On Being Human

Coming out of the Spiritual Closet

2009-07-16T20:34:00.005+02:00

Last year, I announced at the dinner table, that finally, after years of struggling and pretending, I was ready to embrace my impression of my spirituality.

That is, I was going to be honest about how I felt about god/God, spirits, meditation, images, symbols, synchronicity and let myself in for the ‘fruity loop’ comments of my peers and companions.

Why be honest about something so private?

There are two reasons for this. The first is that I dislike lying. I dislike hiding information. I have a repulsion for it. Personally, I feel cleaner and freer telling the truth, and being open about how I feel and what I see. If that means saying, spontaneously, ‘wow, look at that flower – isn’t it just an expression of purity?’ and it brings a laugh of embarrassment from my companions, I don’t mind. I can’t and don’t wish to repress the irrepressible at this stage.

Secondly, everyone is a bit wacky. That is, everyone has strange stories to tell, but they don’t tell them, because we don’t want to be laughed at, or thought of as kooky or different. So – if you are reading this, and you have a kooky story to tell, feel free. That’s why I came out of the closet, so you feel like nothing you can say will be weirder than what Tiffany is going to say.

And in this case, it takes one to know one.

With you in fruity loop land, and loving it.

Love and blessings

The Breaking of Illusion

2009-07-14T20:51:00.002+02:00

The pieces are becoming one again. The past is rushing in to greet me. I feel like I am back at the beginning, before I knew it was the beginning.

I thought the first time it happened, it was like the breath of God. But it wasn’t. It was beauty, and easily accessible to my senses.

The first time it happened, the first time I felt a crash in my psyche and my view of the world was challenged, I was screaming and hating the world. I was violent, full of my self importance. I was in pain. I was inconsolable. I was five years old. I was throwing a tantrum.

A piece of me detached, and I can see myself in the room, screaming, my eyes puffy from tears, and I see myself looking at me with a certain disbelief. Is your will, so important? Is your insistence on the way life should be, worth that kind of energy?

I did it again, in a violent fight with my brother. Perhaps I was ten. The same madness, the same will, the same anger and frustration at ME, ME, ME. And the breaking away, and the split – so I could see through it all, even in the middle of it.

The break in my beliefs took a battering when I was 14. My parents left me with my grandmother without a second glance. The night I realised what had happened (in my view – that I was unwanted), I felt my adulation of my father dash to the ground. It broke my first and foremost ideal of relationships. I can not say I regained my balance with dignity. I fell down into the shadows and comforted myself with hate and judgement and curses.

And today, eating my own tail, looking back at the past – I am that I am. Without the breaking of the framework that we hold dear to us – we can not see what is. Our expectations stop us from seeing what is. Our ideals stop us from noticing what is really there. Our memories cloud the present. Our plans direct our vision away from the now into some distant future.

It hurts. Especially when you don’t know what is going on. Its painful to face the dreams we held dear become stamped on underfoot.

Perhaps we take it personally, and when someone disregards our dreams, our views, we can become offended and hurt and angry and vengeful. Its painful to live in such a manner.

But what is it we are searching for? More illusion? More images? There’s plenty where that came from.

I’m sitting with what is. The aliveness that exists in the present moment – without my petty frames and thoughtless systems – is the wonder moment.

Sutra I.12 reads,

Abhyasa-vairagyabhyam tan-nirodhah meaning:

HERE we abide in an sustained openness. When the mind is very clear, lucid, and empty, and open, then the innate brilliance, peace, and transpersonal wisdom can shine forth naturally. The sacred sound is heard -- the ambrosial nectar sipped.

Your Contribution

2009-07-13T20:40:00.000+02:00

The Value of Money

When we get something for free, we don’t value it. When its easy, simple and free, its even harder to appreciate. Perhaps giving a dollar or two, for the posts you particularly like, will help you give value to someone’s spiritual sweat. It might not be a bad idea.

Where Does Your Gift Money Go?

Your financial donation goes towards helping me increase my time for study, practise and writing. Everything I learn, I share with everyone who is interested. Spiritual aspirants in our society are not supported in their life as they are in other cultures. I earn money by taking yoga/qigong/meditation classes on a donation basis. Everything I do relies upon your good will, and a supportive partner.

