Inciting A Riot

Episode 187: Inciting Peter Paige's Riot

2021-12-14T05:00:00.001-06:00

Queer as Folk's Peter Paige on the legacy of his career, stepping behind the camera to craft queer-centric television shows and movies like The Fosters and The Thing About Harry, casting cishet actors in queer roles, and where Hollywood goes from here.

Connect with Peter Paige here.

Help keep the show free and producing on a regular basis by chipping in whatever you can. You can buy me a Ko-fi (a one time donation of your choosing) https://ko-fi.com/incitingariot or join my Patreon on a monthly basis. Patrons receive additional audio and video content as well as archived episodes, a private Discord server, and monthly chats with special guests! Sign up at Patreon.com/IncitingARiot.

Order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 186: Inciting A Forest's Edge Riot

2021-11-30T05:00:00.001-06:00

The witch is a curious figure, existing in a uniquely liminal space of both fact and fiction, this world and the next. Many practitioners of magic walk a path that carefully stays in that middle ground, but a few heed the call to peek beyond the hedge, to walk amongst ancestors and spirits and gods and beings for which we don’t yet have names.

It can be daunting, to leave that comfortable middle path, but Christine Grace’s book The Witch at the Forest’s Edge provides a gentle, encouraging hand to hold as you take your first steps past the hedge into the world beyond. The advice is practical, grounded in a practice that begins with what you have on hand and in your surroundings, includes discussion of ancestry and the many ways that family is made and found, and includes a deeply appreciated section on magical ethics. This book is practical, fresh, and will help guide a whole new generation off the well-trod path to embrace the old, wild magic found beyond the hedge.

Get more of Christine Grace here.

Order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 185: Inciting A Squad Riot

2021-11-16T05:00:00.001-06:00

When I wrote an article for Writer's Digest about witchcraft in stories, I said that the best stories aren't about the magic but about the power. In science fiction and fantasy writing, I've found that a superpower or access to magic or a special tool that grants an ability - whatever it is - isn't nearly as interesting as the power that it grants the user. The ability for magic to level a playing field, to allow the righting of wrongs.

In her latest graphic novel, Squad (illustrated by Lisa Sterle), author Maggie Tokuda-Hall tells a story of werewolves, yes, but the story is far more about a young girl finding the power to fit in, to feel in control of her life for the first time ever. We talk about her new work, the importance of queer representation, receiving critique, and how we'd rewrite Mean Girls if we could.

Buy her new book here: https://bookshop.org/a/56826/9780062943149

Order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 184: Inciting A Day of the Dead Riot

2021-11-02T05:00:00.001-05:00

The Day of the Dead, El Día de los Muertos, is a celebration originating in Mexico. It's been gaining visibility and popularity in the United States and beyond thanks in part to films like Book of Life and Coco. However, a lot of misconceptions surround this cultural event, such as it being a "second Halloween". Too often elements of the celebration are taken piecemeal by those from outside the culture and used as costume or in ways that remove the context or history behind it - such as calavera face paint.

Jaime Gironés has written a phenomenal new book, Llewellyn's Little Book of the Day of the Dead, to guide you through the history of the holiday, the myths and traditions surrounding it, and how it can be appreciated - and even adapted - in your household.

Order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 183: Inciting A Hallowed Riot 2021

2021-10-29T08:23:00.000-05:00

Every year around Halloween, I gather together a collection of stories, poems, and songs from around the magical world to help bring a bit of magic to your Samhain season. This year's Hallowed Riot features the following works:

The Lockkeepers's Door - original short story by Vinna Harper

Dawn of Maw - an excerpt from Taylor Narváez Claman

Love Letter to Hades part 2 - a poem by Lauren Theresa

travel - a poem from the book while I wait to be a god again read by Cory Hutcheson

Verity Vox & King Earl - a full-cast short story by Fire Lyte

Cast

Verity Vox - Jax in the Box
Tacita Tarry - November Sierra
King Earl - Cory Hutcheson
Gilly Green - Vinna Harper

Order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 182: Inciting A Femme While Gaming Riot

2021-10-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

Being a femme presenting person in an online space is to constantly walk a minefield of harassment, intimidation, and abuse. To have your authority questioned and your opinion overlooked in favor of a man's. Things aren't better behind the screens either. Earlier this year a lawsuit against one of the world's biggest game makers, Activision Blizzard, brought to light a long-standing "frat boy" culture that permeated all levels of the company and promoted a culture of harm.

