In Heels

Toy Story Costume: Jessie

2013-11-19T13:24:00.002-05:00

For the second year in a row, we decided to dress up as a group for Halloween. Since Nate wanted to be Buzz Lightyear, that made it easy: I would be Jessie and Evan would be Woody.

Here's how I made my Jessie costume:

The Cowgirl Shirt

After striking out at three different thrift stores, I buckled and bought a white button-down shirt at Old Navy for $24. I bought yellow felt, red acrylic yarn (yick! but cheap!), and red ribbon at the fabric store. Because my shirt opens, I had to make two separate pieces - slightly different from the "real Jessie." To make sure everything lined up properly, I created two pattern pieces using regular ole tissue paper.

Between the existing yolk and placket of the Old Navy shirt and all of the curved lines of my planned embellishments, I didn't even consider sewing this! I used a goodly amount of fabric glue on each piece, being careful to follow the directions on the bottle. The glue dried clear.

The Yarn Wig

This project was easier than I thought it would be. To begin, I did a little online research (check out the cute pigtail version they made over at Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy). Then I gathered up red yarn, red felt, and my sewing machine and got started!

I had trouble with what I thought would be the easiest part: measuring out the yarn! I wanted my wig to be long enough for a decent side braid - and almost immediately it became tangled up in my hands as I unwound the skein. I solved the problem by using the legs of my dining room table instead. Rolling that much yarn back and forth and back and forth hurt my old back (and drove my dog bananas!) - but it worked like a champion! Win!

I used red felt as the base onto which the yarn would be sewn. To determine the length, I measured from my hairline to the nape of my neck. The 14in I needed was longer than my felt, so I had to sew two pieces together to get the desired size. I also cut my base about 2.5in wide. )You'll see some people online using really thin strips of felt for this, but that made me nervous. I don't want this falling apart while I Trick-or-Treat!) After cutting the ends, I laid the yarn out, found the center, and pinned the top felt to the bottom, sandwiching the yarn and creating the "part." I sewed the widest zig-zag stitch my machine produces down the center of the felt, slowly removing the top piece as I went along. I'll admit that the machine jammed up twice AND that it was a pain to fix. Otherwise, this was a straightforward part of the costume.

Chaps and Accessories

I cheated on the chaps, so I didn't even take pictures. I literally laid the fabric along each leg of an old pair of jeans and cut to match. Then I safety-pinned each "chap" to the jeans from the inside.

The cuffs, belt, yellow hair bow, and hat were all part of a Jessie Accessory Kit.

Handprint Christmas Tree Skirt

2011-12-14T10:02:00.000-05:00

Last year, in the reader response section of Real Simple magazine, I read about a mom who painted her children’s handprints onto their Christmas tree skirt each year. Not only was it a creative way to display their growth, but eventually, all of the handprints started to look like big snowflakes scattered around the skirt. I LOVED the idea, and made a version of my own.

The skirt was made using Simplicity pattern 1234, version C. Because there will eventually be handprints all over it, I simply used solid red and green fabric.

I then painted each of my son’s hands with white fabric paint and pressed them onto the skirt side-by-side. I was afraid he’d wiggle around, so we cut out hand-shaped holes into wax paper as a barrier. This turned out to be overkill – but better safe than sorry! The year was written next to the handprints using fabric paint pen.

It looks a little barren right now with only the two tiny handprints on the entire skirt, but I’m excited to see how it will change as the years pass by and he grows and grows!

Footprint Christmas Cards

2011-12-07T08:56:00.000-05:00

I did it again: I found something I loved on Pinterest (follow me!), pinned it, and then made one of my own! Yippy!

This project was deliciously simple and turned out beautifully! I started by grabbing some white paper and acrylic paint. I painted the bottom of my son’s feet green and his little toes red; there were lots of accompanying giggles. I pressed each foot onto a separate piece of paper and then let it dry while I carted him off to the tub.

