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		<title>Positive Mindset Is The Key To Happiness And Success</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/positive-mindset-is-the-key-to-happiness-and-success</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 24 Feb 2017 03:46:54 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manifesting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mindset]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Success Formula For Change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[does happiness lead to success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[does success lead to happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding fulfillment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fulfillment leads to success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happiness and success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindset and happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindset and stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindset and success]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the happiness advantage]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2908</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Did you know that success is a product of happiness – not the other way ‘round? According to former Harvard professor and author Shawn Achor, we’ve been thinking about success and happiness backward for millennia; that hard work and success will lead to happiness. As he explains in his book The Happiness Advantage, and this [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/positive-mindset-is-the-key-to-happiness-and-success">Positive Mindset Is The Key To Happiness And Success</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-2909" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/21289388_ml-300x211.jpg" width="700" height="492" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/21289388_ml-300x211.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/21289388_ml-768x540.jpg 768w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/21289388_ml-1024x720.jpg 1024w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/21289388_ml.jpg 1634w" sizes="(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px" /></p>
<p>Did you know that success is a product of happiness – not the other way ‘round?</p>
<p>According to former Harvard professor and author Shawn Achor, we’ve been thinking about success and happiness backward for millennia; that hard work and success will lead to happiness. As he explains in his book <em>The Happiness Advantage</em>, and this highly entertaining <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work"><strong>Ted Talk</strong></a>, such thinking is exactly the wrong path to success – and happiness.</p>
<p>With more than a dozen years of research into positive thinking to back him up, Achor is an advocate for cultivating a positive mindset as the key to happiness, which will make success a virtual given. Not only that but, further research by Achor and others has gathered evidence that changing one&#8217;s mindset about stress changes the physical effects of stress.</p>
<p><strong>The Science of a Happiness Mindset</strong></p>
<p>Research done at Harvard has shown that your negative reaction to stress can be changed, through methods of positive thinking and improved stress management techniques and skills. In other words, if you train yourself to see stressful situations as challenges to be met rather than walls to stop you, a situation to overcome rather than an impossible barrier, you are far more likely to experience “good” stress rather than “bad” stress in that situation.</p>
<p>You see, in virtually every stressful situation your body will respond in a certain way: an elevated heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, faster breathing, muscle tension, and increased perspiration. This is your body’s natural response to the need to act; the “fight or flight” response in all of us.</p>
<p>However, in the case of negative stress, your blood vessels will also contract and your trepidation will grow. Conversely, in a positive stress situation, your blood vessels remain open and your brain offers a chemical response as well, releasing the same hormone (dopamine) that surges through your body when you experience joy!</p>
<p>You see, your brain works far more efficiently, in virtually every situation, when you approach each day with a positive attitude. This means a positive outlook leads to increased success; or rather, that your inherent happiness empowers you to work harder, faster, and more intelligently.</p>
<p>As a result, the old maxim that, “If I work harder I’ll be more successful, and if I’m more successful then I’ll be happier”, is turned on its head; for the opposite is true! Happiness leads to increased productivity and greater success!</p>
<p>It’s this type of positive mindset for which I advocate, and that I outline, in my <a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/products"><strong>FATE Blueprint Workbook</strong></a>; a path to help you view stress in a more positive, more useful way, and to discover your own power to deal with stress more effectively, leading you to a more positive outlook and mindset.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re having trouble convincing yourself to think positively about your body’s stress response, <a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/contact-us"><strong>get in touch with me today</strong></a> for help coping with stress.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/positive-mindset-is-the-key-to-happiness-and-success">Positive Mindset Is The Key To Happiness And Success</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>5 Most Common Limiting Beliefs To Overcome</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/5-most-common-limiting-beliefs-to-overcome</link>
					<comments>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/5-most-common-limiting-beliefs-to-overcome#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Aug 2016 13:53:41 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fate Blueprint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beliefs that limit us]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[finding happiness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to overcome limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative belief systems]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rediscover joy]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2903</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>I’ve written extensively about the effects of limiting beliefs and how to overcome them. I’ve even gone so far as to create the FATE Blueprint Workbook, as a tool to help you overcome your own limiting beliefs. Yet, far too many people either avoid or rationalize the belief system they’ve developed; as a way to [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/5-most-common-limiting-beliefs-to-overcome">5 Most Common Limiting Beliefs To Overcome</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-2905" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Dollarphotoclub_52240713-300x286.jpg" alt="Enjoyment. Free Happy Woman Enjoying Nature. Girl Outdoor" width="450" height="429" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Dollarphotoclub_52240713-300x286.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Dollarphotoclub_52240713-768x733.jpg 768w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/Dollarphotoclub_52240713-1024x977.jpg 1024w" sizes="(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px" />I’ve written extensively about the effects of limiting beliefs and how to overcome them. I’ve even gone so far as to create the <a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/products"><strong><u>FATE Blueprint Workbook</u></strong></a>, as a tool to help you overcome your own limiting beliefs.</p>
