Back to the Future (1985)

This has been a personal favorite since I was a kid and it always remains somewhere within my top 20. Some claim that it hasn’t held up over time, but I respectfully disagree. There are so many memorable and iconic moments throughout the film that I find it near impossible not to be sucked in and taken along for the ride. I think this is mostly due to the minimal special effects that prevent it from feeling too dated, plus the fact that it already seems to be parodying the ’80s. It doesn’t for one second take itself too seriously and neither do we.

A

Back to the Future Part II (1989)

Now this film has the opposite effect on me, I like it less every time I see it. In trying to be bigger and better, there are more special effects, and it ends up feeling very dated. The humor is cheapened and the plot is basically one big excuse to revisit all the moments we loved from the first film.

C+

Battle Los Angeles (2011)

This is a film that should have plunked you in the middle of the action, given an intense ride, and let the characters and relationships develop naturally through the chaos (ala, let’s say, Saving Private Ryan). Instead it forced story and drama into places they have no business being. It tried so hard to get me to like these cardboard characters it was borderline offensive. Get off my lawn bro, I came for the action.

D

Darkman (1990)

Perhaps ’90s cheese at its finest. Sam Raimi

B-

Green Lantern (2011)

Oh god, what did you do? You finally make a Green Lantern movie and this is the best you can come up with? Mark Strong is quite literally the only memorable thing from this film. I could go on about Ryan Reynolds being completely miscast, Peter Sarsgard being completely wasted, the out-of-place-darn-near-cartoony special effects, or any number of disappointments…but Blake Lively I’m coming for you. Pretty much every time you graced the screen it ruined the movie for me. It’s not your fault, you were out of your element, but I want to punch whoever it was that cast you as a hard-nosed businesswoman/fighter pilot and thought for one second anyone was supposed to buy it. ARGHSUUNNNGHAEW!!1%6^$&#

C

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

I adore the first Hellboy film. The mythos, the sense of humor, Ron-fucking-Perlman. It got everything it needed to right, in spite of less than fulfilling third act. Well Hellboy II is even better. The story here has more weight, the villains are more interesting, and the characters more realized — meaning more emotional investment and a jolly good time.

A

Inception (2010)

I left the theater feeling pretty indifferent the first time I saw this. Convoluted =/= Clever. Also, Nolan tends to take himself far too seriously — if he had more fun, so would I. So anyway, I decided to give it another try, which most of the time results in at the very least slightly greater appreciation for a film. Not this time. There have been far too many memes, spoofs, South Park episodes to ever go back. There are two things in this film that I think are pretty spectacular: Tom Hardy and the hallway fight scene. Outside of that, DiCaprio is one-dimensional, my doppelganger Ellen Page is just kind of along for the ride, Joseph Gordon Levitt does what he can but is given zero attention, and the entire thing takes itself too goddamn seriously. Tom Hardy is the only person that got the memo that this was supposed to be fun. Dreams within dreams within fucking dreams? HAVE SOME FUN WITH IT. Fuck.

B-

Jumper (2008)

It’s frustrating when a film has moments of potential and then never fully explores any of them. Jumper is a waste of talented filmmaker and an interesting premise that focuses too much on romance bullshit while much more compelling plot points slip by. I have much the same distaste for Rachel Bilson here as I did for Blake Lively in Green Lantern. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that they are both second tier television actresses either. In Jumper, Bilson feels equally out of place and it’s near impossible to get into the film as a result.

C

Muppets From Space (1999)

Second tier Muppets film, but still better than The Muppets. I’m still pissed at you Jason Segal. -_-

B-

Skyline (2010)

What the fuck did I just watch? Stupid people, aliens, stupid bullshit happens. Nobody cares.

C-

Unbreakable (2000)

Over the years my interest has shifted to the family dynamic in this film, rather than the superhero plot. The blatant set up for the “twist” seems so obvious it’s insulting at this point. It’s unfortunate too, because I think it’s Shyamalan’s later works that make the earlier films feel trite and gimmicky — I distinctly remember enjoying both The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable quite a bit when I saw them in the theater. Signs is the only film that’s held up for me, mostly because that fantastic family dynamic is what drives the film, instead of taking a backseat to spoon-fed plot points.

