Here, let me go ahead and diversify* your news for you.

*diversify (verb): to un-erace; to put obvious (and obviously relevant) information about race back into a race-less account of non-white people (especially black people) doing bad things.

“Black Mob Shoplifts at Silver Spring 7-Eleven”

From NBC Washington (with video):

At least 70 black people simultaneously shoplifted from a Silver Spring, Md., 7-Eleven Saturday night.

The shoplifters — described as black teens and young adults — took items including snacks and drinks, police said.

“It really is this mob mentality where you get a group of black kids that go in to the 7-Eleven, and a group will say, ‘Let’s steal stuff,’ and a lot of black kids I think get caught up in that,” Montgomery County Police Chief Thomas Manger said.

In August, a flash mob of dozens of black people entered a 7-Eleven in Germantown and took items without paying, police said.

Black mob crime in the county has prompted lawmakers to consider teen loitering legislation and a teen curfew.

“Black Mob Raids 7-11 Store in Silver Spring, Maryland”

From ABC News (also with video):

A group of black 50 teenagers raided a Maryland 7-Eleven Saturday night, looting the convenience store in what police are investigating as a black mob robbery.

Montgomery County police say the black teens, ranging in age from 16-18, rushed into the 7-Eleven in Silver Spring, Md., around 11:20 p.m. Saturday night.

Video surveillance from the store shows the black teens fanning out across the store and grabbing snacks and drinks. The black teens then exited the store to the surrounding parking lots and streets, and then quickly dispersed once police arrived.

The Saturday night raid in Silver Spring is the latest of such black thefts to hit the Washington, D.C. area in recent months.

In August, a black mob invaded another 7-Eleven in Germantown, Md., grabbing all the snacks and candy they could access. The entire robbery, described by an police as “anarchy” lasted less than one minute.

Earlier in the summer, a black mob robbed a high-end clothing store in Washington, D.C.

“Black Teen’s [sic] ‘Knock Over’ 7/11 During Flash Robbery in Maryland”

From the Indiana News Center (with yet more video):

Fifty black people walk into a convenience store in a so-called “black mob robbery.”

Police say the black teens waltzed in, took what they wanted, and left.

When officers arrived they found a group of six black suspects, none who had receipts.

“Second Maryland 7-Eleven Hit in Black Mob Attack, Police Say”

From the better-than-average but still cowardly FOX News:

This black mob is practicing thievery in numbers.

A group of 50 black people were caught on tape as they flooded into a 7-Eleven in Silver Spring, Md., this past weekend and casually pilfered from the shelves as if they didn’t have a care in the world.

The black group, comprised mostly of teens and young adults, walked into the convenience store and stole various snacks and drinks just after 11 p.m. on Saturday, according to Montgomery County Police Department officials investigating the incident.

When cops arrived at the scene, the black mob scattered, running from the store. Six stragglers were found later with items that they could not prove they paid for, according to police.

A similar incident happened in August at another 7-Eleven in nearby Germantown, where 30 black youths walked into the store late at night and plucked items off the shelves as if they were shopping. Some were even savvy enough to cover their faces with their shirts to protect their identities from cameras. No arrests were made in the incident.

The city of Philadelphia instituted a curfew this past August after a spate of violence involving teen black mobs.

Police departments in several U.S. cities have been investigating black mob incidents for the past several months — large groups of black youths suddenly appear, as if out of thin air, to commit assaults, robberies and other crimes, according to an earlier report by FoxNews.com

“Silver Spring Black Mob: Police Estimated Nearly 50 Black Teens Rob Maryland 7-Eleven (VIDEO) “

From that disingenuous white liberal (DWL) haven, the Huffington Post:

Police in Maryland investigating a mass shoplifting have released stunning footage of an estimated 50 black teenagers ransacking a Silver Spring 7-Eleven location.

Officers who responded to the call around 11:20 p.m on Saturday said that young black people congregated in surrounding parking lots quickly scattered upon seeing the police vehicles, NBC Washington reports.

In August, police encountered a similar incident at a Germantown, Md., 7-Eleven involving nearly two-dozen black teenagers simultaneously robbing a convenience store around 1:30 a.m., according to the Germantown Patch.

That incident, along with spiking gang violence among the local black youth, added to discussion surrounding legislation proposed by Montgomery County Executive Isiah Leggett to enact a youth curfew barring anyone under the age of 17 from public spaces between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m.

I think you get the idea. Why not try it yourself?

• From the Washington Examiner: “Video: Flash mob theft reported at 7-Eleven in Silver Spring”
• From the Washington Post: “Flash mob reported at Montgomery convenience store”
• From the International Business Times: “Flash Mob Robs Maryland Store in One Minute, Again”

The Exception That Proves the Rule

Tracie Walker, writing for Associated Content, buries the lead in “Black Mob Hits Maryland 7-Eleven for the Second Time.” I haven’t diversified the following passage from page 2 at all:

As more and more of the perpetrators appear to be young black men, the concerns are growing that these are racially motivated hate crimes rather than random groups. John Terrett, a correspondent for Aljazeera, points out that while civil liberties and youth rights organizations are calling for restraint by city officials, the many surveillance cameras make it impossible to deny that most of the flash mobs are made up of black youths assaulting white people. Columnist Gregory Kane of the Washington Examiner quotes self-styled black leader Jesse Jackson as saying that “To be a racist you have to have power. One cannot equate black fugitives from slavery fighting their masters as racists,” yet one of the black teenagers in a violent and unprovoked attack at the Wisconsin State Fair in August confessed that “race hatred motivated his attacks on whites,” according to R. Cort Kirkwood of The New American.

In the Wisconsin incident, large groups of black teens possibly numbering in the hundreds, targeted whites leaving the fairgrounds to beat and rob, on the premise that they were “easy targets.” According to witnesses, a black security guard stood by and did nothing as a white teen was beaten, kicked repeatedly while on the ground, and then dragged over and thrown in the bushes. Police in Wisconsin have decided to seek hate-crimes charges against several assailants.

Outstanding, Ms. Walker — but next time (and there will be a next time, and many times after that), please stick it — the “race angle,” I mean — in the first graf. For me?

One more thing before we go: let’s diversify coverage of the first (known) black mob attack on a Maryland 7-Eleven, in Germantown.

