Crystal here.  I have a small announcement for you. 

Those of you making comments, beginning today and for the foreseeable future, will realize that we have decided to add the requirement for a verification code before your comment will be posted.   Nancy, Leah and I have talked about it and we are getting a  LOT of spam comments.  Most of these you don't see, but it can be a lot of work behind the scenes for us to sort them all out.  Some of you have blogs where no doubt you've been faced with the same thing.  A verification code is one way we can try to minimize those pesky comments. 

If you've been away for a few days, don't forget to go back one post and see what Ireland had to say. 

When my little brother was born, naturally my family was very excited. Even though I had long been an only child, I liked the idea of having a little sibling, someone I could play with and talk to at home. But after the newness faded, I was left in shock, wondering what the heck happened to my family dynamic. Suddenly my parents had a little boy to take care of, someone who needed more time and attention than I did, and it was honestly a shock to my system.

For the first year or two, I did okay. There was a new normal in our household, and I tried my best to understand that while my parents still loved me, they had new priorities, and it wasn’t just me anymore. But as my brother got older, I became increasingly more frustrated. My love for him has never and will never disappear, but it’s harder to show, if you know what I mean. We are complete opposites- he is loud, animated, and aggressive, and I am quiet, careful, and reserved- and I didn’t really understand how someone could be so unlike me. “Really, not everyone thinks/does stuff the same way I do? What is that about?” When I would try to do something nice for him, I would get irritated by his response or reaction- even though most times it wasn’t his fault.

I know I got really confused at some point or another, because I started wondering how I was supposed to show him love when we are so opposite. I’m realizing now that while we are very different, the bottom line is the same. While there are different ways to express love, there is only one kind of true love. And that love is God.  That love COMES FROM God, that love is OF God, and that love IS God. It’s an absolutely perfect love we can feel, experience, cherish, and share.

Sadly, it’s hard for us as humans to share love with people who are different than us. Or people who get on our nerves. Or people we don’t like. Or people who don’t like us… yeah, there are a lot of reasons why loving each other is hard. But we all want- no, we all NEED- the same kind of love. I’m trying to love my brother like that, through my actions now, instead of just my words. How hard is it for me to say, “I love you,” before he goes to bed? Not that hard. But to play Batman and Robin with him when I could be in my bedroom reading? Even though it’s still a simple action, it requires a little sacrifice on my part. But it’s definitely worth it. Most times I would probably still choose the first option, but I’m trying to do that less. And I think the more that we LIVE in the love, the more natural it becomes. It doesn’t get easy, but it becomes easier.

It’s still a beautiful thing to say, “I love you.” Sometimes, I think that alone is all you need to do. But when we express our love through what how we live, not just through what we say, we can speak so loudly. In the song “Live Like That” by the Sidewalk Prophets, David Frey sings, “Am I proof/ That you are who you say you are/ That grace can really change a heart/ Do I live like Your love is true?” As Christians, we can have the biggest influence on people just through what we do.

There is probably someone in your life right now who is hard to love. So today, just try to do something extra for that person- even just today. Maybe it will be a parent, a sibling, an acquaintance, or a friend. Maybe you won’t know who it is until you start talking to that person. But I know for sure that there will always be someone to reach out to.

Love,

Ireland

Now, back to YOUR series -- "Giving Up Freaking Out".

We've been talking about the future, in particular what freaks you OUT about the future. I suggested last week that you think about what the next question is that needs answering concerning your future before you can (a) move forward or (b) stop wigging out or (c) both. Either you (a) didn't quite understand the suggestion or (b) are still thinking about it or (c) you think I've lost it and you hope I'll move on to another exercise. Whatever the reason, not too much response yet.

But that's okay. I'm going to assume that's due to (a) or (b) and go from there. If it's (c), somebody please tell me.

As I was looking at the pictures I took yesterday at the Tennessee Rennaissance Faire, a metaphor came to me that I think might help. The pic you see above is of (of course!) Baby Maeryn making her way toward what she proclaimed was "A Giant Castle, Nanny!" It truly was, and it must have seemed even more so to her tiny self. With a great deal of both awe and trepidation she moved slowly toward it -- just the way you're heading for your gigantic castle of a future. 

