THE NEW YOU
You don’t always need needles and scalpels to achieve desired results. Sometimes, it can be as simple as a fresh outlook. Story Rachel Naud

Forget about New Years…once the calendar turns from the lazy days of summer to crisp new fall, a lot of us look for a chance to renew — to change up our looks and reinvent ourselves with the change of the season.

And although some will find that new look through any number of cosmetic enhancements, those with a fear for all things scalpel and needle can still shake up their experience.

And best of all, it doesn’t have to cost you an arm and a leg.

“The absolute first thing a woman can do is to spend some time getting to know herself, appreciating who she is and what she is capable of,” says Tamara Pulles, a Calgary-based certified life coach and professional speaker. “All the things that make her unique, beautiful and a powerhouse in her own right.”

And once you feel beautiful on the inside, go shopping, she says. Switching up your wardrobe can not only lift your spirits, but it will also give you a great outlook — both figuratively and literally.

Don’t feel that you have to make a big investment to feel a great personal gain when it comes to new clothes, either, says Pulles. It all boils down to choosing some classics.

“Ensure your wardrobe has a few key pieces that are timeless and aren’t likely to go in or out of style  quickly,” she says. “These are easy to mix and match with other more trendy pieces. Then, you can pick a few pieces that really highlight who you are. Find a pattern, colour or a style that, when you put it on, feels fantastic to you and really complements your figure, assets and energy.”

Pulles also suggests choosing pieces that are applicable to different kind of events, things you do in a day or even different moods. “I know that when we’ve had some gloomy weather for a few days, I like to wear something bright or fun—something that I feel fabulous in—and show the weather and the world that nothing will get me down,” she says.

And the most important rule to remember when it comes to clothes shopping: size doesn’t matter.

“Women need to recognize that the size of clothing is really irrelevant,” says Pulles. “It is just a number on a little tag that scratches your back when you wear your outfit. Fit, on the other hand, is everything.”

Once you’ve added some brand new colours to your wardrobe, consider taking a trip to the nearby salon or spa for a makeup consultation to pick the best shades for you for the season. New makeup, as well as hair colouring and styling, are just a couple ways to achieve big results without breaking the bank, says Rasha Kashour, salon manager from Diva SalonSpa in Northland Village Mall.

“Receiving any of our services will make you feel brand new and beautiful inside and out,” she says, noting other popular treatments include eyebrow shaping, Brazilian blowouts, facials and pedicures.

“It is great to see complete head-to-toe transformations,” she says. “The guest’s energy and confidence is undeniable.”

What are YOU making it mean?

What are you letting hold you back? What are you letting define who you are? What are YOU making other people’s opinions mean?

It amazes me how often people, myself included, choose to believe criticisms and negative opinions of people before we listen to ourselves and our true people. The ones that love, care about us and want us to grow and succeed.

Why is that? Is it because somewhere, deep down, we already have that insecurity and by someone else saying it, it brings that insecurity to the surface? Perhaps. Is it because we are so desperate to please everyone that we forget who we are and the opinions that really matter? Maybe.

There are criticisms from my past that were hard to accept at the time and felt rather icky. Let me share two – one personal and one professional. In my personal life, I love to cook. I love to try new recipes and make a great meal for my friends and loved ones. And, I happen to know that I am a pretty good cook. Imagine my surprise when I was told, “you cook too fancy meals” as a reason someone didn’t like me. Huh. Interesting.

Then take the professional example that involved me writing online articles. The business I was writing for had a certain style that they wanted all of their pieces to sound like – basically like it was always coming from the same voice, not an individual account of a situation or event.

So, I would write, send it off for review, only to have it edited to sound like the same voice as all of the other articles. So, in that case, I decided to try to accommodate that voice style as much I could to help cut down on reviewer editing.

Then one day, an article I wrote included a quote from yours truly about an event I had managed and personally been at. The article went off for review and came back – with my own personal quote about the event rewritten! So not only did my articles need to sound the same as ‘the one voice’, my quote, attributed to my name, was changed to what the reviewer wanted said in the article, not what I really experienced and wanted to say.

At the time of these events, I was hurt, disappointed, frustrated and angry. While I didn’t have to agree with what was said, I also figured out that I was feeling this way because of what I was making their opinions mean. And then I realized I had a choice. I always have a choice. And I could choose what I would allow these events, criticisms and opinions of other people mean to me.

