insert GIRL here...

Local Farmer's Market

2011-06-05T13:32:00.000-04:00

Eating fresh food can be a great way to spice up your diet routine and re-energize you in the kitchen. The food tastes better, usually lasts longer, and in some cases may even save you money. I saw this list in the Columbus Dispatch and thought I would share. It includes all of the Central Ohio farmer's markets along with the date and times they are open! I'll also do a follow up post with some CSA delivery options too.
FARMER'S MARKETS: WHERE TO SHOP
• Baltimore Farmers Market, Market Street between Basil and High streets, Baltimore: 4 to 7 p.m. Fridays through Oct. 21 (740-862-6741)
• Bexley Farmers Market, E. Main Street and S. Parkview Avenue, Bexley: 4 to 7 p.m. Thursdays through October (614-235-2305, www.bexleyfarmersmarket.com )
• Canal Winchester Farmers Market, 36 S. High St., Canal Winchester: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through Oct. 15; and 5 to 7 p.m. Wednesdays, July 6 through August (614-270-5053, www.thecwfm.com )
• Clintonville Farmers Market, N. High Street between Orchard Lane and W. Dunedin Road: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through October (614-341-7131)
• Columbus Commons Market, Rich Street and the Outdoor Reading Room: 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m.   Wednesdays through August (614-645-5061)
• COSI Pearl Alley Growers, 333 W. Broad St.: 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturdays, July 9 to Oct. 29 (419-674-4719)
• Delaware County Farmers Market, 236 Pennsylvania Ave., at the fairgrounds, Delaware: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through October (740-524-3562)
• Delaware Farmers Market, N. Sandusky Street north of Central Avenue, Delaware: 3 to 6 p.m. Wednesdays and 9:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Saturdays through October (740-362-6050)
• Doran's Farm Market, 5462 Babbitt Rd., southeast of New Albany: 8 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily through June; and 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily, July through October (614-855-3885, 614- 855-7132)
• Dublin Farmers Market, 81 W.   Bridge St., Dublin: 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Wednesdays through September (937-644-0786)
• Easton Farmers Market, in the lot between Fado Irish Pub and West Elm, at Easton Town Center: 3 to 7 p.m. Thursdays through September (  www.eastonfarmersmarket.org)
• Farm Barn Market, 7981 Rings Rd., Dublin: 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays, through November (614-873-5672)
• Fayette County Farmers Market, East and S. Main streets, Washington Court House: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through Oct. 1 (740-948-2633)
• Fulton Creek Jersey Farmstead, 9518 Welsch Rd., Richwood: 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily year-round (937-348-2633)
• Gallia County Farmers Market, 2nd and State streets in City Park, Gallipolis: 3 to 7 p.m. Thursdays and 8 a.m. to noon Saturdays through October
• Grandview Avenue Farmers Market, Grandview Avenue north of 3rd Avenue, in the lot next to Figlio: 10 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturdays through October (614-326-0630, 419-674-4719)
• Greenfield Farmers Market, 1300 Jefferson St., Greenfield: 3 to 6 p.m. Wednesdays through August (937-403-4790)
• Grove City Farmers Market, Broad and Park streets, Grove City: 8 a.m. to noon Saturdays, July 9 to Sept. 10 (614-875-9762)
• Heavenly Host Gardens, 1262 Morgan Center Rd., Utica: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays and 1 to 5 p.m. Sundays year-round (740-892-4678)
• Hilliard Farm Market, Main and Center streets, Hilliard: 4 to 7 p.m. Tuesdays through August (  www.hilliardfarmmarket.com )
• Hugus Fruit Farm, Old Rushville Road off Rt. 664, Rushville: hours to be determined in August; and 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily, September through December (740- 536-9590, 1-888-526-5747, www.hugusfruitfarm.com)
• Hurley Farms, 9249 Rt. 117, Huntsville: 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Mondays through Thursdays and   Saturdays, and 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Sundays, through October (937-686-4463)
• Jefferson Community Farmers Market, 7494 Clark State Rd., Blacklick: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays, June 18 to Oct. 1 (614-855-4260)
• Johnstown Farmers Market, Bigelow Park on the square, Johnstown: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through Sept. 24 (740-817-1378)
• Lancaster Farmers Market, Main and Broad streets, Lancaster: 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Wednesdays and 8 a.m. to noon Saturdays through October (www.lancasterfarmersmarket.org )
• Logan County Farmers Market, Detroit and Chillicothe streets, Bellefontaine: 8:30 a.m. to noon Saturdays through October (413-687-3109)
• Madison County Farmers Market, Lafayette Street and Keny Boulevard, London: 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. Saturdays, July 9 through October (740-506-1184)
• Main Street Farmers Market, 18th and Main streets: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays, June 18 to Oct. 1 (614-252-3283)
• Mampieri Farms, 2395 W. Dublin-Granville Rd.: 9 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Wednesdays through   Sundays, through November (614-604-5717)
• Mampieri Farms, 1680 Johnstown-Alexandria Rd., Alexandria: 9 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Wednesdays through Sundays, through November (614-402-8406)
• Marion Farmers Market, 2222 Marion-Mount Gilead Rd., Marion: 3 to 6 p.m. Thursdays through October (740-389-6106)
• Market at 15th and High, 1871 N. High St.: 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Thursdays through October (937-644-0786)
• Miller's Country Gardens, 2488 Rt. 32 W., Delaware: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays and noon to 5 p.m. Sundays through October (740-363-5021,  www.millerscountrygardens.com)
• Nationwide Pearl Alley Growers, Nationwide Boulevard and N. High Street: 11 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. Thursdays, July 7 to Oct. 27 (419-674-4719)
• New Albany Farmers Market, 200 Market St., New Albany: 4 to 7 p.m. Thursdays, July 7 through September (614-855-2581, www.nafarmersmarket.com )
• Newark Downtown Farmers Market, S. 3rd Street on the   square, Newark: 3 to 6 p.m. Fridays, June 10 through September (740-341-9757, Ext. 1)
• North Market, 59 Spruce St.: 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturdays through Oct. 8 (614-463-9664)
• Olde Worthington Farmers Market, High Street near E. New England Avenue and in the Graeter's lot, Worthington: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through October (614- 891-6293)
• Pataskala Farmers Market, Front and Main streets: 4 to 7 p.m. Fridays through Sept. 9 (740-964-6100)
• Pearl Alley Growers Columbus Square, Rt. 161 and Cleveland Avenue: 4 to 6 p.m. Tuesdays through October (419-674-4719)
• Pearl Market, Lynn and Pearl streets: 10:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tuesdays and Fridays through October ( www.downtowncolumbus.com/pearlmarket )
• Plain City Farmers Market, S. Chillicothe and Main streets, Plain City: 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. Thursdays, June 23 to Oct. 6 (614-873-4912, Ext. 23)
• The Prairie Farmers Market, 100 S. Grenner Ave., in the Home Depot lot: 8 a.m. to noon Saturdays, July 2 to Sept. 24 (614-853-0278)
• R&R Farm Produce, 4340 Lithopolis Rd., Lancaster: 11 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays through Sept. 2 (740-654-0335)
• Reynoldsburg Farmers Market, Huber Park, Reynolds-burg: 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Thursdays, July 7 through September (614-322- 6832)
• Rhoads Farm Market, 1051 Rt. 56 E., Circleville: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays, 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Saturdays and 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sundays through October (1-800-378-8934)
• Rower & Son Farm Market, 4650 Columbus-Lancaster Rd., Carroll: 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily, Sept. 17 to Oct. 31; and 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily, Nov. 1-13 (740-756-9600)
• Schacht Farm Market, 5950 Shannon Rd.: 9 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays, through October (614-833-1932, 614-496-5482)
• Shepherd's Corner Farm Stand, 987 N. Waggoner Rd., Blacklick: 3 to 7 p.m. Tuesdays   through November (614-866-4301, www.shepherdscorner.org)
• Smith Farm Market, 3341 Winchester Pike: 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays and noon to 6 p.m. Sundays through October (614-235-2014,  www.smithfarmmarketohio.com )
• Smith Farm Market Gahanna, 380 Agler Rd.: June 21 through September (614-370-8593)
• Summit Ridge Farm Market, 14282 National Rd. S.W., east of Reynoldsburg: 11 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. weekdays and 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. weekends year-round (614-864-4040)
• Sunbury/Big Walnut Area Chamber of Commerce Farmers Market, Cherry and Columbus streets, Sunbury: 9 a.m. to noon Saturdays through Oct. 15 (740-965-2860)
• Union County Farmers Market, 6th and Plum streets, Marysville: 8 a.m. to noon Saturdays through October (937-644-8530)
• Upper Arlington Farmers Market, 1945 Ridgeview Rd., at the Upper Arlington Senior Center: 3:30 to 6:30 p.m. Wednesdays through Oct. 12 (614-233-1392)
• Uptown Westerville Farmers Market, N. State and E. Home streets, Westerville: 3 to 6 p.m. Wednesdays through October (614-352-1144,  www.marketwednesday.com )
• Velvet Ice Cream Farmers Market, 11324 Mount Vernon Rd., Utica: 3 to 6 p.m. Wednesdays, June 15 through August (1-800-589-5000)
• West Jefferson Farmers Market Plus, 28 E. Main St., West Jefferson: 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. through Oct. 1 (614-560-5754)