We live simple, practical lives. We give what time we can to other people in need. We don’t have money to spare, but we do have time and our expertise. My partner often ‘gives’ his time to support low-income operations by creating websites and increasing communication between like minds.

How Does What I Do Help?

What I write about is love, motivation and inspiration. I receive e mails weekly about how sharing my stories and growth with as much honesty as I can muster, has helped others on their spiritual path. Money can’t buy these things. Its something you can stumble upon while you’re staring at the gravel or while surfing on the net. It can be a pretty flower rising up against all odds, or a weird and wacky post that seems to be just what you were looking for.

Getting Involved In The Community

I write for the local newspaper here in Granollers. At the moment, I do it for free, because they can’t afford new writers in these times of financial strain. I love to share, anyway.

I’m currently offering private students an opportunity to learn yoga at a donation price of their own choice. This can even mean making me dinner, or bringing me a pot plant. The gift of yoga/meditation/qigong has no price tag.

I’m in the process of helping create a yoga community for Granollers. I’m trying to help bring the different yoga groups together under one banner so we can share the wealth of information we have with a wider audience.

To Sum Up

I have a lot of ideas, and your donation (created by 9-5 jobs!) help me express the vision of unity I see for us.

Please donate, even if it’s just a token of appreciation. Your kindness is greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Judgment

2009-07-09T17:39:00.003+02:00

How often have I felt the bitterness of judging others?

How long has it been going on?

Why did it start, and how has it stayed with me so long?

"Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your owneye?’ Mathew 7

Today I allow judgment to be released from my system.

Today, I am willing to change.

Today, I release the angry, arrogant judgemental thoughts I have.

I’m ready to let go of my frustration.

Judgement has had its purpose in my life. Its helped me to develop into the kind of person I wanted to be. Because of things I didn’t like, I could evolve into a person I do like, and respect.

Its not my place to think negative or hurtful things about anyone. It only causes me unhappiness and pain. I feel bitter and isolated and angry.

I allow kindness in. I allow people to be as they are, in freedom, to do as they do, without my judgment.

I allow light in, in the place of judgement.

I love the Lord God with all of my heart, with all of my mind, with all of my soul.

Where there is light, there is no room for darkness.

Where there is love, there is no room for hate.

Forgive me. Tiffany. Forgive me for holding on so long. Its time to say goodbye to another negative pattern.

And hello to light, love and happiness.

Amen

Mirror Mirror, On The Wall

2009-06-27T19:31:00.003+02:00

Are we just looking into a mirror the whole time?

Is the world just showing back to us what we already believe?

Is that it?

So then, to know the reality, the truth, I guess the only thing to do is sit still. And see what is to be seen.

Its more than enough, without our own drama added to the story. But then, it’s the addiction to the drama, isn’t it, that traps you. It feels like there is no choice, but that, is a big fat lie.

Back to the mirror.

(Thanks for the Picture tip B!)

Wearing Cross Cultural Clothes

2009-06-10T17:42:00.007+02:00

~the whys and therefores

About me (contextualizing my comments)

My name is Tiffany Jones.

My Australian-born parents are a mixture of Welsh, English, Scottish and Chinese heritage. I have lived in Australia, Japan, Norway, Denmark and Spain. I’ve travelled to thirty countries.

I wear clothing I’m comfortable in and clothing I like. (I know its not the same as everyone else and still, I’m happy to be comfortable rather than fit in.) I’m a believer in discarding clothing that I identify with negative experiences or makes me feel negative towards myself.

Questions on Cross Cultural Exchange (why I wrote the post)

Last week, a friend of mine posed some questions about cross cultural dressing. For example, why decorate the face with Bindi’s if you are not Hindu, why dye your hair a different colour if you obviously have black hair, why try to be whiter if you are naturally dark, why do white girls have cornrows sometimes, and why do some Asian people surgically ‘round’ their eyes to be more Caucasian. Why not just display your own heritage and be happy with that?

These questions are not exactly in the same category as cross cultural fashion, but they do point to an opinion many people hold that consists of ‘what you are, is what you were born as, so stay that way and don’t mix your creativity with others’.