“Black Mob Robbery”

From NBC Washington (Aug. 15, 2011):

Police are trying to identify members of a black mob involved in a brazen crime caught on tape in Montgomery County.

The surveillance video obtained by NBC Washington shows a black mob virtually taking over a 7-Eleven in Germantown, Md., at about 1:45 a.m. Saturday.

Mohammad Jebanzeb, the store owner’s son, told NBC Washington almost three dozen young black people walked in grabbed candy, sodas, ice cream and other items, and then walked out without paying after about a minute.

The video showed many of those involved laughing and smiling while stealing from the store. The clerk called police but by the time officers arrived the black mob had left.

Here’s a map showing Silver Spring and Germantown, Maryland.

Introducing the Unamusement Park Award for Race Realism in a Comment Under Your Real Name

Check out these four scoundrels in the comments section at NBC Washington:

Johnny Talley: This video is racist! Where are the white people? 495 likes

Mark Blackowski: Working 368 likes

Bob Wise: Abiding by the rule of law. 308 likes

Tom Aldridge: At home with their kids.. 302 likes

Hee hee.

Cross-posted at Unamusement Park.

If you lack the time or stomach to track all the symptoms of our developing, apparently terminal civilizational cancer, to savor each fresh whiff of corpse-stink wafting off America’s body politic in her advanced state of moral decay, allow me to summarize the ongoing “Occupy Wall Street” movement for you: a bunch of spoiled white socialist college kids have taken to the streets in at least 25 major American cities to protest… something. Nobody knows just what it is they’re trying to accomplish, least of all the protesters, but I gather it has something to do with bailouts (they want to stop them), bankers (they want to eat them), capitalism (they’re extraordinarily angry about it), re-electing Obama (or maybe not), and of course, the Jews.

Did I mention they were white? From the Daily Caller (Oct. 4):

Though a few representatives of minority groups have appeared among the “Occupy Wall Street” protesters in New York City, photos and videos of the left-wing mini-throngs indicate they suffer from a serious lack of diversity.

I question this claim.

Now, it is certainly true that these broadly radical but largely ineffectual mobs lack racial diversity. Here, for instance, is an “Occupy Wall Street” rally in New York City, which is 33% white, 26% black, 13% Asian, and 29% Hispanic:

And here is one in LA, which is 29% white, 10% black, 11% Asian, and 49% Hispanic:

 Yup, coast-to-coast white kids. That much is certain. My question, though, is: given that the “Occupy Wall Street” movement lacks diversity, are they in fact suffering from it? Would these “left-wing mini-throngs” truly be better off if they weren’t so unbearably white?

I have my doubts, though if you happen to believe (in the face of overwhelming counter-evidence) that diversity is somehow a strength, you’ll have no trouble answering in the affirmative — but then, you’re probably not reading an article entitled “Is racial diversity ruining ‘Occupy Wall Street’?” in the first place. (You’re not really interested in promoting a diversity of ideas, are you, so much as fewer white people.)

The true believers in charge of organizing this ambiguously anarchist/collectivist movement have set racial quotas for their own occupation and seem determined to meet them (the Daily Caller again):

Even the “unofficial” organizers of the protest events admit this is — or at least appears to be — problematic.

“That’s an interesting question, and it comes up often,” OccupyWallSt.org’s Patrick Bruner said in an email to TheDC. “Unfortunately, we have a very high turnover rate, and nobody as of yet has come up with official diversity related statistics for us. From observation, I can tell you that we’re not all white, and that we also have a huge LGBT [Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender] population.”

“We’re working on reaching out to minority groups as well,” Bruner adds.

It might just be working, as already we see clear signs of racial diversity at work among the protesters: theft, rape and murderous anti-white racism!

In New York City: Theft

From the New York Post (Oct. 18), via OneSTDV:

Occupy Wall Street protesters said yesterday that packs of brazen crooks within their ranks have been robbing their fellow demonstrators blind, making off with pricey cameras, phones and laptops — and even a hefty bundle of donated cash and food.

“Stealing is our biggest problem at the moment,” said Nan Terrie, 18, a kitchen and legal-team volunteer from Fort Lauderdale.

“I had my Mac stolen — that was like $5,500. Every night, something else is gone. Last night, our entire [kitchen] budget for the day was stolen, so the first thing I had to do was… get the message out to our supporters that we needed food!”

Crafty cat burglars sneaked into the makeshift kitchen at Zuccotti Park overnight and swiped as much as $2,500 in donated greenbacks from right under the noses of volunteers who’d fallen asleep after a long day whipping up meals for the hundreds of hungry protesters, the volunteers said.

…

At one point yesterday, [security volunteer Harry Wyman] and other volunteers briefly scuffled with a man who was standing near a park entrance with a pail calling out: “Donations! Donations!” — and pocketing the cash people tossed in the bucket.

Feeling sorry for those poor kids? Remember: these are the same people who want to “redistribute” your wealth and cap your salary.

What’s that? You weren’t feeling sorry for them at all? Oh good. Me neither.

In Cleveland: Rape

From WKYC (Oct. 18, with video), a local NBC affiliate:

Police are investigating the claim of a 19-year-old Cleveland woman that she was raped in a tent Saturday at “Occupy Cleveland.”

The woman attends Summit Academy in Parma, a school for young people with educational abilities like Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism and hyperactivity.

…

The girl alleges that she was at Occupy Cleveland Saturday night. She claims “rally personnel” told her to share a tent with the suspect, due to a shortage of tents.

The suspect allegedly said his name was “Leland.” She claims she went to sleep and awoke to find “Leland” molesting her.

Boy, that’s a lot of “alleging” and “claiming.” It’s very important for reporters to be circumspect when the story might make a radical left-wing movement look bad. Not so when the Tea Party is involved. From Newsbusters (Oct. 19):

… imagine for a moment something like this happened at a Tea Party event. Would the media be so quiet?

Consider what occurred in March 2010 when members of the Congressional Black Caucus claimed they were spat on and received racial epithets from Tea Partiers on Capitol Hill protesting the pending vote on ObamaCare. These allegations filled the air and print waves for months and continue to be.

…

Conservative publisher Andrew Breitbart offered at the time to donate $100,000 to the United Negro College Fund if anyone could prove the N-word was hurled at black members of Congress that day.

