indigenous geek

Ridin' The Rails

2012-06-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

First link of the California Highspeed Rail is linked up.

Okay this is really a Google Maps satellite image of tracks next to the Anheuser-Busch brewery in LA. The software didn't stich the individual images together too well. Over near the right side you can see another one but not quite soo bad.

What's Wrong Here?

2012-05-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

A 6-year-old boy has been suspended from his suburban Denver school for three days for sexual harassment after quoting a line from a song.
School officials say the first-grader was sent home from Sable Elementary School after telling a girl "I'm sexy and I know it," a line from a popular song.
The Aurora school issued a statement saying it couldn't discuss the case, but referred to a school board policy that defines sexual harassment as any unwelcome sexual advance. There is no age limit.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2012/05/04/national/a100712D04.DTL&tsp=1

Really. I know what's wrong here. A lot of people won't like what I have to say. To put it simply, a lot of humorless uptight pansy asses are running the schools. Mostly women. If you'd get that stick out of your ass you just might be able to run a school and educate some kids on real subjects.

You know, one that looks like this...

Redneck XDressing

2012-04-24T21:09:00.002-07:00

I was looking around Farcebook today and there was a link to a video that someone made using pics from People of Walmart and some music.

Now we've all seen POW before but there is something that really leaves me a little baffled each time I look at it.

Okay, so you like to wear women's thong underwear. (and share that fact with others)...

or maybe just your underwear.

so okay, I guess it's a speedo with a matching hat. When I was younger I often went to the nude beach but it never occurred to me to do a beer run without putting shorts on.

Maybe a little more overt. Pink with ladies running shoes.
so this is like the same guy two different times?

frilly little socks and a matching top. at least he's in sporting goods and not... well never mind.

How about some heels

some long legs

But that's just starting

damn that last one's scary. Maybe some WNBA material in there.

Now here's your old high school geography teacher Mr Bates. The one that never married and lived with Mom. After she died he retired and started wearing her clothes. Well he wore them before but she never knew.

Grandma?

This one could have dated Eddie Murphy..

Nice hooker gear

I just feel so free in a dress

Then this one time at band camp...

I think the one in jeans is a girl.

Really!

And this guy. So like he colors his hair so he doesn't look old.

And the biggest freaks of all...

The New & Improved Blogger

2012-04-24T19:49:00.001-07:00

What the motherf*$king Blogger's new interface lost my post when I tried 'preview'. Murphy's Law, it was a long one. There was no 'draft' auto saved either. Thanks Blogger.

WTF

2012-04-18T13:55:00.003-07:00

Woo Hoo! a twofer for today.

The Austrian Village of Fucking decides at last to change its name. The cost of sign replacement was too much.

The 104 residents of the village will cast their votes later this week on whether to alter the name.

“People are now willing to discuss changes to the spelling of the name,” Franz Meindl, the village’s mayor, said in a television interview. “But first all Fuckingers have to agree on whether want to change it or not.” For centuries the tiny village in northern Austria lived life in happy obscurity, but life changed when US troops, stationed in the area at the end of the Second World War, discovered it, and since then the village’s name has been a constant source of amusement for tourists and irritation for locals.

At least 13 £250 road signs bearing the village’s name have been stolen, and the sight of semi-naked women posing for photographs beside signs has become a common sight. One local business woman, exasperated with people stealing her sign has taken to adding another “g” in the hope it will deter thieves.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/9209343/Austrian-village-F-ing-to-vote-on-name-change.html

No Wonder He Thought He Was Good

2012-04-18T13:38:00.002-07:00

Well we're all aware Thomas Kincaid died a couple of weeks ago.. This was in last Friday's SFGate and sort of explains things.

A family member says painter Thomas Kinkade battled alcoholism over the past several years and had a relapse just before his death at his home in Santa Clara County.

Kinkade's brother, Patrick, tells the San Jose Mercury News (http://bit.ly/IxRfr0) decades of attacks on Kinkade's work and a split with his wife two years ago had taken a toll on the famous "Painter of Light."

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2012/04/13/state/n062646D93.DTL&tsp=1

Personally I could see where he had some talent but was a one trick pony. Always the same look and theme. I never cared for over sweetened view or his overt christian bs. I really knew he was a crook when I saw the 60 Minutes story on him. Here he had cheap prints of his works made, touched up with paint by little more than assembly line workers and he would scribble his name on them and send them out to his pyramid scheme 'galleries' to be sold at ridiculous prices as 'fine art'. Some christian. No wonder he drank (not that I'm against alcohol).