And I chose not to let them define me.

The person who didn’t like that I tried new recipes (among their other criticisms)? They can keep their opinion (which is theirs to have and none of my business) and I CHOSE to not have them as a part of my life at all anymore. And I still love to cook. Still try new recipes. Am an even better cook than I was back then – minus the odd recipe-trial-gone-wrong, of course – and my husband, family and good friends are the appreciative recipients of those delicious meals. And unfortunately, the taste-testers of those gone awry too. (Sorry, but thank you, Honey!)

And the writing critiques? As Van Gogh said, “If you hear a voice within you saying, ‘I am not a painter,’ then by all means, paint. And that voice will be silenced.” So here I am. Writing. Being my authentic self and using my authentic voice. Those who really know me can probably say, “As I read your articles, I can almost HEAR you talking.” Good. Then my work here is done. Because who I am, what I think, what I know and what I’ve learned is what I am here to share with you.

So, what are you not doing because you are afraid of what someone else with think or say? And if you get some constructive feedback of criticism, you have a choice of what to do with it. Be open, listen and then evaluate if it is useful information. If it can help you grow, use it.

If the feedback or opinion does not serve you, however, then let it go. And don’t make it mean anything that feels icky or painful. Rather remember, as I remind myself daily, other people’s opinion of you is none of your business. They have a right to their opinion. But so do you. And as in the above cases, surrounding myself with great people and trusting my own opinion of me has served me well.

The Art of Being Willing to Suck – and Becoming a Brilliant Success in the Process

Before I begin, I suggest that all of my fellow perfectionist friends out there take a seat and a deep breath and prepare to hear me out.

There. Comfy?

Okay – the point of this article is to help you succeed at anything you set your mind to – without driving yourself to drink or going nuts trying to be perfect at everything and without feeling like you have to be everything to everyone all of the time. And yes, this IS possible!

Let me share with you the key to unlocking your mind and finding peace. In order to become really good at something, you have to learn how to do it, right? And that means some trial and error. But, unless we are willing to learn from our mistakes, we are destined to repeat them. So, the best advice I can offer you in your pursuit of greatness is to really get everything you can from the ride – as my mentor Martha Beck would say, that means you’ve got to be willing to suck! Or, similarly, give yourself permission to do B minus work.

Ah ha – THERE is the gasp and near fainting spell I expected from you!

Here’s the thing – if you have an all-or-nothing mindset to things, the result usually ends up as nothing. I know countless people, not to mention myself, who have had a goal to achieve something, but in the planning for that goal, we decide we have to know everything about what we need to do and how to do it perfectly before we even set out on the journey to achieving our goal.

For example, there is a woman who was new to her sales position. She began reading about the product she was selling. And then the details of her company. And her clients’ companies. And, while that is all well and good, she refused to go out and start meeting those clients. When asked by an insightful co-worker why she hadn’t, she said that she couldn’t go until she knew the product inside and out and could answer any question a client could possible ask. Her co-worker asked how she could possibly know all of the answers without meeting clients and actually finding out what she doesn’t yet know?

What would happen if she went out, talked to a client and just sucked? She would then KNOW what she doesn’t know – which gives her the opportunity to go back and learn more – and move closer to being the expert she dreams of.

Personally, I have a tendency towards an all-or-nothing-and-must-be-perfect-when-I-do-it approach. How’s that working out for me, you ask? Well, apparently not that good – or I wouldn’t be writing this article and also wouldn’t be working daily on getting good at sucking and doing B minus work – and gaining tons of useful information and experiences from it to help me become an expert in, or success at, whatever I am aiming to do!

A personal B minus example for me has to do with exercise and fitness. My goal is to be healthy and fit – in fact, to get to my fittest ever. The plan for that goal often looks like this: get serious about workouts. Choose workout plan. Make sure it is a quick results plan. Best be one that requires hour-long workouts six days a week to get quick results. Today is Thursday, so I will give myself the weekend to do nothing before I start ‘the plan’ on Monday. Oh yay, it is Monday and I’m motivated to implement ‘the plan’ as soon as I am done work (because I am SO not a morning workout kind of girl). Crap. Something came up and I only have 20 minutes to workout today. But ’the plan’ requires an hour a day, six days a week. And I only have 20 minutes available today, so I’ll have to wait and start tomorrow to get my hour in. And so the cycle goes.

