Pleasure of meeting and visiting with these fine ladies of NLSADD.

Ever have a time when something touches you so deeply that you just can’t shake it?

Ever have a time when you are so moved by emotion and overcome that it stays with you for days?

That is exactly how I’m feeling.

Students Against Destructive Decisions

Or, more commonly known as SADD.  SADD has been around for years and in fact, was a part of my school when I was growing up.  For fear of making myself sound much older than I am, I’ll simply say a LOT has changed with SADD from what I remember.  When I was familiar with SADD in school, it stood for Students Against Drunk Driving.  I love the change that SADD has made from “drunk driving” to “destructive decisions”.  It’s more inclusive of all decisions and recognizes that there is a lot more going on with teens than the possibility of drinking.

I had the pleasure of spending a couple days with the Northern Lights SADD Chapter in North Dakota and from the moment I reached out to connect I was greeted with exceptional warmth, hospitality and grace.  What I realized very quickly is that this chapter is an exemplary example of putting people in positions that fit them well and then allowing them to shine!

While leadership may start with the top, any great leader knows that it isn’t about them being a great leader.  Instead great leadership is about empowering others to do great things.  Lee Erickson is the coordinator for Northern Lights SADD and while he is an incredible leader, he’ll be quick to let you know it isn’t about him.  Instead it is about the students that step forward everyday to continue sharing the message.  It’s about the youth that are affected by destructive decisions.  It’s about the parents and family members that go on living even after something tragic happens.  Lee Erickson is one of the most compassionate, caring, gentle, loving, and grace-filled people I know.  It is because of this that his students shine brighter than many I’ve met.

It’s so refreshing to meet teens that recognize they ARE the change.  They recognize that there are things they can do – TODAY.  They recognize that they are individuals and don’t need to fit in the standard box that our teens, all of us, have been given to fit in.  Instead, they recognize that they are the gift – to themselves, to the schools, to their communities, to the world.

Get curious and explore SADD in your area.  It truly was one of the most amazing experiences I’ve had in a long time.  These teens are our future and it’s time we invest in supporting them and what they are doing.

What will you do today?

This is exactly what over 1,600 kids from across Minnesota have done the last 3 days.  Enter a side note…  *over 185,000 high school students are members and participate each year!!! 

I have had the distinct pleasure to sit in front of over 75 young men and women as they Aspire Higher** representing their chapters.  Each year hundreds and hundreds of kids from across the state (Minnesota – any many others) muster up more nerve than many of today’s adults.  Some do this because they were told to do it, some because they know it’ll be good for them and some because of their personal drive and passion.  Either way, I am so dang impressed.

Imagine standing in the middle of a room, in front of 4 adult strangers pouring your heart into a presentation.  In this scenario, you (as the participant) KNOW that your fate is completely in their hands.  The adults (aka your judges) have the power to send you to the next level of judging along with the power to cut your time short and you move no further.

Or imagine being allowed 15 minutes to review a role-play scenario in which you are given 5 minutes to present an entire promotional plan to the judge (aka owner of a bed and breakfast).  Your promotional plan has to touch on specific points on how you would increase revenue, maintain clientele, etc.

Welcome to DECA.

I was recently introduced to this incredible organization by a good friend and am so grateful as I learn more about it.

In one word:     IMPRESSIVE

There are so many words that come to mind as I think about my experience the last few days and all of the young lives I’ve been privileged to learn more about.

I had the honor of learning about a young lady’s story about her and her family’s move to Minnesota from Nigeria.  I also learned about a gal that shared what she is most proud of is helping her Mom because she (Mom) was diagnosed with MS.  I met two students today that scored a 34 and 35 (out of 36) on their ACT tests!  I’ve met high schoolers that already own businesses and some that already know exactly how they want to leave their mark on the world.  I’ve learned practical applications as well; such as ideas about how to promote and market for MY business – ideas I had never even thought of.

One of the best things I’ve been reminded of is that you can NEVER judge a book by the cover.  These students are simply amazing.  Over and over I thought to myself how blessed we are to have such an incredible group of young people to step into “the real world”.

I honor and congratulate all of the students that are part of this fabulous program. 

I also honor and thank the many teachers, advisors, parents, volunteers and others that go into making this program so successful.  As a parent of a high school daughter, I know the importance of programs like DECA and it’s thrilling to see it thriving and making a huge impact.

I encourage you to reach out into your community and see how you can get involved.  It might be with DECA and it might be with another organization.  Our young people, of all ages, need your support.

How will you choose to give your support?

*taken off of www.deca.org
**Aspire Higher is the theme that DECA is focusing on this year.  To learn more go to www.deca.org

It’s no surprise to me that our youth can feel unsupported and unloved.

