I'm Not the Nanny

Doing the Funky Chicken on Funky Barn 3D (Review)

2012-05-30T23:07:00.002-04:00

I'm a roll this week with video games. This time I've been playing Ubisoft's Funky Barn 3D for the Nintendo 3DS console. First I tried to pawn the game off on my husband, but he'd rather play sports and action games. Once I pried the Nintendo 3DS out of his grubby hands, I started my own farm.

Farmer Kim's Cajun Farm. Sounds a bit hilly billy but I did grow up in rural Louisiana. I started my farm with chickens. Those chickens were demanding too. They wanted a water and food trough. Then they had the nerve to ask for a fence, some plants and a chicken coop! I think chickens are the gateway farm animals. After I raised my little chicks into hens and sold their eggs, I wanted more farm animals.

After I got the hang of raising chickens, the Funky Barn stork brought me some sheep. Well, a little lamb, but they grew up to be big, fluffy sheep. By then, my daughter joined in on my farming shenanigans. She got a kick out of our sheep shearing. We bought a Shear-O-Matic to help out. We dropped our cute little sheep into the machine to do all the work for us. Once the little sheep was naked, the Shear-)-Matic spit it out. Sophia giggled every time.

Here she is collecting apples from our tree. Very intense work!

Together we worked on our farm: collecting eggs, shaking apples off the tree, and shearing sheep. Now we have cows! The cute little cows get fat when they need to be milked. Sophia and I are having a good time with Cajun Farm. Just be careful you get your chickens what they need or else, well, let's just say may Silkie the chicken rest in peace.

As you can see, Sophia and I have become invested in our little farm. She's already asked when we can play together again.

I did find the game's interface awkward at first. You use the bottom touchpad to move around but all the action happens in the top screen. So your touch screen looks kid of like a view from a night vision camera. Once I got the hang of it, it was really fun. I'd rather have a bigger view of my farm on both screens than this interface though.Since Sophia is under 7, we only played the game in 2D. Nintendo recommends the 3D setting for ages 7 and up. Funky Barn 3D is for the Nintendo 3DS system and retails for $30.

Thank you to Ubisoft for sponsoring this blog post. Please click here to learn more about Ubisoft. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions are my own. #UbiChamps

Speaking Vietnamese at the Bus Stop

2012-05-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Don't tell my mom, but I've been really bad about speaking Vietnamese to the kids recently. That's why I'm sending them to stay with my parents for a few weeks this summer. The best kind of language immersion. And it's free. Lately, I've been speaking a combo of Vietnamese and English to the kids.

Last week, while Jaxson and I waited at the bus stop for his sister to get home from school, I said something to him about strawberries. In Vietnamese. A few minutes later, one of the teenage boys sitting near us asked if we were Vietnamese. I'm always surprised when people correctly identify my ethnic background. I've been mistaken for Chinese most.

After I confirmed it, he flashed a smile and declared, "I'm Vietnamese too." He overheard me talking to my toddler. Yes, he spoke Vietnamese too.

Shocked wouldn't be the right word to describe my reaction. More like happily surprised. This teen had dark brown skin and black hair with tight, tiny curls. At first glance, he looked African American to me. I'm not sure if he had been at the bus stop before, but it was the first time I noticed him. This teenager was proud of his heritage and wasn't afraid to ask about ours. He seem liked a good kid: polite and well adjusted.

My brief interaction with him made me smile on the inside. It made me hopeful for my kids' future. I want more dark skinned kids walking around speaking Vietnamese. I want them to surprise the people around them so others will rethink their assumptions about skin color.

Just by being who they are, this teenage boy and my kids are changing the status quo.

Photo by ckphotography via Creative Commons

Horse Haven: My Virtual Horse Ranch (Review)

2012-05-28T20:09:00.002-04:00

As a little girl, I wanted a house full of pets. My mother, on the other hand, vetoed every indoor pet except fish. That's because they were my dad's fish. My sister and I owned pet gerbils and hamsters, even a dog. I never dreamed about owning a horse. My 6 year old dreams of horses and unicorns. She draws them frequently, in many variations of pink.

While we can't create a pink horse or a unicorn, my daughter and I have been raising our own horses in the Facebook game Horse Haven. In Ubisoft's game, we raise and breed our cute virtual ponies. When they're old enough, we can even visit other towns and compete. My horse Rosie needs to eat, drink, and be groomed. See my cute little horse family above?

Like most games I've played on Facebook, Horse Haven is pretty easy to play. The first time I played the game, a tutorial walked me through basic steps like feeding and caring for the horses. I learned how to buy a carrot patch so I could feed my horses treats. Once Rosie was old enough, I was able to breed her. Now Sophia has her own little foal, Llavendar (don't ask). Besides taking care of my horses, I can improve my ranch by clearing trees and weeds and adding different buildings like additional stables or a riding pen.

That's the gist of the Horse Haven. It doesn't require a lot of thinking to care for the horses. When the horses are thirsty, I just lead them to the water trough. The reverse side of the game's ease is that it can become repetitive. Those horses are demanding! I should be happy that I don't have to clean up horse manure. The game does offer quests such as building a compost bin or clearing 10 trees off your ranch. Because this is a Facebook game, you're encouraged to invite your friends to play so you gift items to each other.

I'm not fond of Facebook games that want me to invite my friends to join me. I guess I'm missing the point of Facebook games, since it's a social networking site. However if my friends are already playing, then I don't mind adding them. I haven't added any friends to Horse Haven yet, and I'm enjoying the game on its own.

Edited to add: Now that I've added some friends to my game, it's even more fun. I can request help and build more things! It's nice to visit their ranch and see their horses too.

Since my daughter loves her virtual horses, I foresee some mommy daughter time playing Horse Haven. It's perfect for us to play during her little brother's naps. Not too complicated but still plenty to do with our ranch.

Thank you to Ubisoft for sponsoring this blog post. Please click here to learn more about Ubisoft. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective. All opinions are my own. #UbiChamps

Screenshots are from my own ranch, Applecheeks.

Remembering To Leave the Convention Hall

2012-05-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

Look! I made a point to leave the Venetian, where the Asian American Marketing Summit was held, and get some sunlight. Oh and some sun. Here's a fountain that was somewhere in front of the Venetian. I was being a bad tourist and didn't pay too much attention.

The skies were beautiful during my trip there! I didn't even mind the heat so much since there was so little humidity.

Instead of Work-Life Balance, Find Your Rhythm

2012-05-22T10:03:00.000-04:00

Photo by DigitalNative via Creative Commons

It’s no secret I’m a night owl. I’m usually up past midnight. I know it’s late when my west coast friends show up in my Twitter feed. I look forward to each evening, when the kids are finally snoring, limbs askew in bed and while my husband is in transit home. This time is just for me. There’s no kid asking me to pour them another glass of milk or read the same book for the fifth time that day.

Either I grab my favorite diet soda or pour a steaming cup of coffee from my French press before heading to my desk. It’s time to work. I tweet with friends. I blog. I write book reviews. My husband makes it home and we spend a bit of time together while he eats dinner. Then more tweeting, emails, and blogging.

Working from home, in the wee hours of the night, allows me to stay home with my kids. My husband does breakfast and school bus in the morning so I get to sleep in until 8AM. Then my day starts again.