But…a HUGE but (pun intended) here…what if I give myself permission to do B minus work? If an A plus looks like working out an hour a day, six days a week to me, then a B minus might be doing an hour when it works, and making sure to do what I can with the time I have six days a week. And the result? I move closer to my goal of being my fittest yet by doing B minus work – instead of dreaming, planning and taking no action at all in my A plus required perfectionist mind.

Friends, we have to live and learn…or we really aren’t living at all. The truth may set you free, but allowing yourself to do B minus work and being willing to suck will free you to try the new things you’ve been holding out on trying and also discover and learn the tools you need to become that expert or achieve, instead of just dreaming about, your most desired goals.

Are You Allergic to Your Job?

Okay, most of us at some point in our lives have thought or vented about a job that is not satisfying.  Perhaps you notice you are exhausted, grouchy, feel dread or even cry when you think about going to work. With some jobs I have had (I shudder when I think that I may have referred to them as a ‘career’ at one time or another), I have even said that I “feel like it is sucking the life out of me”. Well, that might not be so far from the truth!

Did you know that your job can actually be making you sick?! Yes, we know that stress is not healthy. It promotes that fight or flight response that, under actual physical threat protects us. But, stress can cause this response when there is no actual physical threat. And when we spend extended times with this stress response activated, it can easily lead to health issues.

Here is a story of how I learned to tune into my body, feel what it is telling me and ensure I am taking care of myself and maintaining the balance between my social and essential selves – and living my inspired life!

Picture it…young woman, University Degrees in hand, chomping at the bit to start her dream career (of course). And at first, it WAS the fairytale I had dreamed of – making money, learning new things, having a role to play on major projects that changed the landscape of and lives of people living in my city, province and country! The things dreams are made of, no? Well, had this direction been in line with my essential self, then yes. But…

Fast forward three years. Here I am with a nagging illness – every month or two, I would get this weird itchy/achy ear thing (yes, very technical term, I know). Then after a few days I could literally feel it move into my throat and chest and I was SICK. Like on the couch, unable to function at all for three plus days. Naturally, I went to my doctor – and shockingly was told over and over, “It must be a cold. There isn’t anything really wrong, so I can’t prescribe anything to fix it.” Hmmm…

After about eight months and four or five bouts of this illness, I quit that job. To my utter amazement (as I hadn’t yet connected the two), the ‘mystery malady’ didn’t happen again! Well, not until several years later, when I was in yet another job that was something I thought I ‘should’ do and truly was not even close to in line with my essential self. But, that’s another story.

What did I learn from all of this? That I have the ability to choose what makes up my life. My career, relationships, activities, home…everything! And I don’t HAVE TO settle for ‘good enough’ when ‘fan-freaking-tastic’ is within my control!

What about you? In what parts of life are you settling for ‘good enough’? What things are you doing that are causing your body to speak to you…and are you listening? It may be subtle, but pay attention to what inspires you and what sucks the life out of you. Times you get sick easily – are you overdoing it and need to slow down? Are you suddenly clumsy, forgetful or moody for what seems like no good reason? Do you find yourself taking refuge in food, alcohol, drugs, excessive exercise or any other addictive behaviours?

Today, I coach, speak, teach and am living the life and career that supports both my essential and social selves. Thank goodness I finally figured out what my body was telling me and refused to settle into good enough – not just in my career, but in my life!

It is true that you DO NOT have to settle in any part of your life! You get to create the life you want…doesn’t that sound like fun?!

I’d love to hear from you…feel free to email me or add a comment to this post about how you’ve noticed your body is telling you something. Or tell me about the places you will decide not to settle! Can’t wait to hear from you!

I had been playing high level soccer for a number of years when I decided to spend a season and ‘play for fun’. Unfortunately, I suffered a serious knee injury from a collision with (or rather, inadvertent kicking in the knee) from another player. The result was significant time on crutches, two reconstructive surgeries to repair the damage, a year in physiotherapy and a lot of time spent on my couch, feeling defeated and sorry for myself (not to mention eating every comforting and unhealthy food in sight and subsequently gaining 20 pounds).