The last day....

2010-08-25T08:24:00.000-04:00

It's me again. Another attempt at keeping a regular journal. It's the day before my 30th birthday and it's got me feeling sentimental and reflective. Don't get me wrong. I am super excited about turning thirty. Something about thirty to me says freedom. And while I feel like I spent all of my twenties trying to get to that grown up place. The place where all the things I am supposed to do (i.e. find a great job, get married, start a family), doesn't exist anymore. Well, I mean its still there and there are still a ton of things I want to do. But for some reason, at this moment in time, I don't feel the pressure. There's a lot of pressure to do these things before you are thirty but now, I feel like it will just happen when it happens and I can stop stressing about it.

So now that we've got that straight, I'm okay with turning 30, let's get to the real heart of the matter.

I had lapband surgery 20 months ago (a year and 8 months) to be exact and I barely lost any weight. My biggest fear going into it was that I would be the one person that would fail. Maybe I sabotaged myself. You know, like a self fulfilling prophecy. I was so afraid that I would fail that I didn't tell anyone I was even having the surgery except for my family and a close friend. It was almost as if I was afraid to admit that I was happy and to believe that it could work because I have been disappointed so many other times.

So flash-forward nearly two years and I've lost forty lbs, and hardly none of it was from the band. I'm still terribly close to the 300 mark and that scares me to death. I'm glad I am not over it, but I feel like nothing has changed and I am still unhappy about my weight.