Over a year and a half later, no one has come forward with such evidence.

…

With this in mind, will an alleged rape now in the hands of the Cleveland Police Department occurring at an Occupy event last weekend get any coverage by press members deeply in love with this movement?

And what if the alleged rape turns out to have been allegedly committed by an allegedly non-white person, as it very often allegedly is?

In Oakland: Murderous Anti-White Racism (and More)

Breaking news from Big Journalism (Oct. 20, with must-watch video):

Early yesterday morning, we received a tip from a reader in the San Francisco East Bay area who informed us that a local reporter’s life had been threatened by an activist at the Occupy Oakland demonstration.

Our source, who is fearful of reprisal and has requested anonymity, says that KGO-TV’s Amy Hollyfield was accosted by a man who threatened her and used a racial slur:

“We shoot white bitches like you around here.”

According to our source, the Oakland Police Department was apparently called to the scene. Inquiries to the police, and to Hollyfield, which began at roughly 8 a.m. Pacific time yesterday, are still unanswered today.

Other local morning news reports from three of the major Bay Area stations suggested that the Occupy Oakland tent city had descended into rat-infested squalor with complaints of vandalism, public urination, sexual harassment, and sex in public.

You don’t say. Sounds like the sort of backyard Liberia a certain raciss blogger once warned about. (~_^)

What? No, not hbd* chick! Psh. Anyway, there’s more. (There’s always more, you know.)

The night before, local CBS affiliate KNTV had reported that one Occupy Oakland activist had set his dog on a reporter in a vicious attack that would have maimed his arm had the reporter not been wearing a suit jacket.

Yet even as these local stations reported how Occupy Oakland has collapsed into chaos, they failed to report that police were allegedly called to protect a reporter whose life was threatened in a racist and misogynistic way.

Well, duh. Only white people can be racist!

Here is Ms. Hollyfield’s report from this morning, in which she mentions threats to KGO’s cameras, but not the alleged threat to her life.

A pretty blonde white girl — what on earth was she thinking? Doesn’t she know about the black-and-brown no-go zones for whites in every major American city?

In another report from the Occupy Oakland tent city early this morning, KTVU’s Claudine Wong was verbally abused and intimidated on live television, in a tense scene witnessed by viewers throughout the Bay Area.

Now that’s must-see TV — and yes, there are lots of white thugs at “Occupy Oakland,” too. Remember, we at Unamusement Park despise socialists of all races.

The Chronicle also reported that Occupy Oakland had decided to block media access to the public park where the tent camp is located, denying journalists their First Amendment rights—in creepy consensus fashion. (Down twinkles!)

And, as Big Government notes this morning, the Oakland Tribune has described Occupy Oakland as the home of “[h]omeless people, ex-convicts, at least one registered sex offender, students, unemployed hotel workers, anarchists and reform-minded activists.” And those are the good people, supposedly.

The rest of the Occupy Oakland tent camp has degenerated into a Lord of the Flies re-enactment, infested with “bullies, the mentally ill, drunks, thugs and anarchists.” Violent crime — including assaults against women — is accompanied at Occupy Oakland by drug dealing, child endangerment, and frequent fights among tent camp residents and passersby.

Like New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, only on a much smaller scale: it seems that once again we have Africa in our midst.

Race and Crime in New York City

As it turns out, Occupy Wall Street has been enjoying diversity’s dubious wonders since day one: September 17, the (supposedly) national “Day of Rage” that kicked off the protests. (We have local blogger Urban Infidel to thank for this coverage, which was picked up by Pajamas Media for their aptly titled “Day of FAIL“ piece.) In the following video, a very diverse-looking protester pontificates on race and crime:

Are you a white man? If you’re a white man, then shut the fuck up about race, ’cause you don’t know shit, other than how to rape and kill. So please just shut the fuck up about race.

Fascinating. (Note that this is the sort of person who considers Jared Taylor of American Renaissance a “hater.”) Unfortunately for the distinguished non-white gentleman’s thesis (i.e., that white men “don’t know shit” about race “other than how to rape and kill”), crime statistics tell an altogether different story.

I know, I know: statistics are “racist.”

In 2010, according to the NYPD’s enforcement report, “Crime and Enforcement Activity in New York City.”

• Blacks made up a staggering 60.9% of murder suspects (not arrests), 52.6% of rape suspects, 52.4% of other felony sex crime suspects, 70.8% of robbery (mugging) suspects and 54.9% of felonious assault suspects;
• Hispanics made up 30.7% of murder suspects, 33.8% of rape suspects, 31.2% of other felony sex crime suspects, 23.3% of robbery suspects and 32.5% of felonious assault suspects; and
• Whites made up 4.9% of murder suspects, 8.9% of rape suspects, 12.7% of other felony sex crime suspects, 4.6% of robbery suspects and 8.2% of felonious assault suspects.

In the same year, according to the US Census Bureau, blacks made up 25.5% of the population of New York City, Hispanics 28.6%, and whites 33.3%. Therefore, in New York City, as of last year,

• Blacks commit murder at 16 times the white rate, rape at 7.7 times the white rate, other felony sex crimes at 5.4 times the white rate, robbery at 20 times the white rate, and felonious assault at 8.7 times the white rate; and
• Hispanics commit murder at 7.3 times the white rate, rape at 4.7 times the white rate, other felony sex crimes at 2.9 times the white rate, robbery at 5.9 times the white rate, and felonious assault at 4.6 times the white rate.

Given these facts (not to mention the undeniable race differences in intelligence), if any racial group can fairly be said to not “know shit, other than how to rape and kill,” it is not white people.

Incidentally, while blacks account for 66.0% of violent crime suspects, they are subject to only 54.5% of the NYPD’s “Stop Question and Frisk” activity (17% less than expected). Whites account for only 5.7% of violent crime suspects, but are subject to 9.3% of these stops (63% more than expected). So much for racial profiling!

I recommend Heather Mac Donald’s 2007 and 2010 articles in the City Journal for more on race, crime, law enforcement and deceptive reporting in New York City. (And check out Crimes of the Times while you’re at it.)

Something For All the Spoiled White Socialist College Kids

This one’s for you, kids:

When you were young, and your heart was an open book,
You used to say, “live and let live.”
But if this ever-changing world in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry,
Say live and let die.

Just ignore that part about having a job and doing it well.

