Inspirational Spark: Stories of Hope

6 Ways To Keep Going When Your Goal Seems Out Of Reach

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Mon, 01 Oct 2012 08:05:00 +0000

When you first get the big idea, you're excited. Maybe you're going to finally run that marathon, or write the Great American Novel, or spend the summer in France.

Yay you! That excitement gets you through the early phase, whether it's running a couple miles a day, creating a detailed plot outline, or putting yourself on a strict budget and researching house-sitting opportunities in Paris.

But somewhere around the time you can't seem to run ten miles without stopping, or you're struggling with chapter seven, or you've spent so many nights home watching free shows on the Internet and eating Tuna Surprise you think you might poke your eyes out with a fork, you start having second thoughts.

You wonder if it wouldn't be easier to give up your big idea and go back to your old life. One where your knees don't hurt, you don't care that your novel's characters aren't doing anything interesting, and you can afford to go out for dinner and a movie.

How do you keep going when your goal seems as far off as another universe?

You've hit what everyone hits – the motivation drain of the middle.

Beginnings and endings are where the energy is. When you start something new you're pumped up, excited to get going. All the things you need to do to make your goal happen are new, and you take them on with joy and enthusiasm.

Endings have their own energy surges. You're close to the finish line and can practically feel the relief at being done, plus the pride and happiness of getting the thing you've been aiming for all that time.

Middles are tough. They're where your enthusiasm flags, and you may be tired and lose sight of why you went after your big idea in the first place. The middle is where most people give up.

You don't have to. You just need to a) know you'll hit a slowdown, and b) give yourself strategies to get through it.

Here are six you can use to keep going when your goal seems out of reach:

1. Imagine yourself achieving your goal using all the senses. Smell the cool morning air the day of the marathon; feel your strong, toned muscles; picture yourself crossing the finish line; hear your friends and family cheering from the sidelines; taste the celebratory meal you'll have after. Visualization works.

2. Remind yourself daily of the why of your goal. How will you or your life be better after you've achieved it? Maybe you'll be healthier, more disciplined, a published author, or fluent in French – whatever the benefits are, keep them at the front of your mind.

3. Get support, especially from those who've done what you're attempting. Join a runners or writers group, or get a friend to keep you accountable. Interview someone who's lived in a foreign country and offer to send her a small gift for her time. Share your doubts and ask for advice or help.

4. Act as if you haven't lost momentum. Sure, you're cranky or tired, so fake it. Keep going anyway, knowing that each step gets you closer, even if it's hard or doesn't seem to be moving you forward. The bonus? Discipline is great for self-esteem. Taking on something big and making it happen is huge, and when your next big idea comes along you'll have this success to look back on.

5. Take a day off. Rest, goof around, refresh and reenergize, and don't worry about your goal. One day won't slow you down, and it'll let you restart tomorrow with better energy and clearer perspective.

6. Celebrate milestones along the way. You shouldn't have to wait until the very end for the big payoff, so build in mini-achievements and reward yourself when you hit them. Make a decadent dinner, buy that new book you've been wanting, or spend a night in that sweet B&B one town over.

Remember – middles are hard for everyone, so keep going. You can do this. Now get out there and be awesome!

(As always, hit the share button if you found something useful.)

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Oh, and one more thing – what tips do you have for staying motivated? Let us know in the comments!

DEONNE KAHLER writes at Life on the High Wire. She's also mom to Sam the Wonder Pup and is obsessed with road tripping, national parks, and quirk.

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How To Change Your Life Via Surprise

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Changing your life requires the factor change right? And it is often nice knowing the change and expecting the results before hand, be in relationships, places, habits for the most part. But the surprise factor beats conformity by a huge margin, now doesn't it?

Expecting change to enter through the front door, we are just narrowing our focus, and forgetting to look on the periphery. And should we seek for change that improves us, we are better off realizing that it is pertaining surprise- something new, unfamiliar, unexpected by far.

The power of surprise in changing your life

We all say we love surprises. BS. We hate them. Granted, we love the ones appearing gradually, preparing us; we love the sweet surprises, where everything is going according to plan, in the linear pattern of conformity, only slightly rearranged. But the moment something out of the comfort zone emerges, it's all a blur afterwards.

And realizing that what is hard to bear now, may in turn be something really remarkable, there is a chance we can see surprises as something more appealing after all. You see, seeking for the WHY and the opportunity in every new thing around the corner, we may as well discover something.

Surprises may take credit in changing your life for the better only if looked retrospectively. Connecting the dots now really does seem like something impossible to do. But after a while, when things take some direction in which to develop, it all makes sense.

For the less dogmatic, it's a no-brainer really. Things happen, we react to them, what comes on the other end is a blessing. However, there are some that are tightly holding the grip on conformity, not letting it go even for an instance.

Opening for the change by letting be surprised

There are many people I know dreading change. To rearrange things, be that in habits, or anything else, is a thing they are terrible at. Worse yet, they are no better at how they react on change inflicted upon them; on surprises, in short.

And realizing that being open for surprises, allowing them to happen, is rather a good thing, everything changes.

Granted, they may not turn to result for the better, but still. Change happens not only in results and outcome. The finality isn't the way we see it. It's rather way further than the unilateral image.

We change, learn, even improve, from things that are not necessary to stick. Sometimes even the passing surprises open us for a myriad of opportunities. They may even reshape a segment of our persona, who knows.

Not letting be surprised equals wanting to stay the same. Or even to reflect change, but only according to present belief systems. And if I'm to choose between circumstances opening new and broader views, and a linear, less dynamic approach towards change, I would say that the first has a lot more going on for me. It forms as good a place to start as any when wanting to learn something new about your capabilities, your opportunities, other options.

Changing your life by reacting rather than acting

Allowing change as a pertaining part of surprises, we are also changing in the way in which we conduct actions. We are no longer acting constantly, but rather reacting more and more. Things happen – we react to them, with them. It's similar to Taoism in its purest form. The philosophical school of thought, that is.

And reacting rather than constantly acting, we may as well find new opportunities. Embracing the change and growing alongside with it, the most natural outcome is adapting to it, thus savoring the most out of what is given.

Playing by the rules of what happens, not necessarily has to mean defeat, neither does have to mean compliance. It can, rather, mean growth. In any way imaginable, that is.

Being open for change, more often than not in the sense of extrovert resemblance and mainly of a sudden appearance (read surprise), we are, in fact, letting opportunities happen, rather than be artificially created. And who are we to argue what's better, if we never had the chance to experience, and judge afterwards… This way, we are letting the biased outlook, for the most part.

Reacting rather than constantly acting implies that, to a certain extent, our understanding of things is not as narrow as it was the day before. It's rather broader, in the sense of being able to see pass what's dictated by things we commonly care about, and see a vision of ourselves quite larger than what we are used to.

It's seeing us for what may we become if left to explore, as opposed to what we are and what we will be like if we stay on only one linear course.

Slavko Desik is writer and editor at Lifestyle Updated, a blog about improving one's lifestyle and enjoying life full time. He also writes about subjects closely connected with self-improvement and personal growth.

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Friday Photos and an Adoption!

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

All was quiet today, a beautiful clear day.

Some great news as little Butterfly, a 2 1/2 year old Morab filly, was happily adopted to a new home today. Yay for Butterfly!

She is such a cute little girl!

Butterfly will move to her new home on Sunday. Butterfly arrived at Shiloh at 6 weeks of age...

Big Pasture at breakfast...

Big Pasture...

Wandering Burros sharing hay with Lucky Run in the Medical Units...

There goes little Florecita...

She was looking for her mom, Mamacita...

Wanderering BFFs Yep and Scrappy...

Wanderer Latigo...

- Posted by Jill Curtis from Shiloh Ranch

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Illustrated Equestrian Gifts with a Touch of Whimsy (and a giveaway!)

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sat, 29 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

My in-laws recently moved their business to a new office space in a grand old mansion of a house, complete with ornate furniture and decorations straight out of the early 1900′s. But what I really loved were the original oil paintings adorning every wall of every room – and over 90% of them were hunt scenes. I drooled over them. The ponies and the ladies in side saddles and the hounds … there’s just something that makes me want to fall into each scene all Voyage of the Dawn Treader style.

And I felt the same way when I first saw Felix Doolittle’s whimsical watercolor illustrations of horses and jumps and riding gear adorning notecards, bookmarks, stationary, and paper weights.

I’m sure when you see them you’ll agree that I couldn’t turn down some free samples of these lovely items! (Huge thanks to Robyn for putting together and sending me this package! I was anxiously waiting by the door, and ripped right in as soon as it came). While I was waiting for my samples to come in the mail, I pretty much started (and finished) my Christmas shopping on the Felix Doolittle website.

I could tell from the website that the illustrations are darling, so I was just waiting to judge the quality of the materials in person.

The packaging was lovely, with a sweet hand written note from Robyn, on Felix Doolittle illustrated stationary of course. Will Felix Doolittle illustrate my company’s business cards?