In fact, coming off the week of Valentine’s, I shared in a moment that on the outside may not appear to have much of an impact or affect.  However, if explored further, it’s clear that the lasting impression can cause more harm.

I was visiting with a good friend of mine and we were agreeing about our mutual dislike of Valentine’s Day and the connotations that it implies.  It happened that our discussion was the day after and his young daughter had experienced quite a bit of heartbreak on the day that is seemingly saved for love.

He shared that when his daughter had arrived home after school that day, she was visibly shaken and distraught.  Again, this is the day that we spend so much time, energy and money (over 16 billion in the U.S. alone) just to make sure people feel love.  However, there are no rules how you express your love or with whom you choose to express it.

As he inquired about what had happened, she told him that Samantha* had received 13 valentine’s in school and she received none.

None.  Zero.  Ziltch.  Nada.

Not even one single valentine was saved for her on this day of LOVE.

I imagine the heartbreak she must have been experiencing as she shared her valentine’s in class, waiting anxiously in anticipation to see what she might receive in return.

As she came back to see her gifts, she returned to an empty desk.  All the while, she found out that Samantha (who, I’m told is a very kind girl) was given 13!

In that moment of realization, my friends daughter, Kate* knew her worth.  It didn’t matter that her dad had spent years ‘making sure she knew her worth’.  It didn’t matter that her mom hugged and kissed her every day since the day she was born.  It didn’t matter that Grandma and Grandpa know that she is stellar.  In fact, 10 years of people telling her how amazing she is had no effect on her whatsoever.

What mattered, in that moment is that Samantha had 13 and she had none.  In a split second Kate realized that no one thought of her the way she thought of them.  In her mind, she wasn’t important enough to be given a valentine.  In that moment all of the wonderful things she’d been told over the years were undone.  Like a damn being broken open, in came flowing the doubt, lack, fear, sadness, and questioning.

As parents, we do the best we can all of the time.  My friend is an incredible parent and he shows kindness, compassion and love to his daughter.  He makes sure she knows he’d proud of her.

What happened?

Society.

Our children are susceptible to the same programming that we believe.  If we believe that our value lies in what we receive for Valentine’s Day, and it isn’t given to us or shown to us in a way that makes sense, then our value of ourself diminishes.

We are taught every day that our worth is outside of ourselves and although parents do a great job, society is much louder.

Is there hope?  Absolutely.  There are things we can and need to do for ourselves, our parents, our children, everyone that we come in contact with.

Over the next few weeks, we’ll explore some of the steps we can take to foster the worth from within rather than waiting on the outside.

In the meantime, what do you think we can do to support this growth?

*of course for privacy reasons, the two names have been changed.

This picture courtesy of 'bored-now' on flickr.

Everywhere you look today you’ll find expressions and sentiments of love.

I hate strongly dislike this day out of all the ‘holidays’ that are celebrated.  When I share my expression of this day, many are shocked.  Knowing that I love everyone, how can I possibly dislike a day that is celebrated as THE day of love!?!?

Today, for many, is just a reminder of what a loser* they really are.  Check facebook and Twitter and it’s easy to see that the thing that matters most today is what your sweetie got you.  There is so much emphasis on what you did (or didn’t) get.

I know that it might be unreasonable to celebrate Valentine’s Day EVERY day, but why not?  Instead of saving all your nice words and gestures for one day, can’t we extend beyond?

Plus, what really drives me crazy is that this day goes back to reminding us that the only way we are important or matter is if we are in a relationship.  What it does not emphasize is that even if you aren’t in a relationship, you can celebrate and enjoy this day focused on love.  To me the emphasis needs to begin with ourselves and how loving I am to ME.

As I embrace myself fully and LOVE myself fully, then I am able to express that to others.  I imagine a world filled with everyone that is able to see themselves fully in the eyes love.  We are all meant to love and to be love.  Today, go ahead and enjoy your expressions of love and take time to remember that it does start with you.

While you enjoy this day, also ask yourself how you can step more into the loving EVERY day.  Let’s agree to embrace our fellow brothers and sisters and join together to share that we are all LOVE.

You are an expression of love.  As such, you are destined to love and be love.  By embracing yourself as love, you change the world.  Today, know that you are love.

Please share – how will you choose to celebrate the love within and what will you do daily as an expression of love?

*The term ‘loser’ in this post is NOT something that I believe is true.  I recognize that is the message that we are taught to believe.

Last week I shared with you an experience I had when visiting a local church.  As imagined, it sparked a lot of conversation – much of which wasn’t even captured through the comments.  I had a number of people contact me directly wanting to visit and give a voice to their opinion.