So I went to the DR and discussed having the band removed and getting gastric bypass. I was so nervous having that conversation. So afraid that everyone would judge me but you know what? I am thirty and I just don't give a damn what other people think. I've done everything by the books. I've tried to live the perfect life. I've tried to please everyone. Where has it gotten me? I still am unhappy with my body and not confident enough in myself to believe that I deserve anything good that comes my way. I continually self sabotage any chance of my being happy because somewhere deep down inside, I guess I don't believe that I deserve to be happy. Perhaps this is what I have been doing with food too. Why i cling to it like a security blanket. Why I have developed this unhealthy addiction to foods that aren't good for me, aren't nutritious, and quite frankly are destroying my body. I don't want to be that person anymore. I hate that person. So this is my attempt to forgive myself for my past failures and focus on the future. An emotional food rehab.

The big story today is Lindsey Lohan getting out of court ordered rehab early for good behavior. This is the fourth time she's been in rehab and clearly none of the other interventions have been successful. Her mother is convinced that this time it will stick, that it will work out and her daughter is a changed person. Though I don't believe her (because people with addictions aren't healed in 20 days) I admire her optimism and support. I have to remind myself not to be so hard and judgmental about my past failures. I have to accept that failing is okay. That relapse is okay. If I am going to have a different surgery and it is going to be successful, I need to embrace a new sense of possibility. More importantly I need to let go of my dependence on food for comfort.

I've asked myself countless times how I am going to do this. And I think the answer is, pushing myself to step outside of my comfort zone in all aspects of my life. To do things that feel awkward. To talk to strangers, dance in the street, join a crazy workout class. I need to stop living in hiding, to stop living in shame. I need to know that I can face my fears and the judgement of people around me and still come out of this okay. I need to know that it doesn't matter one bit if people see who I really am, or know my desires or see my failures. I need to prove to myself that I can survive it all.

Happy New Year!!

2008-01-10T21:50:00.000-05:00

It's a little late, and it has been a while since I have updated my blog, but happy new year to me! I am so excited about all the good things that lie ahead. Somehow I managed to get through the holidays without too much damage. But I haven't been able to get back into my workout schedule. First I hurt my ankle. I could barely walk, so I limped around the gym, did some weights, sat in the sauna and after a few days worked my way up to the bike. Then once my foot was better, I got sick, the flu and a upper respiratory infection. Yuck. Cardio was out. Moving was out. I slept most of the week away.

Today I did water aerobics. It was fun. I enjoyed it. Not an intense cardio workout, but probably good for toning and it's better than nothing.

I will write more later, when I weigh in on Monday.

Weight Watchers 1 Point Goodies

2007-12-11T22:30:00.000-05:00

Okay...here are the most recent finds for one point snacks to kill the sweet tooth.

1. Weight Watchers Lemon Cakes
They are tiny but oh so good. I am still working on only eating one at a time. Right now I eat two...which probably makes them three points, but it definitely fills the sweet tooth craving. And don't judge me because I eat two. Wait until you see them.

2. Ciao Bella Blood Orange Sorbetto

Oh So Yummy! If Oprah loves it, it must be good. She's got the Midas touch. I also saw these on the Today show several times. So I figured I would try it when I realized people are paying more than $20 a pint to have these delivered to their door. They have them at Whole Foods, thank God for $4 60 a pint. And they are worth it . This one flavor has less than 100 calories, 0 fat and 3 grams of fiber per serving. That makes it weight watchers gold.

Hey Ya!! New Boobies and Shiny Jewelery

2007-12-11T21:58:00.000-05:00

Hey Ya! Check this out. I know it has been more than a week since I posted, but don't think I'm not still working my but off and shedding the lbs. I am. I've stuck to me gym workouts since thanksgiving. I weighed in this Monday with an extra two pounds gone! That means I have lost 15 on weight watchers and almost 35 for the year. Super woohoo.

This week for the first time I have been able to feel the weight loss. Not just in my clothes, but I feel lighter. My knees and feet don't hurt as much at the end of the day. I feel like I walk quicker. I have more confidence. Not enough...but the weight loss is really making me feel better about myself and where I am in my life. Plus the habits are finally starting to feel ingrained into my daily schedule. I find myself talking me into a trip to the gym. I can suppress certain urges to eat something unhealthy...and luckily, when I can't suppress it God just eliminates the option.

For example, last week I was craving pizza like nobody's business. I wanted to get a large pizza and split it with my mom so that I wouldn't eat the whole thing by myself. But she had plans and I was on my own for dinner. Then, because I hate to order a whole pizza for one person (I feel like the people are judging me because I'm fat and I might eat the whole thing, but skinny people can eat the whole thing and no one bats an eye) I decided I could get a take and bake pizza instead. But I went online and looked at the nutritional info for donatoes pizza and one serving (which is a fourth a pizza) was 700 calories and 30 grams of fat. And who eats one serving of donatoes pizza. You'd have to have a huge salad and bread sticks to make that a meal. I just couldn't fathom taking inf 1400 calories for one meal...so I nixed the idea.

The next day, still craving pizza I decided to go to whole foods and get a slice of pizza. It is cheap and good. I could get one slice and control my portion. But when I got there...they didn't have the kind I wanted. Now I start prioritizing again. I don't like to waste my calories. The food is never worth the price...it never tastes as good as it does in my mind or as good as stepping on the scale and seeing the numbers drop. If I can't have the specific thing I am craving...and really enjoy it...I'll pass. Because smaller pounds equals orgasmic joy. :)

So what did I eat for lunch on Saturday? I had Chinese food. A very small portion...from the counter at Whole Foods. It was great. General Tsou's chicken (not breaded, Fried brown rice.... yummy. I also learned how to make a 1 pt egg roll from scratch. They are so good and you bake them in the oven...they still get crisp but are not as bad as the fried ones.

Oh... I got distracted.

I bet you are wondering about the title. Well I finally figured out where most of the weight is leaving from...my boobs, my fingers and my feet. Now I have to go bra shopping and I hate shopping for bras. My favorite rings are too big. I switched from my ring finer to my middle finger but now it is starting to get too lose again. I will have to get them re-sized.