B+

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December is always WESTERN MONTH, so I’m going to make sure we watch slightly better films to avoid all the headaches from too much >_<.

Zombieland (2009)

Zombieland is one of those films that, even after multiple viewings, remains an absolute blast. It nails everything — the gore, the cast, the rules, the humor. Plus it has BILL FUCKING MURRAY. It’s rare when something feels like an instant classic, but methinks people will be enjoying Zombieland for many years to come.

A-

Contagion (2011)

Holy fucking terrifying movie. Yeah I know it’s not “horror” but it scared the shit out of me. I’m already a germaphobe and people already kind of gross me out, this film did not help. It is however, pretty fantastic. Much more documentary than drama, it simply gives an honest view of how events would play out during a global pandemic. Characters are introduced and discarded without sympathy. Everyone is a number, a piece of data, an acceptable loss.  What I most appreciated though, is the characters are human — people who get emotional and, more importantly, make mistakes. There’s no Dustin Hoffman jumping from helicopters here. These are people just trying to do their job, or do what  they think is best for their families. It’s the realism that makes it so terrifying.

Now nobody touch me ever again.

A

The Thing (1982)

One of my favorites. This was playing at the Denver Film Center and was my second chance to catch it on the big screen. I’m not sure what to say, it’s a sci-fi horror classic in every sense of the word. Fantastic effects, great cast, tense atmosphere, plenty of gore…KURT FUCKING RUSSELL.

Diabeetus.

A

Videodrome (1983)

Yeah I’m not sure about this one. I think it might have been more compelling 28 years ago. The effects are good, but the story just wasn’t very interesting for how fucked up it could have been. I like some Cronenberg, others not so much. This one not so much.

C+

Red State (2011)

Points to Kevin Smith for making a film as ballsy as this one. Points for using non-traditional methods to produce and distribute the film he wanted to make. Points for daring to venture outside the comfort zone, both his and ours. That being said, I’m not entirely sure I liked it.

Can you even like a film with such an unflinching view of hatred in this country? It’s not exactly something you watch for enjoyment, despite the fantastic performance from Michael Parks. It’s a maddening, terrifying film because it could (and has) happened. Religious nutbags are scary people, but the things our own government is capable of may be worse.

“People just do the strangest things when they believe they’re entitled. But they do even stranger things when they just plain believe.”

B-

Sleepy Hollow (1999)

This one has grown on me over the years. I was a huge Tim Burton fan and I remember being horribly disappointed when I first saw it in theaters. But that’s something I’ve come to expect in the years since, so maybe that’s why this quirky and beautifully shot film has become more appealing. I think what most disappointed me back then was the ultimately lame explanation behind the headless horseman. He deserved better. Despite that it still looks amazing (I’m watching it on HD-DVD, fist pump) and I’ll admit Burton gets the atmosphere spot on. Watching it in HD really sucks you in…until bits of bad CGI poke their head in to ruin the moment.

Ah well, it gets enough right that it’s fun.

B+

Night of the Creeps (1986)

I don’t know if it’s quality so much as scarcity that has made this one a “must watch” over the years. Well, now it’s out on Blu-ray and I honestly can’t see what all the fuss is about. I’m not saying it’s a bad film, it’s just your standard zombie fare, and I guess I expected more. Fred Dekker is the same guy that directed The Monster Squad, a film I also don’t understand all the hype for, so perhaps there’s a pattern here. Sometimes shit just doesn’t appeal to me, and I’m okay with that. As far as zombie space slugs go, I’ll take Slither.

C+

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

A respectable remake, mostly because Zach Snyder does his own thing with the premise instead of trying to recreate the original. These zombies are faster and meaner and what it lacks in message it makes up for in intensity.