<p>Yet, far too many people either avoid or rationalize the belief system they’ve developed; as a way to get through life with lowered expectations and, therefore, fewer chances for disappointment and/or conflict.</p>
<p>I find this kind of thinking sad, especially since <strong>it is possible to overcome limiting beliefs and find real happiness</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>What are limiting beliefs?</strong></p>
<p>Limiting beliefs are those closely held convictions which constrain us in some way. Just by believing them, we do not think, do or say the things that they inhibit and, simply by holding them so closely, we diminish ourselves and impoverish our lives.</p>
<p>More than anything, your limiting beliefs will destroy your self-esteem, ruining your belief in your own ability to make the changes in your life that lead to happiness and fulfillment. This is, of course, self-defeating; for <strong>who else can take the steps required for you to be happy? Only you can do it!</strong></p>
<p>With that in mind, here are the 5 most common limiting beliefs that you must overcome if you hope to live a happy life:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>I don’t deserve happiness</strong> – because I’m not good enough.</li>
<li><strong>I&#8217;m nothing special</strong> – because I’ve never accomplished anything exceptional.</li>
<li><strong>I hate my looks</strong> – and can do nothing to change.</li>
<li><strong>I&#8217;m too weak</strong> – and will never find the strength to change.</li>
<li><strong>This is all there is</strong> – and this is as good as it gets.</li>
</ul>
<p>I go into much greater detail in the workbook but, it must be said that, simply by identifying which of these common limiting beliefs you are struggling to overcome, you will begin to transform your life. After all, <strong>recognition of a problem is the first step to mastering it</strong>.</p>
<p><strong>NOTE:</strong> It must also be said that, while the particular beliefs you hold that limit you may not exactly match those listed above, it is highly likely that you are being affected by a variation of one or more of them. Please, do not rationalize your inability to overcome your limiting beliefs simply because they are not a perfect match with this list. Instead, determine which of these most closely represent the things you think and feel about yourself, and take action to change them.</p>
<p>The benefits of doing so are manifest, because overcoming your limiting beliefs is truly empowering, enabling you to:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Think more of yourself, rather than less</strong></li>
<li><strong>Expect more of yourself, rather than less</strong></li>
<li><strong>Find peace, fulfillment, joy, and happiness</strong></li>
</ul>
<p>If these are qualities of life that you would like to discover – or rediscover – click here to get your copy of the <a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/products"><strong><u>FATE Blueprint Workbook</u></strong></a> today!</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/5-most-common-limiting-beliefs-to-overcome">5 Most Common Limiting Beliefs To Overcome</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>Spirit Guides And Angel Readings</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/spirit-guides-and-angel-readings</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jul 2016 00:51:46 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guardian Angels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spiritual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Angel Readings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spirit Guides]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2899</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>For most of my life I have been in touch with my guiding Spirits and Higher Self. I tried to turn off these visions when I was a child because I found them to be a bit unnerving, and did not understand what was happening or how to use my gifts. As an adult I [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/spirit-guides-and-angel-readings">Spirit Guides And Angel Readings</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-2900" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/bigstock-Golden-Angel-Wings-on-golden-b-118326029-300x168.jpg" alt="- Wide golden brown bokeh background with a large pair of Angel Wings on the right side and a shaft of bright light between" width="450" height="252" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/bigstock-Golden-Angel-Wings-on-golden-b-118326029-300x168.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/bigstock-Golden-Angel-Wings-on-golden-b-118326029-768x429.jpg 768w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/bigstock-Golden-Angel-Wings-on-golden-b-118326029.jpg 900w" sizes="(max-width: 450px) 100vw, 450px" /></p>
<p>For most of my life I have been in touch with my guiding Spirits and Higher Self. I tried to turn off these visions when I was a child because I found them to be a bit unnerving, and did not understand what was happening or how to use my gifts. As an adult I have learned and been guided to understand what my connection is all about, and how to use it to best connect to my Higher Self, Spirit Guides and Guardian Angels.</p>
<p>I have been guided by my Teachers to incorporate Mandala and Angel readings into my Spiritual practice as one way of being a conduit for others to receive messages and guidance from their Guardians as well. These cards are unique in that this is the first introduction of these particular Japanese Mandala Cards in Canada as well as globally, as they are designed by Mineo Akiyama and my Shaman, Craig Junjulus, in Sedona, Arizona.</p>
<p>Mineo Akiyama is a gifted artist who allows the energy and spiritual vibrations around him to flow through his pen, creating these beautiful and intricate Mandalas. Mineo Akiyama’s inspirational art is meditated upon and read intuitively, to create this powerful system of divination: leading the way for us to discover new worlds within ourselves and to connect to our spiritual source.</p>
