Inside the Mind of Tenley Nadine

Thinking

2011-05-22T00:09:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Free write starting with this thought; Could you stay in bed all day and think?

The short answer: Yes, I believe I could. The long answer begins with me stating that thinking is one of my great joys in life. I don't just mean logical thinking, daydreaming and fantasizing are how I spend most of my time anyways. It can be so much fun that even if hunger began to set in or I had to go to the bathroom I don't think I would. I think I would stay comfortably within the bounds of my fantasies so that I can continue being whoever I want. Not to say I can't be who I want in real life, but its certainly harder when I don't have control over what everyone else is going to say and do. I always want to control everyone, to know what their thinking and how they'll react in certain situations, but I can't. Honestly, I like that I can't. I mean, not in that example, but in a general sense I like that no one has control over anyone else. Your life and your thoughts are a precious gift and you shouldn't let anyone take that away from you.

Deal?

2011-05-10T23:41:00.001-04:00

Prompt: Use the the picture to spark a story or poem.

The town was loud and boisterous as it always was. Children were playing in the street, couples holding hands walked down the main path, adults stopped to chat with one another as they passed by, but most curiously was the man by the wishing well, for he was not joyous at all. In fact, it would seem that he was rather perplexed, but no one else seemed to notice. The man just stood there staring into the depths of the wishing well perhaps trying to force his wish to come true because he knows its the only solution. Then, almost out of nowhere, he's joined by a second man. This one much taller and broader than the first. The two exchange their greetings and the second man passes over a piece of parchment. The first man analyzes it for a moment and then proceeds with the following conversation.

"Right then, all the affairs seem to be in order. I guess there's nothing else to take of." The first man says rather shyly in a bit of a rushed mumble.

"Right you are, Carlos. Everything is in order and there's nothing else to do except for you to come back with me and work as my slave for the rest of your life." The second man says with a sly smile. "Unless of course you've decided to back out of our little agreement. In which case I suppose we should skip right to the punishment clause. What was it again... death, I believe."

"I'm fully aware, Ramos. I will honor the agreement. My word is good, as long as yours is as well."

"Of course, I would never betray my word." Ramos responds placing his hand over his heart. "Your family will be safe and well fed."

"Thank you. You're a good man for doing this."

"Don't thank me! I'm doing this for a slave. I'm doing this to make you my slave and for no other reason. So don't think for one second that its because of you or your family." He pauses, his face a mere inch away from his 'friend's'. "Got it?"

"Yes, Ramos. Of course."

"Yes, Master. You will call me Master from now on." The second man nearly bowed to show his respect. "Right, well let's be going. There's a lot of work to do and I can't have any of it not get down." The two men began to walk down the path away from the village. The second man never glancing back, the first, only glancing back once and only to give a small nod at the wishing well.

First Car

2011-05-09T23:10:00.001-04:00

Prompt: What was your first car?

A safe haven
A place of freedom
A place of complete solitude
A place for me to be me
That was my first car
It was the first place I ever got to be alone
It marked the first time I ever felt responsible
It was perfect its own way
But not quite perfect in a car's sense
It was falling apart
Rusting, breaking and generally not working
It had to be destroyed
It was because of this that I got a new car
A better car some might argue
But to me that's impossible
Because the best car in the world was my first car

Comprise?

2011-05-08T22:34:00.001-04:00

Prompt: Mention all these words in a story that ends in comprise: mechanic, spaghetti, bathtub, stool.

"Yeah, its the bathtub that needs fixing. I'm not sure what's wrong it just doesn't seem to work anymore. Anyways, I'll leave you to it, holler if you need anything." I hesitate for just a second before turning and leaving the bathroom. I spend the next hour eating and watching T.V. in the living room. Then I decide that I should probably go check and see how the plumber upstairs is coming. When I walk in the door however I'm shocked to see the mechanic sitting in the bathtub eating spaghetti. "Um, excuse me. What's going on in here?"

"Oh, nothing, Ma'am. Just finishing up."

"I can see that your finishing up your food, but what about the bathtub? You know, the reason your here!"

"Yeah, yeah, hold on."