My deepest gratitude to my guests Cara and Deme for their honesty and contribution to this discussion.

Order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 181: Inciting A Bad Witch Burning Riot

2021-10-05T05:00:00.001-05:00

Recently I was asked to define some important rules to remember when writing about witchcraft, especially in fiction. My response was to keep in mind that it's never about the magic but about the power that magic provides. For many of us who are drawn to the witchy characters in fiction and folklore, we're often drawn to the witch's ability to level the playing field in an otherwise unfair society using some form of magic. In the new book Bad Witch Burning by Jessica Lewis, this dynamic is played out in one of the most unique and harrowing character studies I've seen in recent years.

Her book takes on not only what it means to be a young black girl living in poverty and under the care of abusive parents, but what happens when that young girl realizes she has tremendous abilities that allow her to not just communicate with the dead but bring them back. It's a slow burn novel that's perfect to kick off spooky season.

Find more of Jessica Lewis here.

Order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 180: Inciting A Witch vs Witch Riot - with Thorn Mooney

2021-09-21T05:00:00.001-05:00

Being an author shares a lot of similarities with being a witch. Much of the work we do is alone, toiling away at improving skills or deepening our knowledge about obscure topics. Should we work in groups it's typically in very small circles of trusted peers. The other way that witches and authors are alike is that the general public has a lot of very wrong opinions about what it's like to be one.

So, that's why Thorn Mooney, author of the new (phenomenal) book The Witch's Path and I sat down to chat about publishing, marketing, the pressures that come with authorship, the weird authority we place on books, and the writing process itself. It's a long conversation in which we interview each other about our respective work, our goals, and where we each want to go from here.

You can find more about Thorn Mooney here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 179: Inciting A Texas Abortion Ban Riot

2021-09-10T05:00:00.002-05:00

In recent days a new law went into effect in the state of Texas prohibiting access to an abortion after 6 weeks. 6 weeks after what, though? Conception? Your period? Something else? And why so restrictive? And why are so many organizations setting up websites to gather tips about patients, providers, and those that aid them? This conversation requires an expert to guide us through the nuance, and I'm grateful that Dr. Leah Torres returned to lead us through the thick of the issues.

Follow Dr. Torres on Twitter @LeahNTorres and learn more about her work at LeahTorres.com.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 178: Inciting A Shadow Work Riot

2021-09-07T06:00:00.007-05:00

Shadow Work is a trend that seems to have come out of nowhere in the last two years. One cannot explore much of witchy social media these days without seeing recommendations to “do your shadow work”, which seems to mean anything from “go to therapy” to “meditate more” to “write your feelings in a journal”. As with many trends, plenty of people are trying to commodify it with spiritual advisors selling shadow work services alongside tarot and astrology readings, sometimes inserting it into a reading without prior notice. Spiritual dabblers are buying up Shadow Work journals and seeking out more information about how to do this work themselves or with a professional. But…what is it and what makes a professional Shadow Work…er?

Shadow Work is a term stemming from Jungian psychology and is a part of trauma therapy, a sensitive practice where licensed trauma counselors assist patients with processing serious traumatic events in their lives. It is delicate, difficult work that takes years of training to master. Because of the nature of this form of therapy, there are a number of risks involved with undertaking it, and even more risks when determining what kind of professional should assist you.

I spoke to Lauren Theresa, a licensed Trauma Therapist and witch, to unpack how this term got wrapped up in modern spiritual discourse, what it really means, whether the online community’s version of shadow work matches up with reality, and what warning signs to look out for when beginning shadow work. Find more of Lauren Theresa at LaurenTheresa.com.

Shadow Work Resources and Tips from Lauren Theresa

If Shadow Work is calling you, always use your intuition and check in with yourself first. Make a mental (or written) inventory of the darkest place you might go, the lowest points you’ve been. When diving into your shadows, you have to be prepared to navigate those depths. It is an incredible process and looks different to everyone, but as with everything deep and important, it’s not without its risks.
If Shadow Work is calling you, always use your intuition and check in with yourself first. Make a mental (or written) inventory of the darkest place you might go, the lowest points you’ve been. When diving into your shadows, you have to be prepared to navigate those depths. It is an incredible process and looks different to everyone, but as with everything deep and important, it’s not without its risks.

