Insert Title Labs

Long Overdue Update

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 12:27:56 GMT

Reading Various Files into Datatable

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 12:33:48 GMT

   '04a - EXCEL
    '-----------------------------------------------------------------------

    'Returns query against Excel file as datatable
    Function ReadExcel(ByVal sqlString As String, ByVal path As String) As System.Data.DataTable
        Dim strConn As String = _
        "Provider=Microsoft.Jet.OLEDB.4.0;" & _
        "Data Source=" & path & ";" & _
        "Extended Properties=""Excel 8.0;"""
        Dim recs As New Data.DataTable()
        Dim sql As New OleDbDataAdapter(sqlString, strConn)
        sql.Fill(recs)
        Return recs
    End Function

    '04b - ACCESS
    '-----------------------------------------------------------------------

    'Returns query against Access file database
    Function ReadAccess(ByVal sqlString As String, ByVal path As String) As System.Data.DataTable
        Dim strConn As String = _
        "Provider=Microsoft.Jet.OLEDB.4.0;Data Source=" & path & ";"
        Dim recs As New Data.DataTable()
        Dim sql As New OleDbDataAdapter(sqlString, strConn)
        sql.Fill(recs)
        Return recs
    End Function

    '04c - CSV
    '-----------------------------------------------------------------------

    'Returns datatable from CSV File
    Function ReadCSV(ByVal path As String) As System.Data.DataTable
        Dim sr As New StreamReader(path)
        Dim fullFileStr As String = sr.ReadToEnd()
        sr.Close()
        sr.Dispose()
        Dim lines As String() = fullFileStr.Split(ControlChars.Lf)
        Dim recs As New DataTable()
        Dim sArr As String() = lines(0).Split(","c)
        For Each s As String In sArr
            recs.Columns.Add(New DataColumn())
        Next
        Dim row As DataRow
        Dim finalLine As String = ""
        For Each line As String In lines
            row = recs.NewRow()
            finalLine = line.Replace(Convert.ToString(ControlChars.Cr), "")
            row.ItemArray = finalLine.Split(","c)
            recs.Rows.Add(row)
        Next
        Return recs
    End Function

More Handy .NET

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 03:28:02 GMT


'EXECUTE SQL Scalar or NonQuery
'Ex:
'dim count as integer = Execute("select....",True)
'OR
'Execute("update table set field=val where.... ")
Function Execute(strSQL As String, Optional ExecuteScalar As Boolean = False)
  Dim cmd As sqlCommand = conn.CreateCommand
  cmd.CommandText = strSQL
  If ExecuteScalar Then
    Return cmd.ExecuteScalar
  Else
    Return cmd.ExecuteNonQuery
  End If
End Function

'Returns Recordset as Datatable
'Ex:
'dGrid.datasource=FillRecs("select * from table")
Function FillRecs(ByVal sqlString As String) As System.Data.DataTable
  Dim recs As DataTable = New DataTable()
  Dim sql As New sqlDataAdapter(sqlString, conn)
  sql.Fill(recs)
  Return recs
End Function

'Returns Row Count
'Ex:
'if hasrecs(Datatable)
Function hasrecs(ByVal r As Data.DataTable) As Boolean
  Return (r.Rows.Count > 0)
End Function

Viewstate

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 04:42:38 GMT

Really, if your rendered code looks like this, seek help

Animation != Application

Sat, 01 Nov 2008 00:43:14 GMT

Frame-based illiteration engulfs world. Developers worldwide cry. Joe typos his way into dismal eXistenZ. Haloween rocked.

Handy ASP.NET Routines

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 18:13:09 GMT

Trace Output

Sub Trace(ByVal errorString As String, Optional ByVal x As String = "title not set")
    System.Web.HttpContext.Current.Trace.Write(x)
    System.Web.HttpContext.Current.Trace.Write(errorString)
End Sub

Quickly Access Page Elements from Codebehind

Function PG() As HttpContext
    'Ex:
    'PG.Response.Redirect("...")
    Return System.Web.HttpContext.Current
End Function

Quickly Access Application Settings

Function AP(ByVal x As String) As String
    'Ex:
    'MailMessage.To.Add(New MailAddress(AP("SupportAddress")))
    Return System.Configuration.ConfigurationManager.AppSettings(x)
End Function