As I stated, I know that what I’m doing does not and will not resonate with everyone – nor does it need to.  At the same time, I firmly believe that you are enough.

Scratch that.

You are MORE than enough.  You are amazing and you are designed for brilliance.

I know my voice isn’t heard by the masses (yet).  I am confident in knowing that it is a voice that NEEDS to be heard.  It needs to be heard because we all want to matter.

In fact, one of our biggest desires is to know that we matter.

It ticks me off when I hear that people are still being told that they don’t matter.  It really ticks me off when we send our children to ‘institutions’ to be educated and learn and grow and at the same time, they are being told that they need to fit in a box in order to be good enough or to be right.

Isn’t it time that we stand up and say that our children are worth more?  Isn’t it time that we step in and do everything we can to support them in embracing their brilliance?

Now IS the time.

Here’s the rub, though.  Most parents don’t even realize that they aren’t embracing their own brilliance.  Most parents don’t believe themselves to be good enough.  Most parents don’t know HOW to teach their children to uncover and embrace their brilliance.

Society teaches us at a very young age that in order to “be enough” we need to

• look a certain way
• act a certain way
• wear the right clothes
• have the right friends
• have the right ‘mate’
• have the right phone, car, house, job, etc. etc. etc.

Society shows us that how compassionate, loving, kind, and generous we are doesn’t really matter if we don’t have all of these others “things” outside of ourselves.  We are taught that nothing good comes from within.  And we are taught that as we grow up, in order to be ‘good parents’ we need to continue acquiring everything outside of ourselves otherwise our children wont love us.

What a joke.

What our children need is for us to stand up and embrace our brilliance.  As I stand up and embrace, my daughter sees that within me and unconsciously takes notice.  She sees me stepping forward everyday in the belief that I know to be true and it inspires her.

For all the sons and daughters out there, I will stand up for you.  I will continue standing until I can stand no more.  I know that you are a shining star.  You are brilliant and have so much to offer the world.  I believe in you.  I know you have a gift, many gifts.  Let’s stand together because as we stand, others will join us. 

Will you stand with me? 

Despite everything I talk about, I want you to know that you are not good enough.

This is the message I was told last week in a meeting.

Enter controversial topic along with me wearing my big girl pants.  I had to try them on this morning to make sure they fit.  I don’t get in them that often and I’m receiving a clear message that it is time.

Ever since I was little, I always questioned the religious beliefs that I’ve been told.  There are two that come to mind immediately.

1. If God is a perfect God, how can He create anything other than perfect? 
2. Why would my best friend have to “burn in hell” just because she didn’t believe the exact things I was told I had to believe?

As I continue to grow personally, I continue exploring these questions and I urge you to explore questions that you have may.  I’m not going to go into my reasons and thoughts behind these two questions, instead I’ll share with you the encounter last week.

If you’ve been reading my words for even the smallest amount of time, you would know that one of my main messages is sharing how amazing you already are.  It is my overall belief that society teaches us that we need certain things, outside of ourselves, in order to be enough.  We are taught that it takes the right clothes, car, job, education, partner, etc in order to be good.

My main message is saying forget about what society teaches and reconnect with how amazing you already are.  You are born into greatness and the fact that you are here is enough.  Period.  Instead of searching outside of yourself, look within, get attached to your gifts and offer them to the world.  It is by this offering that you begin to fill up and connect with what really matters.

Unfortunately, this is not the message that I was given last week as I sat in a room with 2 youth pastors and an assistant.

I had graciously received an opportunity to share with them my vision for sharing my message.  I know that my message isn’t going to sit well with everyone and in fact, I don’t need it to or expect it to sit well with everyone.  However, I was not expecting to hear what I had heard from this group of people that give so much of themselves in order to support the youth.

Before I share anymore, I want to be sure I say that overall, I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation and learned quite a bit about myself and my role within this journey.  I know that meeting them last week was definitely part of my process and for that I am eternally grateful.  I will also say that much of what their message is really resonates with me and I commend them for the work they are doing.

As our meeting progressed and I shared my message, one of them shared about conversations they have with the young women.  I was told that she approaches it by telling them that they are not good enough.  She said it might be considered opposite of self empowerment.  She went into details about how we are not enough and we are born into sin and that it is our responsibility to recognize we are not enough and never will be enough. 

After personally searching and seeking for 32 years to be considered good enough and then 3 years ago to finally be confident stepping forward into ‘good enough’ only to hear that, by her standards, I’m not good enough and nothing I can do will ever be enough.  Wow.  Let’s just say that shocked and dismay is an understatement.

