I'm Just Gaying...

I Read It And Tweeted It

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:03:00 +0000

I have a new favorite religious nut-job/hobo. Every morning at the Jefferson Park Blue Line stop here in Chicago, there is a gentleman holding a sign the fervently proclaims that Saturday is, in fact, the Sabbath, not Sunday as is commonly observed. He claims this was so decreed by Jesus himself, so therefore anyone "celebrating" the Sabbath on Sunday is obviously a sinner of immeasurable proportion. But that's not what makes him my new favorite. What clenched that honored title is this: when you walk by him, he yells at you to "Read it, then Tweet it." Awesome.

This tells me a few things. Most importantly, it tells me that Twitter is dead. Once the religious hobos are on board with the newest social media trend, it can only mean that the trend has reached critical mass and is about to implode upon itself. However, it also tells me that there is apparently a Very Important Debate about when the Sabbath actually is, which is a debate I have been ignorant of until recently. I suppose that's due to my general contempt toward Christianity, but I would think at least Fox News would be running non-stop terror stories about how the Jews are out to kill all Christians (or something equally hilarious/sad) because they practice Sabbath on Saturday versus the Christian's obviously superior Sunday… but that hasn't happened, which is why I guess I didn't know about it.

It also tells me that Jeff Park is now the new Market of Religious Nutbaggery. At least in the mornings. Every morning, there are at least 5 religious douches handing out all sorts of flyers, pamphlets and propaganda, asking to talk to you about Jesus, and now screaming at you to Tweet about it. Which I did, natch.

I would say that I should find a new route to work, but frankly these zealots provide more entertainment in the mornings than I get all day at work, so I have to keep going that way. I never get these kind of Nuttishness anywhere else since I don't go through downtown anymore, and it's good to be reminded from time-to-time that I live in a giant city that is big enough to produce absolutely insane religious freak bags. And that makes me happy.

Gaga And Beyonce Go Lesbian

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 12:43:00 +0000

I don't know what else to say about this video. It's pure Win! Gaga, Beyonce, and lesbians galore... oh, and wonder woman inspired costumes. There is absolutely nothing that is not perfect in this video.

Watch it. Now!

I don't think I EVER expected Beyonce to do something like this, much less play a lesbian, if by innuendo only. After Gaga's extremely gay-centric Some Me Your Teeth video, I'm not too surprised to see her bust out something lesbianesque, but Beyonce doing it just seems.... well, perfect!

Lesbians. Jail. Cabaret-inspired outfits. "Sunglasses" made of smoking cigarettes. Beyonce committing mass homicide. A big-ass truck named the "Pussy Wagon." If that's not enough to make you watch this 10-minute clip, you probably don't have a soul anymore.

How To Gay It Up In Class, Sci-Fi Style

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 18:37:00 +0000

Or SyFy style… however the kids are spelling it these days.

A few weeks ago, the fiancé and I sat down to start watching the new SyFy show Caprica, which is a spin off of Battlestar Galactica. Battlestar is quite possibly one of the best science fiction shows to have graced cable TV, a show which explored the depths of human nature, what it means to be human, and what it means to fight for survival. Caprica is a prequel to Battlestar and explores the society that created the Cylons to begin with, and looks to be the story of how the Cylons came to be and what leads to their eventual rebellion. (If that didn't make sense to you, you need to go get the complete series of Battlestar on Amazon and start watching today!)

Caprica has been getting a luke warm reception from the Battlestar fans and mainly because so far we're seeing much less "action" than we did in Battlestar. In Battlestar, we saw explosions and drama and fights, but so far in Caprica we've only seen character exploration, some drama, a tiddley bit of fighting and one explosion. But what can you expect from the first few episodes of a series? This is the exposition, the start of the tale, the part of the story that needs to be drawn out so that later pieces make sense. Regardless of the reception though, SyFy is remaining publicly committed to the show, noting that they never expected huge ratings right off the bat and that they knew going in that the series would take some time to grow. This is great news, not just for fans of great science fiction, but also for fans of well-rounded characters and gay-inclusive shows.

One of the main characters in the show, Sam Adama (pictured right), is tough, strong and a bit of a strong arm. Oh, he's also in the mafia. Well, Caprica's version of the mafia: a group of Taurons, or people from the colony of Tauron (in the Battlestar lore, there are 13 colonies one different planets each named after a Greek God/Constellation). He's the go-to guy it seems, the guy that actually does things like roughing people up or potentially killing mob targets. In short, he's a force to be reckoned with. And he's gay.

I was supremely impressed with how they "revealed" this character to be gay. With the way we are programmed in our society, we often just assume a character is straight until told otherwise, so there had to be some sort of "reveal," but the way they handled this on Caprica just blew me away. Basically, there was no reveal. There was no big moment or conversation or argument, it was simply presented in a way that helped characterize the character and society as a world where sexuality is completely a non-issue.

