innerbeauties

Her Clothes or Her Characteristics?

2009-04-21T15:08:00.000-07:00

Every day, since the day Mom went to heaven, I have put on her jewelry, her shirts, and her socks. So many of these items have Mom’s name on them. This was the procedure of the nursing home, Mom’s last home on earth. Ann Sachen. My mother.

I proudly wear each item. It was my mothers. With it comes identity. With it comes security. With it come memories. Like the shirt I have on now, is one that she wore a lot. It has a flap that has to be tucked inside the front, and it was always out instead of in. She would say, “this dumb thing” as she tucked it back in.

At Mom’s funeral, the eulogy was shared by us all. We honored Mom with our memories of her. We didn’t share of worldly accomplishments or corporate success. The memories that were shared by so many were of who Mom was, and how Mom lived. The personal characteristics that came up over and over again were generosity, love, faith, kindness, patience, perseverance, gentleness, and on and on the list could go. Mom did not lack in character worthy of honor.

I could get up each day for the rest of my life and physically put on something of Mom’s and though it will have some value to ME, it is not her clothes that create the legacy, it is her character. If I become more patient, then she lives on in me. If I am more generous because she was generous, then she lives on in me. Her legacy will live on if her character lives on in me.

Certain things will forever be an “icon” of sorts that will speak to me of who she was. Like the cross around my neck is hers. It is not real gold, the chain is tarnished, the scrolling rubbed off, but it means something to me. It was worn by a woman who knew what the cross stood for and lived under its power. She wore it because it is a testament to her faith in Christ. I wear it today because it is a testament to my faith. Her legacy lives on. Not in the cross, but in the faith.

Christ lives on in the legacy that is in us as believers. His life is not made visible by our steeples or our pulpits; our bibles or our bumper stickers. If His life is to be made visible at all, it will be made visible in our character; our Christ-likeness.

If you look closely at me you may see some physical resemblance of my Mom. If you know me well you may also see some emotional resemblance, or hear her in my laugh. And though I am grateful for all of these, I don’t want to just “look” like my Mom, or even “act” like my Mom. I don’t want to simply “wear” Mom’s clothing. I want to have her characteristics, live her character, be who she was. Who she was, was a follower of Christ. I will follow her as she followed Christ. Her attributes are worthy of following, because she followed Christ. Christ inside made Mom who she was. Mom’s character, which we praised at her passing, resembled Christ, because Mom didn’t merely put on Christ’s clothes, she was clothed in Christ. We saw it. We spoke about it.

Similarly, I could do what Christ did, and not be a follower of Christ. I can mimic His moves, imitate His voice. I can wear His clothes. But those external things will never create a character worthy of praise. It is only when Christ is inside that our life outside is worthy of praise. Mom would modestly be flattered that I find such value in wearing her clothes, but she would be more proud that because of her I am clothed in Christ.

I love wearing Mom’s clothes, and I will hold her close as I do. In a way, it will always be a part of keeping her alive in my memories, but the clothes will wear out, so I will seek to keep her alive through living a legacy of love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, generosity, grace . . .

Attention all Little Girls - You Go Girl! June 6, 2009

2009-03-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

Jack and I will celebrate 35 years of marriage next week. What an amazing journey. Wonderful, adventurous, powerful, and still intriguing. I love him and he loves me. We have grown in our love for each other and have learned a lot about love from each other.

It is amazing when I think that I was a 15 year-old kid who "got in trouble" and married the 17 year old that was responsible for the seed growing inside of me that so drastically changed my life as a sophomore in high school.

I'm 50 now. Not a kid, but the same little girl that I was back then still lives in me. She seems more confident now, more experienced and mature than that other little girl . . . at least on the outside. Inside the same feelings of curiosity, fear, and anxiety lurk. Every little girl, no matter what the age of her body, wants to know that she is loved, she is special, she is valuable, and that she is worth the time, attention, and devotion of those around her.

When I was a little girl, in my little girl body, I wanted to know that I was pretty, that someone saw me, heard me, cared for me, valued me. I went out of my way to look for the approval of all that was ME. I was hungry for affirmation of a value that I wanted desperately to believe was inside. Seeking to find my value in what others thought of me, and using their measuring sticks to somehow determine if I was close or not.

Well, the little girl is still inside and still wonders if I am valuable, but now when I ask that question, I do not ask the world. I ask my Father. My value to Him far outweighs worldly measurements and His answer always makes me smile with a powerful assurance. When I misdirect my value question to the world, the smile and the assurance is woefully absent, or at best fleeting creating a cynicism that is not particularly attractive.

