i'm a deer hunter

amen brother

2011-11-20T23:19:00.000+11:00

i don't wear skinny jeans. they restrict my leg movement, thereby limiting my maximum fighting potential. those clothes are not fit for a true saiyan warrior.

when dvds become obsolete, things will be fun. vhs frizbees are far too lethal.

2011-07-15T01:09:00.002+10:00

i'd like to apoligise for making this a lazy song-you-should-check-out-but-probably-won't post. the mushy thing inside my head refuses to string a few sentences together to write something half decent to read, but i've tuned into a not too bad of an artist so there's a little bit of validity to this blog.

i'm not the biggest r&b fan, however toronto based artist the weeknd is sounding ever so original and fresh. so even if you're not so hot for urban tunes, listen on in because they may just impress.

proper posts to come, like super proper.

sayonara.

The Weeknd - Wicked Games by The_Weeknd

my brief impediment with our scurvy savaging warriors

2011-07-07T12:16:00.000+10:00

in my hand rested the tiniest orange your mind's eye would have ever perceived. i was all like, 'ayo mother, this orange does not meet the requirements of providing me with the sustenance of satisfactory quantity.' and she was all like 'ayo son, citrus is that of the essence and that orange you have made prior arrangements to feast upon will harness you with the goodness of vitamin c and folate and so for tonight, we shall dine in hell.'

of course this conversation never really happened seeing that mother is not articulate in english as the language of anglo-saxons is not her native tongue, nor does she address me as son, nor would she give two thoughts about such trivial matters, and certainly would she not make any references and quote one liners from 300. i did truly however spy upon my eye an orange of modest proportions. tiny it was but ever so tasty. that was that and within moments was the short affair with my dilemma over and done with. thankful to have lived to tell the tale, i know not for certain whether the next encounter will be another victory or one that looks upon my well-being unfavourably (oranges are dangerous business).

so i took a hiatus on writing because well, i had nothing to write about (you might have clued in on my ever so blatant story telling). but haters gonna hate, heaters gonna heat, and wannabe-writers gonna write. so my friend, tune back in while i tune you into my tune.

piece.

scratch

2011-04-12T20:14:00.001+10:00

filler post for all the filler lovers (and to the filler haters and to those with a stance of neutrality on filler posts)

2011-04-05T20:22:00.015+10:00

the title 'i'm a deer hunter' pays homage to the 1978 film masterpiece, the deer hunter, which explores themes revolving around war and the human condition. it's an excellent movie and it starring robert de niro, christopher walken and john cazale should be more than enough reason to view said film. 'i'm a deer hunter' is also a nod to shoegazing musicians deerhunter.

'that's all nice and dandy mr door hunter person, but in what way do they relate to this blog?' says you who is full of sprite and tiger blood. and i say unto thee, 'there is no relevance, i am merely exercising my right to choose whichever name i feel is of satisfaction to myself.'

check out my last fm profile and feel free to friend request and flame me for my taste in music.

yippee ki yay.

a deer hunter post brought to you by yours oh so truly

2011-03-22T21:11:00.001+11:00

/me plays rano pano by mogwai after a long hard tiring exhausting daunting boring uneventful day.

brilliant track? check.
feel good video? check.
tasty beverage in hand? check.
is my heart now set on film making?

we'll see.

mogwai continues to produce out of this world music that take on a life of its own. my ghetto side be all like 'damn son, the dynamics in this muzak be stylin' on me y'all.'

lazy made a return and kicked my arse but victory bestows me as i take it upon myself to slay the beast. so on that note, i'll try to write more often.

goodbye for now hoomans.

the hooman race was enslaved thousands of years ago by a force

2011-02-27T10:40:00.016+11:00

a force known as money.

see film zeitgeist: moving forward.

if you've seen the first film, chances are you've been disenchanted from the conspiracy theory content backed by poor evidence. make notice that zeitgeist: moving forward steps away from all that and only talks about the facts. in essence, it's a documentary giving a real insight into what has been and what is to be. it's a lengthy one, so it may lose a bit of interest throughout the film but for the most part, the spokespeople have you hanging on to every word. to warm you up to this film, read this excerpt of the intro.