What was the reveal? Sam was walking through Little Tauron with young William Adama (who is the commanding General throughout Battlestar Gallactica), introducing him to the Tauron culture that Will's father (the smoking hot Esai Morales of NYPD Blue fame pictured right) had been depriving him of, and Sam told Will that he and Joseph (Will's father) use to come to a market there when they were younger and Sam would try to pick up guys while Joseph would walk away with girl's phone numbers. That was it. Just a casual reference to their lives as kids with not a single moment of shock or having "the talk." It was brilliant.

Since that episode, we've seen Sam with his husband a couple of times and Sam has made mention of his husband in a few conversations and not a single issue has arisen in the show as a result of it. And it's not because people are afraid to say something to the gangster, it's because it's simply not a characteristic that would cause problems.

TV producers should be taking notes at this point as this is how you handle gay characters, particularly in Sci-Fi. The occasional "gay as victim of our cruel society" is appropriate because that still happens these days, but portraying every gay character as someone that has to face insurmountable societal pressures is getting a bit old. Not to mention that when I watch fantasy television about a future society (or previous society, depending on your take of Battlestar lore), I like to think that society will have progressed beyond many of the issues we still face today and that sexuality will have become a non-issue. Sex, on the other hand, will likely always cause issues, but sexual identity should not.

Bravo, SyFy! Your rebranded name still sucks, but this show is a great success in my eyes, both for presenting gay characters in a fantastic manner and for being a overall captivating story.

Sad State Of My Guitar

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 15:07:00 +0000

This weekend I decided to string up my 12-sting and get to playing again. But, as luck would have it, fate was not particularly on my side and I busted my low E-string while trying to tune up the guitar… it has been so long that I forgot how to properly tune Wesley up (Wesley is the name of my guitar… that's a story for another time).

I'm really not sure what has kept me away from my guitar for so damn long. I love writing music, I love pouring over the creative process of it all and love exploring emotions in song that I may not be able to process in writing or through some other creative process. What I hate is trying to remember how to play some of my favorite songs that I wrote. Last time I picked up my guitar I tried to play one song in particular that I really like and simply could not remember it. I was beyond frustrated by that!

I don't think I can ever make a career at being a musician. I love music, and although music is truly a passion of mine, I just don't think I have the particular gumption to make it a real career. That does not mean, however, that I shouldn't pursue it for pleasure and fun. I want to record an album at some point as well, if for no other reason than for posterity and to say I did it.

But, that will all have to wait until I can make it to Guitar Center again and pick up a new set of strings. Well, another new set. When I get a few things set up, and when I get back in the swing of things, I'll be sure to post a few songs up here for y'all to check out. Just promise to not be mean!

Double Standard

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 13:56:00 +0000

I just need to put this out into the world, because I think this is a huge double standard. If a dog so much as bites someone, there will be public outcry to put the dog down. Said dog mist be unstable and unbalanced, so it does not have the right to live. If a dog killed someone, there would be no question or outcry, the dog would simply be euthanized. End of story.

Yet when a whale kills one person and is linked to two other human deaths, the common reaction is to say "meh"?

Listen, I'm not advocating that the whale be killed, but I'm not understanding why we would bother keeping the whale around and certainly not understanding why anyone would choose to work with the whale now. It either needs to be released to the wild where it's instincts will better serve it or taken away from human contact all together somehow.

For the record, I'm not sure I understand the killing of dogs that are aggressive. Most likely they need a new owner that will train them and treat them correctly. But a dog that shows his willingness to kill 3 times.... Well, let's just say that if your first reaction to that sentence is to put the dog down, then I would say why isn't that also your first reaction to the situation with this Sea World whale?

What's Wrong With Valentine's Day?

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:09:00 +0000

The fiancé picked on me the last week because he's gotten to the point when he knows exactly what will spark a blog entry from me. While I resisted that particular entry (but still have the itch to write it), I can't resist this entry simply because it bothered me so much. I got really agitated by the whole incident and it made me feel like despite any advances we've made as a gay community, there's still a loooooong way to go. So what bothered me so much?

We went to see Valentine's Day.

OK, the movie itself wasn't the problem. I didn't like the movie, he liked it, but frankly anytime Eric Dane walks around half naked it can't be all bad. No, the movie itself did not bother me, aside from its mostly predictable plot. What bothered me was the crowd's reaction to the movie.

Spoilers Ahead

I'll give you a fair warning now, if you haven't seen it and actually care to, STOP READING at this point. I will have some spoilers below… of course, that assumes a movie that is this much of a carbon copy of every other romantic dramedy has anything that can be spoiled.

One of the big spoilers of the flick is that near the end of the movie, it is suddenly revealed to the audience that Eric Dane's character (an "old" NFL quarterback that just came out of the closet… ooops, another spoiler) is actually dating Bradley Cooper's character (who, until that point, had absolutely no reason to be in the movie). This is revealed in a bit of an awkward scene in which Cooper walks into Dane's house to find Dane sleeping shirtless in a chair, walks up to him, brushes a few roses against Dane's cheek to wake him up then bends over and plays with Dane's hair. That's it. No kiss, no "I love you," not even a hug. Just a hand playing in some hair and some doey eyed looks, and since you find out earlier that Dane's character is gay and this is a romance, the audience is left to assume they are a couple.

