I'm Bernard Madoff--I'm Telling All. Right Here. Trust Me.

Ponzi Supernova and Madoff Cornering The Market in Hot Chocolate

2017-01-14T12:44:00.003-05:00

To: Steve Fishman
From: Bernie

Steve- I was happy to give you plenty of my time so that you could provide Amazon with a packaged audio series of episodes that offered credible insight. That said, after a very special and hot chick friend of mine in Oregon tipped me off to the jibber jabber media reviews of the Ponzi Supernova series that launched this week, I'm scratching my head as to why you would include shining a spotlight on my hot chocolate powder business.

First of all, I need the IRS sending me an audit notice just as much as I need a sharp pencil jabbed into my eyeball.

Secondly, now that you've disclosed my tiny entrepreneurial project, you've completely f*%ked up my supply chain. Now my sources in the kitchen are going to gouge me, and in turn, I'll either have to raise my street prices, or I'll have to include a packet of mini-marshmallows for free with every sale. This place only sells the plain Swiss Miss product; that means I'll have to source marshmallows inside Butner, and trust me when I tell you that's no easy trick here.

Third, you can redeem yourself by using your rolodex and contacting the people at Conagra--those are the folks that make this stuff--and inspire them to strike a sponsorship deal with me. If you don't know how to structure a sponsorship/brand ambassador deal, reach out to the Trump team, I'm hearing they've now got a 20-person crew working in offices in the basement of Trump Plaza to form all kinds of pacts.

In the mean time, I'm hoping you'll reach out to Jeff Bezos's people at Amazon and remind them that my deal with you requires them to include a link to my blog so that I might be able to get some ad revenue from the Ponzi Supernova audio series--which I donate to charities (and also use to maintain inventory of Swiss Mix!)

Bernie
P.S. Please contact the dolts at Google who are responsible for displaying the stupid warning banner in front of people who are visiting this blog. It says "there have been complaints about inappropriate content on this blog." Are they f*%king kidding?! Every time "The Donald" tweets something, THAT should be considered inappropriate content, not my stuff!!

Trump Vows To Dump US State Dept; Open US Dept of Sex

2016-07-31T14:01:00.001-04:00

1996 Melania Trump photo by Ale de Basseville

TRUMP CAMPAIGN SPECIAL REPORT: GOP NOMINEE VOWS TO SHUT US DEPT OF STATE AND REPLACE WITH US DEPT OF SEX; FIRST LADY MELANIA TO GIVE HEAD AND “LEND A HAND”

DONALD TRUMP TWEETS “MY NEW US DEPARTMENT WILL BE PROFITABLE STARTING DAY ONE!”
(MarketsMuse Exclusive)- Donald Trump, the GOP Presidential Nominee announced today “Because our foreign policy is such a disaster, during my first 100 days as President, I will not only build a really big wall along the Mexico border, I hereby vow to shut the U.S. Department of State until someone can figure out what the heck is going on with our foreign policy and at the same time, I will appoint my wife and First Lady Melania Trump to sit on my staff as Secretary and lead a newly-created US Department of Sex.” Mr. Trump vowed this would be a Cabinet-level role and “unlike every money-losing US Government agency, my new department will be “profitable starting day one!”

In a series of 140-character tweets pushed out late Saturday night by Donald Trump after the NY Post revealed (sic) uncovered the plan, the Republican candidate eviscerated the foreign policy strategy initiatives of the Obama administration and declared, “Let’s face it folks, #SEX is the ultimate influencer when it comes to global diplomacy. All of the world’s great leaders have been swayed by legions of Eastern European models and consorts, and Melania is well-trained to lend a hand to my administration, trust me!.”

Added Trump, ” We will immediately reward the vast number of under-educated white males in our country who have been so cheated by the rigged system and whose votes are so important to our country!” Trump went further to state ” I hereby pledge that my wife Melania will administer hand jobs to every single uneducated white male who votes for me in the national election.” In a follow-up tweet, Trump stated, “These will be the GREATEST hand jobs ever administered, and you can trust me when I make this promise!”

Despite the fact that Mr. Trump has been a direct party to more than 3700 civil law suits during his business career, he insists that the promise to have his wife perform manual sex on under-educated white male voters is “a legal contract that I swear on my son Baron’s head, is a binding agreement that I will co-sign and one that I will not breach and she will not breach!”

In a late-breaking tweet made Sunday morning, Donald Trump said “This promise does not have to be limited to only under-educated white males, Melania will also provide manual sex to any woman who votes for me! This proves that I truly love and respect all women!”

#PorkISIS

Trump advisor Paul Manafort confirmed that “Donald Trump’s plan to create a revenue-producing US Federal Department of Sex could easily wipe out trillions in US national debt within the first two years of a Trump administration.”

Steve Mnunchin (c) Trump Finance Head

Steve Mnunchin, a former Goldman Sachs partner who was recently appointed National Finance Chairman to the Trump Campaign stated, “Winning and making money and making America great again is our focus. Many people on Wall Street know that Melania is a perfect role model who can lend her own hands to lead a profitable US Government initiative that can wipe out the national debt in a few easy strokes! Mnunchin added, I personally hope that other Trump family members will want to join in this program!”

To continue reading, click here

I Will Endorse Trump If He Invokes #ISIStheDonkey Killshot

2016-06-22T14:44:00.000-04:00

From: Bernald L. Madoff
To: Donald J. Trump
cc: Ivanka Trump
cc: Eric Trump
cc: Donald Trump, Jr.

RE: My Endorsement

Dear Donald- Against better judgement, trust me when I say that I will endorse you re: campaign to be President if you endorse and implement the following:

How Trump Head-F%*K Strategy Can Pork ISIS Brand

Linguist Kill Shot Should Be Used To Defeat D’Aesh Terrorist Gang; Word Association 201: Insert Offensive Phrase in front of Adversary Name to Defeat Them. Trust Me.

#ISIStheDonkey and #PorkISIS will prove to be the anti-brand strategy that defeats Islamic Extremist Organization

Say what you want about Donald Trump—which is exactly his strategy—he wants his name to be repeated constantly. Rinse Repeat. Rinse Repeat. This is a text book branding technique that has been used by marketers as well as PR and IR professionals since time began. And, as Donald Trump has proven, by inserting a negative or offensive phrase in front of the “brand name” (e.g. “Lying Ted”, “Little Marco” “Cheating Hilary”), any neuroscientist will confirm that this strategy is a highly-effective bullying technique that will quickly and effectively lead to wide-scale negative association with that person (or product).

Scott Adams, the prolific author, the creator of the Dilbert comic strip (and a trained hypnotist) has repeatedly framed Trump’s linguistic judo style for being a uniquely effective strategy to undermine his adversaries. And, let’s face it, throughout the GOP primary campaigns, every time Trump has incorporated a negative phrase in front of respective opponents’ first name, those opponents ultimately and handedly lost their respective battle to win. Hey, as Charlie Sheen will confirm, its all about winning. Period. Nothing else matters when in life and death battles.

Taking a page from that playbook, one can only wonder why the presumptive GOP presidential candidate has not invoked that same technique whenever he’s called on to address his foreign policy strategy and in particular, how he would one destroy one the most barbaric group of terrorists to occupy the planet since the days of the Huns.* (*Not intended to discount the Nazi’s from the list of most barbaric terrorists!)