Once the pages were dry, I scanned them and then manipulated them into overlapping images that looked like a Christmas tree in Photoshop. I drew the trunk and star in Photoshop as well. That’s all! I printed the cards on Avery Half-fold greeting cards, which I’ll admit were expensive ($13 for a pack of 20), but I think the end result was worth it.

Now I need to start planning for next year’s card. After this handmade gem, a store-bought card just won’t do!

Breezy Meadows Scarf

2011-12-05T10:42:00.000-05:00

At long last, I have finished my Breezy Meadow’s scarf!

Last May I went on my first “Fiber Farm Crawl.” It was terrific! We toured 5 different farms, met the proprietors, and best of all … met all of the animals! Llamas, goats, sheep, rabbits, and last but not least … the adorable alpacas!

As a knitter, it was thrilling to go behind-the scenes of fiber production! It’s wild to pet an animal, watch it walking around, and then realize that eventually the fur you’re touching will be sheared, cleaned, carded, spun, and then knit into something like this scarf!

I purchased this yummy wool at our second stop that day, Breezy Meadows Farm. I love the natural color – and it’s so soft! The pattern is called Eton’s Scarf and is available for free on the Mellow Being blog. It’s simple – but the result is classic and adorable. My only complaint is that with 42 stitches across, it’s a tad time consuming. I kept getting bored with it and switching to other projects, so it took way longer to complete than it should’ve.

But – complete it is! I’m pleased with the end product. And – the width that I complained about while knitting will be W-A-R-M in the snowy winter!

Breezy Meadows Scarf

Close up of pattern

Llambs at Breezy Meadows

Hello, handsome!

Handmade Wrapping Paper

2011-11-30T09:58:00.000-05:00

Inspiration struck at Lowes. You read correctly: Lowes. A few times a year, Lowes publishes a magazine of seasonal project ideas. This year, their holiday edition featured hand-painted wrapping paper that I fell in love with! Of course, they used materials from the store while I raided my local craft center – but the end result was the same.

For supplies, I used basic brown craft paper, acrylic paint (in red, green, white, and black), and sponge brushes. I used circular-shaped brushes for the smaller dots and hand-drew the circles using standard brushes for the larger dots. The free-handed circles aren’t perfect, nor are they all the same size – but I like the hand-made feel.

To keep the rustic-looking motif, I used regular twine in lieu of ribbon. I must admit, the really cleverly wrapped gifts in the photographs were the creations of my husband. The man is a gift-wrapping artist!

Kids' Table Fashion

2011-11-24T09:01:00.000-05:00

We’re headed to Nebraska for Thanksgiving!

To really get into the spirit, I used the last of my freecycled fabric to make Nate and his cousins matching turkey tee shirts. I used the same, patterned fabric to stitch their names on the back. They were a big hit on Thanksgiving day! In fact, as I watched cousins pouring into the house (there were over 15 kids in the “great grandchildren picture), I found myself wishing I’d made shirts with names for ALL of the children!

Monogrammed Baby Onesies

2011-11-21T17:36:00.000-05:00

What do you give to the mom who has everything?

Well. Not technically. But, in this case, I needed to give a unique baby gift to a friend who already has twin toddlers. That means she already owns the requisite baby equipment … times two! And I didn’t want to knit something. First, I’m a S.L.O.W. knitter, so odds of the “baby” having a driver’s license by the time I finished the garment are high. And second, this particular mom is the Domestic Knitter. So, I felt like it would be akin to giving cupcakes to your friend the baker.

So I came up with this: monogrammed, hand-dyed onesies. Dana over at Made had dyed onesies and I totally loved the idea! It makes them so unique! Out came the Rit dye!

Next, I made five different freezer paper stencils of the letter S (for baby Sebastian).

Now he has onesies in fun colors with his initial on them – so no mistaking them as big brother’s hand-me-downs!

