tommy jonq

October 13, 2010

Live Tweeting From the Jonathan Franzen Reading

Christ Church Cathedral, Downtown Saint Louis, MO.

The Text Within—And Without—The Text

Jonathan Franzen, the only writer to stand up to Oprah Winfrey for five minutes, blew into Saint Louis to read from, autograph, and sell—in coöperation [please address all precious-typography complaints to The New Yorker. You’ve heard of The New Yorker. They wish they’d thought of Oprah’s Book Club first.] with Left Bank Books—his latest novel, The Next Novel From Jonathan Franzen, As Seen, Eventually, And After A Long Litany Of “Apologies,” Backtrackings, And Knuckle Rappings, On “Oprah,” not to mention the other books he’s written, hosted by The Saint Louis Public Library, which is closed for remodeling, and so is hosting the reading at the Christ Church Non-Denominational Cathedral, which seats 500 souls, unless a best-selling author blows into town, in which case it seats 550, plus 50 to 100 SRO standers.

In other words, 600-plus book gooks are going to listen to the King of Book Gooks read from his book, while another book gook writes about said reading, live, on, but not limited to, Twitter and/or Facebook. Will said Twits successfully convey the feeling, the experience, of attending said reading by said book gooks and their King?

The Anticipation Builds.

Me and 600+ book gooks waiting at Christ Church Cathedral in downtown Saint Louis, Missouri, for Jonathan Franzen to appear. You know, cuz the library was too dinky.

Will Franzen show on time? Or will he build suspense, Hitler-like? Are his books for sale in the foyer? Are you crazy? Is there any moral conflict involved in selling secular novels in a church? Didn’t someone write a Book about that? Did I mention that the library was too dinky for this brouhaha?

Sorry, no pictures or video while Franzen is on the pulpit. But, if Jesus appears, we can take pictures.

Did Casey McKenzie serve refreshments at her Left Bank Books book signing? Yes. Does Franzen, who makes way more money than Casey McKenzie, not to mention his publisher, serve refreshments at his book signing? What do you think?

According to his Wikipedia entry, edited by Franzen’s publicity machine, Franzen was born in Chicago and went to Swarthmore College. According to the publicist from Left Bank Books, he’s from Saint Louis and went to Webster University. Who you gonna believe?

Franzen seems sober. Nervous, but sober. And he’s already watching the clock.

600+ book gooks applauding. Politely. Not your father’s Who concert.

600+ book gooks sitting on their brains sure do suck up a lot of oxygen.

The Reading Begins.

Are there references to pot and sex and white folks angst and 9/11 and the word “okay” and white men telling lies on the first page? What do you think?

He’s already skipping paragraphs. This is why you should read your book out loud before you send it off to the printers.

The Hero’s (Johnny) sex problems with his girlfriend (Connie) are more difficult to deal with than the “war” in Afghanistan. I’m the only one of 600+ book gooks who laugh.

Oh, Johnny masturbates. Oh, Connie knows all about Johnny’s mommy problems. (Her name’s Carol.) This is white folks angst you can hang your National Book Award on.

Pot, pot, pot. Internet infidelity. Pot. Plots plagiarized from The Graduate. Pot. White folks titter.

Are there jokes about the Bush twins? Yes. Do the white folks titter? Yes.

Is the book, apparently, or at least aurally, “good?” Pretty good, yeah.

Can The Author keep it mercifully short? Yes.

Q&A.

“How does he do it?” He takes 10 years to write one book. And he stutters. And he has no social life.

Oh. The hero’s name is Joey. So much for live blogging.

A question about e-book self-publishing. And the answer is…a weaseling. But a surprisingly honest weaseling. And a kiss on his editor’s patoosis.

(I won’t rain on The Author’s coronation by piping up and asking him if he’s surprised by my own self-publishing success. This time.)

He’s getting bombarded by questions from authors instead of writers. And now he’s whining just a tad about competing with, well, authors like us. You know, on the Internet.

Are we looking at the last walking dinosaur?

“How does he write from a female perspective?” One, and only one, book gook laughs. Again. But no one asks him to leave. There’s not enough oxygen.

If I get 100 book gooks to show up in my “home” town to hear me read Gemini Tiger, will I be 1/6 as successful as Jonathan Franzen?

Lack of oxygen taking its toll. I could swear he’s talking about Chronicles of Narnia.

He’s been stumped. By a softball question. From a fan.

Last Question.

I only see one black person here. Hmmm.

Elvis has left the building. Franzen’s still here signing books. But Elvis is literary history.

There is also a Kindle 2 equipped for GSM wireless networks available at $279.

This of course is only good news for Indie published writers. Amazon charges nothing for indie authors to publish their books for the Kindle and does not require an exclusive deal.

Read the full story at CNET here:

http://news.cnet.com/8301-1023_3-10369321-93.html

In the mean time, Smashwords.com’s highly-anticipated distribution deal with BarnesandNoble.com has yet, as of this morning, to go live on BarnesandNoble.com. I have yet to see my books or my friends’ books appear in search results on the B&N site. When that happens (it was supposed to happen October 1) I will post a more thorough review of my Smashwords experience.