<p>Craig Junjulas is a brilliant metaphysical teacher who channels higher vibrations to empower his students with Intelligent and Powerful Guidance. Journey into higher dimensions through the spiritual doorways of 64 inspirational Mandalas. •Clarify life issues and goals •Make superior decisions •Improve your actions •Expand your mind •Increase awareness •Awaken intuition •Connect to your spiritual guidance.</p>
<p>These unique Mandala oracle cards offer you a phenomenal tool for creating a better life and for spiritual enrichment and personal growth. More than mere symbols, the Mandalas are repositories of knowledge and operate at various levels simultaneously.</p>
<p>For more information, please contact me at Cheryl@integritycounsellingservices.com.</p>
<p>Namaste</p>
<p><strong>About Angel Readings</strong></p>
<p>Cheryl connects with the Angelic realm through different modes. She channels them through her claircognizant abilities as well as reading angel oracle cards, which provides messages for her to interpret for her clients. These messages are from the Angelic realm and provide the client with information, insights and encouragement about what they need to know.</p>
<p>When referring to Angels and the Angelic realm, Cheryl is referring to a collective consciousness of energy that has been identified to her as various Archangels and Angels and Ascended Masters. This in no way refers to religion, as any collective consciousness of energy has no religious affiliation. Cheryl can work with Kwan Yin, Buddha, Ganesh, Abraham, etc., as well as Michael, Raphael, Gabriel, etc&#8230; The names make no difference. This collective consciousness transcends all religions, has no space/time continuum to deal with, so can provide support for anyone or everyone at the same time. It is energy and its presence is unique to everyone. These are labels that help us decipher whom we are calling on, whether it be protector, healer, teacher, etc.</p>
<p>Cheryl has been connecting with the collective consciousness since she was a child but did not understand what was happening at the time. After years of guidance and nurturing of her abilities, Cheryl now can readily access and interpret her Guides messages. All of the work that Cheryl does with her connection is only from the stream of well-being energy. This is loving and uplifting guidance and in truth, is the only energy that we connect to from Spirit. The Guides will tell you what you <strong>need </strong>to know, not necessarily what you <strong>want </strong>to hear or know. The messages are about what is most pressing for you to know, at this time. That is the beauty of this, it is the best and most accurate guidance you can receive for your well-being and journey on your life path.</p>
<p>You can have an individual reading or invite friends over for readings. Each person will receive an individual reading, so if you are having a get-together, personal or work function, consider offering Angel readings to your guests! Everyone will enjoy them! Package pricing is available on groups of 4 or more.</p>
<p><strong>Love, Light and Peace!</strong></p>
<p><strong>Cheryl</strong></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/spirit-guides-and-angel-readings">Spirit Guides And Angel Readings</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>Goal Setting &#8211; How Your Goals May Be Limiting Your Ambitions</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/goal-setting-how-your-goals-may-be-limiting-your-ambitions</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Nov 2015 16:50:49 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Setting goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Goal setting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals and overwhelm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goals and stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how goals can be limiting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to set re4alistic goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[incremental goal setting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[learn to set goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting big goals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[setting small goals]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2863</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>We’ve all heard this saying many times in our lives: “She can’t see the forest for the trees”. The meaning is clear, that you can&#8217;t see the whole situation clearly because you&#8217;re looking too closely at small details, or because you&#8217;re too closely involved. Often though, the reverse is even more true, that you can’t [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/goal-setting-how-your-goals-may-be-limiting-your-ambitions">Goal Setting – How Your Goals May Be Limiting Your Ambitions</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-2865" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Dollarphotoclub_92321615-300x186.jpg" alt="A Goal Without a Plan Is Just a Wish sign on desert road" width="520" height="323" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Dollarphotoclub_92321615-300x186.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Dollarphotoclub_92321615-1024x636.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 520px) 100vw, 520px" />We’ve all heard this saying many times in our lives: “She can’t see the forest for the trees”. The meaning is clear, that you can&#8217;t see the whole situation clearly because you&#8217;re looking too closely at small details, or because you&#8217;re too closely involved.</p>
<p>Often though, the reverse is even more true, that you can’t see the trees for the forest; that you&#8217;re so focused on the larger picture that you&#8217;re unable to cope with the details. In goal setting, it’s easy to get lost in, and even overwhelmed by, the Big Picture; that Ultimate Outcome that you’ve set for yourself but which can lead to stress and the inability to take action toward that ultimate goal.</p>
<p><strong>How goal setting may lead to overwhelm</strong></p>
<p>In an article at <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201104/why-goal-setting-doesnt-work" target="_blank"><strong>PsychologyToday.com</strong></a>, executive coach and author Ray Williams challenges the very notion of goal setting, and why it doesn’t work for many. “Our society,” he writes, “at both the individual level and in organizations, has an obsession with goal setting, particularly ‘stretch’ goals or ‘audacious goals’. We tie goals to accomplishment. In our culture, an individual or organizations cannot be considered successful unless goals are achieved.”</p>
<p>While it’s not my purpose to delve as deeply as does Mr. Williams into the possible negative consequences of goal setting, I must say that his article is enlightening. No, my purpose here is to help you overcome the stress and sense of overwhelm that can result from over-focusing on Big Picture Goals.</p>