Ah the joys of weight loss.

Skipping a week...

2007-12-01T09:42:00.000-05:00

So I started thinking about it and decided it really wasn't fair to weigh in after thanksgiving. I mean come on. What's a holiday if you can't relax a little bit once in a while. I did great on Thanksgiving. It was the days after...the continuous leftovers that brought me down. Surprise attack you say... yes. I agree. They don't warn you about the aftermath. Just the big old turkey dinner.

So I didn't weigh in on Monday, but I have been watching the scale throughiout the week and been to the gym four times already! Go me. I feel better too. Last week I started weight training. I'm glad because I think that will help me shed the lbs faster. I just need to make sure I'm hitting all the right zones.

When I was at Curves (which I hated) the stupid lady told me that I would only be able to lose so many lbs and would never get to my goal weight. Her rational was that if you take your BMI and percentage of body fat...you can determine how much muscle you have. They want everyone to lose weight without loosing muscle. And she would yell at me if it wasn't balanced each time I got on the scale. I hated that. First of all who tells someone at a gym that they can't lose weight. Then she said that I should stay away from leg excersizes like lunges and squats because I tend to bulk up and carry a lot of muscle in my thighs. I know I have big thighs lady, I don't need you to tell me that. But does that make any sense? I mean your leg muscles are the largest muscles in you body (I think) and they work almost continuosly throoughout the day. And if the goal is to have more muscle to rev up your metabolism then why would I not do leg exersices?

So I am finally getting over the emotional baggage I recieved a Curves and letting go of the stupid stuff she told me. Partly because I am losing everywhere except my legs and thighs and partly because I can't do very many weights with my upper body because of my neck and shoulder. I can only do free weights and even then sometimes it triggers a flare up which lasts for weeks.

I did not intend to go here...:) but I wanted to let yall know that I am still here, still focused and even tracking points again. Hopefully I can make some decent progress and lose another five to 10 lbs by Christmas. Ten is pushing it but who knows.

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T21:45:00.000-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving! What are you thankful for this year. Me, I am thankful for finding God and having Lifechurch.tv to help me on my journey towards being a better Christian. I am thankful for the many blessings in my life, great family and friends...a new job that I love and most importantly for the 30lbs I have lost this year. How far I have come! I hope that I can continue to reach my goals next year. Soon it will be time to dust off those new year's resolutions.

Turkey Surprise!!

2007-11-20T08:20:00.000-05:00

Guess how many calories are in your thanksgiving dinner. Go on. I'll wait.

500? Nope. 800? Nope. 1500? Nope. Try 5,000. Yep I said it. The average person consumes more than 5,000 calories in one meal. Is that possible? Yes, considering the meal from start to finish (appetizers, main course, and can't forget dessert) takes 2 hours to eat. The scary thing...it's not as much food as you think.

They did a segment on the Today Show and actually portioned out the servings for viewers to see. They said, it isn't just the amount of food we eat, but it is the fact that traditionally, Thanksgiving dinner hosts several highly caloric foods--mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, candied yams, casseroles, macaroni and cheese, gravy and not just one but typically three types of pie WITH ice cream or whipped cream! Hello. If you had just one or two of these alone, the damage might not be that bad. But together, all at once...whew!

And then there is the turkey myth. Don't eat too much or it will make you sleepy. They said that it is true the chemicals in turkey have a drowsy effect, but for the average amount people consume, it isn't much of a factor. The real culprit--try the 5,000 calories you just ate!! I mean, duh!

So, i am going to the gym on Thursday morning. I am going to try and take a quick walk around the block between courses or after my meal. The annual turkey trot. It won't offset everything I eat, but hopefully I can stay focused and make some wise decisions. I will be eating my macaroni and cheese (Which is Paula Dean's Recipe so you know it's loaded with calories and fat, but it is so yummy!)

Oh...I am reading a book now called Mindless eating. I will have to do another post on it. Very interesting findings from a food psychologist to did research and found that simple things often trick our minds into eating more food then we think...like the size of the container, the activity we are doing, they deal...etc. I found most interesting that when we think we are eating health food...i.e. subway, cosi, or panera, we are likely to underestimate the amount of calories we are consuming by 50%. it's true. I found out my favorite sandwich at Cosi has almost 600 calories...and it is vegetarian on whole wheat flat bread!

News Flash: Creepy Foreign Guy Strikes Again.

2007-11-19T20:26:00.000-05:00

OK. So TV shopping was an all day process and more than a little scary. I have a habit of attracting strange men, particularly in random electronics stores or, God Forbid, on the subway. This weekend it was at Lowes, at 11 AM, while waiting for my mother to pick out weatherproofing supplies for the windows.

I decided that I needed to run and grab breakfast before I passed out. So I ran towards the door and Ta DA... nothing. The door does not move. Then I notice the three red and white signs that say entrance only. Now most doors will be activated anyway, but I stood in front of the door for five whole seconds, looking like an idiot and nothing moved. So I sighed, probably a little loud and over dramatic I'll admit, and the guy working the customer service desk stops what he is doing and says what's wrong. I backed away, shaking my head and slightly embarrassed that someone else had noticed my temper tantrum. I mean, heaven forbid I should have to walk to the other end of the store to get out and then walk back to this end to get in my car.

I turned to head towards the other door, hoping I can still find something decent to eat and make it back before my mother notices I am gone. The clerk, who is still ringing out a suburban soccer mom type, is no longer paying her any attention. He keeps calling out to me, and I keep backing away. Then he yells out "You want out? Hold on." So now I am stuck. Do I ignore him and be incredibly rude, or do I wait, even though he is still serving another customer, knowing that breakfast is slipping through my fingers.

