iMOM - Espresso Minute

Helping your child deal with anger

Thu 16th Jul 2009

Is your child emotionally literate, especially when it comes to anger? Most young children are not... they don't understand what is going on inside and don't know how to express their emotions. They express anger whenever they experience a negative emotion. When they're afraid, they show anger. When they're ashamed, they get angry. They hide their other emotions behind the mask of anger. So next time they're angry, ask them if they are really sad, mad, glad, ashamed or afraid.

iSpecialist Joanne Miller offers some great advice on helping children understand and deal with their anger.

Pillow Talk
Do you get angry often? What one thing makes you angry the most?

Lasting memories don't have a price tag

Wed 15th Jul 2009

Wondering how you can still make memories with your family, despite economic uncertainty? Well, where there's a will, there's a way! Memorable times don't have to cost a fortune. There are always ways to scale back on the cost and still create memories that your family will cherish for years to come. Just think outside the box!

Taking a family trip? Consider driving instead of flying. Stay with friends or relatives and save on hotels. Celebrating a special occasion like a birthday, anniversary or graduation? Look for low-cost ways to have fun - like passing up the pricey restaurant dinner and planning a family cook-out instead. Invite your friends and relatives to bring a dish for everyone to enjoy, and instead of expensive gifts, ask everyone to come prepared to share their favorite story about the guest of honor. Have your video camera handy to record the festivities, and the fun will live on for generations.

Here's how I managed to make memories with two of my daughters and keep a family tradition going - even on a budget! What are some of your memory-maximizing, money-saving ideas?

Pillow Talk
What was the best time you can remember that didn't cost any money?

Helping your teens handle their hormones

Tue 14th Jul 2009

Did you know that typical teen boys think about sex all the time? And typical teen girls think about sex a lot of the time? All teenagers struggle with lust. Believe it or not, as their mom, you can help your adolescent son or daughter deal with their raging hormones.

In this week's Learn a Latte, iSpecialist Dr. Tim Kimmel suggests trying to understand what your teen is going through, and then talking with him or her about their struggle with lust. For more ways to help your child remain pure through the difficult teen years, read Dr. Kimmel's article.

Pillow Talk
Who do the kids think is the sexiest person in your school?

Don't rush to remarry

Mon 13th Jul 2009

Are you thinking of getting married again? If you are, take some time to make sure you're ready for another trip down the aisle. The website stayhitched.com tells us that mourning for the lost relationship with your former spouse takes a minimum of two years and up to 5 years to complete, whether that relationship was positive, negative or mixed. There is a mourning process, which unfolds in several stages, and it takes time to work through the emotions.

So be cautious about remarrying too soon. Your second marriage will have a much better chance at success if you first sort out any unresolved feelings about your first marriage, and set realistic and untainted expectations for your new relationship. Consider talking to a professional counselor, your pastor, or an older couple with a solid marriage track record for advice and support before you say "I do.... again."

And most importantly, consider the children - yours and his - in your decision to remarry. You'll be creating a stepfamily, and that's a very delicate balance to achieve. Watch this helpful video, which answers seven questions you need to ask when preparing for remarriage.

Pillow Talk
How would you feel if I decided to get married again? Can we talk about what it would be like for you?

Eat right to fight the flu

Fri 10th Jul 2009

What's the best way to protect your family from the flu? Mom was right... eat a variety of nutrient-packed foods every day to boost your immune system and protect your body from invading viruses, bacteria and other microscopic threats.

According to the National Institutes of Health, a healthy eating plan is one that emphasizes fruits, vegetables, whole grains, fat-free or low-fat milk and dairy products; and includes lean meats, poultry, fish, beans, eggs and nuts. And, healthy food choices are low in saturated fats, trans fats, cholesterol, sodium (salt), and added sugars.

Here's a shopping list for some wise food choices that can help your family fight colds and flu, and a downloadable healthy eating game you can play with your kids.

Pillow Talk
Why is it important to eat healthy foods? What is your favorite healthy snack?

Eat right to fight the flu

Fri 10th Jul 2009

Pillow Talk
Why is it important to eat healthy foods? What is your favorite healthy snack?

Childhood memories last forever

Thu 09th Jul 2009

What are the best memories you have from your childhood? Best-selling author and psychologist Mary Pipher says there are three things that we usually remember with great happiness from our childhood - time outdoors, vacations and family meals. �In the midst of these long summer days, be sure to relax with your children outdoors with unplanned time together. Take some time off from work... you don't even have to leave home to vacation. And be sure to take advantage of the nice weather by cooking out with friends and family.

Here are some more ideas for memory-making activities with your kids.

Pillow Talk
Pick one family event this summer that you would like to be the official photographer for.