I have learned that my worldly approval rating is incredibly unreliable and vulnerable to my ability to perform well enough. I know now that I cannot perform to everyone's expectations no matter how hard I may want to, whether for my own feelings of self-worth or for the pure and honest love for the people for whom I am trying to perform. Performances are highly over-rated and are subject to the critics of the world who choose to judge you like food or movies. Critics who judge a chef's special recipes or the creative genius displayed on movie screens across the nation, and I rarely agree with them anyway.

Don't ask the world if you are valuable. Don't ask the world to approve of who you are, what you believe, or whether or not you measure up. They are asking the same questions of you, so how could they have the answers! You are both searching for the same thing and it is found in God. Our creator. Our Father. Dad is pleased with all of us, and His answers to our questions of value have nothing to do with performance, and they will always put a smile on your face and an assurance that no critic can take away.

You are loved. You are valuable. You are beautiful. You are intelligent. You are fabulous. You are special. Your Father placed a value on you that is unmatched by all of the treasure in all of the world, and He made all the treasure of the world! This is something that I almost find impossible to teach - like trying to get others to see the picture in a picture and no matter how much you try to point it out, they just squint and tilt their head in quirky disbelief. It almost feels like they have to dig through the mire for themselves, just like I did, in order to believe me, but what they will find, just like I did, is a value that was there all along. Just under the critic's reviews, measuring sticks, and painful life lessons.

My life story is often the key to hope for those who hear it. I will try again to offer hope by sharing these thoughts and other life principles that all little girls (and their mothers) face, at my You Go Girl Conference on Saturday, June 6, 10am to 3pm. Watch this blog for weekly updates.

The Big Give - March 6-7, 2009

2009-02-27T12:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, the conference is a week away and the words are flowing from my mind and spirit onto the keyboard out soon will be out of my mouth and into the hearts (or at least the ears) of women in leadership. Mentoring Women (the women's 12-month mentoring curriculum) will be 10 years old, and Leading Ladies (the women's leadership conference) will be 9 years old! Wow, it is hard to believe that hundreds of women around the world have used Mentoring Women to build and develop the character and leadership of the women in their circle of influence. Pastors' Wives, Ministry Directors, Business Owners, and all women interested in deepening their individual spiritual walk will come together for this event. Only this year, THEY will bring the message along with me. I have written it so that we are all teachers, and we are all students - GIVERS GAIN is the theme and everyone will come to give and through their giving they will gain. I have been pouring over scripture for weeks now, and I am FULL. God has been generous with ideas, thoughts, truths, challenges, application, illustrations, and activities. Here's a clue: The GAIN isn't what comes after the GIVE. The GAIN is IN the GIVE. Wow, there's so much more, but the conference is all next week, so I'll hold on and let it pour out then! Hope you are there. I'd like to learn from you too!

Goodbye Bush and Hello Obama

2009-01-21T12:57:00.000-08:00

Goodbye to President George W. and Laura Bush. You have served us faithfully and completely for 8 years. We thank you and we appreciate all that you have meant to us and our country. You have lived a life before us in humility and grace. We have learned much from you. We have benefited from your wisdom and experience. We say goodbye with joy in our hearts for your future and much-deserved rest; a break from the pain of critics, praise of fans, busy schedule, and fishbowl life. Enjoy your ranch and your freedom from carrying the weight of the world. Just as you, Laura, gave Michelle, a gift of an engraved pen and a journal to begin to write her memoirs, you now have a new journey of your own to write about. May God Bless Your Future.

Hello to President Barack and Michelle Obama. We celebrate your victory. We celebrate the making of history, not only for African Americans, but truly for all Americans. This is a great and wonderful step for our country. There is much to celebrate. You are America's choice and you will now serve our country as Commander and Chief. We will pray for you faithfully, as we know that this job is bigger than any president can do alone. All who have gone before you have done their very best to lead our country, most of them trusting God to provide strength, wisdom, and courage to fulfill their role. Your shoulders are strong, but we pray that God will be your strength as you carry the weight of our current difficulties. You are wise, but we will pray for God's perfect wisdom to rule your heart as you make the choices that will affect our lives. You are courageous, but we pray that you will find the courage that is beyond human wisdom and comes from Christ himself. You are our president and we will all do our part as believers to focus our attention on our own responsibility to pray for you, President Obama. May God Bless Your Future and Ours.