B+

Rubber (2010)

What a bizarre little film. It warns the viewer at the beginning that this will be a story where things happen for no reason, and it delivers. A tire becomes conscious and wanders around the desert killing things with its mind while an audience watches from afar with binoculars. Yep. It’s bizarre, funny, and sometimes oddly beautiful. Major creativity points for this one, even though the whole thing becomes tiresome by the end of the film.

B

All in all a fun month, five new films and four re-watches. On to November, which we have deemed SCI-FI MONTH. Less gore, more films my husband will watch with me. Whee.

Steeeel. All original 1984 Raleigh Tamarack mountain/touring/get-you-arounder. 650b wheels, which thankfully are coming back in style, so finding tubes and tires won’t be a problem. Upon closer inspection they’re actually 26″, lame. Sticking with them for now and then I’ll probably spring for a 650b wheelset from Rivendell next summer.

This will be a fun project bike. Currently on my list are new grips (foam is nasty), tires, pedals, saddle, and probably handlebars. It’s in great shape as is, so it’s already a fun ride as is.

Looking forward to piecing this guy together. I have deemed him: Yukon Cornelius.

I didn’t know much going into this film, other than it was a big hit at SXSW. This is one of those rare occasions where I hadn’t even watched the trailer, so my expectations were pretty much zero. I’m happy to say I was pleasantly surprised by this contemporary Critters in the inner city. Sure it’s flawed and filled with plot contrivances, but the fun you have makes up for it.

The dynamic of the kids keeps you hooked and laughing through the absurdity. Think the Goonies where the gang is comprised of little shits that mug people and use their teenage machismo to battle the gorilla-wolf-motherfuckers that are invading their block. Throw in some over-the-top drug dealers and an overly dramatic climax and you’ve got yourself a silly little film that hearkens back to the 1980s. It’s not a great film, but it’ll make you smile.

Grade: B

De Palma is one of those filmmakers that I don’t particularly like, but I can’t stop watching his films. I love to gripe about him, and yet I keep coming back for more. I think that’s part me wanting to know what the hell everyone else sees in his films and part the fact that they are pretty intriguing on some level. Mostly stylistically. I won’t argue that DePalma is a downright fantastic visual filmmaker, but it’s pretty rare that the story he’s telling lives up to the visuals. In the case of Blow Out, I find parts of the story just plain sloppy and that makes it hard to take the suspense seriously through the finish.

I first saw Blow Out years ago on DVD and remember being none too impressed with the very blatant mashup of Antonioni’s Blowup and Coppola’s The Conversation, albeit with a bit of a giallo twist. But when I saw the Denver Film Center was screening a 35mm print for a DePalma series I jumped at the chance to see in on the big screen. My mind had been changed before by the theatrical experience, maybe here was my chance to see what’s so great about DePalma. While I may not be a believer just yet, I did come out with a bit more of an appreciation for what may very well be De Palma’s best film. It’s not my favorite mind you, that will always be The Untouchables, but from a technical perspective I think Blow Out is the epitome of De Palma the auteur.

John Travolta, unknowingly about to take a 13 year dip in his career, plays a sound man for a low-budget movie studio that ends up recording in the wrong place at the wrong time. After a car plunges into a lake, Jack (Travolta) dives in and rescues the beautiful Sally, played by De Palma’s wife at the time Nancy Allen, but is unable to save the driver of the car..which turns out to be the Governor and presidential hopeful. Knowing that he recorded a gunshot, Jack becomes obsessive in trying to prove that it’s an assassination attempt. Magically film footage turns up as well and Jack has all the evidence he needs to make his case. Enter the half-assed conspiracy plot and a rogue agent that likes killing prostitutes played by John Lithgow. Jack tries to do the right thing and save their lives, but instead he pretty much just sends Sally to her death.

Sloppy plot contrivances aside, the film does a good job of creating suspense for the first 2/3. De Palma masterfully uses sound and his signature split-screen deep focus shots to tighten the action. This is where you really benefit from seeing it on the big screen, where you truly are surrounded by the atmosphere. De Palma constantly manipulates sound, space, and POV to turn the viewer into the voyeur — but only showing you just enough to keep you hooked. The only problem is by the third act you start to not care anymore. But then again function has never been as important as form to Mr. DePalma. The climax looks slick and is a little fucked up, and that’s enough to make it memorable.