Realizing this guy isn't going down without a fight I grab the stool from the corner and take a seat in front of the tub. "Look. I'll let you finish that if you promise to fix the tub right after your done. Deal?"

"I'll think about it." He says with a smirk.

"Fine. What can I offer you in exchange for you doing your job?"

He smirks again, I want to punch him. "I think something can be arranged." He says glancing toward my breasts. Okay, now I really will punch him. "Tell you what. You show me those things and I'll do all the work you want."

I stare at him hoping he'll back down but he shows no signs of it. Finally after several long tiring moments I peel off my shirt and listen while listening to him making ungodly sounds. "Happy?" I say putting my shirt down. He just smirks and pulls open his toolbox.

Leaving

2011-05-07T22:24:00.001-04:00

Prompt: A quiet country road at the end of a hot summer's day. What would you find if you just kept moving along into the sunset?

"You could stay you know." I said hoping that she would stay even though I knew she wouldn't.

"I can't actually. I'm done with this place, and its done with me." I think she realizes I'm slightly offended because she adds, "Come on, you know I love you." Do you? Is all I can think. "I've been here for years and I've had some great times, many of them with you, but now I have to move on to a different adventure. Not better, well, maybe better... I don't know. But definitely different."

"I guess I get it." And I do. Kind of. I get why she wants to leave, why she wants to get out of this crummy small town while she has the chance. I just don't get why she has to make it seem like she's saying goodbye to me. I mean, she is technically, but only for a little while, I'll see her again... I hope. "I'll see you again right?" I ask finally not being able to hold it back anymore.

"Jesus. Of course you will. I'm not about to die we'll still meet up all the time. In the city, in other countries, all over the place. Just not here."

"Why not here?"

"Because." She sighs. "There's no reason to stay." I know her well enough to know that what she means to say is, 'this place reminds me to much of my parents" but I don't bring it up.

"Alright, go ahead. Call me though."

"Will do." It doesn't take her more than a second to get into her car and drive down the road into the sunset. That's what I love about her, she doesn't hesitate. She doesn't let herself get so emotionally attached that she's tied down. She just does what she wants. I wish I could do that sometimes but then I realize I don't need to because I have her to do those things while I do the typical things. Its a win win. I think.

Reflections

2011-05-06T23:49:00.001-04:00

Prompt: High school reminds you of...

Its funny to think of high school again after its over. After you've made it through all of the crap and can finally look at everything with an objective eye. Because its at that point that you realize you weren't always the good guy and that sometimes you were at fault. Like in fourth grade when Jessica Bones started teasing me about being shy, I always pinned the whole thing on her, but the fact of that matter is that I was really shy. I could have made friends and I could have talked more and then Jessica wouldn't have said that because she would never have had reason to. Or that time that Jeremy Kennedy got me in trouble for talking in class, I completely blocked out the part about how I accidently stepped on his foot which then sparked our conversation.

Thinking back on all of my memories I'm realizing that its so easy to skew your memories to make yourself feel better, but its a lie. Is it better to shield yourself from the truth or to admit that you made a mistake and carry on?

Crowds

2011-05-05T23:32:00.001-04:00

Prompt: Crowds make me feel...

Its the first day of high school and I have never been more nervous. Not just because of the stereotypical reasons teenagers usually have for being nervous, but also because my school is little overcrowded. This probably wouldn't be a big deal to most kids, but to me its a disaster. You see, I'm terrified of crowds. I'm scarred I'll get knocked over and trampled, I'm scarred I'll embarrass myself, I'm scarred of every possible thing that could happen in a crowd. Its been like this for as long as I can remember, except up until now its never been a problem because I was home schooled. My Mom decided that during high school I needed to get out of the house and make some friends, I don't agree, but nonetheless I'm here. So as their herding all 2000 of us into an auditorium that's made for 1500 I start to feel sick to my stomach.