The price of forgiveness

Wed 08th Jul 2009

Forgiveness is a great gift. A gift that is costly to both the giver and receiver. One person must acknowledge, and even regret, the offense they caused, and humbly ask to be forgiven. The other person must be willing to let go of the offense, without harboring a desire for revenge, and release the person who offended them, extending unconditional forgiveness. True forgiveness has no strings attached. It knows no exceptions and is governed by no statute of limitations. No matter how long ago an offense occurred, no matter how many miles separate the two parties, forgiveness can still take place. And when it does, lives can be changed.

Is there someone you need to ask forgiveness from? �Is there someone you need to forgive? Think about it. And if you don't know where to begin, maybe this amazing story will help you take that first step.

Pillow Talk
Why do you think it's important not just to say you're sorry when you do something wrong, but to also ask to be forgiven?

What do you need?

Tue 07th Jul 2009

Have you ever needed something from your spouse that you just weren't getting? When you need comfort, do you get advice instead? When you need attention, are his eyes glued to the TV screen? It's frustrating when we don't get the right response at the right time. But there is actually an easy solution to this problem: share your needs with your spouse!

Don't expect your husband to read your thoughts - because he can't. And you can't read his either, no matter how close you are to each other. In this week's Learn a Latte, iSpecialist Dr. Greg Smalley shares insight on what you can do to make one another feel loved.

To find out how to successfully share needs with your husband, read this article.�
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Pillow Talk
Do I do a good job meeting your needs? What can I do to make you feel more loved?

Independence Day quiz

Fri 03rd Jul 2009

Are you and your kids smarter than a fifth grader when it comes to the Fourth of July? Tomorrow marks the 233rd birthday of the United States. Our Independence Day quiz has 11 questions for you to answer, including, how many men signed the Declaration of Independence? Who sewed the first American flag? And, what year was the Declaration of Independence adopted?

Test your Independence Day knowledge here, and have a fun, safe holiday weekend!

Pillow Talk
What do you think makes the United States a great country to live in?

Get board this summer

Thu 02nd Jul 2009

When's the last time you and your kids got "board"?I don't mean "bored" as in nothing to do, I mean "board" as in board games. You don't have to wait for a rainy day or for an evening when the power goes out. Pull out those old games now. Playing games is a great way to spend time with your kids face-to-face... doing something fun! It gives you an opportunity to teach them about competition and how to be a good loser and a good winner.

You can even try an educational game to help develop your children's imaginations. Check out this list of family-friendly games. Then turn off the TV and the computer and turn on the family fun.

Pillow Talk
Have you played any good games at your friend's house lately? What game is your favorite? Mine is ________.

It's the little, everyday things that count

Wed 01st Jul 2009

�How does your husband show that he loves you? Sometimes, as women, we think that grand gestures from our husbands are the only ones that count... the only ones that make us feel really "loved." But what about the dozens of little things he does all the time that we sometimes fail to notice... or maybe even take for granted. Does he hold the door open for you? Offer to carry heavy things? Smile when he sees you at the end of the day? Does he give the kids a bath so you can take a break? Run to the store when you need something? Does he give you a shoulder rub when you've had a tough day? Unload the dishwasher? Fold the laundry?

iMOM Ambassador Lauren Dungy is blessed with a husband who considers her needs and does those little, unceremonious, everyday deeds that say, "I love you."

As you're watching�this video, think about what your husband does for you, and tell us... how does your husband show he loves you in those small but special ways?

Pillow Talk
What do I do for you that makes you know that I love you? Can I tell you how I know you love me?

Summer sanity

Tue 30th Jun 2009

Are your kids driving you up the wall? Summer can be a challenging time for moms. A house full of bored, cooped-up kids can be a recipe for disaster. How do you react when your son crayons the wall or your daughter digs up the flowers you so painstakingly planted? You probably can't help being frustrated... but you can keep your frustration from getting out of control.

In this week's Learn A Latte, iSpecialist Dr. Gary Oliver discusses his own struggle with frustration and shares some ideas about how to get your own frustration under control. Check out Dr. Oliver's article and start becoming a saner, calmer you.

Pillow Talk
What kinds of things make you feel frustrated? How can I help you handle those feelings?

Which of the seven dwarfs are you?

Mon 29th Jun 2009

Right now my kids would say I am Grumpy. But I'd like to be Happy...Perhaps you're feeling like me. The checkout guy is too slow.� The kids are too loud.� The kitchen is too messy and there is way too much laundry. Do most things rub you the wrong way?

