A Cry For Help From A Techie! (Along With Some Mostly Unrelated Blather About Computer Problems, Career Moves, & ADHD)</h1> <article> <h1>A Cry For Help From A Techie! (Along With Some Mostly Unrelated Blather About Computer Problems, Career Moves, & ADHD)</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Sat, 05 Dec 2015 21:33:00 +0000</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">This isn't the point of this post, but I thought I'd better get it out of the way first: I have an issue with my graphics card and no idea how to fix it. If you want to skip the tech talk, just skip down to the fourth page break line. :)</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm getting</span><span style="font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif;"> pretty frustrated with my wonky display, so if anyone has a suggestion to help me, you'll have my undying gratitude and virtual chocolate-chip cookies in thanks! :) <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline;">And i</span><span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline;">f that's not enough for you there's always </span><span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline;">my firstborn child.</span></span></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">_____________________________________________________________________________________</span></div> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, the Problem:</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My display has bright, horizontal magenta lines across the top of the screen. The longer my computer is on, the more the problem grows; more lines appear, they get thicker, and brighter, and they go further down the screen until the top third of the screen is barely visible through the distortion. </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">By then, there are also vertical lines along the right-hand (my right, the monitor's left) side of the screen - though <i>that</i> appears more as a smear of colour, which extends further at the bottom of the screen than it does at the top. If the computer is left on too long, the entire screen is distorted, and the only way to fix it is to shut down the computer and let it rest for a bit before turning it back on. </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My (rather slipshod) Temporary Solution:</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Adjusting the display settings (colour, saturation, brightness, hue, etc.) minimized the problem, but the adjustments took a lot of colour and brightness out of the display; it's very muted and dull now, and it's harder to see things on the screen. Not to mention, the distortion is still there; it's just minimal (relegated to the very top of the screen and only extending about a half an inch down), and not very bright or visible anymore - rather than bright, magenta lines, it just looks like simple distortion.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Is there any way to fix this? I'll post the graphics card info below. While I recently upgraded to Windows 10, this problem was occurring for a few months before that. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">_____________________________________________________________________________________</span></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">System Information: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Processor Graphics Information: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Intel(R) HD Graphics 2000 <b>|</b> Video BIOS: 2111.0<b> |</b> Current Graphics Mode: 1680 by 1050</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Intel(R) HD Graphics 2000: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Driver Version: 9.17.10.4229<b> |</b> Operating System: Microsoft Windows 10 Home Version (10.0.10586) <b>|</b> DirectX* Version: 11.0 <b>|</b> Physical Memory: 6087 MB <b>|</b> Processor: Intel(R) Core(TM) i3-2120 CPU @ 3.30GHz<b> |</b> Processor Speed: 3293 MHz<b> | </b>Vendor ID: 8086 <b>| </b>Device ID: 0102<b> | </b>Device Revision: 09</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you need more information on the graphics card, I'll look for it and post it ASAP.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">While I'm 99% certain it's the graphics card and not the monitor, the monitor info is below, just in case. </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Monitor Acer X223W<b> |</b> Generic PnP Monitor Information: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">General Info: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Display Type: Analog<b> |</b> Serial Number: ACR0050<b> | </b>DDC2 Protocol: Supported<b> |</b> Gamma: 2.2 <b>|</b> Connector Type: VGA<b> |</b> Device Type: CRT </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Maximum Image Size: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Horizontal: 18.50 inches<b> |</b> Vertical: 11.81 inches </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Power Management Support: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Standby Mode: Supported <b>|</b> Suspend Mode: Supported<b> |</b> Active Off Mode: Not Supported </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Supported Modes: </span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">640 by 480(67 Hz)<b> |</b> 640 by 480 (75 Hz)<b> | </b>640 by 480 (72 Hz)<b> |</b> 640 by 480 (60 Hz) <b>|</b> 720 by 400 (70 Hz)<b> |</b> 800 by 600 (72 Hz)<b> |</b> 800 by 600 (75 Hz) <b>|</b> 800 by 600 (56 Hz)<b> |</b> 800 by 600 (60 Hz) <b>|</b> 832 by 624 (75 Hz) <b>|</b> 1024 by 768 (75 Hz)<b> |</b> 1024 by 768 (70 Hz) <b>|</b> 1024 by 768 (60 Hz) <b>| </b>1152 by 864 (75 Hz) <b>| </b>1152 by 870 (75 Hz) <b>| </b>1280 by 720 (60 Hz)<b> |</b> 1280 by 960 (60 Hz)<b> | </b>1280 by 1024 (75 Hz) <b>| </b>1280 by 1024 (60 Hz) <b>| </b>1440 by 900 (75 Hz)<b> | </b>1600 by 1200 (60 Hz)<b> | </b>1680 by 1050 (60 Hz) </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <br /> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">___________________________________________________________________________________</span></div> </div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know that it's a graphics issue, not an issue with my monitor, because:</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1) Even if I turned my monitor off when I needed to leave the computer for a bit, the distortion would have worsened by the time I came back and turned it back on. However, if I shut down the computer (rather than having it sleep so that I can get back to what I was working on before I was interrupted), when I turn it back on, the distortion isn't so bad. It's better the longer the computer is off, and it makes no difference if I turn the monitor off or not.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And 2) Adjusting the graphics settings helped clear up the problem somewhat. However, it's not completely gone, and the new settings make it hard (not as hard as before but still difficult) to use the computer; so I'd really like to put the settings back to default again. I'm just trying to find out if there's a better fix for this issue.</span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; min-height: 8pt; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"></span></div> <div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19.5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Like I said before, I'd be desperately grateful to anyone who can help me. <span style="border: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-weight: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline;">I'll throw a parade in your honour and film myself as a one-woman marching band going down the street and post it to Youtube or something.</span></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">_____________________________________________________________________________________</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">So, I was supposed to write a short biography for this online community I joined (solely for the purpose of getting some tech advice/help with the ongoing problem with the graphics card in my computer). Said "biography" ended up focusing solely on my educational and career history and future plans, before devolving into a long-winded sermon about ADHD. </span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">I kind of liked it, so I thought I'd share it. </span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">_____________________________________________________________________</span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">DeiStarr - About Me: </span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">I'm a writer. I write music, lyrics, poetry, long and short fiction, and I worked as a copywriter for a while doing Press Releases, Blog Articles, Email Drips, Q&A's, FAQ's, etc. It was actually really fun and if it paid better I would do it for a living. </span></div> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">I am a qualified bookkeeper. I actually love numbers and I had a complete nerd-meltdown over getting to teach fractions to my 6 and 7 y/o's and finding a way to make it fun enough that they would actually retain it. In a year or so I'm going to go and focus on finishing up the credits and logging the work hours I need to become certified as an accountant. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">I really love Marketing. I love selling things; especially if I think that people will actually benefit from buying whatever product or service I'm selling. I actually tried door-to-door sales when I was 18, and I loved it. (For a few months, anyway.) If I believe in the product or service I'm selling, and believe that the customer would be better off with it, I can sell anything. The flip side is that I can't sell anything I don't believe in, but frankly, I wouldn't want to. (Which might have something to do with my results. It's definitely one of the main reasons I'll never actually work in Marketing.) </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">I have ADHD. This is, perhaps, one of the most important things to understand about me, because ADHD affects so much of my life in so many ways. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">ADHD's gifted me with a vivid and extremely creative imagination, which I exercise frequently and aim to do so to its fullest capacity. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">ADHD's stuck me with perpetual tardiness that I am constantly striving to overcome; with mixed results ranging from occasionally being painfully early to more-often-than-not running dreadfully late. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">ADHD's blessed me with a high IQ of 136, for which I am grateful, and which I make use of often in school and at work. I placed in the top 1% of final grades from all graduating high-schoolers across Canada when I got my diploma. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">ADHD's cursed me with forgetfulness, meaning that I need everything and anything important in writing and set in my smartphone with an alarm notification, right after I find out about it; or else I'll completely forget about it and only remember in the middle of the night, or during other such moments when I can't do anything about it. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">ADHD's placated me with hyperactivity - which sounds like a negative thing, and it would be if I hadn't trained myself from the time I was young to manage the restlessness and the ever-present desire to <i>just <b>move</b></i> during long meetings, lectures, etc. (Church was very useful in that regard.) Managing the symptoms of hyperactivity in those situations is second nature to me now, and I don't even have to think about it. That allows me to enjoy the more positive side of it: I'm active enough to stay in shape, without even trying. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">ADHD's also left me easily distracted; struggling to focus (or, if I've managed to hyper-focus, to un-focus), to concentrate, or even to organize things if I keep getting distracted while I'm trying to organize; it can be the most maddening thing in the world, and very discouraging. </span></span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span></span></span> <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">Of course, the hyper-focusing can be the greatest thing ever - nothing can distract you, nothing can stop you; your entire being is consumed by the task you're focused on. The rest of the world might as well not exist. The sole purpose of your existence is to do whatever it is that you're focused on; nothing else matters. It must be perfect. Since it is the only thing of any importance in the world, it doesn't matter how long it takes - </span></span><i style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">it must be perfect</i><span style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">. You complete whatever you're hyper-focused on at a slow pace, but the quality of your work is incomparable, and unless you're forcibly dragged out of your hyper-focusing, you don't pause, don't rest, don't stop until it's done. Time has no meaning; food, water, rest - they all have no meaning to you; they don't exist to you when you're hyper-focused. </span></span></span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">Hyper-focusing could be an amazing way to accomplish difficult or time-consuming, complex tasks - if it was reliable. I'm as likely to hyper-focus on doing dishes as on something important - and the length of time it takes to make sure every dish looks the same as it did the day we bought it far outweighs the benefit of having the dishes not only clean, but looking like new. I haven't figured out yet how to trigger my hyper-focusing; so until I do, I'm stuck being distracted, unfocused, disorganized, and unable to concentrate. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">If I could trigger my hyper-focusing at will, then even though it isn't good for everyday situations, I could use it for really important tasks that need to be done thoroughly and well. It could come in handy at work; so long as my deadline is at least 24 hours away when I trigger it. The next step after learning how to trigger my hyper-focusing, of course, would be to learn how to break out of the "hyper-focused trance" quickly in an emergency, if someone needs me for something, or even just after a set length of time, to take a rest. Following that, I'd try to learn to do things quickly while I'm hyper-focused. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">The odds are, it'll never get that far, but I still need to gain more control over my ability (and inability) to focus. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">ADHD runs my life, in many ways. It's taken me a long time, but I've finally accepted that I have to organize my life around my symptoms, and focus on finding ways to manage my symptoms so that I can still live like normal people (who don't have ADHD) do. I have a lot of work to do to get to that point, but I'm committed to trying my best. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">There will always be differences between the way I live and the way other, "normal" people do - some of them good, some of them bad - but I don't resent their existence anymore. I'm learning how to make them work <i>for </i>me, instead of against me; and frankly, that's a lot better than simply swallowing down bottle after bottle of medication that doesn't change much, day in and day out (not that I'm planning to stop my meds or anything; it's just that they're pretty ineffective without adding therapy to the mix);</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"> all the while crying,</span><i style="color: #3d3d3d; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"> <b>"Woe is me! I'm different and I can't make it stop!" </b></i><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">Different can be good. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">Different can be brilliant. </span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">Different can be the best thing that ever happened to you. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: intel-clear, arial, helvetica, 'helvetica neue', verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;" /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;">I'm Dei, and I dare to be different.</span><br /> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span> <span style="background-color: white; color: #3d3d3d; font-family: , "arial" , "helvetica" , "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 16.25px;"><br /></span> </span><br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3FIsg8EGx6c4wLbLojPHgzG9XKMWkjHUM8rfSiWZN-TrMjUD5h0Qm4AxfqYq-8Iw1ClXDj-0mSzgZqa2NiPxNj2We3D_rCJhy9jikG6rbnphRKbT3sMfp2kk19PZngHmFRIbHEnU7qd8/s1600/adhd-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> <br /></div> </article> <article> <h1>A Quick Rec</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 22 Apr 2014 22:52:00 +0000</p> <p dir="ltr">I'd like to rec an 8th year Drarry fic written by a friend of mine. It's pre-slash atm. I'm wanting her to continue it but she wants to wait and see if she gets enough requests for one first. If she does, she asked me if I'd write it with her! So if you read it, please review it! Thanks! <3</p> <p dir="ltr">{"Just because I don't want to see people suffering anymore because of things they didn't have a choice for, doesn't mean that I'm mental. It means that I'm actually more logical than most of you are." Harry said to the guy.} </p> <p dir="ltr">Summary: It's the 8th year for the survivors of the war and everyone has returned for their last year at Hogwarts. During the welcoming feast, everyone is openly insulting and talking loudly about being disgusted with the returning Slytherins. For some reason, Harry decides to walk over to Draco, and ask him to be friends. Small one-shot, check inside for more info, may be continued.</p> <p dir="ltr">Friendship Is All I Ask - https://m.fanfiction.net/s/10291064/1/</p> </article> <article> <h1>50 Epic Dance Moves</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 20 Jul 2013 23:31:00 +0000</p> </article> <article> <h1>Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire Disney Trailer - MUST WATCH</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 13:28:00 +0000</p> This video is a MUST WATCH for Harry Potter and Disney fans. Unbelievable. Whoever made this is incredible!<br /> <br /> <br /> </article> <article> <h1>Drarry and Drabble</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Tue, 28 May 2013 13:31:00 +0000</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrFaukRJjS2ea0nSgEugQsdA9VGUdD9eCKJd9jd8gJ7too9JaF1QaS3EnaL-ixdPDl0vwlkHbAiUW4OE01NxiLxi9idL_tYOZYfcZD_2IuavfBj_e_FyiKlxFB52JzcaXoZOjfIQoxKX0/s1600/drarry.