Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Nick Thacker of LiveHacked.com.

Remember what it was like the first few weeks in a foreign language class? The first couple days learning a new musical instrument? HTML or Javascript? Or what about the first few days of a new workout?

They’re easy—the first period of developmental progress in just about anything comes with the reward of great results.

When I first started playing trombone, I enjoyed the same sort of success—I was getting better and better, and putting in very little effort to do so. Throughout my grade school years, and even into college, my improvement slowed a little, but I was still achieving great gains in my playing ability.

But I wasn’t even close to “hands-down amazing.”

Malcolm Gladwell, in his book Outliers, says it takes 10,000 hours to get to the level of “hands-down amazing” (my words, not his) that gets people noticed. If you do the math, you’ll realize I was somewhere near my 5,000^th hour of playing trombone—thousands of hours short of reaching “hands-down amazing.”

In our professional lives, there’s a point between when we’re considered “good at what we do” and “hands-down amazing.” Seth Godin calls this The Dip:

“Every new project (or job, or hobby, or company) starts out exciting and fun. Then it gets harder and less fun, until it hits a low point-really hard, and not much fun at all.” (source).

So that means that the 5,000^th hour is like the bottom of The Dip—the place where it seems as though all hope is lost—the point where you reach a plateau. No matter what you do, you just can’t seem to “break through” The Dip and get to the next level.

The red pill or the blue pill—recognizing you’re in The Dip.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’re truly in The Dip or just in a dip. For me, growth in my musical abilities was like a staircase, like it is for many of us:

1. You get better.
2. You stop getting better, so you change something about the way you’re doing things.
3. You get better again.

This process continues, until—after you’ve invested countless hours (actually, somewhere around 5,000!) and even dollars—into this particular aspect of your life or work, you just stop getting better altogether.

Period, zip, nada. You’re stuck, and nothing you’ve done before can break you out of The Dip. Godin points out that in most instances, if the prize at the end is worth having, then you’re best off by continuing down the same road—effectively “pushing through” The Dip, no matter how unrelentingly terrible it gets at the 5,000th hour.

So at this point, I had two options: push through and keep studying music, or give up and change course. In life and work, at the point of reaching The Dip you can choose to abandon the work altogether, or you change your methods and keep pushing forward.

But do you even want to continue?

Sometimes we second-guess what it is we’re trying to do—to find out if it’s truly “worth it.” This is what The Dip tries to help you figure out. Go read it—I won’t get into it here.

Either way—whether you decide to “push through” or not—you need to get clarity. Clarity comes when we specifically, purposefully, and physically outline our goals, and once we have clarity in this particular Dip, we can make a decision about how best to proceed.

To achieve clarity, write down (now!) the answers to these questions:

1. What is the “light” at the end of your tunnel? To perform in Carnegie Hall? To be the biggest blogger on the block?
2. Why do you want to reach the light (What does it mean for you to achieve it)? Money? Happiness? Fulfillment or recognition?
3. If you weren’t pushing toward [insert your light at the end of your tunnel], what would you be doing?

Once you’ve answered these questions as honestly as you’re able, you should be at a point where you’re more clear about how best to proceed. When I took this “test,” I found these answers:

1. The “light” at the end of my tunnel was working on my own terms, with the ability to create and build things.
2. I wanted to reach the light because that meant I’d achieved a dream, and I had the means to provide for a family while doing something I loved.
3. If I wasn’t pushing toward that light, I’d be pushing toward something for someone else—an unfulfilling (at best) lifestyle for me.

I achieved clarity at that moment and decided that it didn’t matter if I didn’t become a great trombone player, band director, or composer. These were things I liked to do, but I didn’t feel the need to push toward them all day, every day.

At that point, I changed the game.

From then on, I started taking business courses—specifically marketing and entrepreneurship courses, and joined a business organization that let me throw ideas around with other like-minded individuals.

The “rules” of college were to go to school for four years, take classes that let you work toward a certain degree, and then graduate with the best grades possible.

I changed the rules, and subsequently changed course in my life.

If you want to push through The Dip and make it to the other side, or if you want to change course altogether, you need to change the rules. Don’t adhere to the status quo, or go about the normal course of action. To change the rules, and change the game, you can try a few things that have helped me:

1. Be a fringe player. If everyone’s going one direction, go the other.
2. Study something new. If you’re in a line of work that deals with people, take a few courses on animal science or computer programming.
3. Try a “difficult” hobby. I like hobbies, but the ones that really change my life are the ones that take much more focus and in-depth study. Try building a nuclear reactor, or a car from a kit.
4. Write about it. Writing, as a hobby, is a great release from the pressures of the world. Writing can be a “game changer” though we you do it persistently and actively enough to help other people who are experiencing a similar Dip.
5. Quit. Recognize what it was about your particular area of study or work that you loved, and take it with you into another field. For me, playing trombone wasn’t the draw—it was creating something (music) from nothing. Now, I write and create things from nothing all the time, but music is rarely involved.

Fighting through your Dip will be tricky—it’s supposed to be. It’s the design of it; it keeps true experts scarce and the rest of the world in demand. If you truly desire the “light” at the end of your tunnel—at the other side of The Dip—stick through, make it work, change the game, and get there.

If you’re not sure, or know that you no longer want that light, change course by changing the game. Sometimes it really is best to give up.

It’s the most freeing, awesome experience I’ve had, to feel the risk of it while seeing the limitless possibilities out there for me.

Give it a shot—what’s Your Dip, and what’s your decision?

Nick Thacker is a writer, blogger, and author, who teaches people to live better through creating and building their online platform. He blogs at LiveHacked.com.

photo courtesy of Jacob Bøtter

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“How did I end up here?” I thought to myself as I peered over the sea in southern Spain.