My non-blogging friends, upon hearing what I do, comment, “How do you get it all done?”

It’s easy. I don’t sleep, is my usual joke. My toddler is going to wake up several times a night, so why not make my sleep deprivation useful, right? I do sneak in a 20 minute nap with Jaxson sometimes.

I might not get enough sleep, but my work makes me happy. I enjoy what I do. I’m not perfect at balancing all aspects of work and family (see my vacation from motherhood post). I truly don’t believe work-life balance exists. We can’t each aspect of our lives equal attention all the time. I know I can’t. I do know that if I can’t just be Mom. I have to be me. In order to be me, I have to pursue my dreams and goals.

Photo by dicktay2000 via Creative Commons

About a month ago, I read an interview with Marissa Meyer, VP at Google, about work-life balance. Like me, she eschews work-life balance. To avoid burnout, we must find our rhythm and keep resentment at bay. Her belief is when we resent our work, we cannot do our best. Everyone has that one thing that they must have in order to be happy and we must protect it. Something that makes the other sacrifices worth it.

I think this is true in not just my work, but my family time. Recently it's been making Saturdays family time. I only do Passion Parties scheduled for after bedtime and usually no more than twice a month. I'm up late Sunday through Thursday but I mostly unplug the rest of the week. I might check my emails over the weekend but don't answer them. When I check my Facebook or Twitter feed, it's to socialize and not work.

My social media work really makes me happy. I love my work. Not everyone is luckily enough to love their work. So instead of stressing over the elusive work-life balance, I'm focusing on what keeps me going. My family time is sacred. Friday nights on the couch with my husband watching television or bad natural disaster movies.

It's still a struggle find and stick to my rhythm. I have help from my partner in crime: my husband. With a toddler, as soon as we settle into a routine, he changes it. Or when I travel for work. Next month I'll be gone for 5 days for Book Expo America. Every Sunday I look at my calendar and plan out my work week. Then go with the flow.

Thank goodness for coffee. And appletinis.

This post is inspired by the novel Julia's Child by Sarah Pinneo. Worried about what her kids eat, Julia Bailey starts a prepared organic toddler meals business. With names like Gentil Lentil, can Julia balance work and family and still save the world?

Join From Left to Write on May 24 as we discussJulia's Child. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes. This post contains affiliate links.

Asian Mom Bloggers

2012-05-21T09:30:00.000-04:00

Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking at the 2012 Annual Asian Marketing Summit organized by the Asian American Advertising Federation (3AF). Along with my fellow panelists, we spoke to a room full of marketing professionals about how mom bloggers wield a wide circle of influence and should not be ignored. My fellow panelists included Stefania Pomponi Butler of Clever Girls Collective, Kathy Choi-Lee of Koko Living, and Grace Hwang Lynch of Hapa Mama. Part of me is still in shock that I was invited to speak among them.

I usually attend blogging conferences so it was fascinating to see Asian Americans from a marketing perspective. First of all, marketers love statistics and numbers. Second is that the blogging world (and social media) is still new for many people. The audience was fascinated by what we had to say, but are still unsure how to utilize the power of mom bloggers in their marketing campaigns.

It was very empowering to sit in a room of mostly Asian-Americans and hear about our buying power. Edwin Wong of Yahoo gave talk breaking down trends among Asian Americans that I found very interesting. I also realized that I resembled his statistics! One point he made was commercials which depict Asian Americans doing "normal" things resonate with us. He was spot on.

Just the morning of the conference I mentioned how much I love the Target commercials that depict Asians doing everyday days. A sense of normalcy, as Edwin Wong put it.

Grace and I roomed together and we really hit it off. We got upgraded to a huge suite at the Venetian that we barely used because we were so busy. It was kind of a shame I didn't get to take a soak in the huge bath tub! We also go to hang out with the conference organizers. They were very down to earth and made us feel very welcome.

We did get a chance to sneak out by the rooftop pool at the Venetian. We didn't stay very long as it was a toasty 100F degrees that day in Las Vegas. At least I got a little sun and a mini-vacation from motherhood.

3AF provided me with a stipend and conference registration as a speaker. Additional expenses as well as jet lag were all on me. All opinions are my own.

Getting Ready for Summer: Beyond Coastal Natural Sunscreen Review & Giveaway

2012-05-20T23:28:00.000-04:00

Once DC weather warms up, there's no lack of family friendly activities around here. Yesterday, the kids and I headed to the Gaithersburg Book Festival. It was gorgeous outside: sunny, not too hot and maybe a slight breeze. It was the perfect day to try out Beyond Coastal Kids Natural Sunscreen since the festival was outdoors.

Prior to receiving their products to test out for this review, I've never heard of Beyond Coastal. The company offers several lines of natural sunscreen including non-mineral which goes on clear and the more traditional mineral based which uses zinc oxide and titanium dioxide. The Natural Kids SPF 30 is mineral based and offers UVA/UVB protection. Even better, the EWG (Environmental Working Group) has given this Kids Natural Sunscreen a rating of 2 (0=Best to 10=avoid).

I'm glad to have found a natural sunscreen for the kids, but how well does it work? Since my kids are young, 6 and 2, I applied the sunscreen on them. They "helped" but I made sure I did it to cover all the exposed areas. First I noticed that the kids sunscreen didn't have the unpleasant odor that most others do. In fact it didn't have much of a scent, something important for my sensitive nose.

The sunscreen was very thick, which felt good in my hands, but made it very hard to fully rub it in. It dried rather quickly and left a white film on the kids' skin. Maybe if my kids were lighter skinned like me, it wouldn't have been so obvious. After rubbing in the sunscreen for a few minutes, I gave up. My kids' skin just looked ashy. I looked like the Asian mom who forgot to lotion her mixed babies. I also used it myself and felt like it left a powdery reside on my skin.

I was excited about finding a safe sunscreen to use on my kids, but was very disappointed in it. Beyond Coastal Kids Natural Sunscreen protect both my kids and me. We spent over 3 hours out in the sun and didn't get sunburned. The kids didn't like that it left white streaks on their skin and really hated that I kept rubbing harder to get the sunscreen to apply more smoothly. Maybe it will work better on lighter skinned folks.

GIVEAWAY: Want to try Beyond Coastal's products for yourself? They have offered an exclusive kit for one of you! It includes everything listed in the photo above.

To enter, leave a comment with your family's favorite fun in the sun activity.

Giveaway ends May 27, 2012 at midnight Eastern time. Winner will be contacted by email and must respond within 48 hours or another winner will be chosen. Giveaway is open to US residents 18 years and older. I'm Not the Nanny is not responsible for lost or late packages. I received samples of the product for review. All opinions are my own.

Giveaway Round-Up

2012-05-17T20:28:00.000-04:00

While I'm in Vegas for the Asian Marketing Summit, don't forget to enter the various giveaways I have going on. I'm giving away some good stuff! One is for DC and Maryland readers, but there's a giveaway for all US residents too.

4 Tickets Beauty and the Beast musical tickets at the National Theatre. Ends 5/27

Beyond Coastal Natural Sunscreen Kit Ends 5/27

Stonyfield YoKids Greek Yogurt coupon pack. Ends 5/19

Your chances are really good for all of them. Go enter and I'll be back soon!