It’s like he’s singing right to me! About foreign aid!

Originally published at Unamusement Park on October 20, 2011.

Ladies and gentlemen: you have been lied to!

Previously, the honorable gentlemen behind the reputable racist Internet website Unamusement Park (in conjunction with the marginally-less honorable gentlemen behind the altogether-less-reputable In Mala Fide) were enormously pleased to announce the triumphant return of the Internet’s foremost hyper-sexual genius — that endlessly talented, stunningly attractive, impeccably dressed, impossibly brilliant über-alpha living in a world of worker bees — the wildly successful, legendarily promiscuous, extraordinarily well endowed blogger/writer/debater/poet/madman/racist/turnip farmer known only as Unaschmoozed, from his secret fortress at the summit of Unzulänglichenangenehmerholungstieldienstberg (“Insufficiently Pleasant Recreational Facility Mountain”) to which he had apparently selflessly exiled himself until such time as he could complete “The Pretty Face of Hatred“, his universally anticipated second reactionary musical.

Unaschmoozed is also a noted fan of kittehs (with or without squirl friends).

What we failed to take into account is that Unaschmoozed is a big fat liar. Like a wellspring of deceit, he is the source of a thousand slanderous rumors. Given the opportunity, he never fails to take credit for the labors of a better man. With sly words he has impugned the honor of virtuous women fallen on hard times. He has been spectacularly and repeatedly unfaithful to each and every one of his many sexual partners. From anyone foolish enough to call him friend, he has pilfered and pawned her most cherished personal treasure, merely to punish her trusting nature. In his long and horrifying career as a mischief maker, he has swindled a church, a circus, a children’s hospital charity, a grade school bake sale, a diabetic, a beggar, and an innocent dog. I could go on.

Notwithstanding his explicit claims, his solemn vows, and his obscene blood oaths to the contrary, Unaschmoozed had not, in fact, completed “The Pretty Face of Hatred.” He had, in fact, only completed one damn Act, and it has taken him until now to complete the second. What he has been up to in the intervening time is a great mystery, possibly involving the Great Bear Spirit of the Ojibwe people and a crazy stoned naked dancing Indian chick. You see — and I realize this will come as a profound shock to all of you, so I encourage you to brace yourselves as you see fit — Unaschmoozed never actually exiled himself, selflessly or otherwise, to any secret fortress, clandestine castle, nor any other furtive structure, at the summit of Unzulänglichenangenehmerholungstieldienstberg — nor any other obscure and remote Austrian mountain — nor does such a mountain even exist! It has all been a pack of lies. I, for one, have had enough.

I have therefore dispatched a crack squad of Reactionary-Musical Composer Motivation Specialists to first find, then thoroughly and repeatedly beat Unaschmoozed until he finishes writing that foul-mouthed, foul-tempered right-wing extremist extravaganza, a slap in the face and a kick in the crotch to leftists everywhere — “The Pretty Face of Hatred.”

Until then, we beg your indulgence, ladies and gentlemen, and present for your consideration the second of an indeterminate number of as-yet-unwritten Acts. So once again, if you’ll kindly take your seats… thank you. Please note that the songs in this Act have more or less the same rhythm as this one. Without further ado…

Act II: Let’s Ship All the Blacks Back to Africa

[The curtain rises on HEIDI BEIRICH of the anti-white hate group SPLC: white, grotesquely obese, and unbelievably self-righteous. She waddles center stage and basks momentarily in the unflattering spotlight, hands on her enormous hips, before glaring accusingly at the audience. She shakes her head indignantly, transmitting gentle ripples through her sweaty, flabby rolls.]

HEIDI: Listen up, America! Racism is everywhere!

It’s in our schools, lowering test scores for minorities. It’s on our college campuses, crushing the hopes and dreams of aspiring young African-American astrophysicists. It’s in the newspapers and on TV, poisoning our children’s minds. It’s in the so-called “justice” system, locking up poor, helpless, innocent black men like Duane Buck, Troy Davis (may he rest in peace), Mumia Abu-Jamal, Rubin Carter, O. J. Simpson, and dear, sweet Rodney King.

It’s in every level of our government, forcing blacks and Hispanics to drop out of school, lose their jobs, sell drugs, contract sexually transmitted diseases, and commit violent crime at shockingly high rates compared to the nasty white people who are really at fault. Yes, I’m talking about white racism, because after all, only white people can be racist — and it’s debatable whether any of them aren’t.

SMALL CHILD: But Ms. Beirich, none of that makes any sense at all!

Asian kids do better in school than white kids, so how can you blame “racism” for the low test scores that black kids and Hispanic kids always seem to get, no matter how much time and energy and money we throw at the problem? Doesn’t all the scientific evidence point to race differences in intelligence, anyway?

Our colleges openly discriminate in favor of black and Hispanic people — in fact, they’re required to, by laws handed down by our supposedly racist government and enforced by our supposedly racist justice system. Speaking of the justice system, once you account for the black crime rate, you see that the police are actually arresting too few black people.

Then there’s the media: they do their best to cover up crimes committed by non-white people, especially when it’s committed against white people, and extra-especially when it’s motivated by racial hatred, which it often is — even though you say that’s impossible.

As for the government — are you kidding? Just to pick one super-obvious example, last I checked, white people had no problem voting in black candidates, even though it’s usually against their interests, but black people almost never —

HEIDI: [Having suffered enough hate facts, explodes in an anti-racist rage.] Heresy! Heresy! Hate speech! Criminal hate speech! Alert the authorities! [Points at the SMALL CHILD.] Arrest that white supremacist at once!

[A squad of TOLERANCE ENFORCERS from the Equality Bureau ("Diversity Is Our Greatest and Only Strength") — a new branch of Eric "My People" Holder's Civil Rights (for Everyone but Whites) Division of the (Social) Justice Department of the United States of (Post-Racial) America — descends on the SMALL CHILD and drags her off to be re-educated so that she might one day rejoin our wonderfully diverse society.]

HEIDI: [Smiles.] That’s much better. Sounds like someone forgot that the First Amendment doesn’t extend to hate speech.

But it just goes to show how right I was. You see, only a racist would ever deny that racism is the greatest threat to our nation and the world, a never-ending hate crime perpetrated by all whites against all non-whites. But that little bitch just said it wasn’t so — in public, no less! You all heard her! Well, that proves how widespread racism truly is, when you can spout garbage like that in public and get away with it. [Sound of firing squad off-stage.]

