There are things we do that we know sap our energy, waste time, and/or make us unhappy.  (Anyone else guilty of checking email or Facebook multiple times a day?)

And there are things we DON’T do that we know would make us feel happier, more productive, and energized. (Regular exercise or meditation, anyone?)

We have lots of excuses…. But enough already! Life is short.

Here’s a simple way to close the gap right now:

6 Simple Steps to your own ‘#1 Thing’ to be More Productive and Joyful

1. Brainstorm:  what’s the 1 thing you could STOP doing that would really make your life work better? (You already know, or have some some pretty good ideas…)

Examples:

• Checking email or FB multiple times a day;
• drinking a lot of soda;
• staying on the computer right up until bedtime;
• piling all the mail on the table ‘to go through later’
  

2. How might you express this as a practice? A practice is something you do regularly — daily or weekly etc. — because it makes your life work better. (You’re not committing to anything yet, jes’ thinkin’…)

Examples:

• Check email & FB just 3 times/day;
• drink bubbly water instead of soda;
• get off computer at least an hour before bed;
• toss all  junk mail into recycling as it arrives

3. How can you make this practice very specific? Add times, places, dates — so it’s clear exactly what happens when.  (Otherwise, it’s unlikely to happen at all.)

Examples:

• check email/FB for first time at 11 AM, then 3 PM & 8 PM;
• give away soda supply at work tomorrow and only buy bubbly water from now on;
• get off the computer by 10:30 PM each night;
• as bring mail in each day, sort into recycling/ bills/ misc., & toss junk into recycling bin
  

4. What structures or support will you need to make this happen?

Examples:

• sticky note on my computer with my ‘check email’ times;
• tell folks at work what I’m doing, and put all the sodas in my car tonight to take to work;
  
• set alarms on my computer or phone to get off by 10:30;
• tell my partner what I’m doing;
• put recycling bin under the table where I’ll see it;
• put sign up;
• make a daily checklist to chart my progress
  

5. What is your “noble intent” for this practice? (This is the big picture of why you’re doing it, what inspires you)

Examples:

• take control of my inbox and what I give my attention to;
• take control of my health and be a good example to my grandkids;
• create special ‘me time’ or ‘us time’ each night before bed;
• bring order and clarity to our household;
• turn my bedroom into sacred space

6. Will you commit to do this practice now? If yes, put in the structures you came up with so it happens!  If no: how can you make it smaller, faster, easier so you’re willing to take it on?  Even a little step in the right direction will free you up.

You can also follow the same steps to START a new practice that would make your life work better.

examples:

• Journal for 30 minutes on Tuesday evenings and Sunday mornings;
• start my day 5x/week with 45 minutes of stretching & exercise;
• meditate for 20 minutes each morning;
• do bills & paperwork every Monday afternoon at 4 while I listen to great music.
• do 1 thing I’ve been putting off each Thursday morning before I do anything else
  

I teach this simple strategy to my private clients and participants in my Grow Your Dreams Intensive, and use it myself –  this week I’m STOPPING staying on the computer late (off by 10 PM) and STARTING journaling twice a week (Tues. and Sunday). It really makes a difference!

Love to hear what YOU think; please comment below and I’ll reply.

Love and light,
Pamela

How?
By harvesting 2010’s many gifts and lessons for you.

“HARVEST” is the beautiful Seventh Secret of the 7 Secrets to Grow Your Dreams into Reality®. It’s how you multiply your positive results many times over! It’s also how you ‘get complete’ and experience whatever happened with peace and even gratitude, so you can open up to what is possible now.

“Harvesting” involves using the 4 Rs to Raise your Results: Recognize, Request, Receive, and Return thanks.

So to harvest 2010’s gifts and lessons for you, take time to recognize and acknowledge your growth this past year — the delights and the difficulties, the losses and the wins — and the people who’ve helped you along the way. Together they’ve made you who you are now.

