Insomnia Induced Insanity

2012? Already?

2012-02-29T06:19:00.000+00:00

Oh wow, have I negelected this little baby of mine.

Never did end up on the cruise ship. Still working. And studying. And acting.

No new adventures to report, which is just sad.

Anchors Aweigh

2011-08-29T14:44:00.000+00:00

I can't believe I haven't posted in over a year! That's mental and yet totally understandable. Since moving back to South Africa, life has taken on a certain pattern that can be seen as a slump.
I've got an office job that I'm starting to hate. I work, I got home, I have a few drinks and watch tv before going to sleep.

That's it.

Next week I turn 27. And it scared me. What the hell was I doing wasting my 20s away in an office when I should be seeing the world?

So I've made a very big decision - I've decided to go work on a cruise ship. Hopefully forever.

So far, the list of requirements is scary. I'm going to have to lose half my office sponsored body weight. So I've moved the healthwalker into the tv room and plan to start walking. I may have to quit drinking too...hmmm.

In the meantime, I've been tentatively accepted to study through the University of London! So i'm going for the impossible - earn a degree while working 12 hour days trapped on a tin boat in the middle of the ocean. I can totally do it.

First challenge - let's see how long i can keep this new job. My boss is a Swiss nutcase!

With Enough Red Bull...

2010-02-09T19:32:00.000+00:00

I can get my work done and still pull through tomorrow without sleeping.

Yeah, it's been a while, but blogger is blocked at work and home internet is just not happening.

I somehow talked myself into a second job which is physically straining and a general pain if it wasn't for the money, free Red Bull and unlimited internet.

I'm also studying this year - as soon as my course material comes through.

All this while working a very demanding full time job that eats my brain and my life.

To be honest, I miss blogging, but my life is SA isn't nearly as interesting as my exploits in London, so I'm working my ass off to get back there. Recession? What recession?

In the meantime, I'll try not to die of boredom.

Me, Again

2009-11-12T17:46:00.000+00:00

I know I haven't blogged here in forever, but internet access is few and far between.

But I'm still alive and still not sleeping.

New hobby! I found LiveJournal and have been sucked into fandom and the writing of fiction.

Wish me luck!

Watchmen Soundtrack

2009-02-16T08:32:00.001+00:00

Open letter to Suits in Media Companies

2009-02-02T06:09:00.002+00:00

Dear suits at Warner and Viacom

Fuck you very much in the ear for removing my favourite music videos from youtube.

Not everyone in the world has the luxury of owning cable or the accessibilty to iTunes.

I hope you get throttled by your ties.

Insano.

Cushiness...

2009-01-29T08:07:00.003+00:00

Since coming back from the UK, my ephedrine connection has been lost. Which means I'm not hyper all day anymore.

Which is ok, as my job isn't as insane as it was in London. I work normal hours, behind a computer, on a cushy office chair with numerous smoke breaks. After sic months, my system has learnt to deal with this and I now get some sleep.

Well, not really sleep. More like a snooze with intense dreams as my brain hasn't yet figured out how to shut down when I close my eyes. Also - not having internet at home, means that I can't surf until the sun rises - which i'll totally do.

Its a bit of a double edged sword really - stay up all night only to crash at 3pm at my desk or go to bed at a reasonable hour and still crash at my desk by 3pm.

Maybe its because I'm bored. Bored stupid! and my brain is trying to be proactive in keeping me on my toes until I'm intellectually stimulated again.

Who knows?

All I know is that at this moment, sitting at my desk, watching my inbox fill up really quickly, I would rather be at home sleeping on my couch with my cat on my stomach.

Fanatical

2009-01-22T06:57:00.002+00:00

*dusts off blog*

Hello again old friend. Sorry for the temporary abandonment - life got in the way.

I've been back in SA for exactly 6 months and 6 days and so far, I've chalked up:
1 x job
1 x car
1 x flat (seeking flatmate)
1 x new hobby
1 x new step dad
1 x brother in law

Not bad for six months work.

So yeah - My mom and my sister have decided to walk down the aisle - to thier respective betrothed. Which means 2009 is the year of veils and bad DJs, hen parties, dress fittings and venue hunting.
Personally - I just want to show up and get drunk. Possibly laid, too.

But nooooo.... being the big sister / oldest daughter means I'm pulled strapped into the rollercoaster kicking and screaming all under the guise of being 'Head Bridesmaid / Maid of Honour'. WTF?

What do you have against weddings? I hear you ask.
Well, nothing, really. I've been attending and organising weddings since I could walk, and I generally have no issue with them. Especially if the reception has an open bar.
But lately, I've become extrememly disallusioned about the whole holy matrimony concept. Its a fucking joke. And I don't see the point in losing your mind trying to arrange the perfect wedding only to spend half that in a few years trying to undo the knot you tied while under the influence of regular shagging.