They filed the freshman in first which means I technically have a chance at a seat, but I don't know that I want one. Which is better, standing and freaking out or sitting and freaking out? In the end I go for sitting because its probably more likely that something bad would happen if I stood in the back by the seniors than if I sit up front with freshman who are also terrified (maybe not to the same extent, but still). I take my seat and am immediately sandwiched between a rather large guy and a couple who have decided to share a seat. My breathing gets heavier. I can't take this, I'm not equipped for this, I have to get out of here. And just like that, I leap from my seat and make a break for the door. It takes several minutes to actually reach my destination but eventually I collapse to my knees in the deserted hallway. I can't go back in there, I can't do this for four years, I'm done. I'm done.

Worn Out

2011-05-04T23:52:00.001-04:00

Prompt: If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

"Haley! Hurry up, you'll be late!" Mom shouted up the stairway. I heard her and I knew she was right but I couldn't drag myself from the mirror. I looked hideous. I always look hideous, but today I look exceptionally hideous. In addition to my hand-me-down clothes and untamed hair my acne also flared up overnight. So, you know, I've guess I've got that going for me. I'll forever be remembered as the girl with the massive zits and terrible clothes.

For a second I start to look through my closet for something else, something better that will distract everyone from my face, but I know there's nothing better. All of my clothes are from Hilary's "worn out" pile and are stained and out of style... okay, mostly just out of style.

I wish I could be one of the popular girls. One of the one's who is always dressed in the latest fashions and turns every head when she walks. But I'm not that girl. I will never be that girl. "Haley!" I hear my Mom scream again and this time I grab my bag and head down the stairs thinking that if I can't have friends, and clearly I can't, I at least want to pass my classes.

Best Friend

2011-05-03T23:56:00.001-04:00

Prompt: Describe a friend you once had.

His name was Peter, or rather is name is Peter. He was my best friend, he was there when no one else was. He knew everything about me and I knew everything about him. He lived in the tree behind our garage. He was my imaginary friend... my imaginary best friend.

Some people may say that having an imaginary friend is a pathetic excuse not to make a real friend, but that's not the case. Peter was my friend because I couldn't make any real friends. I've been shy for the better part of my life and that's affected me pretty badly in the friend department. Maybe that's my fault for not speaking up or maybe its everyone else's for not inviting me to play with them, it doesn't matter though. What matters is that during that time I wasn't alone because Peter was always there for me.

Eventually I stop calling him by name but I still find myself talking to myself all the time just because I can.c Occasionally I'll stop and think, maybe I'm not alone, maybe Peter's here with me. Maybe he'll always be with me because he's my best friend and that's what best friends are for.

Again

2011-05-02T23:45:00.001-04:00

Prompt: What a story based on this plot, "cancer comes back after three years of remission".

They said it wouldn't come back
They said it couldn't come back
But today they say its back
Explain how this makes any sense

My life is over, everything is coming to an end
Sure, I might get lucky again
But what are the chances of that happening twice?
No, realistically I'm as good as gone

I should just start saying my goodbyes now
My wife will be devastated
My children will be miserable
My friends won't believe me at first
But they have to because its going to happen

How to I go about telling them though
I can't just come out and say it
Not after everything we've been through
Truth be told, I love them all
And I don't want to leave them
Maybe its not to late?

Day 121: Lies

2011-05-01T23:43:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Write about how you felt when you discovered you were lied to.

Trust. Its a funny thing. It starts out so simply, you meet someone and almost automatically you build up a relationship based on trust and understanding. Its so easy to give away, just extremely hard to ever get back. "Can you ever forgive me" was what you asked seconds after revealing the shocking secret. What could I say... nothing. I could believe this happening, I thought that we were better than lies and deceit I thought we wouldn't have to put up with any crap because we weren't those people. But I was wrong, apparently. No, you know what, no. I wasn't wrong, I'm still not that person. I still don't lie to my friends and I still don't make them look like fouls by finally revealing the secret at the worst possible moment. I wouldn't never do that and frankly I can't believe you did. So to answer your question, no, I can't forgive you. Not now, maybe not ever, probably not ever. Because you hurt me and I don't think I could ever trust you again and how could I be friends with someone I don't trust?

Day 120: Inside your Brain

2011-04-30T23:47:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Ginger Kemp and Pete Papillon meet in a hospital ward. One of them wants to be someone else. Write their story.