Securing a Therapist

Ideally, everyone would have a licensed, trauma informed, mental health practitioner available to walk with them through this process or at least be on call for if/when the waters get choppy. I always recommend looking into a trauma informed therapist. Some key words include trauma therapist, Jungian, depth-oriented, EMDR, somatic therapist, art therapist, etc. These words tip off that the individual has experience in not only symptom management or crisis situations, but also in navigating the deeper stuff.

When you can’t find a good fit in-network or sliding scale

When possible, go through insurance or someone with a sliding scale option. If you’ve been unable to find a good fit through insurance, contact your insurance carrier and ask then about a “single case agreement.” This is an arrangement between your therapist and insurance carrier, because by law insurance has to provide reasonable and appropriate coverage. For example if you’ve had a formal PTSD diagnosis in the past but can’t find anyone clearly “trauma informed” or with “EMDR” training within a reasonable distance, insurance has to cover someone who is. It’s not an easy process but I have seen it play out.

Keep going, but have a safety net

If accessing a trauma therapist doesn’t seem like a necessary or viable option, it’s still good to have some resources on hand. Within the US, there are free community mental health centers as well as “mental health helplines.” In addition, having a list of individuals or other community members who can be a support to you is key. Knowing who to call if you need it will only help the process and assist you in going deeper. Think of it as a safety net.

Diving in

As we talk about in the podcast, our defenses get a bad rap but they are truly amazing. Our conscious mind knows our limits and we will often only go as deep as we are capable of managing. Those are vital and important protective responses. I wholly support diving into your own work. If that online journal resonates with you, look into it (though honestly a blank one works just as well.) There are some additional books that can help when diving into the imaginal realms and setting the stage. Some good starting points are:

Inner Work, Robert Johnson
A Little Book on the Human Shadow, Robert Bly
and literally everything by Marion Woodman

And remember, be very wary of practitioners outside the field of mental health that claim to facilitate shadow work. You’re tasking this individual with peeling back your well built defenses and bringing the deepest, darkest parts of yourself to the fore. That is not something to take lightly.

Support the Show

If you like this show and want to support it, there are a number of ways to help. Consider liking and sharing it on social media. You can also rate the show 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a review. Help keep the show free and producing on a regular basis by chipping in whatever you can. You can buy me a Ko-fi (a one time donation of your choosing) https://ko-fi.com/incitingariot or join my Patreon on a monthly basis. Patrons receive additional audio and video content as well as archived episodes, a private Discord server, and monthly chats with special guests! Sign up at Patreon.com/IncitingARiot.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com
FireLyte@incitingariot.com Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: beacons.ai/incitingariot

Episode 177: Inciting A Scientifical Riot

2021-08-24T05:00:00.002-05:00

Have you ever seen those food videos on YouTube where a chef or a food scientist tries out a series of “food hacks” found in those viral videos by places like 5-minute crafts or Blossom? The “hacks” as they’re commonly called showcase a new, easier way of cooking in well-edited videos lasting only a few seconds per recipe. Ostensibly, this is to help folks who don’t have a lot of cookware on hand or prior skill make something delicious in a way that’s cheap, accessible, and easy. Making brownies in a paper bag or caramel corn with a bit of candy and some kernels.

These videos are made in a way that most people find not only aesthetically pleasing, but enjoyable to watch and rewatch, to share with their friends, and, of course, to try and replicate. Some of the biggest channels on YouTube are these life hack or food hack videos, garnering hundreds of millions of views across multiple channels and raking in large sums of money for the never-seen owners of the channel.

Invariably, what the chef or food scientist realizes pretty quickly is there is a problem, several actually, with these slick, trendy videos: there are no lists of ingredients used, no temperatures provided, no times given, and no narrator telling you what they’re doing. So, when the expert attempts to replicate the video they immediately run into some problems and typically need to have a fire extinguisher on hand.

The food scientist or experienced chef can usually break down exactly why the hack doesn’t work as they’re showing you the technique used in the viral video. Either the recipe is missing a key ingredient that would cause the bread to rise or the video tells you to use something that would fall apart in real life. What is most often the case is, if you look closely, the videos are edited in a way that the end result is an already prepared dish that wasn’t made using the hack.