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <br /> I<span style="font-family: inherit;"> was told a quote recentl<span style="background-color: white;">y that went, <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">"Most people ship Drarry because they think it's so dark and toxic and appealing. I ship it because I think it'd be the cutest fluffiest thing ever, and I don't even know why." </span></span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">That doesn't entirely sum it up for me, but in the end it's part of it. Part of it is that Draco is my favourite Harry Potter character. Part of that is that he's a bad boy full of sarcastic snarky wit. Another part of that is that he's inwardly just an eleven year old boy who got rejected on a train and never got over it. </span></span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I recently started writing as well as reading Drarry. It's smutty. I, who could never write a sex scene to save my life, have successfully written smut. Good smut, if my reviewers are to be believed. It's borderline porn. </span></span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9312663/1/Grey" target="_blank">I wrote this oneshot</a>. It's called "Grey" and the summary is as follows: </span></span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><i><br /></i></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><i>"I throw myself down on the bed and close my eyes and think of grey. Grey, grey skies, and stormy eyes." Harry Potter is broken after the war, but maybe Draco Malfoy can fix him. Slash, oneshot. COMPLETE. Harry/Draco (Drarry)</i></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">If you don't want to go to Fanfiction.net to read it, <a href="http://deistarr.livejournal.com/2243.html" target="_blank">try my LiveJournal</a>, or <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/995610" target="_blank">go to AO3</a>.</span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Click on "I wrote this oneshot" for FF.net; "try my LiveJournal" for LJ. </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">This is the title cover: </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBRbEQVlp1XKQdrcXXtSeb8QZ7k7iRY5o0NhO45mf0xZxsyzRmU0uozLz22zzI8lAF_DxNco8MQ33wkiXzKWIUz8sAQxMrSHt2saGFpehkVBzpq7EfTNPnNVmMwaahxK8jXG96YK48amA/s1600/download+%25288%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9336846/1/In-The-Stacks" target="_blank">I wrote a PWP</a>! (Porn Without Plot) </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Summary is: <i>In the library during their Eighth Year at Hogwarts, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter have an accidental run-in that leads to clandestine meetings in the stacks. Pretty much PWP. COMPLETE. Draco/Harry (Drarry)</i></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><i><br /></i></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">***EDIT*** </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">After getting an overwhelming number of responses to this fic from readers, I expanded it into a Multi-Chapter fic. The story gets pretty dark at some points, though, so if you're not interested in that you just just read </span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">the first chapter as a stand-alone PWP.</span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">***NOTE*** </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">There's a warning for inexplicit non-con in chapter 10. It's brief, and like I said, not very explicit - basically just enough info that you know what happened without going into too much detail. </span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Rather than describing the rape itself, I simply described Harry's emotions and thoughts when it happened. </span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I also put in a page break and header over the scene with the non-con, so that if it's triggering for you, you can just read up to the page break. That way you can skip it without missing too much of the story. </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><a href="http://deistarr.livejournal.com/2915.html" style="font-size: medium; line-height: normal;" target="_blank">Or find it on my LJ</a><span style="font-size: small; line-height: normal;">. <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/995571/chapters/1969284" target="_blank">Or on AO3</a>. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">'Twas inspired by the following photo: </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ayYolnEgAKPyNK6Rf3gfvRIGkgAYS7dWdyHV0yob__NcohZQIvAskVMSjiTMVANsJBfympeOxTSbfGpT1VJaF86e_x0n9rPA5r7-0xU9DEU8_fI3g07XkIg2QuZbk-eVJoLNoYgV1Zw/s1600/drarry2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">In case I wasn't already sufficiently clear, it's adult content; so don't read unless you're an adult and willing to read slash. In case you're new to internet lingo, slash is male/male romantic pairing. Gay guys. Together. Doing gay things. So if you're going to be offended, either don't read it or don't come crying to me when you do. </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><a href="https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9276276/1/Is-Anybody-Out-There" target="_blank">Here is my first ever multi-chapter fic</a>. It's called "Is Anybody Out There?" and the summary is as follows: </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><i>When grief threatens to overwhelm Harry Potter, the only person who can pull him out of it is Draco Malfoy. Meanwhile Draco himself is drowning in secret guilt that nothing can overcome – or can it? This is a story about grief and guilt, with a side of lust and love. It goes back and forth between post-epilogue story and eighth year Hogwarts story. Epilogue compliant. Slash. WIP</i></span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><a href="http://deistarr.livejournal.com/1745.html" target="_blank">LiveJournal Chapter One is here</a>. <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1000710/chapters/1981747" target="_blank">AO3 Chapter One here</a>. </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Here's the cover for that one: </span><br /> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit1YspRfjcbGQpSdxW-7zdIUaKu_1egcMeYSebx1S2TF1d2arGLiZYdyxbRA4iIMQ8InMX5NBsa-Xs7rt21Uj2LrDTmCwb2yVvfdCrrXqvk_0bVl-thtCTYjF2E1Pf9zeSwAToJ3YHjt4/s1600/download+%25289%2529.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></div> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span> <span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">So, check them out if you're so inclined. If not I don't mind. Either way. :) </span> </article> <article> <h1>Because I Love You - Novel Excerpts</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 20:48:00 +0000</p> <br /> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Jenna Roberts let out a scream as she hit the ground. She bit her lip, trying not to make any other sounds. All around her echoed the screams and cries of other people on the street. People were dropping down, taking cover; everyone just wanted to get out of sight of the gunman. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">Why? Why is he doing this?</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> She could feel herself shaking but her emotions were numb. <i>How strange,</i> she thought. <i>I don’t feel anything. </i> She shouldn’t be like this. She knew that. But she wasn’t prepared; wasn’t ready to face something like this right now. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">You’re pathetic.</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> The familiar voice echoed inside her head, and the tears started as she laid face-down on the grass. Even now that he was gone; now that she was in a different city, his voice was still with her, still delivering its poisonous sting whenever she was unprepared. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">I shouldn’t be like this,</span></i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"> she thought, desperately. <i>I’m supposed to stay calm; I’m supposed to help others. I’m supposed to be a professional. What if this happened at the hospital? Would I still be like this?</i> A pit of fear that had little to do with the gunman knotted inside her, but no matter what thought came to her, she couldn’t make herself move. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;">She heard the police arrive, heard them order the gunman to lower his weapon. Heard them shouting calming words to the crowd after everything was over. Through it all, she simply laid there, tears coursing down her cheeks. <i>I’m a coward. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><i><br /></i></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><i>****************************</i></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"><i><br /></i></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Courier New"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US;"></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Ryan closed the door silently, taking off his shoes in the entranceway. He slipped into the darkened living room; where he smiled at the sight of the sleeping girl curled up on the couch.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">He made his way towards her, avoiding the textbooks that were scattered on the floor in front of her.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"> </span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">There was a pencil sitting loosely in the hand that hung over the edge of the couch.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"> </span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">“Hey, Trish,” he whispered, moving a lock of dark hair out of her face. “Get to bed. It’s not good for you to sleep here too much; you’ll get a kink in your neck tomorrow.” When she didn’t move he added, “Come on sis; move it. You’ve got a bed upstairs; use it.” <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">She opened one bleary eye and mumbled something incoherent. Then she attempted to roll over and go back to sleep. He gave her hair a playful tug, teasing, “You’ll get zits if you stay here…” He doubted it was true, but it worked. She turned to glare at him with dark features that mirrored his own and hinted at some Hispanic ancestry. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">“Jerk.” She stuck out her tongue at him, for all the world as if they were still children. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">“Naturally.” He grinned. “Now go on – scram!” <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">She rolled off the couch with a groan, then began gathering up her textbooks. She yawned, and Ryan bent to help her. The he hurried into the kitchen without listening to her thanks. He downed his nighttime medication with a quick glass of water, then dashed up the stairs. He headed straight into the second door on the right. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">The dark-blue, space-themed room was lit by the soft glow of a nightlight. He tiptoed towards the small twin bed in the corner, pausing when he got close. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">A tiny fist rested on the covers, and a small mop of dirty-blonde hair was nestled on the pillow. Hair that was slowly but surely getting darker all the time, Ryan realized.</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"> It hurt a little to think that he was looking less like Laura as time wore on. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">“Hey, Bud.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Sorry I couldn’t be here to tuck you in. I love you, Connor.” <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">He eased himself onto the bed beside the toddler, and wrapped his arms around his son. He wished Connor would turn around so he could see his face. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">“I’m sorry I have to work so much. I really miss you, Buddy.” He breathed in the baby-smell from Connor’s hair. “Daddy loves you, Connor.”<o:p></o:p></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"><br /></span></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <span lang="EN-US" style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">Ryan fell asleep holding his son. <o:p></o:p></span></div> <br /> </article> <article> <h1>When I Was Six - Short Story</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 20:36:00 +0000</p> <br /> <div class="MsoNormal"> This was a short story I wrote for a prompt from NPR. It didn't make the cut, of course - I'm not a US citizen so I'm not even eligible - but I thought I'd share it with you guys. :)</div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> ***********************************</div> <div class="MsoNormal"> The bus rattled as it made its way through the city. It was worn and the seats slightly tattered from excessive use. There was the usual mix of passengers, and a rather lively group round the middle were discussing their favourite presidents. It was the type of conversation everyone has an opinion about, and many had already voiced theirs. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> “And that’s why Bush was my favorite president,” finished a middle-aged man in a worn grey business suit. He was slightly stocky with a receding black hairline, and had an air about him that dared those around to disagree. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> “I met my favourite president,” came a voice from further back in the bus. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> Heads turned to look at the speaker; a slender, neatly-dressed blonde in her mid to late thirties. She smiled. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> “I was six years old, and my parents took me to see the motorcade go by for Obama’s inauguration. I was excited, partly because of how excited my parents were. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> We got a good spot, right at the edge of the barrier. Everyone was straining their necks; they could see the motorcade approaching. I got bumped by someone behind me and tripped. I fell forward and hit my head on the barrier. I lay there, stunned, staring at the ground. The noise, the people jostling me with their feet; everything scared me. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> Someone grabbed my arm and yanked me roughly to my feet. I turned and stared into the brown eyes of a twelve year old boy. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> ‘Hey, Dummy,’ he glared. ‘Be careful.’ <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> He turned to move back to his family, but I burst into tears and threw my arms around his waist. He may have called me, ‘Dummy’, but no one else had seen me fall. Even my parents were too preoccupied to notice right away like he did. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> Of course they noticed me crying, and when they found out why they thanked him profusely. They asked for his name before letting him go. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> ‘Jeremy Brown,’ he said.”<o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> There were a few gasps from around the bus. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> “President Jeremy Brown?” An old woman asked. She clutched the shopping bag in her lap, leaning forward eagerly. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> The blonde nodded. “That’s why he’s my favorite president – he’s more eloquent now than he was then, but the important thing hasn’t changed. He sees the things that others miss, and does what needs to be done.” <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> Silence greeted her declaration, and the driver’s voice could be heard calling the next stop. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> “Well,” she smiled. “That’s me.” She rose and dismounted at the stop. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> The bus started up again, creaking and groaning. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> “Do you think it’s a true story?” The old woman asked. <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> “Of course not,” blustered the middle-aged businessman. “She was just trying to show me up.” <o:p></o:p></div> <div class="MsoNormal"> <br /></div> <div style="border-bottom: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm;"> <div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; mso-border-bottom-alt: dotted windowtext 3.0pt; mso-padding-alt: 0cm 0cm 1.0pt 0cm; padding: 0cm;"> The conversation resumed, but no one could quite shake the memory of the blonde’s story about meeting the future president when she was six. <o:p></o:p></div> </div> <span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 200%; mso-ansi-language: EN-CA; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I</span> </article> <article> <h1>James Bond-ing It Off A Train Isn't A Smart Idea.</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 20:24:00 +0000</p> <br /> <div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"> </div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> So I've been having issues with my meds for a while now. They're finally getting sorted out, and what happens... I fall off a train. Fall off a train and sprain my ankle. </div> <br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://metrouk2.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/article-1343735622441-144e6fe0000005dc-606118_636x300.jpg?w=636" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <br /> Of course, it was nothing so dramatic and James-Bond-y. The train was stopped, I was disembarking, and my body decided to leap the stairs without informing my brain. I'm lucky I didn't break anything. But the sprain still hurts, and is still fairly incapacitating.<br /> <br /> I swear, you never realize how many doors are wheelchair inaccessible until you're on crutches. I don't want to go anywhere or do anything until it heals.<br /> <br /> Of course, this happened the day after I realized that I needed to lose weight. For the first time in my life, I can't fit into my pants. I swore I would take advantage of the free gym here at the college only to have this happen. Lucky for me, the pool is still an option, and I intend to pay it a visit after writing this.<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRhbO6y8JH0xKmp1eHqgUK2lymcb1FT_r1caD9TxQESd0xYa3HFRg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <br /> Of course, I discovered with a little research that swimming with a sprain isn't always a good idea - so I might end up having to give up on the swimming for a little while longer. It all depends on whether or not it's painful. I think the swelling has gone down enough for it to be worth a shot, though.<br /> <br /> I'm still reeling from the shock of being too big for my pants. The only time that's ever happened to me before is when I've been pregnant. I used to be one of those people who could eat a whole large pizza in a sitting and not gain any weight.<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1340892596481_3315507.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <br /> Since my options are to either buy a new wardrobe or lose weight, and I have no money for a new wardrobe, that leaves me with losing weight. I'm not used to the idea and I already know I don't like it. How do you eat low-fat when all your food has to be prepared in the microwave? I can't walk to the kitchen carrying any food to cook, since I'm on crutches, so that leaves me with the microwave.<br /> <br /> I've been eating hot dogs for the last several days because I have nothing else that's microwavable and I can't really go grocery shopping by myself with crutches. My parents are, fortunately, going to give me a hand with shopping this weekend. I'm so excited - I get to eat non-hot-dog food again!<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.joecrazy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/2009-Nathans-Hot-Dog-Eating-Contest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <br /> In writing news, I've gone back to work on my novel. And started working on a new (old) one that I dreamed up when I was 17-18 years old, and never wrote down. I'm planning to post snippets in a while. Stay tuned.