I lived in Spain for the whole of 2010 with my girlfriend and our miniature schnauzer, Cleo.

We roamed the beaches in January and prayed for rain in July. It was amazing. But it didn’t happen overnight

It took years of self-discovery and struggle for me to start making a living online.

And one of the biggest obstacles was undervaluing what I had to offer.

It penetrated every inch of my life like a rusty nail. It wasn’t just about selling stuff. It was also about how I lived life and the opportunities I pursued.

Looking back, I see seven distinct areas that held me back for a long time.

And those are exactly the areas we’ll cover right now.

Let’s start with the first one.

1. Why You?

One of the first obstacles I ran into was: why me?

What made me so special? Why did I deserve to get paid to do what I love and live life on my own terms?

The answer was simple: because I wanted to, and because I knew I deserved better.

This isn’t about conforming to someone else’s beliefs. This is about living the life you know you deserve.

There will always be naysayers, but it doesn’t matter.

What matters is what you think, because you’re the one who has to live your life.

But knowing you deserve something is not enough, you also have to express who you are, so people can connect with you, which brings us to self-suppression.

2. Self-Suppression

If you aren’t expressing who you really are, you won’t attract the right clients and customers.

Putting yourself out there can be tough.

It’s a fear everyone has in the beginning.

But in the end, you alone have to decide, do you want to stay in a safe imaginary bubble, or do you want to take the leap?

No one said this was going to be easy. The courage to express yourself happens gradually.

And when you can express yourself, it’s time to create a kick-ass offer, but what usually happens is people create an offer that flops.

3. Crafting a Weak Offer

It’s not enough to attract an audience; you have to make them a powerful offer. In other words, you have to sell something excellent.

And this is not just about selling. It’s about helping the people that are the most motivated.

It’s easy to create vague and weak offers, which is what most people do, and then they wonder why nothing happens.

A compelling offer is Jonathan’s TrailBlazer, where he shows you how to make $1,000 in 6-months doing what you love.

It paints a clear picture in your mind of what the end result looks like, and that is exactly what you have to do to create your first product or service.

Be specific, be bold, and embrace the fear, but avoid the trap of undervaluing your offer.

4. Undervaluing Your Offer

When you have a compelling offer, you have to price it right.

Too low and people will think it’s worthless.

Too high and people will think it’s worth less ;).

The correct pricing comes from experimentation. Start low, increase the price, and keep experimenting.

This is what I’ve done with one of my products, Passionate Living. It started off as a simple ebook for $9.95, but the price has slowly climbed to $17, $27 and now $42 as I’ve improved and made it into a full-blown course.

Don’t look for instant perfection, focus on constant improvement.

When you know you have something great to offer, you’re on the right path, but you’re not quite there, because you still have to tell people about it, which brings us to selling.

5. Selling Avoidance

Ah, selling.

It’s sleazy, right?

Well, not really. You can use high-pressure tactics and yellow highlighter, but it is you who control how you sell.

The fundamental elements of selling still apply: risk reversal, urgency, features, benefits, and so on.

If you don’t tell people about what you have to offer, they won’t know.

You’d be surprised at how often people don’t even know you’re selling something unless you tell them about it regularly.

And those who think you’re selling too much?

They aren’t the right people for you. Let them go, and move on.

As you leave your qualms about selling in the dust, it’s time to approach the next obstacle, which is making connections and dare I say, networking?

6. Scared Networking

If you don’t get the word out, no one is going to find what you have to offer, which means the probability of failure goes up dramatically.

And we don’t want that, do we?

For a long time, I was confused by networking. I’m an introvert and I don’t particularly enjoy “networking.”

Once I shifted my perspective from “networking” to just having fun with people that I resonate with, things changed.

The secret is to be yourself when talking to new people. Make friends and have fun. Don’t look for magic bullets, because they do not exist.

Don’t apologize for who you are. If people don’t like you, you move on.

When you’ve overcome all of the six pitfalls we’ve covered so far, you’ll have begun shifting your perspective on life.

Most people live and operate out of fear, and I did, too, for a long time. It’s a big problem, and it needs to stop now.

7. Fear-Centered Living

Most walk around afraid of everything, blaming everyone else for their luck, and staying stuck in a victim mentality.

And it’s not until you shift it into taking responsibility for your life that things change.

Most people are unwilling to do this, because it’s uncomfortable.

But the truth of the matter is that if you’re not getting the results you want, it’s up to you to do something about it.

If at first you fail, you get up, and you keep going.

Simple, but powerful advice.

Do You Ever Undervalue Yourself?

As I sat on that beautiful beach and marveled at the sea, I wondered what else life would have in store for me.

You just never know what will happen until it happens.

We worry, procrastinate and put things off, but nothing really changes. If you want something, you have to go for it right now.

If you want to get paid to live on your own terms, you can do so, but it won’t necessarily happen without struggle.

You might undervalue yourself in the beginning, but as you keep going, it will pass.

And this brings us to my question: Do you ever struggle with undervaluing yourself?

About the Author: Henri writes over at Wake Up Cloud, where he shows you how to build a lifestyle business around your passion. If you’re interested, check out his free report: 7 Steps to Building a Lifestyle Business Around Your Passion.

photo courtesy of paul(dex)

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Jason over at Tribe.ly 

72% of us dream about living life on our own terms, escaping the day job, breaking down the cubicle walls and adventuring into business for ourselves. Since you’re reading this blog, I’m going out on a limb here and guessing that you are part of this overwhelming majority. I was too.

In late 2004, I was approaching 9 years at my job. I worked in a management position for the largest privately held corporation in Philadelphia. I was being compensated well with a 6-figure salary and benefits package.

I managed to make a 1 hour commute through traffic into the city in the morning.
I spent an average of 10 hours in the cube daily.
And then another 1 hour commute through traffic back out of the city in the evening.