What does this have to do with a podcast about witches and other magical people? Well, we have similar issues with trendy, viral videos. Except, in our case, they typically come in the form of supernatural claims, ghost hunting videos, and the broad reaching world of paranormal entertainment programs.

In these videos you might see a person performing a feat of magic or displaying a supernatural ability - such as walking on water or fire - as proof of their gifts. In other videos, you might hear an investigator give long, detailed explanations about all of their technical equipment and how it will prove or disprove the presence of a ghost or other being.

While many people online making recipe videos or showing off life hacks or, as is the case in our topic today, hunting ghosts are doing it in good faith…there are a few out there that aren’t and they tend to be the most visible.

Going viral is a goal for a lot of people putting content online. It represents the chance to be seen by millions of people and to suddenly experience fame, receive a financial windfall, or accrue a legion of adoring fans hanging on their every word. Some people seek all three of those, some only one, but in either case what they’re usually seeking isn’t to provide a legitimate good or service to the world, but to increase their own standing in it.

This distinction is important, because it illustrates that the person’s motivation might end up causing harm on you, the end user. Harm can look like a lot of things. If you don’t know how to temper chocolate properly or how to handle it, you can do anything from destroy your cookware to need a trip to the ER to treat a burn. Likewise, if you are not cautious, a bad faith paranormal entertainer might take your time, money, or worse.

Kenneth Biddle joins a long line of people who investigate big claims of the possibly paranormal. Like his mythbusters predecessors, Biddle employs a knowledge of scientific research, fact checking, and common sense in his attempts to provide context and reasoning for some of the bigger, more outlandish claims of the paranormal floating around the internet today. He is my guest today in a long, important discussion about the science behind ghost hunting, the tools used and misused by paranormal entertainers, the spectrum of potential harm, and, of course, cryptids.

Find more from Kenneth Biddle here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 176: Inciting An IPCC Riot

2021-08-13T05:00:00.004-05:00

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change - otherwise known as the IPCC - just released their Sixth Assessment Report and it is pretty much all the various news outlets, politicians, and talking heads can discuss. But, it's a big report. The full report is thousands of pages long with hundreds of authors and well over 14,000 source citations. When all the headlines seem to say is something like IPCC Report Confirms We're All Gonna Die, it can be difficult to parse out what is important, what is relevant to you, and how much of the catastrophizing to believe.

That's where Dr. Sam Montano, the disasterologist herself, comes in. She's back to tell us what this report means, which parts she and other researchers are focused on, how alarmed we should be, and what the average consumer can do. We discuss issues like the California wildfires, the Line 3 pipeline in Minnesota, and even touch upon the current wave of COVID resurgence here in the United States.

Dr. Montano's recommendations:

Under the Sky We Make by Kimberly Nicholas
Hot Take Podcast with Mary Hegler

Find more of Dr. Montano's work here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 175: Inciting A Heathen Riot

2021-08-10T10:42:00.002-05:00

Paganism isn't immune to society's ills. While the same issues that plague the culture at large exist in all parts of our community in some way, it is groups associated with Norse Paganism - and all its related and parallel names, Asatru, Heathenry, Germanic Reconstructionism, and more - that most often come under scrutiny. White supremacy. Transphobia. Homophobia. Xenophobia. When one sees a headline from inside our community mentioning Heathens or Asatru or the like, there is a bit of white knuckling that happens before you click the mouse as you wonder...which one is it this time?

It can be difficult to navigate an authentic spiritual journey into Heathenry because of its associations with these and other issues, and those who do are often afraid to tell others they are Heathens for fear that they'll immediately be labeled a Nazi, or at least a Nazi sympathizer. However, one person is doing just that on the podcast Heathen's Journey.

Siri, the creator and host of the show, is a queer, non-binary practitioner who is hoping to reclaim the moniker of Heathen from those who would use it as a racist cudgel. They are my guest on episode 175, and we have a wide-ranging and discussion that doesn't shy away from topics such as why white supremacy seems to go hand in hand within Heathenry, the value of reclaiming symbols that have been appropriated by actual Nazis, and what it's like working as an ambassador for modern Paganism and Heathenry specifically in the Minnesotan prison system.