"my grandmother was a wonderful person, she thought me how to play monopoly. she understood that the name of the game was to acquire, she would accumulate everything she could and eventually she became the master of the board and eventually she would take my last dollar and i would quit in utter defeat... and then she would look at me and always said the same thing. 'one day you will learn to play the game.'

one summer i played monopoly with a neighbour almost everyday, we would play monopoly for hours, and that summer. i learnt to play the game. i came to understand that the only way to win was to make a total commitment to acquisition.
i came to understand that money and possession was the way that you keep score and by the end of that summer i was more ruthless than my grandmother i would bend the rules even if i had to to win that game.

i sat down to play with her that fall. i took everything she had, i destroyed her financially and psychologically. i watched her give her last dollar and quit in utter defeat.

then she had one more to teach me. she said, 'now it all goes back in the box. all those houses and hotels, all the railroads and utility companies, all that property and all that wonderful money. now it all goes back in the box.'

i didn't want it to go back in the box...

'no.' she said 'none of it was really yours or mine. sure you got all heated up about it for a while but it was around a long time before you sat down at the board, and it will be around after you're gone. players come and players go, but it all goes back in the box.'

'houses, cars, titles, quotes and bulging portfolios, even your body.'
so i learnt everything that i clutch and hoard and consume... i'm gonna lose it all.
not much of an r.o.i on that.

so you have to ask yourself...
when you suddenly get the ultimate promotion, when you make the ultimate purchase, buy the ultimate home, when you have stored up financial security and climbed the ladder of success to the highest rung you can possibly climb and the thrill wears off... and it will wear off... then what?
how far do you have to walk down that road before you see where it leads?
surely you understand it will never be enough.
so you have to ask yourself the question: what matters?"

weekend's almost over and i wanna do is play mah video gamez. pic semi-related.

amnesia: the dark descent

2011-02-16T00:30:00.003+11:00

some folks fear death. others fear spiders and some even have an irrational fear of peaches. i for one care less for them, because nothing compares to the fear of waking up alone inside a large unoccupied building, such as a castle, cell or mental institution. so naturally, when i attempted to play 'amnesia', a game of the horror survival genre, rest assure that i didn't get very far into it.

you play as daniel, a young man from london who finds himself stuck inside a dark castle with no recollection of himself or his past. you must scour around the castle looking for notes and clues that may help to uncover the purpose of his being and what needs to be accomplished. sounds simple enough, except for the fact that lurking around the castle are disfigured humanoids out to get daniel if spotted. what makes this such an intense and horrifying game is the inability to attack these creatures. rather, you must use your wits to lose them. this includes hiding in closets, barricading doors and hiding in the dark. take extra caution as remaining in the darkness for too long causes daniel to lose his sanity, thus making it easier for enemies to spot him.

'video games can't scare me i am a tiger!' you may say. but you've probably yet to experience the scariness that is amnesia. i can assure you it won't be the difficulty of the game that will make it hard to get through. check out this video for a taste of amnesia.

we're experiencing technical difficulties

2011-02-08T17:57:00.000+11:00

you may have noticed the lack of activity on this blog. due to personal circumstances (see: laziness) it has been a bit difficult to find the time to get a proper post in. here's to hoping i'll be able to allocate more time for writing.

in the mean time, turn your ears onto boris. a japanese experimental rock band who play and combine a variety of genres including drone metal, noise rock, psychedelic rock, ambient, sludge metal, stoner rock and early hardcore punk. the trio are very skilled at their craft, check em.

stay in tonight

2011-02-04T00:45:00.001+11:00

for all you gentle men out there, you can now justify why you'd rather stay in and play games on a friday night than go out to dinner with the wifey.

check out this old advertisement for playstation.

one very important thought

2011-02-03T07:25:00.004+11:00

'now that the show is over, and we have jointly exercised our constitutional rights, we would like to leave you with one very important thought. sometime in the future you may have the opportunity to serve as a juror in a so-called obscenity case. it would be wise to remember that the same people who would stop you from viewing an adult film may be back next year to complain about a book or even a t.v. program. if you could be told what you can see or read then it follows that you could be told what to see or think.

defend your constitutionally protected rights - no one else will do it for you.

thank you.'