<p>According to the “experts”, when setting goals for yourself, you should always include The Big One; the Dream-Come-True objective that will lead to happiness and success. From there, you will need to generate a list of smaller accomplishments that will help you reach that Ultimate Goal – and Nirvana.</p>
<p>For most, the problem develops when they are unable to take their eyes off the Big Goal to focus on the list of lesser accomplishments that will enable them to reach it. The sense that “I’m not getting there” can become overwhelming, leading to increased stress and disappointment in one’s self.</p>
<p>To overcome the overwhelm you feel when this happens, focus on these <strong>5 effective goal setting tips</strong>;</p>
<ol>
<li><strong>Be specific – Realistic goals work best.</strong> Even when you&#8217;re setting up your Big Dream, it must be attainable, lest you set yourself up to fail. Instead, <strong>think of your Big Goal exclusively as motivation when you&#8217;re struggling with the smaller, intermediate steps you’ve developed to help you get there</strong>.</li>
<li><strong>Be patient – Changing the habits of a lifetime does not happen overnight.</strong> You should expect it to take three weeks to a couple of months for your brain to become accustomed to the idea that this “New Thing” you&#8217;re doing is part of your regular routine.</li>
<li><strong>Be redundant – Repeating a goal to yourself</strong>, either in writing or by saying it aloud, will help to make it take hold. Every time you remind yourself of your goal, you&#8217;re re-training your brain to make it happen.</li>
<li><strong>Be selfish – Because trying to please others with your new behaviour will not work.</strong> It’s harder to stay on track and motivated if you&#8217;re doing something out of obligation to another person.</li>
<li><strong>Be forgiving – Of yourself when you fail.</strong> Mistakes are part of the learning process as you begin to re-train your brain into a new way of thinking. It may take a few tries to reach a goal but, that&#8217;s OK; it&#8217;s normal to mess up or give up a few times when trying to make a change. Just remember that everyone slips up now and then, and don&#8217;t beat yourself up about it. Simply remind yourself of your ultimate goal, and get back on track.</li>
</ol>
<p>I believe in goal setting, though most of us haven’t been taught to do it well. Like anything human beings try, goal setting requires training and practice. If you take the time to learn how to set goals for yourself, you&#8217;re bound to improve your life. For help with successful goal setting, my book, <strong><u><a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/products" target="_blank">Just Give Your Head a Shake</a></u></strong>, has a chapter on goal setting to improve self-esteem.</p>
<p>If you just can’t seem to figure out how to cope with stress and overwhelm no matter what you’ve tried, <strong><u><a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/contact-us" target="_blank">get in touch with me today</a></u></strong> for help coping with stress.</p>
<p><strong> </strong></p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/goal-setting-how-your-goals-may-be-limiting-your-ambitions">Goal Setting – How Your Goals May Be Limiting Your Ambitions</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>Why Change Is Frightening</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/why-change-is-frightening</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 01 Nov 2015 16:48:55 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Perceptions and Beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self improvement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Success Formula For Change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change can be frightening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[enabling change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fear of change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How to change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to make life changes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcome limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming irrational beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[why change is frightening]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2859</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>If you&#8217;re unhappy, it makes sense to make changes to your life that will lead to increased happiness. Yet change can be frightening, as evidenced that so few actually do make those changes in their lives. Understanding your fear of change is the first step to enabling yourself to change your life for the better. [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/why-change-is-frightening">Why Change Is Frightening</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-2860" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Dollarphotoclub_40891143-300x200.jpg" alt="Funny girl hiding behind a table" width="520" height="347" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Dollarphotoclub_40891143-300x200.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Dollarphotoclub_40891143-1024x683.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 520px) 100vw, 520px" />If you&#8217;re unhappy, it makes sense to make changes to your life that will lead to increased happiness. Yet change can be frightening, as evidenced that so few actually do make those changes in their lives. Understanding your fear of change is the first step to enabling yourself to change your life for the better.</p>
<p><strong>Overcoming the fear of change</strong></p>
<p>To a very great extent, children acquire a definition of acceptable behaviour through “modeling” the actions they see in others, mostly the adults around them. Hence, the label “role model” for those adults. These behaviours lead to deeply ingrained beliefs that are learned throughout childhood, both consciously and unconsciously. Naturally, the beliefs and behaviors you learned as a child have become the foundation upon which you built your life as an adult.</p>
<p>The thought of changing the very foundation upon which you live is understandably frightening; however, if the belief system you’ve used to construct your life is causing you harm, you must tear it down and rebuild it.</p>
<p>While it can be terrifying to realize that the beliefs upon which you’ve built your life are incorrect, that your concepts of love, friendship, commitment, and loyalty are simply wrong, the negative consequences of these ill-conceived beliefs and behaviors must be overcome if your goal is to find happiness. These beliefs are known as limiting beliefs, and my new <strong><u>FATE Blueprint Workbook</u></strong> offers a number of exercises to help you overcome them.</p>
