Inbox Insanity

Photocopy Machine Privacy Issues! Scary Stuff

2011-04-18T10:27:00.000-05:00

The Arrogance of Authority

2011-03-16T16:11:00.000-05:00

The Arrogance of Authority

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas , and talked with an old rancher.He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me !"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.

"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land !!

No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear......do you understand ?!!"

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull......

With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.

The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....

(I just love this part....)

"Your badge, show him your BADGE........ ! !"

The Democrat

2011-03-13T18:37:00.002-05:00

A woman in a hot-air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse
me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,
but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2,346 feet
above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and
100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm
still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are
going..
You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You
made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve
your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in before we
met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

So You're Thinking About Taking a Cruise????

2011-03-11T16:08:00.002-06:00

You may want to think again. On these videos, you'll see a cruise ship getting battered by high seas from inside and out. These people are lucky to be alive. I think I'll pass on the cruise for my next vacation.

K-Cup Holder shameless plug

2011-01-19T15:28:00.000-06:00

If you're looking for aK-Cup Holder, please visit my friends website which specializes in k-Cup Holders. Thanks!

Best Classic Car Collection - A Must Watch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-13T08:41:00.003-06:00

Don't know where he got the money, but he has to much and should share it with us....If you haven't seen this one, you will agree it is one of the best classic car collections ever....Click here: YouTube - Tail Fins and Chrome features: Cars of Dreams

Elephants Never Forget

2010-08-31T12:50:00.003-05:00

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University ....

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,

after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments.

Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenage son.

As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and

walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down.

The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant.

Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs

and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

To Those of Us Born 1930 - 1979

2009-11-16T19:25:00.000-06:00

No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us, WE ARE AWESOME !!!!OUR LIFE IS LIVING PROOF !!!!

To Those of Us Born 1930 - 1979
At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, pleaseread what he said.
Very well stated, Mr. Leno..
TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE1930's, 40's, 50's,60's and 70's!!
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs coveredwith bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes,we had baseball capsnot helmets on our heads.
As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.
We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this..

We ate cupcakes made with Lard, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank FLAV-OR- AID made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?
Because we were always outside playing....that's why!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on..No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were OKAY.
We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scrapsand then ride them down the hill,only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem
We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's,no surround-sound or CD's,no cell phones,no personal computers,no Internet and no chat rooms..

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.
We would get spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping pong paddles, or just a bare hand and no one would call child services to report abuse.
We ate worms and mud piesmade from dirt, andthe worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team.Those who didn't had to learnto deal with disappointment.
Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the bestrisk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.
The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. What can kids today do besides push buttons.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!
You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were..

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?
~ The quote of the month is byJay Leno:
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu, swine flu, and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go ahead and delete this.

For the rest of us...send this link to a friend...

Quit Complaining About Your Job

2009-09-20T13:27:00.001-05:00

Why Boys Need Parents

2009-09-20T13:08:00.003-05:00

The American Tax System

2009-09-17T14:09:00.000-05:00

The American Tax System.....

Okay, so you all know I sorely lack math and actually even arithmetic skills (!!) but I found this kind of interesting anyway!

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it
would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. Since you are all such good customers, he said, I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beers by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80. The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?? They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay. And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before and the first four continued to drink for free, but once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings. I only got a dollar out of the $20, declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man, but he got $10! Yeah, that's right, exclaimed the fifth man. I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got TEN times more than I! That's true!! shouted the seventh man. Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks! Wait a minute, yelled the first four men in unison. We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor! The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up. The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something very important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes DO get the most benefit from a tax reduction. They also PAY more than the rest. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

Perception - Joshua Bell at Washington Metro Station

2009-09-17T05:09:00.001-05:00

..something to think about...

Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:

the violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk..

6 minutes:

A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:

A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:

The musician played continuously. Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace. The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:

He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people's priorities.. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

One possible conclusion reached from this experiment could be this: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made.... How many other things are we missing?

Anti Obama T-Shirts

2009-09-16T09:14:00.004-05:00

People of Walmart

2009-09-13T08:50:00.007-05:00

Originally there were funny captions that go along with this email entitled People of Walmart. I think however, the People of Walmart speak for themselves. Don't get me wrong, I love Walmart. We must admit though, there are some interesting people that come along with super low prices.

If men wrote advice columns

2009-08-18T12:00:00.001-05:00

Click picture to enlarge.

Random Photographs

2009-08-03T07:40:00.006-05:00

Photo Magnets

A Short Story About a Special Women.

2009-08-01T07:52:00.000-05:00

One day, long, long ago, there lived a beautiful woman who did not whine, nag or bitch...

But that was a long time ago and
it was just that one day.

The End

Photo Magnets

2009-07-15T08:39:00.004-05:00

I have found a great product for hanging pictures of my family and children. I love taking pictures, but even more so, I love looking at pictures of my family. With Easy Photo Magnets, I can hang the pictures I print from home in seconds. For all you people that we're like me.....Get your photos off your hard drive and get some Easy Photo Magnets! Photo Magnets

Anti Obama Anti Democratic Bumper Stickers

2009-07-11T11:51:00.003-05:00

THIS WASN'T IN THE TRAVEL BROCHURE

2009-07-09T20:10:00.001-05:00

Nice Toilet Paper Dispenser

2009-07-09T19:43:00.001-05:00

Funny Brett Favre T-shirt

2009-07-09T19:32:00.003-05:00

Maybe its cuz I'm a cheese head myself, but I thought this was a pretty funny Brett Favre T-Shirt. Enjoy!

DOG GREETS MOTHER IN LAW

2009-07-05T08:05:00.001-05:00

Russian and Nigerian gas companies combine to form 'Nigaz' WTF?

2009-07-05T07:50:00.004-05:00

Racism debate after Russian and Nigerian gas companies combine to form 'Nigaz'

Gazprom has launched a new venture with Nigeria - the unfortunately-named 'Nigaz'

When a $2.5billion international venture is being planned you might expect there to be hours of debate over what to call it.

Yet branding is not the forte of some companies, it seems.

Russian Energy giant Gazprom has inadvertently walked into a racism row with the announcement of its joint venture in Nigeria - Nigaz.

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and his Nigerian counterpart Umaru Yar'Adua last week agreed the deal to build refineries, pipelines and gas power stations in Africa's most populous nation.

The name is meant to be an amalgamation of 'Nigeria' and 'Gazprom', pronounced 'nye-gaz', but it can be read phonetically as an offensive term for those of black African origin.

'How more derogatory can it be. Let's join forces in making our government rename this,' said the creator of 'Nigerians No Nigaz', a group on Facebook.

Many comments on the blunder were from white bloggers.

But others mocked the mistake - one African-American suggested a playlist of songs from U.S. hip-hop artists for the Nigaz launch party.

One Nigerian in Lagos said: 'White people are making too much of this.

'As long as the Russians pay us, they can call it what they like.'

BBC Article on NIGAZ

Free Tickets - Can anyone use these?

2009-06-30T07:50:00.000-05:00

I have four extra tickets for the Robbie Knievel (son of Evil Knievel)
event at Soldier Field this weekend if anybody wants them. He's going
to try to jump 1,500 Obama supporters with a bulldozer.

Should be a good time.