we knew...and there was a moment of recognition and relief and joy.

We assume... and I've been guilty of this myself... that because people are of different faiths, that they don't know “the truth”, whatever we believe that truth happens to be. But I am finding more and more that God is so much bigger than anything we could imagine, and that those of us who love Him are connected by faith and by the Spirit... we know Him. It doesn't take a doctorate of Divinity, Homiletics or Hermeneutics to understand what we're doing when we pray... we become one body. The Spirit unites us and we sing His praises. We become apart of that “all the earth” spoken of in Psalms 97, rejoicing and declaring God's glory as we worship Abba Father.

Some may not yet know Him as Abba, and I'm not saying that “all roads lead to God” far from it, but for those of us who are His, our road is paved with praise. “We enter into His gates with thanksgiving and into his courts with praise” (Ps. 100:4).

Now I'm not saying that the Christian lady was somehow less faithful or less sincere, she wasn't. I'm actually glad she asked so that I could explain what I was doing, but she was in need of growth and many Christians are. We need to be able to better express our lack of knowledge, so that we can get a better understanding... of our own faith, and the faith of others in this world that we share. I learned something that day... well I think I already knew, but it was confirmed that day... that things aren't always as they seem, and that God's people are of every race, creed, color... and yes, religion and because we love Him, we should be able to find a way to love and understand one another.

"Owe No Man Nothing But To Love Him"

2013-02-22T13:45:00.000-08:00

Well... this is my post for the month of February. I had planned to write about Valentine’s Day and the meaning of that holiday, and I still may at some later date, but for now...I believe the greatest Valentine’s Day gift I can give any reader is the gift of freedom... freedom from heart ache through the love of Jesus Christ (He is after all the Balm of Gilead), freedom from the opinions of men because no man can serve two masters (Matt. 6:24) and freedom from debt, because the word of God says that we should “Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.”

Love comes in a multitude of forms. In Greek, which is a language that was used during the time of Christ and was also used in writing the New Testament, it even has several different words. According to Wikipedia, there are four words for love: Agape, Eros, Philia and Stroge.

Agape* is love that puts us in a state of wonder or amazement, as with the mouth wide open (with one’s mouth agape). This kind of love is spiritual in nature, not sexual, and is the kind of love that is most closely related to Christian love... the love that Christ has for us and the love that we have for Him and each other. This I believe is the greatest love.

The second, Eros*, is sexual love. The kind of love that exists between husband and wife. It is the physical expression of their spiritual union. This word is the root of the word erotic, which has taken on other meanings and I believe is highly and inaccurately over used, but its origin is in no way lascivious or depraved, but actually quite beautiful... and produces life.

The next is Philia*, which is brotherly love. It can be described as affection, attachment, fondness, tenderness, protectiveness... all the attributes that we use to describe the way we love our family and friends.

The last is Stroge*. This is the word used to describe that special love parents have for their children. The kind that can give strength to a parent to perform the seemingly impossible... like the mother that lifts a car off her child (this has happened) or cause a father to train for a marathon, just so he can make his disabled son’s dream of finishing a marathon a reality (www.teamhoyt.com). It causes us to go that extra mile... to risk life and limb... for our offspring, so that our “seed shall remain” (psalm 89:4).

Now you may wonder, how does being free from debt fit in with the kinds of love listed above? Trust me, it does. It actually applies to three of the four types mentioned... agape, philia and stroge. If we love our community of believers and the fellowship of the saints (those sanctified by the blood of Jesus) we are going to want what is best for them, which is not to be beholden to anyone or anything but Christ. Debt is a burden and we shouldn’t want that for them. We also shouldn’t want that burden for our friends or extended family for the same reasons. We definitely shouldn’t want that for our children, because “a good man leaves an inheritance” (psalms 13:22), not only to his children, but also to his children’s children. This is the inheritance to the servants of the Lord... and all those who believe, so why is it that so many believer’s are actually encouraged and in some cases deceived into taking on more than they can handle financially? I’ve even visited churches where pastors have stated that “God gave them a car loan they didn’t even qualify for”. Was this really a blessing from God or a trick of “the enemy”... whatever that enemy happens to be: greed, a desire to keep up with the Jones, the desire to impress his congregation, etc... to overburden himself and his family?