<p>For now, know this:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Bad role models are powerful – just as powerful as positive role models</strong>. Destructive behavior is NOT “normal” behavior. If you grew up in a household where physical abuse was accepted, it may seem “normal” to you. It’s not! If abusive behavior and victimhood were the standard by which your parents lived, it’s perfectly understandable that you might build your life as an adult on the same model. Yet, while altering that perception can be frightening in the extreme, doing so is your only hope for happiness.</li>
<li><strong>Your sense of Self belongs to you – exclusively</strong>. Ingrained feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and shame, when implanted by others, are nothing but emotional blackmail, designed to force you to accept a relationship on the terms of another, without regard for your feelings, welfare or needs. These feelings have little or nothing to do with you and your behavior, but instead are a reflection of a lack of self-esteem and self-worth in the person who is using them to blackmail you emotionally. You must discard them – now – and move on.</li>
</ul>
<p>While it may seem rational to accept these belief systems based on experience, you must realize that they are irrational beliefs based on the irrational behaviours of the role models you’ve had in your life. They will only create and promote a vicious cycle of emotional destruction in you and, if you do not make changes, in your children too.</p>
<p>If you are having trouble trying to accept the reality of your own life, and with overcoming your limiting beliefs, <strong><u>get in touch with me today</u></strong> for therapeutic help in doing so.</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/why-change-is-frightening">Why Change Is Frightening</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>When Empowering Beliefs Become Limiting Beliefs</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/when-empowering-beliefs-become-limiting-beliefs</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Jul 2015 00:30:50 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fate Blueprint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to overcome limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how you perceive yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unconscious beliefs]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2845</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>The experiences you have in life go a very long way toward determining what you believe about the world, other people, and yourself. All of your perceptions, beliefs, and reality are the basis for your experiences, leading you to take action that you hope will benefit you in some way. However, there are times when [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/when-empowering-beliefs-become-limiting-beliefs">When Empowering Beliefs Become Limiting Beliefs</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2846" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Dollarphotoclub_83601135-300x200.jpg" alt="Happy couple drinking coffee in a local cafe." width="300" height="200" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Dollarphotoclub_83601135-300x200.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Dollarphotoclub_83601135-1024x683.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />The experiences you have in life go a very long way toward determining what you believe about the world, other people, and yourself. All of your perceptions, beliefs, and reality are the basis for your experiences, leading you to take action that you hope will benefit you in some way. However, there are times when positive beliefs, and actions you take because of them, can become limiting, leading to negative consequences and creating or reinforcing further limiting beliefs.</p>
<p><strong>Holding onto beliefs that no longer work</strong></p>
<p>For some 15 years Gloria lived the life of her dreams; happily married with a good career, and building a family with her high school sweetheart, Jim. Suddenly though, it all fell apart as she discovered her knight in shining armor had been cheating on her and now wanted a divorce. Needless to say, she was devastated by the infidelity – but also by the challenge of having to start over.</p>
<p>As she began to rebuild her life, as well as those of her children, Gloria determined that she would also have to make some internal, as well as external, changes. She soon came to realize that many of the things she’d believed about “Life” were not true and, in order to protect herself from further emotional damage, she decided that she would avoid serious relationships “for a while”.</p>
<p>This decision made perfect sense of course, in the turmoil of the moment. By avoiding the distraction dating and relationships, Gloria was able to focus on the physical and emotional needs of her children, as well as refocusing on her career. She was also able to spend time rebuilding the emotional damage she’d endured from the betrayal of her husband, and the thought that she had somehow been at fault for it.</p>
<p>Eventually feeling that she’d made acceptable progress toward emotional stability, Gloria began to consider dating again. She quickly determined however that the distance she’d placed between herself and the idea of trying a new relationship was impossible to overcome. The emotional void in her life had become a place of comfort and stability for her and the thought of leaving that place of emotional was frightening and stressful. The very thought of meeting and committing to someone new became anathema to her, causing panic attacks and abject trepidation at the very thought of dating.</p>
<p>The new belief system that Gloria had used so well to protect herself in a time of emotional distress, her belief in the power of emotional distance, was no longer serving her needs.</p>
<p>As I explain in my new book, <strong><u><a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/fate-blueprint">Blueprint for FATE</a></u></strong>, something that began as a positive way of coping turned into a negative life experience. The thoughts, feelings, and actions have been tailored to fit the experience that is a new, negative way of coping.</p>
<p>We should always be careful not to bring more negative experiences into our lives because of the methods we choose for coping. Don&#8217;t bring even more bad feelings, thoughts or actions towards yourself; rather, think of it as a way of coping that no longer works for you and is in need of change. And remember that you control your own feelings, actions, and thoughts, and how they create your experiences (your FATE).</p>
<p>If you would like to get professional help with meeting the challenge of overcoming limiting beliefs, <a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/contact-us"><strong><u>please get in touch with me today</u></strong>.</a></p>