Get more from Siri here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 174: Inciting A Fire Magic Riot

2021-07-27T05:00:00.001-05:00

The element of fire has a long history in myth and magic. Fire transforms whatever it consumes, turning it into something new. Yes, of course, wood into charcoal, but it also cooks our food and warms our home. Metaphysically, it is the energetic spark that burns away the parts of us that do not serve our growth and makes way for what should be. Of course, it's a personal favorite of mine.

Josephine Winter wrote a whole book about Fire Magic, examining the subject from all angles, adding her unique perspective as an Australian witch and Wiccan. It is an excellent book and it is the subject of our interview.

Find more of Josephine Winter here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 173: Inciting A Brujería Riot

2021-07-13T05:00:00.001-05:00

The magical tradition of brujería is shrouded behind a veil made of assumption, colonization, and entitlement. We assume quite a lot about it. One common assumption is that it’s simply the word for witchcraft in Spanish and therefore anyone practicing any kind of magic is, indeed, practicing brujería.

Learning about this tradition is difficult and confusing for a newcomer. If you don’t already know where to go or who to ask, you do what a lot of people do - you go online and look for books or YouTube videos or podcasts. The issue there is that the novice is suddenly faced with the task of discerning which practitioners are coming from a place of genuine scholarship, cultural ownership, or good faith.

Too often practices such a brujería, hoodoo, yoga, or reiki are mined by white, western practitioners for magic that will be appealing to suburban audiences, stripped of the fullness and context of the culture from which they originate. They might be combined in a slapdash manner with other practices hailing from unrelated spiritual traditions and sold back to you as genuine for a nice profit.

In that murky space it can be difficult to discern how to start learning and where to go once you’re on the path.

I spoke to Laura Davila, a lifelong bruja and hechicera who hails from a family of practitioners in Mexico. She came to the US a few years ago and discussed what it means to be a cultural carrier of this magical tradition, who can claim ownership, what gates exist to brujería and who - if anyone - are the gatekeepers.

Find out more from Laura on her Instagram or Twitter.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Cool Mommy: How Margaret Cho taught me to compartmentalize.

2021-06-29T09:00:00.067-05:00

When I was introduced to Margaret Cho in the early 2000s it was as though I'd been handed something illicit, like it was a nod of acknowledgment that I'd been allowed into a community I didn't know for sure existed. Not in real life anyway. This was back in the days of Limewire and Ares Galaxy and 40 minute download times for a single song on a dial up internet connection. (If you're reading this, and you're from a music company, I'm simply referencing the era and not at all admitting that I illegally downloaded music or gay comedy albums. In an unrelated note: I know all the words to Hakuna Matata in French.)

I instantly fell in love with it. At the time Cho was doing this kind of lowest common denominator humor that by today's standards feels wildly problematic. To my young ears, however, it was a revolution. She told me that if I am hated for who I like to fuck, I should kick up my heels and fuck. She joked about gay men and fag hags and the long history and switching power dynamics that existed between the two, a trope I would later come to have a lot of complicated feelings about. She spoke to a version of myself that I hadn't become yet. An older, cooler, more experienced person who was "out", whatever that might mean for a closeted gay kid carrying a lot of shame growing up in a small town.

Like a lot of my cultural introductions from that time, Cho's comedy came to me by way of a recommendation and a file transfer from someone I've never met in real life. A fellow internet gay whose name and face I've since forgotten but who was navigating life in that weird space where Will & Grace was the number one comedy on television while Matthew Shepard was a name everyone knew. Network television saw success in Queer Eye for the Straight Guy while cable had the American adaptation of Queer as Folk. Literally any representation at the time felt like an actual miracle, but it came with understood rules. We could be gay, but we couldn't have a penis.

Oftentimes, existing in this space meant being okay with being the butt of the joke. When we were on television or film at all, we were either the victim of a hate crime, an AIDS patient, or our ostentatious homosexuality was making audiences laugh comfortably from their position of polite homophobia. This same laughing audience included my parents, my mother especially, who had gay friends in the orchestra and local theatre and a longtime relationship with her hairdresser whom she would have absolutely told you she loved.