I've got a bonfire ready - bring on the big white dresses. I wanna see 'em burn.

Back Online

2008-10-09T13:09:00.000+00:00

EGHADS!

I just saw now that I haven't posted since I left the UK.

I plead no interwebz access!!!
Until now.

So a quick recap since July.

Had to come back to SA since my visa expired.
Currently sleeping on my mom's Couch of Doom!
Am now saving up to go back as a student - wish me luck!

Got a permanent job and as of today, am proud owner of a little Opel Corsa Lite!

Will be updating more often from now on.

Chain and ball...

2008-07-05T22:43:00.001+00:00

Dear Mr Brown,

Fuck you and your beauracratic, immigrant red tape in the ear.

Insano

Universally Screwed

2008-06-26T16:19:00.002+00:00

Dear Universe,

Firstly, than you for letting me exist. I like existing. Being cognisent of my existance and being able to enjoy the simple things you provide in the hours I spend in your company.
Like chocolate, Haagen Das, good lager (Peroni and Red Stripe come to mind), music, sunshine, thunderstorms and of course, family.

I do, however, have a small complaint to lodge with you. While I enjoy the simpler things you provide, I am, afterall, human and bein that, have dreams and aspirations and even, on a good day, hope and optimism.

So, then, why, I have to ask, do you instill those things in me and then make it hard as fuck to reach them?
It's like putting a huge 70% off sale sign in the window, only to find that none of the shoes fit and all the clothes are pink. Not fucking fair, is it?

I've been really good, sending out positive karma into your world and what do I get in return?
Sucky ass jobs that pay nothing, continuous let downs and disappointment.

In truth Universe, you have decidely pissed me off. I've been working so fucking hard and all I keep getting is a big Fuck You in return.

This can't continue. Is your ultimate plan for me to end up spending a year on my mom's couch getting grossly fat, marrying some loser and popping out five kids then dying of a anti-depressant overdose? I mean, really. I have a sense of humour, but that just isn't funny. Like Rob Schieder movies - not funny at all.

So here's my offer to you, ruler of destinies and lives. In exchange for givin me a fucking well deserved break, I will never, ever bitch when I have to deal with stupid people. In fact, I will love everyone in the world and never think ill of anyone, no matter how much of a moron they truly are.
I will also sell you the soul of my first born. You can have my cat's soul too.

Eagerly awaiting your reply, in the form of something good finally happening.

Thank you,

Insano.

The Fratellis - Mistress Mabel

2008-06-15T23:15:00.005+00:00

You all know I'm a huge Fratellis fan, so imagine my delight at thier new album!! Althoug, in this new video of thiers, Jon Fratelli looks an awful lot like early Jack White...hmmm

Burn, Time, Burn

2008-06-15T22:46:00.002+00:00

As Muse sang, time is running out.

I have two weeks.

in which, I have to sell my soul to a rich relative, relocate, pack, move and basically start from scratch.

In a way, I hate that I can't get an EU passport. Really hate it. Makes life difficult for myself.
Maybe, if I throw myself at Gordon Browns feet and plead my sorry ass case to him and convince him that without my EU passport, the world would be a much more pathetic place, he might heed and take pity on me before promptly deporting my ass back to SA.

On the bright side. Had an awesome dream last night: Gerard Way, Jensen Ackles 'n me. nuff said.

And then the sun came up...

2008-06-11T04:56:00.002+00:00

Went to the ULU last night to watch Seether.
Glad I didn't have to pay for my tickets cos the show kind of sucked ass. All thier songs sound the same! You can practically hear the record label twisting the knobs on thier creativity. Or maybe the lifestyle has killed thier run?

I haven't slept for 48 hours now.

But the last 12 haven't been my fault.
My bed partner snores. Loudly. And annoyingly and no amount of prodding or shushing is working. And I don't have a living room couch to escape the noise to. Living with other people sucks!

Wanted:
1 bedroom flat with small patio/roof terrace.
£80 pw all bills included.
No psycho neigbours.

Keep dreaming!

Boned..

2008-05-28T00:46:00.002+00:00

So I'm a freak of nature.
I've decided, at least.

it's 1:45am and I'm still up.

And it's raining.

I like rain. Not the pissy types that lasts weeks. More of the 'wham-bam-lightening-bolt-up-yo-ass' type of storms. You know, horror movie storms. They fucking rock!

Just thought I'd throw it out there.

I'm currently watching season 3 of Bones.

Yes, I'm that much of a geek.