The limiting thoughts that swirled through my head certainly did not help in my recovery: I’ll never walk without a limp again! I’ll never play soccer again! My leg will look awful with all the surgery scars (ah vanity, my friend)! Why is my recovery slower than that lady next to me at physio?!

While this injury predates my coaching career, the valuable lessons I learned from this experience, combined with my subsequent coaching training and knowledge and competitive nature to be my best and aim for the top of my game lead me to develop a highly applicable component of my coaching practice for athletes that are injured and/or aiming to improve their performance…

Introducing…Mindful Sport Coaching!

So, what did I gain from my sport background, injury and recovery that now benefits you?

That while I had minimal control over the injury, surgery and (to some extent) the required physical recovery process, I had 100 percent control over what was going on in my mind.

Let’s be honest, injuries suck. Major injuries that sideline you for extended time really, really suck. However, the injury itself is simply just a fact. What you choose to do with that information is what forms the recovery process, how you will manage it and how your mindset will benefit or hold back the physical recovery itself – and yes, it IS directly connected.

This same principal can be applied to wanting to move from your current level or skill or success in your sport to a higher level. While there is physical requirements (getting stronger, working on speed, agility and technique etc), it is your mind that drives your body and helps you succeed…or not.

Looking back, before I knew better, if someone had asked me, “what is perfect about this situation” – something I often ask clients in seemingly less than ideal situations – I would have wondered if they had gone mad…or if I had. I mean, what could possibly be good about this situation!? Well, I can safely tell you that what was perfect about that situation is simply what I experienced, learned and now have to apply to Mindful Sport Coaching – and subsequently share with my clients to help improve their recovery and/or athletic acceleration.

What could be more perfect than that!?

*Check out my website for more information about my Mindful Sport Coaching program www.inspiredcoachingdesign.com  – detailed information will be available by Friday March 12 at the latest!

Heaven on Earth

Hola, my friends!
Today I write to you from a little table overlooking the sand and ocean at our retreat in Troncones, Guerrero, Mexico. For clarity, it is about 30 minutes north of Ixtapa. Many expats live in the area and it does not have to touristy feel typical of the larger centres. And what it does feel like is absolutely amazing.

The energy here at Present Moment Retreat (www.presentmomentretreat.com) is full of all things beautiful, serene yet energized, passionate, powerful, calm and regenerating. It did not take us long to settle in and begin to fully enjoy what we had come here for…connection, calm, relaxation and some exercise and fun within it all.

We have had ample opportunity to practice yoga daily (more than once a day, if we want to), take advantage of various forms of massage and eat the most amazing, fresh and healthful food (and some not so healthful, but equally delicious) creations.

We had been here for 2 days (also our 2.5 year anniversary) when Rich suggested we take our fab new camera and tripod out to the beach and get some pictures of us with the waves, sun and sand all around us. He fiddled with it to get it taking automatic pictures which is so darn handy when you want photos together, no!? Of course, me being slightly oblivious (part of my charm, yet again), I smiled, snuggled and posed…and then was utterly confused, shocked and stunned as Rich turned to me and pulled out a tiny bag with what appeared to be…could it be…is that REALLY what I think it is…engagement ring!!!!!!? You could have knocked me over with a feather (or a very small wave, in context to our location)!!

And, in his well planned execution of the event, Rich had set the camera up to take interval photos every 5 seconds for a minute or so! The camera captured the confusion, shock, excitement, laughter, hugs and overwhelming bliss of the moment in sequential perfection. There could not have been a more perfect moment or place. It is a time I will never forget…and wanted to share, but a snippet of, with you.

Anything more of this trip is just icing on a perfect cake (or extra gravy on my poutine, for those of you who know or share my love of poutine). And extra gravy has been plentiful. We have gone surfing, walked the long, welcoming beaches, helped release baby turtles to the ocean and been treated like every person longs to be – with a smile, a friendly touch, offers of a service to help and overall greetings that tell you people are genuinely happy to meet you, spend some time with you and help make your day a great one.

If everyone treated each other this way, can you see how there would be so much more kindness, happiness, peace, calm and healing energy in this world? I wonder if we all tried this, how quickly the change would be felt.

As I write to you, Rich is in yoga class – I took today off since I have a slight sunburn (oops) and rather sore shoulders from the great classes and surfing. But I must say that a vacation that provides such a wonderful mix of calm and relaxation along with some healing and energizing exercise all bundled into a place with bath-tub warm ocean water, sand and sun to frolic in with the man I love (and who also loves me – did I MENTION I am engaged!?!?) and some really kind, special and amazing people we have had the pleasure of getting to know, I am quite sure we have in fact, found a little piece of heaven on earth.