Maeryn only took a few steps before it became apparent to her that this was going to be no easy trip. As you can see, she was garbed in a rather realistic Elizabethan costume (made by my daughter -- I still wonder who HER mother is!). It was so adorable -- and she in it -- that we couldn't go five steps at the Faire without someone stopping us and asking if they could take a picture of the three of us --- shown below. But beauty comes with a price, does it not, ladies? Without hips, the underskirt made a slow and steady decline all day, so that by the time we began our trek up the castle path, she was stepping on the hem. Between that and the general lack of co-ordination of a two year old, every step meant stopping, lifting the skirt, putting one foot forward, letting go of the skirt, taking another step -- You get the idea. There was no convincing her to just hike the skirt up until she got where she was going. Come on, it was a PRINCESS dress and evidently princesses do not walk about with their cute chubby thighs showing. Silly Mommy and Nanny!

The ovbvious next question for Maeryn was "How do I get to the castle without falling on my face and still maintain my dignity?" (in toddler terms, of course!) Yours is probably a little more weighty. Ya think?  But narrowing it down to WHAT'S MY VERY NEXT OBSTACLE? is really the only way you're going to be able to take that next step. We all tend to look at the big picture, but Maeryn wasn't watching the castle as she made her way. She was trying to figure out how to get there without needing stitches. (in her head as well as the dress).

Your immediate question might look like one of these:

    *How am I going to pass the chemistry final I have next week?

    * I have to sign up for next year's courses by tomorrow. What should I take?

    * This summer, should I go on a mission trip again or get a job and start making some college money?

    * Is hanging out with my current BFF (or BF) keeping me from getting involved in the activities that are going to help me the most?

Whether you decide to post your question   or not, and I hope you do, at least try to form it in your mind so you can give the following exercise a try. I've been using it a lot myself lately and I can truthfully say it has helped me tremendously with some pretty heavy choices. 

    Step 1 -- Find a quiet place where you can relax and be undisturbed for at least 20 minutes

    Step 2 -- Breathe deeply and then gently until you feel yourself as relaxed as you're probably going to get

    Step 3 -- Focus on being in God's presence (and rest assured, God is there)

    Step 4 -- Imagine asking God or Jesus (though to me they are the same) your question. Use as many or as few words as you want.

    Step 5 -- Then simply be in silence, open to whatever comes into your mind. Let images, words, and feelings come to the surface. If your mind wanders, just gently bring it back to the question and what you're receiving.

    Step 6 -- If ideas or answers appear, write them down on paper.

Don't worry if nothing comes to you. You can try taking a walk or doing some art or journaling a dialogue between you and God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, only writing down what comes to you.

    Step 7 -- No matter what happens or doesn't happen, pay attention for the next few days, looking for confirmation or more ideas. I am always surprised, especially when I think, "Well, that was a waste of time," and then a day later someone says the exact right thing and I know what to do.

I would love, love, love for you to try it and see what comes. If it seems fruitless, it isn't -- because at least you've spent twenty minutes opening yourself up to God. I'm not thhinking that's ever pointless.

I'll be gone all this week, so please feel free to share what you're asking, what this experience was like for you, what you seem to be receiving.           

IRELAND will be our guest poster on Friday, and she'll pose her question, which is about a relationship. I know you'll give her a careful reading, and I can't wait to see what comes from it. I'll miss you, but I know you'll carry on in that amazing way you have. I'll be praying for all the end-of-the-school-year things you're facing. As important as the future is, right now is even more so.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue  

"If I keep following His voice and the tiny whispers and keep taking those baby steps. God's gonna make sure I get where I need to be in the right time."

"I have my gifts for a reason and  I'm good enough to do these things God's asking of me and if I listen to God I won't fail."

  "I think it's really, really cool how when you look for the signs, they just start showing up." 

"I realized that no matter how in over my head I feel, God has never ever let me drown."