I Need a Vacation From Motherhood

2012-05-15T08:30:00.000-04:00

That's what I told my husband a last week. I've been thinking it for days, but I felt guilty uttering those words. "I need a vacation from motherhood." I knew that Sophia and my husband had been covertly planning my Mother's Day, which we celebrated on Friday since hubby had to work all weekend. Yeah, the mom guilt loves thoughts like that.

There must be a defense mechanism that makes mothers forget how crazy the toddler years are. I keep asking my husband if I felt this exasperated when Sophia was Jaxson's age. The answer is, of course, yes. That's what I get for having kids 4 years apart I guess. I forget.

Just give me a moment while I have a teeny pity party. Teeny. Sometimes I can handle the piles of dirty (and clean) laundry. The dirty dishes. Packing lunch each school day. Figuring what to feed everyone for dinner. That's what moms (and dads) do. I get that.

You know what drives me crazy? All the I wants. Demanding little buggers, my kids are. My daughter is old enough to filter some of it out or ask politely but we're still working on it for the toddler. After the I wants and I needs, there's the touching and clinging. When Jaxson doesn't want to sit on my lap, pull at my blouse (even though we stopped nursing back in December) or headbutt me for the sheer joy of it; then Sophia needs her turn to be cuddled, read to, or simply be near me. When the kids are finally in bed and I get my quiet time. Next comes the cat, nudging my hand over her head for a rub.

For a person who doesn't like a lot of touching or affecting, it's making me crazy. As I write this, the mom guilt is stabbing tiny holes in my heart, yelling at me. Then I also feel guilty because I'm all tapped out and don't even want to a peck on the lips when my husband comes home from work. Feeling crazy makes me less patient with the kids. I yell more. I hate yelling at them.

Okay, pity party done. Mommy guilt, not so much.

I've been trying to figure out why I feel I feel this way. I think it's because I'm not getting enough adult interaction. With only one day a week for family time, I chose to cut back on the frequency of my Passion Parties. It works out because I've been doing more social media work and my book club is going strong. Sure, I worked during my Passion Parties, but I also met 10-15 new people at every party. Working from home fits into my night owl (and kids sleeping) schedule, but it can be isolating. Chatting with friends on Twitter and Facebook isn't the same as face to face interaction.

I'm going to figure out how to keep myself sane. An old friend called me a few weeks ago and we met at the park with our toddlers. When our eldest children started school, our schedules didn't mesh well and we lost touch. Hanging out with her revived me. Not the mother or wife in me, but me as a person. We might have talked about our kids, but we talked about our aspirations. She ~~wants~~ needs more time for her creativity, so she signed up for a photography class. She takes yoga every Tuesdays and Thursdays.

She might not have realized it, but she's given me motivation to find something for myself that's not kids or work. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm going to figure it out. I think I got a good start with a night out thanks to my friend Jessica of A Parent in Spring. She and Treat took us out for dinner as we chatted about an easy way to send out greeting cards and 50 Shades of Grey.

I still think all moms need a vacation from motherhood once in a while. Have you ever felt this way?

photo via unsure shot

Jessica invited me out to dinner to learn about Treat, but I was not obligated to post about Treat or their services. In addition to dinner, I was gifted with credits which I used to send my mother and mother-in-law. Which was good timing because I totally forgot to buy cards for them. With Treat, I just designed them and they even mailed them for me. Disaster averted!

Mr. Potato Head Comes to Port Discovery w. Ticket Giveaway

2012-05-13T23:57:00.000-04:00

The first Mr. Potato Head was just parts of the face. Sophia thinks it's hilarious that kids had to supply their own (real) potato. Now there's Mr. Potato Head, Mrs. Potato Head and family. We have a collection of the Potato Head family that the kids love turning into themselves. Now you can channel your inner child and play too at Port Discovery's new exhibit.

Opening this Saturday, May 19, The Adventures of MR. POTATO HEAD will take you and your kids on fun and educational adventures. The hands-on exhibit is designed to develop school readiness and academic skills

for young children by focusing on literacy, problem solving, mathematics, science and social

studies. The best part, your kids won't even realize they're learning!

Here are some things they can do while they're at Port Discovery:

SPUD SAFARI: Roam the jungle with Mr. Potato Head and venture into a cave to search for mysterious object, discover the sounds of a jungle or play with special lenses and cameras to see the world through jungle animals.
SPUD QUEST: Visit an archaeological dig in search of the statue of King Tato where kids will need to decipher “tatoglyphs” and solve mazes to find the statue’s secret cache.
SPACE S.P.U.D. (Space Potatoes United for Discovery) Join Commander MR. POTATO HEAD aboard the S.P.U.D. space station, where they’ll learn about repair and maintenance to the station.

The Adventures of MR. POTATO HEAD exhibit is free with admission to Port Disovery. Museum admission is $13.95 for ages 2 and up. Children under 2 and members are free. You can purchase tickets at the door or in advance. Port Discovery is located at 35 Market Place, Baltimore, MD 21202.

Port Discovery has offered a Family 4-pack of tickets to a special exclusive members preview of the Mr. Potato Head exhibit on either Saturday, May 19 OR Sunday, May 20! This means you'll have the chance to enter Port Discovery before it opens to the public: starting at 9AM on Saturday and 11AM on Sunday. Light breakfast will be served as well.

To enter, leave a comment telling about your favorite childhood toy and which date you want to go to Port Discovery: May 19 or May 20.

For an additional entry, share the giveaway on Facebook or Twitter and leave the link for it. (1 entry for each).

P.S. Don't forget to enter my giveaway for tickets to Beauty and the Beast musical at the National Theatre!

Giveaway ends May 17, 2012 at 12:00PM EST. Winner will be notified by email and must respond by 6PM EST May 17 or another winner will be drawn. Tickets will be left at Will Call for the winner. Additional tickets may be purchased by the winner. I received tickets to Port Discovery, but all opinions are my own.

She's Not A Tiger Mom, My Mother

2012-05-08T20:45:00.001-04:00

Thank you to Tout for sponsoring this post and encouraging me to share mom’s best advice! Visit the SELF + The Honest Co. + Tout contest on.self.com/MomKnows to share the best advice you received from your mom and enter to win $500 worth of The Honest Company product and a Maya Brenner Designs necklace valued at $200, in addition to having their Tout featured on SELF.com. Additionally, for every response a donation will be made to Baby2Baby.

Mother's Day is only a few days away and I've barely put any thought into it. I told hubby and Sophia they were in charge of plans for my Mother's Day celebration. All I ask for is a visit to FroZenYo. A reasonable request, right?

Now it's getting close to the date and I realized that I have no idea what to do for my mom. She lives in Louisiana so ideally I should have planned her gift last week. My relationship with my mom was very tumultuous until I became a mother myself. After I gave birth to Sophia, my mother talked to me differently. Finally, she spoke to me and treated me like an adult.

Just because she treated me as an adult didn't mean she stopped dispensing advice and criticism. Thanks to my thicker adult skin and the wonders of long distance phone calls, her criticism is much easier to ignore. Like all mothers, my mom always has advice for everything, especially when it comes to teaching my kids the Vietnamese language.

Photo by epSo.de via Flickr

Three years ago, the tone of my mom's weekly advice phone call changed. It wasn't her usual this is how you should raise the kids advice. Her voice was much gentler and more quiet than usual (Asian moms are loud talkers). At the time, I was in my first trimester of pregnancy with my toddler Jaxson.