It contained a hand mirror with a sweet dappled gray horse, a box of notecards that resembles a hardback book, and a set of five illustrated bookmarks. The ribbons on all of the items are a nice touch, especially if you intend to use these as gifts.

Here are the notecards inside the box. I love the ribbon tying them together and the simple equestrian motif. It makes me want to go to a horse show half a century ago in England, reminiscent of some of my favorite horse novels (anyone read the obscure but fantastic Year of the Horse or Scarlet Royal?).

The notecards are flat (not folded), and printed on a lovely cream-colored cardstock with great texture. The horse shoe and flower illustration adorn the front of the envelopes.

These bookmarks inspired me to read an actual physical book (Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls), rather than my Kindle. I’ve named the horses Harry, Peter, Francis, Declan, and Seamus. Apparently they are all geldings.

If you are looking for a unique Christmas gift this year (equestrian or otherwise), I highly recommend checking out Felix Doolittle. All of the illustrations – from nature to entertaining to hobbies – are simply darling. The quality of the printing and materials is exceptional, and the service is excellent.

Win a Set of Felix Doolittle Equestrian III Notecards

Felix Doolittle has generously agreed to give away one set of the equestrian III themed notecards pictured above to one lucky reader – a $40 value. To enter the giveaway drawing:

Go check out the Felix Doolittle website
Come back and comment and share which illustration and/or product you like the best and why. Be sure to include a real email address so I can contact you if you win.
Share this post on Facebook or Twitter (and tag Regarding Horses so I see it) to earn extra entries in the drawing.

Contest will be open for one-week. Comments must be submitted by 12 noon ET on Friday, October 5. Winner will be announced the following week.

My Christmas gift to myself might just be these personalized magnets in equestrian. The boots! The jump! I swoon.

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7 Awesome Things You Can Do for Building Social-Confidence and Social-Leadership

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

"If your number one goal is to make sure that everyone likes and approves of you, then you risk sacrificing your uniqueness, and, therefore, your excellence." – Unknown

In every social group and every social interaction, there is always a leader. Being social and interacting with people can be fun, engaging and exciting, however for many it can also be scary, exhausting and raise levels of anxiousness.

The good thing is, if you do feel tired, exhausted or have raised levels of anxiousness in social interactions, there are ways to overcome this. However, to be clear there is no magic pill that makes you feel more confident in social situations (and I'm talking healthy substances, not drugs or alcohol!).

Social leadership is another key point. Being the leader in a social situation enables you to fully be yourself, show your uniqueness and therefore your excellence and it enables you to truly live the life that you want, as you can direct the flow of conversation and events.

Enhancing your social confidence and social leadership not only helps you live the life that you truly want, but it helps deepen your relationships with others, it can help enhance your career or work life, and ultimately it will help you become a more happy person. Social interactions and relationships are key to happiness, so it is worth the time and effort gaining an understanding of how to develop yourself to ensure you get the best out of your relationships.

It takes action from your side to learn, practice and take the lead in interactions. It's time to put yourself out there and enhance your social confidence and social leadership.

As part of my work, I design and facilitate leadership and development programs and coach people with emotional intelligence. I also run Australia's largest social network for those in their twenties. Over the years, I have found that there are 6 AWESOME things that you can do for building social confidence and social leadership.

Start a Meetup group

Meetup groups are not just a fantastic way of meeting new people, but they are a fantastic way of practicing social interaction in a comfortable environment. What I have found is that there are always new people coming to Meetups and that you will never be the only person that does not know anyone. This can help you to start to create your very own social circle that you can practice taking the lead in.

Starting your own Meetup group is another fantastic way of enabling you to truly show your uniqueness. You can design your group's site, pick the locations and choose your target audience, allowing you to build social leadership in a way that is suited to your life.

Join Toastmasters

Toastmasters is undoubtedly one of the best ways of building your confidence in front of people. For those that do not know, Toastmasters is a non-profit organisation helping individuals build communication and leadership skills. Essentially, you go through a variety of exercise, games and simulations that help you think on your feet, prepare key messages and speak in front of an audience.

Spend just 6 weeks with toastmasters and I'm sure you will feel a vast improvement in your social confidence and social leadership.

Develop and deliver a presentation on your topic of expertise

What is it that you are an expert in? What do people come to you for when they need help? Develop and deliver a presentation on your topic of expertise and enhance your social confidence and social leadership. Giving a presentation not only enables you to practice your speaking and communication skills in front of an audience, but it helps you develop authority in the topic that you are choosing.

Have you noticed that after giving a presentation people seem more interested in talking to you? Getting up and presenting in front of an audience gives other's an insight into who you are as a person, enabling them to feel more comfortable in approaching you. This enables you to easily develop your social confidence and social leadership amongst something that you have expertise in and in an environment where you feel more comfortable.

Do something silly and make it public!

The world is simply one big playground! I absolutely love this one and it is something my friends and I do regularly. Never underestimate it's power in enhancing your social confidence and social leadership.

Jump outside of your comfort zone and do something silly in public. Perhaps it's singing in public, dancing in public, wearing an outlandish t-shirt in public. Perhaps it's organising a day out wearing ridiculous outfits with friends. Whatever it is, make sure it's silly, fun and something that you normally would not do.

Being silly in public helps you learn that life is simply about having fun and that social interactions do not have to be daunting or serious. It also enables you to truly show your uniqueness and bring out another side of your personality for the world to see.

Go to networking events

There is a lot of stigma around networking events, but in saying that there is also a lot of awesome value. Networking events are everywhere these days and for a range of different purposes. Find a networking event that suits your interests and practice meeting new people. The more that you practice interacting with others and the more you observe others interacting , you will quickly build your social confidence and also enhance your social leadership, allowing you to be more comfortable in expressing who you truly are.

Go to singles events

Even if you're not single, going to single's events can be a fantastic way of putting yourself out there and practicing your social skills. The good thing is, everyone is there to meet new people and simply have a good time. Sure, you might be spending more time with the opposite sex here, but they make up about 50% of the population so it's not a bad place to start.

As an added bonus, if you're single and you've developed your social confidence and social leadership, you will most likely walk away with a few dates to come your way!

Be the organizer of events amongst your friends

Last but definitely not least, be the organizer of events among your friends. You already have a good relationship with your friends and you will no doubt have social confidence amongst them. Being the organizer of events is a great way of developing your social leadership, allowing you to show your uniqueness and do activities that most interest you and that you feel more comfortable in doing. Your friends will see you as a social leader, also helping you to develop your social confidence.

Having complete social confidence and social leadership is not something that is found overnight. It is built and developed from taking action, putting yourself out there, learning more about yourself and experiencing the world. What are you going to do today that helps enhance your social confidence and social leadership?
Brendan Baker is an entrepreneur, socialite and starter of happiness. He runs Australia's largest social network for individuals in their 20's and has created The Start of Happiness, a movement dedicated to helping individuals find absolute happiness, reach peak performance and achieve ultimate success in life. You can visit Brendan and The Start of Happiness at www.startofhappiness.com

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King Tut and Cleopatra- The Peacock Escape!

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Most of you at Shiloh know that Sally has been wanting some Peacocks at Shiloh. After her wonderful birthday gift of three white baby Peacocks (thank you Donna, Tony Antonisha and Kayley!), Ed found two more full grown Peacocks at the NSPCA last week. They surprised Sally when we returned from our trip out of town!

So, needless to say, Sally has been excited about her new Peacock herd! But this morning, we were both in the Barn stall that is temporarily housing the two adults, King Tut and Cleopatra, and Tut made a flying beeline for the open door. Sally and I were both standing in the doorway at the time and, unfortunately, we both ran out of the stall screaming which gave Tut the opportunity to escape! He flew (really well I might add) out of the Barn and right up onto the Super Gummie's shelter roof!

There he is, mocking us from the top of the shelter!

We had no idea how we were going to get him down or stop him from just flying away!

See his head peeking over at us?

Then the guys, who grew up on ranches in Mexico, came up with an old fashioned plan involving the girl Cleopatra...

Tut began to wonder what we were doing with his girlfriend...

The guys gently tied a soft string around one of Cleopatra's legs...

And placed her in the open barn door where Tut could see her. They tied the other end of the string to the Barn, keeping Cleopatra from also escaping...

Then we waited while Cleo and Tut talked to each other...

Finally the guys began to try to herd Tut off of the shelter toward the Barn...

It worked! Tut flew down and went back into the Barn with Cleo...

After removing Cleo's string, the two were safely and happily reunited bac! k in the ir Barn stall.

Eventually they will be able to fly and roam freely all over the ranch. It will be so nice to see a Peacock herd wandering Shiloh!

- Posted by Jill Curtis from Shiloh Ranch

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Manhattan's Progress

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

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Manhattan Learns to Canter!

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Thu, 27 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

He doesn't know his canter leads yet but he is a good boy! A nice willing gelding who is looking for his new home.

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How To Create Your Own Formula For Success

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Wed, 26 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Do you have a saying or 'mantra' that you use to guide some of the more important decisions in your life? If you do, then you're not alone, you have something in common with some of the top achievers in the world.