Because our image, the way we present ourselves, the way we dress, adorn and paint ourselves is a creation. We can create sloppily, or with high skill, with little thought, or with great care. Its a creation.

Who Decides What We Wear?

The fashion changes have often been brought about by necessity. The changes of women’s fashion were the greatest during war times when material was in short supply (so skirt hems went up), or because women started working (trousers and clothing with more freedom of movement).

We’re inspired by what we see on TV, in magazines, on the street and by our friends. The images that we see are created by fashion designers from across the globe. We are wearing and buying clothing that other people design, and we choose from these designers. (Designers are typically the first to admit that they are inspired from other culture's interpretation of clothing.)

Denim Jeans

I bought my first pair of jeans when I was 30. I hated jeans because I thought they were ugly, heavy and common. Everyone wears jeans. I changed my mind because at that time in my life I wanted to be common. I wanted to be just like everyone else. And jeans was a way to feel normal.

And ‘normal’ my dear friends, is what we see, mostly on TV. What we see on TV comes from North America. Teenagers in Norway, Australia and here in Spain are highly influenced by American TV and American fashion. What do teen queens wear? Jeans and a cutsie little top.

The story of jeans is a classic example of how fashion travels. The material, Wiki states, originated both from Genoa and India in the 16th century for sailors. In the 1800’s, were being sold in North America for factory workers. In the 1950’s, they were popularised by teenagers in North America. So, who owns the copyright or national identity of jeans? The Genoese, the Dhungaese, or the Americans?

So then, if I go to India, and I wear a Punjabi suit (suitable since Hindu’s and Muslims living in India are typically modest) I am cross culture dressing. Perhaps its acceptable in India, but if I wear it here, in Spain, or in Norway? What do you think?

Do you think ‘ahh, that girl can’t wear that, she’s not Indian?’

But what if I wear the pants only, and a singlet? And a bracelet? Then, am I being a ‘hippie’ or am I cross culture dressing or perhaps you didn’t even notice since the pants are in fashion at the moment.

And what if an Indian person wears jeans? Are they disregarding their culture for that of the Americans?

Accepting or not accepting the fashion of different cultures seems to be based on how often you’ve been exposed to other culture’s ideas of fashion or not.

The pants from the Hill tribes of Thailand are in fashion right now in Spain. Every tenth female is wearing them. Its fashionable and I can tell you right now that most of the females wearing them do not know where they come from. They just like what they look like. They are, in short, cool.

Does it matter?

Really?

Where do shirts come from? Who has the right to wear them?

And if we really want to get picky, can only Italians eat pizza? (God forbid)

Everything is personal and nothing has a blanket answer. There is no right or wrong. There can certainly be ugly and attractive, but we all know that admiration is in the eyes of the admirer.

On a personal note, I love Indian clothing. The colours, the freedom of movement – you can eat what you want and the top is big enough that your stomach doesn’t show its bulge, its elegant and protective from sun and wind and more feminine than any pair of jeans.

I have never felt as comfortable as I do in my favourite blue Punjabi suit.

Other opinions are heartily welcomed.

The Economic Crisis and Inner Withdrawal

2009-05-05T21:35:00.000+02:00

Coming back to Europe, we hear on the television and amongst people we speak with stories about how the economic crisis has affected them.

We were in Australia when the crash announced itself, and have been travelling in South East Asia for the last four months. People there say that there are less tourists than last year.

There has been a slight increase in break ins and robberies around here (Granollers, Spain), and I expect that it’s a common effect of harder economic times across the world.

During this time, there is fear in the air. The media and the people you know are filled with the hardships approaching. It tends to create a reaction of withdrawal from activities within the community and especially from foreigners.

In times of hardship, it’s a time to pool together, not prise ourselves further apart. It’s a time to give, because there is obvious need under our own eyes. What ever we have, let’s forge strong links and share it. By sharing it, it increases. By holding on tight, we concentrate on our lack and our fears and create our own misery.

If we have a view of each other as brothers and sisters, we will help each other.

Somebody stole a mobile phone and a camera and fell to their death as a result while trying to escape.