I deeply believe that her intentions are great and that the reason she holds this truth is in order to support her young women to seek outside of themselves in the Word of God.  I understand that.

My issues, however, goes back to my first question…

1. If God is a perfect God, how can He create anything other than perfect?

Wayne Dyer’s description comes to mind here.  He says that if you have an apple pie and you take a piece from the pie, you will always have apple pie.  The slice of pie, even though removed, will ALWAYS be apple pie.

My question then is, If I come from a perfect God, aren’t I already perfect?

I’m by no means suggesting that every action I take is perfect and holy.  I am suggesting, however, that I am enough and I’m born into greatness.  If I come from an amazing God, then by default, I am amazing.  Because I am born.

I’d love your thoughts.  I know this is going to open up some incredible discussions or at least spark some intriguing thoughts.  This is a much deeper conversation and I intend on opening up the lines of communication.  I believe it is time to stand in what I believe is true.

By the way, if you have any question about my opening line, please know that it is absolutely not the case.  I do know how amazing you are.  My prayer is that you know as well.

I know one of my biggest fears has always been recognizing how great I really am.

Most of us have been raised to be average, not great, just average.  We might be told we’re wonderful and then when we dream big dreams we are told why they wont work or what is wrong with them.

As I move forward on my journey, I’m embracing the greatness within more and more each day.  I know that there is a bright light that is shining within and it is ready to come out and be seen and shared with the world.

I believe Marianne Williamson says it best in Our Deepest Fear:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so
that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest in the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
As we let our own Light shine,
we consciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.”

So, I ask you, what are you afraid of?  For me, the only thing I fear now is keeping this light inside to myself.  I have a gift that I’m meant to share and share is what I plan to do.

What will you do?

photo courtesy of urbanmkr on flickr

An apostrophe (‘) and a space ( ) make all the difference…

A dot with a little hook and nothing at all.  Two things that seem non-essential, yet are very profound when we allow them to be.

I remember the first time I heard the shift from “impossible” to “I’m possible”.  It caught me by surprise and naturally I thought how stupid it was.  It’s just a silly play on words.  It can’t possibly make that much of a difference.  Besides, “I’m Possible” doesn’t make much sense anyway.

Or so I thought.

We are conditioned on so many things and one of them is to see the word impossible and allow it to stop us.  If we are told that something is impossible, often we don’t question the validity and instead just assume that it holds true.

Yesterday we celebrated Martin Luther King, Jr. day and I’m certain that he heard the word impossible many times throughout his short life.  Imagine what a difference it would make if he didn’t realize that what he wanted to do was possible, he just needed to insert himself (I’m).

“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” ~ Audrey Hepburn

When we shift from impossible to asking what is possible, we shift from stopping to going.  We shift from no options to an open book.  By simply adding an apostrophe and a space, our entire world opens up to new possibilities.

Instead of focusing on the conditioning that we grew up with, focus instead on the possibility.  Focus on the “I’m” in impossible.  You ARE possible.  In fact, you are the only thing that matters.   The world needs you now and it is up to you to add the apostrophe and the space.

Please share >>>  what will you focus on knowing “I’m Possible”? 

Ugh.  I’m NEVER sick.

As the statement comes out, the word wizard in me says “I mean, I’m ALWAYS healthy.”

Well, almost always.

I usually find myself highly attached to the tissue box approximately once every 2 years.  What I’ve learned is that the box comes a callin’ when it is time for me to take some serious, often hard, action toward creating the life I desire.

Maybe you read about my non-conforming dislike of resolutions and found that this year I’m focusing on being ‘intentional’.  I’ve also shared how I’m very specific and pay close attention to my environments (everything that surrounds me – people, places, things) and that if it doesn’t serve, I let it go to make room for something new. Taking these two things into consideration, I KNOW I have a couple hard (uh-hem…challenging) decisions to make.  In fact, in my head, I’ve already made them.  I just need to voice them and share the news with the people that my decision may affect.

Enter sore throat turn stuffy head turn sinus infection turn cold.  (think dry, cracked and painful nose)

What does a ‘cold’ have to do with self empowerment lessons?

EVERYTHING!

The Universe likes quick action.  I made those decisions that I KNOW will serve me best and I haven’t actually taken action yet.  In comes the Universe to basically pull a “Dr. Phil” on me and tell it like it is.

Universe speaking to me >>> “Jen, if you don’t take care of exactly what you know you need to take care of, I’m going to force you to take care of things and slow you down until you DO take care of them.”

You see, I believe that we receive messages first in a whisper, then a little louder and then even louder.  If we don’t listen the first couple of times, larger measures are taken in order for us to hear AND listen to the message.