<p><strong> </strong></p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/when-empowering-beliefs-become-limiting-beliefs">When Empowering Beliefs Become Limiting Beliefs</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>How Your Beliefs Are Limiting You</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/how-your-beliefs-are-limiting-you</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Jul 2015 00:16:52 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fate Blueprint]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to overcome limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how you perceive yourself]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming fear]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcoming limiting beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unconscious beliefs]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2814</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Limiting beliefs are those thoughts which you may hold very dear, yet which also constrain you in some way. Because you believe them, you will not think, do or say the things these thoughts inhibit. You may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions that restrain you from taking action, or from accepting action taken [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/how-your-beliefs-are-limiting-you">How Your Beliefs Are Limiting You</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright wp-image-2843 size-medium" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Dollarphotoclub_71949043-300x200.jpg" alt="Human Hand Marking X on Self Doubt and Check on Self Confidence in Check Box List. Isolated on White Background." width="300" height="200" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Dollarphotoclub_71949043-300x200.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/Dollarphotoclub_71949043-1024x683.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></p>
<p>Limiting beliefs are those thoughts which you may hold very dear, yet which also constrain you in some way. Because you believe them, you will not think, do or say the things these thoughts inhibit. You may have beliefs about rights, duties, abilities, permissions that restrain you from taking action, or from accepting action taken on your behalf.</p>
<p>While limiting beliefs can be about the ways in which you perceive others and the world around you, they are most often how you perceive yourself, and your self-identity.</p>
<p>Such beliefs often begin with a negative declaration, such as: I don’t, I can’t, I must not, I am not. By judging yourself negatively, in ways that mean you don’t “deserve” something (such as happiness or success), you restrain yourself from achieving many of your goals.</p>
<p>Yet limiting beliefs may also begin with what sounds like a positive affirmation, while limiting you further, for example: I am a clerk, which means you can never reach management, perhaps. The belief has limited your perception of your potential, restraining you from reaching it.</p>
<p><strong>How to overcome limiting beliefs</strong></p>
<p>As I go to great pains to explain in my new book, <strong><u><a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/fate-blueprint">Blueprint for FATE</a></u></strong>, limiting beliefs are generally ingrained into your subconscious early in life, making it very difficult to identify and overcome them through conscious thought and action. They lead to fear – of both failure and success.</p>
<p>This type of internal conflict can lead to a great deal of stress, and can create a vicious circle of distress and fear: the beliefs you find so limiting restrain you and, because you fear taking positive action on your own behalf, you reinforce the belief that you&#8217;re “not worth it”.</p>
<p>The steps required to overcome limiting beliefs are actually fairly simple, though challenging indeed, since you will be forced to explore your unconscious thoughts and confront your fears. Here are the four steps you must take to overcome limiting beliefs:</p>
<ul class="bullet-check">
<li><strong>Isolate the limiting belief</strong></li>
<li><strong>Find the source of the belief</strong></li>
<li><strong>Recognize the belief is false</strong></li>
<li><strong>Replace with an empowering belief</strong></li>
</ul>
<p>The Blueprint for FATE will provide you with exercises to help you reach your goal of overcoming the fear you feel because of your limiting beliefs. The good news is that you CAN do this, because you control your own feelings, actions, and thoughts, and how they create your experiences (your FATE).</p>
<p>If you would like to get professional help with meeting the challenge of overcoming limiting beliefs, <strong><u><a href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/contact-us">please get in touch with me today</a></u></strong>.</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/how-your-beliefs-are-limiting-you">How Your Beliefs Are Limiting You</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>PTSD Coping Skills And Strategies</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/ptsd-coping-skills-and-strategies</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 May 2015 14:00:15 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meditation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Post Traumatic Stress Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PTSD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[support]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2776</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Virtually anyone who has been exposed to an overwhelmingly stressful situation can experience the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. If this has happened in your life, you may need help learning to cope with PTSD. While it cannot be said that there is a “cure” for PTSD, you can learn to use Positive Coping Actions [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/ptsd-coping-skills-and-strategies">PTSD Coping Skills And Strategies</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2786" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Dollarphotoclub_64338067-300x197.jpg" alt="Young female meditate in nature.Close-up image." width="300" height="197" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Dollarphotoclub_64338067-300x197.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/Dollarphotoclub_64338067-1024x672.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Virtually anyone who has been exposed to an overwhelmingly stressful situation can experience the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. If this has happened in your life, you may need help learning to cope with PTSD.</p>
<p>While it cannot be said that there is a “cure” for PTSD, you can learn to use Positive Coping Actions to reduce anxiety and lessen other distressing reactions. Positive coping actions also improve the situation in ways that will not harm you, the survivor, further – and will do so ways that last beyond the moment.</p>
<p><strong>What are Positive Coping Actions for coping with PTSD?</strong></p>
<ul>
<li><strong>Education</strong> &#8211; Learning about trauma and PTSD is very helpful for trauma survivors. When you learn that PTSD is common, and that your problems are shared by so many survivors, you will also recognize that you are not alone, or weak – or crazy.</li>