Instead of Trump and his Trumpeteers banging President Obama for “erring on the side of caution” by not invoking the phrase “Islamic Extremist,” and instead of accusing the political correct crowd for mincing words by using the phrase “ISIL”, as opposed to the acronym ending with “S” that group works so hard to advance recognition and credibility, Trump is arguably best positioned to establish a new naming convention that should be Rinsed and Repeated by every influencer who has an audience; government spokespeople, faith leaders (particularly moderate Muslim leaders), media pundits, and journalists who get the joke that their job is only safe as long as they live in a free and open society. Case in point, moderate Muslim leaders throughout the Middle East refer to this group as D’aesh, not one of the two, four-letter acronyms used by Westerners. The phrase D’aesh is considered to be a negative connotation, and according to many real Mid-East experts, it is a polarizing term that diminishes the relevance and importance of that particular group, and is a straight slap-in the face.

In as much as some will argue the targets of this strategy will retort with “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, the fact of the matter is that linguistic kill shots can be amazingly effective. So, we advocate introducing one of the following two phrases whenever, however and irrespective of medium to substitute their current phraseology with:

#ISIStheDonkey A large universe of Arab Muslims subscribe to the notion that donkeys are the lowest form of animal life. By using this new phrase to the point when it becomes ubiquitous, taking Scott Adams thesis one step further, those who might have aspired to join this group will have no interest to do so, and those who have already aligned with this group will, by sheer humiliation alone, reject their allegiance and revert back to their original roots. When tweeting, please remember to include # in front!

#PorkISIS—Easier to pronounce, a fun play on Western vernacular and requires fewer characters when tweeting. Self-explanatory association; Muslims (just like religious Jews) do not eat pork, and the more zealous universe of Muslims believe those who do eat pork are committing blasphemy against the Koran. By associating Pork along-side the current four letter acronym used by these maniacal barbarians to identify themselves, this is a Double Linguistic Kill Shot.

Feel free to share this. And, #PorkISIS. Or simply call it what it is: #ISIStheDonkey.

Madoff To Testify re: "Art of Bernie's Bookkeeping"

2016-04-04T16:14:00.000-04:00

BREAKING: Bernie Madoff Will Face Deposition In Profit Row

Yes, the headline to this story is true. I'm on my way to redemption and if there is anything that I can do for the trustee and/or the 'casualties' of what I have already acknowledged as being a Ponzi scheme, I am happy to help. Trust Me.

"..The liquidating trustee for Bernie Madoff's defunct securities firm agreed on Monday to allow the convicted Ponzi schemer to talk to lawyers for Madoff investors about certain bookkeeping practices at the firm, a move Irving Picard, the trustee for the Madoff bankruptcy case, had previously opposed...."

For the full story from Law360, click here

Litigants Barred From Double Dipping in Madoff Claim Pool

2016-02-18T08:03:00.000-05:00

It didn't require the wisdom of Antonin Scalia to rule against plaintiffs who have been pursuing my pal Jeff Picower's remaining billions as part of the Mad Hunt to Pursue Madoff Claims. All it took was a federal bankruptcy court judge in New York to realize that double-dipping in the claim pool is no more politically correct than visiting the Boca Rio buffet table more than 3 times on any given Sunday night.

(REUTERS) Victims of Bernard Madoff's fraud cannot pursue a Florida lawsuit to recover $11 billion from the estate of Jeffry Picower, who they say helped perpetuate the swindler's Ponzi scheme, a Manhattan bankruptcy judge ruled on Wednesday.

U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Stuart Bernstein said the lawsuit by A&G Goldman Partnership and Pamela Goldman, their third effort to sue in Florida, violated an injunction barring Madoff victims from pursuing claims belonging to Irving Picard, the trustee liquidating Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC.Bernstein oversees the Madoff firm's liquidation.

Picard had in December 2010 won a $7.2 billion settlement with the estate of Picower, who died in October 2009.But a slew of litigation ensued from Madoff customers, including many who say the trustee undervalued their claims, against Picower and other alleged enablers of Madoff. Picard has estimated that Madoff's victims lost $17.5 billion in the fraud, which was uncovered in December 2008.

In the latest Florida case, the Goldman parties added claims that Picower "propped up" Madoff's fraud with $200 million of loans to fund investor redemptions, and agreed to serve in trading records as a counterparty for many fake options trades.

The Goldman parties sought to hold Picower responsible for "all $18 billion" of Madoff customers' losses, less the $7.2 billion from the 2010 settlement.Bernstein nevertheless found it "wholly conclusory" to allege that Picower helped Madoff distribute fake statements to customers, and had enough "control" over the swindler to justify separate litigation.

He also said allowing the Florida lawsuit "would carry real risks" to the Madoff firm's bankruptcy estate, encouraging more lawsuits and perhaps undermining the $7.2 billion accord.

Bernstein nonetheless rejected efforts by Picower's widow Barbara, who oversees his estate, and other parties associated with Picower to stop further lawsuits by the Goldman parties, while saying "the question is close."

The judge said the Goldman parties have not pursued frivolous or vexatious litigation, and that the Picower parties or Picard could seek sanctions if they crossed the line.

A spokeswoman for Picard declined to comment. Lawyers for the Picower entities and the Goldman parties were not immediately available for comment.
The case is Securities Investor Protection Corp v. Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, U.S. Bankruptcy Court, Southern District of New York, No. 08-01789.

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-madoff-picower-idUSKCN0VQ2QK

Financial Market Wisdom From Bernie Madoff

2016-02-08T17:47:00.001-05:00

OK, you're tuning in to the Madoff Channel because you know that I've seen more stock market ups and downs over more than 50 years than most folks. And, if you've navigated various updates I've made here and via my Twitter account over the last 7+ years during times of market upheaval and capitulation, you know that I've posted trade ideas with respect to individual stocks, gold, oil and bonds and 99% of my market calls have paid off handsomely for those who acted upon them.

But, since many still refer to me as Midas Madoff you want to know what I think right now, and you're busy puking up blood thanks to overdosing on the CNBC Cartoon Channel. I don't blame you. That said, and with the caveat that past performance is no guarantee of future performance, I must first insist that you look back over my postings here to better understand the process that I use to trade profitably.

For example, at the end of August, in the midst of the market meltdown, I expressed a voice of reason and for those who had balls, they bought either major stock indices when the Dow was hovering around 16,000 and/or individual names NOT in the energy sector and names that paid nice dividends and were otherwise able to withstand the upcoming recessionary cycle. I also cautioned that if the Dow closed noticeably below the 16,000 level (or if S&P closed below its equivalent long term trend line, all bets were off and there was a high risk of additional 10% decline from that 16,000 level. Now, many people refused to embrace the "R-word", but they did follow my suggestion and then watched the markets trade back up nearly 13% within a matter of weeks. Hopefully, you have been following my subsequent updates via Twitter to know that I've remained very skeptical of current equities prices--and I've argued that we had entered a likely bear market as early as Q2 of 2015...

At that same time in August, the price of oil, as expressed by WTI was in a free fall. At the time, it was in the $38 area and hedge funds were trying to talk it back up to the mid 40s. I suggested that it would be wise to wait until crude traded down towards 32, and if it traded as low as $28bbl, folks should take out mortgages on their South Florida condo's and get themselves a tanker so that you could back it up next to a refinery and fill it to the brim. Well, I know two folks who did just that and then sold it back out when March NYMEX oil futures traded back to 32 within a few days.

Now that I've established my bonafides, I'm of the opinion that despite today's bounce from being down 400+ to closing down only 180+, we haven't seen real capitulation just yet. And, now that hedge fund geniuses are publicizing being long of investment grade credit default swamps--meaning they are betting that the best corporate bonds are at risk of falling out of bed, and coupled with the fact that Fortune 500 CEOs are back in the mode of "must cut the fat and make no new investments"--that kind of shit thinking inevitably results in a recession.