We ALL receive these messages – all the time.  Generally, I pay close to attention to the messages but clearly, sometimes I don’t.  I can assure you, I’m listening and am taking action NOW!

What message is in your life that is attempting to get your attention?  It may be time to slow down before you get knocked down.

I’d love to hear your stories about how the Universe has spoken to you.  Please share.

As the excitement and buzz die down from the New Year’s Eve parties, we are left standing with one foot in 2011 and one foot in 2012.

What’s next?

What does 2012 hold?

What do I want to accomplish over the next year?

Why does is matter?

Do I really need to care about it?

You may be asking yourself one, all or none of these questions.  I would venture to guess, though, that you, like most people, are at least considering some thoughts as you step forward into the New Year.

Of course, I’m the same way.  I ask the questions, consider my options and ultimately decide on choices that make sense for me.  This year, like last year, I’ve decided on a theme to how I want to live out my life over the next year.  (**Insert crazy and loud drum roll**)

INTENTION

This year I am choosing the theme of intention.  Within this theme, I will focus on 3 main principles.

1. Forgiveness
2. Gratitude
3. Love

It is my intention to have every action be based in forgiveness, gratitude and/or love.  I know that each leads to the next and to step forward the way I would like, I am choosing to be very intentional about how I live my life.

This hasn’t been a quick decision.  In fact, I’ve spent a bit of time determining the theme along with the words that I’m basing my actions in.  I choose them because I feel they each hold a very significant piece to our life here on Mother Earth.

Forgiveness

I firmly believe that forgiveness is our highest lesson to learn and embrace.  It’s easy to have gratitude and love others when there are no stones being thrown.  I don’t believe we are here to live easily, though.  I believe we are here to learn and embrace great lessons and that we are given new, different and changing circumstances in order to have more learning experiences.  With this is mind, we all have people that we can and need to offer our forgiveness.  Sometimes the most important person we need to forgive is ourself.

As others hurt us, it’s easy to hold tightly to that hurt feeling and not want to forgive.  We might feel like we have given up.  We might feel defeated or we might feel like we have simply let them walk all over us.  I encourage your to explore forgiveness.  I believe we are all connected and I am going to choose to receive the lessons and offer my forgiveness to those that may hurt me.  In doing so, I’m really offering my love to myself (as well as those around me).  I see it as a choice to “be the change” instead of live in the pain.

Gratitude

I believe that gratitude is our highest vibration, or highest form of energy.  When I am living from a state of gratitude, I’m choosing to focus on the good I have in my life along with what I know is on it’s way.  I once heard that it is easy to be in gratitude for what you have already, but it takes a master to be in gratitude for what’s to come, what you can’t yet see.  This is why I am choosing this as one of my actions.  I firmly believe and KNOW that as I am more grateful, I am given more to be grateful for.  By intentionally living in gratitude I am living in a space that opens me up to receiving opportunities, gifts, insights, etc.  In doing so, I open myself up to living a fully filled life while enjoying the many blessings along the way.

Love

I once thought the song “All You Need Is Love” was lame.  Now, I know that love is our ultimate and highest calling.  Love with a service to others is why we are here.  We aren’t brought into this world to see how much money we can make, to climb the most ladders, to wear the best clothes (although, that’s fun, too!).  Instead, we are brought into this world as an expression of love and for love.

As I step further into forgiveness and gratitude, love is an automatic result.  As my heart has softened and opened up, especially this past year, I’ve found myself more compassionate and loving of those around me.  Love is our natural state.  We are born into love and love is easy for us.  Sometimes we get tricked into believing that it is hard when really, all that has happened is that we’ve allowed ourselves to get caught up in the material frenzy that society teaches us we need to participate in.  When we step back and actually SEE people, we reconnect with the fact that we ARE ALL people and as beings, we desire to know that we are loved and accepted.  We want to know that we matter.

With intentional action, I am choosing to view others with love and in love because in the end, you are all my brothers and sisters.  As a direct reflection of myself, I choose to love you as I love myself.

Moving forward…

What does this mean as I step bravely and boldly into the New Year?  I’m not sure.  What I do know is that by living with intention and focusing my actions on forgiveness, gratitude and love, I’ll be spreading the message that I can be proud to spread.  I don’t know how this year will unfold and I know that I don’t need to know.  All that I need to do is commit to living my life and business intentionally while serving others and the rest will unfold exactly as it needs to.

I’m excited, blessed and grateful to be on this journey with you.  Thank you for being here with me.  Cheers to 2012!

I’d love to know how you started your New Year.  Did you commit to resolutions?  Create a vision board?  What do you choose for 2012?  Please share!