Jen's Reality Obsession!

New Website

2011-12-07T17:31:00.002-05:00

Hi Friends -

My blog has moved to http://jensreality.com - Make sure to visit!

Jen

46NYC Lemonade Stand

2011-09-25T17:35:00.042-04:00

Today was the 46NYC Lemonade Stand in Central Park, which benefitted Pediatric Cancer. Started by Graham, Hal and John, 46NYC is an apparel company that makes a line of clothing to raise money and awareness for causes that impact the global community. Kudos to these guys!

The Lemonade Stand was an awesome event and had a fantastic turnout. Below are some pictures and highlights from the day.

If you're interested in donating or purchasing a 46NYC shirt, visit http://www.46nyc.com/. It's a great cause.

As you can see, Michael Stag's personality was shining through, all day. He's one of the nicest and most enthusiastic people I've ever met. He made everyone feel like they were special when he met them. He's a winner in my book.

William was awesome. He was so genuine and watching him with some of the little kids was too cute. He really got into the spirit of the day. Big, big fan of William!

Michael Stag is all about the hugs. In this picture, he wanted Kelly to hug him like she meant it. He even made her put down her lemonade for this one.

JP and Ashley were even cuter in person than they were on TV, if you can imagine that. They were so down to earth and great to talk to. From talk of the Giants to fashion, we loved spending some time with them. I really hope they last because they deserve it!

I've been a huge fan of Graham Bunn since his season of The Bachelorette and it was so great to finally meet him in person. Graham was SO sweet and so grateful for everyone supporting the event.

Ames was just as awesome in person as he was on the show. But much less robotic and much more personality!

Could they be any cuter?

Although Erica was a woman of few words in person, I'll still give her my vote for president.

As expected, Michelle Money is gorgeous. And her hair is just as fabulous.

Craig R. was making little girls dreams come true, signing autographs left and right.

Craig R. is awesome. I wish he was my friend is real life. As Deena from Jersey Shore would say, he's a "blast in a glass." He may or may not have smelled like alcohol from brunch also. I'm not judging. I was jealous.

Mom and Brigitte

Me & Kelly

As always, so good to see Ashley Spivey! She's my absolute favorite girl from the Bachelor and such a sweetheart. I think we've moved from Twitter friends to real friends.

Here is Cindi Rose, the fabulous mother of Erica Rose. If you think Erica is great, wait until you meet her mom. Mrs. Rose told us all about the "Real Erica," the one we don't get to see on TV. Did you know that she was president of the French Club in High School? Did you know that she went to Emory? Mrs. Rose was hysterical and she loved my mom.

She also told us all about her silhouette business. Check it out here: http://www.silhouettesbycindi.com/artsbio.html.

Mrs. Rose then suggested a Mother Daughter picture. And how could we resist?!

If you'd like to order 8x10 copies, send me an email.

Emily Maynard, as expected, was a doll. That's the best way to describe her. She's super tiny and super sweet. And as always, she had awesome boots on.

We all loved talking to Jackie. I've always loved her and thought she was beautiful, but she was even more beautiful and charming in person. We had a great conversation with her about her experience on The Bachelor and Bachelor Pad. Huge, huge fan of hers!

Everyone remember Jeremy from Deanna's season? Great guy! Jeremy's been flying a little under the radar since his appearance on The Bachelorette, but it was so nice to meet him. My mom even told him that his raspy voice was sexy...

All in all, such a great day at the event! It was so much fun to meet everyone and raise money for pediatric cancer.

Thanks to 46NYC for a great day!

Bachelor Pad Finale

2011-09-16T09:59:00.002-04:00

I know, it's Friday. And my blog is SO late. I was traveling this week and couldn't even watch the finale until Wednesday! Madness. And so unlike me. I'll keep this short and simple because I think at this point, everyone has forgotten about the show already.

Final Challenge

I disliked the final challenge in Las Vegas. I have to admit - I'm not a fan of these Vegas Show/Broadway competitions that the franchise has been adding into the seasons lately. Whether it be the Lion King or Jabbawockeez, it's just not my cup of tea. Especially being the Bachelor Pad, I'd prefer something ridiculous, raunchy and inappropriate instead.

The only memorable moments during this hour were the Kasey-isms involved. Did anyone else notice the ridiculously lame quotes that he came up with? This guy should write for Hallmark.

Reunion

The reunion was more entertaining than the first hour of competition. Some highlights below:

- I really like Ella but I think she looked prettier without the "Heidi Montag" surgeries. Her lips are enormous... Wonder how the kissing contest would go now...

- I felt really bad for Jackie and Ames. It seems like there is more to the story on his end, but I doubt we'll hear more on that for a while.

- Erica and Melissa looked great. For all of the ripping apart I did on their behalves this season, I'll give them credit now... They cleaned up well!

- Vienna should sue Erica Rose's father because she's still painful to look at.

- Team Jake 100%, even though he's a weiner. It was nice to see Kasey apologize to him though. I do think that Kasey is a genuinely nice guy... I just wish he'd ditch Vienna.

The Proposal

As much as I think that Blake and Holly are somewhat cute, their proposal seemed completely ingeniune. Maybe it was the cameras? Or the ring from Neil Lane? Or the fact that they aired it on national television? It just rubbed me the wrong way.

The fact that Holly and Blake "couldn't" tell Michael beforehand about the proposal is just ludacris. This is where I think they completely failed and my heart broke. There's a fine line between what's reality and television. They definitely should have handled the situation differently.

The Results

I'm very happy that Michael won the money, but I couldn't feel the same way for Holly after the proposal sequence. I'm somewhat surprised that they won and convinced that if Holly wasn't Michael's partner, things would have gone much differently.

Bachelor Ben

As we all knew, Ben F. is the next Bachelor. I think he'll be a good Bachelor, just hoping he doesn't get a little boring. If they cast a solid group of females, the season could be golden... He's a great catch! If the girls are completely normal, we're in for a potential snooze-fest.

Hope you all enjoyed my blog this season! Stay tuned for Bachelor updates throughout the fall!

Erica Rose for President!

2011-09-05T22:31:00.004-04:00

Everyone heads inside after the Rose Ceremony and recovers from Hurricane Melissa. Like Hurricane Irene, the bitch did tons of damage and left people stranded and confused. Although Blake’s teammate is gone, he’s pumped because he’s been trying to get with Holly since Day 1. They have great chemistry… Too bad for Michael Stag.

Chris Harrison comes in and announces that everyone needs to partner up. Erica and Blake realize that they’re each others only options and they’re ready to get to know each other. Erica thinks this will happen blindfolded with a few roofies, but Blake is thinking about playing 20 Questions. Little does Blake know, this is the best thing to ever happen to him – a BIG step up from Holly.

Everyone sits around and plays “Let’s get to know each other.” It’s the standard game I’ve played with any new boyfriends in my life… Icebreaker time! Kasey and Vienna don’t bother getting to know each other before the challenge because they’re good at everything. Just like Vienna was good at the bed challenge and the synchronized swimming contest. And then she lost both. Blake and Erica talk about flying squirrels and Blake says that both of his stepmom’s are named Karen? Did I hear correctly? His family seems almost as dysfunctional as mine does! Yeah!

Time for the challenge! Chris Harrison announces that the winning couples will get a very romantic 1-on-1 date. Kasey can smell it. What is this face? (Cringing)

This challenge is interesting. Most disturbing parts:

· Vienna needs to go on 22 dates before she has sex? Right. And I’m not obsessed with reality television.

· Kasey would be a rabbit in bed? TMI. I’m gagging.

· Vienna thinks that he ex’s miss her boobs the most? You should be proud.

· Holly wants to sleep with Blake and Michael wants to punch Blake in his perfect teeth.

· No one likes Blake.

· Thank god that Graham was lying about these 7’s because he’s definitely had more than 7 partners. AND if he lost his virginity at 7, I’d call the po-lice.

Graham and Michelle win the “NearlyWed” game. Blake and Erica also get a date for coming in second place. At least Blake will get some ass before he’s sent packing!

The token Bachelor helicopter comes to pick up Graham and Michelle to whisk them away to Hot People Island, where we all wish we were granted admission. Kasey is super jealous and wishes he could go in the helicopter with Vienna, only to push her out the back door.

Back at the house, Vienna and Kasey air out their sex life in public…. One of those things I’d file as “Don’t bring up in the Bachelor Pad House on National TV,” but that’s just me. We were probably raised differently. Basically, Kasey has sexual frustration and Vienna isn’t willing to help him air it out. She’s worn out from sleeping with Wes Hayden and David Good before the show started. I bet both of them are hiding out tonight. Talk about embarrassing!

Back on Hot People Island, Michelle and Graham are screening some chick-flick in a hot tub. I’m ridiculously jealous. I’m jealous of her. I’m jealous of him. And I’m jealous of the hot tub.

Back at the mansion, Blake and Erica’s date card arrives. Their mission is romance. Anyone else not going to be surprised when Erica whips out a pair of handcuffs, roofies Blake and calls it a night? Her mission is to end up in the missionary position with Blake. God, I love her. What would this show be without Erica Rose? Sad and dramatic.

Tiaras on! Erica and Blake head to the Mission Inn spend the night chatting. Erica’s astrologer thinks she’ll be in the final two. Erica’s astrologer is also unemployed and homeless now. She then gives Blake’s thigh a vicious rash from rubbing it so harshly and focuses on his man jewels rather than learning about the history Mission Inn has to offer.

Erica really needs Blake in the mood, so she crushes up a few Xanex and sprinkles them in his champagne, just like pixy dust. Then she convinces Blake that because of her sexy lingerie, he needs to sleep with her and not go back to the mansion. Hopefully girls across America are currently taking notes on “Things Not To Do To A Man.” Although, I’m kind of wishing that Blake would sleep with her so that she’d shut up. (I planned to write that differently, but censored myself.)

The next morning, Erica and Blake ponder who to give the two extra roses to. Wait a minute – Did they have sex or not? They seem stressed. I’m guessing no. They finally decide to give the roses to Kasey and Vienna, because they’re apparently worthy. Blake and Erica’s deal is sealed.

Kasey and Vienna talk about what they’d do with the 250K if they won and he tells Vienna that no one needs to know his personal stuff. Right… Did that apply an hour ago when you were crying and bitching around the house about your non-existant sex life? Different?

Holly debates voting out Blake, but in the end, decides to spare Michael one less jab to the heart and lets Blake and Erica go. I’m REALLY going to miss Erica’s humor. No one will ever be as funny. The show will clearly lack humor.

So, we’re down to 4 couples – Who is your favorite for the win? Will you miss Erica so much also? Leave some comments!

One Way Ticket to Crazy Town!

2011-08-30T09:24:00.002-04:00

Jake goes home. Is anyone surprised? That was the lamest cliffhanger I’ve ever witnessed. Although Jake promised us last week that he wasn’t leaving without taking other people down with him, he gives us a short speech which sounded like a haiku, and leaves. Some people thought Hurricane Irene was over-hyped, I think Jake’s exit was double over-hyped.

Kasey is pumped up because “the devil is gone.” I’m a bit confused because Vienna still seems to be there… Who knows. She immediately makes the night all about her, because what isn’t, and thanks the crew for getting rid of Jake.

The next morning, everyone wakes up and hopefully gives their teeth a serious brushing, following by the Listerine 60 Second Challenge (I’m sure Blake did), because it’s time for THE KISSING CONTEST! There is nothing more disgusting than kissing six people in a row, swapping spit left and right, sharing each others cooties. Ew. Apparently, the contestants from Bachelor Pad 1 enjoyed this competition the most. Does that surprise anyone? Remember the class of those individuals?

No one wants to compete in this challenge… Except Blake, obviously. Hopefully Melissa didn’t eat any of her famous onion pizza for breakfast because that’s sure to be an immediate disqualification. The girls are blindfolded first. The end game is that Blake rapes all of their mouths, except Vienna's because he feels Kasey guarding and protecting her lips from 5 feet away. All of the other guys respect Michael Stag’s love for his ex-fiance, but Blake goes right in for the kill.

Next up, the guys are blindfolded and Ella is winning this one for her son… Sounds creepy, but you get the jist. Apparently Kasey was too concerned about protecting Vienna and forgot to do the Listerine 60 Second Challenge that morning and had funkytown breathe. The thought of this is making me uncomfortable. (Sidenote: Biggest turn-off EVER) Holly and Michael make out, for the first time since their break-up, and then 30 seconds later, Holly shares Michael’s spit with Blake. For about 5 minutes. We all watch Stag’s heart break.

Time to tally up the votes. I bet this doesn’t come as a shocker! Ella and Blake win with an overwhelming majority… No suspense there.

Ella invites Kirk on her date… Again, no suspense. Kirk’s pumped up because he’s going out on a date with the best kisser in the house and Mama’s drivin! Kirk and Ella’s date is super-cute. They both seem like such stand-up individuals, class acts. Remind me what they’re doing on The Bachelor Pad. Ella and Kirk would have never believed that the Bachelor Pad would be this romantic. Me neither guys.

Back at the house, Melissa is telling Blake that they can win this thing together and is super pumped! Meanwhile, Blake knows that he isn’t inviting Melissa on his date. Awkward! He tells her that he isn’t sure yet. She thinks he isn’t sure about who they’re going to vote off, but really it’s about who he’s taking on the date. I feel serious second-hand embarrassment for Melissa. Someone needs to give this girl a clue. And fast!

On another note, my new favorite contestant impresses me once again – Erica. She decides to distress Blake by giving him a massage by the pool, breasts hanging out and all. Genius tactics Erica.

The date card arrives and Erica hopes to finish what she started during the massage. I’m not even going to go there. Then my favorite moment – When Melissa yells “We could be skiing!” No, no, Melissa. You will be doing anything of the sort – because he’s takin’ Holly!