It’s time we took a stand, people. Something must be done!

Something Must Be Done
White racism’s perverse!
It’s gone from bad to worse.
The racist right expects us to ignore it,
But I think it’s very clear
That every single year
Is worse than all the ones that came before it.

Racist cops who walk the beat
Grab random blacks right off the street!
Though why they don’t grab Asians is a mystery…
But blacks still do longer time
Than whites for equal crime!
(When you don’t control for prior criminal history.)

Now there’s gangs of thugs who base
All their violence on your race —
A clearer case of hate crime, I can’t name.
When those racist whites attack —
Wait, you’re telling me they’re black?
I take it back, those kids can’t be to blame!

Yes, I know I understate,
Or ignore, most racial hate,
Even though I’m paid a fortune just to find it.
But you see, these vicious mobs
(That beat and rape and rob)
Target whites, and so I simply do not mind it.

The Knoxville Horror was sort of bad.
Yes, and Wichita, how sad —
All those massacres by blacks that racists cite.
But our real foe’s Jared Taylor,
Peter Brimelow, Steve Sailer —
Those who claim that anti-racism’s “anti-white.”

[Enter TIM WISE: white, slightly less grotesquely obese, but equally unbelievably self-righteous, doughy face twisted with hatred, wearing a shirt that reads "Proud Race Traitor" on the front, "SLAVERY/NEVER FORGET!" on the back.]

TIM: Fucking whites. They’re so fucking racist. I hate them all — every last stinking one of them! Just thinking about their… their privilege, their fucking privilege… [Foams at the mouth.] It just makes me so… so FUCKING ANGRY!

I Hate All White People Because They’re So Racist
You’re absolutely right:
The problem is the whites!
They’re lashing out in fear and desperation.
But they’re whiny little shits,
Who haven’t got the wits
To accept the fact of their extermination.

Oh, I’m waiting for the hour
When the whites lose all their power.
Won’t they cry to see their empire’s destruction!
(They can’t guess our true intent
Is to redefine “consent,”
Setting race quotas for white girls’ reproduction.)

We must nobly soldier on,
Until all the whites are gone,
And the world shines with a lovely brown patina.
That’s the paradise I seek:
A global Congo, Mozambique,
Or New Orleans (after Hurricane Katrina).

Now, admittedly those places
(That are full of non-white races)
All have problems rather worse than just low grades:
When they’re not out poaching rhinos,
They’re dismembering albinos
Or raping little kids to cure their AIDS.

Of course, their failure’s not innate;
It’s always due to racial hate
And the never-healing wounds of those it tramples.
So I’m sure, once truly free,
They’ll build a great society —
Though I cannot cite historical examples.

HEIDI: Oh, Tim. Oh, TIM. The world you envision… free of white people… forever…

TIM: “Free” is right… my dear.

[TIM and HEIDI share a passionate embrace, sublimating their pure hatred of all white people into enthusiastic public dry-humping, with many pig-like grunts and squeals, of which the author's rudimentary sense of decorum prohibits further description.]

HEIDI: Fuck me, you proud Nubian!

[Clearly the author lied about his rudimentary sense of decorum.]

[Enter UNAMUSED IN BLACKFACE. TIM and HEIDI peel apart their SWEATY BODIES with a WET SUCKING NOISE.]

BLACK UNAMUSED: Yo, yo! Sup niggas? What’s poppin’?

[HEIDI instinctively clutches her PURSE and paws at her ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY RAPE WHISTLE. TIM hides behind her BULK.]

HEIDI: Why, hello there… young man. Tim, you remember, er…

TIM: Uh… yes, of course I remember this… gentleman. He’s one of our local “underprivileged urban youths.” How are you? Is there… anything you want from me? I mean, is there anything we can do for you?

BLACK UNAMUSED: Aww shiiiiiiiiit. Niggas be playin’ me, yo.

HEIDI: They be…

BLACK UNAMUSED: Raciss-ass crackas gettin’ all up IN mah face.

[HEIDI and TIM, confused, look around for any RACISS-ASS CRACKAS or NIGGAS WHO BE PLAYIN'. Finding none, they stare stupidly at BLACK UNAMUSED.]

BLACK UNAMUSED: [Sighs, his PAINSTAKING RESEARCH INTO BLACK SPEECH PATTERNS so obviously wasted.] White racism is really bad. I don’t like it one bit. It’s making me commit crime. It’s also lowering my intelligence.

HEIDI: Oh, you poor dear.

TIM: Fucking whites! Fuck! Fuck! Aaaaaaah FUCK!

BLACK UNAMUSED: [Bemused.] Right… Anyway, I came up with what I think is a fantastic way to save us colored folk from Whitey without, y’know, exterminating them. Sorry, Tim.

TIM: FUCK! Alright, I’m listening. What’s your plan?

BLACK UNAMUSED: So glad you asked…

Nigga Please
(With Apologies to the Black People We Like)
The black man’s life be real hard —
Maxed out his EBT card,
And his baby mama’s only worth five bucks.
But he’s so busy formin’ mobs,
How’s he s’posed to get a job?
Or consent from all them bitches that he fucks?

Yo, it’s time that we admit it:
The whites won’t ever quit it
And just leave us helpless colored folk alone.
We appreciate your tryin’,
But racism ain’t dyin’,
So we’re better off just settin’ off on our own.

And I’ve found the perfect place;
It’s got miles of open space,
And the whites who will not flee could soon be purged.
Now it might seem somewhat barren
— Hot and harsh, the sub-Saharan —
But that just guarantees the whites won’t re-emerge!

If some dumb-ass nigga say,
“Yo, fuck that shit, I’ll stay,”
Then his mind has been enslaved — the man needs freein’!
So stick that nigga in a box —
Look, I even brought the locks,
And this whip, to keep the captured ones from fleein’.

I’m sure later he’ll be grateful —
The whites were just so hateful
That they forced us to perform this “relocation.”
If it all goes straight to hell,
We’ll blame the whites for that as well —
Sue the whole entire race for reparations!

HEIDI: What an astonishingly good idea, from such a well-spoken young man!