Kim, my mother started, you need to take care of yourself. Don't work so hard.

This came from my mom who dropped out of high school because it was too hard for her to learn English as a 16 year old Vietnamese immigrant. My mom who, for over 20 years, slaved over industrial sewing machines altering fur coats for rich Louisiana women. After that, she learned how to give manicures and pedicures while her clients gossiped over her head. She worked hard to provide for us. Now she's retired. Her job is shopping for her grand kids and rearranging her home decor. She loves it.

So why did she tell me that?

The day before she gave me that bit of advice, my cousin by marriage, who coincidentally is named Kim, suddenly passed away. Only three days after she gave birth to her third child. She left the hospital with her newborn son a happy healthy mom. Three days later she started vomiting and couldn't stop. Her husband brought her to the emergency room and she died shortly after. It all happened so fast. No one knew how or why.

Kim and I went to kindergarten together. She pushed me down and called me fat. As an adult, she married my cousin. We were both born the same year. My cousin Kim was one of the first people in my family who stood up for me when I started dating my husband. She was healthy until the day she wasn't. Kim worked hard, but also knew how to have fun.

My mother worries about me, my husband, and the kids. We live far away and Skype is how she gets to visit with her grand kids. We're lucky if we get to visit them once a year. Growing up, I never felt that I did anything right, or not enough to make her proud of me.

Hearing those words three years ago made me realize that she's incredibly proud of me. It's her way of telling me that I'm a great mother and I'm raising amazing kids. When I'm staying up too late working or saying yes to to many things, somehow she knows. Don't work so hard, my mom reminds me.

Thanks, Mẹ. Con thương Mẹ .

Thank you again to Tout for sponsoring my post. Visit on.self.com/MomKnows to share the best advice you received from your mom. Fans and readers can reply directly via webcams at www.Tout.com, through Tout’s mobile application, on www.Facebook.com/TheHonestCompany andwww.Self.com/health/mothers-day in addition to other promotional sites. Viewers can watch the entire stream of replies on the Tout widget on http://www.self.com and share their favorites to their Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest pages, as well as by email and SMS.

Escaping Asian Expectations

2012-05-08T03:00:00.003-04:00

Photo by Sterlic via Flickry

Like most Asian parents, my mother and father expected me to work hard and get straight As. My focus was supposed to be on my education and become a lawyer/doctor/engineer. That meant no boys, no phone calls, and definitely no dating. They wanted a better life for me. As immigrants, my parents worked hard to give my sister and me shelter, food, and a good education. Things we take for granted. Things they didn't take for granted back in Vietnam.

In high school, I really didn't know if I wanted to be a lawyer or a doctor or an engineer. I excelled equally well in all of my classes. I also loved my speech and drama class. As the eldest sibling, I've been raised to be practical. My dream was to become an actress, but I needed a fall back plan in college. You know, just in case I didn't become rich and famous or get the lead in Miss Saigon. My first two years in college I double majored in theatre and computer systems.

I didn't tell my parents about my focus on theatre. For all they knew, I was toiling away in the computer lab, pecking out computer programs. You see, as the eldest, I wasn't afforded the luxury of passion or whimsy. The expectation was that I would pursue a well-paid white collar career that would make my parents and our extended family proud. I loved my courses in computer programming (ok, except for all the databases), but hated the business courses that accompanied the computer systems major.

My doodles

I discovered my creativity. My passion in designing and construction costumes for our plays and musicals. I learned that I am an artist. But I couldn't tell my parents that. I wasn't supposed to be the artistic one. My sister was. Her talent was discovered early, in elementary school. We each had our boxes. Mine was a good sensible career that would allow me to take care of my parents in their old age. My sister, I think she lucked out. Artists get so much leeway, because, you know they're artists.

The box my parents put me in felt small, suffocating, much like Atara's character in I Am Forbidden by Anouk Markovits, our book club selection for From Left to Write. Atara's path was chosen for the moment she was born a girl. I wanted to be able to choose my own path. As the first person in our extended family to graduate college, the pressure to ~~succeed~~ excel was always present. This is why our family left their homeland to come to a country where they could only work as laborers. For their future generations. For me.

Thankfully, my family isn't as strict as Atara's Hasidic family. I pushed on the walls in my box, looking for a weak spot. Expanding and escaping that box took a lot of trial and error. Lots of arguments and tears from both sides.

As my parents grow older (and wiser), they've relaxed quite a bit. I'm not a doctor or a lawyer or even a computer genius. I work from home. I stay home with the kids and teach them about their Vietnamese heritage and a bit of our language. Staying home wasn't even an option for either of my parents. They might not tell me they're proud of me, but I can hear it in my mom's voice as she teases me and worries about me. My father is a man of little words, but I can feel his love radiate. He speaks to me with the respect of an adult, not a small child.

I think I did fulfill one of their Vietnamese expectations. I gave them grandchildren. Damn cute ones too.

This post is inspired by I AM FORBIDDEN by Anouk Markovits. Though not sisters by blood but through their Hasidic faith, Mila and Atara views the rules and structure of their culture differently. Mila seeks comfort in the Torah while Atara searches for answers in secular literature she is forbidden to read. Ultimately each must make an irrevocable decision that will change their lives forever. Join From Left to Write on May 8 as we discuss I AM FORBIDDEN.

As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes. This post contains affiliate links.

We're Choosing to Play!

2012-05-07T08:00:00.000-04:00

I cannot keep up with our temperamental DC weather. One day I'm pulling out my sweater and another day I'm sporting a tank top. Still it's not snow, so I shouldn't complain. Our family has been taking advantage of the mild (and now warm) weather. We've added walks around the park to our weekly outings.

Our park has a path around a pond with ducks, geese, and this time of the year, cute goslings. The one mile path is marked for runners and walkers. Around the path are stops are equipment for people to do stretches or something. There's instructions next to the equipment but I'm too busy trying to keep up with the kids to read them.

The kids loved this section with wooden posts of different heights. It was perfect for climbing. Hubby got in on the action too. We posed for some fun photos. It took a ton of shots, but I love the one I got of hubby. We all had fun jumping off the posts for photos. It looks like I'm kicking Sophia in the head, but don't worry, she's just hanging out near me. After our family walk around the pond and jumping off wooden posts, we all decided that we should go on more walks. I think our visits to the park is a good way for the entire family to get some exercise.

Remember back in February when I did the Wii Fit Challenge? Having friends to work out with made it easy to stay motivated. I even worked out by myself! Then I got the plague, ok, maybe it was the flu, and was stuck in bed for three days. My working out mojo went out the window. Now it's May and I have no regular work out schedule.

This May, along with my family, we're going to Choose Play as our form of exercise. Did you know that fun physical activity like playing kickball or hula hooping is a good form of exercise too? (Admittedly, I'm much better at hula hooping on Wii Fit.) By doing something fun, we'll stay more motivated to get out and move.

Join me in American Cancer Society's challenge to Choose Play this May. ACS wants encourage women (and our family) to "get playing" and log their acts of play. Will you join in and help log 100,000 acts of play? I think our family is off to a great start. Since we took these photos, we've been back to the park at least once a week.

How will you choose to play?

I received a Choose Play kit with a jump rope, beach ball and other goodies to help our family play. All opinions are my own.

