Improbable Enjoyments

the dark side is in all of us

2010-10-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

i've been making this face a lot lately and combined with the occasional radical, unsubstantiated, inflammatory Facebook status, i'm thinking maybe i should consider a move to Fox News. think they'd let me be the arts correspondent? they totally need one. AND I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO GO!

Greed Is Good

2010-09-28T23:27:00.000-07:00

This is not a movie review. Ha! It's another one of those moments like where Hawkeye would get all serious about the war. I vaguely remember being disturbed by that. Like seeing my father cry or something.Anyway, here it is.The thing saving my life right now is greed.Nowadays I dedicate a lot more time than usual to making money, which isn't to say I am going to have much, cause work is still a

Ventriloquists

2010-09-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

Seems I only blog nowadays if I have something to say to no one in particular that won't fit in 140 characters or less.I was just lisening to Luxuria and they were playing a recording of a ventriloquist act which had presumably gone out over the radio sometime between 1920 and 1970.At first it doesn't seem that odd. But then you realize the fact that the entire point of ventriloquists is that the

6 legs bad...? 8 legs good... 100 legs...better???

2010-08-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

vs. (feel free to click the primitive drawings if, unlike me, you have a computer that's less than 4 years old)Maybe it really is time for cockroaches to get a rebranding. Maybe it's time we stood up for flies. Cause if we want rid of them we have to side with spiders and ...shudder... centipedes.*I really, really, really hate house centipedes.But a friend of mine on facebook just posted a

at least as good as the goddamn BJ joke.

2010-08-28T19:05:00.001-07:00

Because of this:http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_11_20-celebrity-endorsed-products-too-awesome-to-existI made this:There.

2010-08-27T16:14:00.000-07:00

Being gainfully-- if not fully-- employed can surely wear on one.I'm still in a transitional period of getting used to things, and learning the ropes of all the new jobs, but the worrisome thing is that I now cannot seem to sit quietly long enough to watch a televisionne programme or read a book or WRITE or in fact care about anything, without dozing off.The danger of having jobs you don't hate

My Super-Pet

2010-08-20T20:18:00.001-07:00

Prompt: Create a super-pet by combining any three animals.Very well. Imagine with me...before: flying kitten after: Owl + Cat + Chameleon = The Kwitleon! A cuddly flying color-changing big-eyed thing that lives on flies and other pests. Spends much of its time napping, hunting and performing acrobatic swoops. Lays eggs which hatch fluffy, winged kittens.

The Children's Hospital + my list

2010-08-15T12:07:00.000-07:00

The Children's Hospital by Chris AdrianMy rating: 5 of 5 starsI recently read this. Or rather finished reading it. I've had it for like 2 years. Originally I read it a few pages at a time, in the bath, as it was already water-damaged when I received it, from a man I met online whose name I no longer remember but at the time was involved in a sort of territory dispute between myself and my

Mad At Ya

2010-08-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

Oh. Wait. It's Friday the 13th. That means my project for the day should be Jackie Earle Haley related.My actual plan was to get a little extra mileage out of my own charming little ridiculousness by sharing this with you:transcript: I didn't get any notice, aside from the footprints on my porch. only learned of attempted delivery by checking the tracking site. please(!) deliver my package before

Wuthering Heights and Dating

2010-08-03T23:52:00.001-07:00

at what point do you know someone well enough to talk to them about Kate Bush?or The Last Unicorn?things of that nature.

The Results Are IN

2010-08-02T13:29:00.001-07:00

Okay, I am ready to put my two cents into the bucket and say the following things FUCKING WORK:Prayer/voodooWhat Color Is Your ParachuteNetworkingMaybe they work a little too well, because OMG I now have three jobs (shelver, baker, and retail clerk for an awesome handmade paper shop).And as far as What Color Is Your Parachute, I think it genuinely helped me to think strategically about what I

Can You Believe I Only Just Started Watching The State?

2010-07-21T22:33:00.001-07:00

Everybody was hot on that show, in the most exquisitely odd ways, except for Joe Lo Truglio.Okay, even him kinda.And except for Michael Ian Black who is conventionally handsome, and seems to kind of hate himself for it. I love it when he falls down. there i go again...Better than Kids In the Hall?* Angrier, maybe. Is it that old lack-of-socialized-medicine chestnut? At least The State had a girl

The Poet? Hardly.

2010-07-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

I just returned from a wedding in Arizona. I was traveling with my mom. On the way back we stopped at a truck stop in New Mexico that smelled unusually horrible (it was one we'd been to multiple times and had come to trust, so, it was probably just having a bad, puke-filled day) bought an audiobook of a Michael Connelly novel The Poet.Holy Fuck it was horrible.I mean the book may have been

So, how was it?