There will be great buying opportunities in the upcoming several months. Keep your powder dry, do your homework and whatever you do, don't panic.
BLM

What Bernie Madoff Thinks of ABC TV Show w Richard Dreyfuss

2016-01-30T15:03:00.003-05:00

Now that more than 5000 visitors have come running back to my blog in the past week alone--presumably all wanting to know what I think about the melodrama "Madoff" starring Richard Dreyfuss, I'll tell you.

Firstly, when I was asked to be a co-producer for this production, I insisted that Erin Arvedlund be part of the writing team, as she is the only news journalist who actually got my whole story straight--well before anyone else. The boneheads at ABC rejected my demand, and claimed "we aren't really interested in the real story, we're more interested in making a drama that would frame [me] as a major sociopath" and otherwise appeal to the larger universe of morons who channel surf between watching Donald Trump and Megyn Kelly from FOX. They said, "Bernie, this is a numbers game, nothing else. We want to make sensationalist garbage because that's what most TV viewers are addicted to.."

Ok, I get it. Particularly the part about Megyn Kelly. Who doesn't love that new slicked-back-hair-dominatrix-porn-star look that she's embraced?! Everyone here at Camp Butt Hole does, trust me!

The fact that the ABC show runners glossed over the fact that one single investor had agreed to fork over more than $7bil within weeks after the keystone kops at DOJ learned that Picard's forensic team discovered that the investor in question received the vast bulk of the funds placed into my firm, and was also the end recipient of more than $100mil every day into his trading accounts at GoldmanSachs and JPMorgan suggests they had no interest in the real story, and that nobody really wants to remember.

People might say that I shouldn't speak poorly of the dead, but then again, there's reason to believe that Jeff Picower isn't really dead, despite news reports about his being found at the bottom of his swimming pool soon after I turned myself in. Did ABC want to include in the script that Picower's consigliere, Bill Zabel, who 'negotiated' the return of the $7bil+ on behalf of Jeff's 'estate' after his purported passing had a son who was the #2 US Attorney in the same office that led the investigation in my firm's demise. Odd crap, right? Well, even if I applaud Irv Picard for his dogged efforts during the past 8 years, and for his recovering lots of money and redistributing it, let's face it, his firm has been paid nearly $1BIL for those services by the folks at FINRA.. Oh, should I add that breaking news suggests that Irv might be blocking efforts by plaintiffs who have been going after the Picower estate--even though his issue with the estate is long over? Sort makes one think why?

(Law360, New York (February 1, 2016, 10:35 PM ET) -- A New York federal judge on Monday ordered Bernard Madoff’s liquidation trustee to show why a group of investors trying to sue one of Madoff’s former top clients can’t include the con man’s apparent assertion that the client controlled the Ponzi scheme.)

Click here to go to the elements site

Ok, now that two prime time shows are airing this week and then a few weeks later, let's refer to the majority of folks who invested in my firm as casualties, not victims. But I'm getting ahead of myself and veering off point. And so that the record is straight, despite the melodrama from TV script writers, the record shows that I turned myself in.

Yes, I turned myself in. The fact that my sons were given credit for reporting me to the FBI is simply because I wanted them to do that, so that they would not be suspected of knowing in advance about the fraud that was perpetrated. To be clear, they did not. Simply because they received out-sized sums of money in the form of non-recourse loans and 'bonuses' attributed to their role(s) at my brokerage firm--which was in decline for many years, does not make them complicit. They were kids, and not rocket scientists, and certainly not great with numbers. They, along with their cousin Shana (my compliance director at Madoff Securities), her husband Eric Swanson (who was an SEC enforcement director at that time, before his current rule as GC for BATS Global Trading) and a handful of other people enjoyed huge (as in Donald Trump-style 'huge') gifts and bonuses that any rational person could never have attributed to the performance of my securities brokerage firm. We were dying on the vine for years leading up to '08 thanks to equities markets becoming evermore electronic and more transparent.

But I digress. You want to know what I think of the ABC TV show. Given that I've had a first look at it, I'd say it's just another production that leverages dramatic license. It fails to tie in the assortment of stories of people who chose to turn a blind eye in favor of receiving returns on investment that no investment manager could deliver on a year-over-year basis, other than maybe Steve Cohen over at Point72 could deliver. All of my biggest feeders and fund raisers were nothing more than cheap hookers. The fact that one of my biggest bundlers --who I paid millions to--now has is name on the front entrance to North Shore Hospital's "Trauma Center" is not the most ironic chapter in a book populated with phonies and country club types who duped themselves into believing they were 'special' and that investing in my fund made them privy to a top secret money-making formula that only very special were allowed in on. Puhlease..

There's nothing in the tv show script that points dead center at the big shots at the big banks and their blind eyes (.e.g JPMorgan and BNY). Nor does it spotlight the folks at those banks who actually raised red flags internally well before the events played out, or that those red flags were buried simply because I was generating millions of dollars for those banks via fees and commissions. What did I get them from? Toasters. That's right, JPMorgan sent me a new toaster every year for maintaining my account with them. No Knicks tickets, no taking me to fancy dinners.

I will say that in the parts where the narrative focuses on my love for my wife Baby Ruth, that is entirely true. Richard Dreyfuss can blow me if he wants to believe that I was insensitive to my boys and he can crawl up my butthole if he wants to think that I don't spend every day lamenting about their untimely deaths. If he still isn't convinced, so be it. As I've known for a long time, most people are basically shallow and stupid.

Bobby DeNiro's upcoming portrayal on HBO is not too bad. Not as bad as that new show Billions, which was great in the first episode, but has since sold-off dramatically. Just like the market sell-off that I predicted right here back in June of 2015. Despite Billions being co-produced by Andrew Sorkin, a kid who I think is one of the brighter bulbs in the chandelier, the show protagonist's "Number 2" is so poorly characterized for being the second in command of a multi-billion hedge fund and his lines are so poorly written, I'm shocked that Sorkin didn't protest that actor and the lines he reads as if off a teleprompter. Even Dimes DiPascali would have been better in that role.

So instead of watching Dreyfuss, I'm going back to reading the script elements to a story that I think will be a blockbuster for the beach reading crowd, and could easily be turned into a great series.

Click here to go to the elements site

Last, everyone wants to know who I would endorse in the current presidential campaigns. Obviously not Donald Trump and obviously not Ted Cruz. I've been a Democrat for as long as I can remember and Chuck Schumer can vouch for that. Hillary Clinton is as close to being a modern day Machiavelli as anyone who I can think of and Bernie Sanders is a great lightening rod, but I don't think he's presidential material. He's too far to the left of the mainstream and even though we've elected an African American, I don't think this country is ready to elect a Jew as president. That said, if people can look past Mike Bloomberg's pedigree, and if decided to jump in at the last minute, he would likely make a fantastic Commander In Chief and CEO of the USA.

There, I've said it. Go read the book I recommended above. If you know a literary agent or a movie producer, you should point it out to them.

BLM

Palin Beds w Trump-Congress Emergency Bill to Allow Marijuana for CNN Syndrome

2016-01-19T21:03:00.001-05:00

Not a surprise. Sarah Palin is exactly the type of tart that he appeals to and her endorsing Donald Trump, or more likely, his agreeing in advance to accept her endorsement because he's calculated 'any publicity is good publicity.' With that, there actually appears to be some sane people remaining in Congress who have finally concluded that the shit has gotten so out of control, the best solution is to enact legislation through an Emergency Bill To Legalize Marijuana For Those Suffering From CNN Syndrome.