Like the nice person I am, I waited. When he was done he came over and instructed me on how to open the door. "You have to stand to the left. It will open. Try it."

Insert horrible boy meets girl scene here. Never as cute in real life.

I stand where he directed, the door opens. Yea! Now I can leave. Except I can't. He follows me out. Now we are standing in the entryway between the two sets of doors. Me, trying desperately to make a run for it. Him yelling out to me that I am very beautiful

Huh? What the hell is this guy talking about?

I nod. Mumble thanks. He keeps going. Following me towards the second door which is now looking like the gateway to heaven...the promise land.

I get to the door. He must be wearing some kind of electric collar or house arrest device because he doesn't seem to be able to leave the store. But just as I reach freedom I make the mistake of glancing back. He is waving to me. Saying something quickly that I cannot for the life of me understand. He knows I saw him. I can't just walk away. I finally realize that he is calling out to me. Stupidly I go back.

The conversation goes like this...

Him:"I'm like you."
Me: "What?"
Him:" I like you."
Me: Huh?
Him: "I like you."
Me: "Oh. I'm trying to get breakfast."
Him: "Oh, Breakfast. Will you be back?"
Me: (hell no) "Yes. I'm shopping with someone else. She's inside. I have to hurry."
Him: "Come see me."
Me: "Sure." ( not on your life)

Then I left and made certain not to look back.

Okay, so yes I want to meet the love of my life and get married and have lots of babies. But I also don't want to settle. So please tell me why the only people who hit on me are incredibly people twice my age who look like they frequent strip clubs. I want a normal guy, my age, who has similar interests and doesn't look at me like I'm a piece of steak in the Sahara Desert.

This guy barely spoke English. And I'd like to think it's the weight loss, but i believe it has more to do with the new hairstyle, and the excitement about my future plasma TV that made me attractive.

So that was my story.

Weigh In

2007-11-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

Well, Hallelujah and Praise Jesus. I weighed in and hit my goal. I was down 2.4lbs which means I passed my mark by 1.2 lbs. I celebrated with a very extravagant gift. Okay, it wasn't completely because of this momentous moment. I've just been saving up for a while now, waiting for the holiday discounts to kick in and decided to treat myself to a large screen plasma TV. It's not the most expensive TV. It's big, but not name brand. But hey--I've lived my whole life without name brand stuff. Why start getting all prissy about it now. It works. It looks great. It's twice as big as the samsung or sony I would have gotten for the same price. I think it is time for a wii party! Woo Hoo.

Oh and Kudos to me. I worked out on Friday and Sunday! I did really good staying focused this weekend so I could be ready for weigh in. After all, I had to make up for the crazy PMS Binge Eating. It's good to be normal again.

I found a tiny piece of Heaven

2007-11-14T08:31:00.000-05:00

I found a way to get rid of the PMS. Check out this link. It only takes one minute of your time.

http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid416421276?action=rss

or here...

http://www.people.com/people/package/video/0,,20154290_20154496_20154498,00.html

Inner Thoughts...

2007-11-12T09:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel like I am fighting the impossible fight. Like battling with cancer or a terminal illness. I am fighting my own basic biology. I am trying to rewire the way my body acts, the way my mind thinks and how the hell am I supposed to do all that?

Other times I think, Faith, Determination, Consistency. Nothing happens overnight. You've lost just under thirty lbs this whole year. Why beat yourself up because it isn't coming off fast enough. I know I am a good person, but lately I get caught in this self-blaming cycle. I'm not sure if it is the religious part of me or the weight watchers mentality, but I can't seem to get away from, telling myself, "Good. You deserved it. You didn't do x, y, and z. You deserve to suffer." The problem is that no matter how hard I try, their will always be things I can't do perfectly, which means there will always be reasons to blame myself when something bad happens. Like God or karma or fate is delivering me what I rightfully deserve.

As I am writing myself this, I realize that it is a horrible attitude to have about oneself. If this was my best friend talking I would give her a big hug and tell her that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. God is not punishing me. Bad things don't happen because I deserve them. They just happen. It's more important how we handle them. More important that we focus on the good stuff. But it is hard.

And why does everything have to be so hard. I know what I want. I've known for a long time, years even. I'm not just talking about the weight, I am talking about life. I know who I want to be, what I want to do. I keep seeing the life I am supposed to be living and wondering why isn't it happening. Why am I not there yet? What am I doing wrong? I hate to get jealous of other people, but sometimes I feel like everyone else is living life and I just have to sit on the sidelines and wait for my turn. But what if it never comes? What if it never happens? What if this is as good as it gets?

Somehow society has convinced me, and apparently the people around me, that I am not worthy of love or reaching my dreams because of my weight. Maybe that is a self-esteem issue that I need to work on. I used to have more confidence. I'm amazed now at the things I did in high school. I was young and in naive, but now I would call it stupid and foolish. I believed the world was fair. But someone said once, the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. You can only do so much before all of the will is drained out of you. That happened to me in college. I think by the time I graduated and started to settle in my life, I was just tired. I didn't want to try anymore. I've been in the same place for a few years. Stuck, waiting for something good to happen. And even then, even when I thought it had, I was wrong. It was all an illusion. A temporary fix. Even the good things turned bad.

This year was all about breaking the cycle, getting out of the rut. I just didn't think it would be this hard, or take this long. Almost a year...and I don't even feel like I am halfway there. I'll feel better when I've lost more weight, made more significant progress on my novel and bought a house. I think.

That is the million dollar question.

What if I don't?

The Big Weigh In...