2010-07-13T21:29:00.000-07:00

I was just telling myself no, I can't write about my new job because my new boss is my friend on Facebook and my Facebook page links to this blog and he might read it OMG! then I realized waaaiiit... considering I didn't burn the store down or steal all the money or even alienate people, what the fuck am I going to blog that's more embarrassing and compromising than what I have already blogged

kefir sutherland

2010-07-12T21:45:00.000-07:00

Breaking: kefir is tasty.If only I were watching 24 instead of Dexter, this would be perfect.Ah, Dexter. Problematic.Lila's right, you know. None of us like her, of course; she's unlikeable. But come on. He's a serial killer; who is he to be all self-righteous about her methods? He can dish it out but he can't take it. He wants a smokin' hot demon-in-the-sack with no personal boundaries, willing

news i can use...to masturbate

2010-07-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

am i just as creepy as those dudes who are all like 'yeah i like lesbians, it's hot when girls kiss each other, oohh yeah'?is it okay if i think hot boy-on-boy action is a sexy thing for me to femalely gaze at as long as i actually, like, care about real gay people?cause those lesbian-appreciating dudes...(speaking as a straight woman whose opinion therefore probably only half-matters, if that)

Why I Love Independence Day (a somewhat anglophilic meditation)

2010-07-06T15:13:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know it's old news now, but I love Independence Day.The one year I had to work on the 4th, I realized just how important it was to me. All I wanted was to be home on the porch drinking a beer with my mom, dutifully twirling sparklers as is our wont, and hoping somebody in the neighborhood sprung for the illegal stuff.I'm all for patriotism. The World Cup brings it out in me, as does

ZAP!

2010-07-04T18:05:00.001-07:00

Boobs Accordion

2010-06-30T15:21:00.000-07:00

apparently somebody arrived at this blog by google searching the term "boobs accordion."you have no idea how much this pleases me.though, it has to be said, boobs and accordions are a dangerous combo. Michael Ondaatje was among the first to observe this fact in his poem Elimination Dance.among those eliminated: 'women who gave up the accordion because of pinched breasts'a good bra is essential.

dispatch from limbo

2010-06-29T13:23:00.000-07:00

I'm back, and on my first day back I have already secured a third stream of income i.e. a second part-time job wherein i may be privileged to work as few as zero and as many as 48 hours a month, thus adding retail to my list of occupations. I wish my parents were more impressed. It's not much but it might make all the difference.So, when will life go back to normal? Never, god willing. I NEED

Another Movie I Don't Want To Watch

2010-05-31T22:53:00.001-07:00

Recently I've become fascinated with the work of actor Jackie Earle Haley, the man with -- and this is a matter of public record -- THE DARKEST RESUME in cinematic history. I looked it up on IMDB today. I learned a lot of really horrifying things on the internet today, hopefully none of them actually point to the endtimes.As for Mr. Haley... Basically, casting agents think he looks scary. I first

finally saw Daybreakers

2010-05-22T23:01:00.000-07:00

Wow.I bet that movie made a lot of people reeeeeeeally uncomfortable.Not sure, but, I THINK it may have been...some kinda...allegory...for somethin'. Can't quite put my finger on it.

Tedium Tips #12: Lose Your Shit, Again

2010-05-22T12:04:00.000-07:00

Sorry if Tedium Tips is just becoming a way for me to talk about embarrassing things that happen to me at work, but this is a new low right here. Also kind of an interesting experience.Okay.So here's a way to make new friends in a weird workplace: cry for help.Don't feel limited to the word "Help!" You could also try simply Talking Really Politely But REALLY LOUDLY IN HOPES SOME SECURITY GUARD

Freelance Writing, fire two point oh

2010-05-21T09:51:00.001-07:00

Well it may not be very interesting right now, but if I were to succeed as a freelance writer, these posts would be evidence of how even a big loser with no expertise CAN. YES.Anyway, at the moment things are gaining momentum, albeit at a glacial pace.Here's a piece of the glacier:That ol top ten list I was talking about vaguely in past postsI got $4 for it which seems more valuable once you

Bad News

2010-05-14T11:37:00.001-07:00

Idlewild sucked. Damn it, I will never have my top ten.I mean it could have been good if they'd put a little more thought into it, and, like, finished some of the songs. Just watch an Outkast music video, they make more sense and they have the same two dudes, only Andre's not trying to pretend to be a shrinking violet. Aww.Which reminds me, his kids' show was awesome... what was that called?