And, of course they're right. If the American public is subjected to crazy news being force-fed to us every time they open an app or turn on the TV, and because the news only gets more crazy, the obvious result is we're all being brainwashed into a state of mass depression and confusion. The antidote for this now national mental health dilemma is already scientifically proven to be a cure. It's called Marijuana. If we have to suffer from the stupidity that is taking place in our Presidential elections, no less suffer from the craziness that is apparently taking place across the world every time we turn on CNN or log in to Google News, that suffering--which takes the form of anxiety and depression--and in turn lead to all kinds of bad outcomes, can be mitigated by self-prescribed use of marijuana. This is a scientific fact that is based on decades of research done by think tanks across the world; most notably scientists in Israel, who are pretty well known for inventing some pretty serious stuff.

With that, I hereby call upon my old friend Chuck Schumer to immediately advance emergency legislation that has been submitted to your office this very night, and to advocate the passage of federal law that legalizes the possession and use of enough weed to get through every day in which the news is published.

Bernie Madoff

Showtime's #Billions Gets 5 Stars from Bernie

2016-01-11T21:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, its been a while. I've been busy catching up on my reading and watching the markets move up and down thanks to the craziness of the world and the never-ending stupidity of how those crazy "hedge funds" are chasing their own tails, and pocketing those management fees. And, laughing out loud reading about Stevie Cohen pulled his latest rabbit out of the hat while watching that new series Billions on Showtime. Its a great show. Hat's off to Andrew Ross Sorkin for leading a team of writers who did a great job of channeling the personalities of all of those A-types billion dollar brats that appear on CNBC Cartoon Channel and channeling them beautifully.

Dear Andrew- If you're looking for another story you might want to produce, click on the link and read the treatment to this one-you'll like it because its based on a true story too...
I approve of this message.
Bernie L. Madoff

Two Craziest Madoff Court Rulings In Same Week-Mets At Bat

2015-10-18T19:31:00.000-04:00

First, let me send a big shout out to my long time pal Fred Wilpon, who everyone knows is the owner of the NY Mets. I trusted in you that my favorite baseball team would once again be world famous and now that we are on deck to play in the World Series, this is the time to be offering stakes at a higher valuation. Go Mets!

Now, who would have guessed that near-on seven years later, there are still crazy and wacky cases still going through the court system, and that two of those cases would draw front page headlines in the same week. Its a Mad, Mad World!

The first case involves those smart folks over at global accounting and audit firm Ernst & Young, more affectionately known as E&Y. In that Bloomberg LP headline "Ernst & Young Confronts Madoff's Specter..

FutureSelect Portfolio Management Inc., which lost $112 million in its investment in the feeder fund, says Ernst & Young was reckless in its review. The purported assets weren’t just exaggerated; they didn’t even exist, FutureSelect says.

Ernst & Young calls its sign-off reasonable based on generally accepted auditing standards, which the firm “scrupulously” followed. The case boils down to second-guessing a review that can provide only “reasonable assurance” that a client’s financial statements are correct, the firm says.

“No audit of a Madoff-advised fund could have detected this Ponzi scheme,” Amy Call Well, an Ernst & Young spokeswoman, said in an e-mailed statement. “EY was not the auditor of any Madoff entity, we were among the many auditors of funds that chose to use Madoff as their investment adviser.”

Puhlease!!! Are you f--king kidding me?!

The next story is too classic for words, but the WSJ had a bunch of them when reporting that my old pal Noel Tucker from Fairfield Sentry won another lottery ticket this week when a Federal court judge ruled that Noel was allowed to 'break the trade' he made when he sold the $230 million claim he had filed with Irv Picard to a Cayman Island hedge fund. Noel puked on the claim and sold it for $70mil and two days later, Jeff Picower texted in the grave and told his wife to give up $7billion of the closer to $12billion that I sent his way. And that $7bil settlement made Noel's claim value go from $70mil to nearly $150mil. And the hedge fund guys were partying their brains out. Then Noel backed out of the trade before sending over the settlement documents and told the hedge fund guys to go fuck themselves. Then they sued...And guess what?

Oct. 15, 2015 1:02 p.m. ET

A bankruptcy judge agreed to undo the sale of a $230 million claim against Bernard Madoff’s liquidating investment firm, offering hopes of a higher recovery to certain Madoff investors.

Judge Stuart Bernstein of the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan this week said he’d break off the sale of the claim, currently held by major Madoff feeder fund Fairfield Sentry Ltd. Fairfield, a British Virgin Islands fund that funneled nearly all of its investors’ cash to Mr. Madoff, had sought to undo a pending sale of the claim after a massive settlement with another of Mr. Madoff’s investors dramatically changed the playing field and drove up the price such claims were fetching on the secondary market.

In the litigation that arose over Fairfield’s bid to break off the deal with proposed buyer Farnum Place LLC, early rulings didn’t give Fairfield hope—that is, until the U.S. Second Circuit Court of Appeals weighed in. In an opinion issued last fall, the Second Circuit found that lower courts erred in declining to reconsider the sale and directed the bankruptcy court to do so.

Fairfield was granted a $230 million claim against Mr. Madoff’s investment firm, Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, in connection with the losses its investors suffered when Mr. Madoff’s massive Ponzi scheme came to light in 2008.

Both Mr. Madoff’s firm and Fairfield went into liquidation after the fraud’s exposure.
airfield later agreed to sell that claim to Farnum Place for nearly $74 million, court papers show. Sales of such claims are common, as they help sellers get a quick payment and allow buyers to make a bet that they’ll collect more on the claim than what they pay for it.

Shortly after the claim sale was negotiated, however, a landmark $7 billion settlement with another of Mr. Madoff’s investors was reached that dramatically increased the amount of money available to repay those cheated in the fraud. As a result, trading prices for claims against Mr. Madoff’s firm soared, making the proposed sale of the Fairfield claim a potential windfall for Farnum Place but not such a good deal for Fairfield.

Keep reading...

Stock Market Massacre: Madoff Says...

2015-08-24T19:06:00.001-04:00

The past few days of stock market mahyem should not be (i) a surprise or (ii) a harbinger of any kind of "massacre." Then again, it depends on what your definition is when it comes to "massacre." Especially when it comes to Black Mondays. That said, the August 2015 stock market sell off will certainly be remembered...for being the type of market cycle event that was easily predicted and is typically repeated.

If you've been following "Madoff's Tweets" you know that I've been sharing the outlook of the smartest credit market and global macro folks I know during the past year; two of whom have been pointing to widening of credit spreads as being a fool-proof lead indicator of the where equity market indices will be on a 6-9 month forward looking basis. Aside, if simply because CNBC has been ranting and raving for the past year about the unicorns, the price of Tesla, and cheering the stupid over-reaching for a broad universe of stocks, you knew the writing was on the wall. Greece didn't scare you. China does...and Donald Trump should scare you more, especially when he announces that his choice of VP is Alec Baldwin.

The past week did remind me of October 1987; a crappy week, ending with a horrible Friday, and a following Monday that made every specialist on the NYSE shit the bed. The capitulation finally took place on that Tuesday morning, and then followed by markets gyrating less violently over the next few months, but generally headed higher for the next 4 years. Then there was the October crash of 1991. That blow-off came after a cycle of merger mania and culminated with the crash landing of attempted buyout of AMR.