Melissa goes bat-shit crazy and tears the house up. Michelle comes out with another favorite line, telling us that Melissa wears her heart on any article of clothing… Including her hairtie and her panties. Don’t visualize Melissa’s panties… Just don’t do it.

Melissa ferociously stirs up a yogurt like WHOA… Looks like she’s trying to whip it into something. At least she’s finally eating something? Blake on the other hand is completely calm. He’s actually doing his full teeth routine and asks Melissa to hold off while he finishes the last 40 seconds. I really wish there had been a timer (one of the ones with sand in it) to ice the cake. The best part of this is that Melissa actually waited! I would’ve ripped that toothbrush out of his mouth. She’s pathetic.

Blake and Holly go on their date and he’s thrilled that Melissa isn’t there with him. Holly proves to be a pretty terrible skier… Obviously Jesse Csincsak didn’t teach her much of anything during their relationship. Regardless, Blake is smitten. He’s never felt this way about anyone else. Really? It’s a crush. I started having those in pre-school.

Blake and Holly decide to spend the night on their date because neither want to head back to the mansion. This is where I think Holly crossed the line. I like Holly. And I understand that sometimes relationships just don’t work out. But don’t rub it in Michael’s face! Luckily, Kirk is throwing shots of whiskey down Michael’s throat. Good friend!

When Blake and Holly get back to the house, Michael literally runs in from outside. Someone needs to give him a pep-talk and tell him to move on and stop being so anxious. Michael can’t move on because he thinks that Holly is irreplaceable. Cute, but news flash: She is very replaceable. I think 1 million girls in America are dying to replace her right about now. Holly tells Michael that she and Blake kissed once. Right. And pigs fly.

At the cocktail party, Michael sets up a pseudo-date for Holly outside to win her over. It’s awfully sad. I hope this ends soon… I feel like I’m watching a Soap Opera.

Melissa is absolutely going bonkers because she thinks that she’s being voted out. Graham thinks that Melissa is draining the life out of him. In reality, she’s draining the life out of America. I feel so uncomfortable watching Melissa beg to stay. She has officially boarded the train to Crazy Town.

Melissa and William get the heave-ho. As much as I’m a William fan, no one is going to notice he’s gone. He had about 1 minute of cumulative screen time all season. I’m not quite sure why he’s crying in the limo though.

Melissa breaks down in the limo and shows us her cry face – not exactly a pleasant one. After a few minutes, she turns around and spares us from watching any longer. The house will definitely be different without her.

What’d you think of this week? Do you kind of love Erica now? Did you like Vienna more this week or was that only because she didn’t speak? Leave some comments!

Guard and Protect My Ass

2011-08-23T08:38:00.002-04:00

Another week of Bachelor Pad and another week of ridiculousness. Did you know that Kasey is guarding and protecting Vienna’s heart? I’m not sure if that was stressed nearly enough in the episode. On to the drama…

The episode kicks off with a few words of wisdom from Kirk, who at this point appears to be one of the only “normal” people in the mansion. If Chris Harrison wasn’t such a staple, I think Kirk could actually pose a threat to him for his job. Kirk’s narration skills were top notch last night.

To continue their annoying bullshit from last week, Blake and Melissa continue to hash it out after the rose ceremony. Melissa wants Blake to apologize and be a man because she was upstairs crying for an hour. An hour? Melissa looks like she’s been on a month-long post-breakup binge, void of food, shampoo and sunlight. Either way, she has secured her one-way ticket to the Looney Bin.

All of the girls are “rallying” around Melissa, even Holly who openly admits to flirting with all of the boys in the mansion. Blake concludes that Melissa is a live wire on the ground waiting to snap. Newsflash Blake: You made out with the wrong girl.

Challenge Time

It’s time for the next challenge and the crew shows up with their game faces on. Unfortunately for Holly, someone ate the bottom of her shirt before the challenge. Vienna showed up ready for blood. She was on the swim team and knows she’ll be good at this challenge! Just like the bed challenge… Of course, you’re good at everything V!

While watching the practice rounds, I’d be surprised if Michael Stag doesn’t win for the guys – he’s a break dancer and has a glowing personality. Even though Jake has such phenomenal dance experience from his run on Dancing With The Stars. For the girls, it’s a toss-up, with the exception of Erica. Like she said, the closest thing that she’s done to synchronized swimming is tanning. Gosh, she’s so well rounded!

Everyone gets their swimmies and Speedos on and we’re introduced to our judges – some gold medalist, David Good and Natalie Getz. I wish David and Natalie could have stayed and kicked some of these other house guests out.

Also, how cool would it be if the girls routine involved drowning Vienna and Melissa?! Just kidding… Kind of. Unfortunately, it did not. And as Natalie said, it was god awful.

The guys are up and their routine is much more entertaining than the girls’. William and Graham should be automatically eliminated for wearing the heinous nose plugs. My favorite part of the synchronized swimming was noting all of the bright white thighs that the guys were sporting. Classic. Erica chimes in with her classy opinion – Jake should win because he has such a big package. Again, Erica securing her pig status in my book.

Michael and Michelle win the challenge and I hope this is a sign of things to come. They’re definitely two of my favorites. Since Jake lost, he makes it very clear that he’s willing to do anything to stay in the mansion. Even if that means making out with Erica!

Then again, we see a ridiculous fight between the Super Couple, Vienna and Kasey. Basically she’s being nice to the enemy and Kasey is not down with this because he spends all of his time guarding and protecting her. Doesn’t she see his tattoo and everything he stands for? GUARDING AND PROTECTING! I feel much dumber after watching this fight. Kasey asks Vienna if she wants another public break up on TV. I’ll tell you something Kasey, I’d sure love to watch that! He even calls her a fame whore… Well played sir. I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that calling your girlfriend a fame whore would not be guarding and protecting her heart? Not sure though.

Dates

Meanwhile, back to the rest of the house that is getting robbed of quality airtime… Michelle takes Graham, Kasey and Blake on a date to a gorgeous vineyard to drink wine. Finally, a date that I’m incredibly jealous of! Michelle admits that she has a huge crush on Graham, but she doesn’t feel like he’s that into her. She should probably call Deanna to chat… Seems like a reoccurring problem for Graham and his ladies. Michelle thinks that if she and Graham find common ground, it’ll be amazing. Then they find that common ground, in each others tonsils.

Anyone notice a little bit of Michelle’s crazy eyes come out around Graham? Maybe she’ll give herself a black eye next.

Graham obviously gets the rose.

Back at the mansion, Holly is hoping that Michael doesn’t invite her on the date. Sure enough, he does. Michael and his ladies arrive in the Hollywood Hills and are surprised with a horseback riding date! Vienna will obviously be good at this too because… Well, use your imagination.

After the horses, Vienna and Ella bond over some sangria, while Michael and Holly continue to beat a dead horse (no pun intended). And again, watching Michael cry is brutal. Michael sends the other two girls home and then Brett Michaels shows up to serenade him and Holly. Blah blah, the end.

Back at the mansion, Jake and Blake are trying to save their asses by making out with girls that they wouldn’t touch with 10 foot poles in real life. Erica and Jake lay together by the pool and she rubs him. He pretends to like her. They make out, because Erica has great lips that she maintains every 6 months. I vomit all over my computer.

Super Couple is back to drive us a little more crazy and this time, Kasey brought a ring with him! Kasey gives a long speech about loving Vienna or something, but truthfully, I can’t understand a thing he says. Vienna cuts him off and says that she doesn’t want the ring to be an engagement ring. I can’t handle her. If Kasey had half of a brain, he’d shove that ring somewhere where the sun doesn’t shine and run for the hills. With that, Kasey secures his spot on next season’s American Idol. SIKE.

Potentially my favorite moment of the season happens next – When Erica crawled behind Melissa to eavesdrop on her conversation. She just gained serious points in my book. What a freak!

Rose Ceremony/Cocktail Party

Kasey mentions that he thinks Melissa is bat shiz f’ing crazy and she’s shaking. He doesn’t realize that it’s only malnourishment. She looks like she’s been punched in the face. Melissa doesn’t understand why her and Blake have been partners since Day 1 and now he doesn’t want anything to do with her romantically. He never did.

Melissa almost leaves but Jake convinces her to stay.

The only other interesting thing about the evening was Erica’s gavel. At first, I swore it was an ice cream scooper. Then I thought it was a fairy wand. She’s a whack job.

Jake mentions that if he gets voted off, he’s taking people out with him. I’m SO happy he got sent home! This is bound to be good drama.

The Mask comes back for a quick skinnydip and we’re left wondering who Jake is taking down with him. I don’t even know how I’ll last a full week!

It's Like Picasso Went to Town on Her Back! - Bachelor Pad, Week 2

2011-08-16T09:22:00.004-04:00

Another week of Bachelor Pad and another evening of pure hilarity. The show opens up with the cast recovering from their first dramatic rose ceremony, all thankful that they have another few days in the mansion. Unfortunately, we’re forced to look at Erica Rose again, who is still wearing the hideous sparkle dress that she mistakenly wore to last week’s rose ceremony. I’m now also noticing that she hasn’t washed her hair since Prince Borghese’s season of the Bachelor.

The crew gets ready for their second degrading challenge and I cannot wait! There are guaranteed to be many tears and broken egos. The girls are up first and they throw paint filled eggs as hard as my 4 year old niece would. I’m sorry, but if $250K is on the line, I’m winding up and nailing these targets. The most bizarre choice in this round was Jackie claiming that Graham was least deserving of the money. That almost makes sense… Graham, who is the founder of a children’s charity and wants to save children in other countries…Totally undeserving!

The challenge comes down to Melissa and Jackie and they need to decide who is dumbest in the house. Unfortunately, Melissa is unable to throw the egg at herself, which would have been the logical target. She wins this challenge and I gag because that means we’ll be seeing way too much of her in the rest of the episode.

The guys are up and the moral of this story is that Erica fails. The guys think she’s most likely to cheat, want her to go home, and are least attracted to her. Pack your bags now and cut your losses, Erica. Well said by William, “It’s like Picasso went to town on her back.” Genius. Erica is devastated and has a huge reality check. I do not feel bad at all for her. 1. Stop going on Reality Television 2. Did you not see last season’s Bachelor Pad? Then, to make matters worse, Erica calls out Ella and says that she’s bigger than her and not that pretty. Too bad there wasn’t a “classiest girl in the house” category, because I’m sure you would’ve won that one also, Erica.

Michael Stag wins for the guys. When Chris Harrison announces that Michael and Melissa get separate dates, I’m pretty sure that Michael shit himself with relief.

When it comes time to pick his ladies, Michael proves that he’s a class act with his choices. He’s picking:

Erica - Because he realizes she is completely pathetic and a total slob. Might as well get on her good side!
Michelle – Because she’s hot.
Holly – Because he’s in love with her.

Rather than do something romantic and exciting, Michael gets to take his dates to an insane asylum. I’m pretty sure that half of this cast was admitted to this asylum within the past few years…

This could be one of the most un-fun dates in all of Bachelor Pad history. First, Michael spends some quality time with Erica and they talk to the dead. How many valiums does Erica have to take to sound as monotone and boring as she does? 3? 4? If you ever want to torture someone, play Erica and Kasey’s voices on repeat.

Meanwhile, Michelle and Holly bond and Michelle is convinced that there is still something between Michael and Holly. Holly is daydreaming about making babies with Blake.

Michael and Holly have their big moment outside. For a moment here, I’m convinced that my TV switched to watching “Days of Our Lives” because the last time I checked, Bachelor Pad should not be so emotional. Michael reiterates that he waited a FULL YEAR to propose. The last time I checked, a year is not a long time to wait, unless you’re playing by Kardashian rules. He’s also really proud of them for everything they’ve been through… Proud of them for coming on a Reality TV show to air out all of their dirty laundry in front of millions? I’m not sure I would have used the word proud.

After this conversation, I still have no idea what happened between Holly and Michael. All I know is that they each dumped each other, he’s not sure why, and she considers them in the friend zone. And Michael is a sad puppy.

Back at the house, Kirk is confused by the freakshow going on around him. Me too Kirk, me too. Melissa’s date card comes and all of the guys are crossing their fingers that she doesn’t pick them. Except Jake… Jake is depressed and wants out of the mansion! He’s desperate. Someone give this guy a lifeline!

Melissa chooses Kirk, Kasey and Blake. Do you think she has a type? Blake knows that Melissa wants his junk, but he wants nothing to do with her. BUT, for a rose, he’s willing to put out the goodies.

On the yacht, Blake is working it. He definitely knows how to take advantage of a girl with no self esteem. Melissa promised Kasey the rose, but if Blake continues to rub Melissa’s inner thigh, Kasey can kiss that rose goodbye. Remember on Brad’s season when Melissa had onion pizza breathe because she ate 4 slices of onion pizza before the cocktail party? She should probably re-visit that pizza because homegirl is wilting away. Between her collarbones protruding and her serious need for shampoo, I’m having a really difficult time watching her and Blake suck face.

Blake puts out and gets the rose. Kasey and Kirk ride away on their romantic love boat for two and Blake contemplates jumping in with them. It’s definitely a better option that continuing to make out with Melissa all night! But, he’s drunk, so he’ll slut it up.

Cut to the mansion and welcome back to the Jake and Vienna Show! Jake tries to talk to Vienna in private but she’s not comfortable speaking to him without Kasey around. Is she delusional? What does she think is going to happen? Are the five cameramen not enough security for you? Grow up, V.

Holly and Blake are recovering from their dates and snuggling. Holly teases Blake and calls Melissa his girlfriend, while Blake throws up a little in his mouth. He compares Melissa to a typhoon capsizing him… Woof! Blake isn’t surprised that Melissa is single at 32… Neither are we Blake.

