Incense & Insensibility

Bieber vs. The Prince's Hairline

2012-08-07T21:54:00.000-05:00

http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/justin-bieber-slams-prince-williams-thinning-hair-201278

Has this kid not gone the way of the proverbial dodo yet? I guess as long as auto-tune is still being doled out in Hollywood's tap water, there's no such luck. Yet. And here he is, giving Americans an even worse reputations than we already have, thanks to obnoxious, know-it-all, vapid celebrities. And with that, I give you:

Justin Bieber's "How to Be a Real Man":

Step 1: Have lips the color of strawberry wine, finish with gloss.
Step 2: Tweeze eyebrows to perfection.
Step 3: Pinch cheeks to achieve a demure blush.
Step 4: Spike hair into adorable pixie cut.
Step 5: Wear delicate chains around neck.
Step 6: Show just a hint of decolletage.
Step 7: Pierce both ears with timeless diamond studs.
Step 8: Sing in highest falsetto possible.
Step 9: Avoid working out to keep slender, willowy physique.
Step 10: Oh who am I kidding? You have to be a hermaphrodite to rock this like I do!

Bath & Body Works: Halloween

2011-10-30T12:22:00.006-05:00

I put off buying any Bath & Body Works Halloween products until they were on clearance, and I missed out on several items. But I did get quite a few good ones for dirt-cheap prices. I expected the scents to be a repackaging of existing fragrances, but they must be reformulations because while very similar to others, they are their own standalone gems. These 3 oz. lotions retailed at $5; I purchased 4 at $1.25/pop & am so glad I did! Super for full price, amazing for the discounted price. To my knowledge, these lotions don't have fragrance counterparts, but they're definitely fit for layering with similar scents.

Plum Potion

B&BW description: "sweet plum, blood orange and black raspberry"

My take: A definite plum, sweetened and only mildly tart, thankfully lacking the typical berry sourness. Blood orange has a deeper scent than most orange, so there's no citrus bite to this. It's not mentioned as a note, but this scent has a candied, vanilla touch that reigns in the plum, giving it a creamy, sugary background. This fragrance is my favorite of the Halloween products; it's the perfect blend of festive, autumnal, fruity and creamy. It's a strong, deep scent, but also lively & fruity enough to make it refreshing in warmer seasons.

Black Candy Apple

B&BW description: "juicy apple, caramelized sugar and irresistible vanilla"

My take: I honestly expected this to be the same as Winter Candy Apple, but it surprised me, being less musky-fruity than Winter Candy Apple & more buttery-warm. The apple-vanilla combo is strong at first whiff, but on application, the apple definitely takes a backseat to the vanilla as the caramelized sugar appears, warm and buttery. A nice now-and-then scent suited for colder weather.

Scream-a-Colada

B&BW description: "creamy coconut, juicy pineapple and a hint of rum"

My take: Oh wow. I was skeptical at a pina colada fragrance for Halloween, but I'm a sucker for anything tropical, so I ordered it. It does smell similar to B&BW's other coconut-type scents, but it has its own character that I just love. It blows me away in the bottle, cool, juicy and wet with coconut & pineapple, but on application, the rum note adds a warmth that really make it work for autumn. It's a cool, summery favorite warmed up just enough, and who doesn't love a sweet spirit for Halloween! :)

Wicked Spiced Pumpkin

B&BW description: "white pumpkin, fresh ginger and whipped vanilla musk"

My take: Not the typical pumpkin scent I was expecting, this is a definite musky cream base with a subtle, toasty pumpkin. In the bottle, I smelled Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin, which I love but was hoping for something different...which it certainly is on application. This isn't so much a spicy pumpkin as it is a wholesome, creamy concoction. It's like pumpkin musk, warm and cozy, subtly sweet. festive enough for Christmas.

Re-joining the blogging life

2011-10-17T20:01:00.002-05:00

The more I regain my interest in writing, the more I realize how much I miss blogging. As lame as it may seem to think anyone might care what I have to say, basically I just like blogging for the sake of, well...just because.

So I'm getting back into the swing of it. Let the games begin!

Reviews for new holiday Lush & Halloween BPAL products coming soon.

Scumbag Mentoring

2009-03-20T13:53:00.003-05:00

Yesterday as I waited at Uncle Ben's for a tanning bed to open up, I was privy to an exchange between 2 men; one younger, who kept staring at me, the other older & much shorter, resembling a wasp w/ a grizzled grey beard...

Younger Man: “…Yeah, ‘bout to go pick up my son.” [It’s about 4:30 p.m]

Older Man: [incoherent] “…Yeah, yeah, they grow up fast.” [blah blah blah]

[At this point, the cashier is waiting on me & the conversation fades into the background. Then I hear:]

Younger Man: “…have to find a babysitter; not easy for a single dad to do...” [ more blah blah blah]

Older Man: “…I never was around my kids ‘til they got growed. I told their mama I wonted a divorce but she’d hafta keep the kids…”

Younger Man: [incoherent agreement] “Yeah, yeah…”

I don’t know if Younger Man was trying to impress anyone w/in earshot by indicating that he’s a single dad, but he probably didn’t count on the fact that someone w/in earshot had a father just like him & his friend: deadbeats who love the act of procreation as long as they have a woman to dump their kids on like unwanted luggage.

Lesson for the day: If you think you’re going to score chicks with your deadbeat dad routine, better work on your game, noob.

Working at Braums: rocket science?