How many of us have a spare mobile at home? How many of us have a camera, or two, that are not used? Would it make a difference to the people with less, if the richer gave a bit more. Perhaps its even worth giving, to help elevate your own fears of being robbed or discriminated against because you have more than enough.

Sharing increases your wealth. It spreads good will and peace, not just at Christmas, but all through the year.

Holding onto your fears, worrying and playing it ‘safe’ leads to withdrawal and increase in negativity. Let’s not invite more trouble than we already have.

The Appearance of Silver Hairs

2009-05-05T21:31:00.000+02:00

Its shiny and wayward and doesn’t fit into the style I chose, but I love them. I love each one. They can be a symbol of wisdom, of experience, of life.

When I take a positive note to something that has a modern reputation as being a negative, like grey hairs, I think of Nickos and Shirley Valentine and his rapturous description of her birth marks.
So maybe you don’t believe me, but it gets me to penetrate your mind with a new idea of what is. Then perhaps, after accepting that ideas come and go, we can allow what is, without an opinion and without insistence. Insistence seems to always want to sell something, and at this stage, I’m no different.

I’m selling positivity.

I want us to question what the media tells us is negative. If everyone is afraid of grey hair, then they will dye it, and money is exchanged for your fears.

If people embrace the silver strands, standing independently and fiercely upon our heads, we just smile to our mirror, instead of peer and squint and complain internally every morning.

Where’s the good in that?

Silver strands of my life
Breaking into my phantom youth.
Be, I am, and smile at their insistent direction.
Resistant they are, and full of self importance.
Silver strands of my youth
Coming to remind me, of me.

The Fallacy of Freedom

2009-03-09T11:04:00.001+01:00

The Fallacy of Freedom To ‘Do What I Want’

Our forefathers fought, in their way, for freedom. Women have fought for the freedom to wear pants, to smoke cigarettes and the have an education. We have typically fought for the freedom of our country and the freedom to practice our religion.

Freedom has been, in the past, linked to increasing our choices.

However, things have gotten out of hand.

Freedom of Choice ?

Freedom has turned into freedom to buy different types of toilet paper. It’s become a consumer freedom, and it’s the same freedom the developing countries are striving for.

Freedom for many today is the freedom to do and buy what ever you want. And what is it, exactly, that we want?

As young adults, we think that our freedom is our right to do what we want. Our wants are dictated by advertising, hormones, social pressures and our will or ego to stay entertained.

Teenager’s View of Freedom

Teenagers are typically people who are pulled this way or that for no apparent rhyme or reason – this behaviour has been seen, as ‘freedom’, or going with the flow, to be able to do what you want at a whim of suggestion.

If my friend asks me to go out, then I want to be able to go, and if someone offers me a drink, I want to be able to drink it, and if I want to buy the latest mobile phone, I will feel deprived if I can not have it. I’d also like to be able to have sex with whom ever I’d like, and when ever I want, and to wear any clothes I want, and this, for me, is freedom.

Adults are seen as people who must curb their real wants and submit them to ‘conform’ to society, for the sake of family, society and work. Teenagers don’t want to become adults, and there are many adults who look at their lives through the eyes of a teenager. So when there is a chance, on holidays, or if they break up from their partner, or if they lose their work, they resort back to the teenage ideal of freedom.

That is, indulging the senses and being ‘free’ from thinking of the consequences of our actions.

‘Freedom’ is Seeking to Be a Victim

And if we look at it, for just a moment, we can see that this is not freedom. It’s the opposite. The ideal of freedom of western youth is being chained to the ever shifting whims of the ego.

The ego is a victim to concepts about what we ‘should do’, when we are a certain age, or single, or in certain situations. We are so full of our own ideas that we couldn’t see freedom if it hit us in the face.

Instead, we are victims. We can blame the politicians, we can blame advertisers and we can blame our parents, but the fact remains, that we have only ourself to blame.

We must admit, accept, and with grace, embrace our adulthood. That is, as far as I’m concerned, accept responsibility for our individual freedom.

Freedom is not.