- epilogue of 1982 adult film 'a brief affair'

the midnight game

2011-01-31T22:08:00.000+11:00

it's probably old hat, but this is the first i've heard of it. brix were shat after having read this so it is to your discretion, but if you plan on sleeping tonight you might want to save for another day.

“the midnight game” is an old pagan ritual used mainly as punishment for those who have broken the laws of the pagan religion in question. while it is mainly used as a scare tactic to not disobey the gods, there is still a very real chance of death to those who play the midnight game and there is an even higher chance of permanent mental scarring. it is highly recommended that you do not play the midnight game.
for those few thrill seekers searching for a rush or for those delving into obscure occult rituals, these are the simple instructions on how to play. do so at your own risk.

instructions

prerequisites: it must be exactly 12:00 am when you begin performing the ritual, otherwise it will not work. the materials that are required include a candle, a wooden door, at least one drop of your own blood, a piece of paper, matches or a lighter, and salt. if you are playing with multiple people, they will all need their own of the aforementioned materials and will have to perform the steps below separately.

step one: write your full name (first, middle, and last) on a piece of paper and put at least one drop of blood on the paper. allow it to soak in.

step two: turn off all the lights in the house. go to your front door, which must be wooden, and place the paper with your name in front of it. now, take the candle and light it. place the candle on top of the paper with your name.

step three: knock on your own door 22 times (the hour must be 12:00 am upon the final knock), then open the door, blow out the candle, and close the door. you have just allowed the “midnight man” into your home.

step four: immediately relight your candle.

this is where the game begins. you must now lurk around your now completely dark house with the lit candle in hand. your goal is to avoid the midnight man at all costs until exactly 3:33 am. should your candle ever go out, it is because the midnight man is near you. you must relight the candle within the next ten seconds. if you are unsuccessful in relighting the candle, you must then immediately surround yourself with a circle of salt.
if you are unsuccessful in both of these, the midnight man will then induce a hallucination of your greatest fear until 3:33 am. if you are successful in relighting the candle, then you may proceed. if you are successful in creating the circle of salt, you must remain within the circle until 3:33 am. you must continue until 3:33 am without being attacked by the midnight man or being trapped within the circle of salt to win the midnight game. the midnight man will then leave at 3:33 am and you will be safe to proceed with your morning.

staying in one spot the entire game will only result in the midnight man finding you. it is highly advised that you continue moving throughout the game.

do not turn on any lights during the midnight game.

do not use a flashlight during the midnight game.

do not go to sleep during the midnight game.

do not use another person’s blood on your name.

do not use a lighter to substitute for a candle. it will not work.

and definitely do not attempt to provoke the midnight man in any way.

that is all. have fun.

i scoured the internet for stories and experiences with this, but only managed to find one result. apoligies for the grammar of the following excerpt, but it's presented as is.

the midnight game; i have done this on 3 occasions, and it only worked once. the first time, we did it at just to see if it worked, with me in the house, shut off everything (computers, tv, clocks) and gave me the stuff. after the summoning (which i'll put after this) i lit the candle and ran around the house, freaking out, for about ten minutes. then, i heard a door slam somewhere and i admit i started crying. i ran into what i thought was a kitchen, and collided with this man and i screamed and threw salt everywhere and was crying and then guy said 'holy crap! (i am paraphrasing) why the hell are the lights off?" and i realized it was sally's dad. so we tried again, with another girl and an epic fail (there was a broken window, jello and a bunch of licorice involved) and then the third time, where i was once again the 'subject'. this was several years later, with some different friends. about three seconds after i lit the darn candle it blew out. so, i relit it and got moving! you bet your sweet babushka i was scared then. btw do not go near too many doors that lead outside, if you can help it. at almost every one of them my candle went out, so that's a no no. so, i was doing good, i guess, because it had to have been about three hours and i hadn't seen or felt anything but an occasional chill. then, what i imagine was about 3:30, i heard a huge crash in the upstairs bathroom. i freaked out and avoided it for a while then went in. as i went to go out i saw that darn silhouette and my candle went out. the guy was right there so i basically said 'screw it', threw my candle away and threw down the best circle in history ever made in the dark. i stood there, shivering my brains out, for about three minutes when i suddenly felt really warm. i heard the front door open, and all of my friends ran into the house yelling for me. the lights all came on, and my friend ryan looked at me, and i just collapsed. scariest thing ever. i do not recommend it.