Before I start in, I do have to give a small amount of credit to the studio and the actors. I honestly thought the scene was sweet and the actors looked like two boys in love. Two very hot boys in love. And this was a story that could easily have been cut from the movie, but the studio plugged ahead and left it in. /golfclap

What's Wrong With The Movie

With that out of the way, I'm beyond baffled as to why the studio decided to minimize this relationship with respect to all the other relationships in this film. All of the other relationships featured expressions of love beyond a cranial massage. Lovers kissed, danced, made love, chased each other down in airports (oh yes… yes, they did)… yet this relationship was merely a 2 minute (if that) clip that only went so far as a few gentle smiles. Is this all the studio can handle showing the public? Is that what they think of gay people? Are we now allowed to love, but not allowed to show it? In this post-Brokeback Mountain era where two A-list males were passionate with each other on screen, are we really so scared of gay romance that we have to reduce it to 1940's style innuendos?

What's Wrong With The Audience

But that wasn't even my biggest gripe with the move. Actually, yes that was. My biggest gripe is not even about the movie itself, it was with the audience. When the "big reveal" happened the audience erupted in snickers and giggles. And yes, even though there were only 30 other people in our showing, erupted is the correct term to use. I'm not the only one that experienced this either, some reviewers warned of this in their screenings as well. Again, in this post-Brokeback World, is this really still an issue to chuckle at? Is it really still funny to some people to see two gay men showing emotion to each other? And if so, can you pretty fucking please explain to me why it is so damned funny?

Taking a step back, I do admit the story was poorly told and that scene, while decently handled by the actors, was very poorly delivered by the director. Maybe it was the overall hokiness of the film getting to the audience? Maybe it was that by this time in the movie, they were just looking for something to laugh at? Or maybe they, like me, thought the movie was just not that great and needed some comic relief?

Or maybe the audience has just gotten used to Hollywood treating gay men as punch lines so they just assume this was a punch line too.

It's All Wrong In The End

Whatever the reasoning, it was very, very aggravating. If I had not already disliked this flick, that would have ruined it for me by itself. Nothing about that scene commanded the audiences respect, and the audience responded in the way they thought was most appropriate: Gays are funny. They should be laughed at and mocked. That is truly a sad state of affairs, on both parts of the equation.

To summarize: A) Don’t waste your time with Valentine's Day, B) Hollywood needs to start treating gay relationships with some fucking respect, and C) Immature straight people need to grow the fuck up and get the hell over their own issues. I had to bust down closet doors and continue to face daily struggles to be who I am, the last thing I need is some "frat-boy" dumbass chuckling it up at my expense in a subversive attempt at attacking my sexuality.

Escapism Is...

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 15:57:00 +0000

Times can get rough real fast. Sometimes there's just nothing we can do about it except put on some good old comfort music and let our minds slip away for awhile.

I have a few bands and artists that fit that bill for me. Anything Stone Temple Pilots or Live always drifts my back to simpler times in high school, early Travis brings back the fun times of college, Soundgarden reminds me of close friends from years ago, Buckcherry reminds me of parties past, and Magnet brings back memories from when the fiancé and I first started dating. Depending on my particular mood on any given day and the memories I need to relax me, I can pull up these bands on my iPhone and slip away for a few minutes.

Music has always been my go to escape. Books and video games also work, but much less ubiquitous in every day life. I can sit at my desk at work with my headphones in and no one cares, but if I tried to boot up World of Warcraft during a "mental health" break, I'm thinking that I'd be summoned to the chambers of HR fairly quickly.

Blogging has become an escape for me as well because it's something else I can do while at work without my consequence. I've always needed a creative outlet for my energies and that use to be song-writing, but while that has taken a bit more of a back burner in recent years, I've turned more to the in-the-moment release that blogging can provide. If you've read my older posts, it should be pretty obvious that most of what I write is unchecked emotion. I've never been the type to write a post and revisit it over and over again, meticulously changing words and phrases, prior to hitting that little publish button. I write, spell check, do a quick once over and add any formatting at the same time, then hit publish.

So what's my point, you may be asking? We all have things that we do to help us deal with issues in tough times. If you're me and a little ADD, you have several things you do in tough times. Other than just stating that, there's no real point to this post other than to give some love to this near neglected blog that desperately needs a facelift.