The '94 sell-off was inspired by margin-fueled buying of Russian bonds--it was a long time ago, but that blow-off was credited to hedge fund Long Term Capital, whose bets on Rusky debt were emulated by every major bank, simply because they were all 'piggy backing' on what they thought was the best black box around.

The Internet Bubble of 2000 was simple to call. The writing was on every wall. And, even if the fall of 2008 market meltdown had Madoff's name attached to the tail leg according to the image below, we all remember that period for proving to be the washout from the financial market crapout that will go down in infamy.

What's my point? The chart to the right, which extends back to 1998 thru today, leads me to wonder whether breaking below 16,000 on the DJIA might lead to a decline down to 14,000 area. That would equate to a 20% sell-off, and a 20% sell-off brings the phrase 'recession' to mind. The fact is, when people feel poorer on paper, they don't spend as much money. No new 'Benz this year, that $20mil condo is put on hold. Restaurants suffer, etc etc. The emotional blowback that comes from 10% declines leads to tightening the belts. We call this austerity spending. And we all know what happens during austerity spending. Shit gets much worse.

16,000 is a relatively important 'level' because after it being a peak price in both 2000 and 2007, the markets roared through that level and have remained above that level for the last few years. However, charts are good indicators of where stock prices have been, not always a predictor of where stock prices will be. Bears and Bulls make money, Pigs get slaughtered.

I don't believe the world is coming to an end. I don't believe that events unfolding in China will trigger a global recession. I don't believe that oil will trade below $32 and if goes to $28, I'd recommend leasing a tanker and filling it up. If you country club types are still sitting on those energy MLPs...I wish you luck. You were sold a bill of goods when you bought them, you knew it and you were determined to throw caution to the wind.

This is a good time to buying dividend stocks that have just sold off 10%+. Its not a good time to buy Tesla stock. Its probably a great time to put in your orders for the upcoming Match Group IPO. During lousy times in the market, people want to hook up so they can get some kind of emotional and physical gratification when their financial statements are taking a toll on them.

BLM

Trump Sues Toilet Paper Co For Defamation and #DumpTrump Slogan

2015-07-31T16:22:00.001-04:00

As much as I was hoping for a summer vacation from blogging, I almost peed my pants when I saw the headline "Trump Sues Toilet Paper Co..." Madoff Says: Even I can't make this sh*t up!

Here's the background: in advance of the first GOP "Debate Dump", it appears that a very creative initiative is pushing across social media to advance the #DumpTrump "movement"... (pun intended!)

To your left is an illustrative of a brilliant "portable TP" product; no standard toilet paper dispenser required; each individual mini roll of TP comes packaged within a plastic container and is perfect for those who are "on the go", "really need to go" and everyone here at ButtHole Heaven (aka Butner) is using it..Talk about being great for the can! LOL

Anyway, I'm hearing that Donald Trump plans to file a lawsuit to shut down this movement before he can take his next dump...

If you want to join the #dumptrump movement and load up on this great gift product (Trust Me, this is also a a great investment in political campaign memorabilia) you can go directly to the campaign headquarters for this product by clicking this link

Summer Vacation for Bernie Madoff-Adios Donald Trump

2015-07-13T21:37:00.001-04:00

The world is getting crazier every day, and the stuff that I did is pale in comparison to the bizarre way in which the world is turning.

1. Greece. Other than the fact that the people of Greece have morphed into an entitlement society and concurrently, the country has a 25% unemployment rate, Germany's determination to impose aggressive and egregious austerity measures on the Greek people is the wackiest position in the world. Yes, for the time being the can is being kicked down the road. And, Yes..because the Germans murdered tens of millions of people across Europe less than 60 years ago, the current generation is pre-programmed to be imposing shits. Hypocritical and Ungrateful are two phrases that come to mind (aside from Nazi Bastard) when considering that Germany's population benefited from the largesse and fair thinking of the Greeks during critical European government discussions that envisioned imposing strict austerity measures on Germans to cover the costs of post WWII rebuilding. Greeks are Good. They were the first democracy in modern times. They also have great beaches.

2. Donald Trump. The word 'fucking lunatic' doesn't cover it. The fact that media is playing exactly into his hands and has driven him to a vaulted position in the early 2016 Presidential election polls proves only two things: (i) Trump should have had the same luck when operating casinos in NJ--how many times did he bankrupt those properties?? (ii)-the people of this country are predominantly stupid, best illustrated by how easily-manipulated we are by the media.

I believe in the 1st Amendment. For you morons who don't know what that is (including the tens of dozens of knuckle head federal govt employees who I know are reading this), its the one that provides for Freedom of Speech. That said, Trump is entitled to say whatever he wants, as long he doesn't scream "Fire!" in a movie theater occupied by other people. Well actually, there are a bunch of things one can't say without breaking the law, and one would think Trump's comments with regard to Mexico and China might be included, but for the time being, they're just stupid and repulsive. The point is we can't blame Trump, we should blame the media outlets only make money if they make big ratings, and they only know how to make ratings by profiling train wrecks, natural disasters, terrorist attacks, crime, liars, cheaters and of course, sex. Trump probably earns a check mark for at least four of the above. But we really should be blaming ourselves. If we don't the turn the channel and go to something more intellectual like the Cartoon Channel, the media outlets will earn the viewer ratings and keep shoving shit through your TV screen.

Here's an idea: Donald Trump and Alec Baldwin run together on the same ticket. We can call it the Bloviator Party. If they don't get on any ballots, they should be forced to do what Baldwin promised to do if George Bush were elected president-give up his US passport and leave the country. And even though they are 180 degree opposites in terms of political beliefs, they've both been fired by NBC, and if you can't keep a job there for being a lunatic, where can you??

3. ISIS. What a cluster-fu*k. When you're in a fight with someone who is using a lethal weapon that aims to destroy society and human norms as we know it, you need to be (i) better at using that weapon, or (ii) you need to find a surprise weapon that cuts the heart out of your enemy. Their message is being delivered by and their combatants are being recruited by social media and the internet. To you fartbrains that believe "privacy policy" supercedes the need to use every tool available to prevent the metastasizing of the ISIS virus, you should take 2 minutes to contemplate what is more important: preventing your daughter from being recruited and blowing up an elementary school down the street from your house, or whether you give a shit as to who is reading your emails and knows who you called lately.

4. Iran. At risk of using a phrase that Donald Trump would use, trust me when I tell you that their government is not our friend. They are really not anyone else's friend other than those who want to (i) blow us back into mid-evil times with a nuclear bomb. The people of Iran are a different story. Their legacy of great thought-leadership extends back hundreds of years. OK, a bunch of which has always been dedicated to enslaving or wiping out Jews. Aside from that point, one could argue that generally speaking, humans are pre-programmed to procreate and evolve and continually advance. If not, what the f#ck is the purpose of being here? The point is that making any "deal" with the current regime in Iran is like a scene out of Laurel and Hardy. It's a big joke that will lead to a balloon blowing up in your face. Let's break into their internet connections and the next 10 times anyone in Iran logs into the Internet, they get pushed a video of Bruce Jenner explaining why he is a transgender. And then have a clip of thousands of Iranians cheering in the streets. Social Media Propaganda 101. This shit works, trust me.

5. The markets. Pretty simple-short gold and try to get yourself private market shares of Palantir Technologies . If they're smart they'll never go public. The company should be valued at $1tril if Uber is worth $50bil. Think the personal-data-capture-power of Facebook, Google, Twitter, Instagram and ten other platforms combined, add in the computing powers of Point72, Renaissance Technologies, Hudson Trading, Goldman, DE Shaw, Tinber Hill, then multiply by 5 and blend into a mega meta data machine on steroids. That's the power of Palantir.