Switching to Autumn Plants & Flowers

2011-11-09T12:17:00.000-05:00

In October, I thought I was ready to put the garden to bed for the year, but once I got my hands dirty, I changed my mind. Some of the plants, including my ornamental grasses and Liriope (which we call monkey grass in the South), still looked terrific. Instead, I cleared out all of the spent flowers and fading perennials and replaced them with some hardy chrysanthemums and pansies.

Before

I’ve always loved the “very late blooming” mums that are available at my local nursery. My goal is to keep color in my garden as long as possible, so the very late bloomers are perfect – they won’t bloom until close to Thanksgiving.

Then there are the pansies - an awesome little flower with an unfortunate name! Based on the name, you’d think a pansy would wither and die at the first cool breeze. Instead, I’ve had pansies remain in bloom through snow storms! This year I was lucky to find these beautiful rust-colored specimens.

Rust Petunias

This weekend, it was time to finally cut everything back and re-mulch. Although most people don’t cut back their perennials (especially grasses), I’ve found that doing so revitalizes the plant and helps the overall shape when it returns in the spring.

It’s time consuming, but worthwhile. It might be my natty nature showing, but seeing the before/after actually relaxes me a little! Everything is all tidy and ready for winter!

After

Nate helps clean the pond filter

Applique Tees

2011-11-07T17:22:00.000-05:00

Although I didn’t sew all of these completely by myself, I had to share some of the appliquéd tee shirts I’ve made over the last few months. I was completely inspired by Melissa’s adorable creations at Sew Like My Mom! She makes the most precious shirts and uses the cutest fabrics.

Whale Tee

Close up - I hand embroidered the spout

I’d recently been given a stack of fabrics from a friend in my knitting group who was clearing out years of fabric build-up in her attic. These fabrics screamed out for appliqué; they were too dated for a full garment, but groovy and trippy enough to be perfect in small doses! These projects were perfect for a beginner sewer as I learned control the machine on select parts of all of them. For other, trickier twists and turns, I stood over watching as my mom taught. It was a great hands-on learning project that resulted in some seriously cute tee shirts!

Trippy Van Tee

Close Up

For this manly necktie tee shirt, I used the pattern from another great blog, Saltwater Kids. For the record, I use Heat-n-Bond Lite as my fusible web.

Fishey Tee

Casual Friday Tee

Pumpkin Carving Party

2011-10-31T11:56:00.000-04:00

Here are a few pictures from the pumpkin-carving party. It was BYOP (Bring Your Own Pumpkin) and my husband wisely set up the Gutting Station in the garage. We had another kid-sized table set up in the basement along with patterns and an assortment of carving tools. As pumpkins were finished, they were scattered around in the front garden for display.

As favors for the kids, I made “Ghost Poop.” I’m completely in love with Pinterest (follow me!), but want to actually MAKE the things I pin – not just pin and pin and pin. So this was my first effort. Is it cheating that my first project was to put mini-marshmallows in a bag and write “Ghost Poop” on it? I say no! I said I wanted to create the things I pinned … not create the difficult things I pin. So the Poop counts! J

Finally, I have to show off my husband’s Death Star pumpkin. He found one online and was dying to give it a shot. The online version was impressively detailed and probably took weeks of planning and carving. Evan was able to bust his out in just under an hour! The bright red light is achieved by using a road flare inside the pumpkin instead of a candle. It’s one of his favorite tricks!

Friday in Heels: Googley Eye Pumps

2011-10-28T08:58:00.001-04:00

I covet these in a major way! The pair below are called Deja Vu by Christian Louboutin and retail for a paltry $1500.00. However, I found a handmade pair that was equally as adorable through Pinterest. Pop over to Glitter N' Glue and check out what she was able to do with standard pumps, a few bags of eyeballs, and some glue. Adorable! And such a fun way to be festive on Halloween at work without dressing up!

There are still three days until Halloween – give these beauties a try!

Photo courtesy of HIGHSNOBETTE.