Everyone is getting ready for the rose ceremony. Ella is helping Erica with her fake eyelashes… Little does she know that Erica called her fat and ugly. Vienna and Kasey are solidifying their places as “Biggest Bullies in the House,” by picking on Jake and telling the entire world that he’s in debt and wouldn’t do anything positive with the $250K. Ella and Kirk just sit and watch in awe, but keep their mouths shut.

Then we’re forced to watch Kasey make his tattoo heart beat for us. Disgusting. Kasey’s douche level just skyrocketed to 1000.

Vienna and Kasey are convinced that Jake is going home, until…. Chris Harrison saves the day! Chris announces that 2 females will be leaving the mansion. Vienna is BUGGING OUT and protesting that it’s cheating. No, it is not cheating. ANYTHING Chris Harrison says, goes. My Dad texted me during this scene and said “Can he do that?” and I responded with, “Yes, Chris is god. He can do anything.” Enough said.

Graham, Kasey and Gia get into a fight, but I’m completely uninterested at this point. All I know is that Kasey screwed over Graham and Graham screwed over Gia. And Gia is done, again, with Bachelor Pad. She doesn’t think she is made for this game. Third time’s a charm! Michelle is pumped up to officially be “Best Looking” in the house.

It’s time to vote. Erica thinks that Ella is a good competitor, needs the money and would do anything to win. So, she votes for her. Ugh, such a pig. Blake and Holly continue to flirt, while Melissa sits alone in the corner seething. Melissa knew that she shouldn’t develop romantic feelings for a guy but one night of making out and she’s cooked.

It’s down to Ella and Jackie, and Jackie leaves. But not before Ames runs after her in his red pants to create the perfect fairytale ending! If he wasn’t wearing the red pants, this scene wouldn’t have been anywhere near as cool. And if only we didn’t know that they have already broken up…

Ames and Jackie are in love. No. It’s been a week. That is not love.

Bachelor Pad 2!

2011-08-09T16:32:00.003-04:00

It’s finally here. The show we’ve been waiting for… The return of BACHELOR PAD. I have to give ABC some credit because the show’s previews are great. They really got my excitement level up. Before all of the housemates show up, we’re given a quick recap which will help us remember how incredible (and trashy) they all are.

We start the montage off with Justin, AKA Rated R, the infamous wrestler who went on The Bachelorette with a girlfriend back home. Maybe she’ll make another appearance on BP2?

Next up, Jackie! Jackie is really desperate, I mean anxious, to find love.

Moving along to the hotties of the house…

Although Michelle’s shoes during her package were something that Peg Bundy would have worn, I can’t help but love her. Maybe it’s because she’s completely crazy and I appreciate a little bit of crazy in a woman. Or maybe it’s because she’s so gorgeous and I have a girl crush. But I think the real pull for me was listening to her speak about her father. Having a parent that has battled cancer, I know how tough life can feel. I’m on Team Michelle.

Gia is back and ready for BP2 revenge. She shows us a diagram which explains how she got to the point she’s at now, and basically all I draw from this is that she’s completely desperate and felt the need to embarrass herself on national television just one more time. At least she’s hot.

Now for the crazies…

Vienna is back and this time brought her boyfriend Kasey along for the ride. I completely forgot that I needed subtitles to understand his voice and am immediately frustrated. Didn’t ABC realize this the first time around? Luckily, Kasey put on 30lbs. of muscle to bulk up for the BP2. Where did this 30 lbs. go? To Vienna’s ass? I’m confused. Am I missing something?

As if The Bachelorette, The Bachelor, Dancing With The Stars, One Life To Live and that stupid new food show he’s on weren’t enough, Jake Pavelka is back for another shot at fame. Jake points out that he was crushed when Vienna sold their story to a tabloid for a large amount of money. How dare she beat him to the punch!

Erica Rose is back in town and is convinced that she can use her sex appeal to her advantage. Excuse me… What sex appeal? You have none. I hope she’s voted off ASAP because I don’t think I’ll be able to look at this pig for weeks to come.

Back to some normal people for a minute…

Graham Bunn, known for not being able to open up enough to Deanna Pappas back in 2008 is back for another chance at love and money. He’s playing for his charity – 46NYC. Can’t say anything negative there!

Ella pulls out a terribly sad story from left field, something we never heard about on her season of The Bachelor. I have to admit, she’s looking beautiful these days.

Another awkward couple alert! Holly and Michael, who recently broke off their engagement, will be joining BP2. Holly says that she met Michael after Matt dumped her on the Bachelor. She forgot to mention her relationship with Jesse Csinsak and about 5 other past Bachelor people. Small details.

Blake is here to contract some STDs. Not make any money. End of story.

Arrival Time

All of the contestants arrive to the house and immediately scope out their prey. Holly and Blake are already flirting and she likes him because he uses big words. Blake tells us that Tiara Girl is a little thick… I die laughing. He obviously does not see her sex appeal. Must be blind…

We begin to see the Kasey/Vienna/Jake drama unfold and within 5 minutes and I’m completely bored. When Jake and Kasey meet for the first time, Jake acts like he doesn’t know who Kasey is. I’m sure he didn’t watch Ali’s season. Right. Then they proceed to talk about the weather.

First Challenge

Alli and Graham accidently team up together, as do Melissa and Blake. Blake is cool with this for now, but he’s trying to get with as many girls as possible, so this could put a wrench in his plan. Poor Kirk got way too drunk and agreed to have Erica as his partner. I sure hope he’s been working out like Kasey because that’s one heavy sex appeal to hold up.

It’s time to hold on to your partners above a bed in a compromising position. What is this show? Seriously? Does anyone play games like these on the regular? This is going to be the new-age 7 Minutes in Heaven. I’m predicting it now.

Vienna lets us know that she’ll be really good at this challenge because she’s a gymnast. I’ll bet $100 that that’s not the reason she’ll be good at this challenge. I think it involves less gymnastics and more drunken college nights.

Throughout the challenge, a few STDs are shared and people start dropping like flies. Holly announces that she’d rather be drinking than having her legs wrapped around Michael any longer – story of their relationship? Jake took some mushrooms before the challenge and is convinced that they’re hanging over a 3000 ft. cliff and rescue helicopters are en route. Lay off the drugs, Jake.

Jackie and Jake win the challenge and I’m pretty sure that Jackie is wondering if she can trade Jake in at this point for Ames. Vienna is livid that she and Kasey lost to Jake. This is when the Vienna show goes way too far. I can’t decide who I hate the most, but she’s definitely in the lead.

*Pause* Does Kasey have frosted tips again? Do we think that’s hair mascara?

Jake & Jackie’s Date

Jake and Jackie have dinner in Hollywood “above the stars.” Before heading to dinner, they’re approached by a young girl who is crying because she’s a fan of Jake. My heart breaks for this child… She’s going to be even more screwed up than I am. Good luck little one!

Their date seems normal and surprisingly, Jake seems normal also. I’m convinced that he’s been practicing how to seem less psycho on television. He admits that he made a fool of himself on live television and lashed out at Vienna. First step – Admitting the problem.

The Third Rose

Gia tries to convince Jake that giving Vienna the rose is a bad decision, telling him not to put the enemy in a bomb shelter while you’re trying to bomb them. Then they talk about history and compare the rose to a few historical events. This is way too deep for my liking.

Jackie takes the target off of her back and gives Jake permission to hand out the rose to whomever he’d like. I think this was a smart move on her part. If she’d given it to someone, let’s say Ames, she’d be targeted immediately as a “couple.”

The devil gets the rose. Gia is livid. Jake gives the most fabricated apology I’ve ever seen to Vienna and Kasey and once again, I’m completely bored.

Afterwards, Kasey and Vienna are caught making sexytime on a hidden camera. I immediately Lysol my television screen in fear of virtually catching something.

Rose Ceremony/Voting

Let’s start out with the most horrendous event of the evening – Erica’s dress. WOOF. Did anyone tell her that this looked good? If they did, they brutally lied. She looks like a circus freak.

Rated R and Alli seem to be on the chopping block, but I’m really hoping that Erica or Melissa somehow get sent home. As expected, Rated R and Alli both go home. But not before Rated R delivers one of my favorites lines from the night, “Someone needs to knock King Dingaling off his throne.” Genius. I need to call someone King Dingaling one of these days.

I’m sad that Alli went home. She’s a pretty nice girl, but I suppose she wouldn’t have brought as much entertainment to my screen as Erica’s sex appeal.

So friends, what did you think of the Bachelor Pad 2? Are you completely relieved that it will never be 3 hours again? Do you feel like you wasted a significant portion of your life? Who are your favorites?

Bachelorette Viewing Party!

2011-08-02T12:15:00.011-04:00

Planning a viewing party in a few hours isn't exactly easy, but we pulled it off!

First item of business: Wine! And what better brand than Cupcake for TEAM CUPCAKE!?

Next up: Cupcakes! With beautiful red roses - duh!

How could we have a party without photos of JP & Ben? Look familiar?

And a fabulous group of friends & family to watch with! Sadly, Jenn Kamienski was not in this photo. Boo! I have to admit, for throwing this together in virtually an hour, our crew was solid!

On to the episode...

I have been Team JP since Day 1, but I have always really liked Ben. Last night was tough to watch. The finale, like always, was a bit slow. The worst part of it all was during the "After the Final Rose" when ABC decided to preview some ridiculous show for what seemed like forever. Bachelorette Buzzkill.

Some of the highlights/lowlights from last night:

Ashley's sister - Luckily, she apologized at the "After the Final Rose" and is now BFF with JP, but I thought her performance on the show was rough. If she was my sister and treated my possible fiance like that, I would have been livid. I think she crossed the line. It's one thing to be skeptical and a little tough, it's another to be flat out rude. She was incredibly close minded with JP.

Ben & Ashley - I could not believe what Ashley did to Ben. I really like her, but c'mon, how do you let a man get on his knee and propose? There were so many opportunities for Ashley to just say "Stop." She let him get his hopes up and proposing was so completely unnecessary. Deanna did this with Jason as well. It's just something about this show that I do not understand. Do the producers make the Bachelorettes do this? My heart broke.

Because Ben was rejected, we proceeded with this:

Sorry Ben :(

JP's Proposal - Did you cry? Because I shed a tear. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I loved this. The proposal was completely heartfelt and genuine and if you didn't see the love/passion between these two, you're blind. I REALLY hope they last!

TEAM JP!

As I mentioned in my earlier post, Good Morning America came out to film the party last night!

Not all of our footage made the segment, but my "Team JP" line did:

Not my most flattering screenshot, but I'll take it! Fame is fame.

If you haven't seen the segment, click here! It's great.

Thank you to everyone who kept up with my blog all season! Make sure to keep following me for Bachelor Pad 2 coverage!

Bachelorette Finale Viewing Party - Good Morning America!

2011-08-02T08:55:00.002-04:00

For anyone who hasn't read my frantic Facebook statuses or tweets, I was selected by Good Morning America to host a Bachelorette Finale Viewing Party last night and have it aired on this morning's show! What an exciting night it was! Watching the finale with 10 other ladies didn't exactly leave much room for taking notes, so I won't be recapping the finale at length. Instead, I'll recap the party and give you some key thoughts! Additional blog post to follow!

First off - Here is the segment: http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/video/bachelorette-finale-season-drama-ends-14211716?tab=9482931&section=1206836&playlist=2898870

My 3 seconds of fame! FINALLY! When do you think I'll get my own show?

Bachelorette Men Tell All!

2011-08-01T14:31:00.001-04:00

Rather than do a traditional recap, this post will be a little bit of a mish-mosh.

Bloopers:

I LOVE the bloopers. Why can’t ABC show us more of these throughout the season? It’d be much more entertaining than watching Ashley recap her time with each of the men every week. My favorites were:

JP & Ashley’s 1^st date – I really enjoyed seeing the “real factor” on this date. I’d much rather see her fall asleep in his arms and their remote difficulties than hear all of the mushy gushy stuff.

Mickey in the wine cellar – Loved this! “My manhood is in my stomach.”

Ashley’s Vaseline by her nightstand – Really could say so many inappropriate things right now, but it’s only Monday, so I’ll keep it classy.

Favorite Guys of the Evening:

William – Here’s my take on William… He screwed up. We all make mistakes. The guys went a little overboard on making William feel like a jackass. In terms of the roast, it was a ROAST. He took it quite literally and ripped into Ashley. Big deal. On the other hand, I didn’t love what he did to Ben C., but c’mon, he was trying to get ahead. Was it the classiest move? No. Did it violate Man Code? Yes. Was it the worst thing anyone has done on this show? Not even close. I think William did a great job defending himself last night and he came off very genuine. He was clearly mortified.

Bottom line here: William made a mistake. But William is hysterical and actually may have a future in comedy. When he said, “Why are we here? Cause none of us can find a girl to date and we’re all single,” I died.

Ryan – I think Ryan really came off great last night. He’s obviously had some intense therapy sessions, watched himself on the show, and realized that he looked like a total ass. I love when people can make fun of themselves and Ryan did, even calling himself spastic. Great word choice! And mentioning that talking about water heaters isn’t very exciting. No kidding! Lucas even chimes in and calls him a “camp counselor,” which I love. Last week, if you told me Ryan was going to be the next Bachelor, I would have hurled. This week, I’ll take it.

Ames – I kind of loved Ames last night. He wasn’t nearly as robotic and seemed genuinely happy for Ashley. I think Ames moved into the “Fan Favorite” category last night… If he doesn’t end up with Jackie, he has a shot at being the next Bachelor. I was very disappointed in Ames’ simple polo shirt though… I live for his fashion faux-paus.