50% of my life during the week was dedicated to growing someone else’s business.
33% of my life during the week was sleep; replenishing my energy to grow someone else’s business.

That left me with 17% of my life to split between my wife, my two young children, and myself.
I sold 83% of me so I could try and “live on my own terms” 17% of the time.

I was comfortable, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming about what it would look like to live life on my own terms 100%.

You know the dream. You reject the identity of being a cog in someone else’s wheel. There is something inside of you drawing you into a greater purpose… be still; listen.

The Search for Fulfillment

I enjoyed my work, my coworkers, my compensation and quite honestly it wasn’t a bad company to work for at all. I was young, and in a position to be groomed for higher responsibilities and next stages of leadership. My accomplishments and achievements for this company were something to be truly proud of. I was the youngest person in company history to ever be recognized by the President personally for an award. When times got tough for the company, and others were being laid off around me, my job remained. I was really very fortunate to be in the position that I was.

Yet, there was something very wrong. Something inside of me. There was an emptiness and a longing to enter into something bigger. I was completely unfulfilled. I felt underutilized, limited, and held back by corporate politics and ceilings of positional career growth. I had ambitions of offering my talents and strengths to the world outside of the limitations that I felt at the company.

Fulfillment to me didn’t look like a paycheck, or a benefits package, or a stable job, or a career path.

Fulfillment to me, was the pursuit of the dream. I didn’t really have a choice. I was compelled to respond to that spark inside that was calling me into something greater.

The Overwhelming Chasm

As I took inventory of my situation, this is what I saw:

• Young family, dependent on me as “bread-winner”
• Big house in the suburbs = big mortgage
• Debt that we accumulated early on but were chipping away at
• All savings invested in retirement plan
• Limited extra time in the day to invest in building my dream
• Early signs of an economy moving downward

The visual that I was left with was this huge gap between my dream, and my current situation. Imagine standing on the edge of one side of the Grand Canyon. If you’ve ever been there, you know the feeling… your heart skips a few beats and you find yourself breathless as you approach the edge. A massive chasm, very wide and very deep, standing between you and the other side.

The reason most of you will never quit your day job, statistically speaking, is because this chasm will always be insurmountable in your mind. Most of you will systematically attempt to eliminate each item on the list. Everyone’s list of challenges standing in the way is different, and the list is ever-changing with the ebbs and flows of life. In many cases, new items are added faster then you can remove them. It’s only natural for you to work toward eliminating all obstacles; narrowing the chasm so that in the end you can simply step across, without any risk at all.

After 6 months of deliberation, standing on the edge, heavily weighing my own chasm of obstacles, I came to a profound realization. If I’m ever going to go after the dream, and get to the other side, I must jump.

So I jumped.

A Big Shock: After Taking the Leap

We had a little bit of a parachute… some savings and some clients that would give us a bit of time before crashing to the ground.

But it wasn’t enough.

2 years after taking the leap, my family and I watched our house get foreclosed on, our cars get towed away, and our debts climb to unbearable heights. Our marriage was on the rocks… we were both suffering through heavy bouts of depression. We had crashed into the bottom of the canyon floor, and found ourselves completely broken.

If my story ended here, with my family and I in pieces on the ground after a long fall, I honestly do not believe I would be here to write this today. It is critical for you to understand how far we fell and how messed up things got as a result of our choice to jump. Without that perspective and understanding, you wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate what happened next.

You see, the shock wasn’t that we found ourselves crashing, and later picking up the pieces on the bottom floor.

The shock came as we started to piece our lives and ourselves back together… we stumbled upon a remarkable discovery. As we began to help each other up, and stand again, there was something very different about us. We were changed. We had wings. We could fly.

So we flew.

We experienced a wholeness as a family, and wholeness as individuals that we’ve never experienced before. The story that developed and grew out of our brokenness and our newfound ability to fly became a platform, and a place where we could help others. You see, that original dream that we so desperately wanted to reach was replaced with something greater. As we spread our wings and flew up above the canyon, we were able to see life from a new perspective, and were able to recognize that the original dream was too small. Inside of us, existed a new strength and power, an incredible flame, that rose out of our story. The flame has compelled us to inspire, and help people in the various stages of their own process of following their dreams.

It all starts with the spark.

Your Small Spark Can Change the World

My hope is that my story will not scare you from taking the jump into the chasm in your own life, but that it will inspire you into a realization that you have wings to fly. Everyone has their own journey, and yours will look different then mine. Doors will open and they will close. Some will need to be broken more than others, and some will learn how to fly before they reach the bottom.

The small spark inside of you is trying to get your attention. May you respond and allow it to grow into a flame that will compel you to step into your purpose and change the world around you.

As you enter into the next steps in your own journey, I’ve prepared a gift for you to offer further inspiration and support — its a free eBook, “The Tribe Builder’s Manifesto — Your Small Spark Can Change the World“. Please download and share it. I would also love to hear about your story and your spark — please leave a comment below!

About the Author:  Jason writes at TRIBE.LY, a blog about building tribes that can make positive change in the world.  He has a passion for helping people start TRIBES with ONE leader, ONE idea, and ONE community.  He believes that everyone has a spark within themselves that has the power to change lives and send positive ripples into the world.  Begin to understand your spark by downloading “The Tribe Builder’s Manifesto: Spark a Movement. Change the World.” for free at this link.

photo courtesy of  jpoage

What’s keeping you from your great work?

You’ve read the stories: the artists, the writers, the musicians, the visionaries—quitting their jobs to follow their dreams and actually making it.

You want that life, so much you can taste it. It’s not that you don’t know how. So why aren’t you living it? What do those people have that you don’t?