President Theodore (Teddy) Roosevelt, for example, believed that you should always “Speak softly and carry a big stick”. Whilst this may not be the most positive fall-back position to have in life, it did serve him, and his nation, well when the tough times came. A more positive example is, believe it or not, Justin Bieber. In 2011 he released a film about his concert tour called 'Never Say Never', which reflects his view on life. Whilst you might argue that the young Mr Bieber is not the most intellectually challenging of individuals either on stage or off, you certainly can't argue that in his world he has had significant success and he attributes his own success to his mantra.

So what are the key components to these types of sayings? After twenty years of informal research in this area I have come up with the following four core characteristics:

Characteristic #1: It can apply to the ‘lows’ and the ‘highs’

When you are at your lowest ebb, you have to be able to apply it in a meaningful way. It might be that you need to motivate yourself or a team that have their backs to the wall. It might be that you have to have a difficult conversation with a colleague or a loved one. Regardless of the situation it will give you the resolution to get through it as best you can. At the opposite end of the scale you may be being overwhelmed by an exciting opportunity. At times like this your mantra has to be capable of keeping you on the right track and making the most of the chance that has presented itself to you.

Characteristic #2: It doesn't drive any single response

If the first characteristic is important, the second is critical. If your mantra is going to be used in tough situations you need to be able to choose the appropriate response in each situation. A saying that locks you into only ever taking one form of action or responding in one highly prescribed way will, at some critical point, let you down.

Characteristic #3: It's the most natural thing in the world to use it

Though it may sound like I'm stating the obvious, there may be several statements that could be applied by you. Often the reason for one statement resonanting with you more than any other is because it touches some deep-rooted emotion or feeling within you. It might be that a loved one or someone you have huge respect for epitomises the statement. Or it might be that you feel that it keeps you on the right track. The underlying reason will always be that it makes you feel that you are a better person for sticking to it.

Characteristic #4: It's quick and easy to call on when you're stressed

There have been many academic and medical studies that have shown that when someone is highly stressed they can forget the most basic facts and information. So whatever you choose as your mantra you need to be able to bring it, and what it means to you, quickly and easily to mind. Building on the third characteristic, the stronger the bond that you have with it, the more quickly and easily it will come to mind.

As you can imagine, in my work as a professional speaker I draw upon this research. I am often asked about the mantras that people have shared with me and the meaning behind them. After twenty years I have quite a few of them stored away in my head. For easy recall I reduce each saying to a simple 'formula'. Each of these formulas is stacked in a 'cardex' in my memory. I simply run through them visualising each in turn until the right one for the situation comes to the front.

I asked Erin Falconer, Editor in Chief of Pick The Brain if she had a life mantra. I wasn't surprised when, like other successful people, she told me she did have one. She told me that hers was "If not me, who, if not now, when?"

When I saw Erin's statement I immediately reduced that to be A = M+N (I actually said in my head 'AMEN'). The formula I have stored in my memory cardex for Erin's mantra is that for Erin the (A)nswer is always (=) (M)e and (N)ow.

So what's yours?

I'm assuming that you read blogs like this because you want to improve and develop yourself. If you haven't got a statement or mantra that you can call upon in tough times to keep you on track and get to whatever your version of success looks like, my advice would be figure out what yours is and start using it ASAP.

——–

Steve Houghton-Burnett is a professional speaker and entrepreneur. Through his work he gives people the courage and confidence to challenge and choose their own attitude and behaviors. He shares his informal research and the mantras that successful people use at SimpleLifeFormulas.com

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Could Productivity Be Taking Over Your Life?

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Tue, 25 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Imagine this:

You wake up one morning feeling dissatisfied with your life. You're in a dead end job, you're overweight, your house is messy, and you know that the problems stem from a single cause – you never seem to get things done.

On this particular day, something gives you a little jolt of inspiration. You decide that this is it: you're turning your life around.

Over the next few weeks, months, maybe even years, you do just that. You take some evening classes and switch careers. You lose weight and get fit – you even start training for a marathon. You declutter your whole house.

And life looks a lot better.

But…

Now that you've been bitten by the productivity bug, it's hard to stop. You remember how great it felt to finally have that sense of achievement – to know that your life was going somewhere. You think that if only you could be just a bit more productive, things would be even better.

You start working longer hours, trying to cram more into the day. You constantly read new books and blog posts on productivity, looking for new ways to use your time as efficiently as possible. You ditch social events as a "distraction" or a "waste of time."

Perhaps, as your focus on productivity at all costs grows, you even end up short-changing your partner or children. After all, a leisurely romantic meal doesn't seem very productive – nor does spending four hours building a fort with your kids.

I'm sure you can see where this is heading: too much productivity will make you unhappy, not happy.

Productivity Alone is Not an Achievement

Being productive is a great way to make the most of your limited time on this planet. If you struggle with procrastination or poor time management, reading a good book or attending a seminar that tackles these topics can be a real help.

It's important, though, to think about why you want to be more productive – and to hold onto that reason so you don't lose your perspective.

Perhaps you want to solve your time management issues so you can finish work at 5pm and come home to your family.

Perhaps you want to be more organized, so you don't waste so much of your life on trivia like where you left your car keys.

Perhaps you simply want to be the best person you can be.

Learning to be more productive can and will help you reach your goals. But productivity in itself, however, won't give your life meaning.

Is it Time for You to Be Less Productive?

If you feel as though you're on a treadmill, forcing yourself to squeeze maximum productivity out of every moment of your day, then it's time to slow down.

Of course, I'm not saying that being productive is bad … but, as with many things in life (like chocolate!), it's easy to have too much of a good thing.

Give yourself a chance to reconnect with what's truly important in your life, like:

Your health – including your mental health.
Your family – that could be your partner, parents, kids, or even more extended family.
Your passions – don't give up a hobby or interest just because it seems "unproductive."

You might like to set aside time in your schedule so that you deliberately have gaps where you don't need to be constantly doing things. For instance, you could keep a Saturday or Sunday completely clear so that you can follow the whim of the moment.

That might well seem odd at first, especially if you've been on the productivity treadmill for a long time. But you might also find that you laugh more, or feel truly relaxed, or get a great new idea for a project that you've been struggling with.

You might want to read some of these posts for some ways to unwind and be happier:

The Top 10 Benefits of Meditation

7 Powerful Relaxation Techniques

14 Timeless Ways to Live a Happy Life

If you're a recovering productivity junkie – or if you've found a great balance between being productive and also having time to rest and relax – then share your experiences and tips in the comments.

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SmartPak Introduces Its New Alexus Collection

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

An Elegant Look That's a Cut Above the Cutting Edge

For the elite equestrian athlete, even the best of both worlds isn't enough. That's whyAlexus Apparel Exclusively by SmartPak brings you the best of everything for an elegant look that's a cut above the cutting edge. Alexus—it's perfection, perfected and it's exclusively by SmartPak, available only at www.SmartPak.com.

Alexus Full Seat Breeches

Alexus Apparel Exclusively by SmartPak is both aesthetic and athletic with technical fabrics, innovative design and classic styling. The line features:
o Alexus Full Seat and Knee Patch Breeches using innovative technical performance fabric with 4-way stretch, sock-fit calves and wide waistbands. Both keep you secure in the saddle with a stylish flair!
o Alexus Waffle Tech ¼ Zip Top has waffle tech fabric with full-way stretch and offers superior warmth and moisture-wicking. Its smooth exterior won’t snag or attract debris.
o Alexus Hybrid Jacket is the ultimate cool-weather riding jacket with a slim design featuring waffle tech fabric on its side panels and inside seams for ultimate performance and breathability.
o Alexus Hipster Puffy Jackethas a wind- and water-resistant quiet nylon shell with 120g of fill in a slim fit. It is designed to keep you warm and looking great all winter long.

Alexus Hipster Puffy Jacket

"SmartPak created the new Alexus line of riding apparel to meet the performance and style needs of elite equestrian athletes," said Melissa Hamlet, Vice President, Merchandising at SmartPak. "All apparel in the new Alexus line are aesthetic and athletic, able to stand up to the rigors of outdoor riding with the ultimate in comfort and are made in classic and elegant styles that will make you the envy of the barn."

"I wear Alexus breeches because of their superior fit and fabric," said Renee Portnoy, SmartPak's Director of Merchandising. "The fit is flattering and comfortable, both in and out of the saddle, and the fabric provides great coverage and wears well over time."

SmartPak offers free shipping every day on all overs over $75 and free returns on all sized items, so why not place a risk-free order today?

To see the new line of Alexus apparel exclusively by SmartPak and SmartPak's full inventory of products for you and your horse, and to place a risk-free order online, just go to www.SmartPak.com.

Aesthetic. Athletic. Alexus.

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3 Sure-Fire Ways to Generate New and Great Ideas

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Do you want new and great ideas?

The kind that makes people

Smile in wonder and possibility after you introduce it
Question why they don't ask for your opinion more often
Recognize how intelligent, creative and brilliant you really are

If you’re nodding your head, I have a question for you:

What's the problem?