My least favorite guys of the evening:

Nick & Blake – Every season, someone is overly confrontational at the Men/Women Tell All. This season, Nick and Blake were those people. For Blake, he was obviously trying to build up his persona before the Bachelor Pad 2 premiere. For Nick, most definitely trying to secure a spot on Bachelor Pad 3. Since when does he speak? They both seemed like bullies to me.

Bachelor Pad 2 Preview:

The Bachelor Pad 2 preview was epic. I hate that word… It sounds like something a Jersey Shore cast member would say, but it’s true. This show is going to be wild, dramatic and slutty. What more could you ask for? I’m most excited for the Holly, Michael, Blake and Melissa love-triangle. Also, very excited for the Graham and Michelle makeouts… Who wouldn’t want to watch that?

Finally, Ashley comes out and addresses the guys. First off, she looks smokin’. It’s a shame that her face is a few shades lighter than her body. My favorite part of Ashley’s time on stage was her “introduction” to Tim. Tim was a pisser last night. I really wish he had showed up drunk though, can’t lie.

Deanna, Jason and Ali all make an appearance. It’s like Therapy 101 with the past contenstants. Yawn. I have a girl crush on Deanna.

Overall, this Men Tell All was boring. The bloopers should have made up a full hour… Give us more!

Bachelorette Fantasy Suites - Let's Get Steamy!

2011-07-26T10:43:00.002-04:00

I love the overnight date episode. Things finally move away from being deep and spiritual and turn a little more XXX. Ashley arrives in Fiji, gets out of a helicopter and miraculously does not pull a Britney. Girls got skills. Again, we recap her feelings of the remaining men. It took every ounce of control in me to not fast forward. Why does ABC insist on doing this each week? Give us more bloopers!

Uh oh… Ryan is back! He should have left his shirt back in the USA, along with the creepy stare he has plastered across his face. Ryan returns to tell Ashley that Wes has a girlfriend back at home and isn’t there for the right reasons. Oh wait, wrong season… Sorry about that! Ryan is back to tell her that he really felt a strong connection during their 15 minutes together and he’s been miserable since she kicked him to the curb. AKA Ryan stopped taking his Lexapro and the misery that is real life kicked in. Ashley is shitting bricks – total self esteem overload. Someone is finally madly in love with her and actually begging to come back! Oh how the tables have turned…

Ashley shows up to her date with Ben, probably a few hours late because of Ry. The two of them get to sail around Fiji on a gorgeous yacht and make out. Sounds like a great date to me! Ashley straddles Ben. I am happy. Finally, something steamy! Bring on the hot tubs next! They go snorkeling and float around the water. Ben says that he is floating and it feels great. He probably has gas.

At dinner, Ashley and Ben throw back a few Mai Tai’s, getting fully liquored up before it’s time for the Fantasy Suites. Ben tells Ashley that he’s completely available now. I think he really meant physically… After all, it is time for the Fantasy Suite. Ashley is so excited to show Ben the Fantasy Suite Card… And her goodies. They both decide to forgo their individual rooms and stay as a couple in the Fantasy Suite. If ABC ever changes the wording of the date cards (specifically forgo), I may forgo this show.

Back in the Fantasy Suite, Ashley and Ben go swimming. I was hoping for a skinny dip. They really let me down.

Morning rolls around and it’s time for Ashley’s date with Constantine. She has bed head from her wild night with Ben. I think Ben also ate half of her shirt. Constantine is rocking the Euro-Mullet, and boy what a fabulous sense of humor he has for noting that! Well played, sir. Ashley is shocked that Constantine has never been in a helicopter… I think that's normal.

Wait, pause. Is Ryan seriously standing on a sand dune looking up at her and Constantine? This show is genius. Wait, hold on. Now he’s in a cave pondering life. Brilliant.

Then Constantine and Ashley go to a waterfall. The wet rat look isn’t so great on Constantine. Ashley compares him looking at 108 houses to finding a wife. Way to over analyze him… These comparisons are not relevant! Ashley thinks it’s hard to read Constantine. I don’t think he likes her at all. Easy to read in my eyes.

Later that night, things get deep during dinner. Ashley doesn’t think that their relationship is progressing at the rate it should be. He’s not madly in love and ready to propose to her after only one month of group dating. Constantine would rather talk about Ben. Ashley is curious to know if it’s weird that he and Ben are dating the same girl. Constantine is thinking, “No. I’m just jealous that you got to spend a night in the Fantasy Suite with Ben and I didn’t.”

Ashley doesn’t feel loved. This is doomed. She wonders if he’s moving slowly because of the process… Yeah, maybe it’s the 5 cameras up in his face and the 2 up his ass. Just a thought! Well, it’s the end of the road for Constantine. With his exit, Ashley drinks the two fruity drinks, two glasses of wine, and heads alone to the Fantasy Suite. Once again, Ashley thinks about what might happen if she ends up alone. Don’t forget about Ryan!

The next morning, Ryan’s heart is beating out of his chest again. He obviously found his Lexapro and funneled 3 Red Bulls before seeing Ashley. I’ll put money on an upcoming endorsement deal from Ryan & Red Bull – Red Bull gives Ryan wings! Ashley dumps Ryan, again, and he’s defeated. ABC sets him up perfectly to be the next Bachelor… Ryan doesn’t think he’ll ever find love!

Time for Ashley to see her true love, JP! She is so much happier to see him than anyone else. They take a seaplane to a deserted island in Fiji… Remind anyone else of Ali and Roberto’s date in Bora Bora? Seems quite similar to me! Ashley and JP make out in the ocean for a few hours and JP tells her that he wants the whole thing to end. I’m really loving this episode… It’s getting hot!

Later that night, Ashley puts on her most bling-tastic earrings and is ready to play a cruel joke on JP… Telling him that she said goodbye to two guys this week. Why would you get his hopes up like that? I wish I could slap Ashley through the television. Dinner goes well, but the only thing I’m thinking about is the Fantasy Suite. Anyone else? JP tells Ashley that he needs a little something more. No kidding – That something can be found in the Fantasy Suite. It’s called sex.

The lovebirds head into the Fantasy Suite and Ashley puts on a sexy white button down and kicks out the camera crew. Cue porno music.

Why must we have a rose ceremony? Oh right, because Ashley needs another confidence boost… She needs to know that the two remaining men love her back. Ashley and Chris have a quick one-on-one session and she has a serious post-sex glow across her face.

At the rose ceremony, Ben finds out that Constantine left. He’s crushed, heartbroken, probably wants to walk out and go find his love. But, he accepts the rose.

Who’s excited for the finale next week? Who is your pick for the win? Leave some comments!

Bachelorette Hometown Dates & A Bachelor Meet & Greet!

2011-07-18T22:48:00.006-04:00

Before I start, I wanted to quickly mention my birthday party. This weekend, I turned the big 2-5. Since I was having my party at a NYC staple, "The Frying Pan," I figured, Why not invite Ashley Spivey, my favorite Bachelor/ette friend!? I need to give her and Alli Travis a quick shout out and thank you for stopping by! It was so nice of them both. Both Ashley and Alli were both contestants on Brad Womack's season of The Bachelor. They both stopped by my party for a quick "Happy Birthday" and both could not have been any sweeter. Thanks again!

On to the show...

Time for the Bachelorette hometown dates! I have to admit… It’s my favorite episode. We usually get to see one incredibly awkward family, a weird ritual and stuffed dead animals. Unfortunately, not this time. These guys all come from normal, wealthy, well rounded families. What fun is this!? None.

Before Ashley makes her way across the country, she gives us a quick recap of her feelings:

Ben: Ashley thinks that Ben is a “real guy.” I think Ben seems like a “real boy.”
Constantine: Something about him is so sexy to Ashley. It’s probably that she can’t get him so easily and he hasn’t fallen head over heels for her yet. She thinks that he’s the total package. Too bad he thinks that Ben is the total package.
Ames: I remember nothing about this.
JP: Ashley feels like she’s known him forever.

Okay, glad we wasted 15 minutes of my life recapping what I already knew. Thanks again ABC for wasting away my 20’s.

First hometown date goes to Constantine! Ashley meets him in a park and pulls a “Jillian,” running, jumping into his arms and doing the twirl. Constantine dressed up big-time for the occasion, rocking his newest American Apparel hoodie.

The first stop on their date is Giorgio’s. The restaurant seems cute… A nice mix of Italian, American and Greek, according to Constantine. Back in the kitchen, Ashley tries to make a pizza, full of Constantine’s toppings. Then they toss salad together. Uh-oh.

Next step, Cumming. (If anyone thought anything inappropriate while reading the last two paragraphs, you have a dirty mind.) Constantine’s family is super adorable. How weird would it have been if they told Ashley that her twin sister, separated at birth, was Constantine’s sister Maria? Wouldn’t have been too surprised considering they looked like twins.

Constantine’s mom thinks that they need more time together. So do I, Mrs. Tzortzis, but you know he’s on The Bachelorette, right? She asks Ashley if she’d be willing to relocate to Cumming and Ashley is on board. Constantine’s dad thinks that this whole sha-bang is bonkers.

Soon they’re joined by the entire Greek entourage. Love it! Great family, Constantine.

Moving along to Pennsylvania… Time to meet THE ROBOTS.

Luckily, Ames read my blog last week and burned his ADIDAS pants. He looks 100x better in the jeans/flannel combination. Thank god! On the flip side, Ames took a bottle of Jergens Natural Glow to the face and is borderline orange. His mom tells him that she thinks he looks healthy. I think he looks like Snooki.

Ames could not be any sweeter on this date, but his robotic ways are coming out around the family as well. If you talk to your mom like a robot, you’re a robot. I see where he gets it from though… Ames’ mom thinks that the world is their oyster. HE GET IT FROM HIS MAMA. It breaks my heart to think that Ames has lost both his father and stepfather… And it does help me appreciate why Ames is who he is.

Ashley mentions multiple times that their relationship has moved much slower than the others. AKA He’s getting the boot. She’s setting the stage.

*CHEESY WARNING: Ames gets a lot of credit for this quote – “There is so much more magic in the ordinary. Life isn’t all fireworks.” I loved this from him. I told my boyfriend that him watching The Bachelorette with me was “ordinary fireworks.” He basically told me to F off. Oh well, worth a shot!

FINALLY, time for the date with Ben in Sonoma! I’ve been waiting for this since he exited the limo. According to Ashley, everything about Ben screams sexiness. Chill out Ashley, it’s just the winery that’s screaming sexy. Bring on the Pinot!

This whole date is a little boring for me. Ben is great. Such a doll, fun, warm, but this date was a total snoozefest. They bond outside in the rain and then head in to meet the family. His mom and sister are nice, but the whole thing is a bit stuffy and sad for my liking. Not helping my humorous blog. I don’t enjoy crying during The Bachelorette.

One thought on Ben… He seems young for Ashley. I know he’s older than her, but he seems a little bit like a kid still and not ready for the whole 6 week engagement thing.

Last stop on the Hometown Train – Roslyn, NY! I was really hoping that JP’s cousin (my friend from FSU) would make an appearance on this date, but I’ll settle for the rest of his family. JP and Ashley meet in a park, straight out of Alice in Wonderland, and then head to the skating rink. This place is a dead ringer for Skater’s World. Anyone from Wayne, NJ will understand. It’s bringing me back to my 7^th birthday party.

Again, let’s all take a quick reality check. These two are in love… So much more than the other guys! They can’t stop kissing! This date is just precious.

Time to meet the Rosenbaums! Ilene cooks up some lasagna and I feel right at home. I love JP’s mom… Can I adopt her? She’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. The perfect mother in law. She’s asking all of the right questions.

Ilene and Ashley have some one on one time and she lets Ashley know that she’s nervous that JP’s heart will be broken. ABC obviously edited out the part where Ashley says, “Don’t worry Ilene. I’m madly in love with your son and choosing him in the end. Legally I can’t eliminate three guys at the rose ceremony or I totally would!”

Brother Roy is cool beans in my book. Him and JP seem like they have a good relationship. I wish we got to see more of Mr. Rosenbaum.

OMG – JP’s Bar Mitzvah photo is to die for. The quaff is killer. Their babies will be so cute!

Okay, okay, honeymoon’s over. Back to Los Angeles! Ashley recaps the hometown dates for Chris Harrison. I take a quick power nap. She says that Constantine’s was the best hometown date. How dare she say that! Did she forget how precious Ilene is? Rude.

At the Rose Ceremony, poor Ames gets the heave-ho. In Ames fashion, they shake hands goodbye. I will say… Ames seemed more natural in the limo than during the whole season. I hope he finds someone to share his adventures with!

Who is your pick? Which family was your favorite? Would you love to see a guest blog from Ilene? Leave some comments!

Bachelorette Takes Taiwan!

2011-07-12T08:04:00.009-04:00

I’m going to start out by addressing one of the most serious issues of the evening… Ames’ clothing choices. The first problem: ADIDAS pants went out of style in 1999. The second: If you’re going to wear them, WHY with a plaid shirt? C’mon Ames. You’re killing me here.

We’ll address the second problematic outfit shortly. Moving on…

We kick off the episode with Ashley recapping her feelings on each of the remaining men and with Chris Harrison letting them know that four of them will be the “Fortunate Four.” Never heard that one before… What happened to Final Four?

Constantine gets the first 1-on-1 date. If I was Ryan, I’d be popping a Lexapro right about now. Ashley and Constantine board their train and I’m wondering if this could end up like Robby D. in Jillian’s season, where she kicked him off the train and left him on the side of the road. Luckily for Constantine, this was not an elimination/rose date. The two of them paint their love wishes on a lantern. I caught a glimpse of what they really said…

Ashley’s: I hope that I can stop faking my affection for these other guys and just end up with JP soon.
Constantine’s: I hope that my bromance with Ben lasts forever and forever. (BF + CT = Love 4EAE)

The night portion of their date is boring, as usual. I really like Constantine… He’s normal, isn’t falling head over heels yet, and seems to be a stand-up dude. This means that he’ll never win. In Bachelor land, you must already be crazy in love to stand a chance.