Personally, I always assumed it was an exemption from the rules of reality. Those people had been sprinkled with some kind of magical “special dust” at birth, and everything they touched turned to gold. I, on the other hand, was just a regular person, so it couldn’t happen for me. I’d better stay in my cubicle, keep my head down, and be grateful I didn’t have it worse.

But somehow, I just couldn’t rest. I felt like I was wasting my life, marking time, watching it all slip away. The thought of waking up in 10 years, still doing the same thing, made me want to scream. Ten years, hell—even the thought of waking up Monday required a lot of mental sedation.

I found that I could get through my life just fine if I shut off my brain and coasted during the boring parts. Unfortunately, the boring parts were almost everything I did. If I kept coasting and fast-forwarding, exactly where was I trying to get? The end?

The thought terrified me. When was I going to do the actual living part?

A wake-up call

Then one day, something terrible happened at the university where I worked. One of the biology professors went into a Friday afternoon faculty meeting and started shooting her colleagues. Three people died, and more would have if the gun hadn’t jammed.

It was a total shock, and the university community staggered through the rest of the semester in a confused, wounded daze.

Nobody knew what to do… except the remaining biology professors. They organized memorials and support groups, comforted and leaned on each other, and got back into the classrooms and the research labs. They couldn’t stand to have this tragedy keep them from their important work.

These profs could easily have sued the university for mental anguish and never had to work again. But they really wanted to get back to doing what they loved, so that’s what they did.

In my beige, zoned-out existence, I could barely comprehend it. But I knew I had to make my life like that.

These professors weren’t non-conformists, revolutionaries, or miracle people. On the contrary, they had tenure and a pension plan. Yet they had created a life they wouldn’t change, even after facing down death.

If they could do it, maybe I could, too. So I started trying. After a lot of false starts and a ton of hard work (not to mention invaluable guidance from Jonathan!), I quit my job last summer. I’m as ordinary as they come, but I’m following my dream.

What it really takes

What I’ve learned is that living your dream life has nothing to do with specialness. It’s not even a matter of hard work—you need that, but it’s not enough.

The biggest thing standing between most people and their dreams is themselves.

We know the official reasons why we can’t do something. It’s dangerous, we don’t have enough money, we don’t know how, we’re too busy, it’s too hard, we’re tired, we have to take care of the kids/wife/dog/hamster.

But the truth is, we’re afraid of our dreams. We cling to these excuses because we know that, as long as we have them, we’re off the hook. We can keep things as they are: known and safe. We don’t have to risk making fools of ourselves or failing.

The only problem is, when we do the mental calculation and decide our dreams are too risky, we never figure in the cost of staying put. The cost of spending 20 years marking time, doing things you don’t care about. The cost of all the aspirin required to ease your daily boredom headache. The cost of all the hours and days when you shut off your brain and press fast-forward.

If you truly want to follow your dream, the key is recognizing your fear. Name it, face it, pin it down. Then overcome it and do what you want to do. Your life is waiting.

My special gift to Illuminated Mind readers

I know how hard it is to overcome your fears and go after your dreams. Jonathan has helped me with mine, more than I can ever express, so I’d like to give something back to him, and to you. (In case you couldn’t tell, Jonathan is my hero and I’d follow him anywhere!)

That’s why I’ve put together a resource kit just for you. Check it out: Fear-Kicking Dream-Following Kit

Here’s what’s inside:

1. “What’s Stopping You?” This guide includes how to figure out what’s holding you back, how to get clear on what you want, how to know whether you should take a risk or listen to your fears (they are right some of the time!), and what to do to make your efforts more likely to succeed.
2. A workbook designed to help you nail down your fears so you can get moving toward your dreams.

Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to check out the Fear-Kicking Dream-Following Kit

About the Author: Cara writes at 17000 Days, a blog about remembering that life is short and making your best days a common occurrence. She’s a big believer in self-reinvention and building your ideal life for yourself. Her latest adventure is Beyond Fear, a workshop on overcoming your fears.

photo courtesy of jeevan jose

This is a guest post from Esme Gosling of EsmeGosling.com; Money Love, Money Smarts

I started to write a post about how money doesn’t matter, that we’re all free, and, therefore, money does not equal freedom. (To see my original post, click here .)

Screw that.

Freedom is about the money. You know the question: “What would you do if money were no object?” If you wouldn’t change a single thing in your life, you wouldn’t be here reading this post. Of course, money makes all of the difference: you’d get a different job or maybe no job; you’d pursue hobbies or volunteer; you would set the world on fire.

You know what you would do, don’t you? Something sprang to mind immediately, didn’t it? Something that can feel inside, and sometimes the pain of not doing it overwhelms you. Whatever your “it” is, that’s why you are here, you want more than anything to make that real.

But you don’t know how to do that without the money. You need the money first before you can pursue the other. Because that’s how it works in the real world, isn’t it? We don’t follow our dreams, we pay our bills; we do the responsible thing.

I might contradict myself here, but I call BS. That’s just a big, hairy excuse disguised as a socially acceptable cop out. Claiming money issues is just a way of hiding behind our fears.

What if your dream is to become a pilot but you can’t distinguish between your girlfriend and your mom at ten paces? You’ll get eye surgery without a second thought (your girlfriend will thank you too). What if you need to lose weight to get your blood pressure down? Call Weight Watchers. Even if you want to have children but you haven’t met anyone? Easy, peasy: sperm donor. There is absolutely nothing is impossible these days. (Yes, the caveat being nothing apart from what ten year old boys can imagine!)

We seem to have a different perspective when it comes to money. What if your dream is to go back to school to get a degree in parapsychology, your dream since childhood, but have no money? Oh, well, working as a parking attendant really isn’t that bad, and I get to read a lot on the job. What if you want to travel around the world in a sailboat but haven’t saved up three months worth of living expenses? Well, maybe one day…in the meantime, I’ll just watch America’s Cup on TV. You’re thinking about starting up your own business but haven’t had any luck with capital? The bank is probably right: these are tough times to start something up.