"I'm not going to push God into a corner. God can guide my path. I'm just going to be ready when the road sign gets erected."

I'm so impressed with the way you help each other. Melody encouraging Marlee. Marlee writing a guest post that so many of you could relate to. Katie pointing out the perfect scripture verse:

"Many are the plans of a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21)

You really are getting it. As someone said, it's starting to click now.

But wouldn't some more direction be a good thing? Tomorrow I'm going to post about next steps, so be thinking about -- and commenting about -- the question about your future that you feel needs to be answered soon, as in ASAP. You'll need to have thought about that to do tomorrow's exercise.

I also have another request. The girls on Tween You and Me are loving your Big Sister advice and they respond to it SO well. Since I'm going to be gone again next week (research trip this time) I hope you'll want to offer some more great tips. (And I hope you're still around when Baby Maeryn needs this kind of advice)

Here's the topic: What was the biggest friendship flub (mistake) you ever made and how did you fix it? Or if you weren't able to fix it, what did you learn from it? What would you do differently now?

If you can post those here by Saturday with this as your opening: FRIENDSHIP FLUB that would be PERFECT!!! See you here tomorrow.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue 

"When Mrs. Rue first asked me to write this blog post from the college perspective I was really excited. I’ve learned so much this year and know that I’ve grown and changed a lot. However, I didn’t know how to summarize all that into one thousand-word post, so I asked some friends what they learned. Here’s what they said:

I realized I have to surrender everything-my dancing, grades, friendships, relationships, and appearance, to God-I can’t make them perfect on my own, but if I give them to Him, he will show me the amazing plans he has in store for me. R.E. 

Trust and surrender. That's something God has really been showing me the last two semesters. I'm a planner, so I've been shown that I need to release my own plans and be open to what He wants me to do. Also, I learned a lot about balance. Even though classes and grades are important, they cannot consume every minute. I learned that I needed to take time to build on relationships with friends I've made, but also to take some time to be alone, time for myself. R.L.

There are going to be things that are going to try to prevent me from achieving certain goals and aspirations, but I just have to keep going. Also, I came to Belhaven for a reason, and I signed up for art major, so I need to stop complaining and put my all into what I do, especially if I’m truly passionate about it. A.H.

I learned that whenever a situation seems daunting or difficult, I shouldn't automatically assume that the worst is going to happen. Instead I need to trust God and make a workable plan to accomplish my goal/get past the challenge. M.C.

Though I always knew God was faithful, I now KNOW and UNDERSTAND his faith fullness because of this year. Along with that, my faith and trust in him has grown significantly and I have learned to "let go and let God", basically I've started learning how to not worry and let God works things out to his glory, stay at peace in him, and yet still try my hardest in all I do. A.O.

With all of that inspiration, here are some of the things I learned this year:

First: Cafeteria food really can be survived on for every meal for almost nine months. Sometimes you have to resort to cereal and ice cream for dinner, but there’s nothing wrong with that every once in a while J

Second: The old “Good grades, social life, sleep: pick two” thing isn’t really true. You have to really manage your time well, but it really is possible to have it all, at least at times.

Third: College is great because there are times where you’ll find yourself sitting in your room with two or three or four other people watching Disney movies, coloring Hello Kitty and princess pictures, and laughing over ridiculous and slightly inappropriate things. Those moments don’t really happen every week in “real life”.

Four: Teachers and upper-classmen are actually really cool and helpful. Unlike what I initially thought, most of them don’t hate you just because you’re a freshman. Getting to know them will make college life considerably better and easier.

There are also a lot more serious things I learned, like how it’s impossible to be fake. You’re around so many people all the time and it really brings out the real you -- the good parts and the bad -- and that’s something that I had to learn to accept. I couldn’t just put on a “my life is perfect and I’m always cheerful” façade like I do at home sometimes. Because of that, it’s absolutely essential to have good friends who can get you through tough spots. There were a few times that I just had to go to a friend and talk to them, ask for advice, or sometimes just get a hug and remember that things will get better.