It is said that we, as believers, should wear this world as a loose garment, and this is based in part on Mark 4:19, which states that “the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the desires for other things entering in choke out the word, and it becomes unfruitful.” Now I am in no way implying that you should have nothing or want nothing, its just that our desires shouldn’t overtake us... controlling our lives. Ultimately, everything we want should (and can) line up with God’s desire for us.

So... in the spirit of my desire to help believers (and myself) love ourselves and our families better, I am including a link to a Mashable.com video I just discovered:
Two Guys Create Legit Way To Pay Debt Online for a website called “Ready For Zero”. The site provides tools and advice for individuals to get out of debt, for themselves and their loved ones, which makes all of us just a little more free. This is my Valentine’s Gift to you... and me :).

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* All definitions taken from Wikipedia and TheFreeDictionary by Farlex (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/)

What Is Good?

2013-01-05T15:32:00.001-08:00

I recently reconnected through Facebook with an old friend, Christophe Lobry. Actually, Christophe is more than an old friend; he’s my first “grown-up” love. Our relationship was short lived, but it was very instrumental in my personal development… my personal journey from girlhood to womanhood, and that relationship has forever altered, in a good way, the trajectory of my life.

We met when I was 20 years old through a mutual friend and there was any immediate spark. We dated for a couple of months, but I was a little too inexperienced for my new beau and one night over dinner, I looked across the table at him and said, “I love you”. It was a phrase we had both uttered before, but this time, instead of hearing his usual reply, he said “I’m sorry dear, but I don’t love you.” I was devastated. I sank back into my seat, feeling as if someone had just hit me. He asked if I was ok and I said I was, but to be honest, I don’t remember much of what was said after that. We agreed to be “friends” and continued to see each other for a few weeks after that, but I couldn’t get past the truth of what he’d said, and told him I couldn’t see him anymore.

John 8:32 says, “… and the truth shall make us free” and in this instance, it really did. I could no longer ignore the problems I knew were in our relationship. It destroyed any overly romanticized schoolgirl notions of what I wanted our relationship to be and forced me to deal with the facts… the reality that I was never going to be able to get from him what I really wanted… and that was to be understood and loved for me. It also forced me to come to the realization that I needed to determine for myself, and define clearly what I wanted out of a relationship and how I wanted to live my life. That it was my responsibility (not his) to set a standard and if I didn’t, I had no one to blame but myself for what I got. This very unpleasant truth, the fact that he didn’t love me, was probably the greatest act of love he could have given me because it freed me to move on.

Ephesians 4:15 says, “… but speaking the truth in love, we grow in all things, into Him who is the head – Christ”. I doubt that he had this scripture in mind, but that’s exactly what he did. He was never malicious; in fact he was quite compassionate about the whole thing and very concerned for my well-being when I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. That next year, I took time to work on me. I didn’t date at all and went into therapy. God blessed me with a great therapist, who worked with me through family issues, self-esteem issues and gave me a safe place to voice my fears, hopes and dreams and encouraged me to grow so I could move forward.

Eventually, I began socializing with some of my co-workers at the law firm I worked for, which gave me an introduction to the culture of law, which was very beneficial to me when I began doing clip licensing for television. One of the attorneys even invited me to go on a whitewater rafting trip with a group from the firm, something I never would have done on my own… I had a blast!

One Saturday afternoon while looking for something to do to fill all this extra time, I bought a 35mm camera. I took up photography, which led me into film. By the end of that year, I knew just about every camera store and arthouse/foreign film (something Christophe had introduced me to) venue in Los Angeles and would see 5 to 6 films a week. This gave me a vast mental library of films and visual images and a good grasp of the art of storytelling.

I took classes at UCLA Extension at Santa Monica College in photography, film and television and changed jobs and began working in the creative department at an advertising agency that made television and radio commercials. This was the beginning of my career in television.

Around August of the following year, I was reconnected with an acquaintance from high school, Kevin Lee. We began dating and this time… because Christophe told me a very painful truth and I’d done some work on me, I was ready. To date, Kevin Lee has been the love of my life. Unfortunately he passed away in 1994, but I am incredibly grateful for the time we had together.

Some of the most painful things in our lives, if we use them correctly, can bring us great good. Christophe telling me that he no longer loved me was not pleasant… in fact it was downright painful, but it was very good because it freed me to move on and find someone who actually did love me, Kevin. Otherwise, if I had continued acting under the false assumption that the relationship with Christophe was going to work, I would have stayed in something that was fruitless, with the hope of something that I was never coming. I finally got what I was looking for… to be understood and loved for me.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

2012-12-05T14:04:00.000-08:00

Tempering…

Definition:

1. To mix clay with water or a modifier (grog) and knead (wedge) to a uniformmixture.

2. To harden (as steel) by reheating and cooling in oil.

I woke up in the middle of the night a few days ago with this word on my mind. The examples I immediately thought of were tempering steel and clay.