The incessant beeping wakes me at the ungodly hour of 4:30 in the morning. Upon my quick exception I realize I'm in the hospital. I don't remember why, or rather what happened, but I do know that I feel like crap so that's probably why. I also realize that I'm not alone. The hospital was kind enough to give me a roommate, some girl by the looks of her she's no older than thirteen. But her age isn't really that relevant because I'm more concerned by the fact that she's awake and kind of... well, starring at me. How long as she been there? Has she been watching me the whole time that I was sleeping? I suppose it should be cute when a kid watches you, but strangely it doesn't feel cute when she does it. It just feels creepy and awkward, but I figure I should be nice both to set an example and because I don't know how long I'll be in this room. "Hey" I say not being able to think of anything else.

"Hi. I'm Ginger. Are you new here?"

She asks this as casually as if she was asking if I was the new kid in school. "Yeah, I guess so. I mean I don't really remember what happened but I think it was recent." I pause. "What day is it?"

"Tuesday. May 14th, 2011."

"Yeah, it must have been about three days ago then." I say still trying to piece together the mystery.

"I know. You've been here three days. I'm glad your awake, it was getting pretty boring by myself."

"Yeah?" Then I think again about how she was starring at me and I can't help but ask. "Um, why were you..."

"Starring?" I nod. "I was getting inside your brain." When she sees how confused I look she continues. "Its tough being the hospitals lost cause" I open my mouth to weakly say I'm sure that's not true but she holds up a hand to cut me off. "...So instead of being me all the time I pretend I'm other people. I really try to get inside their brain and be them as best I can."

"Why would you want to be me? I'm just some guy in the hospital."

"No one is just some guy in the hospital. That's the point of getting inside your brain, to figure out your job and your family and your life and how you ended up here. The stuff on the surface is just a place holder for the really great stuff underneath."

"That's nice." I say because it is. "Are you always this smart.

"No, I'm still in your brain I'm feeding off of it. Trying to absorb as much as I can." We both laugh and then our laughter falls into silence. After awhile she chimes in with, "I'm glad your hear. Not that your sick, just that your here. I'm glad someone is here to talk to."

Because I can't think of anything to say in answer to that I just look at her and smile and I know she picks up what I mean.

Day 119: Error

2011-04-29T23:11:00.001-04:00

Why not just work as your supposed to?

Why make me contact tech support?

Why would you do this to me?

All I wanted was to play a video game

But can you do it? No...

"This program has experienced an unexpected error"

That's what you said to me, over and over again

Well guess what, two can play at that game

I'm afraid we're experiencing an unexpected error

I can't be bothered to know what it is though

Because I'm worthless

Sadly, I can't stay up with you all night

Slaving away trying to figure out how to fix you

Because tomorrow is another day and I have stuff to do

So for now I bid you, not ado, but rather, fuck you

Day 118: Window Washer

2011-04-28T23:44:00.000-04:00

Prompt: In 300 words describe a day in the life of a window washer.

The job is simple, technically speaking. Spray, scrub, wipe, spray, scrub, wipe. That's it. That's all you ever hear, that's all anyone ever thinks of when a window washer is brought to mind. But its so much more than that. People stare at you through their windows constantly wondering if your a pedophile who signed up for a cheap show. Sometimes you bare witness to a couple having a fight while their children sit in silence watching you with their heartbroken eyes. Sometimes you fall victim to a couple having a sex without bothering to close the curtain. And then sometimes, on the worst days, you find yourself staring as a young boys lifeless body dangles from a rope. You might think that its those kind of days that would make me want to quit, but no. Those days make me want to stay, because if I wasn't there to call the police who knows how long it would have been until someone found that boy. If wasn't there for those little kids while their parents fight who else would stare back at them with sympathetic eyes. As far as the other aforementioned scenarios, those are the ones that teach me. The couple having sex teaches me that love exists and that its blind to all things (even, the wide open curtain). The women who stare at me as if I'm a pedophile teach me that the world is not always a good place, its not always a place where people can just be trusted.

The job of a window washer is more than just spraying, scrubbing and washing, its living. Its being aware of the world with all of your senses and learning more and more about it everyday.