Disney's Beauty and the Beast Musical Returns to DC (w. Giveaway)

2012-05-01T11:58:00.000-04:00

I have a weak spot for show tunes. That's no surprise considering my background in theatre. I've constructed costumes for dramas, comedies and other straight plays. Musical theatre is always a crowd pleaser and I've worked on numerous shows. Something about the memorable songs, the flashy costumes, and the big dance numbers always put a smile on my face.

Disney's Beauty and the Beast is coming to the National Theatre this June, and I'm looking forward to the songs, the dancing, and of course the happy ending. The story of Disney's Beauty and the Beast is a classic in our household. The musical is based off the Disney animated movie, but has additional songs with music Alan Menken and lyrics by Tim Rice. I have friends who have worked backstage for NETworks Presentations, the production company, and the shows blew me away. (During the summer after sophomore year in college, I almost took a job touring on one of their shows, but silly me decided it would be better to finish college first. I think I made the right choice.)

Beauty and the Beast will only be at the National Theatre for two weeks, June 12 through June 24. Why am I telling you this now? Because tickets are now on sale via Telecharge. You'll have to wait until May 21 to buy them at the National Theatre's Box Office. Tickets start at $56.50 plus service charges. If you want to see it, I recommend you buy them early so you can get some good seats.

Giveaway: Here's your chance to "Be My Guest" because I'm giving away a family 4 pack of tickets to see Disney's Beauty and the Beast on opening night, June 12 at 7:30PM!

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment telling me your favorite musical or song from a musical.

For extra entries, do any of the following and leave a comment for each one:

Tweet about the giveaway: I entered to win tix to the Beauty and the Beast musical from @thienkim and you can too! http://bit.ly/IHCP5g (1 entry)
Subscribe to my blog, I'm Not the Nanny, via RSS feed and leave a comment letting me know you did. (1 entry)
Share this giveaway on Facebook. (If you want you can like I'm Not the Nanny on Facebook but it's not mandatory) (1 entry)

Giveaway ends May 27, 2012 at midnight Eastern time. Winner will be contacted by email and must respond within 48 hours or another winner will be chosen. Tickets are only valid for the June 12, 7:30PM performance and cannot be exchanged for another performance. I will be receiving tickets to the show's press night. All opinions and love for show tunes are my own.

A Weekend of Science (and Celebrities)

2012-04-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

Look! I got *this* close to Mayim Bialik. Ok, maybe there were about 200 people between me and her, but I have a really good zoom on my camera. The crowd was HUGE. It was standing room only. I don't think she expected to have such a big audience at a science and engineering festival. In fact, she likened the crowd to ComiCon.

Dr. Bialik spoke about how she decided to study science. The cool thing is that science was hard for her in college. She mentions that her humanities minor helped keep her GPA up. She has a PhD in neuroscience from UCLA. I felt a bit old when she recalled her career in Blossom and how the show came on after Fresh Prince of Bel Air with a young Will Smith. (Feel old now?) She also has a new book out, Beyond the Sling where she shares her views on attachment parenting.

Speaking of authors, Sophia was thrilled to discover that Jenny Offill was speaking and signing her book 11 Science Experiments that Failed. We just picked up 17 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do Anymore from the library. It's just as funny and clever as 11 Science Experiments that Failed. We also found out that Jenny Offill is working on a new book! She was great to meet in person and was great with all the kids in the room. (If you missed our review of the book, take a peek.)

We tried to check out another celebrity, Bill Nye the Science guy. We were not close to him at all. In fact, hubby and I put both kids on our shoulders so they could see him. It was late afternoon by then and I think we were all tired and hungry. It was fun to say that we say him live.

Jaxson had his own science fun too. The first booth we hit was the PBS Kids area. He saw the sign from across the convention hall. He's constantly begging to play with my iPad, so he grabbed the VINCI II tablet from the Sid the Science Kid booth and started playing it.

Right before we called it quits, we found the University of Delaware's booth. They programmed this Mater ride on toy for kids just like my little guy. All Jaxson had to do was push the big bright yellow button to accelerate and turn it to steer. I think he would have made a great getaway if the gal from the booth hadn't followed him.

It was a busy day, but we had so much fun with so many different aspects of science. There was even a entire aisle devoted to science for girls! More on that soon.

Psst, if you want to see some maggot art, head over to my craft blog, Cup of Creativi-Tea.

What did you do this weekend?

Talking Black Princesses with Felicia Curry of Imagination Stage's Rapunzel

2012-04-27T07:30:00.000-04:00

It seems apt for me to write about Imagination Stage's Rapunzel during National Princess Week (which was completely made up for marketing purposes, thanks to Target). We all know the classic Brothers Grimm version of Rapunzel. Taken away as a baby from her birth parents, she is imprisoned in a tower and raised by a mean witch. Later, a prince wandering by the tower attempts to rescue her, blah, blah, blah then happily ever after. Imagination Stage's retelling is will keep you on your toes.

The book and lyrics are written by David Crane and Marta Kauffman (of Friends sitcom fame) and it shows. The songs are clever and funny. In the hands of director Kathryn Chase Bryer, Imagination Stage's version of Rapunzel takes a slightly different point of view. Bryer sees this classic fairy tale as an opportunity to share the challenges parents (the witch) face as their child (Rapunzel) grow older and become more independent. Yes, the witch may seem mean during her first number, but deep down, she just wants to be loved.

The highlight of the performance for our family was Felicia Curry, who plays Rapunzel. We last saw her in Adventure Theatre's Mirandy and Brother Wind. Only weeks ago, Sophia asked me why there weren't more stories of dark skinned princesses, you know, like she is. Learning that Curry, who is African American, is playing Rapunzel was perfect timing. Curry did an amazing job playing a strong and loving Rapunzel. In fact, all four actors did an amazing job. Kudos to Michael John Casey who played so many different characters (including a cow), I lost count!

Sophia could not take her eyes off the stage in the entire show and her eyes sparkled as she applauded wildly at the end of the show. She gave it two thumbs up!

Felicia Curry was kind enough to answer some interview questions that Sophia and I posed to her.

Sophia: Have you ever seen a story of Rapunzel with brown skin?

Felicia: I can honestly say that before working on this show, I had never seen the story of Rapunzel told with a woman of color playing the damsel in the tower. However, Imagination Stage has brought to life for me and their audiences the history of this story, which has striking similarities to a 10th century AD Persian tale, as well as modern interpretations, including Rachel Isadora’s version of the fairytale set in Africa.

Sophia: What is your favorite part about playing Rapunzel?

Felicia: I love being able to play a character who wants nothing more than to meet new people and learn about the world. I enjoy the fact that, much like a child, she believes in the goodness of people and more than anything in the world, she wants to make her mother proud and happy because of how much she loves her. She is a pretty incredible young woman, and I am honored to bring her to life.

I'm Not the Nanny: You’re a very experienced actress and have been in many productions. Did you expect to become a role model for girls of color? How has being a role model affected the roles you take on and how you play your characters?