Beyond that, the price of oil is probably going to go up more than it will go down in the next 12 months. The Fed won't likely raise interest rates before the end of the year. Corporate debt issuance will remain robust for the foreseeable future and equity market prices will gyrate not much more than 10%-15% on the down side and probably no more than 5% on the upside for the balance of the year. Go the Hamptons or Nantucket and relax. The rest of the summer is going to be hot, thanks to global warming.

I could go on and on, but I've decided to take a break from long form writing and instead, for the rest of the summer I'll just tweet stories that make me smirk.
BLM

Dead Men Tell No Lies-Dimes DiPascali Now Deceased

2015-05-11T08:41:00.000-04:00

From: Bernie Madoff
To: Frankie D.

I told you that smoking cigarettes would kill you, you dope. And, now you're dead. Well, now that you're in that great big fishing boat in the sky, you can sing "I did it my way" all day long. Ok, so maybe Sinatra's tune could be re-worded to "I did it Bernie's way!"

As much as you would have likely been sent to a camp, being a rat and dropping counterfeit dimes on long-time co-workers would hardly have endeared you to anyone "on the inside." The good news is that my hot chick gal pal Erin Arvedlund is going to memorialize for you eternity in a follow-on book, and from what I hear, this one is going to be a great beach reader for mystery fans. Chock full of conspiracy theories, hit men and hidden treasurers.

You did everything I told you to do, and you made yourself a boatload of money along the way. You even managed to buy yourself a six-year long, stay-out-of-jail card. You didn't spend a single night in jail and the Key Stone Kops never found the buried treasure. Pretty impressive stuff. Worthy of inscription on any tombstone!

My condolences to your family.

Thanks for the memories!
BLM

Condolences to The Cohns. Sonny Was A Great Bagman!

2015-05-08T10:30:00.001-04:00

To: Marilyn & Marcia
From: Bernie Madoff

My sincere condolences. Sonny was a swell guy, and with his long time friendship and business partnership, he helped swell our wallets and helped fill the fuel tank for our flights on the "CohMad 1" jet to Switzerland..Those were the days!

I think about him often and still keep this photo in my wallet!

I will always remember his dedication to the causes that mattered most (his bank account) and his determination to make sure you girls always lived like queens. And, that donation to North Shore Hospital was a true masterpiece of self-serving PR philanthropy--I won't stop laughing over the fact that your name sits over the front entrance to the emergency room entrance with a big sign that displays "Marilyn and Maurice Cohn Trauma Center." Talk about poetic irony! Brilliant!!

Trust me when I tell you there are still lots of folks over at Glen Oaks and Boca Rio who would love to know how he stayed above the fray and managed to not only avoid the silver bracelets, but how he persevered and never paid a dime towards the SEC's judgment and how for the past seven years, and until the day he passed, he managed to get one court delay after another without forking over a penny to Irv Picard.

Some of the great stories that we will all remember include the following snippets:
1. Not everyone gets an eternal mention in Wikipedia!

2. How many of us get top billing with ABC News??

3. And that house in Amagansett? A beauty!! What a great ROI too!

4. One of the best settlements in history. He proved what I always knew about those muppets at the SEC!

5. Duck and Jab. Duck and Jab. He was like a champion prizefighter!

6. One for the judicial record books!

My thoughts to you and the family. Sonny is now at that great golf club in the sky.
BLM

Late Post: Court Decision re: Interest Payments on Madoff Investor 'Losses": Denied--Duh!

2015-02-24T17:37:00.000-05:00

To: Helen "Hell On Wheels" Chaitman
From: Bernie Madoff

Had I not been so been busy playing in a backgammon tournament with Junior (Persico), and then distracted re final requests from ABC for me to approve their choosing Richard Dreyfuss to play me in an upcoming film (he really doesn't look too much like me though), I would have opined on last Friday's court decision sooner. You know--the one that finally put down your bizarre claim that investors should be entitled to receiving interest on the money they deposited with me.

The full news story courtesy of Reuters is below. I am only compelled to remind you and everyone else that were it not for your absolutely ridiculous argument, the 'casualties' in Boca and elsewhere would have received payments from Picard et al months, and arguably years sooner than they have to date. I know of at least 10 such people who have since died..that's right..d-e-a-d without having received the balances that were held back by Picard, all because of your irresponsible ambulance-chasing. Shame on you.

(Reuters) - Victims of Bernard Madoff's massive fraud are not entitled to inflation or interest adjustments on their claims, a federal appeals court ruled on Friday, in a decision that could speed the return of more than $1 billion to the swindler's former customers.

Irving Picard, the trustee liquidating Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, said he will seek permission from a federal bankruptcy judge to distribute that sum, on top of $7.2 billion paid out so far, as soon as possible.

Picard has kept the additional money in reserve because of litigation over whether former customers deserved "time-based" damages on claims arising from Madoff's Ponzi scheme that was uncovered in 2008.

In Friday's decision, the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New York said that because the Securities Investor Protection Act, a federal law that helps victims of failed brokerages, did not address such damages, Picard had the flexibility to choose the fairest method to determine the size of valid claims.

Writing for a unanimous three-judge panel, Circuit Judge Chester Straub also said it would be unfair to adjust for inflation and interest the claims of earlier customers, at the expense of later customers.
"Even if all customer property were miraculously recovered, it would be insufficient to satisfy customer claims to the extent such claims were increased to reflect inflation," Straub wrote. "An inflation adjustment to net equity claims could allow some customers to obtain, in effect, a protection from inflation for which they never bargained."

Friday's decision upheld a Sept. 2013 ruling by U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Burton Lifland in Manhattan.
Lifland said Madoff's customers had not bargained for inflation protection or guaranteed returns, and that calculating inflation and interest adjustments would be impossible because their final account statements had been fabricated.

No decision has been made on further appeals.
"It's obviously a disappointment," Greg Schwed, who argued the appeal for some claimants, said in a phone interview.

Amanda Remus, a spokeswoman for Picard, called the decision an "important milestone," saying the only obstacle to the additional payout was a further appeal. Picard is hopeful any further delay would be viewed as "pointless," she said.

Lifland died in January 2014. Picard has recouped $10.55 billion for Madoff victims who lost an estimated $17.5 billion of principal. Madoff, 76, is serving a 150-year prison term after pleading guilty to running a decades-long fraud.

The case is In re: Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, No. 14-97.

Bernie's Bongiorno Driving Herself via Bentley to Camp Fed-Go Girl, Go!

2015-02-20T17:54:00.000-05:00

To: Bernie
From. A. Bongiorno (aka "Nan")

You were right for pointing me to Mo and Ro; two of the best lawyers in the world!

Thanks to them (and to the Judge, of course!), I don't have to cram my 4ft by 4ft body into into a shit seat on JetBlue, and I'm allowed to drive myself down to the Federal pen in Florida! Yes, I still have the Bentley, so I'm thinking the drive won't be so bad..and maybe Rudy and I can find some Shake Shacks to stop at on the way!

I only hope they have a car storage facility there--Rudy loves driving his Mercedes and I'd shit my pants if I knew he was driving my car and lounging in our new $6mil pad in Boca!

Listen, hon...I hope all is good and thanks for your support!
Love,
A.B.