Why aren't you coming up with awesome ideas?

Why do you have trouble coming up with even good ideas?

It's probably because you believe that great ideas are reserved for a lucky few.

I have some good news and bad news for you.

First, the bad (that's the way I prefer it): To have new and great ideas require work. The belief that an excellent idea just pops into your head in an AHA! moment is wrong. Eureka, like overnight success, takes time.

Now the good: It is possible for anyone to generate great ideas. Stop thinking that you can't be creative and realize that you just don't know how. You have all the resources you need to create awesome ideas and lucky for you, this article will show you how to do it.

Broaden Your Horizons

Imagine having one building block, you probably can't do much with it except put it on its different sides.

What if you had 2? Now you can do some rudimentary stacking.

What if you had 5? Would you be able to build more things? Different things?

What if you had 100 building blocks? Imagine the possibilities.

Ideas work the same way.

Experiences are the building blocks for ideas.

To have new ideas, you need to collect new experiences.

What you can do?

Read books of all genres and do it often.
Travel to different places. The more different the better.
Visit museums. Attend concerts. Listen to music you don’t usually listen to
Attend a workshop, class or seminar – Neurolinguistic Programming, Creative Writing, etc.
Do puzzles that challenge your thinking – Check out Thinkertoys
Learn a new language – speaking a different language allows you to access different minds

Push the Limits and Play on the Edge

A great way to get your creative juices flowing is by playing on the edge.

Whatever topic you need ideas for, first get to the outer limit, get comfortable and then start pushing it further.

Think –est.

Ask:

What is the fastest, biggest, broadest, smallest?

What happens if I magnify it? Minify it?

What if I rearranged different elements? Combined my various experiences and ideas?

Don’t be afraid to be “wrong” and stop trying to come up with the perfect idea.

Storage

Ideas, like all great things, rarely come when we are looking for them.

They usually come at random times in the day and it is important for you to capture them for future use.

I always carry something that I can take notes on. It’s either my notebook, my iphone or some random piece of paper. When I get home I transfer these thoughts into my ideas book or organize them into Evernote depending on the type of idea. The important thing is to capture EVERYTHING. Even if it’s something that I don’t look at for months, when I do finally look at it, it helps me to generate many more ideas.

You've just learned 3 easy ways to come up with new and great ideas. It is easy to say, "that's nice" or "that makes a lot of sense" and promise yourself that you'll use these tips "one day". We all know how that goes.

I encourage you strongly to apply what you learned immediately and here are some suggestions:

Decide right now how you will capture your ideas no matter where you are: Get a notepad or voice recorder, sign up for Evernote (it's free) or create an ideas sticky note on your desktop.
Commit to reading something that you would not normally read (ask your friends for a recommendation or go to the library and browse a section you don't normally look at). Here are a few books that I enjoyed reading.
Visit a museum that you've never heard of.
If you need to come up with new ideas for something particular. Walk along the edges of the idea and start trying to push the edge. Ask yourself questions that end in -est or try to combine elements that don’t normally go together.
Look into taking a language class or signing up for a thought provoking workshop (comedy improv, NLP or creative writing)

Which one of these suggestions will you take first?

Do you have any tips for being creative?

Robert Chen is the founder of Embrace Possibility and the author of The Dreams to Reality Fieldbook. He helps people gain clarity and move forward in life. If you're going through a tough time right now, check out Robert's article on How to Feel Better Right Away.

If you find that you're having trouble getting what you want out of life, check out How to Always Achieve Your Goals.

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Daily Goal Setting Tips

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

To make your days as productive as possible, the first step is to clear the clutter from your mind and life. Here are some very simple yet effective tips, which will make the most of your day.

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Traveler on Assateague Island

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

I am off doing what I do best- exploring.

Today, I took the girls to Chincoteague and Assateague Islands so we could see the Wild ponies! The upper half of Assateague Island is in Maryland and the lower half and Chincoteague Island are in Virginia.

I am sure most of you have heard about Misty of Chincoteague, who was the subject of Marguerite Henry's classic book.

The wild ponies of Assateague are hardy barrier island ponies- there are two theories as to what they are doing here. The first theory is that settlers in the 1600's kept their livestock out in Assateague Island and the ponies are descended from escaped stock.

But the theory I like best is that the wild ponies are descendants of Spanish horses who swam ashore during a Spanish Galleon shipwreck! That is the one I choose I believe!

Entering the wildlife area...

The signs warned that the wild ponies would bite, kick and charge- but the Jill and Sally were not too worried about that. In fact they seemed to hope that would happen!

Assateague Island is filled with marshes, beautiful pine trees- and Mosquitos!

There is actually a herd! of poni es beyond the trees- but they were so far away they were hard to see...

Thy are out there- but you have to really look! The ponies are hardy and usually do not get much bigger than around 13.2 hands- although they will grow taller in captivity. Out in the wild they have a difficult diet of salty marsh grass which keeps their size down naturally.

Just when we had almost given up on seeing any wild ponies up close- we came across a herd crossing the road and grazing along the side!

There they go crossing the road! They even hopped right over the guardrail!

I got so excited seeing them that I didn't really get any good photos!

- Posted by Jill Curtis from Shiloh Ranch

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Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover Crowns Champions in Four Divisions

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sun, 23 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

For the 2012 Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover, trainers had approximately 120 days to transform wild American Mustangs into willing partners as they competed for their share of more than $250,000 in prize money. Once again, the champions entertained and amazed the crowd with their performances that displayed great horsemanship skills and incredible trust from once wild and fearful Mustangs.

In the Legends Division, Bobby Kerr and Maypop wowed the judges and the crowd with precise maneuvers in the compulsories and an entertaining freestyle that ended with Maypop sitting beside Kerr in an antique car as they exited the arena. In addition to the $50,000 winner’s check, they also earned $5,000 as the Fan Favorites. Kerr and Maypop scored a 168.5 in the compulsories, which was 10 points higher than any other entry. In the freestyle portion of the finals, the pair earned 288.5 points for a total of 457 points – 35 points ahead of second place.

Kerr, who lives in Hico, Texas, shared after the victory that he named the horse because at the start of the training process Bobby discovered that he “may pop” you if you startled him (i.e. kick). After a vet examination, it was discovered that this was a survival instinct as the horse has limited sight from his side and behind. Gaining a wild horse’s trust is never easy, but even with a severe handicap, Kerr was able to develop an incredible relationship with Maypop. The sorrel gelding was born in 2007 and was gathered from the Tobin Range Herd Management Area in Nevada.

The complete order of finish for the Legends Division at the 2012 Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover: 1) Bobby Kerr and Maypop; 2) Mary Miller Jordan and Silver Lining; 3) Drew Olsen and Bentley; 4) Mary Kitzmiller and Jax; 5) Kirk Christiansen and Cruise; 6) Tom Hagwood and El Gato; 7) Mozaun McKibben and Range Rover; Teryn Muench and Relay; 9) Wylene Wilson and Smarty Pants; 10) Jerry Jones and Tator Tot; 11) Teryn Muench and Déjà Vu; 12) Tate Weber and Lil Bit; 13) Randall Davis and Last Call; 14) Miranda Lyon and Finnegan; 15) Joe Williams and Vegas; 16) Teryn Muench and Pretty Boy Floyd; 17) Kirk Christiansen and Maverick; 18) Tate Weber and Snake Farm; 19) Clint Bailey and Hondo; and 20) Jake Lundahl and Tyree.

In the Idols Division, Cam Warner of Spanish Fork, Utah, and his Mustang Willson amassed 251 points to earn the champion honors. Warner and Willson displayed their team work by roping a calf without using a bridle or saddle. Willson is a 2007 bay gelding gathered from the Eagle Herd Management in Nevada. Warner earned $20,000 for the victory.

The overall top-10 placings for the Idols Division are 1) Cam Warner and Willson; 2) Arianne Hagwood and Harney; 3) Susan Kerr and Flaxey Fooler; 4) Austin Blake and Mustang GT; 5) Sharla Wilson and Smokie; 6) Clint Hayden and Hondo; 7) Seth Weber and Peterbilt; Betsy Moles and Mighty Mouse; 9) Heath Weber and Cranberry; and 10) Shaula Carboni and Born To Be Bombproof Leopold.

In the Stars Division, Mustangs were shown in-hand and were not ridden. Zachary Rios and Ezekiel were named the champions of the Stars Division at the 2012 Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover and took home a check for $7,000. Rios lives in New Boston, Texas, and Ezekiel is a 2007 sorrel gelding gathered from the Augusta Mountains Herd Management Area in Nevada. The duo earned 260 points to take top honors in the division.

The Stars Division overall placings are: 1) Zachary Rios and Ezekiel; 2) Cindy Brasfield and Top Line; 3) Sharla Wilson and Bandit; 4) Toby Dach and Deuces Wild; 5) Dwayne Rhea and Vaquero; 6) Bridget Slaughter and Phoenix; 7) Emily Hutton and Latigo; Ira Konig and Latigo; 9) James Low and Albarado es Joaquim; and 10) James Low and Whiskey.