This is one of those instances where if you have an interest in the film industry, you definitely get more out of this experience. I’m completely fascinated not just by the sound design and cinematography of the film itself, but also by the process Jack goes through in the film to piece together his own film of the accident, thus piecing together the very film we’re watching. How meta. As I mentioned, the technique here is quite possibly De Palma’s best, it’s just a shame the story never rises above a low-budget thriller.

Grade: B+

We hit the trails around 8:00am, which is one of my favorite times to be out riding. You catch the early morning folks that are not only courteous when passing, but also greet you with a warm smile and a “good morning”. Later in the day you’re lucky to get a stern “LEFT” before someone whizzes by you. I’m not sure when exactly the shift happens, but I wish these “serious” cyclists would set a better example — because, really, you may think you’re all hot shit, but you’re not above common courtesy..stop being a dick.

What was I saying again? Oh yes, bike fun time.

The South Platte River Trail can get a little crowded once you get south of Alameda and all the branches from the ‘burbs start converging together, but once we made it down to Chatfield the pack really thins. We found out why. There are steep hills heading west into the park — first time I’ve had to come down off the big ring in a while. Shows you how much actual climbing I do.

While I was spinning away I got passed by a dude on a mountain bike. Granted he had a Triple Bypass jersey on, but still, that stung a little. Next time I’ll do better.

Once inside the park you can either wind around by road, or choose as we did to ride the inconsistent and incomplete bike/pedestrian trail. Not the worst thing I’ve ridden, but not entirely sure I’d want to go that route again. Although stumbling across this random cabin may make up for the bit where we had to hike our bikes up the scary, rocky hill. Well that and the stunning lakeside view where we had lunch.

Refueled, we looped around the east side of the lake and back up to the trail. Maybe one of the roughest rides I’ve had to do on a roadie. My hands were sore for the remainder of the ride from the death grip I had on my handlebars. Thankfully we found smooth ground again to get us out of the park.

The headwind we had all the way home was both a blessing and a curse. It sure didn’t help the legs, but boy did it feel great and keep us cool. Wind or no wind, those last few miles home are never easy. So close yet so far. Almost out of water. Another fucking hill. But all was well. 65 miles later there was lemonade…and hamburgers…and hot dogs. It was a good day for team Yarbrough.

This whole adventure started very randomly one evening when I decided to download the Zillow app on my new iPad. Really I was just looking for shit to play with, but then I noticed something. There were houses in our neighborhood (an area we wanted to stay in) that were remarkably within our price range. This was a surprise because everything that had caught our eye before was easily $50k+ outside of our range — and if there was anything that paying off stupid after-college debt taught us, it is to stay within our means. So when we saw that there were houses we could afford, even if one of us lost our job, we decided to act on it.

Thanks to my mom, we had a great realtor (Becky Gregory, highly recommended) and found our home-to-be on the first day we started looking. The third house even. Hah!

However, finding a house and getting pre-approved for a loan were by far the easiest part of the process. The actual loan review process was STRESSFUL. The person reviewing our docs wins the ‘Worst Communicator of the Year’ award for one of the most frustrating experiences in recent memory. Although, after all was said and done, we only closed a day late. Much worse has happen to other people.

So now here we are. Big boy pants. Things are already breaking. Thankfully I’m a good researcher and my husband is blessed with what I call ‘man magic’ (aka the ability to fix random shit) which has already come in handy for things like leaky shower drains and replacing electrical outlets. Next up, ceiling fans…whee.

It’s funny what you get excited about when you own a house. I’ve hugged our new fridge more than once (thank you mom-in-law), our new washer & dryer are from the future (thanks parents), and our king size bed is heavenly (thank you savings). I love lamp.

Did I mention we’re walking distance from Home Depot? Oh noes.