Give yourself some quiet time for this Harvest exercise, and it will richly reward you:

I. Recognize your growth

Your transitions, shifts, and growth are happening faster and more regularly than you usually notice. Think back to where you were a year ago, in January 2010, and mentally flip through the calendar of the year and all the changes you’ve been through:

1. Where has death happened? Not necessarily physical death, but the slow crumbling of old beliefs or ways of being, or sudden slippage of familiar patterns or certainties. (However you’ve been with it, know that it’s totally OK…)

2. Where has new life appeared? Not necessarily physical birth, but the slow awakening of new awareness, new hope, or new ways of being, or the sudden emergence of new energy, new love, or new freedom? (However you’ve been with it, all is well…)

3. Do you notice a theme for the year of how you’ve shown up in your life — in relation to yourself, and in relation to Spirit/God/Source? What have you been at work on?

4. What gifts have you received? (physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, creative…)

5. What were some of your accomplishments, victories, and moments of peace or joy this year? (Look in every area of your life: work, relationship, family, health and wellbeing, self-expression, creativity, spirituality, finances, wisdom/insight, friendship and community, self-care, fun, courage and persistence, resilience and patience…)

6. Do you have any regrets or disappointments? See if you can you accept them as part of your learning for the year, all part of your growth… What did you learn from them? Is there anything there to forgive yourself for, or to forgive someone else for?

7. What would you like to be acknowledged for?

Now breathe it all into your heart.  Let everything from this past year absorb into your heart, softening and melting away, as you release the old. It was what it was. All is well, whether you understand it or not… Allow yourself to start to feel more and more peaceful, empty, and open.

II. Recognize those who’ve helped you on your way

Who has contributed to your growth this past year? What do you want to acknowledge them for?

If you’re fortunate and count your blessings, it can be a long list…

Here’s mine – and YOU might be on it:

I am very grateful to have had many brilliant and loving people contribute to my growth this year:

• My mentors Lisa Sasevich and Lisa Cherney, who showed me how to grow my business and finances beyond anything I’d imagined, in a spirit of authenticity and service;

• my amazing fellow Sassies, in particular Helen Wood, Natasha Abudarham, Nikkea Devida, Amethyst Wyldfyre, Joy Perreras, Brian McFadin, Jaye Winslow, Kathleen Loden, Annamaria Pahlua, Sonia Miller, Stacey Canfield, also Jimbo Marshall, Kay White, Kit Furey, Jodi Hume, Mikell Parsons, Lillian Coury, Linda Allred, Michael Sasevich, Mirna Bard, Ping Li, Deb Lindholm, Helen Kim, Veronica Kaufman… Their friendships, inspiration, wisdom, deep support, coaching, partnerships, and community helped me take quantum leaps this year. Friends for life!

• additional wise friends who believed in me and were there with their gifts when I needed them: Laura Vannah, John Kingsley, Erla Heyns, Laura Ponticello, Marion Ferrar, Kellie Ryan, Neal Wecker, Linda Erb, Mary Balfour, Nutmeg, Damaris, Jai Hari Meyerhoff, Daphne Cohn, John Rogers, Hilary Barret, Dewey Neild, Melissa Wadsworth, Vicky Boynton, Ravi Walsh, Carmen Munson

• my “clearing committee”: Margot Schoeps, Jana Hexter, Samantha Abrams, Elliot Sullivan, John Kingsley, Donna Tregaskis

• my Academy of Muses dance family, especially fellow Muses Kellie Ryan, Neal Wecker, Laura Beck and Amy Thompson, also all of our beautiful participants.

• my family family: Brian, for all his support and love; Cora and Madeleine, for the joy and sweetness they bring; my parents for their love, belief in me & my work, and amazing generosity; Aunt Carol and Aunt Janice for same; beloved sibs Coowe, Ruth, Jon, in-laws Sadie, Dave, Katy and Laura, cousins Diane M and Diane J — for being great friends as well as family.

• My wonderful clients this past year (who are often also my teachers) – Possibility Portrait clients, Grow Your Dreams Intensive clients, Vision-Powered Planning clients, private clients, and all the participants at our Vision-Powered Planning Retreats and other visioning workshops and talks this year, and the many amazing people who opened their lives to me in strategy sessions. Thank you for your trust, your courage, and allowing me to guide you into your own Light.

• Last but not least, my virtual assistants, Deborah Davis and Kristin Kuzik, who take things off my plate

After all the ups and downs of this intense year of growth, I am left now full of gratitude and peace. I wish you the same.

