In Ashleigh's Palace

Week 4: Keeping Your House Tidy

2012-08-05T02:37:00.001-07:00

Today I want to bring up the topic of keeping your homes and possessions neat and tidy.

You may ask why you should keep your house clean. Well, a Queen / Princess won't live in a messy house would she? Think about it like this. You walk into a person's house, there is a pile of dishes in the sink, shoes and socks all over the living room floor and the toilet hasn't been cleaned for weeks. What does that tell you about the other person? It would tell me that they cannot be trusted to look after the possessions they have. It tells me that they cannot manage their time effectively. It also tells me that the person doesn't expect to be treated in a respectful manner.

Many women in the modern world don't have the luxury of having servants to clean their house. Most women are working a full day job, then coming home to a second job as a housekeeper.

Some people wonder how are they supposed to have a clean home without a servant and with children and husbands messing it up all the time. I don't have a perfect system for this. The best system I have found though is FlyLady. A lot of the system needs to be adjusted to suit your needs, but I strongly recommend taking a look.

It is also vitally important to make sure that everyone in your household contributes to keeping it neat and tidy. You are all living in the house so everyone needs to contribute to keeping it clean. A list can be found here on chores according to a child's age. You'll notice that children as young as 2-4 years old can help with certain chores already.

Now, I cannot give advice on how to convince children to do chores, or even another adult in the house (since I am a family of 1 right now). What I can do is give you a few tips on motivating yourself to keep your household tidy.

Pick a spot and keep it clean at all times. Flylady's spot is the kitchen sink. I use this spot too, but I've heard of people using the dining room table, the coffee table in the living room, the spare room bed or even the dressing table in their bedroom. Make sure that whenever you go into that room, or see that spot then it is clean. Most importantly it must be clean before you go to bed at night.
Pick a spot in each room. Once you have your key spot to keep clean. Pick a spot in each room of the house that gets messed up quickly. Work on keeping that spot in each room clean at all times. In my bedroom, it is my bed. In the living room, the coffee table. In the study, my desk. In the bathroom, the shelf behind the bath. In the kitchen, the sink and table. Your spots don't have to be the same as mine, but they can be if it helps you.
Work outwards from that spot. When you clean the room, clean the spot first then work outwards in a spiral from that spot.

These 3 steps usually get me into the mode where I can start cleaning. There are numerous resources out there that give advice on the details of cleaning. A little research through Google will bring up lots of tips and tricks.

Good Luck! I'm struggling along with you on this one!

Week 3: Exercise Regularly

2012-07-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

I have a new challenge for you this week. I want you to develop an exercise routine that will suit you.

You see a Queen or Princess doesn’t have all that excess flab, they are not lazy because they are royalty, they look after themselves. Kate (who married Prince William) played field hockey (among other sports). Even doing some stretches and walking on the spot for 5 minutes is better than nothing. My grandmother has a very simple morning exercise routine and she climbed a mountain at 87! Granted, it was a small mountain, more of a large hill really, but she still did it!

Now, I admit, that I have never been one for jogging or any form of exercise really. I enjoy walking, but I dislike walking while it is still cold and dark. I enjoy Wii Fit, but I keep putting off doing it.

I am taking a challenge however. I am joining Shape Magazine’s challenge to train to run 10km in 12 weeks. Wow – this is going to be a big one for me, especially since running is the sport I have enjoyed the least in my lifetime.

My dad was a jogger though, he finished the Comrades Marathon and the Two Ocean’s Marathon 6 times each!

While I have no intention of doing any marathons yet, I’m definitely going to try to start jogging. Especially since we are heading into summer here in South Africa.

So here is my challenge to you. Find an exercise routine that works for you in this next week, then I want you to do it at least 3 times a week.

If you want to join me on the Shape Challenge here is the link to the challenge website:

Shape 10km in 12 weeks challenge

You don’t have to do this one, but let’s do something. Remember, treat yourself like a Queen and the world will follow.

Week 2: Look your best

2012-07-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

Due to my holiday, I skipped last week’s post about treating yourself like a Queen. Remember, you are a Queen or Princess in your household and you need to treat yourself like one then other people will follow and also treat you like one.

Today I want to talk about looking your best every day.

This is a big thing for me because I’m the sort of person who will take whichever shirt is on the top of the pile of shirts, then find a skirt and shoes to match it. If it is winter I’ll throw on a few layers to keep warm, but my entire clothing decision usually rests on what shirt is at the top of my pile of clothing that morning.

Some things that I think I should mention about myself:

I don’t wear make-up unless I am going on a date or I have to dress up for some reason.
I don’t wear heals unless I am going out for dinner or I’m going to a wedding.
I very seldom wear pants. Once I was a tomboy and wouldn’t be caught dead in a dress/skirt, but I’ve changed my thinking on that recently.
I don’t paint my nails in any way other than a plain French manicure unless I’m dressing up for something.

I have personal reasons for these decisions that are rooted in my beliefs regarding woman and modest dress. I am not here to lecture you, and I don’t expect everyone to believe the same as me, so I’m going to drop the topic now.

Now I am wanting to talk about us, as Queens/Princesses and dressing/looking our best every day. Why should we look our best?