Many More Details Ironed Out

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 16:45:00 +0000

A lot has happened on the wedding front in the past few weeks! We've nailed down where we are staying, when we are arriving and departing, found our Marriage Commissioner, and even found the location for the wedding. Normally I would have taken the time to write about these things as I went, but time has just not allowed for that. So instead, here's a synopsis of all the new developments:

Where We're Staying

We had been going back and forth about where in Vancouver we wanted to stay. On one hand, we thought a cute Bed and Breakfast outside the city would be nice. The upside of the B&B option is that it would be small and we could probably rent out the entire B&B for a weekend, but the downside is that finding lodging for anyone that couldn't stay at the B&B would be difficult and transporting people to and from would prove a challenge as well. On the other hand we could stay in a hotel in Vancouver proper and block off a set of rooms for our guests. The upside with the hotel would be having everyone centrally located and in the heart of the city, but we'd then be dealing with a Hotel and all their "coporateness" and employees that aren't always the best.

As luck would have it though, we stumbled upon a solution that combines the best of both worlds: The Nelson House B&B, located right in the heart of Vancouver! It's a gay-owned B&B, so there's no question that the place will be friendly to us on our wedding weekend, and it's a smaller, warmer atmosphere, which is what we wanted as well. Further, there are a ton of other hotels within a couple blocks, so any of our quests that can't stay at the B&B have plenty of options, and everyone gets to stay in the heart of the city so transportation is that much easier.

When We're Staying

As I've said before, our wedding will be on June 26. It's a cute date for us because it will be our regular dating anniversary as well. So given that we'll be getting married on a Saturday, we've decided to fly into Vancouver on the Thursday before hand, which will give us time to get settled in and get all of the necessary documents for the marriage. Also, we're planning on sticking around until Tuesday afternoon so that we can see any of our guests off and so we can spend a little bit of time in the city exploring and sight seeing.

Marriage Commissioner

For anyone not marrying in a church, Vancouver requires you hire a licensed Marriage Commissioner to preside over the ceremony. The Canadian government provides a fairly easy-to-search directory if you need to find a Commissioner, but we just asked the owners of the B&B if they had anyone they reccomended. Luckily they did and after emailing with her a few times to make sure our times matched up and such, we booked her.

Location

I say we found the location, and by found I mean we're 95% sure of the location. Our Marriage Commissioner has offered to host the ceremony at her home, and after just a tiny bit of cyber-stalking via Google Maps and Google Earth, I think her place will make a nice setting for our ceremony. We may consider other locations, but to be honest, I think her house will be a great setting and will require a lot less coordination on our part, which is always a plus!

What's Left?

So what's left to plan? Way too many details! We still need to decide on a restaurant to host our reception dinner, figure out how to get from our hotel to the ceremony and back, coordinate guests, and possibly plan other activities for the weekend. And then there's the matter of what to wear. And I'm sure there's about a thousand other details in the mix somewhere that we haven't even thought of yet. In my mind though, we've crossed a critical barrier and have some of the biggest questions out of the way, and I'm both excited and relieved to have these details fleshed out.

It's Time To Lip Synch For Your Life... Again!

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 15:51:00 +0000

Just wanted to drop a note saying that the new season of RuPaul's Drag Race starts tonight on Logo! For those of us out there that don't have Logo (or have the desire to pay for the damn channel because it never seems to be included in the basic cable package…), last season was available on Logo's website to stream usually the day after episode aired, so I'm hoping they'll do the same this year.

I loved last season. It was just a brilliant show and they did A LOT with the bare bones budget they were given. It looks like they were given a much bigger budget for the show this year after the break-out success of the show last year. Certainly they've put a lot of ad money behind it because I've seen tons of ads for the show here in Chicago. Even the bus stop in front of our condo has a giant poster advertising the show, which is both awesome and inspiring. It's also the first show from Logo that I've seen a major ad campaign for, which is great news for the show and the network.

In any case, I'm certainly looking forward to the insanity of this year's show. I have a feeling I'll be posting quite a bit about this year's competitors!

American Idiot: The Musical

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 04:05:00 +0000

I gotta say, this was just about the last this I expected, but it's true: Green Day's American Idiot, one of my favorite albums of all time from one of my top 10 favorite bands, is being transformed into a Broadway Musical. Correction. It has already been turned into a musical, and will be coming to Broadway very soonish.

I didn't know a damned thing about this until the fiance and I were watching the Grammys last night and the cast from the musical came out on stage with the band. But it's been confirmed, and if you're interested in the plot there is also a full blown Wikipedia article for it already.

American Idiot is a fantastic album, and you should buy it from Amazon if you don't own it yet, but a full fledged musical? I suppose it's possible. It was a full on concept album with a loose story in there... somewhere. This will either be brilliant or terrible, and I want to be there to find out!

Now then, if you'll excuse me, I need to go book a flight to New York.

State Of The Wedding Address

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 16:15:00 +0000

I've been quiet on the wedding planning front, and for good reason. Frankly, things have been chaotic and trying to plan everything is taking most of the time that I previously used for blogging about it. I know they say it in the movies, but this one they got right: planning a wedding is hard work!

Looking back at my last wedding update (OMG, I haven't written about this since October??), we were considering the possibility of marrying in Chicago because of the introduction of a marriage equality bill here. However, little to no action has taken place on the bill, so I have to still put that in my "hopefully this will pass" dreams. All that said, we are set on going to Vancouver in Canada for our wedding.