Love, Peace, and all Blessings to you for the New Year,

Pamela

At the Sassy Mastermind Retreat in San Diego recently, I was featured in a success panel, had my “Possibility Portraits” displayed to acclaim, was privately thanked for my contributions, reconnected with loving friends, AND had our mentor, Lisa Sasevich, generously promote me (I’m painting her family’s Possibility Portrait).

You’d think I’d be on top of the world!
But you’d be dead wrong.

Sassy Mastermind group (I’m in red hat & dress)

There I was, blessed with public recognition, peer appreciation, and love — and yet I couldn’t take in any of it, because I felt so completely unworthy. Inside I kept thinking, “Ha!  You wouldn’t say that if you knew what I’m really like…”

The truth is I’d been feeling stuck for weeks, resisting changes I was experiencing in my business and feeling anxious and unsure about what direction to go next. All the praise at the Retreat only heightened my embarrassment that I, a supposed visioning expert, just couldn’t see my way forward!  My confidence was completely shaken.

Fortunately I’ve learned enough to know that when we feel stuck, it’s vital to reach out for support from people who will remind us of our true power. So I stopped trying to hide my distress, and started telling the tear-stained truth about what I was going through.  (I’m blessed to have many people in my life who can be counted on to remind me of my power when I’m down, just as I do for them and my clients.)

What amazing support I received!  Like the simple reminder that I am in the midst of a process of deep inquiry, and can trust that I will be guided through it — IF I open myself up to guidance. (Oh yeah, I’d been forgetting to journal, meditate, pray, examine dreams, and track synchronicities… to actually ASK for guidance from Source!)

And recalling the power of making requests and asking for support.  If I hadn’t asked, I couldn’t have received the profoundly healing belief-change session led by my friend, colleague, and fellow Sassy, Nikkea Devida (she’s next to me in the photo above, in the blue jacket). Because I asked, Nikkea guided 4 of us women through a beautiful process that left me feeling clearer and more peaceful than I had in ages. I love Nikkea’s powerful, scientifically-based belief change work, and in fact am learning how to do it myself; you’re invited to listen in when I interview her on Sept. 21. Click here for details and to get call-in info.

And remembering that the only way out of changes that scare us is through them.  When we stop running away — and instead dive in with a spirit of curiosity:  “what can I learn here?” — we open ourselves up to insight, new possibilities for action, and even a sense of play and wonder.

It helps to have coach for this process, to uncover the truth about repressed issues that we think are “fine,” but are in fact  creating tension, anxiety, suffering, and/or resistance (often expressed as tiredness, confusion and procrastination). All that icky stuff is part of our Shadow, what we avoid and fear about ourselves and our challenges… yet when we actually stop and examine our Shadow, it always has gifts for us.

One last lesson I re-remembered: the surest way out of feeling stuck is to take imperfect action — do something bold, even if you aren’t sure about it, even though you’re not ready. Writing this article is an example of that: I wanted to wait until I had some breakthroughs to report. But that could take a while… ;p and I’m tired of pretending I have it all together, and ready to share what I’m learning just from being in the process of exploring change — with no idea where it will lead.  (Getting comfortable with the unknown is perhaps the greatest gift I’ve received; not easy for someone like me who always wants to know the answers!) So stay tuned.

All this telling the truth, asking for guidance, examining our Shadow, and taking imperfect action isn’t comfortable or easy, but it is necessary preparation for a new level of growth and clarity. We have to till the soil to get it ready for planting new seeds…  I’ll be sharing this process in detail (and answering your questions, and learning from your stories) in my free call, How to Get Unstuck: 3 Surprising Ways to Shift, Recharge, and Flow with Change on Sept. 29. Click here to join us.

Speaking of change — my colleague and friend, Hilary Barrett, has organized a wonderful “Festival of Change” at the beginning of September. There are 6 very interesting speakers (including me, yay! See more here) and the whole theme has just set me thinking…

Change is inevitable. Life is Change.

So let’s work with it, embrace it, discard the beliefs that hold us back, and move forward with confidence and clarity!

I know my journey is meant to be shared with others. In fact, this is what makes all ups and downs worth it — so when I break through to new levels, you can too!  Please tell me if this article sparks thoughts about your own journey; I’m glad we’re on this path together.

Build the SOIL to nurture your growth!

The second of the 6 Secrets that Supercharge Your Success is “Build the SOIL” (create the favorable conditions) that make growth and change EASY.