Freedom is not following the dictates of a petulant and demanding child. And we know that our ego is nothing more than an attention demanding, bad tempered and selfish creature.

The ego wants entertainment. It’s a veteran illusion seeker. And we think we are this wilful self.

We are not.

Freedom is not about following consumer choices.

Freedom is not the urge to chase a different skirt or another pair of biceps.

Freedom is.

Freedom is freedom of the demands of the self.

Freedom is freedom from the whims of the ego.

Freedom is awaking to the eternal Self within.

Freedom is the realisation that we are, quite literally, one and the same. And putting this truth into action, is one way to express freedom, as it is.

My Possible Avatar

2009-01-04T10:39:00.001+01:00

I loved this one too! :)

Sage Woman

2008-12-22T05:04:00.002+01:00

I'm tiding up on my computer, and came across this lovely bit of pc art created by my friend Pedro.

Thank you Pedro! I'm still considering using it as my avatar... though my shyness is holding me back. :)

Remembering The Buddha

2008-12-16T07:27:00.002+01:00

Before we get caught up with ‘how to’s’ – I think there is something we should remember about Siddhartha.

He had searched and searched, using different techniques, to come to some sort of spiritual awareness. And it wasn’t until he gave up his search, he gave up looking, that his intention, his ego mind split, like the cracked shell of an egg, that he ‘awoke’ and was reborn.

Also, remember, that the Buddha did have a kind of fact sheet. Cause and effect and the way. However, its also important to remember that the Buddha did not suggest the same learning for all individuals. That’s one of the reasons there are so many Buddhist schools, different ways within the way. Each person is going to respond to different stimuli. The Buddha knew this. In his understanding, he gave each person their tools to help them.

How does this help us?

The important thing to remember is that part of us has to die before we can be reborn. Part of us has to go, so that another part can live. The two can not live together. Everyone is different. The tools you use are just that – tools, to be picked up and put down, depending on your needs.

Balance

2008-12-15T04:03:00.001+01:00

Balance.

My destiny, my life plan, my soul’s contract is to discover and implement balance.

I’m a Libran. The scales. Constantly feeling and balancing life’s movement.

As I grew older, I started to try to balance my emotions, and my education, to learn about other subjects in the world, to open my mind, to become more balanced.

I like harmony and peaceful places.

Then I discovered that I couldn’t control my environment, but I could control my responses. So, we enter into balancing the mind.

Then I realised that I had different impulses, coming through the world at me – inspirations, dreams, callings, sudden needs and desires that were on a different level – and I started to learn about the chakra system, and implement its template into my life.

And then I realised, up to this point, why I was searching and insistent to find this point of balance.

My search is your search. Your search is mine. And together, only together, can we move forward.

Tell me what you are searching for.

I’ve stopped my search. I’ve found my centre, my point of balance.

Now, its just about living it. My mind is cleaned, my heart is cleaned – now – to embody, in action, on the physical plane – all of the threads that have come together.

Walking my talk.

Putting money where my mouth is.

Refusing to pass the buck.

Standing still, and realising that I knew it all along, but my search kept me busy, kept me active, kept me from myself.

The centre – the living embodiment of harmony within the human being, is the heart centre. The emotional centre. It is only from here, that we can move in true balance with the world and not hurt, block, harm and destroy the gentle balance of our earth and our relationships.

The heart centre acts as a processing centre for the light above and from the earth below.

A healthy, functioning and balanced energy system, life, relationships allow the two energies to meet within the child – the human.

We are children, most loved, most prized, most hoped for. All of us.

Light from above, and matter from below. Their creation – you and me.

Why do we teach our children lies?

2008-11-07T04:45:00.003+01:00

Why do we teach our children some lies?

I was teaching my son Jett, 9, about months of the year and seasons. A friend complained that what I was saying wasn't really true...

We live in Australia, and we have lived in Norway – so the seasons are varied in both…. So how to teach seasons are different….. there is no rule?

It was a moment of confusion for me, strange as it may seem, because I taught, as a child, that there were four seasons – and the four seasons each had three months to play their part in the full year.

We teach our children little lies because we don’t bother to question what we’ve been told. Not always.. I’m sure you can think of times when you realised a ‘truth’ and it changed how you spoke about and referred to the subject.