Why Vancouver?

So why Vancouver? A few reasons:

1 - We want to make sure that wherever I get married, my union will be legally recognized. Marrying in Canada means the entire federal government of that country recognizes me and my husband as a married couple, and should we ever need to provide proof of that marriage, we have a legally sanctioned, federal document supporting our nuptials.

2 - We don't want to marry somewhere that may change their minds shortly after we marry. After the debacle in California, I'm not sure I trust any state to continue to support marriage equality. Politicians, and particularly the Democratic Party, are a shifty bunch and voters are even less reliable. We don't want to think about getting married somewhere then two months later some hillbilly down the street changing their minds and revoking our legally married status.

3 - We want to marry somewhere that people actually want us. We don't want to worry about finding a particular church that can possibly tolerate us (not that we would marry in a church, but still…) or a reception hall that would be oh so kind as to "deal" with us queers. No, we'd rather reward someplace that will welcome us and be happy to have us.

4 - That said, Vancouver is both gay friendly and very beautiful. Not to mention it won't be nearly as expensive as it normally would consider the city will still be trying to recover from the tourism slump that always follows being an Olympic Host City.

So What About The Reception?

Another thing we have decided on is the reception. Our initial idea was to host our wedding in Canada for just us, then have a reception in Chicago for our family and friends. While this is a great idea and a very sweet idea, it is frankly just too expensive.

We don't have an endless supply of money to put together both a trip to Canada for our wedding day and a full-on reception, and neither of us is particularly keen on the idea of half-assing a reception. We're doing to whole shebang on our own and have to be mindful of our means. We also refuse to go into debt for this event, which would mean we'd be starting our married life out on the wrong foot all together.

So, we plan on having a small wedding in Canada and an intimate reception while there. I say small because I'm realistic. Asking our friends and family to come to Canada is a big financial commitment. Add to that that people will need to get passports. Now we know people will want to be there, but many of them simply will not be able to make that happen. And that's while that's not optimal, it's OK. Honestly, I'm more concerned with the above issues and we can always have a party in Chicago later or an anniversary party or something.

And here we are, ordering our Save The Date cards and contacting a thousand wedding planners and hotels… let the fun begin!

A Year In Pictures

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 05:34:00 +0000

In which I reveal pictures of me throughout the year to show how much weight I gained throughout the year and have subsequently been losing in the last few months:

Starting the year with last winter.

Then comes the spring... bad t-shirt choice

Moving into the Summer and I'm hiding behind my boyfriend

On into the fall, on our vacation, right before I decided to start losing weight.

Finally, it's New Year's Eve, and I'm shedding the pounds.

Probably seems a bit self involved to post these, but I'm really proud of myself for actually being able to make a change and start losing weight again. I'm down to 169 now. When I started, I was nearly 200 pounds. Only a few more to go and I'm be in my happy "target weight."

Dear DNC: STFU And Stop Whining

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 14:09:00 +0000

Dear Democratic Officials:

Massachusetts is one state. Just on fucking state out off 50. The voters in that one state do not speak for all or the country. If you continue to act like you do not still hold a majority in both houses of Congress, there will be consequences to pay when the November elections roll around.

Right now, you're all pretending as if this one fucking vote is the armeggedon that will end the DNC's chances at accomplishing anything. Let me tell you, if you can't figure out how to make the god damned changes we need with 59 fucking votes in the Senate, then I will be first in line to vote for a non- DNC candidate because you'll obviously failed in politics 101.

Parlimetary procedure, and the interatingly quaint version we use in Congress, is an interesting beast. And philibusters are not the proverbial Fourth Horseman either. Figure it out. Pass fucking health care. The fact that you couldn't do it when you had NOT A SINGLE ROAD BLOCK is unsettling enough, but now you might think about stepping up and getting the job done.

Some are acting like the soft core porn model's election is some sort of refferendum on the DNC or Obama. If you think for even one moment that the voters on Massachusetts represent the entirety of this nation, you are far mistaken. Further, pretending to do so will ultimately be the demise of the democrats. If you flake out now on your agenda, you WILL lose seats in Nomvember. If you suck it up and deliver solid legislation, legislation that fucking means something, you will win. It's truly that simple.

In conclusion, while I know that most of you politicians that are use to getting your way and cry like 2-year-olds when you don't, you need to start acting the 40 to 80-somethings that you are. I know it's a shock for you white, over-privelged fucks over there, but take a moment and realize that your pissy moaning doesn't do a damned thing for those of us that need health care right the fuck now.

You want to make a difference? Then fucking do it. If you don't? Get the hell out of the way so we can elect someone else who will stand up to do the job.

A Quiet Kind Of Christmas

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 19:20:00 +0000

This Christmas was a really special Christmas for me. This year was the first year I was able to celebrate the Holiday with my fiancé in the two and half years we've been together. You see, the past two years I've gone either to Northern Kentucky or Florida to be with my brothers and mom for Christmas. He hasn't been able to join me due to his schedule and working retail during the holiday season (if you've never done it, I recommend avoiding it if possible). However, this year I decided to stick around in Chicago and celebrate the Winter with my boo for the first time.