I also learned that college can draw you closer to God, or pull you farther away. I go to a small Christian college with required chapel every week and several campus ministries. But not everyone’s a Christian and everyone is at a different place in their walk with God. I met people who almost never went to church until they got there and they began falling in love with Jesus for the first time. I met people who already had questions which only increased and drew a deeper wedge between them and God in college. I personally experienced a lot throughout the year. At times it seemed way too time-consuming and complicated to actually remember to pray every day, read the Bible, and be prepared to worship when I go to church or a campus ministry service. I figured out pretty quickly that on the weeks where I’m already mentally and emotionally drained, just showing up for church and expecting it to help doesn’t cut it. I have to prepare myself beforehand and actually be ready to meet God. It was really different for me in college, because for the first time I couldn’t just ride along to church with my family. I had to make the choice to keep God in my life, and sometimes sleeping in sounded a lot better than going to church on Sunday morning.

However, the knowledge that I was special, that God held me in the palm of His hand, and that I was fearfully and wonderfully made by Him was sometimes that only thing I had to cling to. If I didn’t have that, I don’t think my freshman year would’ve been nearly as amazing. I chose to trust God, because at first I didn’t even want to go to the college I’m at, but decided to follow His lead anyway and now couldn’t imagine a better place. I chose to trust God when I didn’t immediately get the parts, grades, and experience I wanted and now know that my year turned out more amazing than my own plans probably would’ve made it. It wasn’t always easy and I had to make the choice. It’s a choice I have to make every day. Am I going to trust God to get me through this day, or am I going to stress out, freak out, and trust only myself? I’m still choosing God, and I’m going to have to every day. There are a lot of changes in college, but almost all of them were for the better and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has some kind of crazy amazing plan ready for me. I just have to choose to follow it."

If you want to post a comment -- beside telling MELODY what a fabulous job she's done with this -- share with us what verse, God-idea, or Christian concept you cling to when there doesn't seem to be anything else. We'll create a comfort quilt of those to curl up under, yeah?

    I'll see you here Friday!

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

(Our guest poster this week is our own MARLEE, who has also provided the artwork on the left. Enjoy, Ladies -- Nancy)

As a senior gearing up to graduate, I certainly know what fear about the future is like. In the past month, I’ve made the decision that dictates where I’m going to college for the next four years, and by extension, where I’ll be living, what kinds of people I’ll meet, what opportunities I’ll have, etc. etc. etc. It’s been a stressful time, and the only way I’ve gotten through it is with support from my family and prayer.

One factor I used to help me make my decision was religious life at the school of my choice. The school I almost chose to go to – I’d been calling it my dream school ever since visiting last year – was fantastic for academics, but was also far away and didn’t offer me a very good financial aid package. I still very much like the school, but after doing some research online and doing an overnight visit on my own, I realized that there wasn’t a strong Christian presence at the school. Drinking was virtually okayed by the school administration, and the minority of students who were religious were that way only out of default cultural standards. I realized that Christ needed to be at the center of my life and at the center of this decision, which is one reason why after many tears and much debating I settled on a Christian college. Now I know that drinking and immoral behavior goes on at all schools, but that wasn’t the only reason choosing a Christian college – or at least one with a strong Christian student community – became important to me. The opportunity to grow deeper in my faith with classes dedicated to the study of God’s Word is exciting and new to me. I can’t wait to grow closer to God and grow closer to others who love Him.

But that doesn’t mean that everything is clear at this point for me. I’m still making up my mind about what combination of majors, minors, and honors programs will best challenge me and prepare me to actually get a job after I graduate.

Speaking of getting a job. My current plan is to major in graphic design in college; as you can imagine, this idea is often met with comments like, “What are you going to do with that degree?” (thanks, school guidance counselor) or just an incredulous “Really?!”. Although it’s frustrating to have to justify myself all the time, I’m lucky to have supportive parents who would rather me be in a field where I’m happy as opposed to being in a field where I may have more opportunities for worldly success but would be less personally satisfied. Still, it can make me feel uneasy to know that I’m studying something so talent-based; if someone happens to have more talent, they may get jobs I just can’t! But I know these things are things I shouldn’t be worrying about now. God knows what’s going to happen, and I know I’m in His hands.