2007-11-12T09:26:00.000-05:00

I am so pissed off right now. Okay, not right this very second, but I was an hour and a half ago when I weighed in. I told you I wouldn't loose any weight. I told you my cycle would screw everything up. Once again it did. Just like every other month, I gained during this week, not much but enough to be annoying. I think the scale is taunting me. Maybe I wouldn't mind if I didn't feel heavier. Bloating sucks. I feel like I have a five lb knot in my uterus. Like an alien has taken over a part of my body and I just want it to go away. I hope this is not what real pregnancy is like. I have a feeling that towards the end, it probably starts to feel that way. I understand that motherhood is a blessing, but really...is this fair. Years of this crap--every freaking month. I don't think so.

To make things even worse, I am going to have to log into WW and have the computer say, "we've noticed you've gained some weight during your last weigh in. Here are some times to doing better next week." Fun. And Next week, when this whole miserable thing has ended It will say, whoa there missy, who do you think you are losing more than two pounds in a week! Eat more or everything you've done will become completely unraveled in a matter of seconds.

So that isn't exactly how the message reads, but I am pretty sure it is the intent. And really, I hate the automated messages. It would be different if they changed from week to week. But to give the same generic advice without considering that the millions of people using the weight tracker are not identical just because they desire to lose weight, well that is just silly.

It’s PMS B*tch

2007-11-11T19:21:00.000-05:00

This week has not been fun. I don’t think I want o it is fair that women should have to deal with PMS. It is totally sabotaging my weight loss. It makes me an emotional nightmare. I get overly sensitive and things that I would normally brush off as mildly irritating make me so angry that I make Tae Bo look like a Jackie Chan move. Or worse, instead of getting angry I get sad and depressed. Nobody loves me. Remember when I used to have a life? Hanging out with friends, going out on dates? Remember when I could wash away my woes in Goodfellas pizza at three in the morning. No more Ben & Jerry’s for me. Now I just huddle up in a corner and pray that the pain will go away. It does. But the old way was more fun.

So this week I had .3lbs to loose to hit my goal. And I am scared, because today is Sunday and I do not think I lost anything. In fact, I feel like I gained nine lbs. I am so bloated right now. I feel like my body is growing by the second. On top of that, I only went to the gym two times this week and changed my routine, so I am not burning as many calories. I went on Monday morning…for my weigh in. Then didn’t go back in the evening because it was cold and gray and dark, thanks to the time change. Then Tuesday I said I was going to go, but when it came time to, I just didn’t feel like it. That’s PMS for you. Wednesday I was planning on going in the morning, but work started to get insanely busy and I felt too guilty to go. Then that night I met old friends for happy hour. I didn’t eat junk food, but I did have to cosmos. That’s like four points each on my plan! By the time we wrapped up it was time for my lifegroup and the evening was over. Thursday I finally did manage to drag my but to the gym, feeling completely guilty for having missed so many days. I simply shut down the computer and got in my car, when my clock said 5:30. I had a great workout. It felt great to blow off some steam. I was so stressed out by that point, and the one good thing I realized was that when I get that stressed I can eat or I can sweat. Both make me feel better. The only problem is that I can’t always throw on some headphones and jump on an elliptical. It is much easier during the work day to grab a fatty snack than it is to burn off the frustration in a more positive way. To make matters worse, when I came home from the gym I went to my parent’s house for dinner and had two pieces of garlic bread and a trick or treat kitkat bar.

Other bad things, the PMS has caused me to eat…well, peanut butter, French fries, real butter(on things of course) peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, Starbucks & Panera Hot Chocolate (loaded with fat and incredibly high in calories), Bacon, McDonalds sausage biscuit, and sierra mist.

Cravings I managed to fight off: All fast food for lunch and dinner!(this week I had subway three times! Roast Beef on wheat, low on fat high on veggies!) when I could have had Chipotle, a quarter pounder, or chocolate chip cookie dough blizzards.) I survived a shopping mall food court, (did not succumb to the Auntie Anne’s pretzel) I didn’t go crazy on Friday night, in fact I didn’t even go to the grocery store because I knew that I was so weak and I did not have the strength to go in and only get health food. I would have gotten doughnuts and ice cream and French fries…probably a frozen pizza.

Now I am cranky and in pain. Ice cream would make the pain worth it. But if by the grace of God, I step on the scale tomorrow and hit my goal, well that would make it worth it as well. Here’s hoping.

Drug Addicts and Schitzo Scales

2007-11-05T09:42:00.001-05:00

AHHH!!!! I had a weigh-in today and all I needed to do to hit my goal was drop 1.3 measly lbs. That's it! Do you know how much I lost? Take a guess. 1 lbs. Damn those .3 stubborn lbs. I can't believe it. Kind of takes the anticipation out of hitting goal. And will make it more annoying if I don't lose anything (which given the time of the month is a completely possibility).

To top it all off, I am very, very worried about the holidays. I have faced a lot of extra temptations this past two weeks. On the one hand I am satisfied without nearly eating as much as I would have in the past. On the other hand...I still crave the bad things and don't have the will power to say no. How in the world am I going to keep from binging on pumpkin pie with whipped cream or chocolate chip cookies, or Halloween candy? The fast food I can deal with. It is around every day...and I can eat it once a week and still stay on target. But winter is coming, and traditionally that means lots of creamy soups and bread. Chili, and heavy appetizers like wings for the big game! Ahh help me!

I was watching on one of the morning shows and their is this new virtual reality game that is being used as a therapy treatment for drug addicts in rehabilitation. ABC News: Virtual Reality to Cure Drug Addicts?

