The things I normally blog about just aren’t working for me! Politics is making me bat-shit crazy right now, and it’s one of my favourite things to watch on the telly and read about on the web. But holy frijoles, people…. when did whack-job become the norm? Okay, okay… I won’t go on and on, but you know the expression “there are good people on both sides of the argument”? Well, there’s stupid people on both sides of the argument too. How do these people stay employed or in office? Don’t answer that.. I can feel my blood pressure going up just asking the question!

Anyway, you see now why I haven’t been blogging… everything makes me want to pull my hair out these days. So here’s a happy story. Read the whole story on the NPR website: A Victim Treats His Mugger Right

“He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, ‘Here you go,’” Diaz says.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, “Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you’re going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm.”

Meanwhile, I’ve been working on creating a little elf pattern for the past week, and so I had to come post now that he’s finished. He’s a small little thing. The grapes are life-sized, but that’s part of his charm for me! I thought about making him bigger to improve some of the details, but I confess I think having him be small makes him more charming!

So here he is! I’m afraid the picture doesn’t really do him justice. Maybe it’s the lighting! I haven’t really found a way to take great pictures of my knitting.

I do find it incredible that we in the West look at cultures that have been studying medicine for five thousand years as weirdo quacks, and somehow have the utmost faith in our own system in which doctors have become shills for the pharmaceutical industry and all too often they scratch their heads with dismay when something doesn’t fit into their round-peg world, even when it means saying oh, so sincerely, “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing we can do.”

All of that mini-rant was to say that I was feeling sassy enough yesterday to go to a store. That’s right! I left the house and walked around a shop. (Wonders have not yet ceased, it seems.)

Of course my shop of choice sold various bits and bobs for knitting. Those of you who know me will know that I run hot and cold, and when I dig into something of interest, it consumes my every thought. And if adorable mouses and elves are the result, then all the better. (Yes, I’ve started designing whimsical elves to knit!)

Anyway, so when I got my goodies home, I noticed on the packaging for needles, there was a sticker (as you can see in the thumbnail above.) It says, “Are you old enough?” with a line through the number 25. Yes, that means what you think it means. You cannot buy knitting needles in this country if you are under 25.

What. The. Fuck.

Okay, I know knife crime is a big concern, especially for young people. Guns are illegal in Scotland, so instead people tend to fillet one another. But knitting needles? Really?

I, for one, would love to see what would happen to the street cred of a hoodie who pulled out some 4mm double-pointed needles in a rammy. I suppose this is a natural add-on to those arguments which are known as “handbags at 20 paces”. (One of my favourite local expressions, by the way.)

So, in this country you can get married at 16, drive at 17, drink alchohol at 18, but you have to be 25 to knit.

Don’t mess with me! I have bamboo clackers and I know how to use them! Purl your way out of that!

So, I’ve completed what I think of as a rough draft. Some things I’m pleased with, some not, so I need to put her away for a week and then come at her with fresh eyes and see what I can adjust to improve the things I’m not satisfied with.

But I thought I would share where I am so far Feel free to tell me what you think about her, and give any suggestions you like! She’s still a work-in-progess and I know I’m going to have to re-make her at least one more time, possibly more!

Here she is!

And some of the back detail:

Ta-da!

I’m about 75% happy with her.. so I figure that’s a good start!

A very short entry today with the funniest typo I’ve seen in a long time. (From the Knitting Daily email newsletter.)

Are you inspired by the stitches and patterns of Ireland, Scotland, and Whales? Pick up a copy of Traditional Lace Shawls and learn how to create the beautiful and timeless shawls of each region. Author Martha Waterman specializes in this handicraft ancestry and shares the history, techniques, materials, and designs you need for creating gorgeous and enduring shawls. You’ll also get a chance to try your hand at eight beautiful projects!

How could you not find that inspirational?

However, my spirits have been buoyed so much by the silliness of knitting clowns and sheep, that I really can’t help myself.

Deniz asked me yesterday how I did these so fast, but it’s really just because they’re very small. I can knit them up in a few hours while I’m watching Forensic Detectives and Crime Story, and then assemble them during Steven Segal: Law Man. I did take the time to wash and block the little ringmaster pieces, but I’m honestly not sure if it made that big a difference in the final product! Well, the blocking did. I think the washing just made it wet, rather than fluffing up my stitches the way I was hoping it would.

So, here he is!