I don't remember that internet guy's name, but I do remember that he sent me a clip from a Margaret Cho stand-up called "Are you gay?". It was the one where Cho's mother leaves her a voicemail asking her if she's gay after she worked a lesbian cruise. "Why you no tell mommy?" Cho cries in an affected mimic of her mother. "You can tell mommy. You have a cool mommy." The entire clip was somewhere around 4 minutes, and it made me laugh in that rare way where you actually think you're going to hurt yourself if you laugh any harder. Tears. Lots and lots of tears were shed. I laughed for problematic reasons I understood - accents are funny and because Cho is doing the accent I'm in on the joke while ignoring my own internalized racism - and reasons I didn't understand at the time - might I also be hoping my mother would ask me if I'm gay and tell me she's cool?

It was around this time that I'd become comfortable in what my relationship with my parents was going to be, the kind of relationship you see people grow into. Sure, I'd have to overlook the light bout of conversion therapy or the questions about whether or not I should be a mentor to young children because if I'm "confused" about my sexuality maybe I'm also a pedophile, but those were little things, right? With enough time and distance we'd do what we did with every other dirty secret in the family: we'd simply never talk about it. I thought I would move away and become an intellectual who wore a lot of sweaters and had a "roommate" and showed up with bells on to every family function. Beloved by my parents from a distance. I thought all of these things were aspirational qualities. The best I could hope for.

In that comfort, we shared a love of comedy. My parents loved comedians. They loved listening to comedy CDs in the car. There was the CD I got at church camp where my mother was scandalized because he said "What the hell?" at one point. There was, of course, Tim Allen and the rest of the network comedy lineup. As I got older and began working at a big blue box electronics store, I started discovering my own taste in comedy. Small names nobody had ever heard of doing edgy comedy like Ellen DeGeneres. (This is a joke.) I owned DeGeneres' comedy DVD. My parents and I watched it together. My dad to this day still quotes one of Ellen's jokes about there being too much pickle juice in pickle jars.

Edgy stuff.

They laughed at all of it, even the jokes about being gay. In retrospect I think I took that early laughter as a sign that maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep down, they were people who might one day be accepting of gay people. Like my mother's hairdresser. Like her orchestra colleagues. I took it all as patchwork promises of unspoken evolution on the matter. Now I understand that there was what they tolerated in other people and what was expected of their son. Homosexuality is something that happened to other people's families.

So, when I was a baby gay on the Internet getting by on dial up and a prayer and a mysterious older gay who seemed so mature, so worldly, sent me a hilarious comedy sketch, I of course thought I should have my mom listen to it. I remember the scene vividly.

My brother was there. My mother was there. We were using this massive Dell computer with the tower and the separate wired speakers and the mouse that would stop working if you thought about the color yellow or it was Thursday. We all laughed. A lot. We played it multiple times. We all took turns doing the accent and repeating the lines to one another. (Yes, that's incredibly awful. I was 17 and had no idea.) Then my mother, in the middle of our good time, says:

"I hope y'all know you don't have a cool mommy."

A part of me I hadn't named yet died right then. The cut was quick and clean. She was affirming that were either of us to ever come out, she would not be cool with it. My brother continued to laugh, utterly unfazed by what she had just said. I don't recall actually responding, because what do you say when you're not out and it's something like 2002-2003 and playing a ~~pirated~~ comedy sketch by a queer comedian was an unconscious testing of waters only to find out that the waters are deep and toxic? I know I stopped laughing and pretended I was very busy clicking something on the computer for a brief moment, then I continued in with the laughter.

My family continued to listen to Ellen DeGeneres comedy albums. We shared a love of Ron White and caught every episode of Whose Line is it Anyway?. When they later came to visit me in Chicago, we made it a point to go see a show at Second City. But, I never again played Margaret Cho around my parents. In fact, that was around the time I began screening content that I enjoyed before sharing it with them. It was around the time when I had to begin asking myself - mostly unconsciously - whether this funny thing I wanted to share would be ruined just a little bit if I shared it with them. Would there be a possibility of rejection and uncomfortable conversation? Margaret Cho's "Are you gay?" bit was a sign at a crossroads that I would come back to hundreds and hundreds of times in the subsequent decades.

It is this felicific calculus I have to perform that has created infinitely compartmentalized versions of myself. My parents know a version of me, but they do not know me.

I thought of this moment again a few years ago when my mother told me that one of her students had come out to her. She was frankly pretty devastated, because she didn't know what to do with this information. Why would he do this to me? she asked. What does he expect me to do with that? She told me that he'd looked at her social media and seen pictures of the two of us together. Smiling. Happy. All while I was very clearly gay. He asked if she might help him talk to his parents, because they were incredibly conservative and not cool. His thinking was that if she could accept me, she could also be a safe space for him, too. Except, she told him that I make her comfortable by not "throwing my lifestyle in her face". She told him not to expect acceptance and that if he was going to choose to tell them, he needed to be prepared to face those consequences on his own.