Felicia: I never expected to be a role model, but I do remember how important it was to me as a child to see women who looked like me doing the things I wanted to do. I take great pride in the fact that I can now be that woman for girls of color in the DC area. It’s interesting that you ask the question about how being a role model affects my decision to take a part because I decided to take on this role specifically because I wanted to encourage young girls of color that not all princesses have blonde hair and green eyes. I try to always play the characters as honestly and true the writer and director’s vision as possible, of course adding a little ‘Felicia’ to the equation. This show has been a treat because I believe Rapunzel has the inquisitive nature, bravery and spunky attitude I think I possessed as a child.

I'm Not the Nanny: Who are your role models?

Felicia: I am huge fan of strong women who work hard. My mother is my everyday example. Since I was a child, she has reminded me that I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to and that dreams, with hard work, do come true. As for acting influences, I try to learn as much as I can from everyone I work with but one of my first and lasting role models is Phylicia Rashad. I love her ability to connect to fellow actors, draw in an audience and bring honesty to every character she plays.

I'm Not the Nanny: In this version of Rapunzel, she loved her mother very much even though her mother is a witch. That’s an aspect of their relationship I’ve never seen in a Rapunzel story. Was this a choice you made as a actress? Do you think the witch loved Rapunzel as well?

Felicia: We had several discussions during the rehearsal process about the relationship between Rapunzel and the Witch and the story we wanted to tell. We all agreed that one of the main points of this story is the parent/child relationship and how it changes as children get older. There is no question in our telling that the Witch loves Rapunzel very much (she bakes her a cake!) and would do anything to keep her safe and happy. What I love about our story is that both the Witch and Rapunzel learn that growing up, as scary as it seems, is incredibly exciting and allows the parent/child relationship to blossom into something even more special, a friendship.

I'm Not the Nanny: How did you know you wanted to be an actress?

Felicia: This is going to sound cliche, but I have known I wanted to be a performer all my life. My parents have often told the story that when I was about 4 years old I saw an ad in the paper for auditions for the Wizard of Oz at a local theater company and I immediately asked them to take me there so I could be in the show. I have been singing and performing since then and I honestly can’t imagine doing anything else. I am so thankful to Imagination and the DC theater community for embracing me and allowing me to live my dream.

Sophia: What kind of advice would you give to kids who want to be on stage?

Felicia: I would first encourage them to get involved in programs and classes, like the ones offered at Imagination Stage, in order to learn and practice the skills necessary for this art. I would remind them that just like school and sports, performing takes lots of hard work but don’t be afraid to act a little silly sometimes!

I'm Not the Nanny: What is your dream acting role? Besides Rapunzel, of course?

Felicia: Rapunzel is definitely a role I never imagined I would play and it is my reminder that being a woman of color in no way limits what roles I can play. I would have to say that my dream role right now is Celie in The Color Purple. I am a huge fan of both the book and the movie, and it would be a dream come true and an exciting challenge to bring this character to life.

Big thanks to Felicia for taking time out of her busy schedule to answer our questions!

Imagination Stage's Rapunzel runs until May 26, 2012, but don't wait to see the show! Appropriate for ages 4 and up, tickets are $10 to $22, and may be purchased online, at the Imagination Stage box office, or via phone at 301-280-1660. Group rates are available. Imagination stage is located at 4908 Auburn Avenue, Bethesda, MD.

Our family received tickets to the show in order to review it. However, we'd happily pay for our kids to experience live theatre. All opinions are 100% mine and Sophia's. No compensation was received for this post.

Photos courtesy of Imagination Stage.

The Great Big Book of Families Shows We're Alike But Different

2012-04-26T01:40:00.000-04:00

Less you get tired of me saying how much I love my library, I'll cut to the chase. Well, one story at least. I've taught Sophia that libraries are a great resource to learn about whatever she wants. Now, Jaxson is learning that he can ask the librarian to find books on any subject he likes. It's so cute!

Ok, back to my recent discovery from our library's children's section. As soon as I spotted The Great Big Book of Families by Mary Hoffman, I knew we had to take it home. Mary Hoffman's books are well loved by my princess loving daughter. In fact, Princess Grace was one of the first book we read together that touched on non-traditional princesses. As in the dark skinned, dark hair kind.

Reading The Great Big Book of Families reminded me of Richard Scarry books. In addition to the words on the page, the illustrations tell many different stories too. Every time I read the book the kids, I see something new in the drawings.

At first I was drawn to the illustrations on the cover. Families of all skin colors and combinations of skin colors graced its cover. The Great Big Book of Families was more comprehensive than I thought it would be. The first spread, as expected, was about families: single parents, grandparents raising their grandkids, families with two moms or dads and families with adopted children.

The pages about Jobs featured a family work situation both Sophia and I could identify with: working from home.

We had a good giggle about how her brother gets into my things in my "office" aka our breakfast nook. This book isn't about being politically correct. It's about showing the real world. The jobs page also mentions families who could not find jobs.

I recommend that every family (or teacher) read The Great Big Book of Families with their kids. It's a fun way to start a conversation about differences among families. The book covers the different types of homes families live in, different clothes they wear, even different types of schooling. It was great to see homeschooling mentioned because of Sophia's good friends is home schooled.

Sophia and I have plenty of conversations about each person (and family) is unique and we should be proud of our differences. Now that she's in school, other kids often ask her, "THAT's your mom?" or "You don't look like your mom/dad." Because my husband and I started the conversation about our differences when Sophia was young, she's very confident and proud of who she is.

Get the book and share it with others. We need to teach kids (and adults) it's ok to notice others' differences. It's ok to talk about them. If we make it taboo to talk about race, jobs (or lack of work), religion, etc, then they will believe something is wrong with a that different point of view.

It's also fun to read. There's some pretty fun and silly illustrations hidden throughout the book.

Meet Sid the Science Kid Plus DVD Giveaway

2012-04-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

This weekend is the US Science & Engineering Festival in DC. Our family attended on a whim last year and since then, I've had 2012 Festival on our calendar for months. That's where Sophia made maggot art last year. Check out the video I made. My only regret last year was that we didn't arrive earlier so we could visit more booths.

This year, we're making a point to visit PBS's Sid the Science Kid booth (#1145). Both Sophia and Jaxson love learning about science through the kid-friendly science songs on Sid the Science Kid show. There will be photo opps with Sid and other PBS Kids characters. My kids hammed it up last year for photos with their favorite characters.

On both days of the festival, Saturday April 28 and Sunday April 29, the Sid the Science Kid booth will have fun activities for kids as well as a live Sid the Science Kid Stage Show. The stage show schedule is

Saturday, April 28th: 10:50am & 12:50pm on the Curie Stage
Sunday, April 29th: 10:00am & 11:50am on the Curie Stage

Don't forget to check out the new VINCI Early Learning Systems which offers exciting and educational content for children 18 months to 5 years on their new table, VINCI Tab II. You can also enter a drawing for Sid the Science Kid prizes.

I've been browsing the US Science & Engineering Festival schedule and I found out that Mayim Bialik will be speaking! I've been a fan of hers since her days on Blossom. Remember the big hat with a flower on it? I haven't told Sophia yet, but her favorite scientist, Bill Nye the Science Guy will be there too. She's going to flip out over all this science-y goodness!

The US Science & Engineering Festival runs April 28-29. Admission is free and no RSVP is required. The festival is indoors this year at the Washington Convention Center. Which is good because DC weather has been weird lately.