In the Youth Division, yearling Mustangs were shown in-hand by youth ages 8-18. Sierra Sawaya of Hallwood, California, and Shasta were named the champions of the Youth Division of the 2012 Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover. The pair won $15,000 and a new Gist Silversmiths Custom Belt Buckle. Shasta is a yearling Mustang filly that was born in a BLM facility.

Morgan Moreno of Liberty Hill, Texas, and her Mustang yearling Charlie Brown were voted fan favorites by the crowd. Moreno and Charlie Brown's freestyle was a tribute to the Olympics. Moreno received a Gist Silversmiths Belt Buckle and $4,000 for being named Youth Fan Favorite.

The final overall placings in the Youth Division are: 1) Sirra Sawaya and Shasta; 2) Luke Lundahl and Rowdy; 3) Kaitlyn Sheheen and Sebastian; 4) Hannah Catalino and Just Harley Dun It; 5) Michelle Deden and Jesse James; 6) Morgan Moreno and Charlie Brown; 7) Tyler Brewster and Gideon; Amelia Rhodes and Top Blonde; 9) Mikaela Sawaya and Amira; 10) Jayde Dittmer and Wyatt; 11) Allison Reynolds and Whispering Hills Pride; 12) Hannah Catalino and Ace Of Spades; 13) Tyler Brewster and Strawberry Shortcake; 14) Chloe Chambers and Dante’s Dream; 15) McCoy Christiansen and Bubba; 16) Abby Brown and Ozzy; 17) Sarah Bowman and Dream On; 18) Jerrad Dittmer and McCoy; 19) Kellie Hunn and Lacy; and 20) Nikki Bednarek and Whispering Hills Daisy Darling.

The Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover competition took place at the Will Rogers Equestrian Center in Fort Worth, Texas, September 13-15. The horses were adopted on March 31 via a televised adoption auction on RFD-TV. The adopters met their new Mustangs in mid-May when they were picked up from Bureau of Land Management facilities across the United States.

Results from the 2012 Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover will be posted at www.extrememustangmakeover.com/emmsupremeextreme.php.

In 2013, the Mustang Heritage Foundation's annual Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover competition will be reformatted and achieve new heights as Mustang Million. The 2013 event seeks to place 1,000 wild, untouched horses into adoptive homes and be eligible for the performance competition with a $1,000,000 cash and prize purse. Live adoption auctions will be held across the United States for horse enthusiasts to adopt a Mustang for the competition. Learn more at www.mustangmillion.com.

The Supreme Extreme Mustang Makeover is made possible through a partnership with the Bureau of Land Management and the generous support of Ram Trucks, Western Horseman, Pfizer, Twister Trailer, Vetericyn, Martin Saddlery, RES Equine Products, Roper, Gist Silversmiths and Smith Brothers.

With more than 45,000 American Mustangs waiting to be adopted in BLM facilities, the Mustang Heritage Foundation is stepping up its efforts to help these American legends find adoptive homes. Since the first Extreme Mustang Makeover event was held in 2007, the Mustang Heritage Foundation has facilitated the adoptions of more than 3,300 gentled American Mustangs. In 2012, the Foundation in partnership with the Bureau of Land Management will continue to increase its efforts to raise awareness of adoptions of America's Mustangs. Visit www.mustangheritagefoundation.org for more information about the Mustang Heritage Foundation's adoption programs.

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Life Is What Happens to You While Youâre Busy Making Other Plans

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.”

This famous saying from John Lennon reflects a paradox in our lives. Many of us would like to have a peaceful ride, enjoy the present moment, yet we can't help but make future plans so we feel secure, or we spend time digging on past hurts. Lennon doesn't say we shouldn't make plans, but that the true experience of being alive is beyond those plans, and "happens" to us.

At first view, this seems to negate any personal will, since the right answer to life would be to embrace it instead of trying to direct it, but it might just be that free will should be redirected from the content of our lives to its approach: Instead of using our free will to decide what should come next, we'd use it to choose between ego or letting go, between a life ruled by our mind or a life in tune with a higher intelligence. For most people, this higher intelligence only seems to manifest when their life flows: important meetings happen, synchronicities lead to a new path and something mysterious seems to be pulling the strings. The willingness to not resist whatever life is putting on the road determines how long the ride will last. Then, one day, the ego-mind takes back its throne, doubt arises and the magical path vanishes. Guidance seems no longer there.

To stay on the path we must trust, live in the present, and let go of fear. In other words, behaviors we have not been taught growing up, so deconditioning is necessary. Learned behaviors are often a source of false security and self-limitation. Unfortunately, any mind work on deconditioning will only take us so far: "you cannot remove a thorn with a thorn" as the Buddhists say. The ego-mind will always fight its way to the director seat, reverting to its lower patterns as soon as it is threaten by change. To get rid of the ego is impossible, to put it as a servant of this higher intelligence is the answer.

Trust is the first step: Faith is beyond the ego-mind. By trusting something unknown, limitless and wise, you jump over the illusory self-limitations of the mind, hence opening the door to higher guidance and purpose. The place you create from is no longer the result of years of self-definition but the unlimited potential this higher intelligence has in reserve for you. So co-creation happens at a different level: not the level where your thoughts create your reality but the level where your alignment with the higher intelligence of your life allows you to receive its energy. What you manifest then is no longer the fruit of an illusion, the product of something as fleeting as the mind. You manifest from the higher intent behind your life. True purpose lies outside of the ego-mind's grasp.

Living in the present is a necessary condition for this higher intelligence to manifest. Calling on past experiences to evaluate something only brings more mind in and ego tries to direct the game again. Wondering about the future makes us want to control it. To live in the present means to not resist life's experiences, even the painful ones. The wisdom behind most spiritual practices is to see pain as a teacher of letting go. Whether it is the pain of sitting in meditation, of constant thinking or of emotional upheaval, the realization that these pains disappear in an awakened state of consciousness is a perfect training ground for daily life.

As we develop this simple awareness of the present moment and the willingness to experience life without the veil of mind, our fears evaporate. We go from the realm of ego to the realm of being, we surrender to the music and we become the dance. Life happens.

Sophie Rose is a spiritual counselor and the author of The Way of The Heart, Teachings of Jeshua and Mary Magdalene, 2012 National Indie Excellence Award Finalist. She is a contributing author of The Sacred Shift, Co-Creating your Future. Sophie is not aligned with any particular religion or tradition and has always favored a direct experience of spirituality. She can be contacted through www.thewayoftheheartcourse.com

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The Top 5 Things Iâve Learned About Balancing Motherhood and Horses

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

My baby was 5 months old last weekend. He plays and naps while I work full-time, sometimes from home sometimes in my office. My house is a mess, the dishes aren’t done, there’s laundry waiting to be folded (at least it’s clean, right?). I haven’t seen my horse in a week and a half.

I’ve learned that there is no such thing as balancing motherhood, work, and horses. Something always wins out, and something always has to give.

I had great expectations of everything I would still be able to do after becoming a mother last spring. Now I’m laughing in my own face. Here are the top 5 things I’ve learned about what life is really like as a mother of both two-legged and four-legged children.

#1: Riding Once a Week is an Accomplishment

I was so proud of myself when I was back in the saddle 3 weeks after giving birth. I had 3 months of maternity leave, and as I started to adjust to my new life as a mother, I started to ride more. I thought I would be able to ride 2-3 days a week on a regular basis.

Then I went back to work. I’m lucky if I can get a shower and re-heat left overs for dinner between my full-time job and my more-than-full-time baby. The hubby and I are constantly juggling schedules so that one of us is always home with Isaac. This means I’m rarely able to escape to the barn and go for a ride. If I’m not traveling on the weekends to visit family, go to weddings, whatever – I can usually get in a Saturday morning ride.

#2: Pregnancy Destroys Every Riding Muscle You’ve Ever Had

I have never been this out of riding shape in my entire life – even during college when I was out of the saddle for months at a time. Everything is stiff and sore for days after an easy 30 minute ride. Riding one day a week (see above) is not enough to return my abs and inner thighs to their former glory.

This one isn’t so much a surprise (duh pregnancy totally killed any core strength I had) as it is a constant reminder of the craziness my body has endured in the last year.

This may not be the case if you kept riding during pregnancy, but I stopped when I hit the 12th week of pregnancy because I wasn’t comfortable with the risk.

#3: Picking Hooves is More Exciting Than Tying Your Own Shoes

The fact that I can once again bend over comfortably to pick Ace’s hooves still excites me 5 months post partum. Who cares about being able to see my own feet?

#4: Babywearing Around the Barn is Good Exercise

I thought riding my horse would be how I would get myself back into shape after pregnancy and birth. Nope. Strapping my 4-month old to my chest and hauling him around a pasture in the great missing halter search is apparently a much better workout (Ace was missing both halters and his fly mask).

#5: My Horse Will Actually Survive Without Me

He may be a little dirty. His topline may be lacking any semblance of muscling. He may be developing a grass belly (round is a shape!).

And he might actually be enjoying his newfound life of leisure.