Technology Rules My World

2009-01-02T09:35:00.000-08:00

I used to feel pretty in control of my world, but now I can honestly say that I am controlled by my world. In order for my world to run successfully I MUST have my computer, my Blackberry, and my internet. I know, I know. I am not suppose to be controlled by these things, but what am I to do? I love the amount of work that can be done using these man-made (demonic) devices. We are driven mad by them and yet we are addicted to them on every level! Even the godliest of us is connected to this "world" by blogs, posts, Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, television, cell phone, and the like. My "world" is being turned upside down right now, because I needed a new computer, and new means things must change, and I do not like change. Change means a learning curve. Change means less productivity. Change means different. Yes, my new computer is suppose to do it all! It has a huge gig, fast processing, dvd/cd burning, webcamming, video gaming (yippee) and all the features that the newest and the best computers have to offer. BUT I just want my new computer to do everything that my old computer did, only fast, better, more efficient, and with all the new features that new computers and programs are suppose to have! BUT that is not happening. It is not a seamless transition where you take one computer in, and bring the new computer home and go back to work! NO. The Vista doesn't speak to the Blackberry so we need to buy something else to get them to communicate. The new operating system won't run my old programs, so I had to buy the new one, but that was the Student version of MS Office (which thank God we didn't open and had to exchange for the Standard version! I have my contacts on the old computer so I can't get to them on my new computer until my Vista decides to speak to my Blackberry, and on and on it goes. We've been on the phone with our cell phone provider, internet provider, Geek Squad, and friends. We have been configuring and reconfiguring, and searching for Login IDs and passwords until I feel like a CIA operative! I am in the wrong field! I need to go back to school and get a degree in technology! Stephanie the Geek! Bill Gates and his crew at MS have those of us stuck in the PC world by the throat! Our world cannot survive without his world, and his world doesn't come cheap. Well, you won't hear or see much of me in the next few days, weeks. . . or God-forbid . . . months, because I will be crying in my tech soup.

Mom - 92 Years of Giving

2008-12-16T06:21:00.000-08:00

My son, Chad and I just returned from a visit with my dear mother who is 92 years old. People say, "Don't you mean grandmother?" No, she's my mother. (I think I would know! :) The next comment, is always, "Wow!" She is so much more than a number. The number only represents the years of living, and in my mother's case it represents the years of giving. I learned giving from my mother and I intend to do it for at least 92 years, because I want to be just like her.

92 years of mothering 7 children - all of them a handful! If you know me, you know this is true of me and I'm the youngest so imagine the others! 92 years of caring, loving, and giving to so many - inside and outside of our family. Cooking, cleaning. living, and sharing her life. 92 years of faithful church going, praying, serving, and loving God. 92 years of being the greatest example of the Christ's Fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, meekness, self-control. That is my mother! See, she is more than old. She is an antique - a priceless one to all 7 of us, our kids and our kid's kids and their kids. She isn't only a great-great grandmother, she is a GREAT great-great grandmother. Ask any of her kid's kids or their kids.

I have watched her and dad move from a nice middle-class home to a smaller home to an apartment and into an elderly care apartment where she has lived alone since dad's death in 2001. My trip to Indiana was see her new "home" where she now shares a very small room in a Catholic nursing home. One day her whole existence will be summed up by a paragraph in an obituary column and though I know this is coming, I will never be ready for it.

I hate seeing her there. It was painful. She still has so much to give. She has served for years, and now she MUST be served. She CAN still do most things for herself, and doesn't really understand why she must now be served. They cook her meals when she is a much better cook than they are. They clean around her when she is a much better housekeeper than they are. This is so different for her, but knowing her like we do, we believe that she will find a way to give to those who give to her, because she lives to give.

Mom has "spent" her life giving. In the theme of Givers Gain (the March 2009 leadership conference), she is the greatest earthly example of this important life concept. My mother inspired me yesterday; she inspires me today, and she will forever be my inspiration. Over the years I have written many tributes to her, though the last one will be the most difficult, there will be one constant theme, that of giving. . . 92 years of it and counting.

Leading Ladies Conference Invitation

2008-11-06T05:57:00.000-08:00

GIVERS GAIN

Leading Ladies March 6-7 2009!

Great givers of all time have taught us the value of what we truly possess, and that in giving it away, we gain as much as the receiver if not more. Giving something of ourselves does not deplete us, it completes us. Our giving helps others who need what we give, but more importantly our giving helps us to gain more of what is valuable. A value greater than any physical possessions, therefore giving of things is not the most important gift that we can give. Things are valuable in one sense, yet limited based on our financial situation.

The value of which I speak is the value that is found on the inside of each of us which cannot be measured, for it is immeasurable. We have all been given a talent - The Bible is clear on this, so whether you believe it or not is irrelevant – truth is truth.

We all possess certain abilities. We have all obtained valuable life experiences, so the longer we live the more experience we have obtained! The more we use our talents the better our talents become. We all have something to give to our world, and in giving, we gain. Thus, givers gain.