Ben gets the next date. Ryan is now overdosing on Lexapro, while JP is beginning his freakout session. Ashley and Ben ride on their mopeds around Taiwan and Ben thinks that it feels natural to have Ashley’s legs wrapped around him. Now we’re talkin!

Back at the hotel, Ryan gets his 1-on-1 date card and does some creepy elbow move to celebrate. WTF was that? Anyone have any explanations? Ryan has a “whole bunch of energy running through him and he can’t turn it off.” Jesus Christ Ryan, lay off the drugs! Watching him gives me severe anxiety.

Anyways, back on the date, Ben is totally confident that he’s getting a hometown date. I would be too if I was a winemaker. Ashley is obviously going to choose day of wine tasting rather than learning about solar powered energy. Ben also refers to love as the L-Bomb which scores major points in my book. He’s a nerd and I like it. I think they’re very cute together. If JP wasn’t on the show, Ben would probably have a good chance.

While getting ready for the group date, the guys realize that Ben hasn’t come home. JP is borderline raging and wants to kick Ben’s ass when he gets home. Ben managed to get right under JP’s skin when he got back, avoiding giving the guys any details of why he was gone overnight. I’m sure his beanie made it even more frustrating.

Time for another really stupid date by ABC – a wedding photo shoot! Why?! One of the best lines of the evening goes to JP for comparing Ames to an “offspring of an ostrich and Elton John.” Genius. This whole date is weird. JP looks great. Ames looks like a freak. And Lucas is in perfect character, looking uptight and kind of scary as usual.

The evening is just as awkward. Love Ashley’s green dress… or shirt… whichever it really is. Now it’s time for Ames’ second fashion offense…

What shade would you consider these pants? Washed too many times cherry red? Pepto? Magenta? Whatever they are… They are wrong.

FINALLY, Ryan gets his 1-on-1 date and his heart is beating out of his chest again. Oh man. The date starts out with another spiritual activity… throwing some rocks on the ground and hoping they come up opposites. I’m really sick of these mushy spiritual activities. Can we try something a little more raunchy? What happened to hot tub make out scenes? C’mon! I'm so ready for the Bachelor Pad.

Ryan goes on a tangent about heating water and Ashley knows they’re doomed. She’s not green, litters and leaves the faucet on while brushing her teeth. Time for Ryan to go home. But wait, don’t you feel bad for this face? He’s shocked! Sad! Heartbroken! BREAK OUT THE LEXAPRO! CALL THE ABC PSYCHOTHERAPIST! BRAD WOMACK – WHERE IS YOUR SHRINK? WE NEED HIM!

I will say that Ryan shouldn’t have been so surprised. They never had a 1-on-1 date until this point which is a clear sign. With that said, I still feel bad for him. He does not take it so well. His exit was pretty brutal to watch.

The rest of the episode is a bore. Ashley knows that she’s sending Lucas home so we’re able to skip over the cocktail party and make time for the Emily/Brad saga. Lucas goes home and I’m not sad. Kind of relieved, but I will say… He took it like a man and was a real gentleman. I've been pretty hard on Lucas this season... I doubt he'll become a fan of my blog.

I didn’t have time to watch the Emily confessions. I’m saving that for tonight! Which means, another blog post tomorrow! Hoorah!

So, which hometown date are you most excited for? Do you think Ryan has a shot at being the next Bachelor? Leave some comments!

Bachelorette Beatdown - A Must Watch For Crazy Fans Like Me!

2011-06-30T16:13:00.010-04:00

Happy Thursday!

I wanted to share a new found gem with all of my die-hard Bachelorette fans - RTV ZONE's BACHELORETTE BE ATDOWN. Every Tuesday night, a team of Bachelor/Bachelorette alum's get together to chat about that weeks episode and their thoughts on the show. It's VERY funny!

The show is lead by Jesse Csincsak, former cast member on The Bachelorette (with Deanna Pappas). Each week 6-10 of these alum's are chosen, but there are some staples:

Ashley Spivey - One of my favorite contestants from Brad Womack's season of the Bachelor! She is my #1 Bachelor friend on Twitter and always has the nicest things to say. Love her!

Marissa May - Another favorite from Brad's season. Marissa is a great addition to the Bachelorette Beatdown and always gives a good (and neutral) perspective. AND she's got a great fashion sense!

David Good - Dave is the winner of last year's Bachelor Pad and one of the funniest members on the panel! Dave always tells it like it is... And as a girl, I really appreciate that. *Sidenote: Dave and I chatted on the phone last summer because he casually dated one of my best friends. He called me her "blogger friend." I insisted that I was much cooler than that!

Natalie Getz - LOVE LOVE LOVE Natalie! Natalie, who won Bachelor Pad with Dave, is the funniest girl that has ever been on the Bachelor shows. Like, pee your pants kind of funny. And she is always spot on with her style comments.

Wes Hayden - Wes, the token villian from Jillian's season of the Bachelorette, is great. I love hearing Wes's perspective on how the show really runs and what editing can do to people.

Trista Sutter - Trista, the "Bachelorette Mama" brings some history to the show, being the first ever Bachelorette and first success story. Trista is never afraid to stand up to some of the alpha-males which is always entertaining!

Eliza Orlins - The show also includes Eliza, who is a former cast member of Survivor, another one of my favorite shows! Eliza is not part of the Bachelor family, but I love that she brings an outside perspective. And she's lived my dream of going on Survivor, so of course I love her!

If you can't tune in live, make sure to catch up on these episodes when you have some down time. I promise, you won't regret it! You great some great insight into what really happens on the show.

Have a great weekend!

Adios Bentley!

2011-06-27T22:45:00.001-04:00

Welcome to Hong Kong! First order of business – Who noticed the rapid moving people behind Ashley as she stared up at the skyscrapers? Reminded me of Heroes or something. How Sci-Fi of the producers! Well, as expected, Chris Harrison pops into Ashleys room for a quick catch-up session and to let her know that Bentley is downstairs!

“SHUT UP!” Was that not the most fake “Shut up!” you’ve ever heard? I bet that was Take 16 of the Shut Up. The only thing that I’m grateful for is the fact that they put this Bentley shindig at the beginning of the episode. At least we get it over with.

As expected, Ashley heads down to Bentley’s room, 4315, and lingers outside of the door for a minute or so. Knock, you creeper! He’s going to see your feet. Ashley enters, not before giving Bentley a quick smooch, and the stupidest conversation in history begins. “So, what’s up? Fill me in!” Really? We’re really doing this? So annoying.

The whole scene is just irritating and I was glad when it ended. Adios Bentley! Hope you get plane-sick on the ride home.

Ashley’s first one on one date is with Lucas. Why?! Why would you not choose Blake? He seems so much less psychotic. And he has great teeth. I’m not sure I’ll be able to sit through this date. Lucas scares me.

Okay, I was kind of wrong. Lucas grew on me slightly throughout the date. I don’t like him, but I will stop saying that he reminds me of a serial killer. Let’s get down to brass tacks here – No romance between these two. And Lucas is too Southern for Ashley. Lucas will not be getting on his knee to propose in a few weeks. I think that Ashley was just so relieved to be done with the Bentley situation that she had a good date because she was happy, not because she liked him.

Back at the hotel, shit is about the hit the fan. Partially because Blake and Ryan are livid that they aren’t getting the 1-on-1 date, and partially because I think JP pooped his pants when he realized he was getting a 2^nd 1-on-1 date before some guys got their 1^st. Either way, shit hits fan.

Time for the group date. Glad ABC planned something as ridiculous as dragon boat racing. If it wasn’t for Ben and Constantines hysterical comments and attire, this date could have put me to sleep. I’m going to take a guess and say that the guys would have much rather make out with Ashley in a hot tub than recruit Chinese people to be on their racing teams. Just a guess!

Constantine and Ben win this date. Their outfits were genius and some of the comments they made… I died. “Sheer pandemonium set in,” or “We’re getting smoked! Like salmon bro!” I would have taken the rose, chopped it in half and given it to both of them. Then I would have drowned Ryan’s giddy ass. Unfortunately, that did not happen.

On to another rooftop party. Ames is all hopped up and ready to seduce Ashley in the elevator. Where the hell did that come from? Someone had some liquid courage going on. This scene is so awkward and nothing close to hot. Their kiss looked painful… Far from the hot, steamy, elevator make-out that I was hoping for. Then Ashley makes out with Ben for a bit. And I really like Ben, but that kiss was just as lame. Stop pecking each other! Ashley gives the rose to Happy Ryan.

JP receives his date card. “Let’s take a peek into our future.” Definitely going to a peep show. Sweet! Damn it… I was wrong, no peep show. Instead we get another adorable and perfect date with Ashley and JP. No cheesy tourist activities, no harassing locals… Just a great dinner date! The night is going smoothly until Ashley wants to drop the Bentley bomb. She creates quite a build-up before breaking the news… I swore she was going to come out of the closet. Instead, she tells JP about the Bentley drama and he handles it like a man. Then they make out and sparks fly all over Hong Kong.

Ashley should probably just propose to JP on this date. Let’s get real. Their chemistry is light years ahead of the others. Is it even appropriate to continue the season like this? It’s kind of cruel.

Cocktail party time! Ashley’s dress is way too over the top for my liking. It’s distracting. She drops the Bentley bomb on the rest of the crew and unlike JP, they all get their panties in a big bundle. I guess I understand. She did lie. But, it’s a show. Chill out guys. Lucas is back to serial killer status, Constantine is pissed that this may interfere with his bromances, and Ames reminds us all that he went to the hospital for Ashley.

Oh wait… I spoke too soon. Ryan is not fazed! His heart didn’t even move a beat. That’s probably because his heartrate is at a consistent 180 resting. The guy is on speed and/or happy pills at all times.

Mickey is the most pissed. It’s partially because Ashley lied, but part of it is because she likes Ryan. The producers cut a lot of their conversation, but apparently the main reason that he left was because of Ryan. I’m torn on this because I understand being frustrated with another guy in the house, but everyone likes different people. I’m sad to see Mickey go, but really, he didn’t bring much to the table. And also, if he hadn’t left on his own, she would have sent him home.

Ashley has another meltdown. Does anyone have the number for Brad Womack’s therapist? I think we’re going to need him from here on out. Ashley needs some help and I don’t think Chris Harrison is cutting it.

Blake gets the boot and I feel bad for him. Blake seemed like a good catch and he didn’t even get a chance! She should have at least kept him over Lucas. At least we’ll see him on the Bachelor Pad!

Only 6 guys left! What do you think? Who are your favorites? Leave some comments!

ANTYHING Can Happen in Chiang Mai!

2011-06-21T10:45:00.001-04:00

I’m about to call the producers over at ABC and tell them to re-evaluate their jobs. There is always a dramatic aspect to every season, always one person we can’t stand, but this Bentley situation… This is so far beyond annoying that it’s sucking the fun out of the show for me. And that is very, very hard to do. Luckily, we’re in Chiang Mai this week and ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN IN CHIANG MAI. Definitely one of the stupider things I heard this week. Of course anything can happen in Chiang Mai. Anything can happen anywhere. Ugh! The retarded quotes were at an all time high this episode.

Anything can happen this week – We could see a concussion from muay thai , two people could get sent home on a 2-on-1 date, and Ashley could beg Chris Harrison to bring back Bentley. Sure enough, all of those things happened! Go figure.

Ben F. gets the first date and I have to say, I think he’s close to perfect. I really wish Ashley would stop thanking Ben and the others for sticking around, for joining her on the dates, etc. It’s part of the damn show. Stop being so polite. Watching Ashley and Ben talk about how they want to kiss, but can’t, reminded me of Jake’s season when him and Nanny Elizabeth didn’t kiss at the amusement park. A little different – Elizabeth was playing the psychotic hard-to-get card, and this time the temple was holding them back, but nonetheless, similar.

Ben and Ashley’s evening date is beautiful. The producers get a few points for that floral arrangement on the floor… Absolutely gorgeous. Ben F. tells Ashley that he spends all day making wine. I on the other hand, spend all day thinking about wine. Basically, he’s living my dream. Ben is great – talking about having friends over to hang out and drink wine, how he wants to spoil someone – WINNER. And with no surprise, Ben gets a rose.

It’s time for the group date and what better activity than muay thai. Definitely a safe option! Ashley has pink boxing gloves like me! We’re twins! I, on the other hand, do not have that stomach to match. Buzzkill. Poor Ames… He’s never been in a fight in his life, BUT he could tell you the latitude and longitude of Chiang Mai! Does that count for anything?

Watching the guys battle was entertaining. My boyfriend even agreed to watch the show for a few minutes! SUCCESS! JP was the best person to watch… Talking about how a small Jew from Long Island beat Mickey the Irishman… Hysterical. Can JP get any better?

How fitting was it that Ames had the pink shorts? And how sad was it to watch him with his concussion? Although, you definitely laughed a little during the fight, right? Not just me? It’s pretty incredible that this guy is probably the most physically fit on the entire show (besides Nick the trainer) and he couldn’t hold his own during a muay thai match. He should stick with 100 mile marathons.

Sometimes I think Ashley isn’t nice enough. I’m sure she’s a good person, but wouldn’t you go with Ames to the hospital? Or at least give him the rose? Not judging, but c’mon! All I was really worried about was who won the heavyweight challenge? Apparently, it was Constantine, which kind of surprises me.

Ames is back! He’s clearly out of whack. Telling Ashley that the day was great? At least give him a kiss or something. A sympathy kiss. Please? Ashley and Blake have some bonding time. He lets her know that love is not a marathon, it’s a sprint. Who writes this shit? And that isn’t true, Blake. I’m so sick of these contestants talking about love being a marathon, taking your time, getting to know someone, love not being about winning – BULLSHIT. This is THE BACHELORETTE! It’s fast, rapid, fake and only about winning!