While I may not be out 5-6 days a week like I used to be, that board check still goes out every month. The trimmer comes regularly, and the vet comes as needed. The crew at the barn keeps an eye on him, and he suckers treats out of every passerby. He is fed, watered, his stall is cleaned, and he is turned out regularly. His former leasee (who now has her own horse) stops in and picks out his feet for me.

In other words, he’s doing perfectly fine without me.

The real question is, how am I doing with my extremely limited barn time?

I’m OK. I get a little stir crazy, and my legs are always itching to get in the saddle (although bareback is better because it’s so much faster!). My baby won’t be a baby for long, and I’m soaking up every single moment that I can possibly get with him. My horse will still be there in a few years when my babies go off to school or to hang with friends or are tied up in sports or rehearsals and I’m sitting home alone wondering how my kids grew up so darn fast.

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Why Trying To Change Yourself Never Works

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Fri, 21 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

When was the last time you met someone who said, “Um, can you please reject me? I mean, I really thrive and feel amazing about myself in atmospheres of rejection and hatred.”

Nope, doesn’t happen. Why? Because we were made for love.

Just turn on the radio and television for ten minutes to find out what the human heart is searching for. Our movies are centered around it, our reality shows showcase people fighting for it, and just about every pop star can’t stop singing about it. The human heart wants to be loved. In Brain Rules for Baby, Dr. John Medina describes how the ultimate environment for babies to thrive and grow is in a place of love and affection. That’s right, even science proves that our brains work best when we know that we’re loved.

I’m safe to say that because wounded people wound people, you probably didn’t get the love and affection you needed, regardless of how amazing your parents are. We’re imperfect beings in an imperfect world, and we pass on whatever has been passed on to us. When you didn’t get the love you needed, or when it was perverted and cruel, your heart endured emotional trauma. Trauma is anything that has happened where your capacity for pain exceeds your capacity for joy.

If you’re anything like me, you had a lot of trauma according to that definition.

My first memory of life outside of the home was sexual, so every time I looked in the mirror, all I could see were all the horrible things that had been done and said to me. So to make up for it, I became the queen of perfectionism, attempting to hide the shame of my past behind achievements and a perfected exterior. But no matter how hard I tried to sweep the pain under the rug, the emptiness was like a monster inside my heart, and I lived every breath to numb and escape life.

Pain was a reality stronger than love, so for years, I tried everything from drugs, alcohol and boys to overachieving, perfectionism, and food. But no matter what I did to my body, it never permanently satisfied my soul. In fact, I kept finding myself enslaved to counterfeit affections that simply put a quick bandaid over fatal heart wounds. I might have found temporary release from a food binge or a drunken stupor, but it never healed my problem.

And my problem was a heart starving for the medicine of unconditional love.

In order to ever find permanent peace and healing, each of us must realize that the drugs, alcohol, food, sex, pornography, perfectionism, overachieving, control, eating disorders, obsessive compulsions, money, and fame we long for will never heal the pain of the past. These things might keep us distracted from the truth we carry inside, but they will always be temporary solutions to permanent problems.

For years, I felt like a tree whose branches produced baskets of bad fruit. Every time I tried to get rid of the destructive behaviors (my eating disorder, weight problem, insecurity, self-hatred, anger, control), something would always grow back in its place. In order for the fruit of my life to change, I had to go after the root. And the root system needed the unconditional love I was created for.

No matter your religious orientation, I believe and have experienced God as the personification of Unconditional Love. As amazing as my hubby is, my parents, and friends, they will never be able to fully love me unconditionally. There's only one who I believe can do that, and that's the God who made me. Unconditional love, at its very essence, means it's without condition, so you can't earn it, be good enough for it, perform for it, or lose it. You have to simply receive it.

Receiving love into the places of my deepest pain and greatest shame healed me in a way that no earthly medicine ever could. I live my life to abide under the waterfall of affection God has for me–pouring buckets of sticky-sweet unconditional love into the places I believed were unlovable. But when you're seen and loved as you are, believe me, you change from the inside-out.

You cannot change yourself. You can only be loved into wholeness. And there's One waiting to do just that.

Christa Black is a popular blogger, speaker, and singer-songwriter whose songs have been recorded by multi-platinum-selling artists Jordin Sparks and Michael W. Smith. She has toured with The Jonas Brothers, Michael W. Smith, and Israel Houghton. After years of battling depression, addiction, and a chronically broken spirit, Christa was radically shaken by a God who truly loves ugly. She lives in Nashville, Tennessee, with her husband and son. God Loves Ugly is her first book and corresponds with her CD, God Loves Ugly. Visit Christa's site to learn more and read the first chapter! http://christablack.com/book/

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7 Stress Management Tips That Will Always Work

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Thu, 20 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

“If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.” – George Burns

Do you often find yourself stressed out? Sometimes it can feel like we have almost reached the breaking point, yet we keep pushing on.
Living our lives can be either hard, or easy. Do you just want to "get by" while always being stressed out or do you want to be carefree with a feeling of peace and relaxation?

There are certainly a lot of things in life that we cannot control. That being said, there are also a lot of factors that we can control too.

I would like to share 7 stress management tips that will always work:

1. Be More Flexible

It can be very easy to fall into the trap of always expecting things to go a certain way. And if things don’t go the way we wanted to, guess what? We get stressed out!

It is much better to be more flexible and less rigid. If you are going somewhere and there is a bottleneck on the highway, just accept it.
Getting all stressed out is not going to change the situation. When it comes to life, it is much easier to keep in mind that things aren’t always going to go as planned.

2. Make Love

A good majority of people turn to food or alcohol when they get stressed. The problem with that is that there are usually consequences.
Sex is a natural way to relieve stress and it feels good! During and after sex, certain hormones are released that feel like a natural high.
When it is over you feel very relaxed and stress free. You might even forget your name!

3. Engage In Exercise

Speaking of hormones, exercise releases hormones too called endorphins. They give you the sense of natural well being and put you in a very relaxed state.

Exercise is another example of a natural way to relieve stress. If you are feeling stressed out, nothing beats a good workout.
It can get rid of a lot of nervous energy that has been built up inside of you. Then it will be a lot easier to relax after and feel good about yourself.

4. Get A Pet

Studies have shown that having a cat or dog can really help to lower stress levels. They never judge you and are usually always happy to see you.

A pet can be a great companion when you are watching a movie, working on your computer or just taking a nap. There is just something about having a pet that helps you feel more relaxed.

Sometimes, being with a pet can help you to forget all about your troubles. They really do bring a sense of joy and relaxation into your life.

5. Take Time For Yourself

Sometimes you just need some time to yourself in order to escape the stresses of life. If you are so busy and can’t find the time you need to "make" time.

It is very important to have time alone to think and do the things you love and make you happy. It could be your favourite hobby, reading a book, or anything else your heart desires.

Quality time to yourself will help you to gather your thoughts and give you a sense of direction, hope and peace.

6. Limit Stimulants like Caffeine

This might be tough for some but you will find that it really does lower your stress levels. This is especially true if you are sensitive to things like caffeine.

Caffeine gets your heart racing and will only magnify anything you are stressed out about. It is also wise to avoid certain fat burning products that contain ingredients such as ephedrine.

Ephedrine will really get your heart racing and can even make you paranoid. If you are really serious about dumping your worries and getting rid of stress, trust me on this one.

7. Get Proper Rest

When we are tired, the smallest problems can appear like it’s the end of the world. We can also become irritable and make really poor decisions.

It is very important to get enough sleep. No amount of caffeine or any other stimulant for that matter can take the place of proper rest.
If you listen to your body you will do just fine. Everyone requires a different amount of rest based upon your own unique situation.
When you are properly rested you will feel like you can take on the world!

These 7 tips have worked for me and I am sure they will work for you too.

Randy McLean is the sole creator of Self Improvement Journey. He has a passion for health and fitness, self improvement and entrepreneurship. His hobbies include his wife, music, books, surfing the internet, watching movies and playing video games. Machine operator by day and entrepreneur by night, Randy is quietly building his part-time fortune in order to escape the rat race and live life on his own terms. You can read more positive, uplifting posts at:
http://www.SelfImprovementJourney.com

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5 Important Reasons to Slow Down Today

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Do you find yourself rushing from one task to the next, trying to cram as much as possible into each day?

It's great to live a full, productive life … but sometimes that doesn't mean speeding up. It means slowing down.

Slowing down could be as simple as taking ten minutes each day to meditate. It could mean giving yourself permission to sit and read a novel all evening, instead of catching up on your to-do list. Or it might involve having a vacation somewhere relaxing, to get away from the busyness of daily life.

If you struggle to slow down, perhaps one of these reasons will convince you to give it a go:

#1: You'll be Healthier

Your health is one of the most important assets you have. If you get sick or injured, you could end up losing months of productive time – you might even cause yourself problems that last for the rest of your life.

Even if your health isn't brilliant right now, slowing down is almost certainly going to help you too.