As I thought of the word, it became apparent that the last 13 years of my life had been an exercise in tempering, but the first two definitions were not the most accurate me, the one that really fits is one of the last definitions in the Merrian-Webster Dictionary, “ to make stronger or more resilient through hardship, toughen.”

Starting in 1999, I entered full-time ministry with my mother, first as part of a non-profit that provided food and clothing directly to the poor and to other ministries in the Los Angeles area and then December 24, 2000, we started “Agape Love Fellowship International Church in south Los Angeles and the ministry was extended to include street evangelism, a support group, bible study and Sunday Worship services.

In the process of doing this we, my mother and I, lost everything we own… a couple of times, but I remained faithful to the ministry until December 24, 2006, when my mother fell ill and I began to realize that many of the people we were ministering to, and our “home church” (and I use that term loosely) really didn’t have our best interests at heart.

My mother fell ill with a viral infection after my former pastor ordered her to leave the house we shared with another minister, knowing we had no place else to go, and didn’t offer alternative lodging. We stayed in our car the winter of 2006 and that’s when she became sick. She went to the hospital and was prescribed an overdose of antibiotics, which in turn caused Clostridium difficile, also known as C. diff, which is a severe inflammation of the colon, often resulting from eradication of the normal gut flora by antibiotics.^[3]

During her stay in the hospital, several of the members of our home church paid a visit, but our pastor never called or came by. My mother wasn’t even put on the prayer list until she was released from the hospital 11 day later. Considering my mother had served as a pastor, evangelist and intercessor at that church for over 10 years, I believe that this was a travesty, and should have been a signal to her to leave. Members were still calling and asking her for prayer while she was in the hospital, too sick and too weak to walk, and yet when she was in her hour of need, the church as a whole was no help to her.

I tried my best to get my mother to leave that place, but she chose not to and to this day is still a member. She has continued to go through trial after trial and I yet she remains, but this experience change me forever. I began to realize it isn’t just the fact that you serve the Lord that’s important; it’s the people you serve with. I had already severed all ties with that church before my mother’s illness, but her refusal to separate herself from that place after the illness caused me to sever ties from my mother’s church as well. I knew it was time to go my own way.

When I moved to Chicago in the summer of 2007, I was in need of a change and completely disillusioned. I needed to be in a place that wasn’t so hostile… where I could feel the love of family… where I could heal. I needed “home”… but can you really ever go “home” again?

Well, suffice it to say that “home” wasn’t exactly the way I envisioned it, but it was a real education. I’ve written about some of my experiences there in earlier blog posts… being hit by a car while walking across the street… the estrangement with my father and other members of my family… my experience teaching… it wasn’t exactly the welcome I was hoping for, but I did learn how to manage myself. I developed “equipoise”, a much needed state of equilibrium that taught me how to counter the extremes of that city, the experiences I’d had in the last 13 years of my life and the extremes in my faith… the differences between what the word of God says and the what I had experienced in today’s “New and Improved” Christianity. In this very hostile environment, I found MY faith… my very own tried and true faith that has sustained me and has indeed, made me stronger.

At the beginning of this post, I defined “tempering” as, “to make stronger or more resilient through hardship, toughen.” I can see with all certainty that I have been tempered. What did not kill me, has indeed made me stronger and I will “I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:14)

What Is Beauty?

2012-11-21T19:19:00.000-08:00

What is beauty? I have always been a little... shall we say... different when it come to seeing beauty. This was really evident when I was little, because then, if you were nice, you were pretty. It didn't matter what you looked like to anyone else. And if you you were mean... well, you weren't pretty and no one could tell me different. I honestly could not see what others saw and had quite a few arguments with my Grandmother over who was "pretty" (which to me meant good) and who wasn't in our family, with me defending those who I felt were beautiful against her obvious poor judgement.

Well as time went on and I became more aware of the world around me and attempted to find my placement it, the rose colored glasses I viewed the world through in my youth faded and became more clear. I began to recognize what the rest of the world saw. Who was attractive and who wasn't. Who was popular and who wasn't. Who was acceptable and who wasn't, but I am happy to report that although my eyes may recognize what the world sees, my heart doesn't. It still sees beauty as truth, kindness, gentleness, courage, as noble.