Ashley and Lucas play a little air golf. Confession: Lucas shares the shit out of me. I can’t put my finger on it but he seems like a potential serial killer. Maybe it’s the black eyes, or the creepy smile, but it’s killing me. Luckily, he doesn’t get the rose.

Time for the “dreaded 2-on-1 date.” As William would say, it’s the thunderdome date. Two men enter and one man leaves. William is also wasted waiting for his date. He keeps calling it “two dudes, one girl.” Sounds a lot like 2 girls, 1 cup. Don’t google that. Seriously, do not.

This whole date was bizarre. Ben C. is looking forward to getting himself on dating websites when he gets home? I think there are some missing pieces to this story. And Ashley believed William that quickly? I don’t buy it. The 1-on-1 part of this date is awkward… Clearly, Ashley still hates William for roasting her. She kicks him off too and he’s shattered. I actually feel bad for Ben C. and William… Really liked them both. William thinks that he is the world’s biggest jackass. He obviously does not realize that Bentley already holds that title. And of course, back at the mansion, Ryan is skipping around pushing William’s bags out the door.

Shocking: Sending two guys home brings in a whole new truckload of insecurities for Ashley. Exactly what we want to see! I’m getting tired of her insecurities. She’s smart, pretty and making a nice chunk of change to be on this show. As viewers, we do not feel bad for you.

Time for the cocktail party! In a nutshell, Constantine prefers the bromance over her, JP is confident and awesome, and Nick needs to get 6-8 hours of sleep because the bags under his eyes are just not going away. Then, Ashley talks to Chris Harrison and embarrasses herself a little bit more, begging for closure with Bentley. I wish Chris would just say – BENTLEY HATES YOU. GET OVER IT! But, he does not. Instead, he’ll play with her heartstrings a little more and bring Bentley back for Round 2.

Ashley sends Nick packing which isn’t a surprise and like usual, doesn’t even walk him out. Cold! Next week, we’ll see Ashley beg for Bentley back and probably consider throwing our wine glasses through the television set. No? Just me?

What’d you think of this week’s episode? Is JP still your favorite or are you about to jump on the Ben F. wine train? And did you notice the HYSTERICAL footage of William and Ben C. after the previews for next week? LOVED!

Enough about Bentley!

2011-06-14T09:06:00.003-04:00

Bentley is just like that stupid ex-boyfriend that your friend will never stop harping on. And you have to listen, because it’s your best friend. Well, Ashley, we aren’t your best friend and we’re really sick of hearing about Bentley. PLEASE STOP!!!!

Chris Harrison pops into the mansion to let the guys know that they’ll be leaving the house and heading to Thailand. I can’t believe how quickly they leave the mansion these days! A few quick observations – Mickey looks nice in glasses, much more toned down. Ryan definitely touched up his frosted tips. I think he uses hair mascara. And Nick looks like he hasn’t slept in ages. His bags under his eyes are brutal.

All of the guys get packing because they only have two hours! Hurry! Quick! Put on your deepest V-neck and let’s hit the road!

Ashley awaits the arrival of the men in Thailand, wearing a shirt that looks like it was partially eaten by an animal, tied up in an 80’s knot. Not my favorite outfit from Ashley. She must have had keratin treatment done to her hair, right? That Thailand rain was intense and she never had frizz.

Constantine gets the first date card. A little out of left field, no? I would have expected it to go to Ben F. or Ryan if I hadn’t read the spoilers beforehand. A little man tells Ashley and Constantine that they can’t go on their boat ride, so instead, they walk through Thailand and harass the locals. First stop: A clothing salesman who they think is a Buddha, asking him weird questions about love.

The faux-buddha tells them that love is not about winning. Um, yes it is. You’re on the Bachelorette. Love is absolutely about winning. Ask Charlie Sheen. WINNING!

The night part of their date is nice. If I didn’t know they were in Thailand, I would have sworn this was the same date on Catalina Island that Kiptyn/Tenley and Chantal/Brad have both been on. Constantine seems nice and normal… A little white rice though. To be honest, I barely paid attention to their conversation because I was too busy staring at Ashley’s turquoise ring. Luckily, my favorite fashion blogger Possessionista found it here.

Back at the house, JP is getting jealous when the other guys talk about kissing Ashley. Clearly, he’s a frontrunner. I’m praying that he doesn’t turn from the cute jealous guy into a total psychopath.

I really enjoyed the group date at the orphanage. I like seeing when the show does something positive, rather than ridiculous dates like a fake wedding or a flash mob. This is where we begin to see Ryan’s annoyance kick in. He thinks Ashley is really RAD, and he’s starting to piss everyone off. In the words of Brad and Emily, he’s “poking the bear.” I wouldn’t have been surprised if Lucas pulled out a shotgun on his ass.

Ben F. really grew on me on this date. Luckily he grew on Ashley too! The mural idea was really cool. I think him and Ashley had a good connection… They were very flirty and playful. I have a good vibe!

On the other hand, Blake is becoming THAT GUY. That guy who would rather focus on the annoying person in the house than focus on winning Ashley’s affection. Note to Blake: That guy never goes far. Get over your hatred of Ryan and move on.

I will say that I agree though. Ryan is annoying as shit. He’s always happy and “on.” He’s definitely taking high doses of Prozac. Last week, my manicurist told me that I’m always happy and smiling… I really hope I’m not like Ryan.

I also loved the one on one time between Ashley and JP – shocking, I know. I appreciate him asking when his next one on one date will be. She really does owe him a good one. Ashley definitely loves him. She thinks he’s the best kisser and calls his bald head sexy. He’s a clear frontrunner.

I’m so glad that Ben F. got the rose. I’m sure all of the other guys weren’t too happy when Ashley decided to give an Oscar acceptance speech pre-rose handout. And let everyone know that she was really developing feelings for him.

Time for the Robot Bash! Ames gets a date, but this isn’t new to him… He’s obviously spent time in Phuket… Twice. He’s done everything! I REALLY hope that Ames gets bombed on this date at some point. Like real sloppy. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen on their daytime date. They paddle through the water. Correction: Ames paddles. Amesbot (Thank you Ashley Spivey for your fabulous nicknames again!) would never let the woman paddle. And then comes one of my favorite lines of the episode… “Navigating the caves is like navigating a relationship.” Right… Exactly what I thought!

Dinner time! PLEASE get Ames drunk. So boring! I’ll give Ames some credit… He asked good questions, the conversation was flowing, and he seems like a stand up guy. But they didn’t even kiss! He said they did something more intimate than kiss. Terrible excuse. That’s just what you say when you don’t get a kiss.

Time for the cocktail party! Ashley looks awesome… Love that dress. Ashley grills West about his deceased wife and I can’t help but feel for him. He seems like such a nice guy. Then she moves along to Lucas, who I really can’t take seriously. He reminds me of a combination of Jake, Brad and George Bush. Dislike! He is not a Southern Gentleman. He’s a Southern Loonie. Then Ryan explains to Ashley that he’s just a really happy guy. HEART! Ugh, simmer down Ryan. YOU’RE BURSTING WITH A LOT OF LOVE IN YOUR CHEST? Jesus Christ.

With that, Ashley says goodbye to West. And quickly. Don’t you think he deserved a walk out? That was rude. Watching him in the limo was tough… I hope he finds love… Or at least gets a shot at making out with all of the girls on Bachelor Pad 2.

So, what’d you think of this week’s episode? A little boring, right? Is Ryan making you vomit in your mouth a little bit too? Are we still all aboard the JP train? Leave some comments!

Bachelor Pad 2 Cast Revealed!

2011-06-13T11:23:00.003-04:00

Happy Monday! The new cast for Bachelor Pad 2 has been released as of this morning! It feels like Christmas morning. An interesting cast... Jake & Vienna, Michael Stag & Holly... And some really boring choices as well. Below is the entire press release announcing the new crew, courtesy of EW.com.

Who are your immediate favorites? Are you dying to see the Jake and Vienna showdown Part 2? Who are your guesses for the Mystery Men? I'll guess that two of them are Drunk Ass Tim and Masked Jeff.

JAKE PAVELKA AND VIENNA GIRARDI REUNITE

FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE THEIR PRIMETIME SHOWDOWN

ON SEASON TWO OF ABC’S HOT SUMMER SERIES, “BACHELOR PAD,”

PREMIERING MONDAY, AUGUST 8

Eighteen Former Participants from “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” Come Together Under One Roof Competing for Half A Million Dollars and a Second Chance at Love

Hosted by Chris Harrison (“The Bachelor,” “The Bachelorette”), “Bachelor Pad” returns MONDAY, AUGUST 8 (8:00-10:00 p.m., ET) with its most controversial cast to date as 18 unforgettable characters from the “Bachelor” franchise – those we love and those we love to hate – gather back at the mansion to live together and compete for $250,000 and possibly a second chance at love. The infamous wrestler, Justin “Rated R” Rego, Gia Allemand, who’s fresh from a breakup with Wes, and Kasey Kahl, who once professed his love for former Bachelorette Ali by getting a tattoo on his wrist are just some of “Bachelor’s” best joining Jake Pavelka, a former Bachelor, and his jilted ex-fiancé, Vienna Girardi. With so many elements at play to raise the stakes — Vienna and Kasey are currently dating, there is recent bad blood between Gia and Vienna, a friendship has developed between Jake and Gia, and so much more – season two is set to bring fireworks, drama, romance and endless possibilities.

Each week the contestants will square off in head-to-head challenges to compete for immunity and the opportunity to go on a date with contestants of their choice. The winner of each challenge will then grant immunity to one of his or her dates via the presentation of a rose. At the end of each episode, the contestants will vote amongst themselves – the men will vote off a woman and vice versa – to determine which cast members will be eliminated from the competition.

The 18 contestants set to lay it all on the line for love and/or money are:

The Women

GIA ALLEMAND (“The Bachelor” Season 14, Jake Pavelka)

After falling for Wes (Jillian’s season) on last season’s “Bachelor Pad,” Gia returns to the pad to face Vienna who’s rumored to have come between her and Wes. She’ll be thankful to have an ally in Jake whom she’s formed a friendship with.

Occupation: Model Age: 26 Residence: New York, NY

HOLLY DURST (“The Bachelor” Season 12, Matt Grant)

Holly was engaged to fellow “Bachelor Pad” season 2 contestant, Michael Stagliano, until she broke off the engagement only to realize she’d made a mistake. Just days after the break-up, she ran back to Michael, but it was too late; he could no longer trust her. Now living in the pad together, Holly’s ready for a rebound.

Occupation: Children’s Book Author Age: 28 Residence: Hollywood, CA

VIENNA GIRARDI (“The Bachelor” Season 14, Jake Pavelka)

Now dating Kasey (Ali’s season), Vienna has since moved on from her messy break-up with Jake and their infamous post-breakup TV face-off. Not only will she have to face Jake again in the pad, but she must also confront Gia (Jake’s season) about their recent history.

Occupation: Unemployed Age: 25 Residence: Los Angeles

JACKIE GORDON (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack)

Jackie is the girl next door who’s not afraid to speak her mind. She’s ready for love and will get along well with the guys, but will watch her back when it comes to Michelle Money whom she doesn’t trust.

Occupation: Assistant Teacher Age: 27 Residence: New York, NY

MICHELLE MONEY (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack)

Michelle may be known as the manipulative seductress from Brad’s season, but the men won’t mind sharing the pad with her.

Occupation: Hairstylist Age: 30 Residence: Salt Lake City, UT

ELLA NOLAN (“The Bachelor” Season 14, Jake Pavelka)

Single mom Ella is still quite upset with Jake for sending her home during a 2 on 1 date. Engaged to be wed, she comes to the pad having called off her wedding.

Occupation: Hairstylist Age: 31 Residence: Nashville, TN

ERICA ROSE (“The Bachelor” Season 9, Lorenzo Borghese)

Erica’s outspokenness proved to be a turn-off for Lorenzo, but whether she’s in it for love or money, Erica will do anything! With friends Vienna and Kasey by her side, she might just get what she wants.

Occupation: Student Age: 28 Residence: Houston, TX

MELISSA SCHREIBER (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack)

Referred to as “the cougar” by her fellow cast mates from season 15, Melissa is also known for her heated argument with Raichel (Brad’s season).

Occupation: Waitress Age: 32 Residence: Boca Raton, FL

ALLI TRAVIS (“The Bachelor” Season 15, Brad Womack)

After telling Brad she had trouble picturing herself marrying her previous boyfriend, Brad reflected on his relationship with Alli and told her he felt the same way about her. Shortly thereafter, she was dismissed.

Occupation: Buyer Age: 25 Residence: Columbus, OH

The Men

GRAHAM BUNN (“The Bachelorette” Season 4, DeAnna Pappas)

Graham is known as the hot heartbreaker from DeAnna’s season who didn’t reciprocate her feelings for him.

Occupation: Entrepreneur Age: 32 Residence: New York, NY

KIRK DEWINDT (“The Bachelorette” Season 6, Ali Fedotowski)

Kirk’s dad, a taxidermist, gave Ali a tour of his basement to show off his work. Shortly thereafter, he was dismissed. Kirk joins the pad with friend and ally, Kasey (Ali’s season).

Occupation: Personal Trainer Age: 27 Residence: Minneapolis, MN

KASEY KAHL (“The Bachelorette” Season 6, Ali Fedotowski)

Kasey is known for getting a tattoo on his wrist to signify to Ali how he’ll “guard and protect” her heart. These days, his affection belongs to fellow contestant and girlfriend, Vienna (Jake’s season). There may be eight other guys he’ll have to contend with, but only one guy he must best – Jake.