Day 117: A Flourish of Hate

2011-04-27T23:49:00.001-04:00

Prompt: Craft a poem or story from this metaphor, "a flourish of hate".

"I hate you!" She screamed from across the kitchen as I made my way out the door. "I hate you and I never want to see you again!" I suppose its my fault, everything usually is. But in my defense, she had been pulling away from me for quite some time. We used to be that happy couple you hear about and want to be so badly, we supported each other and loved each other. But over the last few months it seemed like she didn't want anything to do with me anymore. Even around the kids she kept her distance, and you know things are bad when she's not even willing to put on an act for the innocent kids. In a way, I want her back. She was my first love and who's to say I don't still love her? But at the same time, its my fault that this happened. I can make excuses all I want but at the end of the day I was the one who started talking to Katie and I was the one who met her for coffee and I was the one who followed her back to her apartment against my better judgement and I was the one who had sex with her. It was me. Not Hannah. Not anyone else. It was my mistake and like it or not I'll have to live with that. If that means losing Hannah and only seeing her during that brief moment when I pick up the kids on weekends, fine. The important thing is that Hannah is happy, with or without me.

Day 116: Love Hesitates

2011-04-26T23:44:00.001-04:00

Prompt: Create a story based on this personification: love hesitates.

"Goodbye" is all she said
It was so quick, I almost missed it
But I didn't, I heard it and it hurt
I couldn't believe that after all this time it was all over
Would I ever see her again, could we be friends?
None of these questions have answers and maybe they never will
But then she did a funny thing, she hesitated
Just briefly, right after she turned to leave
She just stopped in her tracks as if she was thinking
Or perhaps, regretting, what she had done
Which sparked my own train of thought to wonder if it wasn't over
If maybe she realized her mistake and would come back
But she didn't come back
She just carried on as if she had never stopped at all
Leaving her heart behind to rot on the sidewalk
And keeping mine locked away

Day 115: Nerves

2011-04-25T23:16:00.001-04:00

Prompt: What would be going on in the head of a young executive nervously biting her nails?

I really need to break this stupid habit. Come on, Lauren, your a powerful executive of a major company and yet your nails look like little snubs because you can't break the habit. What kind of idiot are you? No, focus, nows not the time for self destruction. The meeting, that's what I need to be focused on. That's all I need to be focused. My performance in there is either going to provide a world of opportunities or have me eating out of dumpsters for the rest of my life. A bit of an exaggeration? Perhaps. They will probably keep me on as an executive either way, the worst that they'll probably do is never give me a promotion. Which, and I mean this in the least self-centered way, would be just as bad. I love being an executive; the pays great, everyone respects me. But by far the best thing about the job is the promise of promotion. The sheer fact of knowing that things are looking good for you and many promotions are afoot keeps me going and makes me love what I do. I want to reach the top, I want to go as high as I can as fast as I can and never look back. I want to be the best and fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, that all starts in this meeting. I have to give this my all, more than that really, I have to pull out all the stops. I have to just cast my nerves aside and take what I want.

Day 114: The Mistreatment of Socks

2011-04-24T23:12:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Write from the point of view of a clean soak that was mistakenly put in the hamper.

I can't believe this. After all we've been through you've abandoned me in this cold, overcrowded area which we both know I don't belong in. I'm not one of them, I'm clean, I'm your friend... I'm, in the wrong place. "HELP!" Come on, seriously. Just pick me back up and put me in the drawer, or put me on, either or, just don't leave me here. Please? Its dark here and everything smells of dirt and sweat.

Okay, well, I guess your not going to save me. I can't believe I was ever on your side. I hate you. You didn't even bother to keep me with my better half. Without her I'm nothing. If you are going to leave me here to eventually die in this dump could you at least make it possible for me to say goodbye. No, I guess not. I guess that's to much to ask of you.

Wait, what's that smell. Mold, sweat, dirt... oh no, its coming closer. "Stop! Don't come any closer! Don't touch me, I'm not one of you!"

...

Its on me. Its all over me. Its official, I belong here, I belong with the worn out, overly used, dirty clothes.

Day 113: Roommates?