If you garden, you know that plants need the right soil and conditions to grow:
Put a beautiful, healthy plant in rocky soil that doesn’t provide what it needs — and it will soon wilt, or even die.

We’re a lot like that beautiful plant. We have so many gifts, so much love, so much wisdom and vision to share (that’s what makes us beautiful!) — but often the conditions around us make it hard for our gifts to bear fruit. Or worse, they cause our gifts to shrivel up so that even we can’t see their beauty.

Indeed poor conditions affect growth and success in every area of life: health, finance, relationships, organization, happiness… And cause lots of unnecessary stress and frustration.

The good news: you can easily create conditions that support you!

But first, you have to lift your head up from banging it against the wall (metaphorically, I hope!), and see what’s missing.

4 Simple Steps to See What’s Holding You Back — and what you can do about it!

Take a habit you want to change, or an area of your life where you feel stressed or dissatisfied:

1.  List exactly what you’re currently doing (or not doing) in this area, and how that makes you feel.

2.  Now, how do you want things to be in this area?  What’s your goal? And if you achieved it, how would it feel?

3. What’s MISSING that would help you feel more satisfied and successful in this area, and/or make it easier to achieve your goals or vision?  (”What’s missing” might be as simple as a hug or a nap, or as complex as a support network or workable filing system. Note: if you answered that what’s missing is “time” or “money”, dig deeper…)

4. What conditions can you put in place that will fulfill what’s missing?

Here’s an example, a woman I worked with wanted to lose weight:

In step 1 she saw that her habit of coming home from work and having a couple of drinks led her to over-eat.

In step 2, she realized that this habit fulfilled a need (”bad” habits tend to): she needed to relax when she got home from work!  But she wanted to be able to relax after work AND also lose weight… that would feel great.

In step 3, she identified was missing: a way to relax after work that didn’t lead to weight gain.

In step 4, she created conditions to make it easy to relax after work without over-eating: she decided to set up her paints and easel right where she sat down when she got home. “Playing with color is really relaxing and fun for me!” she explained. “I’ll do that instead of snacking. And I’ll make a cup of tea when I get home, instead of pouring a glass of wine.” (To make that easier, she put the teas down on the counter and moved the wine up out reach.)

There are 4 general categories of nurturing conditions.  Which will help you the most with your habit or goal?:

• Practices: nurturing activities you do regularly (daily or weekly), such as meditating, exercising, keeping a gratitude journal, eating healthily, “clearing” yourself before leading an event or class,  scheduling “dates” with your partner, or asking for help when you want it.

• Social support: creating and using a network of people who support you. Your network could include a Mastermind group, board of directors, or friends who support your vision; paid helpers or advisors, such as a coach, virtual assistant, babysitter, or accountant; partners, like an exercise buddy or joint venture business partner; and confidants, people whose advice you trust and who you allow to know you “warts and all.”  Note: you have to give on the same level you want to receive support — in time, energy, or money.

• Rituals: symbolic actions or ceremonies that mark (or create) a shift from one stage or state to another. Rituals can be as simple as your morning coffee that tells you “time to get to work”, or as elaborate and meaningful as a milestone birthday party or graduation ceremony. Rituals tend to be under-used in our culture; a valuable one that’s very simple is the personal retreat (or an “artist date,” from The Artist’s Way.)  Even a few hours alone in a pretty spot with your journal can profoundly shift things…

• Physical changes that restructure your environment, such as clearing out clutter, reorganizing your office, setting up an altar or art space in your home — or setting up painting supplies in the kitchen and moving the wine.

Want help seeing conditions that will make it easier to fulfill your goals?

Apply for *complimentary* Strategy Session with me, where we examine your business or big project, your goals and challenges, and where you are now and where you want to be. Then we’ll discover what is the single most important thing you can do now to get to that place.

If your application is accepted, get ready for a powerful, inspiring, and potentially life-changing conversation — at no charge! Apply now

We grow up hearing words of wisdom like:

“Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration“ – Thomas Edison
“Willpower is the key to success“– Dan Millman

Well, they’re WRONG.

It’s a good thing, too, because you’ve probably noticed you can’t always count on your “willpower,” and frankly, you just don’t like “hard work” — even if you’re a hard worker.