Come to think of it, perhaps anywhere you are, with people you love and following your ideal, inspired life path, are also pieces of heaven on earth. That is a great feeling to know, since Rich and I will be returning to the cold, snowy winter of Canada soon, but will take these memories and the next stage of our life to the piece of heaven we call home.

Relaxation and Rejuvenation: Requirements for Creativity and Inspiration

It is interesting for me to hear people speak about not having taken any holidays in x-number of years. Or how they don’t know if they are going to be able to carry over all the holiday time they didn’t use, almost like a badge of honour.

And in the interest of being completely honest, that was me for many years and sometimes, I still have to remind myself to schedule in some relaxation time. I used to work a full-time job, plus a part -time night job (part of that time I was also writing my Master’s Degree Thesis) that left me with three to four hours of sleep for a minimum of two nights in a row – sometime up to 6 nights in a row.

The result was not pretty; despite my view that I was being dedicated to getting ahead and being a hard worker. In reality, I was an exhausted mess with little room in that exhaustion for creativity, my health or my happiness. I was a high functioning zombie, but a zombie all the same.

Once I realized the toll that these choices were taking on my life, I began to enjoy my holidays (does that statement bring up any feelings of guilt or fear for you?). I looked forward to the time off, talked about my plans and made sure to make the most of the time I had scheduled to relax and revitalize my mind and my body.

With this self-care commitment in mind, Rich and I are off to a fabulous Yoga Retreat (with surfing, sunning, touring and sightseeing opportunities close by) in Mexico in just a couple of days! We take a trip to a hot and/or tropical location early each year to break up the winter months, relax and allow ourselves to refresh our busy minds.

Stay tuned for more on this trip – coming to you from Mexico. I can’t wait to share the creative ideas that will most certainly come to me while there, as well as all the fabulous (and hilarious, I am sure) stories of the trip. Oh – did I mention that I love yoga, but haven’t done it regularly in a year or so? That should be entertaining. Or that I really don’t like spiders anywhere but on tv, in books or in jewellery designs? And that I don’t particularly like scorpions either? Ah yes…I can see Rich’s face now as he tries not to laugh or shake his head when I scream in paralyzed terror as he gently removes said bug-like being from my vicinity. After which I will remind him that this is all just part of my charm. And since I believe it, it must be true!

So, do I have some fears or limiting beliefs on this? I’d say so (eeek! Spiders!)…but I am going to have way too much fun living, loving and laughing (mostly at myself, I imagine) to be bothered by them – plus, having my own wonderful spider relocater along won’t hurt either!

Until next time…Namaste

Make 2010 Your BEST Year Ever – and 5 Ways to Ensure It Happens

Here we go – another year completed and a new one to come! So exciting! I used to find New Year’s Eve a bit over-rated and depressing…thinking about how fast the year went by, what I didn’t do and how much was left to add to the new year. Plus – Auld Lang Syne is de-press-ing!

Then, the night rolls over to the new day, and I am INSPIRED. One of my favourite days of the year is New Years Day – a new year appears and there is something very peaceful to me about that. I used to make big goals with big deadlines and all that served to do was put immense pressure on myself. Now, I have stopped making hard and fast rules around my resolutions. While I think goals are wonderful at any time of the year and important things to have, unnecessary pressure placed on ourselves is not.

So, this year, I have a suggestion for you and for me to make this the BEST year ever. How? Simple! My resolution this year is simply to love more. Specifically, to be kinder and more patient, make more time, take care of me and take care of my loved ones. With loving kindness and diminishing unnecessary pressure and expectations, working towards goals and living life will be more like a breath of fresh air, than suffocating under self-imposed pressure and expectations.