The Art of Losing Your Mind

2008-05-26T09:28:00.000+00:00

Here's a little experiment.

what happens when you combine the following factors?

Ephedrine
Insomnia
Work deadline
vodka
redbull
friends
bank holiday
and
erm...red wine

A lot of shit and you can't remember why.

I had been up since Friday.
Literally.
No sleep.

I'm working on a really tight deadline and have yet to pull a miracle from my ass.

My mates invited over to a little house party type thing yesterday. I brought my computer along as I have sooooo much work to do.
When I got here, one was already drunk. The other drunk on lurve (love).
I set everything up, poured myself a vodka and rb and got to work, while talking shit and generally hanging out.

I fell asleep at my computer. At least that's where I think I fell asleep.

I woke up in a bed and had no idea why/how I got there, why my mate was pissed at the world in general and feel as though I should be apologising for something.

All I know for sure is that I had a really bad fuckng nightmare. One of those surround sound, technicolour, goes on forever and I just might die kind of nightmares. Every part of me hurts and I can't explain it.

Was it athe lack of sleep? Exhaustion? Stress? Alcohol?

I can't be sure.
I'm not sure of anything at the moment.

All I know is that I'm shaking.

And I'm not even cold.

Somebody, pass the meds...

2008-05-19T11:51:00.002+00:00

I've never been one for the easy life. Not that I know of. I get bored, very quickly.

But the past few weeks have been just a bit too much excitement for me. I can feel it in my bones. I'm tired. Very very tired. Like, badly in need of a beach and cocktail kind of tired.

Alas, my calendar will not be open until at least 2025.

I've been kept really busy with one website that I review for here in the UK. Its a spur of the moment kind of reviewing. For example:

Last Tuesday, I had work all day, then zipped off to an exclusive launch party where I met many lovely people. One of them being Ms Spain. She doles out the tickets of gold to me. She mentioned having tickets for a Vampire Weekend show that night.
My face lit up - oh yes please!
i got the tickets, hauled ass over to Electric Ballroom and watched the riveting gig.
But I was alone. My plus one meaning absolutely nothing as all my mates have set routines and couldn't break it for an impulsive break to a show.
At least there was free beer.
The week before, I had gone to The Wombats at the Brixton Academy, Give It A Name Fest 08 at Earls Court, Melody Gardot at Bush Hall, and Flykiller at 229. And then there's the singles to review too.
Yep, its a full time thing.

But my week didn't end there.

I got an email from a very pissed friend who called me "a self absorbed loose cannon".
Now, I can take being called a loose cannon. Its not the first time. But self absorbed? Ok, maybe. Sure. A little.
So I took the line and started my own brand - Loose Cannon UK.

While I'm doing the branding for that, there's that little niggly thing called Strung Out that needs planning (well, its all planned, only the posters need to go up). There's negotiations for other gigs going on. Lots of networking. Lots of madness.

And then there's this 56 day tour of Europe I'm in the middle of putting together. I have 10 days to confirm it all.

And the cherry on my preverbial pie - I've discovered that my little sister is depressed. Badly depressed.
The only problem, is people in South Africa view depression as a self indulgent excuse to laziness. My father, unfortunately is one of those people.
My little sister has every reason to have depression. She's been through so much in her 17 years, I'm not surprised. My dad believes that therapy is a 'wham, bam, you're cured' kind of deal. He has no idea.

And this more than anything bothers me. Stresses me out! I wish I was back home just so that I can help her. My mom tries, my other sister just gets frustrated. I feel helpless. And it's the last thing I need right now. I'm already feeling the pull of the drain.

Oh, yeah, and I work in a full time job that mentally and emotionally drains me of my sanity.

Meds. Now. Please??

Sun is Shining...

2008-05-12T08:34:00.001+00:00

The weather has been awesome for the past two weeks.

So shiny and bright and hot that all you want to do is break out yoru reggae collection and chill out in the park with a six-pack.
I spent yesterday doing exactly that, except without the reggae music -it played in my head though.

I have a feeling that this is going to be an awesome summer. I'm gettin optimistic right here and now. Wonder how long I'll be able to keep it up for?

Shit storm while the sun shines...

2008-05-11T19:28:00.003+00:00

Today was a perfect day. Like Lou Reed perfect.
the sun shone wihout a cloud in the sky and a pleasant breeze throughout.

And I spent it in the park with a few good mates of mine. I dare you to compete with that! A few Heinekens, strawberries and custard later and the perfect day was done. Now back to the evils of reality!

Work, work, and did I mention work?????

I'm back...sort of

2008-05-09T06:59:00.002+00:00

I know my updating has been sparse lately, but I have a very good reason.