When you slow down, you might:

Relax more – reducing your stress levels
Take time for exercise – perhaps a leisurely walk with your significant other
Notice health niggles before they develop into major problems

#2: You'll Appreciate the Little Things

When did you last really savor a cup of coffee – instead of gulping it down at your desk while frantically answering emails? When did you last gaze out of the window and enjoy the view?

These lines are from the poem Leisure by W.H Davies, published in 1911:

What is this life if, full of care,

We have no time to stand and stare?

(You can find the whole poem here.)

Our busyness today is little different from the busyness that people faced a century ago: like them, we too don't really live full lives unless we have "time to stand and stare."

#3: You'll Find Clarity

When you're busy running around doing things, it's very difficult to see them at a slightly higher level. Maybe you have a small business and it's not going as well as it should, or you're not happy in your career path … but you're so busy that you never stop to actually think about solutions.

Often, simply taking some time out from life can stir up new thoughts and ideas, and give you much more clarity about your current situation. This could mean having a quiet afternoon in a coffee shop with a notepad and pen and your own thoughts, or going on a weekend-long retreat.

You might decide you need to take action as a result, making changes in your life or work. Or, you might find you come to terms with something that's been bothering you – perhaps you can recognize that, while it's not a perfect situation, it's one you can endure for the time being.

#4: You'll Have Time for Others

Do the important people in your life ever get short-changed? Perhaps you're often too busy to play with your kids (or to actually listen while they chatter to you), or you struggle to find time to have a conversation with your spouse.

When you slow down, you open up space in your life for other people. They might be family members, friends, colleagues … people who you want to treat well, but who you often don't seem to have time for.

This has huge benefits: you're much more likely to build strong, lasting relationships in both your personal and professional life.

#5: You'll Make Fewer Mistakes

I'm sure you've had the experience of making a silly mistake while in a rush – I know I have! When you live life at a run, it's very easy for things to go wrong. Maybe you speed, and get a ticket – or have an accident. Maybe you trip while hurrying through the house, and sprain your ankle.

In your work, a small error could cause big problems. Perhaps you finish that big report, but completely forget to email it to your boss by the deadline. Maybe an important client meeting slips your mind because you jotted it on a post-it note while in a hurry, and it never made it into your diary.

Of course, all of us make mistakes sometimes … but by slowing down, you have a much better chance of catching and correcting little slips (like misspelling a clients name in an email) at a stage where you can still put them right.

Do you need to slow down today? What reasons will help you make that a priority? Let us know in the comments…

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How To Stop Doubting Yourself

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Has there been a time where you had no sense of direction?

It always went like this for me: Whenever there is a new goal, I tend to be very optimistic about it. I always get energized and can't wait to get things moving.

These goals of yours can be anything, like losing weight, saving up money, or perhaps wanting to become famous one day! These are all very exciting things to look forward to, and most of us will be eager to get the ball rolling.

Then along the way, you are suddenly hit by an unexpected wave of doubts.

Doubts that make you think that everything doesn't matter anymore. Doubts that make you think that you took the wrong road. Doubts that make you want to give it all in. It's almost too hard to say "I will keep on going" and instead, quit.

So the number on the weight scale isn’t moving. Your bank account doesn’t seem to be increasing. Trying to become famous is almost a joke. It seems as if everything is doubtful.

On a day to day basis, it can be hard to keep yourself motivated. It can be hard to hold your head high up. At the same time, we all need to keep on going. What we think or feel at this very moment doesn't matter. What does matter is how we respond to it.

I will feel stress, but stress is another way of letting me know that I'm breathing; that I'm alive.

Without stress, we would never know what feels good. The main important thing is that you do not give up. Because once you give up, then no one can help you.

I run a personal development website. Ironic thing is that there are times where I will feel unmotivated about myself. Even the toughest knight has his weakest moment. Even though I run such website, it doesn't mean that I am forbidden to ever feel doubtful from time to time.

Just because you're expected to do something, it doesn't mean that you will have second thoughts and regrets.

But do not let these second thoughts and regrets make you quit what you started. You and I both need to keep going.

Here are the following things that kept my mind positive again—even after being unsuccessful and having doubts.

Take A Break

Sometimes it is our mind that goes against us. I will find that my time spent alone, doing absolutely nothing, will help get me straighten out.

I think. I ponder. Sometimes I will wonder why this is meant to be. Then I realized why I wanted this; why I started it.

Many people often quit at something they began. There may be several reasons, such as time constraint or other's opinions that influences their belief system. Either way, it is no excuse.

Whenever you find yourself having doubts, take a break. Give yourself time to think. Ask yourself what made you get into this goal. It will get you to realize why you started it in the first place.

Finding support

It's not always easy coping things alone. I find my own support through friends and reading other inspirational websites.

Sometimes we all need to hear something that will get us moving again. We just need to reach out to others who understand us. For many years, I thought holding this feeling inside would be fine. It’s not.

The good news is that there is someone out there who understands you. There is someone out there who has gone through what you are going through. It's all about relating to that person for support, and perhaps inspiration.

That stress needs to be let out, so don’t hold it in.

It Starts With Yourself

Remember that you run your own life. You are responsible for any plans and actions that you make. In between that, it's your belief system that takes the planning and action to execute itself physically.

If you cannot learn to support your own belief system, then others can't expect to support you.

As humans, we will face time where there is no sense of direction. There will be a time where we will all reach a low point in life. From a larger scale, it’s not what you feel during these moment that matters. It’s how you make out of it that determines the real result.

The next time you ever doubt yourself, remember that it is only temporary. Don’t make it into a permanent thing by acting on it unwisely. Give yourself time and support, because the decision that you make today will affect you forever.

——–

Dennis Do is the founder of Self Exceed.com. He talks about anything relating to self improvement that comes from his personal experiences. His advice tends to help others while trying to display a sense of humor and seriousness. He can also be found on his YouTube channel and various social media.

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7 Things Fifth-Graders Do To Stay Happy Everyday

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Tue, 18 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

Pull a Mental High-Five

"What consumes your mind controls your life." -Creed

It is time to pull out the mental high-fives. Make a daily list of what you did well. It does not matter how big or small. It certainly does not matter if you cheat with an easy one. What you need to do is establish that you ARE good at things.

Equally as important, you need to note what you need improvement on, and then make an effort to improve. It is very important to follow that last step. It is not enough to simply note that you need improvement. You MUST actually attempt to improve in that particular area.

In fact, just by noticing you need improvement, and attempt to better yourself, you have improved your awareness. Once you make any level of improvement, it is time for another mental high-five!

2. Let GO!

"You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present." -Jan Glidewell

The cancer of feeling good is holding on to past failures or shortcomings. There is nothing that can be done about the past. It is most certainly over, and since it is over, it is time to let it go. Not every individual finds it easy to follow this simple step, but it is a must to feeling good.

It is great to learn lessons from mistakes or failures. There is no improvement without taking these instances to heart. However, there is a statute of limitations on the effectiveness of that knowledge.

At some point, the fear of repeating the mistake or failure gets in the way of improvement. There is almost nothing in the world that feels better than letting go of something that weighs on your conscious or mind.

3. Accept Yourself

"The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you." ― Stephanie Perkins

There have to be over a thousand songs that explain how one should accept who they are. However, there are still millions upon millions of women who are unable to do so. While there are a million excuses why, there is only one explanation: Lacking self-esteem.

While it may be difficult to fathom at first, and it may not always feel comfortable right away, accepting who you are is the key to feeling good.

Ask any happy person, and part of their formula will inevitably be that they learned to accept who they were. They discontinued try to fit someone else's mold. Talk to anyone who is downtrodden and lacking self-esteem, and it is due letting standards be defined by others.

4. No Matter How Much…. Do!

"I am a slow walker, but I never walk back." ― Abraham Lincoln

Just like with working out, the key is that you will feel good doing something. Success in each day does not matter. Comfort will grow. There will be ebb and flow of each ability and capability.

Yet, in mathematics, there is a fundamental truth that is: Every number is infinitely more than zero. The lesson being, no matter how little you may accomplish in order to feel good, at least you have done something. By doing something, you avoided doing nothing. All that can happen from there is improvement.

5. Activate Your Fantasy

"The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge" –Albert Einstein

As children, we all had those crazy, amazing fantasy worlds. I remember that my fantasy world was to stay in a castle with my family. As we grew up, we tend to leave this fantasy under the carpet.

Now, recall the times when you were a child..wasn't this how your coping mechanism as your child when you were feeling bored or upset? So, activate this mechanism once again to think of a fantasy or dream..especially after a bad day.

6. Diet and Exercise

"Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person's physical, emotional, and mental states." -Carol Welch

Mind-Blowing, right? Of course not. Everyone knows that diet and exercise are important. However, what need to be emphasized are the reasons behind it as they pertain to feeling good.

It is not just the fact that your brain pumps out the endorphins you need to feel better. It is not only that you will inevitably look better overall. What really matters is that by doing something, you are empowering yourself. You are exercising your willpower to better yourself. Plus, you will feel good because your body is producing hormones that cut fat, sculpt and tone your muscles, and give you a natural high.