The addict goes through the virtual world and encounters many of the temptations that they would face in the outside world once they leave. They have to measure the intensity of their cravings during each encounter and then the therapists notes how long it takes for that craving to subside. When the patient identifies the craving is gone, they hear a certain tone that they then associate with overcoming the craving.

When the rehab patients leave the center, if they encounter an urge, they can call a number on the cell phone and it plays the same sound that they now associate with overcoming the urge. Sounds a little like hypnosis to me, or Voodoo magic, as my pastor might say. But there might be some truth to it. When you think of Pavlov and how we learn to respond to certain triggers, it could be a good idea.

Maybe I need that. I mean, you watch TV and see a commercial for pizza and think, wow, that looks good. I need pizza. Sometimes I think that even if I am not hungry. It is a weird psychological thing. I think, man, they look like they are having so much fun! I used to have fun. Now I eat boring food. How do I get over that? I have to stop writing now. Just writing about it makes me hungry. I wonder if the same is true for sex?

2007-10-31T20:49:00.000-04:00

Weigh-In

2007-10-30T08:52:00.000-04:00

So i knew it wouldn't last. That's why last weeks post was unofficial! I lost 2.6 lbs this week. Which means I have 1.2 to go in order to hit my first major goal. It's cool to be this close and know that I am finding success with these many life changes I am trying to make. Not that it isn't stressful or scary. Do you ever feel like there aren't enough hours in the day? Sometimes I think about all my projects--my writing, my weight loss, trying to buy a house, starting a new job, and focusing on dedicating my life to Christ-- it's just a little too much. I long to have a family of my own, a husband..lots of babies...and then I think "Gee I can't even take care of myself. How would I manage other people?"

I know when the time is right, God will bless me with all of these things. But as I really start to dive into this personal battle with food and weight-loss, I understand that I have a lot of work to do on the inside before I can have the healthy relationships I am dreaming of. I feel like I am not strong enough to resist the temptations. I would completely fall into my old ways if I was in a relationship right now. So as much as the baby fever is whipping its way around my block (I know at least 7 people who are pregnant and another two who are trying). I feel like I need to give birth to the new me. And think how long it takes to have a baby 9 months...right. Maybe I need to re-evaluate after nine months and see who I've become. I like that. So This is my seventh week on Weight Watchers.

Excerpt on the 7th week of pregnancy...

How your baby's growing:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

That's how I feel. Like I am the size of a blueberry. Like I can't do anything yet on my own, but each week I am growing stronger, getting healthier and moving one step closer to the person I want to be.

Unofficial results are in!

2007-10-27T11:17:00.000-04:00

So you are probably wondering why a clip from legally blonde is on this blog. First of all the movie and the musical are fantastic! It is such a great girl power story that I can't help but to love it. This just happens to be one of my favorite songs from the musical. And....

I had an unofficial weigh in and have already hit my first minor goal! Lets hope I can stay there until Monday! Woo hoo. "I am so much better than before!"

Weigh-In

2007-10-22T11:11:00.000-04:00

So it's Monday, and you know what that means. Another face off with the scale. Who will win? Me of course. So this week I checked in with a 1.8lb weight loss. Not bad. Not great. But considering weight watchers only wants you to lose two pounds per week, I think we are good. All in all, I have lost just over 8 lbs on WW. Since I started in December of last year...that's 26.2 lbs.

Wow. It seems like a lot and not so much at the same time. I have been making a constant effort to live a better lifestyle. I will say, with the change of job there was a good couple of months where my workout stalled. Luckily, I kept my eating somewhat in check and didn't gain a bunch back.

But this is exactly why I joined weight watchers. To get a jump start and make some progress again. I'm thinking I made the right choice. Although I am getting tired of logging in to track my points. I know it's bad, but I feel like I keep a running total in my head and get lazy about writing it down. Last week there were at least two days where I went back and entered everything in the next day. What good is that. By then you've already eaten in. How can you adjust if you don't know where you are at.

I also found that sometimes I don't get all my points in. I am getting full without eating as much food. I had a six inch grinder sub and was totally stuffed. That is not a common occurence

So..I'm pushing to get another five pounds in. I will be very happy if I get there in the next two weeks.

Benefits of Weight Loss

2007-10-19T07:27:00.000-04:00

So I heard somewhere that for every pound you lose, you reduce five pounds of stress on your knees. I didn't know if it was true, so I went scouring on the Internet. This is one of the things I found.

Excerpt from Today at MSNBC.COM http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/21246089/
"Before we get into my food specifics, I urge you to lose weight if you’re overweight. Being overweight puts extra stress on the joints, which increases the risk of wear and tear. In fact, every one pound of weight you lose equates to four pounds less stress and pressure on your knees. But there is another reason why being overweight is a problem. Body fat is not just an inert substance, it is metabolically active, capable of producing hormones and chemicals that actually increase levels of inflammation. By losing weight — and avoiding excess calories that can cause weight gain — you’ll automatically reduce the level of inflammation in your body."

Interesting huh. So, even more interesting than the pressure being overweight puts on your body, is the idea that body fat produces hormones and chemicals that also disrupt the natural processes of your body. It also has a noticeable impact on pregnancy...

A 2006 report found a link between obesity and babies being born with neural tube defects and said that women should be warned about these findings, just like they are warned about smoking and drinking during pregnancy. (That is huge!) There are nearly two-thirds of Americans considered overweight and one in three are obese, meaning they have a body mass index of 30 or greater. Other findings...