I posted some of the somethingawful.com photoshop phriday submissions for TK. Here are some of my favs.

Don't Like That Burger - Call 911

2012-04-06T09:19:00.002-07:00

What a moron. Got just what she deserved.

In the recording, Nichols tells the dispatcher, "I had ordered some food from Hardeehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif's over here and the food is no good, and the girl told me when I called her back that I could bring it back and get my money on it. Now she's telling me she can't do anything until tomorrow."

Roane County deputies responding to the call arrested Nichols on "abuse of 911" charges and booked her into the Roane County Jail, according to WRCBtv in Chattanooga, Tenn.

And thus we conclude with a lesson that (apparently) bears repeating again and again: 911 is for emergencies.

http://www.latimes.com/news/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-woman-calls-911-to-report-nasty-burger-gets-arrested-20120405,0,6310669.story

Now how can a burger like this be bad?

Gas And More

2012-03-14T17:06:00.003-07:00

Yeah it's a Mad cover from Sept 2008 but it's just as true today.

And those gas prices let's not forget that ecotard Steven Chu that's supposed to be the secretary of energy.

He doesn't own a car. HA HA HA. We're all laughing with you Stevo.

Hot For Teacher

2012-03-07T13:30:00.002-08:00

Some where in the quiet little town of Oxnard...

An Oxnard middle school teacher was put on administrative leave after she was accused of appearing in at least one pornographic video, district officials said.

District officials have not released the teacher's name and she has not been terminated, KTLA reported.

They placed the teacher on leave on Monday while the allegations are being investigated, Oxnard School District Supt. Jeff Chancer told KTLA Tuesday.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
The investigation began Friday when students approached administrators at Richard B. Haydock Intermediate School and told them they had seen a female teacher in a pornographic video.

Administrators tried to verify the students' claims that one of the teachers was a porn star, but couldn't find any evidence that the rumors were true, the Ventura County Star reported. They sent an email to staff members saying the rumors were unfounded.

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2012/03/oxnard-teacher-accused-of-being-porn-star-put-on-leave.html

Stupid Is As Stupid Does - Smoker Edition

2012-02-29T18:47:00.003-08:00

Did you catch this little gem...

Police say a North Carolina man is dead after he accidentally drank from a jar of gasoline and then smoked a cigarette.

Havelock police received a 911 call about 9:55 p.m. Monday after 43-year-old Gary Allen Banning set himself on fire. Banning was transported to UNC Burn Center in http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifChapel Hill, where he died early Tuesday morning.

City spokeswoman Diane Miller said investigators believe Banning was at a friend's apartment when he apparently mistook a jar of gasoline sitting by the kitchen sink for a beverage. After taking a gulp, he spit the gas out and got some on his clothes.
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
Sometime later, investigators say Banning went outside to smoke a cigarette and burst into flame.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2012/02/28/national/a152125S36.DTL&tsp=1

BTW the picture is from this story

http://blogs.seattleweekly.com/dailyweekly/2011/02/portland_geniuses_light_house.php

Hello Hello

2012-02-27T20:26:00.002-08:00

Saw this on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. Fired up GIMP and fixed it...

Catfisting

2012-02-16T13:21:00.000-08:00

I was just channel surfing and came across one of the shows where they fish for catfish using just their hands. I've seen this before of course but I really started to wonder why this is entertainment. On The History Channel no less. They've sure gone downhill. The alien shows were awful unscientific speculation. Things like Swamp People might at least be called social studies. Pawn Stars has some historical learning value. But what the hell is bullshit?!!!

I understand that sometimes there can be alligators down in those holes. Here's hoping.

I need some totally inane show to take my mind off this. Did I just pass an old rerun of Bewitch?

Santa Clara 49ers

2012-02-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

Yep, they're moving south. You know, the ones that almost made it to the Super Bowl. All it took was $200M from the NFL and $850M from the taxpayers of Santa Clara.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2012/02/15/BA7E1N7LDJ.DTL

Guess money is tight all over.

I'm Back And I'm Stayin'

2012-02-14T10:54:00.000-08:00

Fixed and ready to ride.

I'm promising myself three posts a week at least.

I Should Be Poor

2011-07-26T17:46:00.001-07:00

This explains so much...

http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
http://www.globalpost.com/dispatches/globalpost-blogs/macro/penis-size-economic-growth

Seems IQ is inverse too.