This year's Leading Ladies Convention - our first since my heart problems in 2005 - is all about you and your gifts to the world. VERY IMPORTANT: You are to come with something tangible to give to everyone in attendance. This year's conference, you are the teacher, the conference speaker, and what you bring for all of us will be your “lesson,” so start thinking about it now, and we will let you know the number of those attending. Let your giving be something that represents who you are and what you bring to the world. Come prepared to give. Come prepared to gain.

Cling to Your Religion

2008-10-25T07:30:00.000-07:00

"Cling to your Religion" on November 4th

In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. - Theodore Roosevelt

If you are not registered to vote, then you will not be voting in this election, since the deadline has past to register for this great privilege. I am sorry that you will not be able to participate, but please do not feel that you are not still a vital part of the process. Please join those of us that will be stepping into the voting booths in just 9 days by going to the Lord in prayer. There is no better time than now to pray for God's heart for this election.

If you are registered to vote, then you have a choice to use your voice in an extremely important election, and I sincerely hope that you will make it a priority. As you prepare to place your vote, then by all means do your homework. Do not make your decisions based on what the news media reports, and do not choose your president from the political commercials. Do not just do what your friends are doing, and by all means do not buy in to Hollywood's agenda.

As you prepare to vote, might I suggest that we not make our decisions for a candidate by their skin color, their gender, or even their party affiliation. Nor should we vote based on any one issue, such as where they stand on Abortion, Gay Marriage, the War in Iraq, or how much money they promise to put in our mailboxes. We must look at the overall person to determine their ability and experience, as to whether or not they are worthy to fill our country's highest position of leadership - the course of our country depends on this decision. We must thoroughly examine their voting history. For it is only their voting history that will tell us all we need to know about the candidate's values, standards, and love for our great country, and of course, whether or not the presidential hopeful honors and reveres the principles that God holds dear. We have all heard the rhetoric and the bashing, and it is sickening, but we must do everything that is in our power to choose the best of these two candidates so pray hard, and then get in that long line and be a part of the solution. Then stand behind the winner with the prayer and respect that Romans 13 requires of us. Romans 13:1 "No one rules unless God has given him the power to rule, and no one rules now without that power from God." We are to show respect and honor to them all. Let's do the same as our current president of 8 years, leaves office. He has worked tirelessly in a basically thankless job, where you are to blame for everything that goes wrong with our country. This should not be the attitude of true believers. We are to honor those in authority and stand behind them in word and in deed.

Pray for our country, but don't stop there, pray for our world. Our government and its leaders need our prayers every day of every year-not just at election time, but we must realize that this planet does not belong to America. There is a big world out there, and many people inhabit it. God loves every single one of us on every square inch of it. Let's pray for our world.

One thing I know for sure, change is coming, but neither presidential hopefuls nor their abundant promises will bring it! It is great Americans that will make America great. Every country on the face of the planet can make their country great by their own personal choices. Choose wisely-on election day and every day.

The Shack - A book that EVERYONE on the Planet Should Read, especially the Bereans!

2008-10-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

I just listened to a radio interview on The Berean Call website that has me very sad. They seem to be trying to protect us from a book that they feel is dangerous. I am going to tell you all my opinion of this interview, and I am going to be painfully honest, though I hope still generous with grace.