I Told You So..Madoff Investors Receive Another Payout From Picard

2015-02-09T16:41:00.001-05:00

February 09, 2015 Press release from the office of Irving H. Picard, SIPA Trustee for the liquidation of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC (BLMIS)

February 09, 2015 11:20 AM Eastern Standard Time Irving H. Picard, Securities Investor Protection Act (SIPA) Trustee for the liquidation of Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, said today that the fifth pro rata interim distribution of recoveries from the Customer Fund to eligible BLMIS customers commenced on Friday, February 6, 2015.

In the fifth interim distribution, the SIPA Trustee distributed approximately $355.8 million on a pro rata basis to BLMIS account holders with allowed claims, which brought the total amount distributed to eligible claimants to more than $7.2 billion, which includes $823.7 million in committed advances from the Securities Investor Protection Corporation (SIPC).

“Every distribution of recovered funds marks another significant step forward for the victims of Madoff’s Ponzi scheme,” said Mr. Picard. “The efforts of my global team continue unabated and we remain committed and highly motivated to recover further substantial funds which were stolen in the Madoff fraud and return them to their rightful owners.”

SIPC President and CEO Stephen P. Harbeck said, “The excellent results to date show that the Bankruptcy Code and the Securities Investor Protection Act give the Trustee the ability to recover assets for the investors who lost their funds in this financial tragedy. SIPC supports the Trustee fully in his efforts to maximize the returns to the victims. To that end, SIPC pays for all of the administrative expenses necessary to recover assets for distribution in the Madoff proceeding. All of the funds recovered are distributed to customers. No customer money is used for administrative expenses. We look forward to additional distributions as soon as possible.”
“2015 will be another significant year for the Madoff Recovery Initiative,” said David J. Sheehan, Chief Counsel to the SIPA Trustee. “Not only do we anticipate substantial recoveries for the BLMIS Customer Fund, we are also looking ahead to several critical legal rulings which have the potential to release billions of dollars, currently held in reserve, for immediate distribution to eligible claimants.”

The fifth distribution was paid on claims relating to 1,077 BLMIS accounts, to record holders of allowed claims as of January 15, 2015. The fifth pro rata interim distribution resulted in the return of 2.743 percent of the allowed claim amount for each individual account, unless the allowed claim has been fully satisfied. The average payment for an allowed claim issued in the fifth distribution totaled approximately $330,000.00, the smallest payment totaled approximately $431.00 and the largest approximately $67.1 million.

Funds for the fifth distribution were primarily generated from recent settlements negotiated by the SIPA Trustee’s BakerHostetler legal team with feeder funds Herald/Primeo and Senator. The SIPA Trustee’s special counsel at Windels Marx reached a settlement with the Blumenfeld defendants in the same period. Together, more than $642 million was recovered for the BLMIS Customer Fund through these settlements. In addition, other settlement recoveries through December 31, 2014 were also included in the fifth distribution. The Bankruptcy Court approved the SIPA Trustee’s allocation and distribution motion on January 15, 2015.

Currently, the SIPA Trustee has allowed 2,551 claims related to 2,216 BLMIS accounts. Of these accounts, 1,160 accounts were fully satisfied following the fifth interim distribution. All allowed claims totaling $976,592.00 or less were also fully satisfied. The fifth interim distribution, when combined with the four prior interim distributions, satisfied up to 48.802 percent of each customer’s allowed claim amount unless the account was fully satisfied.

As of December 31, 2014, the SIPA Trustee had recovered or reached agreements to recover more than $10.5 billion since his appointment in December 2008. These recoveries exceed similar efforts related to prior Ponzi scheme recoveries, in terms of dollar value and percentage of stolen funds recovered. Ultimately, 100 percent of the SIPA Trustee’s recoveries will be allocated to the Customer Fund for distribution to BLMIS customers with allowed claims.
Prior distributions by the SIPA Trustee (as of February 6, 2015) to BLMIS accounts with allowed claims were as follows:
• The first pro rata interim distribution, which commenced on October 5, 2011, has distributed approximately $605.2 million, representing 4.602 percent of the allowed claim amount of each individual account, unless the claim was fully satisfied.
• The second pro rata interim distribution, which commenced on September 19, 2012, has distributed approximately $4.395 billion, representing 33.556 percent of the allowed claim amount of each individual account, unless the claim was fully satisfied.
• The third pro rata interim distribution, which commenced on March 29, 2013, has distributed approximately $614.3 million, representing 4.721 percent of the allowed claim amount of each individual account, unless the claim was fully satisfied.
• The fourth pro rata interim distribution, which commenced on May 5, 2014, has distributed approximately $413.0 million, representing 3.180 percent of each individual account, unless the claim was fully satisfied.
More information on overall recoveries to date and the ongoing liquidation can be found on the SIPA Trustee’s website: www.madofftrustee.com.
Messrs. Picard, Harbeck and Sheehan would like to thank Seanna Brown and Heather Wlodek, who worked on the fifth pro rata interim distribution and its related filings, as well as the legal firms of BakerHostetler and Windels Marx, and all of the attorneys and professionals whose work has led to the distribution. They would also like to thank Vineet Sehgal and his colleagues at AlixPartners, as well as Kevin Bell and his colleagues at SIPC, for their ongoing work and participation in the Madoff Recovery Initiative distributions.

2015 New Year Resolution From Bernie Madoff

2015-01-01T15:23:00.002-05:00

First, allow me to extend New Year's greetings to all of my fans and followers. I wish all of you great health, happiness and prosperity in 2015.

Well, actually, I don't wish that upon all of you; there are a bunch of boneheads who come to this blog and are still trying to figure out whether its really me that is blogging and tweeting, or if its a muse of mine. For those idiots, I can only say "trust me" and to remind you that it really is me.

There are also a bunch of others who I wish nothing for; those who follow this blog with the hope that you might discover that I'm sick and soon-to-die. As you can see, I'm not ready to kick the bucket just yet.

My resolution for the new year is to continue to provide exclusive insight to the Madoff story, my opinions about the financial markets, along with sharing thoughts about the stupid, unethical, or just plain wacky behavior perpetrated by others, which likely includes mention of an assortment of public-profile narcissists who are convinced they are smarter or more sophisticated than the rest of us.

That's it. I won't be revealing the location of any secret stash of cash that Jeff Picower has stowed away. I won't be "walking back" and pointing fingers at any one new who might have enabled the events that led to "the greatest Ponzi Scheme in history."

I will however offer an opportunity this year for folks who would like to serve as guest contributors to this platform. I've also decided to allow corporate sponsors to promote their products and services here and in my tweets, as long as they are legal. If you're interested, you'll be able to figure out how to contact me.

Before I forget to add, I'll continue to profile prolific journalists who actually know how to investigate and report newsworthy stories. My pick of the month is courtesy of investigative journalist Richard Behar, whose January 1 Forbes piece was very nicely done, even if Rich has an "axe" against me personally.
Best regards,
BLM

Chanukah Brings Madoff Victims More Gelt In Recoveries; 1% Checks Delivered

2014-12-19T18:42:00.000-05:00

From: Bernie Madoff
To: Former Customers

Happy Chanukah...Although the news media has somehow failed to jump on this story, by now you should have received a nice recovery check in the mail courtesy of bankruptcy trustee agent AxialPartners.

I'm not recommending that you invest the 1% of your net loss amount check in Oil futures, stocks, or some of those wacky-ass Energy "MLPs" that have just given up 50% of their NAV in the past 3 weeks. And if you had money with that FO in CT that is telling clients they should double down on the investments he made for them, its going to take a long time to get even.