Another little part of me I didn't have a name for died then, too. By that time I'd been with my husband for over ten years. By then we'd shared integrated family gatherings. By then there had been a lot of opportunity for growth and change and evolution. But she was still quite comfortable in affirming that she would never be the cool mommy.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Episode 172: Inciting A Pilgrim Riot

2021-06-29T05:00:00.004-05:00

Almost everyone at some point looks around at their lives and asks why. We wonder why our family believes in the politics we do or eats the foods we eat. We also wonder about where our beliefs come from. Oftentimes those questions and the subsequent journey after lead people to interact with the magical community. But, what if you are already here? What if you were raised in a magical household? Where do your questions take you, then? To other religions?

Dr. Eric Scott is a co-editor for The Wild Hunt, a researcher on the subject of spiritual pilgrimage, and has the unique quality of having been raised by witches. He did what many of us do. He looked around at his magical existence and asked where it all came from and whether it all fits his worldview, and then he set out to find those answers.

What he finds is just about what you’d expect to find: that a lot of what he believes and practices was simply cobbled together or made up in recent decades by…some guy. So, the question is then…what do you do when you find out that your belief system and worldview is made up? By some guy? And is there still value to be found in faith despite knowing its origins?

Find more of Eric Scott here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 171: Inciting An Afrominimalist Riot

2021-06-15T05:00:00.001-05:00

Episode 171 is an interview with author, anti-racism activist, and minimalist Christine Platt. We discuss her new book, The Afrominimalist's Guide to Living with Less, which brings a fresh new perspective to the conversation of minimalism. Platt guides her reader through the sociological and psychological ways in which we form attachments to things and patterns of accumulation, not to tell you to get rid of all your stuff or to only have so many of a given item, but to help you build a home and life that is created with intention. She doesn't shy away from the fact that too often marginalized communities are left out of these types of dialogue, often because minimalism is marketed to well-off cishet white people with a steep price tag, and seeks to create a new kind of inclusive community of minimalists and those who wish to live with less.

Find more about Christine here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 170: Inciting A Queer Riot

2021-06-01T05:00:00.001-05:00

Episode 170 is a roundtable with a diverse group of queer practitioners from around the world representing multiple facets of the magical community. The modern Pagan community is seen by many as focusing on fertility and binary gender identity which can leave LGBTQ+ practitioners feeling disenfranchised. We explore the notion of being LGBTQ+ in a fertility religion, embracing the term 'queer' as well as other terminology with a problematic past, spiritual bypassing used as a means to invalidate lived experience, and how cishet Pagans can be better allies.

My sincerest thanks to my guests, Mhara Starling, Honey, and Phoenix Coffin-Williams. Please find their contact information below:

Mhara Starling

That Honey Witch

Phoenix Coffin-Williams

Stream the full episode:

Support the Riot

Pre-Order My Book

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here: https://bit.ly/DabblersGuide

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 169: Inciting An Expert Riot

2021-05-18T11:36:00.007-05:00

Episode 169 asks What is an expert? Is it formal academic achievement? Certifications? Is being an expert subjective to the field itself? To answer that question, I've brought together a circle of experts in different fields to parse out the finer points of the discourse surrounding expertise.

We discuss bona fides, goalposts, how experts identify experts and the way they identify frauds, the ways in which certifications and titles are both helping and hurting the identification of experts, and by the end of the episode you'll be initiated into the Kevin Bacon tradition of witchcraft and heading off to a goat rodeo.

Find more from my guests here:

Meg Elison

Thorn Mooney

Marika Clymer

Support the Riot

Pre-Order My Book

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 168: Inciting A Pagan Music Riot

2021-05-04T14:53:00.002-05:00

Episode 168 of Inciting A Riot is a roundtable with some familiar voices. I am welcoming back Rene Collins, Ginger Doss, SJ Tucker, and Cheshire Moon to the podcast. They are some of modern Paganism's foremost musical acts, and we had a delightful conversation about the business of independent artistry, what leadership means, fear, and the joys of being a bard for a bunch of witches.