I'm fucking busy.

I've decided to grab the proverbial career bull by teh horns and wrestle my career out of it by myself.
Sure there isn't the comfort of steady pay, cushy chairs, free weekends and free coffee.
But at the same time I don't have to listen to colleagues bitch about thier stupid offspring, I work with people who actually know who Offspring is, no staff meetings, no performance reviews and no corporate wear.

Sure I'll still be serving pints as the back up income, but I'm not going to wait around for someone to hand me my dream job. I'm tenatious that way.

Now, between reviewing gigs for Seatwave.com and cross posting them on WickedRock, I'm also trawling MySpace for venues to book my two month tour of Europe with two amazing bands.
I'm not going to lie - its fucking intimidating. But, dude, I'm from Jo'burg. It takes more than a continent filled with morons to intimidate me.

Now if you need me I'll be over here reading smut on LJ working hard at finding bookings.

I Lost My Specs...

2008-04-28T08:50:00.001+00:00

We Are Scientists
Shepards Bush Empire
24-4-2008

I know its the Monday after the show, but I've just stopped bouncing around from excess energy produced at the gig.

By the time we arrived at the Empire, my mates and I encountered teeming droves of teenies. We gulped nervously. Why all the teenies? Isn't it cool anymore for 20-somethings to go gigging? I missed that memo.
We took our places in the pit - second row from the barrier - and waited.

The opening acts were dull - to say the least. I didn't catch thier names as they didn't give them. There was a moment when Keith (Murray of WAS) joined them onstage for a song.

The lights went out and suddenly, the (now) duo hit the stage, opening with Brain Thrust Mastery's Ghouls. The Empire erupted! Swaggering through hits 'Nobody Move', 'The Scene Is Dead' and 'Inaction' just to remind us why we loved them to begin with, before injecting newbies such as 'Lets See It', 'Chic Lit' and leading single 'After Hours'.

Keith then took an ill judged jump off the stage towards the barrier during 'Tonight' to do the whole 'greet the fans' thing. Little did he know a close aquaintance of mine was a bottle of wine down and took it upon herself to grab and squeeze his ass. He had no choice but to laugh it off and quickly retreat back to the stage before the girls kidnapped him and they couldn't rip through 'Dinosaur', 'Lousy Reputation', 'Its a Hit'.

All the time, the crowd needed no prompting. Arms in the air, clapping madly away with voices raised in anthemic union. Shu!
Encore rounded off the night with 'Lethal Enforcer', 'Worth The Wait' and 'Great Escape' (which seemed to be written purely for this gig).

As good as thier albums are, seeing these boys live is a must! Smooth, professional, booming, anthemic (i like that word), swaggering and exhilerating!

Good job

Elastic is your friend

2008-04-21T18:05:00.002+00:00

I never thought I'd say this, but,
Fuck Me! I need to lose some weight.

I didn't realise it before.

tonight, that is.

I was going through my small collection of clothes in preperation for a date I'm going on...yes, a date. But nothing fit! My old black slacks (of which I have 3 pairs) and I didn't want to wear a dress. So I threw on my old trusted jeans. Now I'm heading out the door, plans brewing for my 'look good for summer' plan.

so far i've come up with:

No more pizza.
No more beer (only vodka and cranberry juice)
No more kebab runs (haven't done one in a while anyway)
No more eating anything at all. (ok, maybe i'm overreacting with this one)
Use those trainers I bought. About three months ago.
Get more exercise (athletic sex is accpetable)

Any other ideas???

Growing Pains...

2008-04-20T20:40:00.002+00:00

I'm a fan of 'coming-of-age' sitcoms...Friends, How I met your mother, The Class etc etc etc...

My problem is, no one has made a sitcom about someone in my position. In all fairness, my sister has started to write a sitcom about my moving over, but I still feel like an idiot when I watch these shows...albeit I do liek a good sitcom.

Only...
I never went to varsity.
I haven't had a lot of boyfriends
I'm not neurotic
I'm not a size 2 either.

My mates aren't all hotties.
niether are they sub human stereotypes.

I'm not a stereotype either.

Maybe if I was, things would be easier...

Cross country flight, take me home...

2008-04-18T02:18:00.002+00:00

I got home around 1:30am.
1 bottle red down.
spent 15 minutes looking at photos from my last vaca home.

fuck me, but I miss everyone back home. Every single person I know (except my dad's wife). I especially miss my sisters, my mom and my mates - one of whom is in the US. I feel so alone. But, according to Facebook, I actually have friends here.

guess I should stop the drinking at all hours and get some sleep.

there are other schools of thought...

The Reason I've Been Busy...

2008-04-17T09:46:00.002+00:00