When I get like this I am not very fun to be around.� But what is worse is that my attitude is contagious. My children's outlook on life is often shaped by my attitude. If we have an agitated look on our face most of the time, and spend much of the day complaining, our children will probably do it too. Try to keep negative comments - oh, and the eye rolling - to a minimum around your kids. Remember, they're watching you.

So check your attitude, enjoy life, and watch this video to keep things in perspective!

Pillow Talk
What makes you really cranky? What do you think makes Mommy cranky?

You Can Do It!

Fri 26th Jun 2009

What's on your children's reading list this summer? How about a book that will encourage and inspire them to pursue their dreams? When Super Bowl-winning head football coach Tony Dungy was a boy, his father encouraged him to dream, and dream big. In his children's book, You Can Do It!, Dungy tells the story of what happens when a little boy finds the faith to follow his dream.

So find out what your child is dreaming about, and when your child discovers something that lights a fire in their spirit, help them to pursue it this summer ... and become their biggest fan. Order a copy of You Can Do It! here.

Pillow Talk
What do you think your special gift is? If you're not sure, would you like to try to figure it out this summer?

Sleepy time

Thu 25th Jun 2009

Are you getting enough sleep? After you stop laughing, consider this, most adults get about seven hours of sleep a night. That may be enough for some people and not enough for others.� How can you tell if you're getting enough? Are you tired during the day? Are you grouchy?� Does your brain feel foggy?

Well, it's often tough for moms to get enough sleep, but it's really important for our health and our disposition. It's hard to be a good, patient mom when you're exhausted. So, at least once or twice a week leave the house a mess and head to bed instead. Skip your favorite TV show, turn off the computer and the phone and make sleep a priority.

For more on the importance of getting a good night's sleep, read this.

Pillow Talk
Why do you think it's important to get plenty of sleep? Who do you think needs more sleep, grown-ups or kids?

Pondering your child's potential

Wed 24th Jun 2009

Once there was a twelve-year-old boy who had an incredible gift. His parents had pondered some of the differences they had observed in him but had yet to figure out exactly what was going on. One day when he was on a trip with his family, his growing passion for using his gift distracted him, and his parents lost track of his whereabouts.

His mother was understandably frightened and upset with him. When she found him, she chastised him and then listened to his excuse. She still didn't completely understand her son, but she added this incidence to the other unusual things she had observed in him and treasured them in her heart. Years later her son's name became a household word and all those observations she had stored in her heart made perfect sense in hindsight.

What observations have you made about your child this year?� Do they concern you?� Do you take time to ponder that perhaps your child's bewildering traits may be a gift that is just presenting itself in childish immaturity.� Read on for another example...

Pillow Talk
What do you think your special gift or talent might be?

Don't cave in to your kids

Tue 23rd Jun 2009

Have you ever heard, "But Mom - everyone I know has a (you fill in the blank)! Why can't I?" It's the phrase that can turn a quick dash to the superstore for a few necessities into an all-out guilt trip. But you don't have to cave in to subtle - or overt - manipulation.

In this week's Learn a Latte, Kathy Ireland shares insight from her new book, Real Solutions for Busy Moms. One key is to love your kids enough to say no when necessary, and stop giving in too easily.

Read more here about how to empower and educate your children about the value of money. Then take a look at this humorous video about keeping finances in check.

Pillow Talk
Do you know anyone who gets everything they ask for, every time? Do you think that would be a good thing or a bad thing? Why?

Unity: the best defense for disrespect

Mon 22nd Jun 2009

What do you do when your child is disrespectful to your spouse? I heard this in my house just the other day... it didn't even sound like my son.� He said to my husband, "What's with you, man?"�� I was out of my seat in two seconds - time for an intervention!� Spouses should agree to defend each other rather than having to defend themselves when a child is disrespectful. This show of unity will reinforce to the child that disrespecting either of their parents is completely unacceptable and will be dealt with by them both.

When someone comes to our defense, it allows our own anger to subside while the defender addresses the offense from a somewhat calmer perspective. So next time your child is disrespectful to your husband, jump right in there and come to his defense. Your united front will send a powerful message to your child. Here's how I handled it.

Pillow Talk
What is the most disrespectful thing you have said to Daddy lately? Why did you say it?

Happy Fathers' Day!

Fri 19th Jun 2009

Most of you will have double duty this Fathers' Day - honoring your own dad and making sure your children honor your husband.� Honoring him is more about remembering than buying, and remembering can make a great gift.�

If you're short on funds this year, make up for it with creativity. Watch this video with your kids and then make one of your own for the dad in your family.�

Here's another way to honor all the Dads in your life. Sign them up to receive the All Pro Dad Play of the Day email, packed with valuable fatherhood tips and practical advice.

Pillow Talk
What do you love most about your dad? How can we make Fathers' Day really special for him this year?