Occupation: Entrepreneur/Philanthropist Age: 27 Residence: Clovis, CA

JAKE PAVELKA (“The Bachelor” Season 14)

Jake returns to the site of his infamous post-breakup face-off with Vienna and will see her for the first time since their heated exchange. But this time, Vienna’s new man, Kasey (Ali’s season), will be by her side.

Occupation: Pilot Age: 33 Residence: Los Angeles, CA

JUSTIN “RATED-R” REGO (“The Bachelorette” Season 6, Ali Fedotowski)

Justin walked off Ali’s season when she confronted him about the voice messages he’d left for his girlfriend back home.

Occupation: Sales Age: 27 Residence: Toronto, Canada

MICHAEL STAGLIANO (“The Bachelorette” Season 5, Jillian Harris)

The wounds from his break-up with ex-fiancé and fellow “Bachelor Pad” contestant, Holly Durst, are still fresh. Michael must not only contend with 17 other contestants, but he also faces the prospects of Holly dating other guys.

Occupation: Entrepreneur Age: 27 Residence: Sherman Oaks, CA

MYSTERY MAN #1 (“The Bachelorette” Season 7, Ashley Hebert)

MYSTERY MAN #2 (“The Bachelorette” Season 7, Ashley Hebert)

MYSTERY MAN #3 (“The Bachelorette” Season 7, Ashley Hebert)

Peace out Bentley!

2011-06-07T09:10:00.005-04:00

I walked away from last night’s train wreck feeling bad for so many people.

Ashley – Because she has to watch herself claiming to be in love with someone after knowing them for a hot second, and realizing that he is a giant asshole.
Jeff – Just because. How could you not feel bad for him?
William – Although he got a rose, there is no chance that Ashley is going to end up with him after he made her cry and crushed her self confidence to smithereens.
JP – He got shafted with that post-Bentley date.
And lastly… Bentley… Bentley who will not get laid for a very, very long time. And will go down in history as the biggest piece of shit in Bachelor/ette history. Congrats!

Last night’s episode started off with Bency (Yes, that’s Ben C. combined – Thanks to Ashley Spivey for the abbreviation) receiving a date card – Love strikes in a flash! This already sounds perfect for our mushy gushy friend Bency. We’ve already learned that he wants a fairytale romance and loves love. Even though this date is right up Bency’s alley, I can’t help but wish Ashley gave Bentley this one-on-one. Imagine how uncomfortable, unenthusiastic, and obnoxious Bentley would have been! Maybe Ashley would have seen what a douche he was a little sooner.

Time for the flash mob! Luckily, Ashley gives us a full description of what a flash mob is… And in case you missed it, Wikipedia says that a flash mob is a group of people who assemble suddenly in a public place, perform an unusual and sometimes seemingly pointless act for a brief time, then disperse, often for the purposes of entertainment and/or satire. You could also describe this as the stupidest date ever. Or was that the fake wedding last week? Get it together, ABC. Watching Bency dance and sing to “girls around me they be acting like they drunk” is quite comical and I give him a lot of credit for his enthusiasm. I’m going to take a wild guess that Bency jams out on the regular to “Like a G6” on his iPod.

Later that night, Bency and Ashley have a nice rooftop dinner. Before dinner, Bency stole Ames’ Yale uniform and chugged a few red bulls. He is rip-roaring through this dinner! Could he have spoken any faster? I actually got concerned that my TV might have been on fast forward. Poor Bency… He wants to live in a love bubble and thinks love is a fairytale. He should probably get a job at Disney and find Cinderella, because that shit doesn’t happen in real life. The date was nice, but c’mon, no sparkles.

Before the group date starts, Jeff is ready for the big reveal. Cue the funeral music! The mask comes off… “Hi, I’m Jeff.” AWKWARD. This moment was such a letdown. I was really hoping that Jeff had developed a gruesome post-mask rash on his face, or at least a serious tan line, but no. Nothing.

Time for the roast of Ashley! I wish Jeffrey Ross just performed the whole time, because the guys were painful to watch. Ames had serious odgeda because he has no idea how to be funny. They did not teach this in prep school. He lets us know that he’s the furthest thing from a comedian. Yes, we know Ames. You seem like the most uptight, stick in your ass person to ever grace this show. Good luck! On the other hand, William is ready to bring his A game! This should be interesting.

Okay, maybe I’m wrong, or maybe I’m a hard ass, but I didn’t think William’s roast was THAT BAD. The whole point of the night was to roast Ashley, and everyone else avoided that and beat around the bush. She shouldn’t have agreed to be roasted if she couldn’t handle it. Hasn’t she watched one of these before? You need a tough skin sister!

This date turns super uncomfortable and Bad News Bentley strikes again. All of the guys try to make Ashley feel better. Masked Jeff even talks about his three legged dog. Quite uplifting! Ryan makes out with Ashley. And thank god, that gains him a rose. I really thought she was giving it to Bentley.

The next day, Bentley decides to leave. Apparently Ashley is an ugly duckling and he’s over it. If she’s an ugly duckling, I don’t even want to imagine what he’d call me. Masked Jeff is very concerned about Bentley leaving… How cute is Masked Jeff! Maybe him and Bentley could date.

Ashley knows that Bentley is THE ONE, so this is going to be hard on her. How in the world could he be THE ONE? They haven’t even gone on one date. Bentley’s exit is completely manipulative. He turns the entire thing around and breaks her little heart. He’s a total pig. He leaves and Ashley breaks down. All I can focus on is how unfortunate looking her bed linens are. They remind me of something we’d see on The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

All I’m hoping is that Ashley is back to normal for her date with JP. Nope! Although I loved the pajama party, JP really got the short end of the stick. And how did JP know to bring pajamas? Maybe he brought them just in case Ashley asked him to sleepover… Smart cookie! All I wish is that Ashley would stop talking about Bentley, William and the other nerds and enjoy JP. I also wish that we got to see more of this date because JP is clearly my favorite. Ugh! At least he got a rose and won in the kissing department.

Ashley calls off the rose ceremony because she is emotionally drained. Thank god, because I left my sunglasses in the car and her outfit is blinding me. Overkill. You do not need accessories with that dress, let alone an 800 lb. jeweled necklace.

No surprises at the rose ceremony, although I would have sent Ames home solely based on his decision to wear that shirt. And I feel weirdly bad for Masked Jeff and hope he finds love somewhere. I can’t believe he burned his mask… That would have brought it a lot of cash on Ebay.

Okay, so what’d you think of this CRAZY DRAMATIC MUCH ANTICIPATED episode? Are you still on Team William? Or have we all jumped onto the JP Train? Leave some comments!

You'd rather swim in pee?!

2011-05-31T09:16:00.000-04:00

Going into Week 2 of The Bachelorette, the overall feedback that I received was Team William and Team Ryan P. After last night, my guess is that we’re going to have a few people with a change of heart. We barely even saw Ryan, except for a few quick shots of him and his frosted tips.

Chris Harrison showed up at the mansion, armed with the first one on one date card. I love when we first get to see the guys dressed down. Suits are nice, but I like to see who dresses like a complete tool when just lounging around the house. Unfortunately, no one stood out as offensive to me. With no surprise, the first one on one date went to William. Moments later, Ashley shows up in a sweet ride to pick him up for their trip to Vegas. I have to say, Ashley is looking phenomenal. Although I hated that little white dress (Something I might have worn to my 8^th grade graduation), she rocked it.

Ames and I are clearly on the same page. We were both very concerned about Jeff’s mask. Isn’t he sweating? It’s so hot out! Why not a white mask? Or something thinner? Perhaps cotton? I wonder if he’ll get tan lines. Kudos to Ames for bringing up my concerns.

William and Ashley arrive in Vegas to photographs being taken of them left and right. Of course the first tourist we see taking a picture of them is Asian. Stereotypical, ABC. Nice work! They begin one of the weirdest dates in Bachelor/ette history – a fake wedding. C’mon ABC! Are you really out of great date ideas after 20 + seasons?

This was awkward and weird. It really helped showcase how timid William is. I don’t see him ever wearing the pants in this relationship. Don’t take that the wrong way… Not talking about literal pants here. William is super nervous about marrying Ashley. 3 days is way too soon! 6 weeks… Not so much. But 3 days, yes. Did anyone else notice the tears in his eyes when they were fake marrying? The kid was literally scared shitless.

Next up, they get into the rowboat for their dinner and William asks Ashley to row. Of course… I bet that was a real turn on. Then one of them mentioned that millions of tourists come to Vegas to see the Bellagio fountain lightshow. No. That is not true. Millions of tourists go to Vegas to get wasted and make bad decisions. Sometimes they stumble upon the fountain lightshow… That’s all.

Dinner is nice. William talks about how he brings communication to people rather than saving lives and Ashley pretends that she’s impressed by his career. They share Daddy Issues. Rose. The end.

The group date card arrives and my first observation is that besides Masked Jeff, a really solid group of four guys aren’t on this group date. My best guess is that she’s confident in Mickey, JP, Ryan and Ben C, so she is first going to weed out the losers.

The group date begins in Vegas and Ashley is dressed up as a pin-up girl. Immediately when I saw the Jabbawockeez dancing I thought, “How rude! A date with masks and Jeff wasn’t invited?!” I guess things could have gotten complicated. Would he have worn his mask? Theirs? Both? Maybe it’s better that he wasn’t invited.

I really don’t like this date. Ashley starts it off with a creepy little dance. Then the guys split into two teams. Bentley is being a bully. West, Stephen and Ben C. are stepping up their games. And Ames is rocking an intense shade of self tanner on his face. I honestly didn’t pay attention to anyone’s dance moves because I was too focused watching Ashley and her stomach. How do I get one of those?

That evening, even after West opens up to Ashley and wears his heart on his sleeve, Douchebag Bentley gets the rose. Maybe it was his nasty comment about tickling, or his blatant lack of interest in Ashley… Who knows. Either way, Ashley begged him to stick around. #pathetic

Ashley has JP and Mickey flip a coin for the final one on one date. I was really hoping that JP won… He may be my current favorite. Mickey wins and since the date is a few hours away in Vegas, he uses extra hair gel to make sure it holds up during the trip. These two decide to act like 5 year olds and flip a coin way too many times. I’m starting to get irritated. Mickey asks Ashley when she cried last… It’s been quite some time. Am I the only person that cries weekly? No worries! That will soon change because we all know that Bentley will make her cry on next week’s episode.

Ashley and Mickey have a nice date. I like Mickey, but I need a little more “umph” from him. I’m not seeing enough expression. I’d also like to steal his hair gel, but that’s more of a superficial problem. I didn’t expect the emotional story angle from Mickey, but we also learn that he’s an only child and his mom passed away 6 years ago. He gets a rose. I’m happy with this. Mickey seems like a decent guy. Much less douchetastic than I expected.

JP kicks off the rose ceremony by stealing Ashley, since he’s determined to get some alone time with her. Love his game with flipping the coin for a kiss! Although, that’s kind of Ashley and Mickey’s game. They may have trademarked it. Hopefully Mickey doesn’t find out.

William pulls the “stealing time when you already have a rose” move, which is always guaranteed to piss everyone off. He also continues to brag about their Bellagio date. William is losing seriously credibility in my book.

Bentley expresses that he would rather SWIM IN PEE that plan a wedding with Ashley. Ew. Ew. What is wrong with you? Who says things like that? Swim in pee? How about jump off a bridge? Or die? Swim in pee? Ew. I’m sure Ashley is cringing while she watches this episode back.

Not many surprises at the rose ceremony, except for Masked Jeff. Really?! He still hasn’t even shown you his face. This is getting weird.

So, two weeks down, who are your favorites? Do you want to jump through the television and punch Bentley? Leave some comments!

Bachelorette Premiere!

2011-05-24T09:54:00.003-04:00

Yesterday felt like Christmas Eve. I’ve never hated Dancing with the Stars as much as I did last night. Pushing off The Bachelorette until 9pm – How dare they! Finally, 9pm rolled around and it was just like Christmas morning. As usual, we kicked off the new season looking back at Ashley’s journey on The Bachelor and the heartbreak she suffered after Brad Womack sent her packing. Then we were given the opportunity to take a look into Ashley’s daily routines in Philadelphia – running with hoop earrings on, teaching a suggestive dance class, long stares into the distant sunset – the usual. All the stuff I do on a daily basis!

My initial thoughts on Ashley – She looks good. She obviously hit the gym hardcore after finding out about the show. Not that she wasn’t in shape before, but c’mon, her body is now out of control. She has really taken to the crop-top trend, so we’ll be seeing a lot of her 6pack this season I assume. Also, ABC also gave her some new eyebrows… Those were not the brows she had last season.

My favorite part of Night 1 is the first look at Ashley’s suitors, mostly because I can compare my first impression on TV to the first impressions I made a few weeks ago when the photos were released online - http://jensrealityobsession.blogspot.com/2011/05/bachelorette-contestants.html. Many of my original opinions still stand – I liked Ryan P, Ben F, Ben C, William, etc. A few of them… I’ll eat my words.

A few thoughts on the introduction packages:

Ryan P – Seems like a great catch and almost perfect… until you made that Taylor Swift style heart with your hands into the sun. I nearly lost my dinner.
JP – I was pleasantly surprised! When I saw his bio on ABC.com, I thought he was going to be white rice, but he seems like a winner. Keeping my eye on him!
Ames – I have some mixed feelings on him. He seems very well rounded… athletic, world traveler, successful, smart, but also seems a bit stuffy. I’m hoping he lets loose.
Ben C – He seems like a huge cheeseball and in love with love. Hoping that doesn’t ruin everything for him because he was also funny.
Bentley – He sucks. We all know this. I’m already sick of him. I also think he seems like a huge weirdo… He started a family fun center. Sounds a little bit like a pedophile, no? He also named his daughter Cozy. I hate him.
William – Adorable… But he did have minor signs of man boobs, so we’ll have to keep an eye on that.

