Imma Fooker's Blog for the Heavily Sedated

Poor Stupids

immafooker — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 16:23:41 -0700

It's been over three years since I posted about that stupid cunt Connie Jackson, and still the morons flock to this site to share their opinion (assuming it's actually important). More often...

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Are Israelis' morals not worth what a pig could spit?

immafooker — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 10:08:47 -0800

Certainly the Israeli hierarchy, military and of course the media. It’s horrifically macabre but I literally have to stifle a giggle after the IBA (Israeli Broadcast Authority). How can you...

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Free Porn!

immafooker — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 00:26:31 -0800

Well actually I’d have to make money off of it; so not exactly free. Why is it when someone’s in trouble I automatically assume it’s my job to save them? Ok SuperTwat,...

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God Imma a Spectacular Writer!

immafooker — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 12:18:42 -0800

Oh don’t look so surprised, you know my grandiose ego loves reading my own writing. Why? Because it’s fucking great! And fucking depressing but that goes with the territory. ...

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ManBearPig

immafooker — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 13:24:01 -0800

I hate Al Gore, don’t you? Penn & Teller: Bullshit! did an episode this season titled, Being Green. While they admitted to no clear cut evidence as to whether (or weather) Global...

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Hello, I'm History and I'll be repeating myself today

immafooker — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 03:55:22 -0800

While removing my slippers, at 2:20 am, I’m suddenly struck by a revelation – although the slippers had no part in the “Ah Ha” moment. It’s what was currently occupying my thoughts; I pondered...

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We're born, we live a little while, we die

immafooker — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 23:00:58 -0700

From: Charlotte's Web; by: E.B. White. And ending nervous breakdown sequence.......... now. There we go, all better; well mostly. I'm currently in Kansas and doing well despite the occasional sad,...

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I'm a walking corpse

immafooker — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:44:05 -0800

I'm no longer Brooke. I haven't been Brooke for over 4 1/2 years; I'm only a hollow shell. Brooke is stuck back on that cold, hard surgery table dating back to September 2003. She is...

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The 8th day

immafooker — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 21:38:49 -0800

On the 7th day God took a marathon nap, but what the Bible neglects to tell you is what God did when he awoke on the 8th day. Unfortunately the first thing he created was a hangover, to be...

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I'm not a Suicide Bomber

immafooker — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 01:41:35 -0800

Just thought I’d clear that up for everyone. Quick change of subject: I haven’t been active or replied to any calls and emails because it turns out Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome isn’t as cool as...

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Sleep, Don't Weep

immafooker — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 15:42:06 -0800

Found this lil article in Word dated: 10/26/07. Never made it to the website, but I believe it speaks for itself as to why: I’m sorry, I’ve been personally ignoring the hell outta everybody;...

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Have a Holly Jolly Christmas Letter

immafooker — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 13:52:58 -0800

This the letter we sent out to family and friends for Christmas; many thought they had accidentally wound up on The Grim Reaper's Christmas card list. Dear Family and...

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where the hell have i been?

immafooker — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 00:29:31 -0800

in hospital, surgery was killing me softly. well actually more like from a whisper to a scream. having distal revision undone on monday. share more but 1 arm to type with. susan's visited me, she...

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Ya know if it ain't broke...

immafooker — Tue, 08 May 2007 01:57:48 -0700

Ya know after the town folk finally conceded that indeed there was no "putting Humpty Dumpty back together again", someone chimed in and asked, "Why the hell did we put him on top of that wall in the...

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April's a purty shitty month

immafooker — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 12:18:23 -0700

Yesterday’s carnage at Virginia Tech Columbine Oklahoma City Waco Taxes Rwandan Genocide Today is Grandpa’s birthday 20th is the anniversary of my boy’s death It’s kinda hard to muster up any...

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Dear Tony Danza

immafooker — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:07:59 -0700

Sorry to hear about your talk show. Just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your cameo appearance (as yourself) in the recent Oscar winning movie Crash.

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Mirrorball

immafooker — Sat, 31 Mar 2007 03:36:35 -0700

Let’s be honest here, although let me remind you I’m going straight back into that wonderful cozy feeling of denial immediately after: Russ is dying. No deathbeds, oxygen tubes or other...

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I called myself and left a voicemail

immafooker — Thu, 15 Mar 2007 04:46:27 -0700

Think I should listen to it? I had a missed call on my cell a couple days ago and the number was my cell number. Now I’ve seen caller ID numbers masked on land lines and I’m sure there’s...

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Apples, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie; If you're not ready holler, "I!"

immafooker — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 15:52:30 -0800

I

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And the Chicken Shit of Year Award goes to....

immafooker — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 16:01:14 -0800

Me! Oh don’t look so surprised. I’ve been trying to write about this for the past ten days. In fact I’m not that enthusiastic over writing it now. I think if I put down it on...

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I'm the Father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby

immafooker — Wed, 14 Feb 2007 10:43:44 -0800

Just figured I'd throw my name in the pot as well.

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Who is the suckiest friend?

immafooker — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 01:26:37 -0800

I apologize for such a sour note, but I'm afraid this situation warrants public opinion. In order to make a crucial decision regarding my life I must look to the populace vote. Well at least...

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I know, I have some 'splainin to do

immafooker — Fri, 02 Feb 2007 14:48:25 -0800

Honestly I've been stayin away to keep myself outta trouble. I get all worked up over some silly thing some silly person had said on the net. It's actually been quite theraputic and...

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I don't have writer's block

immafooker — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:26:50 -0800

I have writer’s annoyance. There’s so damn much to tell and every day more and more crap happens till one day the sewage system on the left side of brain explodes, then you become a...

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Home

immafooker — Sun, 29 Oct 2006 15:02:29 -0800

HOME....stop FLU RAMPANT IN KANSAS.... stop LOST VOICE SOMEWHERE IN UTAH.... stop POSSIBLE DIRTY MORMON CURSE.... stop GOT TO SEE MY FIRST SNOWFALL IN OVER 7 YEARS... stop AM NOW AN OFFICIAL...

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I'm sorry I haven't written much

immafooker — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 00:58:59 -0700

Considering the circumstances for my visit what I’m about to say is going to sound rather odd: I actually feel relaxed and like I’m on vacation. We have somehow managed to dive right into...

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If only I was more like you

immafooker — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 00:41:21 -0700

Besides Mother and the Amazing Aunt Tammy my best friend Snookie is my hero. You remember me talking about Immaculee Ilibagiza? Her demeanor, faith and forgiving nature reminded me of...

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Hey I just took my drugs

immafooker — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 03:23:30 -0700

I have got to tell you guys all about this. About six weeks ago there was a writer’s conference here in Salinas. At first it was incredibly annoying because Mother literally chucked this...

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I've got the music in me

immafooker — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 01:21:55 -0700

Somewhere… I know, I know; I’ve been silent but it’s hard to make your mind work when it feels like someone’s using a jackhammer on your spine. And all ya seem to be doing is counting down...

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Oh the big news

immafooker — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 23:06:37 -0700

Well originally I was trying to post to the Advanced Bariatric support group leader, but unfortunately Fat-Russ-I-Believe-in-Genie ripped the diagram that Dr. Swartz drew out of my hands thinking I...

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