Pattern from alandart.co.uk Alan is known as a “celebrity knit designer”, which sorta cracks me up. I can’t really imagine the paparazzi following a knitter around to see who they’re hooking up with or to catch them with their underpants showing as they step out of a limo.

Oh, and if you’re a yarn-head like me, you can find me on Ravelry here. But be warned… it’s easy to get sucked into the site and losing several hours just browsing through the patterns and other people’s FOs!

I decided that I wanted to have a go at making a Highland Cow. For those who have never been here, they look something like this:

For my effort, I modified Barbara Prime’s Cowboy pattern, added the shaggy hair and made long horns from a twisted iCord. (Oh, and if you ever make her patterns, I would recommend changing the K1 M1 to KFB, and ignore her method for attaching limbs and go for a mattress stitch instead.)

So here’s my little heilan coo:

My sweetheart said he looked more like “Animal” than the real thing!

Either way, seriously, could you frown and make one of these at the same time? I doubt it!

There is a flip side, however, and that is today’s Quick Tip.

Quick Tip #8: Having a friend that is an asshole is like having a mean dog. Eventually, they will turn on you.

To see a perfect example of this, at least where wildlife is concerned, consider the man in Ontario who was recently mauled to death by his 300 kg* pet tiger. (*660 pounds to the Americans or 47 stones-2 for the Brits.)

There have been stories like this probably for as long as people have been keeping pets. Wild animals are wild, and you can’t domesticate something that doesn’t want to be domesticated.

I think, however, this also extends to people. If, when thinking about a friend, you hear a little voice that says, “You know… he’s a real prick.” ..listen to it.

Scorpions sting you and bears will maul you and tigers will eat your face, and yes, assholes will turn on you. It’s just what they do.

Does this mean we should be less accepting of our friends? Probably not. I like to think more about the good in the world than the bad. But it’s worth remembering that although people can change, they rarely do. Leopards and spots.

I’ve been experimenting with various needle sizes, types of yarn and ways of assembling the Barbara Prime knit sheep pattern and I’ve been having fun with these. I plan to make others of her patterns, and can start now that I’ve received my massive yarn shipment I’ve been waiting for. Included in said shipment was stuffing, so I no longer have a mass of unstuffed sheep body parts on my living room table.

I’ve also made some changes to the original pattern, including a version I’ve started using dpn and also changing her K1 M1 notations to KFB, to get rid of the holes caused by the M1 method. (See small beige sheep below to see what I mean about the holes.) It looks much nicer! My favourite has to be the one made with the Wendy Origins yarn (the curly stuff). It’s a little tough to keep track and count the yarn on the needles, but on the upside, if you do make a mistake, it’s hard to see that too.

I am making great progress in my knitting techniques, and want to extend a huge thank you to those knitters out there that put such helpful tutorials on the web! I have such a huge resource available to me via the internet that my mom sure never had when she was starting out. One such resource is the website Ravelry.com It’s basically a facebook for knitters. Wow. Particularly helpful was a tutorial for the mattress stitch for toys.

Here’s the herd:

But while I’ve been surfing for knitting tutorials, I’ve come across the inexplicable. Yes, someone created a knitted womb. A KNITTED WOMB??? Yes.

Here’s the description of the item:

Human anatomy is pretty amazing, but not always pretty. My interest in anatomy coupled with the Blythe dolls phenomenon somehow combined in my imagination to produce a cute, cuddly uterus doll.

Of all the descriptions I’ve ever considered for uteri, the word cuddly just never came to mind.

I once saw a pattern for a brain, but even that didn’t see to compare with this one.

Seriously. WTF do you even do with that? I have my sheep next to a basket of yarn balls and they make some semblance of sense. But a uterus?

Honestly I do try not to judge other people too harshly, but this? Colour me boggled.

So, I practiced knitting for a while, trying to learn to get my stitches just perfect. My sweetheart was looking at my little practice swatches in a slightly puzzled way, as though completely unable to understand the difference between each one while I groaned, “But the rows are so uneven!”

I’ve been making quite a few of these sheep lately, including one black sheep and I’ve been experimenting with different needle sizes and techniques (I’m in love with the Norwegian Purl!)  However, I’m waiting for a delivery from an online craft store before I’ll have any stuffing for them! My living room table is a macabre display of mismatched body parts as though a serial killer had taken them as trophies and preserved them in a somewhat shrivelled state. (You can tell I’ve been reading crime thrillers, can’t you?)

My little lamb chop from the previous post got a new sweater in the deal!