Most of the controversy comes from those (like these) that haven't even read the book, but primarily from those that feel that they are to be "watch dogs" for our Christian faith. We all have the Spirit of the living God within us and can certainly judge for ourselves. I am always very concerned about anyone that I feel is being critical or judgmental of another. Especially when the criticism is of another brother or sister in Christ. I was highly offended by the inappropriate portrayal of a profoundly godly man, William P. Young, the author of The Shack, as a heretic among other things.
Many pertinent questions about God are addressed throughout this life-changing book. Many are coming to Christ and others are reconfirming their faith in Christ because of it! I don't see that as a bad thing, just because it doesn't fit someone's narrow view of all things God. The book offers many insightful and scriptural thoughts about God, yet opponents of the book see it as an "abomination" because it seems less than main stream, conventional, or traditional in THEIR (not so humble) opinion. Well, I have kept silent about it, but I've had it!
The critics of The Shack are few and far between, and most of the criticism comes from those that have God in some "box" that they have created for Him with their finite minds. God cannot be comprehended by our human intellect, and even our interpretation of His Word is fallible therefore we'd do well to tread lightly if we think we have figured Him out - like the two gentlemen on the radio seem to think that they have.
Using phrases like the book is an "abomination from beginning to end." This is incredible to me! For someone to criticize so strongly is bad enough one Christian of another, but the man wielding these harsh words admitted that he had NOT read the book! He called it "blasphemy of the worst sort." That attitude not only SHOCKS me, but DISTURBS me, since it reminds me of the Pharisees and "religious people" of Jesus' day! He was neither conventional nor traditional and didn't fit in their boxes for a Savior either, and they rejected His message too; straining at a gnat and swallowing a camel.
Their dialog about the book is blasphemy to me, since they don't even know what they are talking about!!!!! Stating that the "writer should tremble because he is going to stand before God" YIKES! We will all stand before God and give an account for every unwholesome word we have ever spoken. My Berean friends from this interview are dangerously casting stones. I do not feel comfortable judging another man's work. I am more interested in bringing people together than I am in dividing people. I am working hard to DRAW people to Christ, not polarize Christians and divide those that already call Him Lord. I know that they seem to think we can't see the truth from a lie without their help, but their God is my God too. He is more than able to "lead me into all truth" therefore I do not need them to tell me what is WRONG everything, and they do seem to find something wrong with everything. This may be a huge disappointment to God for the use of their time here on earth.
The old gentleman in this interview (in my opinion) is way off base, especially if he thinks that what is written in The Shack "corrupts the mind", or "corrupts the heart" because that couldn't be farther from the truth. I am shocked that he feels so confident in his opinion of this book that he has never read, and the others whose names that he mentioned with contempt calling what they are doing for Christ "Apostasy and Blasphemy!" Wow, I wish I was that close to God or that sure of everything that I believe, but I am of the opinion that none of us are as perfect as we seem to think we are, or as worthy to sit in judgment of another.
THE SHACK is the best book that I have read in my entire Christian life and I am proud to tell everyone that I know to read it. In fact, I now have it on my Mentoring Women must-read list for the month on Evangelism. (Yes, evangelism!) Maybe they should interview someone who HAS read the book!
I believe that God can come in any form that He needs to in order reach the hearts of those He loves, even if The Bereans don't like the form He chooses. He's never been too afraid of what people might think. He chose to reveal himself in burning bush, but we don't worship bushes. He chose to speak through a donkey, but we don't worship them either. His voice is like thunder some times and still small voice at others! Come on, people, why not an endearing black woman? If you've read the book, this part makes sense. He's not saying GOD IS A BLACK WOMAN.
If you haven't read the book, then read it, and if you still don't like it, just don't like it! But there is no reason to bash a brother of the faith who is telling his story through an allegory or a novel that is life-transforming like The Shack. Legalism never changes lives - read your Bible too, while your at it.

In these last days, we need to move more as united brothers and sisters in Christ and stop dividing our troops over our differing opinions and criticisms. Do yourself a favor, and READ THE BOOK. I have attached from you my own link for you to listen to Paul Young (author of The Shack) being interviewed by James Robison - a powerful man of God who gets it!

Please feel free, as I have here, to disagree with me on this, but only AFTER you have read it for yourself. And by all means let's grow up and get along!

The Shack it is a novel that centers on a man who was “stuck” in his pain from a terrible tragedy that occurred in his life, and as a result, he had some very distorted views of God. In order to be healed, he has to go to the “shack”—the source of his pain. It was in this place that he met God. In this interview, Paul Young briefly shares his own testimony—including his failures and his redemptive, healing journey—and its relevance to the story in this book. If you click on the following link (or copy and paste it into your browser), http://lifetoday.edgeboss.net/download/lifetoday/SWF/2008/07/80714.swf you can view this interview, which runs for about 15 minutes of the 30 minute program. If you are unable to view this interview, you can click on the following link and read the transcript from that interview: http://www.lifetoday.org/site/DocServer/7-14.doc?docID=1641

During a second interview we watched, something spontaneous happened in the audience that was very powerful. I’ve included that one here as well: http://lifetoday.edgeboss.net/download/lifetoday/SWF/2008/07/80728.swf.

TO: Little Word, Lots of Life Lived There!

2008-03-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

Such a little word and yet so much of our existence is lived there! The word "to" has great significance for most of us, but we don't often think about it. I am teaching a whole weekend on the topic, so I guess I have found some things to say about it. April 18-19 we will look at the word in great detail. Today, I am thinking about it. My morning was a mess of unexpected demands, and I already had enough expected demands that were tough enough to address. Then arose the truly important issues that needed my attention, so I gave them my best shot all the while feeling my anxiety level rise. I answered everything to the best of my ability, successfully moving my piles from one location TO another, knowing that nothing was truly being completed. From morning TO afternoon, I had worked my tail off, but it just didn't seem good enough. Afternoon turned into evening, and here I am wondering why I do what I do, and why my work never feels done. I know you are saying, "So, join the crowd." That's my point exactly. From Start of a race TO the finish, there is a lot of running that takes place. The beginning of the race you are dressed the part, you are in position, then off you go! The beginning is exciting and fun and full of expectation. The end is great too! You can see the finish line. People are cheering. You are a winner, even if you finish last, hey, you finish. So both starting and finishing are fun and wonderful, BUT THE HARD PART IS EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN! That is what I am going to talk about during our Friday night and Saturday in April. I was just thinking about it, so I thought I'd let you all in on it, since you may not be in Atlanta and cannot come to the conference. See you next time I'm in the mood to write!