2011-04-23T23:31:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Start here, best reasons to share a room with your best friend.

"Seriously though, we should totally room together next year. It would be awesome!" Kelsey's voice sounds so excited that not even the worst cell phone service ever could make it sound otherwise.

"Um... yeah, definatly. That would be great." I respond though I'm not quite sure it would be great. "Anyways, I've got to go, I have a huge paper due tomorrow and I'm nowhere close to done."

"Yeah, okay. Talk to you later."

"Later. Bye."

Then the call ends and I'm left to wonder if I just made a huge mistake. Kelsey's great, I don't mean to imply otherwise. Its just, well, I don't know if I want to live with her. She's my best friend but this is going to be our freshman year of college and maybe I should meet other people. Plus, I've heard stories of best friends who have roomed together and ended up hating each other after one semester. I don't want to hate Kelsey, but she really wants to room together. How could I say no? Do I really want to say no?

On the one hand she's very organized and so her side of the room would never be out of order.

Also, she is smart, but not super smart. So she would understand we have to study but we would also be sure to have tons of fun.

She's just as big of a dork when it comes to nerdy entertainment as I am so that would be an issue. Actually it would be just like now when we get together to watch Doctor Who.

I don't know, all of that being said she sounds like she would be the perfect roommate. Which makes sense because she's my best friend, but somehow it just feels wrong to live with her. I guess I'm just worried that something will go wrong and then we'll have a huge fight and never speak to each other again. I don't want that to happen I want to be friends forever, but should I give up rooming with her for that? I don't know, but I guess I should start by calling her back.

Day 112: Ideal Place

2011-04-22T23:01:00.000-04:00

Prompt: In 200 words create your ideal place.

Generally speaking my ideal place is a secluded field. There's special about this particular field, at least not in the way one might usually define special. There's no magic afoot and there's no ice cream palace, it's just a field. The beauty of the field is the field. The way the temperature always seems to stay at about seventy-five degrees with a nice breeze. The way no one is ever around to interrupt and so its always just me and my thoughts. The way that whenever I'm around I always feel like I'm at one with both myself and with nature. In this field I wouldn't listen to music or talk on the phone, I wouldn't even read (except maybe occasionally), mostly what I would do is just lay in the middle of the field and think... about whatever comes to mind.

Day 111: Friends

2011-04-21T23:34:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Write a short story based on this plot; "parents help their son make up with his girlfriend."

"Dad, stop! Come on, she doesn't want to talk to me!" I scream as my Dad is pulling out of the car in front of Sarah's house. Sarah is my girlfriend, or, at least she was my girlfriend until yesterday when I accused her of cheating on me. In retrospect, that was a bad call. But in my defense she is partly to blame for being so damn sexy when she's around other guys. How am I supposed to know she doesn't mean anything by it, that its all innocent?

"I realize that but listen, you made a mistake, you should have trusted her, but that doesn't mean you have to be over. Answer me this; do you still love her?" My Dad says holding me by both shoulders as if I'm about to collapse, which honestly, I might.

"Yes." Of course I still love her, we were dating for two years, she was my first real girlfriend, the love of my life. But I messed up, I have to live with that.

"So go in there and tell her that." I roll my eyes. "Okay fine, maybe she won't forgive you, but she'll never know how you feel until you tell her and maybe knowing how you feel is all she needs to hear." I doubt that, but I know my Dad won't let me leave until I talk to Sarah so I march to the door.

I ring the doorbell and within a few seconds the door flings open and its her. "Oh," Is all she says, but then she adds. "What do you want?"

"Um... hi. My Dad drove me over, he thinks we should talk. The way things ended, well, they were a little... yeah, can we talk?"

"No." She says sternly.

"Why not?" I ask stupidly.

"Because you don't want to, your Dad wants you too. You can't always just do what he says, eventually you have to start thinking for yourself."

"I know, but I'm not just here because he made me come, I really want to talk to you. I miss you. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too." She says and folds her arms across her chest. "But we're over. I'm sorry, but maybe this is just one of those experiences that you learn from and move on." She stops then but upon realizing that I'm not going to say anything she goes on. "Your a great guy, I just don't think your a great guy with me. Your going to make someone else very happy. As for us, I think we're better as friends."