Learning to Cut

2011-10-27T09:46:00.000-04:00

I spent Monday evening happily ensconced in my mom’s sewing room learning how to layout and cut patterns. Yippy! A real-life sewing lesson!

Although it didn’t seem like it at the time, I actually learned a lot about reading patterns. After cutting out the appropriate pieces for the garment I chose (a Halloween apron), I learned about the construction of fabric (hello, selvage!) and how the placement and alignment of the individual pieces (what up, grainline!) effects the integrity of the finished garment.

I also learned that if you aren’t careful, you’ll stab yourself repeatedly with the 2,300 straight pins you need to secure all of the pattern pieces. Ouchie!

I'm LOVING the book Stitch by Stitch: Learning to Sew, One Project at a Time, by Deborah Moebes. Her descriptions are simply-written and the photography is instructive. Plus it's just an adorable book! I must say, however, that nothing compares to someone sitting down on the floor and teaching you in person. Many thanks to Mamma for staying up late with me!

I still need to whip-stitch the waistband before the apron is 100% complete. Stay tuned for the big reveal of My First Garment!

Oatmeal Suprise Cookies

2011-10-25T13:55:00.000-04:00

The biting wind and blowing leaves has left me itching to bake and bake and bake! I finally got to last night when I tried another recipe from Taste of Home’s Fall Baking magazine. I’m happy to report that they are delicious!

I love when a recipe goes according to plan – you follow the instructions and the end result looks exactly like it does in the picture. These definitely did. My only note is on pumpkin pie spice. The recipe calls for 1 teaspoon, but I accidently used about 1 ½ (Oops! Spill.). Even with the extra, you barely taste the spice. It’s like a little “hmmmm” every other bite. I love the pumpkin flavor, so I’d rather it be in every, single bite. Next time I might kick it up to 2 (purposeful) teaspoons. Or maybe add a little cinnamon. Adding chocolate-covered raisins was genius!

Yummy! Yummy! Yummy!

Packaged up for the neighbors

Decorating for Halloween

2011-10-24T11:51:00.000-04:00

This week I discovered an art form I didn’t know existed: The art of hanging spider web.

We’re having a few friends and neighbors over for a pumpkin carving party next weekend and I wanted to transform the basement into a super-spooky zone for the kids. I did this by covering everything that wasn’t moving in spider web. As I worked, I learned a few valuable lessons:

1. Spider web goes a looooong way. I bought five bags. It turns out that’s roughly enough to cover the entire outside of our home.

2. Scotch tape doesn’t hold the fibers very well – but it’s basically your only option. I hooked the web onto objects wherever I could, but in some places (especially the ceiling), I needed to tape it. Ensure there’s enough tape on the surface you’re taping TO or it’ll all fall down.

3. The key to hanging realistic-looking spider web is to stretch-stretch-stretch! If you just take big hunks of it and lay it around, it looks fake. The thinner you can stretch the web, the more it starts to look like actual spider web.

In an effort to always give credit where credit is due, I must thank my Mom for these lessons. It turns out, she’s a web-hanging MASTER!

On the bookshelves

Stretched all over the staircase

Friday in Heels: Ursula Plaid Pump

2011-10-21T09:19:00.001-04:00

Oh happy day! I am now 5’8”!

Drink in the awesomeness of my Ursula Plaid Pumps by Lulu Townsend. Because of their 4” stacked heels, I was having eye-to-eye conversations with the men in the office on Monday! The red plaid is adorable; it’s got that school-girl look in the fall and will look intentionally spirited when Christmastime finally arrives. The faux patent leather trim is also great, although a little prickly in spots.

And believe this – they are comfortable! They were a little tight in the morning, but broke in as the day went on. I’m honestly looking forward to wearing them again. OH! And two separate guys at work complimented them. My shoes! Guys just don’t notice these things. One of them even said I had a “killer shoe game!” Victory!

Buy yours here.