GIVEAWAY: Thanks to NCircle Entertainment, I have a copy of Sid's Backyard Campout DVD http://amzn.to/JszKZxto giveaway to one lucky winner. It's not even available for sale until May 15! Sid, Gerald and Sid's Dad go on a big adventure right in their very own backyard as Dad shares his love of nature with the kids. After watching the DVD, Sophia has requested that we go camping. Soon.

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment who your favorite scientist is (real or fictitious).

For an additional entry, subscribe to my blog via RSS feed and leave a comment. If you're already a subscriber, just leave a comment letting me know.

Giveaway ends May 3, 2012 at 9PM Eastern time. Only US addresses are eligible. Winner will be contacted by email and must respond within 48 hours or another winner will be chosen. I'm Not the Nanny is not responsible for items lost or delayed shipping.

I'm a proud member of PBS Kids VIP. Our family is a big PBS Kids fan (and Downton Abbey for me) so I'm happy to keep you updated with the latest PBS Kids news. Our family received a review copy of Sid's Backyard Campout DVD for review. All opinions and gushing over Blossom are entirely my own. Dude, I wanted that hat.

Evernote: My New Memo Pad

2012-04-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been turning to Evernote to jot my grocery lists, blogging ideas, and fun places to go with hubby. I didn't expect to use it as much as much as I have been. You know I love my little notebook and my ink pen, but I don't always have those items with me. Or an grocery item I need comes to me while I'm laying in bed next to Jaxson for nap time.

Evernote is a free note taking app that's available for iOS, Android, Windows Phone, Blackberry and on the web. Evernote is free but you can upgrade for more storage space, etc. I like that my notes sync with the cloud no matter what device I use to update my grocery list.

I used the Evernote app on my smartphone this weekend as I grocery shopped. While I like how easy it is to create "notes," as the app calls it, I wish there was an easy way for me to create checklists or to cross off my grocery items. Maybe there is and I haven't figured it out yet.

I've also been using the Evernote Clipper (that is installed right in my browser) to keep track of websites I want to revisit when I have time. Instead of leaving the tab open for a week and then accidentally closing it, I can pull it up in Evernote. You know you've been guilty of leaving those tabs open. I have a tab right now in my browser that I've been meaning to read for a week.

Have used Evernote? What other apps do you use to take notes?

Photo from Evernote.

Disney's Chimpanzee Inspires Young Nature Lovers

2012-04-20T08:00:00.000-04:00

Our family fell in love with Oscar the moment we met him. With a baby chimpanzee face like his, how could we not? Disneynature's new documentary Chimpanzee follows baby Oscar as his mother teaches him the skills necessary to survive: cracking nuts, making a bed out of tree branches, and grooming. Oscar navigates not just the dynamics of his primate family but the African jungle as well.

My future scientist was enthralled by the up close look at the life of a primate family. Sophia loved the movie. In fact, we recommend that you bring tissues when you so see the movie. I found the views of the African jungle breathtaking. One of my favorite scenes was watching the chimpanzees "fish" for ants with a stick. We learned chimpanzees are masters as using tools, like using a stick to catch ants for a snack or rocks to crack nuts.

Disneynature has partnered with The Jane Goodall Institute to help protect chimpanzee habitats. For every ticket sold during opening week, Disneynature will donate 20 cents to The Jane Goodall Institute for the Disneynature Tchimpounga Nature Reserve Project. Chimpanzee opens today, so take your family out for a great movie and a good cause.

Sophia was so inspired by the movie, we visited our library to learn more about chimpanzees. She was especially interested in Jane Goodall. We have the best librarians at our local library. (Make friends with your children's librarians. They are amazing resources.)

Our librarian selected several books about chimpanzees, but Sophia's favorite is a picture book about Jane Goodall, Me...Jane by Patrick McDonnell. The biography tells how Jane Goodall became interested in nature and animals. The illustrations are beautiful and have a field journal feel to them. I think I've read it to her at least 3 times since Wednesday.

As a parent, I love that we can make this movie a learning experience. Disneynature has provided Chimpanzee resources for parents and teachers: activity books, fun facts and an extensive educator's guide. You can also visit The Jane Goodall Institute to learn about Roots and Shoots, a program to encourage children to a positive change in the world.

What is your favorite animal?

Our family was invited to a press screening of the movie. No compensation was received for writing about the movie. All opinions are my own. This post contains affiliate links.

Don't, Don't, Don't Bite Your Friends

2012-04-18T12:41:00.000-04:00

"I want to bite Sophia!" my toddler yelled the other day. I could see his inner demons fight over his desire to bite his big sister.

Having my kids almost exactly four years apart means I've blocked out all the difficult times during Sophia's terrible twos. My husband and I frequently ask each other, "Was she this rambunctious/loud/bitey/defiant/(insert currently toddler activity here) at this age?" I guess it's probably good that we've blocked it out. We can focus on his biting and hitting and deal with it based on his personality.

Our first instinct was to tell him "No!" or "Don't!" when he bit or hit his sister (or me or his father). Jaxson just gave us his cute devilish look and laughed, as if biting his sister was the most hilarious thing he's ever done.Then bite some more. It was frustrating. I tried frowning and telling him how much it hurt me when he hit or bit. Poor Sophia. She would cry in pain but never retaliated. She loves him too much to hit her brother.

Now I've changed tactics. Modeling myself after Lisa Patricelli's board book No No Yes Yes, I tell him that biting is bad.

"Is biting bad or good?" I ask.

"Bad!" he replies. He's still biting, but I've noticed that sometimes he's able to stop himself even if he really really really wants to bite.

We're also taking lessons from Yo Gabba Gabba too: "Don't, don't, don't bite your friends." (video)

That he gets. Go figure, right?

Photo by contemplative imaging via Flickr

4 Ways to Slow Down and Make Me Time For Busy Moms

2012-04-17T08:00:00.000-04:00

Photo credit

As a busy mom, finding time for yourself is challenging. There never seems to be enough hours in the day for everything on our to-do list, much less finding time to relax and ground ourselves. It's a good night for me when I get more than 4 hours of sleep!

Then there's the guilt of taking time away from your busy schedule to do nothing. When I make time to slow down and do "nothing" I feel rejuvenated, rested even. When I got shingles almost two years ago, I learned that stress can cause a break out. Since then, I've tried to listen when my body tells me it needs to slow down. Shingles is not a fun experience. I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy.

Slowing down and finding a few moments for yourself doesn't have to be hard or time consuming. Here are some of my favorite ways to grab some me time.

Photo credit

Get steamy. When I smell the relaxing scent as my bath salts hit the hot water, my shoulders visibly relax. I know for the next 15-20 minutes is all about me my a book or magazine. When I'm not so busy, I try to take a soak in the tub at least twice a week. When I'm busy, I'm lucky if I can get one or two a month. If you're not a bath person, take a hot shower. Throw in an aromatherapy shower tablet to help you relax.
Ground yourself for 5 minutes. After you make that cup of coffee or tea in the morning, enjoying the process of drinking it. Inhale the scent as wrap your hands around the mug and feel its warmth before you take a sip. Tune out the kids for a few minutes. They'll survive. If you don't drink tea or coffee, do this with a piece of your favorite chocolate or candy. Something that involves as many of your senses as possible.
Play with your kitty. Nope, that's not a euphemism. Ok, you could do that, but I'm talking about your pet. Whether you have a cat, dog, mice, whatever, stroking with your animal friend is relaxing. There have been studies that owning pets are good for your health. My cat Jasmine hops on my lap anytime I sit down. She nudges me until I'm forced to pet her. Once she starts purring, I feel like such a good human owner. The fact that she forces me to sit still for more than 60 seconds gives me time to chill out. I guess that makes my cat the boss of me.
Add some color to your life. Grab some paper and your kids' crayons. Doodle. Don't stress on what you're drawing or scribbling. If your kids are there, let them join you. Let your mood choose your color. If doodling or drawing is too much pressure for you, print out coloring pages or borrow your kids' coloring books. Concentrating on the act of doodling or coloring is like meditating. You'll clear your mind and get a few minutes of zen as you channel your child artist.