<li><strong>Support</strong> – Seek support by talking to others. When you talk to others about your problems with PTSD, it’s not unusual for something positive to come of it. You should feel less alone and better understood and may even find guidance for coping with problem situations. Professional counsellors and support groups will better understand the effects and consequences of trauma, but even talking with a supportive friend or family member can be helpful in overcoming your challenges.</li>
<li><strong>Medical check-up</strong> – Working with your doctor to keep your body healthy will also help you cope with PTSD. At the very least, you’ll not have to deal with the additional stress of physical illness on top of your trauma symptoms. Your physician may also be able to help you find counselling.</li>
<li><strong>Meditation</strong> – Or other relaxation methods can help you cope, both in the moment and long-term. You may also wish to try muscular relaxation exercises, breathing exercises, swimming, cycling, jogging, stretching, yoga, prayer, listening to quiet music, spending time in nature, and anything else that helps you focus on the moment, rather than your trauma.</li>
<li><strong>Distracting actions</strong> – Using positive action to distract you from your trauma can be helpful. Artistic expression has been to be very helpful for survivors of serious trauma, as both a distraction and as a form of expression.</li>
<li><strong>Medication</strong> – Anti-anxiety medication is sometimes helpful to improve sleep, reduce anxiety, irritability, and anger, as well as reduce the urge to drink or use drugs.</li>
<li><strong>Counselling</strong> – In a culture that promotes self-help, counselling can sometimes be forgotten as a viable, helpful alternative. Yet, it’s not uncommon for symptoms of PTSD to worsen over time, to the point that these coping actions no longer work for you. Feeling fearful and depressed is common in such circumstances and, if you find yourself in such a place, calling a counsellor or therapist should be your next step.</li>
</ul>
<p>As a trauma survivor, seeking treatment and learning to recognize and understand the things that upset you places you in a far better position to cope with the symptoms of PTSD – in the moment and over the long term.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re struggling to cope with a traumatic experience in your life, and need help coping with PTSD or other symptoms of stress, <a title="Contact Info" href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/contact-us"><strong>please get in touch with me today</strong></a>.</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/ptsd-coping-skills-and-strategies">PTSD Coping Skills And Strategies</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>Coping With PTSD</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/coping-with-ptsd</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Apr 2015 14:00:52 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manage stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Post Traumatic Stress Disorder]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PTSD]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2779</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>Post-traumatic stress disorder has been in the media quite a bit for the past decade or so, largely due to media outlets focusing on the phenomena in veterans returning from wars in the Middle East. These reports have focused on the symptoms of PTSD, as well as therapies and treatments for PTSD. This is a [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/coping-with-ptsd">Coping With PTSD</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2783" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Dollarphotoclub_85130521-300x200.jpg" alt="Listen To Me" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Dollarphotoclub_85130521-300x200.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/Dollarphotoclub_85130521-1024x683.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />Post-traumatic stress disorder has been in the media quite a bit for the past decade or so, largely due to media outlets focusing on the phenomena in veterans returning from wars in the Middle East. These reports have focused on the symptoms of PTSD, as well as therapies and treatments for PTSD. This is a very good thing, since recognition of the condition has been slow in coming, with effective treatments lagging as well.</p>
<p>However, military personnel are not the only sufferers of what can be a seriously debilitating condition. In fact, virtually anyone who has been exposed to an overwhelmingly stressful situation can experience these symptoms, and should seek help learning to cope with PTSD.</p>
<p><strong>Identifying PTSD Triggers</strong></p>
<p>Virtually any serious traumatic event can lead to post-traumatic stress. Even witnessing a particularly violent event can cause symptoms of PTSD in those not directly involved. For example, young people who&#8217;ve seen friends attacked or killed in a school shooting will often present with PTSD in the aftermath, even when not directly targeted by an assailant. From that point forward, they may begin to experience many of the same feelings when in any stressful situation. Such situations are known as “PTSD triggers”.</p>
<p>Since the symptoms of PTSD rarely disappear completely, the ongoing challenge for survivors of trauma is to learn to cope with the symptoms, and the problems they cause. Identifying PTSD triggers is a critical step in treatment, and in learning how to cope with PTSD effectively. If you&#8217;re a trauma survivor, taking direct action to cope with problems will help you to gain a sense of personal power and control over stressful situations that might otherwise trigger a negative response. The phrase “active coping” means that you recognize and accept the impact of your traumatic experiences, and that you can take concrete action to improve your response.</p>
<p>Increasing your awareness of your PTSD triggers is one of these active coping techniques, allowing you to identify potentially stressful situations to avoid or enabling you to employ coping strategies you’ve adopted when in a situation that has led to trauma in the past. You can prevent or lessen the impact of certain PTSD symptoms by identifying what specific types of thoughts, feelings, and situations trigger them, then take positive, concrete action to limit the occurrence or impact of those triggers.</p>
<p>As explained by Joe Ruzek, Ph.D., at the website <a title="PTSD Support" href="http://www.ptsdsupport.net/ptsd_coping_skills.html" target="_blank"><strong>PTSDSupport.net</strong></a>, you should not think in terms of a “cure” for PTSD. Rather, “Recovery from PTSD is an ongoing, daily, gradual process. It doesn&#8217;t happen through sudden insight or ‘cure’. Healing doesn&#8217;t mean that a survivor will forget [traumatic] experiences or have no emotional pain when remembering them. Some level of continuing reaction to memories is normal and reflects a normal body and mind. Recovery may lead to fewer reactions and reactions that are less intense. It may also lead to a greater ability to manage trauma-related emotions and to greater confidence in one&#8217;s ability to cope.”</p>