Pink Week: Tata Cupcakes

2011-10-20T09:21:00.000-04:00

I did a Google search for inspiration and discovered some SERIOUSLY GOOD tata cupcakes! Especially these, made with fondant. With no time for fondant I simply used white icing for the base, a star-tipped bag of pink for the areola, and red spice drops for the nipples. The first nipple had that “National Geographic” look, so I cut the remaining drops in half. They aren’t as lifelike as the fondant versions, but they got a huge laugh … and they were yummy!

Pink Week: Pumpkins

2011-10-19T09:35:00.001-04:00

I was drooling over SweeterThanSweets fantastic “no-carve” pumpkins on Pinterest when I spotted the Breast Cancer Awareness versions by The Swell Life.

My ribbon pumpkin took two tries. I originally used an orange pumpkin to disastrous results. Since I ignored Alexa’s instruction to seal the painting surface, I had trouble with the foam brush removing the paint as I added layers. Plus, multiple layers didn’t cover the orange and pink + orange = gross purple mess. I got another white pumpkin started over. The white pumpkin was a dream to paint – even without prepping the surface. Another lesson learned is to always sketch with pencil as it took three coats of white to cover the pen I used.

I used Gem-tac to attach the rhinestones to the Bedazzled Pumpkin.

Pink Week: Hand-Dyed Tee Shirts

2011-10-18T09:24:00.000-04:00

This project was inspired by both Project Runway and by Dana’s Fall Dye Bath project at Made. I always love when the PR contestants reinvent a horrendous fabric with dye, I just never had a practical application. Dana’s autumnal onesies are adorable … but my son isn’t wearing onesies anymore and I didn’t want to dye tee shirts without a project in mind. However, when my mom’s 3-Day Walk rolled around I had the perfect excuse. Clearly we all needed matching pink tee shirts to wear to the cheering stations!

I used Tulip Permanent Fabric Dye in “tulip” color. I started by just dyeing one 24-month-sized tee, so I just used the one-time powder packet.

The manufacturer’s instructions called for STEAMING HOT water, so I used a stainless steel stock pot on the stovetop. That way I could control the temperature of the water and not have to worry about the dye coloring the pot.

For this shirt, the hour of dye time suggested was perfect. It was a 100% cotton Granimals tee shirt, so it soaked up the color immediately. The next night I did another batch with two adult-sized tee shirts and an hour was not enough. The shirts were pink, but they never reached the deep fuchsia color of the toddler tee.

Friday in Heels: Jessica Simpson Pump

2011-10-14T08:26:00.003-04:00

Allow me to introduce my spectacular Jessica Simpson Platinum Metalic Herringbone Pumps. Purchased by my mother in August at Nordstrom for $98, they suffered a 2-month waiting period before I deemed it “fall-like-enough” to actually be worn. The manufacturer’s picture below doesn’t quite do them justice, as they’re more an army green than grey. The black trim is gros-grain, which is adorably cute – especially juxtaposed against the hardness of the studs.

When it comes to wearability, the news isn’t so rosy. They felt like new leather school shoes. The one’s you whined about and your mother said “just need to be broken in!” The fit was fine, they were just … tight! I wore them for about 10 hours without blisters or weeping, but I doubt they’ll make a reappearance at work. As Oprah would say, these are 3 hour shoes.

Added bonus: the heel is very high, so when I wear them, I am TALL!

Get your own pair here.

Susan G. Komen Yarn Wreath

2011-10-12T12:23:00.001-04:00

Mamma is participating in the Susan G. Koman 3-Day walk this weekend. When I saw a yarn wreath on Pinterest yesterday, I thought how adorable a pink wreath would look hanging on her front door! And the project looked so easy – just wrap a wreath form in yarn 12,000 times and tie on a ribbon. I used about half of a Red Heart skein in Petal Pink. I followed the advice online and used a plastic-covered straw form. I got 4” wide fuchsia ribbon for the bow.