That happened to me with sunsets. Once I realised that it wasn’t the sunset that created the beautiful light, but actually, the earth turning… I thought, well, why don’t we say ‘earth turns’ instead of ‘sun sets’…. Its just a reminder that we think we are the centre of the universe.. ego centric.. earthcentric… and nothing could be further than the truth….

So – we tell little fibs because society accepts them as ‘truths’ – and if I keep pointing out to people that it’s the earth turning, not the sun setting.. then they will be irritated with my pedantic nature and probably not want to be in my company for long…

So – we tell them for society’s sake…

And the months of the year?

English heritage told us what the four seasons were; April as the cruellest month and June brides are part of our (Australian) understanding of life… but its not the truth..

When we were in the Northern Territory, we found out that the traditional caretakers of the land acknowledged 6 seasons, depending on the cycle of life around them- including rain fall and the flowering of plants. It’s a bit more realistic to follow these patterns, if we were close to nature. But today, to say to someone, I will meet you at the first big rain, when the giant figs are bursting with flower doesn’t seem quite as sane as September the 4th at 4pm.

We teach our kids lies cause some lies are convenient and make our life a bit easier. I’m not saying it’s the right way to go for the future.. we need to ‘challenge everything’ – as the saying goes, and keep our feet rooted firmly in a nice balance of truth and humour… what say you?

On Being Human is Now On Being One With Life

2008-11-06T05:22:00.002+01:00

Hi everyone!
Hello Tiffany!

Hello

So - what happened in October?
It was my birthday - I turned 37....

I feel fantastic - and, happily, magically and most importantly - I've embraced my life...

in some way, this is what I wanted, this year, without knowing it.. I've been away from my 'normal life' for a year... to take a year to be me - to figure out what it is that I'm suppose to do - to learn - instead of teach... and bang...

I took a step off the ledge... and now - I'm on the other side ---

of belief of faith of trust of life

The world is new - and yes, a new day is here....

Love, life, flow, tao, love, spirit, oneness, truth, beauty, love, here, now, life, cells, light, bright, ever, truth, love, god, creator, source, all, one, being....

Love to you all -

Tiffany

Quieting the Mind

2008-10-07T07:54:00.002+02:00

Quieting the Mind

The first thing I notice, is that I can see shadow. There is a flicker of light that I hadn’t noticed before.

Turning off the talk inside of your head, is like turning off a TV that is just too loud and too insistent. The immediate quiet is such a relief.

As you practice, it gets easier and easier. Then, you can just become aware of the noise (the chatterbox), and switch it off. And then,

you notice what you didn’t see before. Colour, shades, light and detail.

you feel what you didn’t feel before. Calm, relaxed, the shoulder’s release, the settling in the body.

you hear what you didn’t before. The birds, the cars outside, the people in the house, maybe even your own heart beat.

you are open, in a way you weren’t before. To other’s needs, to a wider perspective, to another point of view, to your self.

Guidelines Thus Far

2008-10-01T02:42:00.000+02:00

Guidelines Thus Far

Self Knowledge

Explore

Open Mind

Open Heart

Acceptance

Love – of self, of others, Love – of all

Non judgement

Discipline

Kindness

Reality Shift

2008-09-30T03:42:00.000+02:00

I had my clothes on, in the pool. I was underwater – my body moving in slow motion – and there was water all around – making everything slow.

I was in another reality.

In one moment, there was a shift, and anything was possible.

I was walking beside the pool, and without warning, and unexpected, my sister’s hands shoved me from the side. I don’t remember the fall. I am only, suddenly, strangely, under water – and I can see the bright green of my cardigan – and I see myself, slow and submerged – under water, with my clothes on.

In itself, it was liberating. A moment to be savoured. They marvelled at my good humour when I surfaced. I wanted to go under again, but I could see that might be construed at madness. My good humour was already making people wary of me.

The paradigm shift. The reality, existing, beside the every day. Just one shove, one push, and it all changed. It was that easy.

Why do boys smell, and should we throw rocks at them?

2008-09-29T04:17:00.000+02:00

Why do boys smell, and should we throw rocks at them?
Time for complaints.