It can get very easy to turn this time in my life into a list of endings: my high school career ending when I graduate in a month and a half; my childhood ending in one way when I turn 18 in two months; my dependence on my parents ending when I move into my dorm in four months. But really this should be looked at as an exciting time. I’ll be sad to leave my family and my friends but God will always be with me. The unknown is terrifying, but it’s only unknown to us, and everything will turn out well in the end, I believe. Sometimes knowing that is enough.

If you also face pressure from other people about these big decisions – like I do with people not taking my passions seriously – how do you handle it?

For you, is knowing that God’s got it covered enough to calm your fears at times?

Marlee

I've had an additional idea that came to me, actually, when I was thinking about our own Miss Crystal and the profound influence she has had on my life. (For those of you who haven't seen pix of her here before, here she is. Beautiful lady.) In so many ways she's a role model for me, even though she's ten years younger than I am. I decided that from time to time, I'll write posts about other women I meet who could be role models for you in this process of spiritual growth. It's one thing for me to go on (sometimes ad nauseam!) about how to give up freaking out, but if I can show you how another young woman is actually doing it, it just seems like that would be incredibly helpful.

So I'm going to start with a young woman I met at the spiritual retreat I went on week before last. She was way younger than everyone else there -- where the average age was between 55 and 60 I think -- but she was so deep into her spiritual journey that I was like a sponge when I was around her. Her real name isn't Ivey but that's what I'm calling her for our purposes. The rest of the details are absolutely as they happened ( or at least as best I can remember them from our conversation)

Ivey went to college and then law school and took a job as a public defender in New York City. For those of you not familiar with that position, a public defender is a lawyer who defends people who are accused of crimes but can't afford their own attorney. Even a guilty person has the right to be treated fairly in court, and Ivey's job was to make sure that happened, guilty or not.

She worked in that job for 8 years and somewhere along the line she began to feel that this wasn't the job she was supposed to do for the rest of her life. So she saved up enough money to live on for a year and took 12 months off to try to discern what God wants her to do next. Two of the things that happened during that year were: (1) she became involved with an amazing church in Queens, New York, that does awesome, creative things to meet the needs of the people who flock there and (2) she spent some time at a convent in Wisconsin. The sisters there were so taken with the depth of her journey they invited her to come back and spend a year with them and learn about deep prayer. So Ivey has been working for the church for about six months as the director of contemplative art (how cool does THAT sound?) and in the fall, she'll go to the convent to spend a year with the sisters. 

She doesn't know what's at the end of that year. The point really is to let God show her that, which can only happen if she has a deep and focused relationship with God. Her eyes shine when she talks about it (she is, by the way, an exquisitely beautiful young woman because of that) and there is no trace of fear on her face. Her approach: why wouldn't God reveal her purpose to her?

Oh, one more thing. Ivey is now 36 years old. 

Okay so in case you didn't catch it, Ivey did not know age 14, 15, 16, 17, or even 25 just exactly what her life was going to be about. I didn't find out precisely when she started looking only to God for direction, but even if it was before she went to law school, while that was an important season in her life, it didn't turn out to be set in stone. One of the things she did say was that she's glad she has no other personal responsibilities -- no husband, no kids, no house payment, no credit card debt -- because right now she is as free as she can possibly be to follow where God takes her.

As I've read and studied your comments about the things that really worry you when it comes to the future, two things have struck me:

    * You so long to be obedient to God and to do God's will. It's important to you to find your purpose so you'll know what directon to go in

    * You're afraid you're going to miss it. How do you KNOW what God's will is for you? Do you have what it takes to carry it out once you do find it?

Basically you want to be obedient, right? And you would be if God would just TELL YOU WHAT TO DO!

As God would have it, just today I had lunch with an amazing woman -- another of my role models -- who explained to me that if we go WAY back to the original definition of the word "obey" it means "to go toward the sound of."  If we obey God, we go toward the sound of God that we hear.