TIM: I agree. Of course it took a Person of Color to see the solution. You and I were obviously blinded by white privilege.

BLACK UNAMUSED: Glad you approve. But I think we had better check the joint out first. Make sure this “Africa” place isn’t one of Whitey’s tricks.

HEIDI: Good thinking.

BLACK UNAMUSED: Obviously I can’t go myself. It’s far too dangerous for a black man to do anything these days, what with all the white supremacists lurking about.

TIM: Those fucking whites again.

BLACK UNAMUSED: You two, on the other hand —

TIM: Say no more. We’ll do our part to exterminate the crackers — I mean, uh, to make life better for all you wonderful People of Color.

[A ship's horn sounds in the distance.]

BLACK UNAMUSED: Right on time.

HEIDI: What was that?

BLACK UNAMUSED: I’ve taken the liberty of hiring the two of you a swift Somalian pirate-themed boat, which as you can see has just docked. Come on, Heidi! Come on, Tim! All aboard… for Africa!

HEIDI: [Gasps in delight.] Africa!

TIM: [Gasps in genocidal fervor.] Africa!

CHORUS: AFRICAAAAAAA!

HEIDI: Oh, I can’t wait.

BLACK UNAMUSED: Hurry up niggas, you don’t want to miss the tide!

[Exit TIM and HEIDI, with great haste, in the direction of the SWIFT SOMALIAN "PIRATE-THEMED" BOAT. Exit BLACK UNAMUSED, with equal haste, in the opposite direction. The curtain falls...]

[... and rises on a HALF-NAKED SPEAR-WIELDING AFRICAN TRIBESMAN.]

HALF-NAKED SPEAR-WIELDING AFRICAN TRIBESMAN: Ahem. To Mr. Black Unamused, from the people of Africa: a song of gratitude and love.

We Eat Dirt
(Song of the Half-Naked Spear-Wielding African Tribesman)
Thank you for the present!
We found them most unpleasant,
An awful pair of pasty bloated freaks.
Yes, I’m afraid we really hate them —
Or did, until we ate them.
We hadn’t had fresh bushmeat in six weeks!

A Clarification by the Author Regarding the Satirical Nature of This Piece

The author, Unaschmoozed, has asked me to make the following perfectly clear. He thinks it would be “pretty fucking hilarious” if “that dreary fat sow” Heidi Beirich, “her pet pig” Tim Wise, and “every shit-head in the entire world who agrees with them and their retarded white-hating ideology” were “killed and eaten by African cannibals,” a process he described in some detail. It “would really brighten [his] day,” and he sincerely hopes it happens “sometime very soon.”

Furthermore, he would like to “ship all the blacks back to Africa, where they belong. Even the good ones.”

Just so we’re absolutely clear on those points.

Originally published at Unamusement Park on September 24, 2011.

Ladies and gentlemen: at last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for —

— unless, of course, you happen to be gifted with a more-than-rudimentary sense of decorum, in which case (a) why, oh why, are you reading In Mala Fide? and (b) you should stop reading this post right now.

You can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Tonight, Unamusement Park — in coordination with In Mala Fide — is pleased to announce that the Internet’s foremost hyper-sexual genius — that endlessly talented, stunningly attractive, impeccably dressed, impossibly brilliant über-alpha living in a world of worker bees — the wildly successful, legendarily promiscuous, extraordinarily well-endowed blogger/writer/debater/poet/madman/racist/turnip farmer known only as Unaschmoozed, has returned, just in time for the ‘Park’s six-month semi-versary spectacular, from his secret fortress at the summit of the obscure and remote Austrian mountain Unzulänglichenangenehmerholungstieldienstberg, or “Unamusement Park Mountain” —

Unzulänglichenangenehmerholungstieldienstberg.

— well, technically, “Insufficiently Pleasant Recreational Facility Mountain,” to which he selflessly exiled himself until such time as he could complete the universally anticipated sequel to “Poor Sportsmanship“, the first reactionary musical.

But not the last.

The die is cast, the circle is broken, the planets and the stars are in alignment, some other stuff happened too, and anyway the point is: Unaschmoozed — that Man (until recently) in the High Castle — has finished his second reactionary musical, a slap in the face and a kick in the crotch to leftists everywhere, a foul-mouthed, foul-tempered right-wing extremist extravaganza entitled — appropriately enough — “The Pretty Face of Hatred.”

Huzzah!

Being approximately one thousand percent longer than “Poor Sportsmanship,” “The Pretty Face of Hatred” has been divided into several Acts. Tonight, we present the first for your consideration. So if you’ll kindly take your seats…yes, thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado…

Act I: A Hate-erosexual Experience

[The curtain rises on a naked twenty-something SLUT in her unmade bed, slightly sticky, hair disheveled, panties nowhere to be found.]

Picture her naked and slightly sticky.

SLUT: [Yawns and stretches.] I can’t believe I let all your friends do body shots off me.

[The SLUT notices she is alone, and sighs wistfully.]

SLUT: Typical.

Ballad of the Slutty Slut
Isn’t that just like a guy,
Didn’t even say goodbye.
I guess he lied about waking up beside me.
Hungover, feeling ill,
Hope to God I took my pill,
‘Cause I’m still not sure he didn’t come inside me.

I guess I feel empowered,
Or I will, after I’ve showered,
And it’s hours ’til it gets around the dorm.
Those bitches always talk,
About my endless stream of cock,
Feigning shock that first-date anal’s now the norm.

I don’t care if I get taunted,
I’ve got it, so I flaunt it;
Being wanted makes me feel less incomplete.
It’s only mornings when I’m sad,
Or when I’m with my dad —
So glad the clinic’s billing is discreet.

Oh shit, that’s twenty-six —
I’ve surpassed my age in dicks!
I can’t fix that by discounting all the sucking.
Looking back on every notch,
With this soreness in my crotch,
Feels a lot like it’s myself that I’ve been fucking.

Of course I’m not ashamed,
My friends all do the same.
Assigning blame’s a tool of male oppression.
By feminist decree,
My sexuality
Is free from any judgment or discretion.

So why this nagging thought?
I’m popular. I’m hot!
It’s not as if I’ve lost some precious… “thing.”
I don’t feel a deep connection,
So I’m safe from their rejection —
Heart protection, ’til I’m ready for a ring.