Jesus At Walmart

2011-07-26T17:38:00.000-07:00

Yes it's true. Jesus on a Walmart receipt. Of course the people who spotted him are typical religious nutters.

Jacob Simmons and Gentry Lee Sutherland, the engaged couple who experienced the alleged phenomenon, developed photographs in Walmart and placed the receipt from the service on Sutherland’s kitchen table.

A few days later, Sutherland, a 21-year-old student at North Greenville University, and her fiancee attended their regularly scheduled Wednesday night Bible study session. The message that night was about a close relationship with God.

Once the couple returned to Sutherland’s residence to watch a movie, she noticed a startled expression on Simmons' face.

"Right before we were about to start I noticed Jacob standing beside the counter. I said, 'What's wrong with you,'" Sutherland recalled. “He said, 'Look at this receipt.' I just looked at it and it looked kind of brown, and he said, 'No, Look at it.' So I took a second look and then I saw the face. The message we had just heard at church an hour before went through my mind."

The couple agreed that the shape of an ink-blotted bushy beard, facial structure and two eyes appeared to take the form of a divine face.

http://www.christianpost.com/news/jesus-christ-image-develops-from-walmart-receipt-52665/

Someone else did a much better job of recognition however...

yes Marty Feldman.

It's Zombie Weekend

2011-04-22T11:14:00.000-07:00

Yes it is.

http://nogodsallowed.wordpress.com/2011/04/21/the-most-overlooked-part-of-the-easter-narrative/

Even more amazing. He's a tall, blond haired, blue eyed, middle eastern jew.

It's Earth Day

2011-04-22T07:35:00.001-07:00

Totally Geek

2011-04-01T09:00:00.000-07:00

Yes I think this is funny. Yes I'm a geek.

MMMMMMmmmmmm... brats

Here it is

A Thought For Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T13:16:00.000-08:00

Lots of fun stuff
http://lolgod.blogspot.com

Attack Of The Killer Hummingbirds

2011-03-06T13:43:00.000-08:00

I was outside this morning when I got buzzed - by hummingbirds. No it doesn't sound like humming. It's much more ominous. I have one of these feeders...

Why does it have four outlets? I've only seen more than one bird just once. They are extremely territorial about their food source. Some of them spend more time chasing others off than feeding. If you are 10-20 feet away and they're fighting over food be prepared to be buzzed. It can come damn close and it comes up fast.

So I probably know the answer to this but just let me ask anyway. If a hummingbird hits you in the head, will it stick like a dart?

That's what I thought.

Does This Taste Funny?

2011-02-25T11:42:00.000-08:00

Okay this might be one of the weirder ones I've ever posted

A California man faces up to a year inside after being found guilty of two counts of misdemeanor battery for ejaculating into a colleague's water bottle.

Michael Kevin Lallana faces additional aggro after the jury backed a "sentencing enhancement allegation" that he committed said misdemeanours for "sexual gratification".

Lallana, 32, and the victim, ID'd as Tiffany G, worked together at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network, NBC reports.

The victim testified that one Monday last year she took a swig from her waterbottle, having it left it at the office over the weekend. She apparently noticed a foul taste reminiscent of semen and disposed of it.

After the pair were moved to a different office she had a similar taste experience, and this time took the bottle for testing. Tests revealed the presence of semen, the firm opened an investigation and the police became involved.

Lallana admitted he'd added his fluids to the water, because "her lips had touched it" adding, "for me it's a release. I think about my wife." At the same time, he admitted, he found Tiffany attractive.

Lallana's attorney is pondering an appeal on the basis no crime was committed: "He committed an outrageous, egregious act, but to have battery, you have to have an application of force."

Tiffany apparently burst into tears after a verdict, prompting a sherriff's deputy to bring her tissues.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/02/25/water_bottle/

So she was able to recognize the taste? Mmmmmm... Okay.

Poopy Time

2011-01-31T18:12:00.000-08:00

And a South Park Classic

Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo
Tags: SOUTH
PARK more...

Tattoo You

2011-01-16T17:36:00.000-08:00

I've featured tattoos before. Also Failblog. Well here is one of Failblog's associated sites for really really bad tats. I love the misspelled ones but as far as really dumb or really ugly go this is a winner....

http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/2010/10/28/funny-tattoos-zombie-face/

http://ugliesttattoos.failblog.org/

Fun Fun Fun

Work Work Work

2011-01-07T14:45:00.000-08:00

This sooooooo defines my work week...

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/good_code.png