It DOESN'T mean "figure out what God wants and do it whether you like it or not." In the first place, if your parents want you to obey them, they tell you what they expect, yes? God wants us to obey so obviously God is saying something. 

And it DOESN'T mean "wait until God spells out the whole thing in a huge revelaton and then go do it." Seriously, does your math teacher spend the first month of the semester non-stop talking about everything you're going to have to know and THEN give you the assignments and toss you out there on your own? (If he or she does that, report him to the principal ASAP!) 

What it DOES mean is, go in the direction of the sound you're hearing. That's what Ivey did. That's all anybody can do, really, if she wants to know her God-purpose. And the sounds are released on a need-to-know basis. God may not be revealing whether you're going to be a career dancer or a writer or a missionary to Haiti. But the preparatory steps are probably being laid out for you even as we speak. And how do you hear what they are?

You listen.

The whispers will come to you in so many forms:

    * The desire of your heart -- your real heart -- way deep down beneath your ego and your drive for perfection and your need to please everybody and their sister -- down in the truest part of yourself. When people say, "What if God wants me to spend my life doing something I hate?" I just want to say, "What God do you know? My loving Father doesn't condemn people to lives of misery -- are you kidding me?" Really. Who put that desire there in the first place?

    * Your gifts and talents. This gets tricky with sports and the arts because in the big picture how many people make their living as best selling authors and female athletes and blockbuster actresses? But do you have to be an Academy Award winner or an Olympic medalist endorsing Nikes to be using your gifts? One thing I know for sure: they aren't there to be wasted. You have them for a reason.

    * The opportunities that arise. That could be anything from a former pro soccer player moving in next door to a full blown scholarship, from a "chance" invitation to a lecture that totally blows your socks off to pet sitting for your neighbors and discovering you have a sense for business.

    * The encouragement of an adult. I've told several of you privately that I think you have what it takes to make writing at least part of your career. Others of you might hear from somebody you trust that you have an exceptional way with young children or an inborn gift for leadership or the heart of a teacher. 

    * Nudges. You know, when it feels like God is poking you in the ribs and saying, "Are you paying attention? Are you seeing this?"

    Those are mostly external signs. We'll talk more about the internal ones in future posts. For right now, I think this is enough to "obey" for now. That's the way God works, at least in my experience. Baby steps. Small doses. A building of trust, one block at a time. 

    If you want to comment -- and I totally hope you do -- tell us about a recent whisper you've had, a sound you need to move toward in some small way. If you don't think you've had one, sit down and journal about the last week and see what you discover. God is pretty much talking to us all the time, I think because we only catch about 1% of it so God has to pour it on. Tell us what you hear, what you can move toward. That's obedience.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue   

And I just happen to have another opportunity for you.

I'm going to be gone May 2 - 6 (a little vacation this time) and I would love it if you could post a comment on OUR blog about any experiences you had as a tween (or since then, actually) related to being a witness to bullying. If you can:

    * briefly describe what was going on

    * tell how you felt witnessing that

    * explain why you did or didn't take any action to stop or report it

    * tell what happened as a result of your action or inaction

I'll have more requests on the subject of bullying over the next several months, since we're doing a series on it on Tween You and me. If you have experiences not related to being a bystander, save those for later.

I'll need these by Wednesday, May 1 , so again, just post them as comments HERE. It would be helpful if you could begin in CAPS: BYSTANDER STUFF FOR TWEENS.

I'm really appreciating your responses to yesterday's post "Back To the Future," so please keep those coming if you haven't commented yet. Your feedback will be incredibly helpful as we continue to reshape our blog. Thanks ladies.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue

First I want to thank PAIGE and RACHEL for their awesome posts. And for your equally as awesome responses to them. I'm still reading your comments and pondering them, so these are only a few examples of the depth I found there.

    "I think I have a story to tell and a burn on my heart to help people, especially teenagers. I get images in my mind sometimes of what a difference I can make."

    "Do you girls ever get the feeling that there's just so much hurt and pain in the world that you just don't know how to pray for it all?"