On the other hand, a healthy diet can give you that boost of energy that can give you a positive spark. More than anything else, you are given the knowledge you are doing something to improve. That, in itself, leads to happiness through diet and exercise.

7. Read Inspirational Quotes

Finally, whenever I am feeling down, I would refer to quotes from the most successful and inspirational people of all time. It reminds us that everyone would feel frustrations and lousy about ourselves at times. However, happiness is a choice and not a given. It is the way we see things in life that will determine if we are happy.

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have." -Fredrick Koeing

"To be happy, drop the words 'if only' and substitute instead the words 'next time'." -Smiley Blanton

"Searching for that big happy moment in life, how many special little moments will we let pass us by?" –Anonymous

——-

Just For Pick The Brain Readers

Hi guys, Hack My Modern Lifestyle has graciously offered their life changing ebook (normally $97.00!) for free! This is a collection of more than 500+ quotes that are designed to affirm you with positive energies and confidence. This amazing no-brainer is only available, for a limited time through this link.

You may want to see some of their popular posts like Quotes About Life for inspiring words of wisdom!

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Friday in photos

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

A quiet Friday...

Donkey Otie "helping" Felipe feed...

Wanderers...

Sanctuary horses Eden and Sully; Little Vacation Village...

Wanderers Huckleberry, Pokie Dot and Mamacita...

Sanctuary Horse Stretch; Little Vacation Village...

BFFs Waco and Juniper; Little Vacation Village...

AJ and Moses on a relaxing ride around the ranch...

Arturo on Manhattan...

- Posted by Jill Curtis from Shiloh Ranch

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How to Jumpstart Your Personal Development to Mind-Blowing Results

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Sat, 15 Sep 2012 08:08:00 +0000

What is Personal Development?

I found my very own definition for personal development. For me, personal development is the continuous progression of personal growth by expanding my self-awareness and improving my personal skills. But where do I really have to start, what is the most important thing that would take me the furthest? And what is the best first step? I really thought long and hard about that, tried a lot, read all the books and listened to all the talks. In essence, I think I found my most important steps that lead to optimal personal development:

Being Ready: The Willingness to Change

I soon noticed: nothing really happens if I am not willing to really change myself. This is not really a personal development step but rather a necessary state of mind. In order to grow you really have to be ready for personal transformation. You have to really want to change for the better. It sounds trivial, but I met countless people who want a better life but just don’t want to change. The reason is that deep down they don’t believe in the great positive effects a personal change would have on changing their life for the better. Another¬†necessity¬†is the acceptance of the current situation. I learned that you have to stop rationalizing your life and tell yourself the brutal truth. Only then you are ready for lasting change, because you are aligned with the truth.

Move to Power: Take Responsibility for Your Life

The very first major change comes when I start to take full¬†responsibility¬†for my whole life. It is a real move to power because now I am responsible for everything that happens in my life. Nobody and nothing else is responsible for my own fate, but me. Of course this is a bit of an over-optimistic view, there are things that are not in my control. But what is in my control is how I react to things and what I actively create in my life. This is a mind set to develop. A mind set which is very empowering and which helped me a lot in my initial stages when I personally just came out of a depression.

Remove Your Limits

Still, there are things inside me which can hold me back. And those are usually self limiting rules or beliefs. Everybody has those. But where did they come from? Usually they are formed unconsciously in earlier times, maybe from our parents or by society, or by events that shaped us. The question is: Are those set of beliefs supporting me, or maybe not? And if not, how can I identify and get conscious about them and then change them into empowering beliefs? The process is thinking about an area where I am not yet happy with and then think about my beliefs in that area. A favorite one is money. What are my beliefs about money, me earning money, me deserving money, about how money shapes my character etc.? I write them down.¬†Then I think about whether those beliefs are supporting me or not. And if not, how can I replace them with more empowering beliefs? This is a very effective way of freeing yourself and getting rid of limits that you don’t need anymore.

Tap into Your Passion: Ignite Your Burning Desires

I noticed in order to be truly happy and fulfilled in my life, I have to create something and be of use in something that I and others love. That is deeply fulfilling and if done the right way can lead to great success in life. The question remains: what is it really? What is my passion? And the fuel and reasons for my passion comes from my own deepest desires. If I can fulfill those,¬†continuously, I will live a passionate, purposeful and fulfilled life. So what is that drives you personally? What makes you excited and puts that big grin on your face?

Find Your Life’s Vision and Create Few But Powerful Goals

At this point I understood that I am the master of my universe. Using my imagination to create in my mind what I desire in my reality is the key. The key for creating what I really want. So there is an exercise to develop a personal vision for how my life is going to look like in the future. That vision is my ideal life and it really drives me. From there flow concrete goals almost naturally. I found that it is helpful to limit my goals to the really most important ones. Focusing on only the vital few goals that make me happy the most, raises the probability that I really reach them. It also reduces stress from not getting overloaded and eventually getting nothing really done. So a strong vision and a few really powerful goals drive me to action and to build what I want.

Get Resourceful: Mind & Body

The next personal development area I want to mention here is a way to get more personal resources.¬†There are basically two: Mind and Body. When I set all those great goals I noticed that this is challenging me to grow intellectually and also physical. I just needed more physical energy! So what I did is researching how I can increase my personal energy level. And there are 5 main things I did: exercising, proper breathing, proper eating, proper sleeping and watching my emotional and mental energy. Getting more mental resources is also helping a lot. “Use it or loose it” is the general advice for your brain and it is true. Training the mind actively is giving me more ressources. Great methods to improve your minds capacity are: Focussed work, reading (feed your mind), relaxation, social activity, meditating and also exercising. There are a lot more, but this is what, besides my mostly mind-dominated job, I personally do the most.

Last But not Least: Learn to Take Effective Action

My last area of improvement is to learn to take effective action. By effective I mean action that is incredible productive and focussed on what matters most to me. There is the time management matrix where you look at urgent and important tasks. The key is always to focus on the important only. Start with the urgent and important tasks and then go directly to the important but not urgent ones. This is also called the Zone of time management. What is really necessary here is to know what is important. How do I know that, simply by following my vision and my goals. If I make this my center of what I do it gets harder to loose myself with false priorities. This was an overview of what I personally identified as the best areas for personal development. By focussing on those steps I think you can reach a happy, successful and fulfilled life.

Where can you get the details?

On my site at MyrkoThum.com: Personal Development that Transforms I have everything worked out in detail starting with the¬†Free 5 Day Introduction Course in my Newsletter.

This is a guest post by Myrko Thum from Personal Development that Transforms.In my life I’ve been driven to answer one burning question: How can I get the most out of myself?¬†Or in more verbose words: How can I realize my full potential and live a happy, successful and fulfilled¬†life?¬†In search of answers I embarked on a journey into personal development. So this is the essence of 12 years working on my own personal growth ¬†…

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How To Speak And Be Heard By Everyone

kfidelman@kelmarpartners.com (Unknown) — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 08:05:00 +0000

When speaking to people whether in a social setting or business environment, how you speak is more often recognized than what you say.
When I was growing up my dad always said to me "Suzanne it's not what you say, it's how you say it".
For years I did not understand this. I had no idea I was speaking in any different manner than anyone else.

If you want your message heard you must speak the language of who your audience is. If it is one person, find the clues to how they hear, or interpret information. If it is many, include all modalities when sharing your message. Even if your message is telling a joke.
Oftentimes we want to discard someone because they are dry or boring. Or perhaps too overdramatic. More often than not, they just speak a different language. When we realize this, we become relatable to everyone.

Learn to recognize the language looking for a few clues in modalities:

How do they talk? Are they slow and precise? Quick and dramatic?

How do they reference information? Do they 'feel' like something is happening? Does it 'appear' something is happening? Do they 'see' how things are going to play out? Does it 'sound' to them like things are going to go a certain way..

Mirror back
If someone says:

" I feel like something is going to happen" you know they are speaking kinesthetically
" I see what's going on…" they are speaking visually
" It sounds to me like you are on a mission, this is auditory

These are 3 examples of modalities that are always used. How you incorporate them in conversation will make the difference between being heard and being dismissed.

If you are speaking with someone who is visual you will want to include language that they can see, so give examples of visuals that relate to your topic.

Same goes with kinesthetic and auditory. Use language that has them feeling or hearing that which you are trying to say. So rather than having them see the bright white sheets(visual), they will feel the softness on their skin (kinesthetic) or hear them whip in the wind as they hang outside to dry (auditory).

Mirroring also includes body language. Do as they do. But don't overdo.

- If they speak fast, you speak fast.
- If they speak slow, you slow down.
- If they speak with their hands, do the same.

You can complain if you want that that is 'just not you,' but my question then would be, wouldn't it be nice if someone took the time to understand your language?

—-

My name is Suzanne Jones. I am a Certified Hypnotherapist and a Writer. I have a bloghttp://www.pristineperception.com and write based on true experiences. I guide people through either Hypnotherapy or my Writing to regain personal and mental control of their lives. Just one degree of perception change is all it takes.

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