Despite all of the obvious negatives, I'm hearing that Uber is "very interesting" to top hedge fund folks, including 2 big ones who turned down the very recent chance to exit their first round investment at a $40bil valuation. Despite their 4x return in 2 years, and despite all of the known headwinds this company is facing each day.

BLM

Anniversary Note: A Madoff Letter to Judge Swain

2014-12-05T14:30:00.001-05:00

To: The Honorable Laura Taylor Swain
From: Bernard Madoff
re: Dec 8 Sentencing

Dear Judge Swain:

We all know that we are days away from the 6 year anniversary of my "coming out" and acknowledging being the ring leader of a scheme that swiped serious bucks from a bunch of people. The fact that the sentencing date for several members of my staff is falling 3 days shy of that 6 year anniversary is likely a coincidence, but its more than likely this milestone date will influence your decision as to the severity of whatever prison sentence(s) that you will be handing down this coming Monday.

That said, I am compelled to appeal to your compassion and to remind you of my recent letter in which I repeated that the only people who were knowingly complicit in the scheme was Dimes Dipascali. It would seem obvious that among others, Nan Bongiorno (whose picture on the above left required a wide-angle lens) would not be a good candidate for a lengthy (or even a short ) stay in any prison, if only because it would cost the government thousands of dollars to retrofit any federal facility to facilitate her needs.

Aside from the fact that Nan couldn't possibly fit into a traditional, prison cell bunk bed, whatever venue she would be sent to would certainly have to reconfigure the commodes in order to accommodate her. Otherwise, her attorneys will have plenty of ammo to appeal any sentence you hand down on the grounds of 'cruel and unusual punishment' were "Nan" to have to serve time. And, let's not forget the additional costs to feed her. As you can easily see, this is a woman with an outsized appetite and trust me when I tell you that she could not possibly subsist on the menu that is typically available to inmates at most Federal 'camps'.

The irony is that Dimes is still dancing around thanks to his 'cooperation'...Based on my own knowledge of sociopathy, the fact that his "testimony" was the principal factor that brought these defendants to your court room is merely a classic example of how crazy the world is.

With those thoughts, I extend to you warm season's greetings.

BLM
Butner Camp

Best Laugh of Day: CNBC Kernen and Sorkin Square Off : SEC Staffer Personal Trading Accounts

2014-11-21T08:37:00.000-05:00

So far, the best laugh of the day comes courtesy of CNBC aka "Stock Market's Cartoon Channel" re exchange between Andrew Sorkin and Joe Kernen on the topic of whether SEC staffers should continue to be allowed to trade in their "PAs" (personal trading account), when considering their unique access to inside information:

Sorkin: "So, Joe...do you think that prohibiting SEC employees from trading for their personal accounts is a good or a bad idea?"

Kernen: "Hey, if we (CNBC employees) can't, and if members of Congress are now subject to new rules that prohibit their trading in their PAs, I don't think SEC staffers should be allowed to, either."

Sorkin: "Do you think if the SEC introduces rules that prohibit that type of activity, it will impact the caliber of folks that they hire?"

Kernan: "The caliber of folks that work there?? It couldn't get any worse, can it?"

Enough said on that topic..

More Millions for Madoff Trustee: What About The Victims Waiting For Payment?

2014-11-14T15:58:00.002-05:00

...this comes from the WSJ:
I'll preface this by posing the rhetorical question to Irv P. on behalf of those who are still communicating with me: "WHEN IS THE NEXT DISTRIBUTION TO CLAIMANTS GOING TO BE RELEASED?"

A Manhattan bankruptcy judge will consider a settlement Tuesday that raises millions of dollars for Bernard Madoff‘s cheated investors.

Under the deal, real-estate developer Edward Blumenfeld, as well as his family and company, will return $32.75 million in cash that they received from investing with Mr. Madoff before the 2008 collapse of his Ponzi scheme.
They’ll also surrender $29.35 million in claims against Mr. Madoff’s investment firm.

The settlement, the product of multiple mediation sessions, resolves litigation that trustee Irving Picard brought in December 2010 to recover $88 million that Mr. Blumenfeld and the other defendants received from Mr. Madoff in the six years before his arrest, including $27 million in false profits. The lawsuit also sought to knock out the claims the defendants brought against Mr. Madoff’s firm.

Mr. Blumenfeld and his fellow defendants disputed the lawsuit and denied that they received the payments from Mr. Madoff’s investment firm with any knowledge or suspicion of fraud.
Mr. Picard, who is overseeing the liquidation of Mr. Madoff’s firm, says the deal will avoid the need for costly and time-consuming litigation.

Mr. Picard has recovered or struck deals to recover more than $9.8 billion of the $17.3 billion in principal that Mr. Madoff was convicted of stealing from investors. More than half of the recovered funds have been returned to investors.

Libor Scandal Scoop..Happy Anniversary To...From Bernie Madoff

2014-10-07T10:21:00.002-04:00

First, I need to extend kudos to my gal pal Erin Arvedlund for once again being the first to offer the most in-depth look at yet another global banking scandal. You don't need to look far to find it..just scroll to the left!!

Erin Arvedlund

Erin's book, which is scheduled to hit the store shelves shortly (and one that I have a first edition of next to my nightstand) is head and shoulders above all of the news reports that are only now finding their way in large block trades to the front pages of the NY Times and Wall Street Journal. Were it not for Erin, this story wouldn't make it past the New York Post's Page 6. Trust me on this!

Speaking of Page 6, extending anniversary greetings to my second favorite author. I liken his style to the likes of Norb Vonnegut, David Baldacci and Scott Turow. Today apparently marks the 12th anniversary of events that led to his penning a fascinating read.

Defending Andrew Madoff's $16million estate-Dead Men Tell No Lies

2014-09-13T13:11:00.002-04:00

Regarding the "just revealed" news that my recently-deceased son Andrew Madoff left behind an estate valued at $16 million (give or take), let me say this about that:

1. One could argue whether the estate, approximately 1/3 of which represents the value of residences he acquired courtesy of personal loans that I extended to him in the year preceding my firm's collapse, should be subject to "claw back" efforts by Irv Picard.

2. One could further debate whether the additional $11 million in "personal property" was attained via smartly investing the income he made while working for my brokerage firm. Yes, that firm was not so profitable during the 5-7 years leading up to its closing, leading some to question how he could have earned so much from his job if the firm was not really very successful, and certainly not to the extent that his out-sized compensation could be justified.

3. What many might further wonder about is how Irv Picard and Co have never been able to claw back the millions of dollars that his account at my firm grew to after an initial deposit of a few hundred thousand that I put into that account.

4. Did his side investment in a sport fishing equipment company produce outsized gains, or just some Cod? Did his foray into other private investments produce Icahn-style returns?

4. Because Andrew insisted, up until the day he died, that I was effectively dead to him because of the shame I brought upon my house, I was still his father. And, as his father, I think its unfair to speak poorly of the deceased.

5. More important, he's leaving behind a hottie girl friend who is surely entitled to $50k a month for her living expenses. After all, she stayed by his side throughout the past 6 years without even having an understanding of what she might inherit in the event of his death. And let's face it, it costs alot of money to have a nice lifestyle these days.

6. And let's not forget his wife, who filed for divorce the day I turned myself in (thanks to the the advice of some shrewd lawyers) and who since withdrew that motion in February of this year, is surely entitled to be compensated for the embarrassment she suffered from, as should the two daughters Andrew left behind. Nobody should have to work too hard, and nobody should have to subsist on a few measly shekels, and certainly, everyone should have something to look forward to as a cushion.