    "I feel like I have so many passions but that they don't really cross over into the job world. It gets confusing when there are people telling me to just hang on and maintain disciple, and then God is telling me to let go."

    "If I couldn't be the perfect person with the perfect exam score and the perfect university applicaton, I could just go and serve God for the rest of my life. Funny how that came as my back-up plan, not my first plan.  . . . So I guess what I'm trying to say is, we have a safety net in God." 

   "I"m still waiting to see how God is going to write my story."

    "I'm trying to be content. To be here, where I am. It's just not always easy."

    "I feel a tug of responsibility."

    "I asked God to make my faith bigger than my fear. . .  The only way life is going to change, the only way things are ever going to be different, is if I learn to trust him, really, truly believe that he is faithful and that he loves me."

    "Another loss will come. I'll adjust. I think 'Ok, yeah, I can trust God. I can get through this,' and then another loss comes, and then another one, and I don't know if I can get through it. I don't really know if this story has a happy ending yet."

Again those are only a few. Yet they've confirmed what I think God's been saying to me for a few months now: our blog needs to be shaped and filled more and more by you and your offerings. I'll still act as mentor and set up series and get things going, sharing what I know to be true from my season of life. But I think you're all ready -- even those of you who have just stepped up from Tween You and me -- to take an even greater role in ministering to each other even as you yourselves grow.

Here's what I think that will look like, using the next phase of our "Giving Up Freaking Out" series as an example:

    (1) I'll ask you for very specific questions about the topic we're working on. So if you want to make a comment on this post, give a list of 3 to 5 questions/struggles/ WORRIES you have about facing the future. You've expressed several in recent responses to the guest posts but if you'll list them as specific questions/challenges/struggles that would be perfect.

    (2) I'll ask how you want to approach the topic. This is a good time for you to tell me what really works for you on In Real Life. Shorter posts? Longer posts? Posts that pose specific questions? Posts that are more open-ended? The Bible study-style series we've done (like on Mary in advent)? Quizzes? Live bLog parties? Weekend blog "retreats?"

    (3) I'll map out the series based on (1) and (2) and plan my posts.

    (4) Then I'll ask who wants to provide posts related to the plan and schedule those in. I'll publish those definitely if I'm going to be out of town but also as they fit in anytime. You won't just be my plan for the sub while the teacher's away!

    (5) I will ALWAYS want artwork, photography, or creative writing (stories and poems) that relate to the topic. All you have to do is send those to me attached to an email. Photos and scanned artwork need to be in jpg form (that's all Typepad will accept)

    (6) As we draw near the end of a series, I'll poll you for what you want to look at next. Often I'll know from your comment discussions, but I'll always check with you first. Any time you have an idea for a future series or even a single post you'd like from me, feel free to email me.

So what do you think? In additon to the items in red, let me know your reaction to this new approach in a comment or two (or three!) Some of this we've already been doing; it has grown sort of organically. But now I think it's time we all agreed that the blog is yours -- well, ours. Time to make it official!

You'll have until Monday to respond (although you can later if you miss this post for a few days) On Friday, my grand niece and her friend, who are both 15, will be here visiting me so we'll write the post together. I'll ask them what "freaks them out" !

I am SO proud of you girlies (as you call each other!) so let me say for about the hundredth time: it is an honor to walk this part of your journey with you, and to watch you begin to take the lead. Yeah, that's what i'm talkin' about.

Blessings,

Nancy Rue     

We've heard from ALISHA and PAIGE, and now you get to read what RACHEL has to say. Prepare to be inspired. I certainly was.

I’m sure all of you girls know about my passion for soccer.  I’ve been playing for 10 years of my life, and it’s always bothered me when people say sports are “just a game”.  Well, I’ve got news for them: soccer has been one of the most powerful tools that God has used to work in my life.  I’m not exaggerating.  And one of the greatest lessons I ever learned through my experience came two years ago, when I was struggling to understand what it means to “cast out your nets into the deep”.

            I was one of the best players on my competitive travel team, going all over the Midwest to play in games and tournaments with my 15 best friends.  I was a leader for my girls, always encouraging them to play to the best of their potential, to play up to my level.  I played every minute of every game and I was a winner.