<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> That's all for now; the pool is calling. </article> <article> <h1>Curry Slurry: Colleen's Passionate Mess.: A Survivor, Not a Victim</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 10:21:00 +0000</p> <a href="http://curryslurry.blogspot.com/2013/02/a-survivor-not-victim.html?spref=bl">Curry Slurry: Colleen's Passionate Mess.: A Survivor, Not a Victim</a>: I've been wringing my hands, trying to write this post for days. I'm just going to put it out there. I am a survivor of sexual as... </article> <article> <h1>Curry Slurry: Colleen's Passionate Mess.: A Survivor, Not a Victim</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 28 Feb 2013 10:21:00 +0000</p> <a href="http://curryslurry.blogspot.com/2013/02/a-survivor-not-victim.html?spref=bl">Curry Slurry: Colleen's Passionate Mess.: A Survivor, Not a Victim</a>: I've been wringing my hands, trying to write this post for days. I'm just going to put it out there. I am a survivor of sexual as... </article> <article> <h1>Site I Created Content For!</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 21:56:00 +0000</p> This is a site that I created the content for - from the "Product Info" to the "Blog".<br /> <br /> http://50.87.0.67/~mobilfp5/blog/<br /> <br /> It's for a company called the Mobile Grape, and they created an innovative wine accessory that lets you drink wine hands-free. It's quite interesting. </article> <article> <h1>Techno Aid: Why should an entrepreneurial business outsource i...</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 18:23:00 +0000</p> More content written by yours truly!<br /> <br /> <a href="http://technoaidmarketing.blogspot.com/2013/02/why-should-entrepreneurial-business.html?spref=bl">Techno Aid: Why should an entrepreneurial business outsource i...</a> </article> <article> <h1>Techno Aid: Seven Ways Technology Can Save Money On Your Busin...</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 18:22:00 +0000</p> Another blog I was paid to write. :) <br /> <br /> <a href="http://technoaidmarketing.blogspot.com/2013/02/seven-ways-technology-can-save-money-on.html?spref=bl">Techno Aid: Seven Ways Technology Can Save Money On Your Busin...</a>: Image courtesy by inhabitat.com Technology. It’s expensive, right? However, sometimes it can be a lifesaver as far as you... </article> <article> <h1>Techno Aid: 2013’s Top Computer Threats To Watch For</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 18:18:00 +0000</p> One of the blogs I wrote. :-)<br /> <br /> <a href="http://technoaidmarketing.blogspot.com/2013/02/2013s-top-computer-threats-to-watch-for.html?spref=bl">Techno Aid: 2013’s Top Computer Threats To Watch For</a>: Image courtesy by spectrum.ieee.org A new year is here and with it come new threats facing businesses large and small. Home... </article> <article> <h1>Working, School, Medication Problems, and a Petition</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 07 Feb 2013 16:35:00 +0000</p> It's been a long time since I've updated! I've been busy with life, and haven't had time to write. I've been working as a freelance copywriter for a Marketing company in Florida for a while now. I've been writing Press Releases, Blog Articles, Email Drips, a Q&A, FAQ, etc. It's good work and I enjoy it - for the most part. I enjoy the blog articles the most, but also like doing the press releases.<div> <br />The company is called Transformational Outsourcing, and hopefully it'll look good on my resume that I've worked with them. I also wrote an article for a trampoline company about fitness and trampolines; through which I learned a lot, and an article on skydiving. Both of those were for different companies than the one I currently am working for.<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://rlv.zcache.com/funny_copywriter_button-p145212212376903713en8go_400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> This has given me the opportunity to research travel destinations, holidays and events in several countries, wine, wine accessories, and wine events in Florida, junk disposal, moving issues, tech support issues and computer viruses, exercising with trampolines, cosmetics, A/V needs and services, safety procedures of skydiving, and mediation and divorce proceedings in New York.<br /> <br /> For example, did you know that only 1 out of every 150,000 skydiving jumps ends in death? Most accidents occur because either A) divers try pulling high-risk maneuvers like Swooping – a move where the diver glides parallel to the ground before landing, B) two divers are too close together and their chutes get tangled too close to the ground for them to perform emergency maneuvers, or C) the winds change.<br /> <br /> Did you know that in New York, while New York State has technically no longer required “fault” for divorce, the state requires that you have A) had your marriage broken down irreconcilably for 6 months or more, B) divorce mediation is required to resolve all issues, such as child support and custody, alimony, equitable distribution, and parenting plans before the divorce can be granted. If you choose to settle things with lawyers rather than a divorce mediator you can do so, although that option is a great deal more costly. This results in only 1 out of 10 divorce cases going to trial.<br /> <br /> Copywriting doesn't pay much, but it has been a good experience, and I hope it continues. It's been very educational, and has broadened my world. The people I work with are very nice, and have been very understanding as I've recently experienced some health issues that made it impossible for me to write for a little while. Fortunately they still allow me to work for them despite my recent inability to complete tasks within the designated time-frame.<br /> <br /> My health issues have been a mess - first there was the flu. THAT was fun. Then I had a new medication prescribed to me for my seizures/epilepsy by my neurologist, which caused stomach cramps so intense I was unable to move out of bed for the first few days that I was taking it. It also causes extreme fatigue, which makes it hard to attend my classes. It still causes stomach cramps at times. I'm trying to get the dosage reduced, to see if that helps.<br /> <br /> My psychiatrist changed my medication as well, eliminating my sleeping pill - which will hopefully help me make my morning classes - and altering the other medications I'm on to increase my ADHD meds, increase the anti-depressant mood stabilizer and decrease the depressant mood stabilizer. I already feel better - the anhedonia I've been experiencing seems to be going away. Hopefully I become less... well, ADHD, as well.<br /> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR2FZCvn8qG-KiwebWRSb27-I4pf0iLSw_3PeD0EtsCcf5eoS72udzUW9q97Wu2IYRYtUExTEialHivauH1i2IcucCUcqqFs7sh7XDZAFg_M11rpLtK355mudQjMyQHRFNH5AZQy_ZgHc/s1600/adhd-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <br /> Classes are fun; I love school and I love learning; although lately my anhedonia has been interfering with that. My fatigue has been interfering with making it to classes - on my days off I will sleep the entire night, entire day, and entire night again, waking only to use the bathroom, and I'm still desperate for sleep the following day. However, hopefully the changes to my meds will change that.<br /> <br /> I've become a Marketing student. Before I was studying Accounting, and while I enjoy it, Marketing is something I can be passionate about. However, I may go back to Accounting after this semester, as it is A) something I'm more likely to find employment with in the area I live in, and B) it may be offered at the college near my house, saving me from maybe having to live in residence again if I have another seizure.<br /> <br /> I wish that it was easier to find employment in Marketing - I mean, I enjoyed door-to-door sales, for Pete's sake, so you know it's a good fit for me. And yes, I used to be one of THOSE people, who went door to door and bugged the crap out of you trying to sell you gas and electricity. For non-Canadians, that's something possible in Canada, to buy gas and electricity from a different provider than the norm. It goes through the same pipes, but it's supplied by and paid to a different company. The prices are fixed, which means that you either get a really good deal or a really bad one, and you're on contract. Fun.<br /> <br />Also, did you know that there's a huge difference between community colleges in the US and community colleges in Canada? Community colleges in Canada are on a much higher level than the US - just under university level. However in the US, community colleges are just above or at high-school level, and far below university level. So for any US readers who see that I'm attending a community college, don't think of it as you would a US community college, because the level is different. Canadian community colleges are midway between university and American community colleges in level. <br /> For anyone who lives in the Windsor area, there's a petition I'd like you to consider signing. It's regarding the potential elimination of Level 3 Neonatal Intensive Care Unit from Windsor Regional Hospital. I personally know people - such as my mother - who would have suffered extreme hardship without this service. The petition asks that the service be kept as it is vital to the community. Please take a moment to sign it.<br /> <br /> <a href="http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/petition-for-full-level-3-classification-at-the-windsor.html">Full Level 3 Classification at the Windsor Regional Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit Petition | GoPetition</a> <br /> <br /> I'll quit the blathering. Here are a few pictures I found funny from "The Depressed Copywriter". http://www.depressedcopywriter.com/<br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.trbimg.com/img-503fb6ed/turbine/wtxx-25-funny-ads-from-the-depressed-copywrite-004/600" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.trbimg.com/img-503fb719/turbine/wtxx-25-funny-ads-from-the-depressed-copywrite-024/600" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://www.trbimg.com/img-503fb71e/turbine/wtxx-25-funny-ads-from-the-depressed-copywrite-020/600" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <a href="http://www.trbimg.com/img-503fb6e4/turbine/wtxx-25-funny-ads-from-the-depressed-copywrite-010/600" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> </article> <article> <h1>Juice Is Red, Trains Are Blue, Juice Is Yellow.