Bullshit Talks

Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:55:55 GMT

McCain

Obama

Merrill Lynch**	$349,170
Citigroup Inc	$287,801
Morgan Stanley	$249,377
Goldman Sachs	$220,045
JPMorgan Chase & Co	$206,392
AT&T Inc	$183,663
Credit Suisse Group	$175,503
PricewaterhouseCoopers	$163,670
Blank Rome LLP	$153,426
US Government	$152,118
US Army	$150,470
Wachovia Corp ***	$147,456
Greenberg Traurig LLP	$145,737
UBS AG	$141,365
Bank of America	$133,975
FedEx Corp	$121,904
Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher	$120,246
US Dept of Defense	$118,125
Lehman Brothers ****	$115,707
Bear Stearns*	$108,000

Goldman Sachs	$739,521
University of California	$697,506
Harvard University	$501,489
Citigroup Inc	$492,548
Google Inc	$487,355
JPMorgan Chase & Co	$475,112
National Amusements Inc	$432,169
Microsoft Corp	$429,656
UBS AG	$419,550
Lehman Brothers ****	$391,774
Wilmerhale Llp	$383,024
Time Warner	$375,063
Sidley Austin LLP	$370,916
Skadden, Arps et al	$360,409
Stanford University	$341,399
Morgan Stanley	$341,380
Latham & Watkins	$328,879
Jones Day	$309,960
University of Chicago	$294,237
General Electric	$290,584

NOTE: All the numbers on this page are for the 2008 election cycle and based on Federal Election Commission data released electronically on Monday, September 29, 2008.

*Owned by JP Morgan Chase (http://www.bearstearns.com/sitewide/our_firm/press_releases/content.htm?d=03_16a_2008)

**Owned by Bank of America (http://newsroom.bankofamerica.com/index.php?s=press_releases&item=8255)

*** Soon to be owned by Citigroup (http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-wachovia-citigroup-080929-ht,0,6842426.story)

**** Owned by Barclays PLC (http://www.reuters.com/article/topNews/idUSN1932554220080920)

PostBackUrl Equals Change the Friggin' Form Action

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 02:13:10 GMT

Dim btn As New Button
btn.PostBackUrl = "www.insert-title.com"
btn.OnClientClick = "if(!validate())return false;"
btn.Text = "Submit"

Curse you DBNull and/or Is Nothing!

Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:45:19 GMT

that's right, just a title... we do that here. We also have no logo, or branding or consistent income... However, we DO have a hatred for redundant logic.

    Function Notta(ByVal x As Object) As String
        Dim ret As String
        If (x Is DBNull.Value) OrElse (x Is Nothing) OrElse (x Is String.Empty) Then
            ret = ""
        Else
            Try
                ret = CStr(x).Trim
            Catch
                ret = ""
            End Try
        End If
        Return ret
    End Function

Career Developers are Shitbags

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 11:57:14 GMT

Hey Joe.

Yeah, Reader?

What's a Career Developer?

I'm glad you asked. You see, Reader, a Career Developer learns his trade at a university, a place of books and morbid fascinations with formatting and IDE-friendly code. He then gets by on those learned skills until the end of time. Ask him to work with a new or different technology and he'll vomit up a list of training courses for you to pay for. He turns off development at 5PM each day and has no soul.

Aren't you being a bit harsh, Joe?

On the contrary, Reader, this Career Developer who chose development from a "job potential" point of view and not from an inner passion for programming has actually been scientifically proven to have negative soul which means he must draw from the soul of other developers in order to survive. Literally, another developer working with this developer's code must give some of his soul in order to not delete it all and start from scratch. In addition to this, the Career Developer breeds mediocrity. I'm not 100% on the math but it's something like this:

Factory Worker Mentality over Development Environment by n Challenges equals n-squared Mediocre-Results.

Why n-squared?

Good question. A Career Developer works on a project, another developer comes along, and viola! He simply continues on in the mediocre fashion set forth by the original developer because, hey, who gives a shit? If the client was happy with this garbage, I'll follow suit and get back to Enemy Territory for the rest of the afternoon. Mediocrity-Squared.

Hey, Joe?

Yeah, Reader?

What's a Shitbag?