Living in a cave can get lonely…

A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away.

His wife glares at him and says, “Who the hell was that?”

“Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.”

“Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce.”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don’t get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus’s in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

“Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier,” she replies.

Link

The FoxxyNews piece in turn pointed to the Bleacher Report post that included pics of all 40 athletes. Of course we don’t really think of female athletes as hot or not. That is so shallow. After all these are accomplished athletes who’d like to be recognized for more than just their looks. So instead we like to rank them on how much we’d like to do them. Of course there really wasn’t a single one on the list who we wouldn’t want to take to bed–Tiger style that is. But tough choices have to be made so below you will find our most favorites of the Bleacher’s Top 40:

1. Not everyone would put Natalie Coughlin on their short list. But this gal has a smokin’ hot body that she used to win six gold medals. One wonders what else that body is capable of doing. Damn!

2. If all Serbians look like Ana Ivanovic then someone needs to tell me why we were bombing that shitty little country instead of raiding it Viking style. Damn. I hope they don’t hold a grudge:

3. No list of doable athletes would be complete without Allison Stokke, the high school pole vaulter who made near pedophilia almost socially acceptable:

Please note that we are purposely omitting the two most obvious (Maria Sharapova and Anna Kournikova) because they get automatic bids on to the list. Let’s face it, anyone missing out on their hottness is either gay or insane.

h/t: Jeremy Gilby

Source

The real answer is that he was never really in it. Down 8 to 1 to Jerry Brown in fundraising and 20 points behind in the polls, Newsom never had a chance. Citing family obligations in his decision to pull out, the only role these had in his decision to bail was that it was unlikely that even his family would vote for him. Newsom’s campaign strategy blessfully showed the limits of the impact of “campaigning 2.0″ on elections not to mention the ridiculous narrowness of his base (gays, progressives, and greens) beyond San Francisco’s city limits. Newsom’s team actually thought that by using Facebook, Twitter, and blogs that he’d be able to raise 50% more than the leading Democratic candidate did in the last election.

But the real problem was that there was nothing there for non-moonbat voters to sink their teeth into. He never did anything to demonstrate fitness for governor nor counter his well-deserved reputation for self-absorption.

The larger issue, which plays into some of the disillusionment of his staff, is that Newsom doesn’t have conversations – he lectures. The same guy who can speak smoothly at a town hall meeting never seems to shut down the informational fire hose and relate on a human level.

It might be fun for the lefties to believe that their viewpoints are the mainstream but if a politician doesn’t take the time to understand what the majority of voters really want then they are going to fail–numerous Twitter followers notwithstanding.

Why is there such surprise about Kanye’s boorish behavior at the MTV Awards? It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. He did this an at earlier MTV Europe Music Awards:

Upset that he didn’t win the best video at the MTV Europe Music Awards, rapper (and Katrina relief expert) Kanye West crashed the stage and cussed through a mindless tirade stating he deserved the award for his video “Touch the Sky”:

“F*ck dis! (My video) cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and sh*t! If I don’t win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (J&S), but hell man.”

He further said that “If I don’t win, the award show loses credibility.”

He also has his own entry in Dickipedia that has several other outbursts at award shows charging racism whenever he didn’t win.

File this under asshole.

Damn!

If only we could party like it was 1999, we’d reduce per-person spending almost 20%. And 1999 wasn’t so bad, was it?

British bride-to-be Haylie Hocking, 27, was set for her dream wedding until…

a friend spotted her other half, personal trainer Jason Brake, 30, in a porn movie.

The friend is said to have been looking for a male stripper online for Miss Hocking’s hen night when she spotted a movie clip with Mr Brake in it.

The couple met in 2008 at the garage where she worked and Miss Hocking described him as romantic and a “passionate lover”.

He moved into her flat after dating for six months and later proposed, buying her a diamond engagement ring.

Mr Brake, who had often gone away for weekends saying he was holding training sessions with clients, admitted he had been making a living from porn but said it was “only acting” and that he would have given up his career if she’d asked.

Brake noted that he “would be honest with women in future relationships.”

Source: ITN/Yahoo

h/t: Yadog

Oh well just one more thing I don’t understand about the modern world.

(I am thinking about signing up for the course. First – it’s an excuse to look at boobs, Second – how many guys can put Lactation Education Trainer on their business card, Third – I want to watch UCLA try and tell me I can’t.)

and his mom knew and approved of the relationship because she thought the teacher was a good influence.

God must really like this kid.

Maria Guzman Hernandez, 32, was a sixth-grade teacher at Our Lady of Charity in Hialeah. She was charged with sexual battery on a teenager just hours after she and the boy returned from a trip to Disney World over the weekend.

…

Hernandez is estranged from her husband and has two children of her own who attend the religious school. Police say they were surprised to learn that the boy’s mother knew of his sexual relationship with the teacher and approved of it.

source

I suppose next week he will win the lottery and his pecker will grow 10 inches. That would fit the pattern of his life right now.

That said I really hated this movie. I had suspected I would since seeing the trailers, but I really did try and give it a fair chance.

Being fair it had some good parts. The opening scene was awesome, and the effects were excellent. Not just the effects I thought the visual design was superb too.

The two things that just grated on me though were:

a. The story – It was just a retard story. Yes it gave the backdrop for the series reboot but there were other ways to accomplish that. It was just an excuse to have Kirk running around acting impulsive and not very Kirk like.

b. The characters. The actors didn’t fit the characters they were playing. Not only that but there was no chemistry between them. It was painful to watch them try and recreate the banter from the original series. especially McCoy’s character. I was actually gritting my teeth as the actor delivered the lines. The one exception – Simon Pegg as Scotty. He was great. No James Doohan of course but he fit the role well.

Anyway that’s my take on it.

One last thing the girl who plays the green alien chick also plays Scarlett in the upcoming GI Joe movie. She is hot even painted green.

h/t: Nashville Bill
Source: Twitpic

Many things to like about this but my favorite is “Dad, what the F**K is going on?”.

Update: If this guy (Casy Nunez) is still alive and not arrested perhaps he’ll be able to repost his video somewhere. Since you can’t see it, I’ll describe what happened. Apparently some guy lent the password for his work website (a New Orleans tour site called Crescent City Tours) to a guy named “Jason” who was doing some light HTML work for him (if you look at the site it looks like a bad GeoCities site. Somehow Jason had access to a porno that our hero had (“banging some chick” as he said). Jason posted the porno on the public tour site and hilarity ensued.) Our friend gets calls, emails and a visit from his boss. He’s then sent home where he responds to Jason in a 6 or so minute video outburst. It’s pretty friggin’ funny and one of those things where you go glad it’s happening to someone else (much like the CiscoFatty story).