            But God had other plans.  That summer, my picture-perfect team fell apart.  Out of nowhere, girls weren’t showing up at tryouts; they were switching clubs and I had had no idea.  In a panic, my mom and a teammate and I rushed over to the only tryout that hadn’t yet started.  It was for a great team, one that was even better than my old one.  And I made it.  But I was terrified.

            This was NOT the soccer I was used to.  The girls played so fast, and for the first time in my life, I wasn’t keeping up.  I was the shy new girl, because I was pretty much the worst player on our team.  I sat the bench for most of our games and struggled through drills that seemed like second nature to the other girls.  I lost my confidence and started playing scared.  I was so afraid of messing up that I wasn’t playing to win anymore; I was just trying not to fail.

            Week after week, I became more and more frustrated with myself.  And even more so with God.  What was He even thinking putting me here?  I wasn’t good enough, and at the rate I was going, I would never be good enough.  I’d be lucky to even make the team again next year.  When I finally stopped yelling at God long enough to take a breath, He reminded me of His call to the apostles: “Cast your nets into the deep.”

            There they had been, frustrated and exhausted after a fruitless day of exhausting fishing.  They had caught NOTHING, and Jesus was telling them to go out even further??  What was wrong with this guy?  But they did, and they could hardly contain all the fish that burst through their nets.  “You ARE weak,” I heard Him whisper in my heart.  “But my power is made perfect in your weakness.  I have greater plans for you than you could ever dream up for yourself.  But it’s your choice to settle for your anxious mediocrity or to trust me with your life, your heart.  The price of your sins and failures and shortcomings has been paid in the precious blood of my Son, the One who loves you beyond all telling.  You are free to choose, you are free to live fully in Me and I in you.”

            And I opened my heart and let Him reign.  I accepted that I’m NOT perfect.  I’m GOING to mess up.  A lot. But I have to mess up to learn and get better, and I’m not going to let that scare the joy out of the sport I love.  The game’s not exciting if everyone plays perfectly.  God had called me out into the deep, past what was comfortable for me, past what was in my nice little self-idealized bubble of perfection.  But I had decided to die to myself, to my fears and insecurities and my death-grip of control over everything.  I started playing to win.  I made riskier moves and passes, I tried new things, I played aggressively and with passion, no longer smothering myself with the fear that I might make a fool of myself.  I chose to play with joy and confidence, doing the work I’d been given with my whole heart.

            And wouldn’t you know it, but I started playing more.  It’s funny how God likes to do stuff like that J.  I’ve been starting games, hearing the words “Good work” coming from my coach’s mouth, seeing my parents beaming with pride when I walk off the field after a game.  I am so much happier than when I had been so focused on trying to meet my own expectations of never messing up.  Because at the end of the day, it is a little messy – hey, the apostles’ nets tore too – but it is infinitely more full of life and love and faith.

            And I think that’s what it is to trust in God’s plan for your future, to cast your nets into the deep.  It’s accepting that on your own, you ARE weak.  You have imperfections.  You mess up.  You sell yourself short and you DON’T know what’s best for you.  But you choose to die to yourself, to your own selfish ideals or the pressure of expectations, and live in His light.  When I let go of that perfectionist mindset, I didn’t care as much about being “successful”.  I just wanted to do my best at the work I’d been given.  I was living according to God’s plan, and for Him alone, and I was fulfilled beyond anything I could have imagined.

            So I want you girls to remember that God will never call us to more than we can handle – sometimes He just wants to show us how much He can really do in us.  And, now that you’ve survived my insanely long post (YAY! Pat yourself on the back for me), I’d love for you to think about where the deep waters are that God is calling YOU to.  No matter where you are in life, He is always beckoning you to come closer to Him, to go deeper and trust Him more and more with your whole self, past, present, and future.  If you’d like, please comment below and tell us where you feel that tug calling you to in the depths of your heart.  I know we’ll all be here praying and helping you to set your sails for those new waters.

Love and Blessings,

*Rachel*