Obese women have an increased risk of infertility and pregnancy-related complications, including hypertension, gestational diabetes, and blood clots.
Women who are obese are more likely than women who aren't to require cesarean sections.
A study from France found that hospital costs for prenatal care were dramatically higher for overweight and obese women. Costs were fivefold to 16-fold greater than for normal-weight women, depending on how much extra weight the women carried.
The committee recommended that obese women should try to lose weight before becoming pregnant. But it warned women not to diet during pregnancy, noting that "adequate nutrition is important for pregnant women and women planning pregnancy."
Some recent reports suggest that women with gastric banding can have normal pregnancies and better pregnancy outcomes than women who do not have the surgery, but the committee concluded that "it appears reasonable to recommend that pregnancy be delayed until surgery-related weight loss has stabilized."

How fascinating! I keep learning more about how obesity affects my life and I kind of get a little angry that our society at large is in denial and treating this like it is a matter of vanity. Insurance companies won't pay for gastric surgeries (mentioned above) because they lump it together with cosmetic surgery. Unless it is life or death, it's optional. But why does some company who has knows nothing about me save my name and SS Number on a form, get to decide my fate, or how I live my life? Why aren't we as a nation taking childhood obesity seriously?

There's just so much to think about.

Inside Brookhaven Obesity Clinic (Episode 1, Pt. 4/5)

2007-10-17T23:17:00.001-04:00

Here is an interesting clip from the show i watched. I think it is a sad reflection of how our country views obesity. I get really upset with healthcare and insurance because they would rather deal with the symptoms when they arise instead of tackling the larger issue of weight loss. But perhaps that is because weight loss is such a complicated process. Not as easy as we like to believe.

stark reality...

2007-10-17T22:25:00.000-04:00

Two women, a mother and daughter, grocery shopping on a friday night. Both of them are in motorized wheel chairs, and trying to reach something on a high shelf. Both of them were obese. It was a sad and scary thing to see in person. It made me wonder what their daily lives are like. What if that were me? What if I am running right smack into that future?

Tonight, I watched a special on TLC called "inside brookhaven obesity clinic". Normally I would flip past a show like this, but I have taken to anything that deals with weight loss and the destructive habits of eating. You forget how much the media--the images you see and the statements you hear--influence your state of mind. I have taken to surrounding myself with anything that reminds me of my journey to loose weight. I don't agree with everything I see on TV. But it is becoming a good way to remind me of the committment that I have made, and that I am not alone on my journey. You know that you're doing the right thing, but it doesn't make it any easier. I will take all the support I can get.

I am starting to realize that this is much more than an eating issue. It runs so much deeper than that. My whole being has been consumed by my struggle with weight. I'm starting to understand and recognize the little tricks my mind plays on me. The habits that I have developed over the years, some as a defense mechanism to keep from facing the bigger issues at play. I wonder if this is what it is like to overcome an addiction? Caught in the balance of knowina temporary fix is readily available, and to have that instant gratification, but that it is only going to push you further down in a hole that you might not be able to get out of.

I am very lucky to be in a place where I am and have both the time and the resources to make a change.

Hottie McHottie!!

2007-10-16T19:28:00.000-04:00

OMG. So I've been putting in an extreme amount of effort and discipline to make it to the gym at least five days a week. I haven't gotten there yet. Last week I got four, but with four weekday workouts, I am happy with that. This week I am already two down!

That is reason enough to celebrate, but tonight must have been bring a hottie to the gym night. 7 out of 10 guys I saw were so hot I think I foamed at the mouth. Seriously. Good thing I had the disguise of an overweight, out of shape single woman about to pass out from the elliptical, or they might have caught on.

Anyway, the night was good. I hope they all come back tomorrow. I need some more eye candy to get me through the week.

Happy Dance!!

2007-10-15T09:41:00.000-04:00

Finally! I went into my weigh-in today with trepidation. After a week of watching my weight steadily climb each and everyday, I somehow managed to loose almost three pounds this week. Woohoo! I was shocked. But that is good. If I only need five more pounds, well 5.2 to be exact to reach my first mini goal! I can't weight. It is never good to cross the threshold of a century when you're on your way up. But heading back down is fabulous! What shall I do to celebrate? I will definitely take a new photo and post it. I don't think you will see a difference yet, that will only be about 13 pounds lost, but maybe.

I am also going to start measuring myself again. I think it is hard to really appreciate all of the changes your body is going to just by looking at the scale. And now that I have incorporated more workouts into my routine, I don't want to be scared off by building muscle mass (which is heavier than fat) and thinking I am not making progress or doing something wrong.

Maybe when I've made more progress I will post my measurements and weight loss charts for inspiration. I know I always love looking at other people's progress! It keeps me inspired in the beginning to know that someone else out there started where I am.

I also have to give props to God on this one! I have been praying my little head off. I have learned a lot about why I eat, how I view food in my life and for me, letting go of this old lifestyle is no different from someone wrestling with an addiction. It is years of conditioning, and a loss of self. I would not have had the strength to make this change on my own.

Weigh-In #2

2007-10-02T09:38:00.001-04:00

Okay, so this one didn't go so well. Somehow, between Friday and Tuesday I gained 1.4 lbs. How is that possible? I know how. I went rouge this weekend. It's hard not to when family visits. My whole family is large. Eating is a popular thing. My grandmother is the kind of person who thinks you're sick if you don't get a second helping. I thought I balanced it out well. I had fish instead of beef. I had veggies and my TJ snack packs throughouot the day. But I also had pizza friday night. And the pizza had bacon! It was so good. Its been months since I've had bacon. To make it worse, I can't even find nutritional info on their pizza. So here I am thinking it was like 7 points per slice, when it could have been 21. I am always surprised when my "healthy food" turns into 600 calories and 20 g of fat.

So I went off point, and I gained. It's my fault. I guess I need better solutions to get through the weekend. Breaking bad habits is hard.