little dragon

2011-01-30T01:43:00.011+11:00

they go by the name of little dragon and their latest album is machine dreams.

i recently got around to checking them out and so far my ears are liking what they hear. they're best described as the sister act of gorillaz, so if you're a fan of the virtual band, check out little dragon. there's a very innocent undertow that comes with their sound, utilising layers of synthesisers to blend in harmony with the soaring vocals of front woman yukimi nagano.

put on some headphones and listen to little dragon. these swedish folk sound alright.

bump

2011-01-24T20:22:00.014+11:00

just hit the 100 follower count! many thanks to all of you who are supporting and keeping this blog going.

windowlicker

2011-01-17T20:49:00.000+11:00

the extended version of windowlicker in all its glory, featuring an extra lengthy intro with smack talk aplenty and a sweet hip hop sample of the track. nightmares of hot babes with mangled faces brought to you by chris cunningham.

work hacks

2011-01-11T01:36:00.001+11:00

compiled by the people you depend on, the ones who cook your meals, haul your trash, connect your calls, drive your ambulances and guard you while you sleep, i'd like to present to you all a list of tips and secrets you may or may not already know. feel free to share this information with comrades and guilty parties.

- anytime you rent a movie or game at blockbuster, if you tell the cashier that the person who checked your movies in last time promised your next rental free because "the disc i rented last time was scratched and you were all checked out", we have to give it to you.

- the secret sauce at mcdonalds is thousand island dressing, mustard, and mayonnaise.

- i work at office depot. we have no loss prevention guy. there are 5 cameras- all of which are around the printer ink, because ink gets stolen the most. but you could jack shit real easy. the other thing is that the monitors for the cameras is in a separate room from the managers office and nobody watches them. ever.

- i work for dairy queen and you can basically use any coupon you want. it doesn't need to scan just make it look official. usually cashiers will ask the supervisor if they accept it and the supervisors never give a shit and just say yes.

- little caesars. go out back, rummage in the dumpster, grab an old pepperoni, walk into store, act pissed and demand a new product. at the very least you'll get a free pizza. the most i've seen someone get was 2 free pizzas, a cheese bread, and 4 coupons for free pizzas. oh, and ask for it to be made fresh.

- i work for a call center, in the disputes department. when shit doesn't go your way and you decide that you'll get all huffy and turn into an asshole and ask to speak to a supervisor, i'm actually transferring you to one of my co-workers that is "playing" supervisor. you aren't actually talking to a supervisor, until maybe the 3rd or 4th transfer. we are trained to deal with assholes like you. then, after we resolve the dispute, we laugh at your sorry ass after you hang up. don't be a dick to call center employees. be polite, but firm, and we will probably just give in to get you off the phone. be an asshole, and we will fuck with you, just because we can.

- i work for game stop. every time you buy a used game for a console, chances are it's been dropped, played with by little kids, spooged on, and anything else you can imagine. if you bring in a scratched game and we refuse it, it's because we don't like you enough to buy a game we already have fifty of, even though we have a several hundred dollar disk resurface machine in back. as for used consoles/hardware? you're better buying new. almost every used console we sell has an expected 2-4 month life, despite only being $50 cheaper than a new one.

- i work for ups. we do happen to "lose" things when people are complete dicks.

- if you're a cop, you will have spit in your food/drink.

- if you don't want to pay for a hotel room, buy a box of condoms, check in. as soon as you get in there, jerk off or use shampoo and toss it somewhere slightly concealed. complain.