For me, beauty is and will always be an issue of character and not how much you paid for your clothes or how popular you are or how pretty the world thinks you are... all of which can change at any given moment, depending on what's in vogue. Merrian-Webster's Dictionary defines "beauty" as, "the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing, that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. Loveliness." "Loveliness" is defined as, "eliciting love by moral or ideal worth" and I agree. Beauty for me is lovely. It is a loving action or a person who shows love... love for others as well as love for God.

I have had the honor of knowing people who to look at, wouldn't warrant a mention, but whose actions and hearts were so beautiful, they moved me to tears. I am still nourished by their love, even though many are long gone. My Aunt Willie Mae, my Grandfathers William Howell and James Robinson, without their teaching, love and guidance, I would't be here today. Mrs. Frank, Sis. Therese, Father Gillian, Pastor Daryl Coley, Pastor Pearl Taylor and Pastor Chris Kringle (and yes that was really his name), whose instruction, spiritual guidance and prayers continue to inform and cover me and whose example of what it means to be a servant, a leader, a king and a priest, I find so very beautiful.

None of the men and women mentioned above would be considered beautiful by today's standards. They didn't drive fancy cars or have flashy wardrobes. Many of them didn't have big degrees. They wouldn't be voted prom King or Queen. They wouldn't be elected politicians or celebrities, but they were... and are still more beautiful to me than you will ever know. I have come to the conclusion that what I instinctively knew as a child, and what the word of God confirms for me today, is that what is truly beautiful in life... is love... in all it's forms, and God is love (1 Jn. 4:7). "Now abideth faith, hope, love these three, but the greatest of these is love" (1 Cor. 13:13).

So to answer the question I posed at the beginning of the post, "what is beauty?", for me, the answer is simple, beauty is the manifestation of the love of God in the world... Beauty is God.

Hanging On To The Rock

2012-10-18T16:13:00.002-07:00

I unfortunately have never learned how to swim, and that deficit in my abilities was never more clear than the day I almost drowned. I was 15 and it was Memorial Day weekend and I was at the beach with my church youth group.

If you’ve ever swam, or in my case, walked, in the ocean you know it is a very different experience than being in a pool. The bottom shifts and is uneven, undercurrents and waves crash into your body and the motion of the water can be somewhat disorienting, making it difficult to judge distance… disrupting your equilibrium.

That day at the beach I attempted to brave the waters, which seemed tranquil enough at the time and venture out in the waves to meet a group of my friends who seemed to be having a good time in the ocean. The water on them only seemed to be as high as their waists and they seemed to have no problem dealing with the waves. “How hard could it be?” I thought.

As I took my first steps, it became apparent that this journey was not going to be as easy as I thought. The shifting sand beneath my feet seemed to disappear and I found myself sinking if I stayed in one place too long. With each step, I seemed to sink deeper and deeper and water was already at my waist and I hadn’t even completed half of the journey. As I stood wondering why I was so deep in water and I hadn’t gone half the distance my friends had, I decided to take one more step, and if that didn’t work, I would turn and go back to shore.

Suddenly my head was under water and I couldn’t feel the bottom. I was thrashing around frantically, trying to remember everything I had heard about swimming… just trying to keep my head above water and somehow, in all that panic, I managed to flail over to barnacle encrusted rock. It was slimy and smelled of old fish and the barnacles cut my fingertips, but I clung to that rock for dear life, because that rock was the only thing keeping my head above water.

Eventually, I was able to call out to one of my friends enjoying the waves in the distance and she came and somehow got me safely to shore.

As I look back and think about that day and how my friend and I sat on the beach in stunned silence… both of us too afraid to speak out loud about the tragedy that almost took place, I think of that rock, how steadfast and true it was… barnacles and all… in my moment of need.

Psalms 61:2 says, “from the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” That day, my Rock was covered in jagged crustaceans and smelled bad… not the best of conditions… and as with most things in life of value, it wasn’t easy to hang on to. You have to be willing to get past the circumstances that surround the Rock.