[The SLUT emits another wistful sigh.]

[Enter UNAMUSED in a white tuxedo.]

UNAMUSED: Good morning, you slutty slut!

[The SLUT squeals and attempts to conceal her ample breasts, with pleasantly limited success.]

SLUT: Who the fuck are you?

UNAMUSED: Why, I’m the Ghost of Jizz-mas Future! WoooOOOooo —

SLUT: How did you get in my apartment?

UNAMUSED/GHOST OF JIZZ-MAS FUTURE?: No time for questions, you filthy little whore! Sit up straight, wipe that jizz out of your ear, and listen closely —

SLUT: What? Oh. Ew. [Wipes semen out of her ear.]

UNAMUSED: — while I show you the error of your ways! [Wheels in a piano and strikes up a lively tune.]

Casualty of the Sexual Revolution
You’ve justified your slutting, but don’t brag:
It’s based on crackpot theories by a misanthropic hag.
I know you think you’re happy, but someday you’ll want more.
Bad news: you’ll die alone, ’cause you’re a dirty little whore.

SLUT: You’re so full of shit! All the hot guys want me.

UNAMUSED: They want parts of you. Knock off a hundred IQ points, and they’d still want to tap that sweet retarded ass.

A man prefers his woman to be chaste,
So a tramp who spreads so readily is just the biggest waste.
Now, you might suffice tonight, because we know you love to screw,
But you’re a temporary hole until we find somebody new.

SLUT: You asshole! You’re just… scared of my sexuality!

UNAMUSED: Lady, that’s because your sexuality is scary. Every time you so much as look at me, my dick starts to burn.

It’s nice to be the favorite of the guys,
Getting passed around the room so they can try you on for size,
And fill you up while you fulfill your anatomic roles:
A pretty face, a pair of tits, and three receptive holes.

SLUT: I — you — screw you! My life is great. I get what I want, when I want it. Why should I change?

UNAMUSED: Allow me.

All these years you’ve fucked away the pain,
To the rhythms of the hamster in your brain.
Wake up and pull your panties on, while you’ve still got the time:
Your vagina’s expiration date reads “good ’til twenty-nine.”

SLUT: So I’ll just wait ’til my looks start to fade, then snag a hot, rich husband — like the guys I’m dating now!

UNAMUSED: Yeah, good luck with that…

I know you think you’re different — special case, to the above:
Found a man who doesn’t know your past, and thinks that he’s in love.
But he’ll taste an indiscretion on your breath each time you moan;
He’ll find a better girl and leave you broken and alone.

SLUT: But —

UNAMUSED: Come on, all together now!

CHORUS: He’ll find a better girl and leave you broken and alone!

SLUT: I —

[UNAMUSED bangs a gong.]

CHORUS: He’ll find a better girl and leave you broken and alone!

SLUT: Please —

[UNAMUSED blows a slide whistle.]

CHORUS: He’ll find a better girl and leave you broken and alone!

SLUT: Stop —

[UNAMUSED operates a jackhammer.]

CHORUS: He’ll find a better girl and leave you —

SLUT: OKAY! Okay! I give up. Just… please stop with the singing and the gongs and whistles and the fucking jackhammer, I mean where the fuck did you even — God, my head is killing me. Friggin’ body shots…

UNAMUSED: Thanks, guys. I think she’s got it now.

[The CHORUS exits through the window while UNAMUSED pushes the piano back out the door.]

UNAMUSED: That was exciting! Well, that’s it from me. I think we’ve all learned a valuable lesson about modesty and sexual restraint, or whatever. Anyway, have a wonderful morning, you slutty slut. By the way, you’ve got jizz in your hair. WoooOOOooo…

[Exit UNAMUSED.]

SLUT: Alone… all alone…

[Re-enter UNAMUSED.]

UNAMUSED: I changed my mind. Wanna fuck?

SLUT: Really? Oh, yes! Thank you, Ghost of Jizz-mas Future!

UNAMUSED/GHOST OF JIZZ-MAS FUTURE?: [Chuckles kindly.] You’re welcome, naked slut. WoooOOOooo…

[UNAMUSED enters SLUT. The curtain falls. End of Act I.]

Originally published at Unamusement Park on July 23, 2011.

For those of you who are interested in white rights and/or white racial consciousness (i.e., who believe white people should have rights, and it’s okay for them to identify with their race), I produce flyers you can use to inform people of anti-white hate crimes. These “hate crime alerts” are suitable for mass distribution and consumption: no race realism, no HBD, no IQ scores — not even the name of my site. Here are some tips for distributing them.

“Anti-White Hate Crime WTF?”

What, you’ve never heard about this? Well, that’s not surprising, given the mainstream media’s universal censorship of anything that makes black people look bad. Fortunately, Unamusement Park is here to help. Any time you read a suspiciously undescriptive story about huge, violent mobs of “teens” or “youths” or “kids” or “people,” try searching social media sites (e.g., Twitter and Facebook) for relevant terms (“black, [location]” works very well) to see what pops up.

That is how I proved the June 26 mob in Cleveland Heights, OH was yet another black riot, as was the Independence Day violence at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore, MD.

The Milwaukee Flash Mob

The first flyer is about a recent black-on-white mob attack in Milwaukee. (If you heard an alternate version of the story in which the police chief claims “four different racial groups” were attacked, you should bear in mind he was referring to all robberies committed in a span of time, including but not limited to these black-on-white attacks.) It is available as a PDF here and as a JPEG below (click for the full-size image).

(Yes, the National Crime Prevention Council actually recommends those things — well, they recommend them for avoiding sexual-orientation hate crimes, but I’m sure they apply to other kinds of hate crimes as well. ;)

You can read more about the incident in the news.

• 620WTMJ, July 4–5: “Gas station looted near Humboldt/North before mob attacks group in Reservoir Park”
• Journal Sentinel, July 6: “Flynn calls looting, beatings in Riverwest barbaric” (that’s Milwaukee Police Chief Edward Flynn)
• Yahoo! News, July 6: “Some parents turn in their children after Riverwest incidents” (video plays automatically)
• Journal Sentinel, July 7: “Response to Riverwest attack not Police Department’s ‘finest hour,’ Flynn says”
• Journal Sentinel, July 7: “7 juveniles cited so far in Riverwest BP ransacking”
• OnMilwaukee.com, July 7: “Hate Crimes in Riverwest”

The Carter Strange Lynching

The second flyer is about the Carter Strange lynching (legally speaking, that’s what it was) in Columbia, SC. It is available as a PDF here and as a JPEG below (click for the full-size image). Hunter Wallace at Occidental Dissent calculated the crime stats for South Carolina from FBI-UCR data.