Creating rituals are key to me time. Once you do the above items a few times, your body and mind will recognize the signals. You'll start to relax as you're starting.

No matter what, I struggle to find the balance between my family, work, and time for myself. It's a continuous battle, but everything happens in cycles. There will be crazy busy times when I can barely keep my head above water. That means there will be slower times when I can take more time for myself

Remember a happy mom means a happy family! (Borrowed from my friend TeachMama!)

How do you find down time?

Buffy the Vampire and Vibrators

2012-04-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

I try to keep different parts of my life compartmentalized, separate from each other. For the most part, my blogging and social media world is separate from my Passion Parties career. My kids know that I work and do Passion Parties but, obviously, I don't share specific with them. I share a lot about my kids on this blog, but usually don't talk too much about my husband, except for the history of relationship.

Sometimes, the different parts of my life do intersect and in odd ways. I think it's the universe's way of reminding me to stay on my toes. This weekend, I did a Passion Party for a repeat hostess, meaning that she's hosted and attended parties before. I love my hostesses. Even when we've only spoken on the phone until the night of her party. They welcome me, a stranger, into their home and meet their friends. AND talk about sex and sex toys. They even feed me some fabulous food. Some will even send me home with leftovers. I can't complain about this part of my life.

This particular hostess, I'll call her M, regularly has girls night out with her circle of friends. However, they call themselves Geeks. In a good way. This particular party involved a Passion Party and a Buffy the Vampire Slayer sing along. Often, my hostess and her friends invite me for the after party. Usually I don't stay because I'm A) old and tired B)just want to go home and hang out with hubby and C) hubby works on Sundays and the kids wake me up early. The after party always involves cocktails and/or strippers. Believe it or not, after almost 11 years of doing Passion Parties, seeing a strange man rip off his clothes in a room full of screaming women isn't as exciting as it used to be.

The geek in me stayed this Saturday. See, I'm a sort of closet Buffy the Vampire fan. Hubby first introduced me to the television show because he had a thing for Sarah Michelle Gellar (don't tell him I told you that). It turned out to be a pretty awesome tv show. And then the creator, Joss Whedon went and wrote a musical episode, "Once More With Feeling." Dude, my theatre self almost couldn't handle it. After I finished talking about vibrators and such, I stayed and sang my heart out to some Buffy. It was awesome.

After that, I stayed and sang with my gay boyfriend, Neil Patrick Harris in Dr. Horrible. (He's my gay boyfriend, you know.)

I just totally outted (outed?) myself as a geek, didn't I?

It was just really cool to be around a bunch of women who liked sex toys AND Joss Whedon.

What did you do this weekend?

A Backyard of Our Own

2012-04-11T08:00:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite memories growing up in my parents' house is hanging out in the backyard. My bare feet tread through cool patches of clover as dip a toe in each clover patch to find the perfect one. Once I settled on the best section, I lay on my back and watched the clouds in the sky. Sometimes I grabbed a book to read, but mostly I just absorbed the outdoors. The clover felt slightly damp and cool under my back while the sun's rays warmed my body.

This summer my kids are headed to my parents for an extended stay-without me or their dad. Our young mulberry and pear trees are now grown and substantial enough to hold a tree house that my father built with his own hands. There are still clumps and patches of the same clovers with bushy white flowers. I tell Sophia about how those little clovers felt between my toes, so soft and cool. I remember making flower necklaces out of their flowers.

I want a yard of our own. Our entire family does. We're apartment dwellers here in DC metro. The area we live in is slightly suburban so there is green around us. Behind our building is a swing set and a little play set. I take the kids to the park, but it's not in walking distance. I grew up in a small Louisiana town where my parents would just let us roam outside and come home by nightfall.

Sophia and Jaxson are too young for me to let them roam around our apartment complex. Call me paranoid or helicopter parent or whatever, but I don't feel comfortable letting them out of my sight here. Not all the parents in our community feel the same way. I've seen kids as young as 4 or 5 years old running around with older kids. I've seen teens and tweens smoking pot or drinking beers on the swing set behind our building. Odd condom wrappers decorating the ground near the neglected picnic table. Don't get the wrong impression. We don't live in a bad neighborhood. It's just more urban than where I grew up.

So, I drive them to the park. Different parks. It becomes an adventure to find new parks that have bathrooms and not portable toilets. Ones with some shade. Ones with frequented by other kids so my kids have someone to play with. A park that's not to far so Jaxson won't fall asleep on the way there. Parks that are fun. I do it because my kids love, they need to be outside. To smell the fresh air. To play in the dirt (yes, I let them play in the dirt and track in my car.) To poke trees and find bugs living underneath its bark. To run and yell. To learn how to make friends for the short hour we are there.

In the meantime, we dream about the back yard that will come with our dream house. A fence so we can finally get a dog (Sophia's dream). A patio to hang out on with a beer in hand (me and hubby). A sunny patch to grow vegetables (mine and Sophia's). A fun swingset (both kids). A plastic kiddie pool during the hot summers. Hanging up a sheet and inviting friends over for movies in our back yard.

We're lucky we live in an area with so many parks, gardens and nature centers. Many of them are free, thanks to our tax dollars. After reading Up: A Mother and Daughter’s Peakbagging Adventure, I realized that I want to give my kids more nature. More outdoors.

This post was inspired by Up: A Mother and Daughter’s Peakbagging Adventure. Trish Herr's then five year old daughter Alex wanted to hike all 48 of New Hampshire's 4,000+ foot mountains. Would you let your five year old do the same? Join From Left to Write on April 12 as we discuss Up: A Mother and Daughter’s Peakbagging Adventure. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.

Spoken Word Artist Bao Phi: Vietnamese Phở Ever

2012-04-10T10:19:00.000-04:00

I've been hearing the name Bao Phi on the internets quite a bit recently, so I finally remembered find his website. Bao Phi is a two-time Minnesota Grand Slam champion and a National Poetry Slam finalist, Bao Phi has appeared on HBO Presents Russell Simmons Def Poetry.

Check out this video animated by Ash Hsie for his new poems for the newest issue of The Asian American Literary Review.

He's in your face about race, stereotypes and Vietnamese people. He says what I think but don't always say it. As a first generation Vietnamese, I can identify with many of his poems. My family watched plenty of Paris by Night Vietnamese concert videos, where Viet pop stars emulated Madonna and other American performers.

Bao Phi is in DC this week for several events. If you're in the area, check it out.

I think I'm going to buy my first spoken word album. (Listen more on his site.)

Dude and I want a shirt that says Vietnamese Phở Ever.