Here is how I plan to ensure I have my best year ever, just by loving more:

Forgive – I plan to stop expecting perfection from myself or others, and also forgive myself when I react to or think something that isn’t ideal. It is a perfect opportunity to regroup, dissolve my negative thoughts and move on with a new thought without wasting timing. What a great opportunity for some self coaching! (Annoyance at bad drivers is my first order of business. That guy that just cut me off, his tires throwing rocks at my car and then taking off at warp speed very well might be in a rush to get to the hospital before his first baby is born…and whether that is true or not, thinking it sure makes me feel better. And that is the point.)
Say No or Say Yes; Whatever Feels Right – I will stop saying yes because I feel I ‘should’ do something and focus on what my essential self is telling me is right for me. By remaining connected with myself every day, I will stay on the path to my ideal, inspired life – right where I want to be.
Eat Clean – I will feed my body with healthy, clean, delicious foods that nourish me – while allowing some treats that I truly enjoy without feeling guilty (what is the point in a treat if you ruin it by feeling bad that you had it!?)
Exercise – I will only engage in activities I love, continue to try new things I might like, not beat myself up for a missed workout and not force myself to do something that doesn’t feel good. And that includes letting go of the ‘I HAVE TO be a runner’ thought. Seriously. WHY do I HAVE to be a runner when I quite dislike listening to the sound of myself gasping for air?
Make or Take Time – I have a tendency to over-commit myself to things and end up overwhelmed, run down and struggling to give my all to what I do. Not this year. Loving myself and my peeps means being at my best and being able to focus completely on who I am with and what I am doing.

That doesn’t sound too hard, does it? Perfection is not required, in fact, expectation of perfection is guaranteed to lead to disappointment and takes away the enlightening opportunity to self-coach, grow and learn from my thoughts and experiences. Why would anyone want to miss that?

So, I will not need to question if I’ve kept my resolution this year, as long as I just act from a place of love every day. Care to join me in a resolution to love a little more this year and make 2010 the best year ever?

Fa-la-la-la-la…Love-Love-Love-Love!

Okay – it might seem that I am mixing metaphors and seasons and all sorts of things. But really, I am combining two of my favourite things – Christmas and Love!

Christmas and the New Year are the perfect times to check in and see if you are giving and getting everything you can. It is also a great time to make a plan, take charge and ensure that from this day forward you never miss an opportunity to grow, laugh, love and be everything you can be in this lifetime.

With that in mind, I want to know, are you really giving love – and are you open to letting love in?

One of my favourite movies is “Love Actually”.  At the beginning of the movie, The Prime Minister’s (Hugh Grant) voice appears over scenes of people meeting and hugging as they greet loved ones. He says:

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinions starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don’t see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it’s not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it’s always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I’ve got a sneaking suspicion… love actually is all around.

I get goosebumps every time I hear this quote. Love is the most innate and beautiful thing people have to share with the world.

Sadly, love has also become a thing of fear, privacy and punishment. A waste of something so amazing, if you ask me. All too often I hear people saying that they are scared to let themselves love someone in case it doesn’t work out and they get hurt. Or scared to let someone know they care, in case the feeling isn’t reciprocated. Or holding back a smile, a hug or a kiss to punish someone for something they said or did.     

 Why would you do that – to yourself or to someone else? Seriously. Of all things in life, LOVE is the thing we fear and want to keep the upper hand on? These choices are not living or loving.

You see, I know you have been hurt deeply by an experience at some point in your life. And I also know that it was awful, crushing, heartbreaking and devastating. There are so many reasons we could find to support our thoughts about how the situation happened and why it was so devastating. But more importantly, in the present, what are you are making that past experience mean for you today?

As you know, we have the power to choose. You can choose to stay in the misery that is your story if you like. I can acknowledge that it is probably safe and comfortable and you’ll never be hurt again if you never let anyone in and if you remember – in full colour – everyday – the anguish that was your life in that moment.  But by doing so, you are choosing not to get hurt…and choosing not to fully engage in life either.

Tell me – as comfortable and safe as it feels, is that the life that you want to be living? If not, then perhaps it is time to take your first step out of that story and start writing a new one. You can thank those experience for what they gave you – a chance to really feel emotion, the strength to make it through, insight into the kinds of people or relationships you want to welcome into your life and growth into who you are today. All great things.

Which is worse – loving with abandon and possible pain or choosing a life without love? Let go of pain. Release the fear of getting hurt again. Take a deep breath and open your mind, your heart and all your energy to allow the life and love you want to flow to you. Without being willing to risk pain, you will never truly be able to experience love. Take a chance!