It kills me, but I know she's right. We're not getting back together, not now, probably not ever and I'm okay with that. I think. I love her, but how can I be sure that I love her if I've never dated anyone else and even if I do love her for real that doesn't mean we're meant to be together. Love is more than just sexual relationships, it also includes friends and that's good because friends are important. "Okay." I finally respond. "Friends."

Day 110: Lewis Kensington

2011-04-20T23:51:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Take out your high school yearbook and point to someone at random. Write about what you think he or she is doing now. Go ahead and fictionalize that person.
** I changed the person's name on the off chance that they find this blog post it would be really awkward for both them and me.

Lewis Kensington has always been a bit of a nerd, but it never bothered him because he never let it bother him. Sure, when he was little people would always make fun of him but now that he was in college he was just a normal guy. He went to parties (not as many as the typical frat guy, but still), dated girls and he still found time to do his homework and play video games. How had he managed this turn around you ask? Because he was funny, of course. In classes and in the student union and even at parties he would crack jokes and people would laugh and fist bump with him and girls would flirt with him and life was wonderful. College was wonderful. He loved being away from home, being away from all the people who knew him solely as a nerd because he was so much more than that. Here he was a guy, a college guy and he loved that that was enough for everyone and hoped desperately that college would last forever.

Day 109: Vacation

2011-04-19T23:49:00.000-04:00

Prompt: What's your idea of a perfect vacation.

The location is irrelevant. Well, not totally irrelevant, I'd want it to be away from my home. Only because if I were near my home it wouldn't feel like a vacation as much as it would a day trip. That being said as long as I was away from my home anywhere would be fine because here's the thing, everywhere is beautiful. Everywhere has something to offer me and I would love to see any place in the world because I'm a firm believer in measuring your life in experiences. The real question is who would go with me. I have to believe that if I took this vacation now, as the me that I am now, I would go alone. I'm not anti-social, but I do value alone time and as of this moment I don't have anyone in my life who I would enjoy spending a vacation with more than I would going on vacation alone. Maybe me in the future will disagree and if that's the case than great, but as of this moment my dream vacation is just somewhere where I can experience the world alone, just me and my thoughts.

Day 108: Hidden Beauty

2011-04-18T23:50:00.001-04:00

Prompt: Look for the hidden beauty even in the gratings of a sewer.

For several long moments I just stood there starring into the murky depth of the sewer grate. But it wasn't the sewer that fascinated me the most, or at least not the sewer in and of itself. What fascinated me was how the light reflected off of the sewer grate making a rainbow. More than that even, it made pictures. Beautiful pictures strung together by the vertical and horizontal lines, but at the same time they were all still very much completely different pictures. Together they formed one perfect story, it was like a comic strip in that sense. Every panel a different part of the story, each one just as valuable to the ending as the last. It was upon realizing this that it occurred to me, if just one of those panels was missing it wouldn't be the same amazing story, and if that were case, would the story still be as good? If one single panel of the sewer, or by extension, your life, was missing, would it be the same incredible story? No... it would be different, perhaps better or perhaps worse, or perhaps it would be equal, but different nonetheless.

Day 107: The Death of a Stranger

2011-04-17T23:53:00.000-04:00

Prompt: Freewrite for three minutes based on the cliche, "ice water in her veins".

So it was that I ended up standing over the coffin starring at her lifeless body on that warm September day. I'd barely known her, she was just some girl, some crazy beautiful girl. I loved her. I'd never really spoken to her but I'd overheard dozens of conversations, I peaked at her papers when they were passed back (mostly B's), but mostly I just starred at her. I've dreamed of asking her out since I first saw her Freshman year, and now here I am standing over her dead body knowing that she never knew I existed. Something compels me, I don't know what, and suddenly I reach forward to take her hand. I shiver upon the contact, she's cold. I mean I knew she'd be cold, but somehow I didn't expect her to be that cold. Its almost like someone had connected her to an IV that pumps ice water into her veins. She'll never know me, and I'll never know her, not really. She was there and then she was gone before I ever had the chance.