- if you want to bring food in (to a movie), put it in a bag. we can't go through your stuff, so don't be all sketchy. if you walk in with food in your hand, we enjoy telling you that you can't bring your shit in and you deserve it.

- in any retail place you will get terrible service if you can't put down your phone for 5 fucking minutes in order to discuss your transaction.

- managers always say they will "deal with the associate". they're probably lying. sometimes i do talk to my associates, but usually we bond while making fun of the customer. "i'm on your side but don't fuck up" is my management style.

- worked for a call center for a while here. do you really think yelling and shitting on that call rep is going to convince them to help you? your best bet to get them to fix your shit is to be polite.

- i'm a police officer. if you're getting a ticket, you can cry all you want. we are taught to make the decision to issue the ticket or not before we leave the car to approach your window.

- all beer/ale/lager etc from tap is watered down.

- have cash in your hand when at the bar, preferably a note of high value. we get bonuses based on how much cash we make in a night. if we think you're gonna order more than one drink we'll serve you faster.

- make eye contact with us when we are pouring drinks, we will generally acknowledge someone who is paying attention rather than someone idly waiting.

- women; flashing your tits does not guarantee you getting served, but it might help.

gasland

2011-01-06T13:56:00.008+11:00

whatever avenue it may be, whether it'd be pirating or using the hard earned cash moneys, do yourself a favour and watch gasland.

directed by josh fox, the documentary explores the nature of gas extraction, better known as hydraulic fracturing, and its impact on people and nature.

the film opens with the perception of how the media has portrayed gas to be the efficient and cost-effective solution of energy source for the future. it turns out however, that procedures used to extract gas is actually more harmful and damaging than the current methods used to obtain oil.

fox conveys to us a brutal account into what is known as natural gas drilling that has not only devastated the environment, but also many farmers and country dwellers, including the director himself. the documentary is insightful and calls upon viewers to question where the world is heading. energy is becoming one of the world's greatest concerns, but methods utilising an alarming amount of chemicals that can effectively result in permanent damage to the environment and humans is definitely not the way to go.


josh fox clad in breathing apparatus, banjo and shirt

generic post about new year

2010-12-31T09:50:00.000+11:00

on a more serious note, stay safe and i'll see y'all next year.

aliens is you

2010-12-30T13:18:00.005+11:00

i'd like to present to you all my hypothesis on aliens. this is a theory i've constructed based on logic from an evolutionary standpoint, so be mindful and remember that anything i state, unless otherwise specified, is not verified information.

so what do i believe aliens are? according to popular belief, aliens are extra terrestrial beings perceived as being far more advanced than humans in terms of life form, technology and capability. if one were to give a quick thought of making comparisons between aliens and human beings with these characteristics in mind, taking into account that aliens in theory come from distant and unknown origins, observations suggest that we may not be too different from them given a few evolutionary changes.

firstly, i'd like to define what we call evolution without going into too much detail. as we know it, evolution is the process of biological remodeling where organisms go through a cycle of change as a result of surrounding environments. other factors come into play that determine the sorts of changes that occur, but for the sake of keeping this short, i will stick to just that. the following theories ties to the idea of evolution.

aliens have been described in a way that suggests their form is similar to that of a human structure. they are bipedal creatures with a pair of limbs for walking and another set of limbs for other purposes (flying ufos?). aliens come in emaciated and larger than large head varieties, which brings me to my next point.

over time, we become more relient on technology, eventually resulting in total dependence on machines. because of the need for less physical effort, our bodies feel that larger muscle tissue is no longer a necessity for survival and thus the nature of evolution results in us having frail and smaller bodies.

due to a depletion of organic resources for consumption, we no longer rely on wholefoods and find a way to create nourishment that satisfies the body. they come in pills or some other form that provides easy digestion. this also results in a decline in lesser muscle mass.

keeping on topic with advances on technology, we eventually find a way to increase our brain usage to 100% causing the physical need to increase head space. there is much debate as to how much of our brain we actually use, but most sources agree that it certainly isn't used to its maximum capacity.

the mathematics and feasibility of creating time travel is accomplished. such ahievement allows aliens to travel back in time to study the past and their ancestors (us, respectively) and our way of life. the reason? if we had such technology, surely we would travel back to the stone ages to better understand the past also.