What is wrong with this mentality? Why is it that as soon as money is mentioned, people lose their fight? Because it’s not about the money; it’s about the fear. It’s about the fear because these are big dreams, huge dreams, dreams that matter so much that you don’t want them to fail. And you can’t fail if you don’t start. Voila: by listening to your money woes, you will never fail.

If you are waiting for the money first, you will be waiting a long time. If you have a dream, a passion, a calling, and you are not acting on it, you will never be successful at what you are currently doing because your heart isn’t in it. It can’t be. How does it make sense to make more money doing what you are doing now (but hating), so that one day you will be able to do what you love? That’s about as sensible as dieting for months so that you can pig out on your Mexican cruise (oh, wait, people do that…) or waiting until you are 65 to start living your life (hmm, ditto that). Enough already! It’s time to put your fears aside and do what you need to do, money be damned.

And, yes, I can say that but not because I don’t live in the real world and have an Internet provider who likes to be paid every month. Right now, I am sitting at home, writing this as my daughter has her afternoon nap, knowing that I will be here when she gets up and then I will switch back into mummy mode. I used to work as an accounting clerk, maybe like some of you, and it was killing me. I don’t even have a background in accounting, so not only did I hate the work, but I felt like a fraud at the same time. (Long story…) How bad is that? I left my job when I took maternity leave and knew that I would never go back. I didn’t know how, I just knew that I was tired of living in fear. I followed my passion and trained to become a life coach (helping people with their money issues, of course!) and don’t regret the choice I made. If anything, I wonder why I took so long. I did this all as a single mum with three kids and no financial backup plan. So don’t tell me that your money excuse is valid and mine wasn’t. I know what it’s like to taste the fear. And to choose to be free anyway.

What does freedom look like to you? What money excuse is standing in your way? And what are you going to do about it?

About the Author: Esme Gosling is a no-nonsense Money Coach who believes in helping others deal with their money issues so that they can kick butt and achieve awesome. To get real about your money issues, sign up for a free coaching session at www.esmegosling.com.

photo courtesy of: Robinn-GK

But was that what you were brought on this earth to do? Play someone else’s game, follow in someone else’s footsteps?

I don’t think so.

When you ride waves, you’re always behind. You’re always trying to catch up with the latest trend, the newest marketing tactic. Today it’s Pinterest, yesterday it was Google Plus.

Last century it was the American Dream. Now it’s the Lifestyle Design Dream.

Whatever tribe you’re trying to serve, whatever market you’re in, it’s inevitable that you’ll encounter trends and crazes that quickly become bandwagons.

The question is, will you attempt to frantically ride these waves, or will you create your own?

On doing what’s been done

Doing what’s already been done is inevitably a much safer path than pioneering your own. But going this route means that you’re always trying to catch up. Because you’re always following, you’re never ahead.

You’re simply trying to implement the latest marketing tactic or trick so you can catch up to what everyone else is doing. At best, you may implement the latest trend slightly earlier than everyone else.

Bcause you’re wave-chasing, you’re always in reactive mode. You’re never thinking strategically, you’re just reactively trying to incorporate the latest trend into your own work.

This type of wave-chasing is not only arduous, but it’s a never ending game. There will inevitably be a new fad, a new flavor of the month. You’ll have to hurry to employ it just a little quicker than everyone else before it becomes outdated.

Trends inevitability fall out of vogue before long. Like any bandwagon that people jump on, it loses its luster and becomes a requirement to not fail.

The lifecycle of marketing trends

1. Stage one: Someone creates a new, effective tactic. The creator and early implementers reap the lion’s share of the benefits.
2. Stage two: The trend takes hold and everyone rushes frantically to implement it. This is what wave-chasers do. They experience some benefits, but by this time it’s already becoming outdated.
3. Stage three: The trend or tactic has lost its effectiveness. Now utilizing it is simply a requirement to not fail.

As you can probably tell, this is a losing battle. Not only are you always in monkey-mode (trying to copy what the gurus are doing), it’s also exhausting.

So how do we stop wave-chasing?

If you want to create something truly great, if you want to be number one in the race, you absolutely must play your own game.

Don’t try to be the next Steve Jobs or the next Maynard Keenan. Be the next you. Explore the uncharted stretches of your own path — the one that’s waiting to be released inside you. The one that’s dark, expansive and blissfully terrifying (yes, bliss and fear can actually coexist).

Stop trying to chase waves. Stop listening to the experts. Stop reacting to the latest and greatest.

Start creating your own game. Tear everything down and build your own empire from the ground up. On your terms.

It will be perhaps the hardest work of your life. But it will by far be the most rewarding.

**************

Want to learn more about creating waves and creating a path you never want to stop walking? Join me on this gratis webinar on opting out of the template and creating work you never want to escape from.

Click here to reserve your seat.

It’s burning a hole in your gut, and it’s taking everything you can to not let it burst out from within you.

But instead of fireworks and a blaze of glory…

Dead air.

Somewhere between the passion, the avalanche of ideas, and the torrent of enthusiasm entered a familiar foe: the Voice of “Reason.”

Cunningly, he pretends to be your friend, your ally, and most importantly, your Protector. He’ll keep you safe from the critics and failures, he tells you. He’ll keep you swaddled in the hypnotic warmth of reason and a cocoon of bubble-wrapped existence.

Shadowed in his well intentioned promises of security and comfort, though, is a sinking sense of defeat; a disbelief and decay of the great adventure that was dying to be born within you.

Why the voice exists, or why we second-guess ourselves

Other than our instinctual drive to cling to the known, perhaps that greatest catalyst for the voice of reason comes from our inability to see our gifts.