Indeed you may have had the unpleasant experience of working really hard on something you want — like weight loss, a business, or a dream — and being really determined, yet failing all the same…

Does this mean you must be an idiot, or a lazy, bad person?  No, of course not!
It just means you missed one, or more, of the 6 Secrets that Supercharge Success.

People who are highly successful intuitively apply these 6 Secrets, without being aware of the process they’ve used to succeed. I only discovered the 6 Secrets myself when I interviewed some of my clients a year or two after they’d done vision board workshops with me.

Talking to them, I noticed something interesting: those who fulfilled their dreams and manifested everything on their vision boards, had applied the same 6 Secrets.  And of those who didn’t succeed, or only partially succeeded, all missed 1 or more of the Secrets.   Apparently all 6 Secrets are needed to make the difference between flourishing success, beyond your imagining… and failure.

Which of these 6 Secrets That Supercharge Success have you been leaving out?

(We’ll be delving into the 6 Secrets, and applying them, in my 6 month “Grow Your Dreams Intensive” starting in June.)

Secret #1  Plant the SEED.

Get clarity about what you truly want and who you authentically are — your big vision — with visioning tools.

Stay focused and inspired by creating a visual reminder (vision board, “Possibility Portrait”).   Then create intentions & creative projects aligned with your vision.

This clarity, focus & inspiration is the seed for everything.

Secret #2  Build the SOIL.

Create conditions that nurture the changes you desire — with practices, social support, rituals, and structural  changes that make these changes easy. No more frustration, or beating yourself up!

• Practices: supportive activities you do daily or weekly, like meditation, exercise, journaling, eating healthily, scheduling time to pay bills or be out in nature;
• Social support could be a Mastermind group, a virtual assistant, coach or mentor, exercise buddy, joint venture partner, trusted confidants, a loving partner ;
• Rituals: symbolic actions or ceremonies that mark (or create) a shift from one stage or state to another. Rituals can be as simple as your morning coffee that tells you “time to get to work”, or as elaborate and meaningful as a milestone birthday party or graduation ceremony;
• Structural changes in your environment, such as a better filing system, clearing out junk, setting up an altar or meditation area, reorganizing your office, creating a studio space in your home.

Secret #3 WATER.

Take action aligned with your big vision — persistently, purposefully, patiently, playfully! –  to bring it to life.  (Without purposeful action regularly “watering” your vision, your vision is just a fantasy and will never become real.)

There are many ways to take action. What’s key is to break bigger actions down into bite-sized, manageable chunks, and keep taking actions in your stretch zone, where you’re a bit uncomfortable or even slightly scared. (Stay in your comfort zone = no progress; stretch too far = panic zone and overwhelm!)

Secret #4  WEED.

Uproot the limiting beliefs and situations that hold you back. The first step is to notice that you have beliefs, and perhaps situations, that are stopping you on multiple levels from fulfilling your dreams.

To uproot them, address the 4 levels on which they effect you:

• mentally.  “Reframe” limiting beliefs and positions, with tools like Byron Katie’s “The Work,” Landmark Education exercises, or affirmations used with a vision board.
• emotionally. Working with images can be very effective here. Some tools: dream work; “Re-seeing” vision boards;  using archetypes, symbols, or animal totems in creative expression — art work, dance, mask-making, acting exercises;
• physically. Take action in the face of fear; use massage or other bodywork to move through emotional blocks; take challenges such as a high ropes course or walking on hot coals;
• energetically. Tools: Reiki, Kundalini yoga, Shamballa, healing energy work, shamanic journeys…

Secret #5. FEED.

Use feedback to focus and deepen your growth and your vision. Seek 3 types of feedback: from Source or your inner wisdom; from people who support your growth & vision; and visual feedback.

• Feedback from Source: Tools: “Tracking” to confirm that you’re on track with your big vision; prayer; “Active Imagination” journaling; meditation.
• Feedback from trusted people such as a coach, mentor, Mastermind group, advisors, or sacred circle. Brainstorm solutions together; seek suggestions; make yourself accountable to take uncomfortable — but liberating — actions;
• Visual feedback is any way to see progress toward goals. Examples: keep chart of “how did I do today?” for goal, practice, or intention; write action steps on Post-It notes and move them to “Accomplished!” poster as you complete them.

Secret #6. HARVEST.

Truly receive all the goodness in your life!  Give thanks for results received, celebrate accomplishments big and small, practice gratitude and acknowledgement daily.