It's nice because it gives us a chance to build our own traditions. My family did not have too many holiday traditions, but we did have a few (and there are a couple that my mother is obstinate about her kids maintaining…), whereas his family did not have many holiday traditions at all, so we are really able to start building our traditions together with a minimum amount of outside influence. So this year we set out to create a few of our own.

On Christmas Eve, we went out to Boystown with a friend to grab a drink and see the other Chi-town revelers. It should be noted, however, that Chicago, at least the North Side of the city where I live, is mostly full of transplants. It seems everyone I talk to is not from here. They are from Iowa, Texas, Nebraska… anywhere but near. So while I expected the bars to be full of people avoiding their families while they are in town for the holiday, I was instead reminded that this part of town is more like a college town during the summer than anything else.

Christmas morning came and we made breakfast then opened gifts. I'll eventually post pictures of my gift from Esvan (once he decides to use my gift to him to take a few pics ;), but we had a great time exchanging gifts. After the blur of paper and cardboard boxes was over, we sat around for a bit playing with our new toys and taking in some Christmas-y TV then finally made our way to see Sherlock Holmes (I'll have more thoughts on that movie later).

All-in-all it was a nice, quiet Christmas spent with the man I love. I honestly could not ask for anything much better than that.

Making That Commitment

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:19:00 +0000

Now that our month of non-commitment to the gym is up, we've decided to keep our memberships and accept our year-long contractual obligation.

There are a few reasons for this decision, but for me it came down to seeing results. In just a month, I've lost 4 pounds. Add that to the almost 20 pounds lost earlier this year, and I'm doing pretty good. Now I know I won't continue to lose weight at this speed, but it's nice to know that diet and exorcise really do help you get in shape. Who knew the doctors were right this time?

My trainer has me on a routine that I'm not 100% about. I like it, it works me out, but I don't feel like I'm getting a lot of leg work in. She wants to focus on "core" (trainer speak for and and stomach) for now, which is fine, but I really want to have a balance look once I've lost most of this weight. I don't want to have a defined belly, for instance, while my legs are still just there.

I also really do enjoy working out. I have been getting intimidated from time to time while at the gym because I'll see those guys doing 5,000 lb pinky curls or whatever, but I just remind myself that everyone started somewhere. Just because I'm starting latter than they did doesn't mean i'm not entitled to looking good.

Needs No Explanation

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 13:01:00 +0000

The Case Of The Missing Insurance

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:46:00 +0000

Here's a fun story. A woman who works for the federal government sued for the right to have her wife covered by her employer's health insurance program. Arguing that denying her partner insurance meant that she was not getting equal pay for equal work because the costs of buying private insurance for her gal was astronomically higher than what her heterosexual co-workers paid to have their spouses covered under the company insurance program, a federal judge ORDERED the federal government to cover the plaintiff's wife.

So, you know, a Federal Judge comes along and makes a ruling against the Obama Administration, who of course follows that ruling as is required by law, right? Well, no, not really. Instead, the Administration tells Blue Cross/Blue Shield to not process the claim and then makes this quaint claim that they are not allowed to cover the woman because of DOMA. BUT A FEDERAL JUDGE TOLD YOU THAT YOU CANNOT DENY THIS WOMAN BENEFITS!!

*Ahem* Excuse me a moment, just need to … recover here…

Anyway, John Berry, who is the head of the Office of Personnel Management, or the VP of HR of the Federal Government so-to-speak, was questioned about this decision of the Obama Administration at the Gay and Lesbian Leadership Institute (hosted by the Victory Fund). Oh, did I mention that Berry is also the highest ranking openly 'mo member of the Administration? Yeah, that's a bit relevant. Anyway, here's his adorable response:

She was looking at this, and both her and the Justice Department, and Matt's here from the Justice Department, concluded that basically neither I nor the president have the authority to do this. Which is why Congresswoman Baldwin's legislation is so essential. And why the administration is inaudible on behalf of it it and is helping work with her to get it done. Because it will give me the authority to do it and as soon as we get it, the president will signed it we'll do it.

Now the judge has ordered me to go ahead and do it. And the lawyers are, you know, finding out what what we can do or not and they're going to tell me what I can do. And if the Justice Department says we can pay it, I'd be happy to pay it. If I can't, I can't.

To sum up, he won't because he can't. But he can, because he was ordered to by a GD FEDERAL JUDGE! Which means someone above him is telling him he's not allowed to. Hmmm…. Wonder who would have the authority, or at least perceived authority, to block a federal judge's ruling? I'll give you one guess, and it's that guy that's made lots of promises to the gays and has done his best so far to not live up to as few of them as possible...