Chris Harrison and Ashley sit down for their one on one time and Ashley talks about all of the regret she has from not opening up to Brad on The Bachelor. She also never imagined she’d be back in the house. Right… I bet she was just as surprised to be the Bachelorette as America was to hear that – SOMEONE ISN’T HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS! Already!

Limo Time! Out of all of the 25 entrances, these stood out to me:

Lucas – You seem like a serial killer.
Mickey – Going in for the kiss… bold moves. Mickey is a huge let down. He was built up to be this GQ studmuffin before the season started and I have to say, disappointing.
Stephen – Ashley loves his hair. I hate his hair.
Anthony – I was pulling for the Jersey kid, but he couldn’t have been any more awkward and nervous. There is no hope for a rose.
Ames – Nice move with the ballet tickets, but if Ashley doesn’t pick you, can she take someone else? He looks like he walked straight off Harvard’s campus and onto the Bachelorette.
Jeff – I hate your mask.
Ben F – Brings his wine and tells Ashley that he’s brushed his teeth eight times that day… I think I love Ben F.
Ryan M – Seemed nice and normal until he started asking Ashley if she’d take a picture of him with Chris Harrison later on… get a grip.
Bentley – Ashley hoped that Bentley wouldn’t be drop dead gorgeous and nice. Well, you’re in luck! He’s far from gorgeous and a giant asshole. I’ll bet you keep him around regardless…

The cocktail party isn’t very exciting. Other than Tim getting schwasted and passing out, nothing stood out. Yes, there were some cute moments – Ben C using cue cards, That guy whose name I can’t remember throwing the guitar in the pool – But no jaw droppers.

Tim is a total creeper. My favorite moment was when he told Ashley he sells wines and spirits and Ashley thought he sold won and spurs. Not only is Tim sleeping, but he’s using Ashley’s fur coat as a blanket! She sends him packing and says that she can identify with wasted opportunities. No pun intended! The guys are much nicer to him than I’d expect. I guess it’s one less person to compete with. But I must say, Tim getting sent home that fast was a wasted opportunity in my book. Why would no one think to play a good prank on him? Put his hand in warm water, honey and feathers, get out a Sharpie… C’mon! Weren’t any of these guys in a fraternity? Lame.

In my opinion, no one is a real standout for the 1st Impression Rose. A bunch of frontrunners but I don’t see one that stands out the most. It goes to Ryan P. and I’m okay with that.

Not too many shockers at the rose ceremony – We knew that Jeff in the Mask and Bentley would get roses. You can’t get rid of good television on Night 1. I was a little sad to see Anthony the Butcher go home… He was so nice in his exit interview!

Okay, so what’d you think? Who are your immediate favorites? Do you think she’ll keep Bentley around for way too long? Looking forward to a great season of blogging! Leave some comments!

The Bachelorette Contestants!

2011-05-03T16:18:00.007-04:00

It’s finally May! And that means one thing – We’re so much closer to the premiere of The Bachelorette. Today, ABC announced the official cast and posted their photos, along with an entertaining Q & A from each contestant. Realit y Stev e has been releasing this information for a month, so I’ve been able to preview some of the gentlemen, but now we have their official headshots. Thank goodness!

For the full photos/Q&A - click here.

My assessments of the guys have nothing to do with how far they get this season or any spoilers that I’ve already seen. This is purely based on their photo and answers. Let’s break them down. Shall we?

My immediate takeaways:

Ames

A little weird looking, no?

He’s a banker from New York and works out with a trainer 6 days a week. He’s obviously loaded.

Anthony

I knew immediately that he was from New Jersey. Unfortunate.

Anthony is a butcher. I really hope he gets a hometown date.

Ben C.

Seems nice! He admits to having love handles. So do I. Unfortunately for him, Ashley doesn’t, so their romance might not work out.

Ben F.

Winemaker! Immediate favorite of mine. He must be cool.

Bentley

Facially, I like Bentley. What’s up with the shirt though? Maybe he farms?

Q: Describe your idea of the ultimate date? A: Visiting a new place with great views and a great temperature. *This sounds dirty.

Blake

He’s a dentist, so that was obviously set up.

When asked who he’d like to be for a day, Blake said Tiger Woods because he would like to be the best at something, and have unlimited funds for a day. Basically, Blake is a man slut.

Blake kind of reminds me of Kirk from Ali’s season.

Chris D.

Boring

Chris M.

What is the age limit for this show again? Chris M. looks like he’s 15.

He also thinks that he’ll be retired in 5 years, living on the beach. Yes, that’s likely.

Oh crap. I just read that Chris admires his mom the most because she had to raise two kids in a grain elevator with no money. Now I feel like a bad person.

Constantine

Constantine thought Brad was still going to be The Bachelor. He has a poodle, talks about his mom’s Thanksgiving dinner, and dressed up as Bruno for Halloween.

Frank

I think Frank and Constantine may end up finding love on this show – together. Frank has 2 Chihuahuas (Pierre and Sweet Georgia Brown!!) and from the looks of his unbuttoned shirt…. Oy.

Jeff

Likes wine and puppies. Big points.

Jon

From a first glance, he seems like a contender.

Then he continues to talk about how much he worships Arnold Schwarzenegger and considers himself blunt, loud, and opinionative. He’s going to be a huge douchebag.

White rice. He won’t make it past Night 1.

Lucas

He’s way too buttoned up. He mentions spending time at his country club and talks about being a Conservative Republican. Hello, Jake Pavelka!

Matt

Besides getting his Bachelor of Science in Turf Grass Management, Matt seems decent.

Michael

The wildest thing that Michael’s ever done is gone streaking. Let me guess… It was up the quad and through the gymnasium?

Mickey

I wish his name wasn’t Mickey. He’s a Chef. He’s from New York. I don’t hate him!

Nick

Nick seems like a good ol’ boy from Florida. He loves his cowboy boots and was drafted into the MLB.

I have a feeling Nick is going to lack any substance to go along with those pearly whites.

Rob

Rob looks realllllly happy.

Ryan M.

Seems relatively normal.

Ryan P.

He built what is now one of the largest solar electricity companies in the U.S. – definitely loaded.

Stephen

I was just about to comment on how unfortunate Stephen’s haircut is. Then I noticed that he’s a hairdresser. Ironic!

Tim

Tim, you’re a liquor distributor. I suggest you start drinking heavily right now because when you see how awful your picture is… you will need that alcohol.

Tim also tried out for Elf on Broadway.

West

West seemed really boring and uninteresting until I read that he’d bring pizza, Mila Kunis, and a volleyball with him to a deserted island. Now I kind of respect him.

William

Not bad! I’m hoping because William claims he’d like to be doing stand-up comedy in five years that he’s at least funny.

Any Survivor fans out there? He looks like Marcus.

Okay, so what do you think? Who are your early favorites? Who looks like the biggest creeper? Leave me some feedback!

Brad chooses Emily!

2011-03-15T09:02:00.003-04:00

Well it’s over… What a season! What a journey! I’m going to try to keep this as short as possible. The episode kicked off in Capetown with Brad overlooking the ocean, pondering life and rockin’ a pair of man-pris. His family arrives and he screams for them to hurry up! Come up here! Then he cries. Such a pansy. Someone call the therapist.

Chantal arrives and I have a feeling that Mrs. Womack is going to like her – they both wear leopard! Chantal explains to his family that she knew she loved Brad after a lot of wine and going back to his hotel room. But they only talked! She also says that she thinks being with Brad in a hotel room in Costa Rica with free wine and food and cameras is the real world. No. The real world is slaving over the stove with the kids screaming and the dog pooping on the floor while Brad slugs a beer and watches football. Try that for real world.

All in all, great family date for Chantal. I think she did a good job.

Emily shows up with flowers – automatic points. She also got her hair dyed for the date. Super yellow! Without fail, Brad’s family asks about Little Ricki’s dad – Hmm… I wonder if the producers staged that. Everytime Emily tells her story, it’s just as sad to hear.

Brad and his brothers talk and they warn him that having a child isn’t fun and it’s hard work. Man, after the episode, I’m re-thinking kids. Brad loves that she’s a lady. It makes him not want to be a pig.

Emily is not as cuddly around Brads mom but she made her cry. 10 points. Emily leaves and it’s time to see what the Womacks think! His family thinks Chantal and Brad would date. Emily and Brad would jump head first into a life. Family chooses Emily.

Time for the much previewed shark date. Why would you make Chantal do this again? Make Emily try this. Cleavage suit! The puns are beginning to drive me nuts. “Test out the water before getting married.” Cheese. Later that night, Chantal gives Brad a message in a bottle. I almost forgot about the kindergarten craft projects. Brad calls Chantal Channy and I’m reminded of Channy from Jake’s season who spoke about her landing strip… good times!

Time for Emily’s last chance date! Too bad that Emily forgot her pants. Brad tells Emily multiples times how much his family loved her. AKA more than Channy. Emily spends their time together trying to scare Brad about how tough kids are. Can’t scare Brad – He asks to be Little Ricki’s father. Um, this is basically a proposal. The night continues and Emily is telling him again how un-fun being a parent is. Are you trying to lose? This is the worst last date ever. Brad thinks that he was knocked down and defeated. How dramatic of him.

The next morning, Brad looks out over the ocean and thinks. Topless. Emily wakes up with her hair and makeup done. Chantal does too. And she wears a sports bra. I call BS. I do not look like that when I wake up.

Neil Lane shows up and kind of looks like Brad’s therapist. The ring screamed Emily.

Time to crush Chantal’s hopes and dreams. Both girls look stunning I think. I miss the days when I didn’t know who was going to win. I used to get so excited to see who got out of the limo first. Chantal had to know it was going downhill when Brad started talking. He wasn’t the same. Brad wipes tears from her lips. I’d slap his hand off. She’s heartbroken. This is sad. She laid it all out there. I really really liked Chantal.

Brad says that he has a heavy heart about Chantal. But he sure isn’t pulling a Jason Mesnick. Doesn’t seem SO heavy to me.

Brad proposes to Emily like we all expected. Cue the crying. And the hugging. And the Neil Lane product placement. The end! Now they can live happily ever after! Or so we thought.

AFTR!

Chantal looks fabulous! And I was really impressed that she gave him a piece of her mind. She was definitely right that he was discounting their relationship. Obviously Brad was scared of Emily backstage. I’m sure Chantal’s new boyfriend didn’t appreciate this little sob session either.

Brad tells us that he is engaged to Emily. But he can’t speak for her. An engagement is mutual. How can Brad say that he can't speak for Emily? Ridiculous! Emily looks great. Glad that someone fixed her hair.

We’re made to think that Brad and Emily having issues 6 weeks into their engagement is crazy. This isn’t that shocking! You haven’t dated in public! Not that crazy! They also seem surprised that watching the show back was brutal. No kidding.

Emily pokes the bear. TMI. She also feels like a dime a dozen watching the show. You were on the Bachelor with 24 other girls. You’re lucky to be a dime a dozen.

Time for Couples Intervention 101! Molly and Jason are my favorite of these three therapy couples. She looks better than ever! Ryan and Trista are cool, but I don’t even think there were tabloids 7 years ago, so the advice is kind of irrelevant.

Well, that ends another crazy and dramatic season of The Bachelor. Thank you to all of the loyal readers who check out my blog weekly. Looking forward to the next season!

Women Tell Nothing!

2011-03-08T16:39:00.001-05:00

I never enjoy this episode. All we do is re-live the season, hear how crazy one contestant is, and how everyone wants closure. Womp womp…

One thing that stuck out to me this episode was Chantal’s sweat marks on Night 1. How did I not notice that sooner? Honestly, the best part of last night’s episode was the Bachelor Reunion footage. I’m officially amped for Bachelor Pad 2. That show is all drama. Basically, the reunion was a competition on who would be the craziest and let loose enough to get cast for BP2. It’s obvious that the people who had a lot of face time are going to be on the show. Vienna was hooking up with Wes, Kasey was hooking up with Erica… Now Vienna and Kasey are boyfriend and girlfriend. What a show!

Back to the women! Everyone looks fabulous and the fashion is really on point. I can’t say I love Ashley’s new look though. It’s a little over the top and too much for me. I think she went one whitening and spray tan shade too far.

The Rachel and Melissa drama is just as boring and annoying as it was a few weeks ago. They’re not even core members of the cast. Enough already! The Michelle saga is much more entertaining. Stacey the bartender thinks it’s a good idea to rip Michelle a new one. I may be Team Michelle. Yes, I said it. I kind of like her. She’s nutty and sarcastic… But she’s fun. And she might be a fabulous actress, but I felt bad for her.

I think people like Stacey and Jackie were just vying for some camera time and needed to run their mouths to get a word in. And whoever that blonde chick on the top left was. No one even knows you… Shh!

I still love Ashley S. She looks beautiful, awesome dress and just a cutie. I have to say that I’d enjoy her as the Bachelorette. She is genuine. Unfortunately, her BFF Ashley H. will take on that role instead. One good thing that came from Ashley H.’s makeover is that her eyebrows are fixed. Thank god.

Ashley H.’s interview was a complete prep session to announce her as the next Bachelorette. I mean c’mon – She loved Brad, didn’t use her time wisely and open up, but now is ready to date and find love! Puh-lease.

Wondering why we didn’t hear from Shawntel at all? She did give Brad a look of death when he walked on to the stage. No pun intended.

Brad was super happy during his time in the hot seat. I don’t think we’ve seen him this happy all season. And then we get to see some bloopers and who knew! Brad is fun! And he laughs!

Well, this episode was as exciting as watching paint dry. See you on Monday!