Where have you been?

2008-03-12T17:22:00.000-07:00

I know. I know. Where have I been right? You've been waiting for a blog from me. Sitting there, doing nothing I'm sure, because I have not written in so long. Well I have written, just not here. I'm sorry, but there were no comments from you either, so I could say the same - Where have you been? I've been writing on MySpace, Epic-ning, The Epic Chronicle, Most Valuable Partnership (my newest book) and of course, answering a billion emails!

Other than that I've been at Women's Learning Community, Church, Theological Discussion, my new Leading Ladies group (I love them!!), working long hours at our church/club, and every morning resting at the feet of my Jesus - reading "Contemplating the Cross" by Tricia Rhodes. The depth of that message is unbloggable. I'm in another wonderful season of lent. Forty days of surrender. It is such a joke in comparison to His surrender, but it is a reminder of what is truly important.

Family is awesome! My two grandbabies make life a joy to live. Caleb (7) and Isabella (2) - they put a smile on my face just writing their names. I love being a Nana.

My husband and I will celebrate 34 years of marriage on March 23! Go team! Easter Sunday we will have been in ministry here in GA for 20 years. We started on Easter 1988. Wow, that makes me feel old. Well, I am old. I will be 50 in 3 months and 29 days. Yikes. That reminds me it is almost 9pm, I'd better get to bed. Nighty-night.

My Sum Total (An excerp from my new book)

2007-11-10T06:56:00.000-08:00

We are the sum total of our experiences, and life gives us so much to experience. It is not all good. But it is not all bad, either. It just is. And if we learn that all of it is a recipe for success in the hands of a creator, our sum total is amazing. To illustrate this, I will use three examples.

A Master Chef. A chef uses lots of ingredients to create. Each individual ingredient may taste terrible alone, but all together it makes a masterpiece. Each individual ingredient serves a purpose, and without it the meal may be too bland or too spice, too sweet or too tart, but together with all the other ingredients makes the meal just right.

An Artist. An artist uses more than one color to paint a picture worthy of display. Subtle hues, bright whites, pastels, brilliant colors, dark ominous dimensions and muted grays – all of which help paint the “story” he is wishing to tell. Each brush stoke, though singular, is intermixed with the others and creates what is known as a Work of Art.

An Orchestra. Though each instrument alone has merit and is worth of concert attendance, together there is something powerful that alone the instrument cannot produce. I love the saxophone or the flute and alone they are beautiful, but they are not able to create the impact that all the orchestra instruments together can provide. It takes every instrument playing in harmony to create a Magnum Opus.

Our Creator is creating a Masterpiece; a Work of Art; a Magnum Opus. However, He is not doing this apart from our involvement. We (more like the orchestra) have a choice to follow the conductor or play our own music.

Three things come into play with the orchestra. The Conductor, The Performer, and The Instrument. For sake of this illustration, I’d like to say that The Conductor is God – He has a plan for the music He has written and is creating. (In this case) His plan and music is written and is being conducted perfectly. The variables are The Performer and the The Instrument. The Performer (you guessed it) is us. The Instrument is our circumstances or our life experiences. The orchestra is only going to be as good as its performers and its instruments.

Each performer must get acquainted with their instrument. They must know its highs and its lows, its ability to create sounds, and its limitations. The performer must use their instrument to the best of their ability in order to play the notes as clearly and as boldly as possible. The instrument is only a tool. Even the worst instrument in the hands of a skilled, knowledgeable performer can make beautiful music. This is why some people (performers) can live a life admired by all, and have had suffered the worst of circumstances (instruments).

The Conductor (in this analogy) is flawless. The Perform (in any case) is not. And The Instrument (in most cases) is completely irrelevant. God will make beautiful music of your life if you will keep your eyes on Him, read the notes He wrote for us, and follow His lead.

Writing and Speaking

2007-10-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

Note to readers: Thank you all for your wonderful emails and encouraging comments left on my blogs. That means you are reading what I am writing. Very soon there will be information on my upcoming Couples Leadership Marriage Cruise (March 27-31, 2008).

Recently I was asked for some help as a Pastor's Wife was asked to speak for a women's event at her church. She said it was taking her a long time to prepare for it. She was surprised when I told her, "Believe it or not it takes me a long time to prepare a lesson too." I spend a lot of time on each lesson and I do 1-6 lessons at an event. I love it all though - the preparation and the delivery.