Because our talents are so ingrained into who we are, they become invisible. Like a person with bad eyes days without glasses, we forget how clear the world looks when our vision is impaired.

The reason we don’t believe in and adequately value our talents is because we our unable to see our own greatness. Our incredible gifts are so second-nature to us that we are unable to see how great they are. Because of that, we don’t acknowledge our own genius.

It’s just the thing you do. It’s just what you’ve always done.

It’s so average, so normal… how can it be great?

Well, I’m here to tell you that it is. You have immense value to give to the world. And there are so many people that would marvel at what you do because to them you’re speaking another language. In their eyes you might as well be a magician.

Find that hard to believe? Let this settle in:

We second-guess what’s second-nature

Whatever our gift is, we second guess it because it’s so natural, so innate. And because of that we must periodically and deliberately remind ourselves of the value that we bring to the world.

Specifically, there are three things to help you stop second-guessing yourself:

1. Save thank you notes, emails, and words of encouragement, and refer to them on a regular basis. On a weekly or monthly basis go back to those encouraging notes and let them sink in. Really acknowledge just how appreciated and valuable you are to others. (If you’re just starting and don’t have many of these, imagine in the future when your inbox is flooded with them and think about how wonderful it will feel to have such a huge impact.)
2. Solicit your future self for perspective. Imagine a conversation with yourself 10 years into the future. What would she say about how far you’ve come? How proud would the you 10 years ago be about what you’ve overcome?
3. Bask in your former glory. Think back to two or three instances in your past when you’ve done something you were truly proud of, times when you really felt you did something that mattered. Maybe it was partnering on an important community project, writing a short story, or just helping a friend solve a challenging problem. Take a moment to remember that your gifts and talents are appreciated and needed.

Perhaps the biggest dream-killer of all is comparing yourself to others. You don’t have to be Jimi Hendrix to call yourself a musician. You don’t have to be a black belt in Karate to call yourself a martial artist.

You can be on the path, and help others along the way. You can own your greatness no matter how far you’ve come. Keep plodding along and it’s just a matter of time before you make your mark on the world.

My question for you today is this: What will you do today to cultivate and acknowledge your value to the world?

PS: We’re holding a no-cost event soon on fully stepping into your greatness to live and work on your own terms. I believe the world needs the value you have to bring. You can join us here to reserve your seat.

photo courtesy of marco

Brett has a very important message that I hope you’ll pay close attention to. It’s a story about the reality of the American prison system, and what we can do to begin changing it.

It’s hardly a popular topic. But it’s a message that desperately needs to be heard. Brett has launched a Kickstarter project to fund the book he’s currently writing. If you feel impacted by this work, take a look at the Kickstarter page and see how you can help.

Enter Brett Henley:

As a writer, permission from gatekeepers is no longer a decisive factor in publishing. There are few traditional maps, if any, that blueprint a path to success.

With a diverse and rapidly shifting idea market comes a new set of challenges. Attention and influence are more competitive than ever, which means passion and talent aren’t always enough to push through the wall of noise.

So how do you break through and gain influence without selling your soul?

The age of movement

Today, socially-conscious creatives are given the tools to draw our own maps with nearly limitless possibilities for sharing our work with the world.

The key is to just create, to ship our work, and ship often.

With this in mind, my journey started with a simple core conviction: Share a story that needed to be told, by whatever means necessary.

Combining a transparent, work-in-progress format with an online platform (in this case a blog), we set out to build a community who were emotionally invested in the success of our story.

By tackling both creation and sharing simultaneously, we opened ourselves to a wide spectrum of resource challenges.

Enter Kickstarter

I spent 6 months researching case studies from the top funded Kickstarter projects.

I dove head first into data from successfully funded projects – from the most active pledge tiers ($25) to more finite data on the optimal time frame for a Kickstarter project (30 days) and much more.

I shelved the process for a time to refocus on the story, but I kept circling back to the importance of shipping. In order to get our story out into the world, I had to be more proactive.

So on a Sunday evening in mid-February, I sat down at the computer and started building a Kickstarter project.

I trusted my instincts, ignoring the voices of dissension that screamed you have no idea what the hell you’re stepping into.

The process was equally unpredictable as it was serendipitous.

Two scripts for the video were scrapped days before launch. We settled on a direction 72 hours to launch, shooting and cutting the final project video with 48 hours to go.

I shifted puzzle pieces a hundred times over a 4-week period.

On March 8, 2012, with a few fingertips vice gripping the reigns, I held my breath and pressed launch.

Embracing a necessary alignment

I learned early on how important it is to define expectations before taking the leap.

Successful Kickstarter projects have clearly-defined goals, which adds a necessary level of transparency between project creator and his/her backers. People are more likely to support a project with goals that they are confident the creator can complete.

Using this as a benchmark, our project goals focused on four key areas:

• Build a community of advocates while building funding support
• Support for finishing research process
• Support for writing first manuscript
• Publish first version of i am convicted as an e-book

It’s also important to be clear about what a backer’s pledge will support, so I attributed approximate funding percentages to each project goal – including costs for reward fulfillment.

Defining these core expectations will go a long way in building trust with potential backers.

What you’ll need to launch your own socially-focused Kickstarter

Kickstarter is very clear about their guidelines for acceptable projects.

You can reinforce what’s at stake if your project doesn’t succeed – i.e. why potential supporters NEED your story to be told – as long as you are clear that your primary goal for Kickstarter is to create something finite and tangible.