The result:

The wreath really turned out adorably! I wanted it to be cheap and at only $12 it was. Time was the only negative. Online crafters estimated 20 minutes but it took me over an hour. Granted, I don’t know what size wreaths they made and I went for the big 18-incher. I’m also not convinced that the plastic-covered straw form was easier than foam would’ve been. The plastic surface was smooth, but the straw poked out in spots and I had to jam it down so the yarn wouldn’t get caught.

Finally, I don’t know that it will stand the test of time. I did what other crafters did and simply wrapped – there was no gluing. That made it faster, but it’s also unstable. Since the yarn is on the plastic, if you pick it up without care, the yarn moves. It’s no biggie to move it back and realign … I just don’t know how it will look in a year.

Fall Mulching

2011-10-07T10:45:00.003-04:00

My darling husband and I got into a little row this morning … over mulch! Yes. Mulch.

Last Year: Before

Each fall, I schedule a day or two to “take down” my garden. By October, the vegetables have passed their productivity dates and most of the flowers – although still in bloom – are leggy, faded, and tired looking. Since the front garden is about 90% perennial by design, most of the plants benefit from a good, healthy trim – in many cases all the way to the ground. Clearing everything out before winter is good for the plants, the soil, the root systems, the worms … everyone!

Last Year: Mid Take-Down

Today, Evan admitted he finds it ridiculous that I mulch the garden in the fall. His argument is two-pronged:

Argument One: It’s silly to remove all of the summer mulch.

The research: The internet does not agree on this issue. Some say leaving old mulch invites disease and rodents. Others say the old mulch will decompose and turn into healthy organic matter (thus benefiting the garden) if left alone.

My response: I don’t remove the summer mulch on purpose exactly. When I’m weeding and removing debris, a good portion of the summer mulch goes with it. Besides, by October, there’s not much left to remove anyway.

Argument Two: It’s silly to mulch in the fall, especially so thickly.

The research: From MotherEarthNews: Mulch must be deep enough to prevent existing weed seeds from germinating. Weeds need light to germinate; those trying to sprout under mulch sprout in darkness and wither away. If mulch is applied too thinly, weeds may still find their way through.

My response: I want my garden to be beautiful for as long as possible. Clearing out all of the summer plants, adding mums and pansies, and polishing it off with a thick coat of mulch makes things look less sparse until the snow falls. Using a goodly amount means I can rake up leaves all fall and still have enough left to protect the roots and soil during snowy months.

So ... since the garden is basically my territory, I’ll definitely be mulching! I just don’t know how much help I’ll get from Mr. Naysayer. Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion!

Zucchini Bread in Heels

2011-10-05T09:21:00.001-04:00

Ah, fall! With the ginger cookies under my belt, I’ve moved on to breads. Yesterday, I doctored a zucchini bread recipe from America’s Best Recipes 2002. For example, I used 2 eggs and 1 egg white instead of the 3 eggs in the original recipe. I used carrot puree instead of applesauce. And I added 1 cup of dried cranberries instead of walnuts or pecans. I was VERY tempted to play with the flour … maybe use some whole wheat instead of only all-purpose. Perhaps I’ll try that next time.

As with many bread recipes, this made enough for two loaves. Bonus! I froze the second loaf for later this fall.

Happily, the end result was just as tasty as the original – only with less “bad stuff” and more hidden fruits and veggies for the tater tot!

Zucchini Bread In Heels

2 cups sugar

1 cup canola oil

2 eggs

1 egg white

2 teaspoons vanilla

¼ cup + 1 tablespoon orange juice

2 cups shredded zucchini

½ cup carrot puree

3 cups all-purpose flour

2 teaspoons baking soda

¾ teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon salt

1 ½ teaspoon cinnamon

¾ teaspoon nutmeg

1 cup dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Combine sugar and next four ingredients in a bowl and mix until blended. Add zucchini, carrot puree, and orange juice and mix well. In a separate bowl, combine the flour and next five ingredients. Add the cranberries to the flour, being sure they are well coated. Slowly stir the flour mixture into the zucchini mix and then pour the batter into the loaf pans.