I'll Be A Gym Bunny One Day

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:34:00 +0000

A few weeks back, the fiancé and I decided to join a gym. I've been on a kick for a couple months to get back into shape after one fateful day when I stepped on a scale and saw a number I was completely disgusted by. Not sure what happened to get me to that weight, other than general laziness, but I decided at that point I wanted to lose weight, so I started a diet.

15-20 pounds lighter, I decided that I wanted to lose more. Or at least get healthier in general. I had been flirting with the idea of getting a gym membership for some time but wasn't completely dedicated to the idea. Part of the reason for that is I hadn't been in a gym since… well, lets just say I haven't been in a gym for awhile. When I first moved to Chicago, I would go rollerblading on the Lakeshore Path almost daily that first spring and summer, but that was the extent of my exercising for the last many years of my life.

After losing the initial weight through dieting, I knew I'd have to do something more to lose the rest of the weight I wanted to lose. So I brought up the idea of the gym membership again and the boo was on board with it this time. We hiked our way over to Cheetah Gym in Edgewater and snagged a membership (after a trial and some haggling on the price, of course). We also decided to hire a personal trainer for the time being as well, which was mostly due to my insistence. Like I said, I'm very gym-ignorant, which meant that not only would I not know what to do with all those machines, I wouldn't know how to use them, and all that adds up to me being very, VERY intimidated. So a trainer was the best idea I could come up with.

Luckily the gym had a great deal designed for people just like me: an initial consultation and three sessions with your trainer for a reasonable price. Sure, sessions after that might be a bit pricy, but I needed someone to show my how to work out first, as silly as that sounds. After that, I can cut back my training sessions to once every few weeks or a month. I was assigned a real lame trainer at first, but switched to the trainer Esvan was assigned after his first session and have been happy since.

However, we're down to the last week of our first month with the gym and faced with some decisions. We have 30 days from the day we signed our contracts with the gym to decide if we want to keep the gym or drop it. If we say we'll stay, then we're committed for a year, and if we say we don't want to join, we only pay for the time we used and that's that. I'm very inclined to stay. BUT I'm also very money conscious. I'm thinking this is probably something I should spend money on though, as I want to get healthy and be in shape, both for purely cosmetic and selfish reasons, and so that I can live a long and full life with my man. I don't want him to have to take care of me when we're older because I didn't take care of myself while we are young. So I have to decide what to do. It's just a gym membership though, am I making too much out of this?

Thems Scary Powders From The Sky!

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:04:00 +0000

Mark your calendars! It's December 7 and we're just getting our first snow fall of the year here in Chicago, and I couldn't be happier. Don’t twist those words, I'm not at all excited about the existence of the frosty flakes from hell on the ground, but I am excited that it took this long to happen.

The first year I lived in Chicago it snowed on October 1. That's still Fall, mind you, and the middle of it at that. Actual snow fell from the sky and stuck to the ground for hours! That day I called my mother and vowed to move out of this god-forsaken town with its snow before Halloween malarkey. But I stuck around anyway, despite my hatred of the cold and snow more specifically. And what was I rewarded with? The following winter, it did not get about 40 degrees outside for 6 months straight. Gee, thanks Chicago!

This year is already shaping up better though. We've seen light flurries once, but it was just a short stint and did not even consider sticking. So here we are, December 7 and for the first time this season I've had to toss on the long johns and wrap a sweater on under the coat and I'm at least at peace with it… even if I despise the notion of snow and cold…

Now then, I could be preaching a whole different story come Wednesday when the Winter Storm From Hades comes rolling in. If it hits like predicted, with layers of wintry mix and inches upon inches of flaky white death, then I be singing a whole different song. Probably a war march or some twisted requiem...

Tiger Woods Is Not A Story

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:44:00 +0000

With all the hoopla surrounding Tiger Woods and his car crash lately is quite a bit excessive. For those that are blessed enough to not be familiar with the story, it's pretty basic: Superstar golf player had a car accident.

That's it. That's all there is to the story. Yet the news media is spending 13 of their 24 hours in the day the past few days to talk about Tiger's accident as if there is something sinister going on. It's pretty much sickening.

Why should they spend so much time talking about a random car accident? They say because he's a billion dollar industry in and of himself and that makes it newsworthy. Ok, I'll give you that. That he had an accident is newsworthy. But why then have we spent the past 4 days listening to endless dissection of the wreck? Well, according to the media outlets, it's becasr Tiger refuses to talk about it and e so doing makes it seem like there's something terrible and demonic going on that he's hiding.

Maybe, just maybe, Tiger is embarrassed by his wreck. Maybe he's hurt and doesn't want to be seen in public while injured (which would hurt that precious industry the media is so obsessed with). Maybe he's just an individual that prefers to keep business and public image just that, while leaving private affairs to himself. None of that, however, is newsworthy in the least.

I could care less why the accident occured. Is it weird that he doesn't want to talk to police about it? I have no clue, to be honest and I don't care. He doesn't have to talk to police about it. By law he can say he doesn't want to, which is what he has done.