If we take the time to dress and take pride in our appearance in the morning, it will overflow into our daily lives. If we know we made an effort and we look our best, then the people around us will pick up on it and treat us accordingly.
Renew love with your husband (or turn heads if single).
1. Many of the women reading this are married to loving husbands, you owe it to him to dress in a way that he will be proud of. If you are in your sweatpants the whole day, don’t you think he would be unwilling to bring friends or a business partner home with him unexpectedly?
2. Many of the women reading this are single and looking. You don’t know when your husband will be brought into your life. I’m sure that the right man for you won’t disappear because you are wearing sweatpants to the grocery store, but how embarrassing would it be if you are in your pyjama's and he shows up at your door with a bouquet of flowers and an engagement ring?
  1. Story Example: I heard a story about a single woman who was running a day care, normally she was in her most comfy clothes when the mom’s brought their children in the morning. One morning a different man stopped by with one of the boys, he was the single uncle who was babysitting the kids while the parents were off on vacation for a week. That specific morning the woman had decided to dress up nicely to pamper herself. He fell head over heals for her, later the week he offered to stay and help her in the day care, a few months later they were married, last I heard they were still happily married. Later he said that he may not of even taken notice of her if she was wearing her comfy clothes, and he fondly describes the ankle length denim skirt, flower blouse and ballet flats she was wearing that day. It was only on the second day that he noticed her beautiful personality that matched the outfit.

So now comes the next question: What can we do to look our best?

Practice good hygiene
1. Bath/Shower regularly (daily if possible)
2. Brush your teeth morning and night
3. Wash your hair as often as it needs it.
4. Wear deodorant / perfume
Take pride in your outfit (but don’t become vain)
1. Choose your clothes the night before
2. Make sure there are no holes in your clothes (unless they are button holes)
3. Clothes should be crease free
4. Clothes shouldn’t be too large or two small
5. Cover up! – I cannot stress this enough. If you go outside looking like a street corner business woman, then people will treat you like one. Dress respectfully and you will be treated respectfully.
6. Wear something feminine – A pretty bow, a floral skirt, a pink shirt etc. Just one feminine item or accessory will make you shine in your womanly glory and make you feel more lady-like.
7. Make an effort with your hair and make-up (if you wear make-up). If you don’t wear make-up (like me) try simply a moisturizer or face cream that is not noticeable, just doing that can make you feel like you have had a professional make-up artist do your face for the day.
Dress appropriately
1. A woman in a red formal dress will turn heads at the grocery store, but it isn’t really suitable to grocery shopping occasion. The same with a woman wearing jeans to a formal dance. Dress in a way appropriate to the occasion.

And that is my advice. Remember you are a Queen / Princess. If you treat yourself like one, then other people will treat you like one.

Week 1: Dinner fit for a Queen

2012-07-07T15:01:00.000-07:00

You are the queen of your household, unless you live with a parent/guardian, in which case you are a princess of your household. And as a Queen or Princess you deserve to sit down to a meal as though you were one.

So for this week. I want you to set the table as though you are preparing for a royal guest, yourself. You don’t have to go out and buy fancy things, use what you have got.

Here is my royal table setting:

Please take not of a few items (clockwise from 12 o’clock).

A bottle of wine – If you don’t feel like alcohol with the meal or you don’t drink alcohol then some cranberry juice in a wine shaped bottle is great to pretend with! I don’t know if anybody else played restaurant as a child, but I did. A bottle of wine (make-believe of course) was always at the table from the time I was 10-12 years old.
A pitcher of fresh water – add some lemons and fresh mint leaves for a little something extra special.
The water goblet
The wine goblet
A soup spoon
A bread / butter knife
A dinner knife
A soup bowl (which I used for pasta on this occasion)
A dinner plate underneath (which I didn’t use on this occasion)
A placemat – notice how it is just one of those cheap plastic placemats, I don’t have better than that so I make do with what I have.
A dinner fork
A linen napkin
A bread plate
Salt
Pepper (I don’t have salt and pepper shakers, I use the ones I bought salt and pepper in from the shop)
A butter bowl (with butter in it)

I was only feeding myself on this occasion, so I only set the table for 1 person, but I recommend doing this for yourself and your family. If you are the Queen of your household, then your husband is the King and your children are Princes and Princesses. It is a treat to you and them to dine like royalty.

Some extra notes:

If you are single: Do not do this for a man until you have been exclusive with him for some time. He is not the king of your household until you have said the wedding vows, however that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t treat him as though he is a royal guest… just don’t give pearls to pigs. And don’t treat him like a King, he is only the royal guest (like a duke, knight or a lord) you are the Queen.
If you have a husband who won’t appreciate this: Then don’t expect him to do it with you, but do it for yourself and the children. I am sure that over time he will realise what he is missing out on and join you at the table… do not try and force him, just go ahead and do it for yourself, even if it is just once a week. The Queen does not force the King’s hand.
Haven’t seen the surface of your table in months? I recommend that you set a timer and spend 15 minutes a day clearing the table. Then on the day that the table is clear celebrate by doing this, and doing it every meal from there on.

Introduction

2012-07-04T02:22:00.001-07:00

Welcome to my palace. This is the place where I am the ruler and I treat myself like royalty (evil laugh). Seriously though, I strongly believe that other people treat you the same way you treat yourself, so if you treat yourself with love and respect, others will begin to see you as a person who is worthy of being treated with love and respect.

A lady can treat herself respectfully in many ways, most of which won’t cost huge amounts of money, like manicures and spa beauty treatments. You can do these things for yourself in the comforts of your own home.

In this blog I’m going to give a weekly Treat Yourself Better challenge. Just jump right in wherever I am. Hope you enjoy the blog!