Please check out each of them on their respective websites below:

SJ Tucker

Find SJ Tucker here.

Ginger Doss

Find Ginger Doss here.

Rene Collins

Find Rene Collins here.

Cheshire Moon

Find Cheshire Moon here.

If you like this show and want to support it, there are a number of ways to help. Consider liking and sharing it on social media. You can also rate the show 5-stars on Apple Podcasts and leave a review.

Help keep the show free and producing on a regular basis by chipping in whatever you can. You can buy me a Ko-fi (a one time donation of your choosing) https://ko-fi.com/incitingariot or join my Patreon on a monthly basis. Patrons receive additional audio and video content as well as archived episodes, a private Discord server, and monthly chats with special guests! Sign up at Patreon.com/IncitingProjects.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 167: Inciting Via Hedera's Riot

2021-04-20T09:20:00.005-05:00

Episode 167 is an interview with folklorist, witch, and author Via Hedera. We had a far-reaching discussion about the hidden history of superstition, the double-edged blade of using genetics as a basis for cultural exploration, the increasing visibility of BIPOC and queer witches, and the absolute grossest spell she knows. Her new book Folkloric American Witchcraft and the Multicultural Experience is out now from Moon Books.

Find more of Via on her website here.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

Social Media & Podcast Subscription links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 166: Inciting A New World Witchery Riot

2021-04-06T06:00:00.001-05:00

Episode 166 is an interview with longtime friend of the show Dr. Cory Hutcheson, co-host of New World Witchery and author of a new book of the same name. We have a far-reaching discussion about the academic and personal pursuit of folklore, why the Devil keeps coming up in his book, and how to find magic in your own backyard.

Find more about Dr. Cory Hutcheson here and follow New World Witchery online here.

Fun Fact: Patreon supporters got about 37 minutes of additional content for this episode where we discussed how social media has transformed Pagan discussion and how each of us thinks we'd have fared in today's environment if we were just starting out.

Pre-order my book The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft here.

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@incitingariot.com

All other links: https://linktr.ee/IncitingARiot

Episode 165: Inciting A Disasterology Riot

2021-03-23T08:38:00.003-05:00

Episode 165 is an interview with Dr. Sam Montano, expert in emergency management and author of Disaster-ology. We have a broad ranging discussion about climate change, how to talk about misinformation with loved ones, and how she would manage the fallout from WandaVision.

You can find more of Dr. Montano at Disaster-ology.com.

Help keep the show free and producing on a regular basis by chipping in whatever you can. You can buy me a Ko-fi (a one time donation of your choosing) https://ko-fi.com/incitingariot or join my Patreon on a monthly basis. Patrons receive additional audio and video content as well as archived episodes, a Discord serve, and monthly chats! Sign up at Patreon.com/IncitingProjects.

Pre-order my book, The Dabbler’s Guide to Witchcraft, here!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Blog: IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@IncitingARiot.com

@IncitingARiot on Twitter / Instagram

Facebook.com/IncitingARiotPodcast

Subscribe/Rate/Comment on iTunes: http://bit.ly/iTunesRiot

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4qTYYhCLMdFc4PhQmSL1Yh

Episode 164: Inciting Chaweon Koo's Riot

2021-03-09T12:59:00.000-06:00

Episode 164 is an interview with magical makeup artist, occult researcher, and atheist witch Chaweon Koo. The conversation is an impactful deep dive on the nature of leadership, how to be an ally, skeptical spiritual seeking, and conspiracy theories.

Find more of Chaweon on social media @HiChaweon or on her YouTube channel.

Patreon supporters heard this show first (and got over 20 minutes of additional content)! Consider giving a small donation to Patreon.com/IncitingProjects! You’ll get cool rewards like video and audio content with bonus pre-show chat from Inciting A Riot, as well as bonus extras not published anywhere else (like archived episodes!)! Patrons are charged on a per-creation basis, so you only pay for the content you want!

Love and Lyte,

Fire Lyte

Blog: IncitingARiot.com

FireLyte@IncitingARiot.com

@IncitingARiot on Twitter / Instagram

Facebook.com/IncitingARiotPodcast

Subscribe/Rate/Comment on iTunes: http://bit.ly/iTunesRiot

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4qTYYhCLMdFc4PhQmSL1Yh