(absolutely NOT personal and any boy spoken about that reminds you of anyone you might know, is totally a fabrication of your own mind. Characters in this list of complaints are totally fictitious)

Why do they check out other girls when you are walking down the street? Just, why??
Its rude to the girl they are with. Its an insult and I hate it if I guy checks me out when he’s with his girlfriend.

Why do they try to make a joke about our period? Are they just plain stupid?

Why do they say ‘I like girls who don’t wear make-up’, and then you find out that their ex’s DID wear make up, just that they did it so it LOOKS like they don’t – and the dumb guy believes it… why are guys dumb in stuff like this? Why does it make girls so mad?

Why do they not shower?

Why do they say small lies to get out of trouble like little kids?

Why, why why?

Why do they smile and pretend that will make it better?

Why do men exist?

Why do we want to be with them?

Why are there not more Lesbians?

Why do they act selfishly with no regard for other people?

Why do they not take hints?

Why do they fulfil their own needs and THEN the needs of the children?

Why do I care?

Honestly, I do not want to read the mars and venus book – I do not want a solution – I just want to complain. It makes me feel better, for just a moment within a moment.

Happiness - the destroyer of creativity?

2008-09-10T09:26:00.000+02:00

Its occurred to me that when I’m at my happiest, I feel the least need to express how I feel.
Is this universal?

Is all the writing, art and expression of the world just some clawing and screaming from the sad and sorry lot of us who are dissatisfied?

If Buddha was born Buddha, then he wouldn’t have gone searching for something else.. He would have just sat and smiled and that would have been that.

If Hitler was happy, he’d have just stayed home…

If I was already a tolerant and loving and happy person, I wouldn’t have studied and searched out yoga and meditation and Taoism and philosophy and ‘god’. I would have already been happy with what I was doing, and left it all alone for someone else.

Are there examples of happy people, who are not reformed unhappy people, expressing themselves?

The self help books – they are all like reformed smokers books… Reformed smokers are the biggest enemies of smokers. They HATE other smokers… especially in those early months of giving up… And they will tell everyone the pitfalls of smoking… and all of these people (including me) write and write and write and have a lot to say.

So the self help books, and people in the early days of their reformed characters, are the loudest and most annoying and insisting of speakers on how to be ‘helped’. But are they happy, actually?

When I’m my most calm. When I’m my most happy. When I’m my most ‘at one’ with myself and the world – then… there is just that. And I don’t want to say anything.

The Cache Syndrome

2008-08-09T09:13:00.001+02:00

The Cache Syndrome

Humans suffer from what I would term the ‘cache syndrome’.

In effect, it means that ideas that have been formed in the past become lodged in the mind. These ideas seem to be coming from an indisputable main memory. However, the ideas are only coming from the cache. A temporary location to store ideas that have happened in the past that will help us to live in the future.

The problem arises when we forget to occasionally clear the cache and we accept the formed ideas as concrete reality.

An example of the Cache Syndrome
When Lisa was a little girl, her mother told her that short hair suited her best. (The mother said this because she had four daughters and she didn’t want to have the trouble of maintaining four manes of hair every morning and night, not to mention her own)
Lisa grew up with the idea that short hair suited her best. This idea went into her cache. And there it stayed, without review, until she was 35 years old. A friend of Lisa commented that she’d never seen her with long hair. As Lisa began to say ‘but I look so much better with short hair’ it occurred to her that she, in fact, didn’t know how she looked with long hair, so she wasn’t sure.
This was the beginning of Lisa emptying the cache of information tagged ‘Lisa looks better with short hair’.

The cache syndrome effects all of us on some level or another. Sometimes for quite insignificant ideas, and sometimes for ones that can hurt us for a life time.

Cache’s worth clearing
Any part of your life that brings you unhappiness, disappointment, frustration or anger – its worth taking a look at the ideas surrounding your hurt.

What do you expect from your relationships? – do you still believe what you believed before? Has your ideas changed? And why?
What does it mean to be successful?
How much do you need to ‘own’ before you are ‘happy’?
When is ‘family’ time?
Children need indulgence, not independence. What’s your ideas? Where do they come from? Has life changed you since you were a teenager, or do you still hold the same beliefs your parents gave you? Is it time to review them?