Is it such a slow news cycle that our news organizations need to spend hours upon hours analyzing the actions of a man that fall completely within the borders of legality? Or are they just so obsessed with this story because they think they've found something about this black man that can give them an excuse to crucify him? Maybe's South Park's "Mr. Jefferson" episode was more accurate than we want to believe.

Lady Gaga's Speechless Minus Autotune

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 16:43:00 +0000

The girl is crazy for sure, but that might be what I love about her. Y'all know I'm not much of a pop fan. Just look at the music I feature, it's almost all rock or folk (except Janet... she's just amazing). But lately I've grown to really like Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert.

This clip is from her performance on Ellen this last week. I just love it. This song on the album is pretty good, but I like it much more without the auto-tune. She's got a really great voice that I hope they actually feature on her next album.

Janet's New Video: MJ Lite

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:48:00 +0000

And here's her new video, complete with some many Michael throwbacks and references I almost feel like I'm listening him. Don't get me twisted, I'm really liking this video, BUT there are some blatant MJ references here.

I think it's fun and a lot more engaging than her last couple of songs. Hopefully this one will get her back in the headlines.

Dear Catholic Church

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 14:08:00 +0000

Dear Catholic Church,

I have one question for you, real quick like.

Really?

I mean, you really want to pull out of D.C. and stop providing social services to that area if our nation's capital decides to OK marriage equality? That's cool and all, but yeah... Not really.

That could be the single most unholy thing I've heard from the Catholics in a very long time. Sure, they've done some terrible things, but lately allnive heard from them is rhetoric. Everyone is allowed to speak their opinions, no problem there. But they now want to say that they will stop doing what they are commande to do by the book they wrote, err, excuse me, follow jus because there is a law enacted they disagree with?

What ever happened to live by the laws of the land here, live by the laws of heaven there? Give unto Ceasar and all that? Oh, you want to forget about that so you can try and exert some sort of political pressure? That's cool.

Just want you to know that pulling out of D.C. will really only hurt you. It's not like there's a lack of organizations wanting federal funding to provide those same services. And guess what? Most of them won't preach to the people they help! Shit, there are other Christian-based organizations that would kill to run those programs, so honestly it doesn't matter if you leave.

Please enjoy your ride out of town and make sure to do the tour of the White House before you go, OK?

Smooches!

-Dickie

Another Silly Cincinnatism

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:54:00 +0000

I get down on Cincinnati a lot. Like, a lot a lot. It's one of those places that I lived that I didn't realize I was so unhappy with until I left. As I've said before, I miss my friends and family, but I don't regret moving here to Chicago one little bit. And here's another reason why.

A pro-Atheism billboard is put up by an organization using that organization's own funds, and then subsequently taken down because some nutjobs go all ape shit about it and threaten the owner of the building the billboard was on with violence. They did not threaten the Organization that paid for the billboard, mind you, just the owner of the building that the billboard was on.

I didn't realize Atheism was such a threat to the conservative peoples of Cincinnati that certain members of the city would threaten violence because of it. Much less several viable threats. I clearly remember going to a New Age Spirituality conference in downtown one year, and even shopping at several New Age stores around town, none of which seemed to have issues. There weren't even protestors at the conference. Yet Atheism, which stresses the lack of a god rather than a wholly different godly structure, is a bigger threat to Cincinnatians than new age theology?

I truly feel sorry for Cincinnati anymore. Mark Twain was right about that town, it simply perpetually lives years behind the rest of the country. Why would Christians, Muslims, Scientologists, Whatevers be threatened by a billboard, so much so that they'd go out of their way to come up with conceivable threats? I just don't get that city anymore, and likely never will.

I had entertained the idea of moving back there later in life, but I don't think it'll ever be a town that I could be happy living in again. It's not just this billboard thing either, it's the non-stop Conservative mentality of the area. There's nothing progressive here, and every day they fight just a little bit harder to be actively regressive.

Chicago Has Domestic Partnerships?

imjustgaying@gmail.com (Dickie) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 23:11:00 +0000

It's interesting what I learn when I start poking around. For example, Cook County, IL (i.e. Chicago) offers a Domestic Partnership registry! What's more, they've had it for 5 years now.

Who knew?

I for one didn't. So I poked around some more because in my eyes, that should be a well publicized benefit for queer folk city. Turns out there's a pretty big reason it's not that big of a deal: there are no, count them NOT A ONE, legal benefits to do so. Literally, it's a piece of paper that says "Congrats, y'all live together." (here's the legalese, for those so inclined)

I don't know what's more insulting: that a progressive state like ours is just now considering marriage equality, or that we were tossed this non-bone a few years back in an obvious attempt to appease "the gays."

It's quaint, really. I could go register so that it might be easier to file for joint insurance, or it might get a hospital administrator to let me go see my man if he's bed ridden, or that it might simplify our moving processes and daily lives. But it won't, really. It'll be just another piece of paper in a frame, with just as much authority as a degree from Phoenix University Online... Less, really. And that's just plain sad.