When Paul and Silas were in prison, it was their knowledge of Christ as Savior that was their Rock, but it was also the reason they were in prison… and yet they hung on. The Rock that John the Evangelist hung on to… that gave us the book of Revelation and the Gospel of John… also got him imprisoned on the isle of Patmos and boiled alive in oil (although he didn't die)… and yet he continued to hang on. The Rock that Joan of Arc hung on to, the fact that she heard from God… eventually got her burned at the stake, by the Catholic Church no less… the church she loved and had helped.

My experience with hanging on to that barnacle encrusted… slimy… smelly rock wasn’t nearly as challenging or as dramatic as John or Paul or Joan of Arc, but it was just as important. If I hadn’t, I might not be here today. If I hadn’t, I might not have learned an important lesson that has enabled me to hang on in more recent and more spiritually trying times. Hanging on to the Rock is never easy, but it is always… ALWAYS… worth it.

Where Were You On 9/11?

2012-09-11T18:03:00.000-07:00

On this day in 2001, 19 terrorists hijacked four jet airliners and flew two of them into the World Trade Center, one into the Pentagon while the fourth was commandeered by brave citizens who sacrificed their lives and crashed it into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania. I remember September 11, 2001 in great detail (as I am sure many do)... I remember exactly what I was doing when I got a call from a friend, telling me to turn on the TV. A plane had crashed into the World Trade Center. I remember my shock and horror at seeing the smoke billowing from the building and how stunned I was to see the second plane hit the second tower. I couldn't believe that this was happening on American soil. This was the kind of thing that happened in war- torn countries... “over there” somewhere, then I came to myself and I knew exactly what I needed to do.

I got dressed as quickly as possible, got in my car and drove straight to church... to intercessory prayer, where I knew I could be of the greatest service to all those who were hurting in New York and D.C. As I walked in the door and stood before the intercessory prayer leader, the first words out of my mouth were, “reporting for duty”... which really shocked me because I had never served in the military and the whole idea seemed foreign to me, but I knew it was real, I knew I meant it and I knew I was there to “throw down”. I knew that this wasn't just a physical battle, but a spiritual one and I was there to “war in the spirit”... for the protection of my country, for the solace of the families who lost loved ones and for those whose lives were hanging in the balance... that they would live and not die. That was a very intense prayer session. I spent several hours there praying, crying, travailing... by the time I left, I was spent... but I knew I had to do something more.

As the days progressed and more news came forward, I found myself watching TBN. Paul Crouch was interviewing a pastor from a church at ground zero. The pastor talked about how ministries from all over the world were coming to “help” in New York, but few took the time to find out what the ministries already there were in need of... and it was not very helpful to the ministries who were already there... who knew the people and the lay of the land. The number for this pastor's church flashed on the lower part of the screen and thought... “I'll call. Maybe I can leave a message for the pastor, get an address to send them something... anything”. I dialed the number and to my amazement, the associate pastor answered. I was so shocked to hear an actual human being on the other end, it took a second before I could speak. The associate pastor and I had a brief but very nice conversation and it was surprisingly joyful. He and his congregation had been through a lot and were definitely in need, but what they needed most was prayer and it was so good to speak with a fellow laborer and to know he was o.k., that his spirits were high and to encourage one another. At that moment, I decided it was time I got to know more of the body.

I spent the next couple of months visiting other ministries... doing street evangelism with Dream Center here in Los Angeles, visiting Dyan Cannon's ministry, “God's Party”, I even found the Quaker House at USC and tried to make contact with them (we were never able to connect). We increased street evangelism at my home church and at the church were my mother pastored. I made a special effort at her church to highlight how special this country is to God, how important the people in this minority, urban community are to God and how they should celebrate God's love for them and rejoice in being an American, because I know due to bad treatment, that is something some minorities have a hard time doing. I wanted that community to know that no matter what anyone may have said to them or about them, God wanted them here, God loves them and to walk in full ownership of the rights, privileges and responsibilities of being an American... and above all, to defend it.

That 4^th of July, I along with a group from my mother's little church (about 6 of us... and that was probably a third of the church) stood on the corner of Crenshaw and Hyde Park in South Los Angeles, sparklers and little flags in hand, and sang the Star Spangle Banner and “Battle Hymn of the Republic” at the top of our lungs, waving little flags, waving at cars and praying for people as they walked down the street.... people who needed prayer... people who gave a nod or words of support... people who wanted to join in, and some did. Passing drivers honked their horns and waved. It was a good 4^th of July, one of the best in my life and I was proud to be an American. Proud to be born in a place where these words were true “We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness...”