Good luck in your discovery.

An Evening Prayer

2008-08-08T13:43:00.000+02:00

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A prayer for closing.

Reflection and Repose

The day has been and gone
And left its kiss upon my skin.

I take this moment to pause
And consider the words of the morning.

I am. You are. We are.
The All. The Creator. The One.

I discovered you in the dappled light.
I lived your essence in my breath.
I gave thanks for the earth’s gifts.
I took another step on my journey.

I’ve cared for my body.
I’ve lived the interchange of opposites
in my breath and with my senses.
Thank you for all that I have.

In giving thanks I salute your gift of life.

Let my actions that were given with love
Spread like wild flowers upon a field.

Let me forgive my lapses,
And accept my humanity.

Love is the language of a positive life.
Let me contemplate my action.

Let me speak, act and think with love,
Especially to myself.

I am. You are. We are.
The All. The Creator. The One.

A Prayer for Living

2008-08-07T13:21:00.001+02:00

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The Morning Prayer

It is.

I am. You are. We are.
The All. The Creator. The One.

In its expression of itself, it creates me.
In my expression of myself, I express it.

Please guide me –
To discover you in me,
To live through you at every moment,
To live in thankfulness for my life,
To fulfill my life’s potential.

Thank you for my body.
Thank you for my breath.
Thank you for my sense.
Thank you for all that I have.
In giving thanks I salute your gift of life.

Let me remember that my actions reverb.
Let me choose actions that will enhance life.

Love is the language of positive life.
Let me speak, act and think with love.

I am. You are. We are.
The All. The Creator. The One.

The Sacred Parent's Room

2008-08-02T08:38:00.001+02:00

I remember never stepping foot into my parent’s bedroom. It was a sacred and off limits place. I didn’t even allow my imagination to try to penetrate the mystery of its interior.

The incident
Ryan, a little friend of my son stopped by today. He asked for a mirror, so he could see himself with a funny hat on his head. My mum sent him into her bedroom, the closest room. He looked into the room, but didn’t step any closer. His face showed a mixture of curiosity and reluctance to step over privacy boundaries.
I said, ‘In you go, its ok.’ And he walked through the threshold of the sacred place.
Watching him threw me back in time. I haven’t seen a child hesitate at a bedroom door for a long time.

What happened to the sacredness of the parent’s bedroom, and why was it presented to me as sacred in the first place?
From my perspective, I’m a bit of a communal dweller, so all spaces are for exploration in my house. You may keep a draw or a box to yourself – not for all eyes, but the rest of our ‘things’ are the use of the entire family – to any reasonable extent. In my previous house, we had only one bedroom, and Jett used to sleep there. I used to sleep in the lounge/dining room, so there was no effort at sacredness. Anything I wanted to keep from Jett, that was of an adult nature, was kept aside.
So, perhaps, houses with less space could contribute to an impracticable application of sacredness.
But what about my mother? The same room I felt incapable of entering, my son Jett has no trouble viewing her space as his space. And she says nothing to stop him.
I don’t know why the parent’s room was off limits before. Perhaps there were more boundaries than there are now?

Entering The Room
There were two reasons when I was allowed to enter the inner sanctum. That was when I was sick and needed something for my throat, and the other time, wasn’t actually me, but my brother. I was on the outside looking in. My mother, it seemed to me at the time, thrashed him on the bed (for setting fire to the cupboard). She says, in her own defense, that she only hit him a couple of times and she was beside herself so wasn’t accountable.

So the parent’s room became a refuge for the sick and the wicked.

Results of the polls for July 2008

2008-07-20T12:49:00.001+02:00

If a person is untidy with their personal belongings, do you think they are unorganised with other things as well?

45% answered sometimes.
27% answered yes.
27% answered no.

11 people answered.

If a person is, by your standard, 'over weight', does this indicate, to you, a corresponding adjective to their personality? (Such as, Homer Simpson, or Chief Wiggim).

60% answered no.
40% answered yes.
10 people answered.

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