You can read more about the lynching in the news and around the ‘Sphere.

• WMBF, June 23–July 3: “All eight suspects in brutal Five Points beating in custody”
• Stuff Black People Don’t Like, June 25: “Life Under DWL Rule: Carter Strange Lynched; Chicago is Close to the Breaking Point”
• Occidental Dissent, June 25: “The Carter Strange Beating: SPLC Silent on Columbia’s Black Hole” and “Updates: Carter Strange Beating”
• Daily Mail, June 26: “Teenage gang charged under lynching law after ‘savage attack on 18-year-old student’”
• OneSTDV, June 27: “Reflections on Carter Strange Attack and the N-Word”
• Moonbattery, June 27: “Carter Strange: Found Guilty by Lynch Mob of Jogging While White”
• WLTX, June 28: “Carter Strange Speaks About Five Points Assault”
• WACH Fox, June 28: “Carter Strange: Five Points beating survival a miracle”
• TODAY, June 28: “Teen victim of mob beating: ‘I don’t know about forgiveness’” (good for him)
• Free Times, June 29–July 5: “City Passes Emergency Curfew After Beating”

Enjoy.

As many of my readers can attest, sometimes it’s a real drag being an endlessly talented, stunningly attractive, impeccably dressed, impossibly brilliant über-alpha living in a world of worker bees.

Tell me about it.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the heck out of it most days. It’s just that it makes debating an exercise in frustration. When you’re ten thousand times cleverer than your opponents, there simply isn’t much sport in proving them wrong. So, to level the playing field a little and add a modicum of challenge, I’ve decided that today I will rebut them in song form.

The IQ Gap

No Bells Curve Here (April 1996): “a new study by researchers at Columbia and Northwestern Universities suggests that poverty and early learning opportunities — not race — account for the gap in IQ scores between blacks and whites. … Adjustments for socioeconomic conditions almost completely eliminate differences in IQ scores between black and white children, according to the study’s co-investigators.”

If you want to measure factors
Like environmental actors,
Then ignoring DNA’s the greatest sin.
In controlling for the gene,
Just as in the dating scene,
It’s better when she brings along her twin.

Immigration

Letter about Hispanic Students in Glendale Spurs Controversy (March 2011): “I asked the students why they refused to say the Pledge of Allegiance and they responded by saying, ‘we are Mexicans and Americans stole our land.’ … Most of them stated they were in the country illegally, White Americans are racist, and that they came here for a better life.”

If our white-majority nation
Has so much discrimination,
Let me float a plan to help the NAMs* survive:
Line them up, in any order,
Send them south across the border —
Hispanics can’t be racist, so they’ll thrive!

*Non-Asian Minorities: blacks and Hispanics.

Asians in the Library

UCLA Student’s YouTube Video ‘Asians in the Library’ Prompts Death Threats; Violent Responses Criticized As Equally Damaging (March 2011): “A UCLA student has received multiple death threats in response to her video ‘Asians in the Library,’ which was posted Friday. … Speaking Sunday night, a university spokesman called the video ‘repugnant.’” More here. The (highly entertaining) video may be found here.

The Asian horde informs me: UCLA is full of hate.
They cry for social justice — well, they cry, at any rate.
A white girl hurt their feelings — “assimilate”? How cruel!
Thank God the campus thought police could force her out of school.

The Sexual Revolution

Why Do Parents Let Their Daughters Dress Like Sluts? (March 2011): “We are the first moms in history to have grown up with widely available birth control, the first who didn’t have to worry about getting knocked up. [And now] scads of us don’t know how to teach our own sons and daughters not to give away their bodies so readily. We’re embarrassed, and we don’t want to be, God forbid, hypocrites.”

A man prefers his woman to be chaste,
So a tramp who spreads so readily is just the biggest waste.
Now, she might suffice tonight, because he knows she loves to screw,
But she’s a temporary hole until he finds somebody new.

Hate Crimes

Beat Whitey Night (August 2010): “Over the weekend, mobs of Black youths roamed the Iowa State Fairgrounds and randomly assaulted White attendees in what was openly called ‘Beat Whitey Night.’ … Rep. Ako Abdul-Samad (D-Des Moines) said he ‘doesn’t have enough information’ to determine whether or not the attacks were racially motivated.” More here, and a similar story here.

There’s gangs of thugs who base
All their violence on your race.
A clearer case of hatred, you can’t name.
When these racist whites attack —
Wait, you’re telling me they’re black?
I take it back, those kids can’t be to blame!

Appendix: The IQ Gap Revisited

Lest the reader go home dissatisfied with the depth of my musical analysis, I will now rebut — in the more conventional prose form — IQ-gap denialism’s greatest hits: the research papers most often cited** as explaining away the black-white IQ gap with environmental factors such as poverty. From Ethnic differences in children’s intelligence test scores (Brooks-Gunn and Klebanov, 1996), cited here, here, and here:

income and home environment account for most of the differences found between black and white children on intelligence tests

From Race and general cognitive ability (Myerson et al., 1998), cited here, here, and here:

it was the black college students who made the largest gains between the end of high school and college graduation, with their test scores increasing more than four times as much as those of white college students

However, taking a closer look at the first paper, we discover that

none of their analyses have anything to do with heritability and the genetic components of IQ difference between ethnicities. This analysis would have to be done with twins and they did not include any twin studies in this paper.

As for the second paper,

selective attrition, SES, and age [were] all statistically controlled

— in other words, they compensated for the “greater attrition among black college students” (ibid.) as the worst drop out, then compensated for socioeconomic status and thus, indirectly, for IQ. Then, of course, we must weigh this study against all the other studies that contradict its findings, such as Cognitive effects of college (Flowers and Pascarella, 2003):

The data revealed overwhelmingly that the negative cognitive disadvantages for African American students remained consistent throughout the study, even when statistical controls were introduced for all of the variables in the regression model (i.e., direct effects equation).

**Possibly. Maybe.