</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 13 Nov 2012 22:26:00 +0000</p> <br /> <div> This is going to be a picture post. By which I mean there are a lot of pictures. I tell a story about my family that's illustrated with pictures I took myself. One of them is kind of blurry. </div> <div> </div> <br /> <br /> <a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/2012/10/braaaaaaains-moaned-zombie.html" target="_blank">A while ago I had two seizures in a row, which was a really scary experience and stopped me from doing a lot of things for a while; one of which was blogging as regularly as I had been before that happened.</a><br /> <div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/2012/10/braaaaaaains-moaned-zombie.html" target="_blank">Because of my seizures, I can't drive until I've been properly examined </a><a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/2012/10/braaaaaaains-moaned-zombie.html" target="_blank">(and seeing a specialist takes forever in Canada) and put on medication to prevent future seizures. </a></div> <br /> <div> <br /></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Because I'm in school, this was problematic. I ended up moving to residence, only able to see my family some weekends. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> This is hard. I miss them like crazy and when I have free time I feel a little lost. </div> <div> <br /></div> My kids get really excited over the train when they come to pick me up or go to drop me off. They think it's cool. My little boy, Maxx, especially gets excited. <br /> <div> </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> He makes a face like this when he sees the train. (Not Maxx below; my baby's cuter.)</div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/97/17/d36863f1c9c75b1b5039e0c22e0a31d1-kid-overly-excited-about-yu-gi-oh-scrapbook.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> It's awesome. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> They were given Via Rail colouring books while they were waiting for me one day, and when they were colouring them I was asked repeatedly - the way kids do - what colour trains were. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> "Blue," I answered, since it's sort of a dark navy colour, and hey; there's always Thomas, right?</div> <div> <br /></div> <div> So now my kids think that all trains are blue. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Maxx is also obsessed with juice. He'd get by IV if he could. <a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/2012/10/braaaaaaains-moaned-zombie.html" target="_blank">Even though he already found out the hard way that he hates IV's with a passion</a>. (Again, not Maxx below. He's a wee bit older and a wee bit less, well, female.)</div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://s4.favim.com/orig/48/child-funny-cute-juice-Favim.com-460990.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div> Seriously, the only way to get that kid to drink something other than juice is to tell him there's no juice left. And wait for him to get thirsty enough to agree to milk or water. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> It seems like he and Avi get to bring juice along every time they go to drop me off. First it's red juice with an unknown origin. Then it's yellow juice poured from a bottle into a spill-proof cup. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I think my kids are getting a little spoiled by how much juice they get, but it's all good. At least juice is (sometimes) healthy. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Marc and the kids had a wrestling match the last time I was home. It was epic and awesome. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/558828_10151284633950804_1509653554_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> It started with them attempting to overwhelm him by tackling him simultaneously. (Above, looking like a hug-a-thon.)</div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/76266_10151284634235804_745752928_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> He proceeded to overwhelm them instead and began the tickle torture. (Avi screaming as she's tortured.)</div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/542782_10151284634515804_2144435048_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> They regrouped and renewed their attack, only to met halfway by the father-beast who promptly overpowered them. (Again, looking like a hug-a-thon.) </div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/58994_10151284634780804_1029767309_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> Troops were taken captive and subjected to tickle-torture; rescue attempts proved useless to stop him. (Avi's rear attacks proved useless to help her little brother (off camera).)</div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/483086_10151284635085804_1653511392_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> </div> <br /> <div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Maxx brought out a secret weapon, and suddenly the tables turned. The father-beast was shot dead. (Above, Avi checks for a pulse.) </div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/543129_10151284635285804_2028031662_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Avi could only guess as to whether or not she was next as the new dominant predator crept up with his gun to pose triumphantly over the body of his kill. (Above, Avi and Maxx had a stare-down while he decided whether or not to shoot her. He chose in the affirmative and I had to put down the camera to save her.) </div> <div> <br /></div> I miss my babies so much right now. Even though I can only blither about inconsequential things, I still miss and love them so much. </div> </article> <article> <h1>Just For Fun</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 03:21:00 +0000</p> What would you rather be? <br /> <br /> A Poll.<br /> <br /> <a href="http://poll.fm/3ywky">http://poll.fm/3ywky</a><br /> <br /> Just For Fun. </article> <article> <h1>Exhaustion</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Mon, 05 Nov 2012 23:49:00 +0000</p> <br /> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> I'm exhausted. I've also decided that I hate group work. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> My group handed in a report today that was over 3000 words long, plus an executive summary, table of contents, and references. I wrote over 50% of it. There are 5 people in the group. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> Now, to be fair, everyone completed their assigned portions. It's just that the whole thing was only 1800 words long altogether when it was done, and my portions made up a large chunk of that. And the minimum word count was 3000 words. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> I'm sure that everyone would have done their bit if we'd had enough time left for me to email them all and be able to reasonably expect that they could increase their word count. Except we didn't. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> So I wrote 1500 words plus a 300 word executive summary, drew up a title page and annotated some references. Between midnight and 6 AM. I also did research on everything I worked on. I slept for 3 hours, and when I got up, discovered there was still one more piece to be written. I skipped my first class and researched and wrote that. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> I feel jittery now. Too much caffeine. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> I'm not annoyed or upset; like I said everyone did their best and would have done more if there had been time to ask. I'm just frustrated. Frustrated that there was no time to ask. Frustrated that I couldn't have put it all together sooner and discovered the problem with enough time to let everyone know. But then I couldn't have gone home for the weekend, or would have spent the weekend doing school-work instead of visiting with my family. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> It's a little depressing. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> But I won't let it get me down. Now I have only to finish up the next group project I'm part of, and it's finally over for a while. </div> <div style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Open Sans', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 1.714285714; margin-bottom: 1.714285714rem;"> I'm looking forward to the break. </div> </article> <article> <h1>See? See? Spiders Are Hellspawn.</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 21:49:00 +0000</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> I've frequently <a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/#!/2012/09/spiders-should-be-illegal.html" target="_blank">waxed eloquent on the subject of spiders</a>. I've even more frequently <a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/#!/2012/07/procrastination-and-great-spider-war.html" target="_blank">waxed ineloquent on the subject of spiders</a>. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> They are evil personified. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> <a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/#!/2012/09/spiders-should-be-illegal.html" target="_blank">I think Satan is a giant spider</a>. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> I hate them. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> And so on. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> But to my detractors who mock my terror and fraternize with the enemy, behold! I give you proof that spiders are not safe, not cute, and <a href="http://debbubbles.blogspot.ca/#!/2012/08/adventures-in-spiderland-and-doctors.html" target="_blank">should not be kept as pets</a>. At least by any sane person. (Hear that, hubby?) </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> They are evil, vicious killing machines. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> They are legion. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> They are tiny enough to invade our homes, where they lie in wait for us; eyes gleaming, fangs poised. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> Even the ones without the capacity to kill can still bite. And spider bites <em>hurt.</em> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> They are evil incarnate, and will swallow your soul if you let them. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> So don't. </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> Kill all spiders.</div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"> The end.</div> </article> <article> <h1>What's Your Default?</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 01:10:00 +0000</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> </div> <div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"> </div> <div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: justify;"> <br /></div> <br /> <br /> I used to walk around all the time with a smile on my face. My co-workers teased me by calling me "Smiley" and commented on how it made their day to see me because I always had a big, ear-to-ear smile on. Even when I was crying inside, my default facial expression was a smile. <br /> <br /> <br /> I walked with a spring in my step, a smile on my face; that was my default. <br /> <br /> I don't smile as much anymore. There's not so much spring in my step as slump. My default facial expression isn't a frown, but its second cousin; the set line. <br /> <br /> Why? I used to work where people could see me; for the sake of the customers I considered it my duty to smile. I smiled so much it was second nature. I was energetic, and I'm an impatient person by nature so I walked quickly and it put a bounce in my step. People used to perceive me as friendly even though I was shy because I was always smiling. They perceived me as happy even though I was depressed because of my smile and my bounciness. <br /> <br /> It's been years since I had a job where I had to smile for customers. I worked in a call centre until last year and while they encouraged us to smile, the customers did not. And since the customers couldn't see me and were frequently rude, I no longer had the unconscious urge to smile at them. It feels like it's been years since I had energy, so while I'm still an impatient person who walks at a fairly quick pace, it's not enough to add spring in my steps. <br /> <br /> I realized this today, and felt ashamed. How are my family less important than customers? Don't I want my children to have a Mommy who smiles all the time? Would they be better off with a mother who bounces around or one who plods? Didn't my husband fall in love with a girl who smiled all the time and bounced everywhere she went? <br /> <br /> The thing is that smiling and bouncing are habits, which is why I used to do them so effortlessly. The years have taken their toll on me, and broken the good habits I once had, forming new ones in their place. Not smiling and plodding are habits, too. And habits are hard to break. <br /> <br /> It takes effort to smile, unless you feel like it. It takes effort to bounce around like a happy bunny rabbit. And while my days of hippity hopping around may be at an end, I don't want my days of smiling to be. <br /> <br /> So, starting today onwards, I'm making the commitment to try to keep a smile on my face, as often as I think of it. Even when I'm alone, I intend to smile happily. <br /> <br /> Hopefully over time it will become a habit again. Hopefully as time passes, I'll begin to smile as effortlessly and unconsciously as I used to, even when there's nothing in particular to be smiling about. <br /> <br /> I want to be a smiling, bouncy mom. I want to be the smiley, bouncy girl my husband fell in love with again. <br /> <br /> What about you? What's your default? <br /> <br /> </article> <article> <h1>"Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die."</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Tue, 16 Oct 2012 22:37:00 +0000</p> The original quote goes,<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">"Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die". Tennyson was writing about soldiers riding to their deaths, but the tweaked quote actually provides some pretty good words to live by. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">Think about it. Life sucks sometimes. Stuff happens, and a lot of the time there doesn't seem to be a reason for it. You've gotta keep on going, or else give up and die. </span></span><br /> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;"><br /></span></span> <span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 19.200000762939453px;">If you don't do, you die. If you stand around reasoning why all the time, you're not doing. </span></span><br /> <br /> I ask, "Why?" a lot. <br /> <br /> Sometimes I ask, "Why me?" <br /> <br /> It occurred to me today that every time I say, "Why me?" I'm asking, "Why not someone else?"<br /> <br /> And frankly, I didn't like that. I wouldn't wish my troubles on anybody else any more than I wish them on me. <br /> <br /> It gave me some perspective. <br /> <br /> Instead of, "Why me?" I should be asking, "Why not me?" Am I any better than the next person? Why not me instead of someone else? Do I really deserve to struggle less than someone else? <br /> <br /> The more I think about it, the more I like this perspective. <br /> <br /> "Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die."<br /> <br /> I need to remember that. <br /> <br /> Ask Google why:<br /> <br /> Uhm, apparently there are people who want to own me. Since I'm Canadian. O.O I don't know if I should be frightened or flattered. </article> <article> <h1>"Braaaaaaains," Moans the Zombie; and I Am Not Heroic.</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 20:42:00 +0000</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> </div> <div> I've been thinking a lot about brains lately. I'll get to the zombies in a bit; first I wanna talk about brains. If that bores you just skip it. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> The human mind is an amazing thing. The way it works - or doesn't work - is fascinating. </div> <br /> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://brainbrilliance.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/brain1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Brains are like computers. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> A brain with ADD/ADHD is like a computer that periodically freezes, reboots, or starts randomly flipping through folders on its own. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I often think that my "computer" is very disorganized; folders and files all out of order, some folders empty when they shouldn't be, and a lot of folders hidden or password protected for no reason. Which makes it hard to think, remember, or explain things. The data is there; it's just all mixed up and jumbled around. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Like using a computer that has no organizational system. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I compare my brain to a lot of things; not just computers. I often say, "My train of thought is temporarily derailed." But I tend to think of computer analogies most often. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> It's not just ADD/ADHD that I use to draw comparisons between my brain and computers. I'm epileptic. I guess. Is there any "Sort-Of-Epilepsy"? They can't diagnose me because they can't figure out why I have seizures; not the cause or anything else. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> A seizure is like having your brain short-circuit. Everything that was working fine seconds ago goes haywire, and there's nothing you can do to stop it. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> It's scary. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I had two seizures last week, one right after the other. I regained consciousness in between, but not control of my motor functions. I lost control of my bladder. I couldn't move and couldn't stop anything that was happening. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I felt embarrassed, humiliated; ashamed. I felt helpless and terrified. I was stuck inside my body and I couldn't do anything. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I was so afraid that I was going to be trapped like that forever. It really wasn't very long but it felt like an eternity. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I was too afraid. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> That's my brain for you. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I haven't had a seizure in three and a half years. I'd had four seizures in my entire life, before last week. Now I've had six. Six seizures in almost twenty-five years. So I'm not used to it. They just pop up when everything starts going alright. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Having seizures like that; losing my license through no fault of my own really doesn't help my victim complex. But I can't drive now. I haven't been told that officially yet; but I know the drill and I don't intend to be on the road when it's possibly dangerous. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I had to move. Either drop out of school - which means paying back my student loans right away and we can't afford that - or move to residence and only see my family on weekends. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> So I'm living in residence. I have an awesome room-mate; one who doesn't party and is focused on school. I miss my hubby and my kids. I got invited to a party today and turned it down because, cool as it sounded, I need to focus on catching up on my assignments. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> All this because of my brain short-circuiting. Crazy what that "computer" can do. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> ****************</div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Speaking of brains, did you know that the US military is undergoing training for the Zombie Apocalypse? </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/17/zombie-apocalypse-training-halo-corp_n_1889724.html" target="_blank">It's true! Just click and read if you don't believe me.</a></div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I would die in the Zombie Apocalypse. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> </div> <div> </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I'm not being pessimistic. I'm being realistic. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I have weak lungs and can't run fast or far because I struggle to breathe when I try. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> When the Zombie Apocalypse comes, since I know I won't make it anyway, I could be heroic and sacrifice myself to buy time for my friends and family. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Except I'm not that self-sacrificing. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I would die for the ones I love, but I won't let myself be eaten alive for them. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I have this thing with pain, you see. I hate it. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> No, I would commit suicide before any zombies could get close to me. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> I'm not a coward. I'm just not a hero. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> What will you do in the Zombie Apocalypse? </div> <div> <br /></div> <div> Haven't thought that far ahead?</div> <div> <br /></div> <div> You should. It's coming. </div> <div> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://zombieapocalypseacademy.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/zombie-wallpaper001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> </article> <article> <h1>In All Seriousness</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 18:50:00 +0000</p> I stopped writing for a bit. A good friend of mine challenged me, unknowingly. He simply told me that he didn't read my blog anymore; because there are too many memes and cat pictures in it, and not enough substance. <br /> <br /> He said, "Is this really the image you want to project; as a writer?" <br /> <br /> I was ashamed, because in all truth, it's not. <br /> <br /> I like laughing. I like things that make me laugh and I like sharing those with other people. But there are other ways and places to do that. <br /> <br /> I'm not saying I won't use humour in this blog. I love humour. It's part of who I am. But that humour should come from me, not from lolcats. <br /> <br /> This blog is supposed to be where I get out everything that's inside my head and put it out there for the world to see; to show the world who I am. To speak my mind about the things that matter to me. To be true to myself. <br /> <br /> Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that, and let myself become a side-show attraction. <br /> <br /> I'm sorry. <br /> <br /> I won't be writing as often, for a bit. I have school, and that's going to take up a fair bit of my time. I also want to think more seriously about the things I write, and why. <br /> <br /> I want to be a writer that I can be proud to be. <br /> <br /> I'll keep posting funny pictures; under the second blog I have, labelled as "Pics That Make Me LOL". <br /> <br /> I'll share them on facebook, twitter, and tumblr. <br /> <br /> But here I'll try to be more real than that. <br /> <br /> I'll bare my soul for you, pour out my heart in my words. Because that's what writers do. <br /> <br /> I just forgot for a while. <br /> <br /> Thanks, Josh, for reminding me. </article> <article> <h1>School Daze and Other Related Items</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 01:53:00 +0000</p> I'm currently a student. Which would be less of a problem if I got sick less often. <br /> <br /> But instead I get sick and my head swells up like this,<br /> <br /> Making it hard for me to drive. <br /> <br /> I mean, I'm not a morning person to begin with,<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> But I'm on meds that make it hard for me to be clear-headed enough to drive early in the morning (All my classes are morning classes, or at least most of them are), and add to that some sickness and, hey! Presto! Not safe to drive! <br /> <br /> Which in turn makes it hard for me to get to class. <br /> <br /> I think I probably miss class due to hangover-like symptoms more often than the students who are actually hung-over. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> I sometimes wonder exactly what my immune system is doing. <br /> <br /> I mean, I have one, right? So what is it there for? To look pretty? <br /> <br /> My immune system is like the dumb blonde of immune systems that all the germs just have to say, "Hey, I'm safe" to and she'll let them pass. Cause never mind that this dude looks like anthrax, smells like anthrax, and has a big sign on his back that says, "Anthrax"; he said he was safe. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Meh. No offence to all you blondes out there; my mom's blonde, my sister's blonde, and I often describe myself as a closet blonde. And if you've been reading this blog for any length of time you know my level of functionality. Which is low. <br /> <br /> I'm just depressed that my immune system is as ADHD as I am. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Speaking of which, I want this shirt: <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> Ok. Would totally make my life complete. <br /> <br /> Moving on. <br /> <br /> I'm going to invest in the Rosetta Stone Learning Program next semester. Because I realized that my daughter is in French immersion, will be learning French and needing help with her homework and I. Won't. Be. Able. To. Help. Her. <br /> <br /> And that's just gonna be sad. <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> My hubby knows French, but he isn't always going to have time to help her with her homework, and doesn't have time to teach me French. Plus, after having his help learning to drive, I think I'd kill him if he tried to teach me another language. <br /> <br /> Sadly, that's not really a joke. <br /> <br /> Having someone correct you every 3.5 seconds gets old after the first five minutes or so when you've heard their voice for the umpteenth time and you're starting to think how great their head would look through that window over there... <br /> <br /> You can only learn so much before you start tuning out their voice because it just keeps repeating things you already know, as you're doing them. <br /> <br /> Of course, I already knew how to drive and had taken Driver's Ed; I just hadn't taken the test yet. But I still say that his teaching style before we got married was awesome and his teaching style after we got married stunk. <br /> <br /> Sorry, I just couldn't resist. <br /> <br /> We actually do love each other and all. It just makes for funnier blog posts to harp on the negative BUT I'm well aware that too much negativity is bad. <br /> <br /> After all, you don't come here to hear me whine... or do you? Hmm, I wonder. <br /> <br /> A couple of funnies I found while writing this post: <br /> <br /> </article> <article> <h1>A Day At The Art Supplies Clearance.</h1> <p>noreply@blogger.com (DeiStarr) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 01:25:00 +0000</p> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiD9XrUsTa3sjAONY3ChwlCgHOpjSflaBXeePOsKKOeyfpAKWM2L_RgLH21ei9Yyc1CLr8bFVO2rMuE5KESjBSqi-ZNany7ULn37-_sXXAOCbpSPjROFO6uD0VWIGuHQpWT7jaaa29_EaE/s1600/3023-450x-__funny_signs_5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <span style="text-align: left;">I spent the day browsing in an art supplies clearance. </span> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="text-align: start;">It was awesome.</span> </div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSAtEUHur3uKoTGBXymOv1yfWmOBpLt-a4TIPltb4voVyJ8Qnp9FJPbd9h4BQ48wGUlRL_6r0S8EM4iDQXON6tTdDhPLdkRSOeR_MliyFUT-r78oX301sD5rEsf1Jl-sL4xCiA7DpxJ98/s1600/2012-08-19+15.12.01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglzhzfX5ZiPag9qkN5eznPBcuiPqSwcV73nuDjuKY6Wv3u75P8p7Yvs6bDiYPM9Ol1Dhv4xD8mRUfYRMNQV4AUc5dLfVFvJU8DIVk950zSLi5AApJaTS5BnYG8D7N6Mof-xUI1GODbIA8/s1600/2012-08-19+15.12.19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbJy9PSQEhU77bZL4DN86owacEJkjc2z4q__vcazBKwb7jGieE_nzC8iEkuVTrIt1sxkcN9XtD_xH0yb0FJWu2dT7bkJ01zINdS-rafwRvLiM1MKyaVSDQCbt9WO-ZZfvb71zh1Mj41gU/s1600/2012-08-19+15.12.31.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVFWrn4Mtaqh0Uv52gJf7eB_IPq-R1ZDLI9XQO5tJPY59xkD-2xRpJRPvWqzYltU_2SuABW6q1p_HQS14EaKjr7Xd6sYilQXwIUJ-QmVVw3T8l1Eh4qOcWEb70hdTuGwSj-cduy9rbJjM/s1600/2012-08-19+15.26.24.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> ...You can't tell I had fun. ;-)</div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> <br /></div> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"> If you live in the London, Ontario area, comment and I'll tell you where it is. </div> </article> </main></body></html>