Preparation really ministers to me. I am in God's Word, and it is the best material ever written. In fact, I am a real stickler and use it as my only resource for all of my lessons. After the lessons are written I sprinkle in some quotes, and sometimes use statistics that I find. Stories may come to mind while I am writing, and I jot a word there to remind me of the story, then sometimes I use that one and other times the Holy Spirit reminds me of another. Any messages that I share at conferences, or that you could order from my resource site would follow this format. Much of the recordings are live; only Mentoring Women was done in a studio. I teach a lessons called "Developing Your Lesson and Outline" for new teachers, to help them with their preparation and development.

The preparation time is the most valuable to me personally, because I grow from the reading and developing. There are many things that touch me during the research that never even make it into the lesson. I always say, "No one learns more than the teacher."

Often the people who hire me (I hate that term) to share for their event only see the 4 hours of messages I will deliver and not the hours and hours of work I will put into each one (not to mention the travel or the schlepping of bags, hotel stay, days away from home). On the scale where I am (the D list) there is no money in it. Ask my bookkeeper and my accountant. But I love what I do, and I feel that what I do makes a difference in the lives of others. That is very fulfilling, and is why "Be sure to carry out the work the Lord gave you. Col. 4:17" to sign my books and my emails. That's job security.

Parenting Attributes

2007-10-15T10:06:00.000-07:00

What are the attributes that draw us closer to God?
Ø Is it His Sarcasm and Contempt for you?
Ø His Criticism of your every attempt to do better?
Ø His Anger and Wrath that comes down on you in front of others?
Ø His lack of faith in you and expectation of failure?
Ø His temper and almost constant frustration with you that makes you feel like a disappointment?

None of the above, right?

Well, then maybe it was:
Ø His unbelievable Love
Ø His inconceivable Gift
Ø His immeasurable Grace
Ø His incredible Compassion
Ø His inexhaustible Patience

Keep that in mind if you want your kids to draw closer to you. Draw them the way that God, Our Father draws us closer to Himself.

God is the ultimate “On Purpose Parent.” His love went beyond all boundaries when He sent His beloved Son with His Gift of eternal life. He knew that we couldn't live a life worthy of this reward, so His Grace covered our weaknesses, and His Compassion allowed us to be human and still be pleasing to Him. His Patience with us gives us the courage and the strength to keep trying when we fail. His love overwhelms us and motivates us to love and good deeds. We love Him because He first loved us. While we were yet sinners He planned for our salvation.

Though there are certainly consequences for our choices and poor behavior, they usually occur naturally and rarely include punishment from Our Father. The pain of these natural consequences are usually enough to teach us and He is always present by the Holy Spirit to “train” us since this is His ultimate goal.

When discipline is necessary, it is never to hurt us but to train us. This discipline is never accompanied by wrath, anger, or violence, and it always hurts Him more than it hurts us because of His great love for us.

His love does not allow Him to use critical, sarcastic or demeaning words in reprimand, or display attitudes of contempt, or disdain. He believes in us, and never loses faith in us.

This is an excerpt from second book, On Purpose Parenting, which is on its way. Buy Ahhh, The Ministry now by going to the Resource page.

Blogging about Blogging

2007-09-01T11:36:00.000-07:00

Blogging is the art of "talking" with your fingers. Thoughts from my brain and heart are being conveyed through my fingertips and recorded in this electronic format. I upload it thinking that you will read it. In fact, I write it thinking you will read it. In a sense, I'm talking to you. LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! Sorry, that was uncalled for.

Well, I'm talking, but that doesn't mean you are listening. Blogging doesn't really require a listener, or even a reader since it is really more about me than about you. I guess that is why it feels so good, and why we enjoy the freedom of it. I really don't care whether or not you are listening, but then again, I must, since I check to see if there are comments about my writing.

Conversations require comments, but blogging does not. Blogging is not like most conversations because if I were talking to you face to face you couldn't very easily walk away, turn me off, or shut me down. Blogging allows you to yawn and roll your eyes, and not offend me. Hey, stop that!

The age of technology offers us the opportunity to meet where as in real life our paths may never cross. So here we are. Am I interesting enough to keep your attention, or will you just click another button and I will just end up in the history of pages you have visited. How sad.

It is my desire that you visit often to hear my thoughts and that you will take time to share your own. I find you VERY INTERESTING. You look marvalous too by the way. :)

Have I "bought" it or just trying to "sell" it?

2007-08-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

I dig the ministry of Christ, not the position, the title, or the workload, but the ministry. The ministry has to be first in me or I can never offer it to others. If the ministry is not in me then I am only “selling” it; I have never bought it myself. I cannot minister unless I have first been ministered to. Ministry reminds me of my desperate need for God and my own need to be ministered to by Him. It is that ministry that should drive my desire to minister. Think about it. It may be the only motivation behind ministry that is holy before God.