2009-03-15T20:34:00.002-05:00

I set out today w/ Wendy, Olivia, Bobby & Josh to eat at Pete's Place in McAlester. I'd never been & although I'm a bit disappointed in myself for not trying the peach beer, I did find out why Wendy, et. al., love the place so much. It's a weird atmosphere; the place looks more like an apartment complex than a restaurant. But the food was amazing, & abundant! For my part, I ordered the alfredo, but the entire table had an all-you-can-eat supply of spaghetti, meatballs, ravioli, garlic bread, salad & pickled peppers.

After a joke done in poor taste at Wendy's expense, we headed to Braum's under some false expectation that we could cram more food into our stomachs. Well, I was able to, for some reason, scarf down 2 scoops in a waffle cone, half of Bobby's sundae & part of Wendy's. Although it's a surprise I ever got the cone... Allow me to illustrate:

Me: "I'd like a Strawberry Shortcake Sundae."
Waitress: [with sundae cup in hand] "We're out of Strawberry Shortcake."
Me: "Oh, hm, ok. Just gimme 2 scoops on Pineapple Almond in a waffle
cone."
Waitress: [scoops Pineapple Almond into sundae cup] "Did you want the
chocolate & stuff on it?"
Me: [staring] "Um, I want it in a cone."
Waitress: [shows me the cup] "Ma'am, sundaes come in a cup."
Me: [staring] ".......Yes. I wanted 2 scoops of that in a cone."
Waitress: [looks baffled]

Something tells me she didn't exactly turn down a position at NASA...

Well, unfortunately, I got home to discover 5 vehicles in the driveway. And a missing kitten. Apparently, the kids had been playing. Apparently, they scared the bejeesus out of her & she ran away. Either that, or jumped into one vehicle, whose doors were open when I drove up. I LOVE being disregarded entirely. I think it's about time to move so I can take care of my own s*** w/out worrying that others will be around who don't give a rat's a**.

A Few Words Concerning Kissassery

2009-03-11T08:08:00.000-05:00

Ah, the fun of a clique! Oh, unless you're not included in one, that is, because of your refusal to participate in workplace sycophancy. Most people in positions of authority are repulsed by the obsequious flattery of the suck-up, preferring instead the straightforward worker with a smidgeon of dignity. But unfortunately, there are bosses in the smalltowns of the world who are either blinded by the flattery & think it equates to hard work, or who simply enjoy the feeling of having their rumpuses smooched because of the power buzz that accompanies it.

It always strikes a bitter note with non-suck-ups when told "we need to all get along & work together" although it has become clear that lines have been drawn by the employer. How are people expected to "work together" & be happy in their work environment when deference is given to those who fawn & grovel? And correct me if I'm wrong, but groveling denotes a lack of pride, and why would a boss reward a worker with no dignity? Yes, it's a mystery to me, too.

Speaking from personal experience & observation, it seems the people who try to do a good job are the ones taken advantage of when saddled with extra duties at no extra pay (and an already-shameful salary). Money is one thing, but when a hard worker can't even eke out a "good job!" from the boss, the first seeds of bitterness are sewn. It's a pity that those who like to seem like they do a lot, only do it because of the image it gives them. Sometimes going the extra mile is for the sole benefit if the person doing all the extra goodies for the boss. An even bigger pity when the boss falls for it - hook, line & sinker. I can't imagine why it's so hard for an employer to realize that workers who've become shirkers have done so over an extended period of time; being underpaid & underappreciated is a rather disheartening experience.

Another thing that absolutely blows my mind is the allowance of some workers to have someone else, a lower-level sycophant, do their work for them. How does this equal "going the extra mile"? It's simply someone who has gluteus-smooched their way into the boss's good graces, getting some other upwardly mobile leech to do their bidding. Not only is it disgusting, I find it rather sad that the leech has no idea they're being used. That's right; leeches, you're not being appreciated, you're not the "go-to-guy/girl"...you are the little bristly boot scraper outside the door on which the boss cleans his dog-pooh shoes.

There is one bright-side to this infrastructure, though. Those who have become disheartened have the self-respect to always look for something better, for a way to work up in the world, whereas the smalltown suck-up will, probably, never be anything but a smalltown suck-up.

Entering Hyperspace!

2009-03-05T11:22:00.001-06:00

Hidy-ho little blog! I have a full update on my old MySpace blog, but this is new & I'm starting fresh. Something that I used to do in my MySpace blog was a "Some Things" list of random observations, rules, theses, etc. I haven't even blogged in 3 months, much less produced a Some Things list in quite some time. What better way to start a new non-MySpace blog than with my favorite mode of blogging: Some Things...

1. Don't assume that people aren't working just because they don't look busy. Chances are, if you walk into a bank, errrrrr I mean business, & say, "Do ya'll ever work? Hyuck hyuck!" or some variation thereof, you may not receive optimal customer service.

2. The Silver Diner in Laurel, MD has the best blueberry pancakes you will ever devour.

3. Botany is not merely the study of plants; it takes perversion to an artform. Take tree core samples with an imaginative bunch of people and you'll know what I'm talking about.

4. Cab driver's name, cab company, cab number: know these when you take one.

5. Good things really are worth waiting for. Yep.

6. 14 children = 1 good argument for a fascist government, which would step in & have the mother spayed so taxpayers (who are scraping by as it is) won't have the burden of supporting said 14 children while the mother is hunting endorsements & book deals.

7. Consolation prizes seem nice when you have them, but when you get what you wanted all along, you know how lucky you are that the consolation prize went the way of the dodo.

8. Why do toothache medicines get funky after a couple of weeks? Yes, I realize this is a question because I've never figured it out.

9. The WTF (World Travel Fund) is still accepting donations.

10. Don't knock someone for being 28, unmarried & childless. It only makes my life sound better & you sound bitter that you saddled yourself at a young age.

11. Forestry Centers are better classrooms than any drab college building anyday.