The more you do this, the more there is to receive…

Want to see what’s the most strategic thing you can do to grow your dreams?

Apply for a *FREE* “Grow Your Dreams” Strategy Session: Click here to fill out the form!

Most of the people in my life are, and always have been, employees.  They either don’t take my efforts to build my own business seriously, or they outright warn me not to quit my job.  The unspoken message is clear:  ‘you’re not good enough or smart enough to build a successful business‘ (at least that’s the impression I get).  These are people who have always played it safe.  Of course, I used to be one of them!

I am building relationships with other woman business owners, but my closest friends and family members are still important to me — and I have a hard time ignoring their negative messaging!  Any advice as to how to handle that would be helpful.

Thanks so much,

You can’t force them to change; the only thing you can control is your reaction to their comments. Fortunately there’s a lot of power in that.

Consider that your “impression” isn’t the only possible interpretation. Could it be that rather than criticizing you, they’re just expressing their own fears? They love you, and want to protect you from all the dangers they imagine. And since you know the joy of stretching yourself and pursuing what matters to you, you can be compassionate with these folks who have always played it safe and are too timid to even let themselves dream.

How this might look: “Thanks, Uncle Jim, I know you want the best for me and are worried what will happen if I quit my job. I appreciate how much you care.”

If they persist in being negative, don’t try to justify or explain yourself (they won’t get it!) — just smile appreciatively, say “thanks, I’ll think about that,” and change the subject.

If you can keep on seeing and acknowledging the love behind their “criticism,” you might be amazed at how much the criticism can soften.

Let me know how it goes!

You’re luckier than you know, surrounded by so much caring “criticism” (grin)…

All the best,
Pamela

I was at Miraval Spa in Tuscon AZ as part of my year-long Sassy Mastermind business-and- spirit adventure with mentor Lisa Sasevich, and I’d just been asked by fellow member Amethyst Wyldfyre (right) why I wasn’t willing to spend $65 on a spa treatment I wanted.

Because I’ve never been to a spa. Because I don’t “waste money.” Because I’m not like the “spoiled rich people”  who go to spas.(!?) Because I don’t deserve to do nice things for myself….

Yikes. As Amethyst and I talked, I saw how deeply this limiting belief has been sabotaging my business and my life (and distanced me from all the perfectly lovely “rich people” out there). It’s stopped me from:

* asking for help when I could have really used it. (Anyone else out there feel you always gotta handle it yourself?)

* charging for my services according to the value I deliver. (Anyone else out there waaay undercharging?)

* receiving what I want and need to fulfill what matters to me — $$, self-care, time off, taking in all the love and support around me. (Anyone else who’s struggled and stressed and not taken care of yourself, although you KNOW you have a lot to contribute and can’t when you’re stressed out?)

Even though I could see how how destructive my limiting belief was, I knew it’d come up again…

So I created an alternative thought to tell myself when “I don’t deserve it” shows up: “I am SO worth it!” –with hand on hip, tee hee.  (We call this “reframing your limiting belief” in Vision-Powered Planning.)

I’m also practicing an affirmation I got at Miraval: “I am open to receiving my heart’s desire.”

And darned if I didn’t receive one of my heart’s desires just a few hours later: in my “hotseat” coaching with Lisa Sasevich and Lisa Cherney, above, I received deep affirmation of the value and uniqueness of my Possibility Portraits — and the path to serving many more people, at a much higher level, for far more money, than I’d ever imagined.

In fact I’ve experiencing “receiving my heart’s desire” many times since then. Like in this moment: the late winter sun, surprisingly warm, just blazed out from behind the clouds. What more could my winter-weary heart desire?

Part of receiving all the good around me is also acknowledging it: for example telling the Miraval massage therapist how blessed I felt by his work and all that I received from it. (Added joy: seeing how touched he was by my appreciation…)

Lisa Zimmerman of www.soullevelsolutions.com calls receiving “the energy of allowing love (undefended) to flow into your heart” and says receiving is a spiritual practice for all “serial givers.” Are you a “giver” — or thwarted giver — too?

We can only give fully to others when we treat ourselves with love, respect and kindness. And the world needs each of our gifts!  So what’s something kind you can do for yourself today?  How much are you willing to receive?