Ministry keeps me on my knees (sometimes on my face) seeking, asking, knocking and repenting. Ministry keeps me believing, trusting, reading, learning, and walking out my faith.
Ministry has made me madder than I’ve ever been over anything else. Ministry has hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt by anything else. Ministry has broken my heart, purged my emotions, and made me cry myself to sleep. Ministry has left me alone when I wanted to be with someone, and forced me into a crowd when all I wanted was to be left alone!

Ministry is unpredictable! It is different ever single day, and the faces of ministry are red, yellow, black and white. They are old, young, married, single, or widowed. They are Muslim, New Age, Agnostic, or Atheist. Some love you, some hate you, some could care less about you and others think they can’t make it without you.

There is no way to “finish up and go home” because you are always ministering –home or not, and there is no finishing up. No job is ever complete and those you think you finished do not stay finished! Things you get done seem to come un-done and need re-done.

Ministry forces us to communicate with others, whether we want to or not. It requires time with people and it demands forgiveness, compassion, grace, mercy, long-suffering, and did I mention forgiveness? Well it bears repeating. It expects accountable, vulnerability, honesty, and transparency. The ministry is my constant reminder to live a life worthy of the gospel, realizing that our lives are a “pattern” as it says in I Tim. 1:12-17. But ministry is also my mirror which reveals my imperfections, my flaws, and my own neediness.

Ministry is a tremendous responsibility, and at times, grossly unfair. After all, we are only human, right? Ministry has often been the cause for deep resentment between ministry partners and more times than we'd like to admit, this resentment has destroyed ministry marriages and sent churches tumbling to their death.

The ministry has stretched me, and continues to do so; my life will never be the same. I will never be satisfied with a “normal life” (though at times I wouldn’t mind giving it a shot!) but "...there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, not only for me, but for all those who love His appearing." In writing this book I am again reminded that whether you receive a salary from a church or not, you are in ministry and if you will look for the reasons to love ministry, you will surely find them.

Ahhh, the Ministry!

2007-08-08T18:12:00.000-07:00

I've done it! I've written a real book! I've written a lot of curriculum over the years, but this is my first real hold-it-in-your-hands book! It has a real shiney cover, a real spine with my name on it, and 319 real pages of my words. I have spent time over the years griping about what hasn't gone my way as a writer. Like so many of you, I have a tendency to look at what is not, what has not happened for me, or what I do not have. It is so easy to forget what is, what has happened for me, and what I do have.

I am reminded of a woman who recently gave our church a giftbag full of dimes. The card said, "To some this gift is not much, but it represents 10 cents from every dollar that God has given me." She is not a wealthy person by any stretch, but from that day on I have seen her as the richest woman I know. Her gift came to mind as I write this. Today I offer what I do have to offer to God and You. It may not seem like much to some people, but it is what I have. . . words, my words. I want you to have them. Read them, but more importantly read what is behind them. . . a person. . . me.

Like a Little Child

2007-07-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

This week is our first annual HISkids Camp! Our theme is "I.M. HISkid!" Yesterday my lesson's memory verse was from the book of Mark, chapter 10, verse 15. "I tell you the truth, unless you receive the Kingdom of God like a little child you will never enter into it." This verse sums it up for me. Adults complicate everything! God knew that, and we are only starting to see this. Kids are all ears, while adults are all mouths. Kids have big hearts and little wallets, while adults have little hearts and big wallets. Kids ask simple questions and believe the answers. Adults doubt everything that is said and think that they know the answers to all of the questions so they rarely ask them. I said a prayer while driving down the road and my 6-year old grandson said, "Nana, did you just pray?" He said it like he was surprised that I would say a prayer outloud and it wasn't over my meal or nighttime and I wasn't even in church! I said, "Yeah, baby, I talk to God any time I want to. He's always listening." Without a thought, he said very matter of factly, "Yep, even when you're whispering." I thought, wow, kid's minds are just amazing. One young man yesterday at the end of the camp day said, "This is my best day ever!" One little girl handed me her slobber-soaked balloon after trying very hard to blow it up herself, and ask me to blow it up for her. Oh, I love kids! I smiled, let her keep that one, and blew up a band new one for her. :) God is serious about being childlike in our faith. He said we better receive the Kingdom of God like a little child or we would NEVER see it. God doesn't care about our perfect theology, but looking at these kids is giving me a better understanding of what He does care about. I hope my faith is child-like enough. Sometimes I act like such an adult!

His,
Stephanie
Be sure to carry out the work the Lord gave you.
Col. 4:17