Bake for 1 hour to 1 hour 10minutes or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Cool on wire racks.

I’m excited to hear what you think, so let me know if you try it!

Ginger Cookies

2011-10-04T11:08:00.001-04:00

The start of October and the crisp, cool weather inspired me to bake an autuminal snack-of-the-week. Since I was FINALLY able to get my hands on some canned pumpkin, I decided to try the ginger cookies from Jessica Seinfield's Double Delicious cookbook.

I'm happy to report that I had zero issues with this recipe. Unlike several of the other baked goods in her two books, the cook time was spot-on and I didn't have any problem with the Whole Wheat vs All-Purpose flour ratio. I literally followed the recipe and made cookies that perfectly matched the book photography and tasted delicious. Victory!

Two tips: One - They did spread out a little as they baked, so use a smaller scoop to avoid giant cookies. Two - These cookies are deliciously soft! While that's good for the first few days, after a few days in a ziploc bag they started to stick together in an unflattering way. Keeping them in the refrigerator helps.

Shopping in Heels

2011-09-28T09:10:00.000-04:00

Last week, my mom and I hit the streets of New York in the pouring rain to visit two sewing and knitting meccas: Mood and Purl Soho!

Mood was all that I hoped it would be. Fabric for miles and miles. A GIGANTIC section of ribbons and trims. And super helpful and friendly staff members. We bought the sassiest trim for the Holiday Aprons that are in our queue. The trim might be the best part of the apron, so I'll wait and show you the finished product. I was sad that Swatch wasn't there; he doesn't go out in inclement weather. However, there was an entire section of Alpaca, so I got a shot of the sign for my favorite Alpaca Mamma, Deb Nevells of Black Diamond Alpacas.

Next we took a cab to Purl Soho, which was also really terrific. The only bummer is that the store is actually quite small. I think because of their large online presence and great photography I had a vision of a rambling store full of oceans of fibers and fabrics. In reality, it's an adorably quintessential, New York-sized store. Again- terrific sales associates and a great selection of yarn.

Eating in Heels

2011-09-27T08:34:00.000-04:00

Tonight we're making Bobby Flay's Rum-glazed Pork Tenderloin with Grilled Pineapple Relish. I was looking for any pork recipe that didn't include apples and raisins. I know apples, raisins, and pork go together splendidly, but jeez - that's not ALL that goes with pork! Flay's Pineapple Relish doesn't have either of the offending ingredients ... AND it has Rum! Winner winner!

To the recipe ...

Everything was straightforward except for some of the amounts, which were vague. What does a "small pineapple" look like exactly? And why am I adding "a few tablespoons of oil" to the relish? When you consider how many fire-inducing ingredients are in both the glaze and the relish, I'd appreciate more precise instructions - especially since this is the first time I'm making this dish. The cook-times are also vague. The grilling instruction for the pork says to, "grill until crusty and charred on both sides and the internal temperature reaches 145 degrees on an instant-read thermometer." That's great, but when I'm trying to figure out when the stages of a meal need to be complete so I know when we'll actually eat (I'm guessing around midnight), I like to see a "about 25 minutes" tip included in the instructions.

The result:

Although delicious, the end result was not worth the effort. It was flavorful and tasty, but it literally took hours to put together. The pineapple is grilled before it's added to the relish and then the relish has to sit for 30 minutes before serving. You'd think you could grill the pork during this window, but it's then that you're making the glaze, which also took over 30 minutes. We're not above a good challenge in the kitchen, but when something requires a large amount of effort, we expect a spectacular payoff. I want proclamations of "I can die now!" hollered out after I've just spent two hours making one dish. There were no declarations. To use one of my favorite Tim Gunn quotes, it was "good - not great."