Reason #1: Resolutions come from failure and guilt.

We tend to make resolutions to overcome past failures (”this time, for sure!”). For example, if you feel bad that you’re:

* out of shape — you resolve to work out at the gym;
* yelling at loved ones — you resolve to be calmer;
* in debt — you resolve to get control of your finances.

BUT no matter how great your resolutions sound, they carry the seeds of defeat:

Since resolutions come from a need to “fix” yourself, they are unconscious reminders of your past failures and “unworthiness.” Ironically enough, resolutions reinforce your inner critic’s harshest judgements: “you’re a failure, and you’ll be in big trouble if you don’t do better!!” The resulting shame, doubt, and anxiety practically guarantee you’ll fail again.

What DOES work: goals that come from your heart.

Use visioning to bypass your inner critic and tap into your inner guidance system, and uncover what you really want.

Visioning helps you release what’s negative in your past, step outside the constraints of the present, and start fresh — from your intentions, dreams, longings, and core values — to envision a better tomorrow that begins NOW.

Why this works: visioning leaves you truly inspired, rather than “motivated” by external threats or internal criticism. It also gives you new clarity, and helps you tap into your own creative powers and begin to see resources and opportunities.

Keeping resolutions is hard work; but following your vision is a joy! I recommend visioning twice a year — for example at the New Year and summer solstice — to stay inspired, focused, and true to yourself.

Don‘t know how to do effective visioning? Check out our January “Vision-Powered Planning Retreats” or my “Treasure Mapping Kit” you can do at home.

Reason #2: Resolutions are “all in your head.”

Sometimes we write down our resolutions — which dramatically increases their success rate — but usually they only exist in our heads. No wonder 36% of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by February, and 90% fail to last a year!

(Yup, research proves this: Journal of Clinical Psychology, Volume 58, Issue 4 2002).

What DOES work: goals you see and feel every day.

Write down your heart-felt goals AND make a visual reminder (vision board) of how it feels to attain them. Look at it every day!

Why this works: Visual images speak the language of emotions and dreams. Using them wisely can reshape your self-image, improve your mood, and shift negative beliefs.

Images also activate the brain’s A.R.A.S. (Ascending Reticular Activating System), which is believed to be the center of arousal and motivation. (No wonder advertising relies so heavily on pictures…)

Vision boards make your goals seem tangible and achievable, and keep you motivated to take new actions to fulfill them. They also help dissolve negative beliefs that are holding you back, and guide you to see yourself as already successful in what matters to you — even if you have no idea how to do it now. Many people find that vision boards help them manifest results far beyond what they know how to achieve. (See examples.)

Our January “Vision-Powered Planning” Retreats and home
“Treasure Mapping Kit” make it easy to create a powerful,
beautiful vision board.

Reason #3: Resolutions leave success up to iffy “will power”.

“Will power” alone is rarely enough to make big changes in our lives, or to fulfill big goals. Without accountability, tools, and support, it’s human nature to slip back into our old ways — or stay stuck. So why struggle to do it alone, and beat yourself up when you inevitably lack “will power”? You’re only human.

What DOES work: social support, accountability, integrity, and new actions.
Social support & accountability: find a partner, hire a coach, create a team, join a group, share your vision with supportive people.
Accountability tools: create S.M.A.R.T. goals (specific, measurable, achievable, results-oriented, time-specific); track results & accomplishments; note what’s missing when you fail.
Integrity – knowing yourself as someone who honors your word — starts with telling the truth when you fail (or are about to fail) to do what you said. Notice what’s missing, put it in, and make a new promise.
Take new actions aligned with your goals. When you feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, “what’s my very next step?”. Use your support, accountability, and integrity to do it.

Our January “Vision-Powered Planning” Retreats will give you all the support, accountability, and tools you need to fulfill your vision.

The home-study “Treasure Mapping Kit” comes with a manual of supportive “Power Tools” to use with your vision board.

Ready for something new in your life in 2010?

Let me support you with a live visioning retreat or an inexpensive do-it-yourself vision board kit.

To your success and fulfillment!

Love,
Pamela

P.S. And remember that you may want many things, but as the Beatles song says, “all you need is love.”

Here’s my gift for you — a great video that I think you’ll really enjoy; it shows what the power of love can look like all over the world:
All You Need Is Love

Enjoy!