In creating and successfully launching a socially-focused Kickstarter project, I focused on the following:

1. Align your core message with your core audience. Think concise, simple and impact. What’s in it for them if your project is funded? What happens if it doesn’t?
2. Research successful social projects in your market and beyond. You can narrow down by project type, location and other benchmarks, but study a wide range of data to gain a bigger picture.
3. Read the Kickstarter guidelines to avoid launch delays. For example, projects cannot support a charitable cause, a non-profit mission or support a lifestyle quest.
4. Create a compelling, concise video that captures the essence of your story, your project goals and a clear call to action on how to support. Let the rest unfold in the page copy.
5. Build an agile framework for promotion. I used a spreadsheet to map out weekly milestones and combined personal outreach to friends and family with guest posting, PR, blogging, and more, but left space for adjustments if needed.
6. Delegate weaknesses where/when you can. Be willing to invest cash if necessary.
7. Be proactive with Kickstarter updates. Tell a story with images, audio, video or whatever means at your disposal.
8. Empower your supporters to advocate for your project by giving clear instructions on how to share the good word – even if they don’t pledge.

Kickstarter is a means, not an end

Whether a success or failure, the Kickstarter process has been an invaluable tool in helping me become more comfortable with the uncomfortable – a key component of success, IMO.

But it is only as powerful as what you put in.

Remember this, if nothing else – failure is always an option, standing still is not.

 photo courtesy of LifeSuperCharger

Editors Note: This is a guest post by Joel Runyon of Impossible HQ.

1. Graduate college
2. Climb the corporate ladder.
3. Get a 3% raise every year that barely keeps past with inflation.
4. Wait 5 years for someone to tell you’re you’re qualified for a promotion
5. Stay in line. Don’t cause trouble. Keep climbing and someone else will make sure that everything is okay.

10 years ago, this was still the formula for a good enough living. Unfortunately, things have changed.The old promises can’t be kept any longer. Companies don’t hold on to workers for 30 years. The rapid pace of innovation means your ability to learn is more important than what you know right now – because that information is on it’s way to becoming outdated. In order to survive, you have to adapt.

So things have changed, but the ladder mindset hasn’t. Keep climbing the ladder, you’re told, and ignore that the trade-off isn’t what it used to be. It might not be perfect, but it’s good enough – so you should keep quiet and be happy.

Unfortunately, good enough isn’t good enough. In fact, as average works it’s way to obscurity, it’s costing more and more to settle for good enough, which is worth less and less. But we keep climbing on, convinced that it’s still the best way.

Why?

Ask yourself a few questions:

Who’s Above You?

Do you want to become your boss? If you hesitated for one second, stop climbing.

What’s At The Top?

Once you get to the top, what will you get? A bigger salary, more work, and more stress making someone else rich? Is that what you want? If it’s not. Stop climbing.

STOP CLIMBING

Refuse to climb any more. Opt-out. Be done. Stop climbing. Take the ladder out back. Smash it into pieces. Put it through a wood chipper and use it for mulch in your back yard. Stop climbing and start building.

Building Your Own Ladder

If you want to do what no one’s ever done, you’ll have to do what no one’s ever done. The ladder you’re told to climb probably isn’t the ladder to your dreams. You might end up with a compromise that you convince yourself is worth the tradeoff, but no one will ever build your perfect job and then hand it to you.

You have to make it yourself.

There’s no more passing it off to anyone else. You have to step up and do it yourself. You can no longer blame the ladder you’re on for not giving you what you want and not taking you where you want to go. If you look up and see you don’t  like where you’re headed, start building it in a different direction.

But there’s quite a few changes in this mentality and you’re going to have to deal with a few differences between your old ladder you’re used to climbing and the new one that you’re building.

Building Materials

Climbing

Your corporate ladder is solid aluminum. Made up of an average salary for years that steadily increases if you’re nice and play by the rules. Then, eventually, after dutifully climbing upwards at the pace that others dictate, you’ll have a nice little reward at the end and have a nice little retirement party waiting for you, complete with a nice little watch. Neat. But you can be sure that it’s a fairly steady, and that if you don’t make anyone mad, you can climb carefully rung by rung as fast as they will let you go.

Building

When you build your own ladder, you build it with whatever you can. There will be times you’re scraping the bottom of your piggy bank, building your ladder with whatever you can get your hands on. You’ll be dirt poor. Other times, you might actually find things start clicking and making some headway. You might even make some decent money. But you’re always building with whatever you’ve got. Sometime that’s the aluminum to match the corporate ladder. Other times it’s wood, mud, or whatever else you can get your hands on. It’s not always pretty, but if you keep building, you’ll make some headway.

“Safety”

Climbing

Climbing a ladder is the “safe” choice. The graduated aluminum-made ladder has an A+ rating as decided by popular opinion. Just keep climbing for 30-40 years and everything will be okay. Not only will your company be loyal to you for all that time, but when you’re done, you’ll get a nice fat retirement pension to live out the last few years of your life in comfort.

Unfortunately, reality looks much less favorably than popular opinion on the climbing alternative. With jobs lasting shorter than ever, layoffs everywhere and more companies concerned about creative accounting practices than employee loyalty, the realm of reality would give the corporate ladder a much more humble C rating. Still viable, by all means, but no longer the wonderful actual rating that it’s reputation would suggest.

Building

There’s nothing “safe” about building your ladder – after all, you’re building it, and you have absolutely no experience or qualifications to do so. While the ladder inspectors of popular opinion would say you’re foolish for giving it a shot and rate you with a solid F safety rating, this is good news. You literally have nothing to lose. When you know you might fall, the only limit on what you can build is what risks you’re willing to take. This raises the ceiling on what you’re able to do and literally means there are no limits to the type of ladder you can build other than the ones you place on yourself. You place the trust in yourself rather than an entity that bases their opinion of safety based on what’s most common, rather that the actual integrity of the plan.

Uniformity

It’s better to be a pirate than to join the navy – Steve Jobs.