Now go and be your fantastic, festive, loving and amazing self – free of inhibitions and the ‘what ifs’ that have held you back until now. Change those ‘what ifs’ into, “What if today is the day I meet the person I want to spend my life with?” “What if today is the day that I make a fantastic new friend?” “What if today is the day that my smile and positive energy gives a boost to someone that really needs it?”

That feeling of joy is a life lived – and something I know I don’t want to miss out on. Join me in really celebrating the Holidays this year…you have a lot to be thankful for and perhaps the greatest gift you can give yourself and the world this year is the promise to really live and love deeply – amen!

Coincidence? I Think Not…

Do you believe in coincidences – those connected things that seem to happen by accident? Like a stroke of luck (good or bad) or a happy accident?

Each day, I watch for these events as they happen to me and around me. I take them in and spend time noticing what they mean, because for me, calling these events ‘coincidences’ dismisses what they are and what they are telling me. I believe things happen for a reason and mean something more.

If I listen and follow what these occurrences are telling me, I know I am being directed along my path to achieving what I want – and then I take inspired action to create my ideal experiences. I have confidence that all things are happening FOR me and nothing is happening TO me…the world conspires to help you if you are following the path of your authentic self. If you are not, it most certainly lets you know that too – things like illness, anxiety, floundering and those things we might attribute to ‘bad luck’ can all be signs that you are not following the direction of your best life.

An example of this happened to me just the other day. I had a doctor’s appointment and LOVED the husband and wife team that I met – they are the type of people I am just drawn to and want to hang out with. You know, people with that energy that compliments yours and you want to be around and get to know better. As it turned out, I had to go back the next day. Inconvenient? Yes. It was a 45 minute drive in the middle of a busy day and I also felt bad they were inconvenienced too and had to come in during a non scheduled time to meet with me again.

As I hopped into the car and headed to their office, I asked myself, “What is perfect about this?” I do this with every less than ideal, or even bad, situation. Often, with a little bit of thought, it isn’t that hard to discover what is prefect about a seemingly inconvenient or ‘bad’ event or situation. Originally, I thought what was perfect was, “going in today doesn’t disrupt my weekday work routine,” and “I really like these people, so it is a pleasant surprise that I get to see them again today.” Both thoughts made me feel good (and isn’t that the goal?) – but so much more came out of this day.

Because it was an ‘off’ day, I got the full attention of my little doctor team since there were no other patients. Bonus! We chatted and got to talking about what I do. What a great time to use my elevator speech! (Okay, so I tend to get a bit excited about what I do and therefore tend to ramble. I know. If you know me, that is SO shocking.) Anyhow, they thought it was pretty interesting and asked for some of my cards to share with people they know. How perfect!

As I was leaving, a cute mommy and daughter walked in to pick up a certificate for the silent auction at a fundraising event they are having for a local hockey team. I mentioned that it sounds fun and I’d love to come if there are still tickets available. Lo and behold, there were still tickets available…and since my friends and I all love wine, chocolate, meeting other fun ladies and shopping – it was perfect too!  

I gave her my card so she could email me the evite and she also asked about me about coaching – woo hoo! Another chance to gush about what I do (despite the rambling, she DID comment how nice it was to meet someone that loves what they do that much!)

What a great series of events to help me meet some new people and get a chance to talk about what I do! Would these opportunities have arisen if I had fallen into a negative energy state of frustration because I had something inconvenient happen? Probably not – because the energy a person projects impacts people around them and the interactions with those people too. If my energy had been negative, the conversations I had that day would likely not have occurred or would have looked very different.

How Can You Create This Energy?

Each morning, and throughout the day as needed, take the time to align your energy by focusing on calm, positive thoughts and memories. It is amazing what a difference a few deep breaths and thinking about your favourite memory can do to make you feel fantastic. And also, be aware of things that occur that you may have previously thought were just coincidences. Be aware of your energy and consider what these daily experiences are telling you.

You have the ability to create the energy that you want to feel internally and also project to the world each day. Whenever you feel frustrated or wonder, “why is this happening to me,” take the time to ask and answer, “what is perfect about this?”

It is happening for you, because there is something you need to notice – and it is either leading you to something great or helping you notice if you are heading in a direction away from your ideal life. It is not a coincidence and nothing is happening TO you…everything that happens is an opportunity for you to really engage in life, recognize your path and take inspired action to achieve everything you’ve ever wanted. Coincidence? I think not!