it's most likely that my theory is very accurate and very true, but there may be the off chance that i'm wrong.

in conclusion, WE R TEH ALIENZ AND ALIENS DESCENDED FROM HOOMANS WHO DESCENDED FROM APES. pic related.

truth

mashup mondays - it's fun to smoke dust

2010-12-27T20:04:00.002+11:00

who here likes talks and rants about music and hidden satanic messages? i sure don't but dj lobsterdust makes a splendor of it with a bang-up remix of satanic conspiracies mashed up with some freddie mercury. good times indeed.

kick off your shoes and relax your socks and check out his site. it'll be sure to please your ears.

this is not another post about christmas

2010-12-25T10:39:00.001+11:00

due to the festivities and enjoying in excess all things delicious, i haven't had a proper chance to write up a new post, which i feel bad about since i'd like to be posting on a daily basis. i hope to be getting some new posts in later today if not tomorrow.

also, i lied. merry christmas y'all!

be water my friend

2010-12-20T19:47:00.001+11:00

whilst browsing through health and fitness forums, i came across an excerpt taken from 'the art of expressing the human body' by bruce lee. universally respected for his physical fitness and philosophy, not surprisingly it seems his characteristics also inspired those around him.

“bruce had me up to three miles a day, really at a good pace. we’d run the three miles in twenty-one or twenty-two minutes. just under eigh minutes a mile [note: when running on his own in 1968, lee would get his time down to six-and-a half minutes per mile]. so this morning he said to me “we’re going to go five.” i said, “bruce, i can’t go five. i’m a helluva lot older than you are, and i can’t do five.” he said, “when we get to three, we’ll shift gears and it’s only two more and you’ll do it.” i said “okay, hell, i’ll go for it.” so we get to three, we go into the fourth mile and i’m okay for three or four minutes, and then i really begin to give out. i’m tired, my heart’s pounding, i can’t go any more and so i say to him, “bruce if i run any more,” —and we’re still running-“if i run any more i’m liable to have a heart attack and die.” he said, “then die.” it made me so mad that i went the full five miles. afterward i went to the shower and then i wanted to talk to him about it. i said, you know, “why did you say that?” he said, “because you might as well be dead. seriously, if you always put limits on what you can do, physical or anything else, it’ll spread over into the rest of your life. it’ll spread into your work, into your morality, into your entire being. there are no limits. there are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. if it kills you, it kills you. a man must constantly exceed his level.”

now kick back and enjoy the classic fight scene from enter the dragon where bruce encounters the final boss in the infamous mirror room.

gantz graf

2010-12-19T23:41:00.001+11:00

the only thing better than electronic music is electronic music with a well executed clip to go with it. autechre delivers a mind blowing audio visual experience showcasing an entity synchronising to every sound and rhythm (or lack thereof) on the track. computer generated imagery on drugs? do proceed.

the fight network

2010-12-14T18:35:00.005+11:00

spoiler alert: fight club, the social network

so i finally got around to watching the social network. now i don’t know why anybody hadn't told me how brilliant it is and that i must go and see it asap, but it having been directed by david fincher should have been sufficient grounds to check it out. anyway, fincher did a really good job and you can tell it’s a fincher film from the dark and stylish feel that runs through a lot of his other works.

however, it wasn’t just the technical achievement that made me think of it as another fincher film. there are recurring themes and comparisons that can be made to another film he had put out, namely fight club.

take, for instance, the protagonists in both films. the two were initially unable to see that their actions would have a huge roll on effect (okay so the protagonist in fight club wasn’t fully aware until the end that he was behind everything all along, but it was still his own doing). there was also the subject of ‘growing', which involved both parties creating a massively expanding network. they created a societal shift, where they started with an archetype (fight club turned into sub-criminal organisation vs. algorithm turned into being wired into creating a large scale site) and ideals had also been realised (liberation from the consumer lifestyle vs. worldwide networking). perhaps all these things were coincidental, but there were other things in the movie that raised a few flags. here are some screen shots i took.