Climbing

If you choose the corporate ladder, you’ll have a nice shiny ladder. At first it seems great. Purchased directly from Home Depot made of solid aluminum, it’s safety inspected, freshly painted and all yours to climb. It’s also the same one that everyone else has. Start climbing for the next 30 years and you’ll end up in the same place everyone else does. You don’t get too many options. The track you’re on is the one you need to stay on, lock and step with everyone else at a designated pace, in order to be successful. You’re also replaceable. The same uniformity that makes it so convenient to turn off your brain and climb, means it’s also convenient to go find new climbers with new ladders anytime they want. You ladder can be as safe as possible, but if you get it taken away from you, you’re still falling without a net.

Building

Your ladder is the opposite of uniform. It’s absolutely unique. It can be whatever you want it to be. It might not be as pretty or safe as the store bought ones, but it’s yours. It’s not made out of the standardized aluminum that the other ones are and it’s also not prefabricated and handed to you. But it’s yours. You make it what you want it to be. It takes a ton more work, a lot more effort on your part, and you can climb as fast or as slow as you can build. There are no more speed limits. But the best part is that it it’s yours.

Build Your Own Ladder Already

You’re not smart enough, you’re not experienced enough, and you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing.

No one does when they start.

But as you build, you learn and as you build you adapt, you get better and you keep going.

Build your own ladder. Piece by piece, run by run. Little by little you’ll start seeing what you build. You’ll be amazed at what you can do – but you’re the one that has to do it…because no one is going to build your ladder for you.

About the Author: Joel just left his job and is building his own ladder along with a few other impossible things at Impossible HQ and of one of the many things on his impossible list. You can download his manifesto Impossible and follow him on twitter.

photo courtesy of grant hutchinson

The thing that I love and cherish becomes a dreaded chore. I avoid it like a pile of dirty dishes glaring at me out of the corner of my eye as I stealthily slip by.

I’m not proud to admit this either. After all, what I teach on this blog and in Trailblazer is all about working on your own terms and waking up excited about what you get to do.

When I fall out of love with my work it seems like there are so many other interesting things I could be doing. An interesting documentary on Netflix, an audiobook I just downloaded. Even doing the dishes seems more interesting (no matter how much they glare at me).

As Steve Jobs said, when that goes on more than a few days in a row I have to stop and ask myself what’s changed.

What is it about my work that I’ve come to despise? Why am I feeling so much resistance? Is there some way that I need to evolve or shift directions?

Beyond the glorious blast-off

I think there’s a striking difference between when you start out working toward a dream and when it’s actually gotten off the ground; when it’s moved from a nebulous sketch on a folded up napkin, to a fully operating vision that now has a life of its own.

When no one’s watching, it’s easy to stay excited, enthused, engaged. Anything is possible.

When you have an audience, when people have put their faith and trust in you, expectations can asphyxiate the excitement you once had.

It’s harder to take risks when people are watching. It’s hard to stay vulnerable, real, honest. It’s easier to put on a show and act like everything is always amazing.

But inevitably, things change

Sometimes what you thought you loved changed. Sometimes you change.

You put ridiculous expectations on yourself, like:

• I need to get things done, why can’t I just create more? (chug, chug, chug… we’re not machines)
• I should be more excited about this, why can’t I just be automatically on FIRE every time?
• Why can’t I be more gentle with myself? That’s definitely what I should be doing after all.
• I should appreciate people more. Why don’t I appreciate the people I work with? Maybe then I would be more excited.
• I get distracted too easily. This shouldn’t happen. I need to stop it.
• I don’t give this all I really could give it. Why don’t I push harder, why don’t I try harder?

And with this mental gramophone relaying incessantly, how can we expect to love or even like our work?

With all those expectations and pressures, what we once loved turns into a hell we’d rather escape from. Like a lover that continuously nags or berates us, we naturally come to despise them. “Why can’t they just accept us? Why can’t they just let us be?”

If you want to fall back in love with your work (and if you really truly still love it), the first step is to stop being such an asshole.

Extricate all the shoulds. Kill your expectations. Have a funeral for your quotas.

And breathe.

Reconnect with why you actually fell in love with your work in the beginning. What was it that attracted you to your craft?

What made you yearn and pine to get to know it better, to dive deeper, to explore every facet possible?

And rather than expecting yourself to experience that firework display of infatuation that you felt on the first date, sink into a nourishing, beautiful and sustaining love that can be a companion for a life time.

If you want to fall back in love with your work, you need to show up to your relationship differently. We know that we can’t expect to come to our partner or loved ones making ridiculous demands and screaming for things to happen or else. You can’t expect it to work that way with your relationship to your vocation either.

How to fall back in love with your work

Rather than coming to your work with expectations and unreasonable demands, focus on how you can nourish the passion that brought you together. How can you start making deposits so you can start seeing returns?

Here are some suggestions:

• Learn something new about your work. Read a new book on your topic; read several. Attend a conference, meetup or seminar and pretend that you’re connecting with it for the first time.
• Approach your work from a beginner’s mind. Focus on experiencing it with a state of curiosity and exploration. Create a new experiment.
• Mentor others. Connect with a complete novice in your field. Offer to mentor them and soak up some of their enthusiasm and excitement.
• Ask how you can nurture your passion, rather than expecting the flame to be automatically lit.

Be conscious of your expectations. Maybe you’re being unreasonable, or maybe you have the wrong goals.

And remember that the fastest way to kill your passion is by comparing yourself to the accomplishments of others. Stop that, now. Focus on your art, your craft, your vision. The rest will follow.

I’m not perfect, but these are some of the things that help me fall back (and stay) in love with my work. I hope it helps you too.

Over to you: How about you? Do you ever fall out of love with your work? Leave a comment, I’d love to hear your thoughts.