<p>For more information on PTSD triggers, visit the <a title="About PTSD" href="http://ptsd.about.com/od/selfhelp/a/CopingTriggers.htm" target="_blank"><strong>PTSD.About.com website</strong></a>.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re struggling to cope with a traumatic experience in your life, and need help coping with PTSD or other symptoms of stress, <a title="Contact Info" href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/contact-us" target="_blank"><strong>please get in touch with me today</strong></a>.</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/coping-with-ptsd">Coping With PTSD</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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		<title>How Your Experiences Affect Your Perception Of Reality</title>
		<link>https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/how-your-experiences-affect-your-perception-of-reality</link>
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		<dc:creator><![CDATA[IntegrityAdmin]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 14 Feb 2015 17:46:28 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Counselling / Coaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Featured Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mental Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Perceptions and Beliefs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self improvement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Stress Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Toronto Stress Counsellor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coping with stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manage stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[objective reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perception and reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reduce stress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stress reduction]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/?p=2770</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[<p>A client walks into her therapists’ office in obvious distress. She is nearly incapacitated with grief, and is barely able to find the chair she always uses to sit and talk to her therapist. She is so upset, she is nearly suicidal; believing that the world is so filled with evil there is no sense [&#8230;]</p>
<p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/how-your-experiences-affect-your-perception-of-reality">How Your Experiences Affect Your Perception Of Reality</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2773" alt="Therapist taking notes on her patient on the sofa at therapy session" src="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Depositphotos_42937843_xs-300x200.jpg" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Depositphotos_42937843_xs-300x200.jpg 300w, https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Depositphotos_42937843_xs.jpg 424w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" />A client walks into her therapists’ office in obvious distress. She is nearly incapacitated with grief, and is barely able to find the chair she always uses to sit and talk to her therapist. She is so upset, she is nearly suicidal; believing that the world is so filled with evil there is no sense going on. Eventually, she is able to describe the event that took place earlier that caused her such anguish, and which made her feel so very hopeless.</p>
<p>Fearing she might indeed hurt herself, the therapist takes action. Cancelling her next appointment, she spends the next two hours working the woman off the precipice and bringing her back to a place where she can cope with the tragedy she witnessed, and helping her to feel hopeful again. After making a follow-up appointment for the next day, the therapist is comfortable allowing the woman to leave her office.</p>
<p><b>Objective Reality vs. Your Reality</b></p>
<p>The next morning, a man shows up for his bi-weekly session, obviously furious over something he’d witnessed the day before. His anger is palpable, with negative energy surging across the office as he enters and paces the floor. This is so unusual for this man that the therapist is at a loss for the possible cause, and asks him to sit and explain the problem.</p>
<p>As he begins to describe an event that took place the day before at the coffee shop around the corner, the therapist begins to understand that this is the same event that had caused the woman so much distress the previous day. She had seen the story on the news about a robbery gone wrong, in which three people were shot and had died. There had been dozens of witnesses in the coffee shop, all of whom had been threatened by the armed robber. Interviews with these witnesses had run the gamut from distressed to angry, but none had seemed hopeless to the degree that her client had the day before.</p>
<p>Now, this man whom she thought she knew so well, was so angry at the perpetrator of the crime he seemed almost homicidal himself. Setting aside her own thoughts about the stark differences in the reactions of these two people, she helped him work through his anger, finding ways to set it aside so that it did not cause him to do something he would regret, or continue to cause him pain. At the end of their session, she felt confident that he was again in control of his anger, though they did schedule an extra appointment for the next week.</p>
<p>The therapist was grateful that he was her last appointment for the day, as this gave her the time she needed to ponder the differences in the reactions of two of the witnesses to the tragic events of the day before: one who’d become hopeless after personally experience such barbarous behaviour, and another who’d wished he’d been armed so he could take action against the killer.</p>
<p>Both of these people witnessed the same event, yet their perception of it, and the effect it had on them personally were markedly different. “Why is that?” she asked herself.</p>
<p>The objective reality of the event from the day before was this: three innocent people had been victimized by a fourth, shot dead through no fault of their own. The man who killed them showed no remorse and fled the scene without pursuit. In other words, he “got away with it”.</p>
<p>This fact, that the “bad guy got away with it,” is what had angered the man so profoundly that he wished he could avenge the victims. For him, this lack of accountability and punishment stoked something deep within him that had caused him become almost uncontrollably angry. The therapist realized that, had the man been armed, he would have pursued the bad guy, perhaps putting himself and others in danger.</p>
<p><b>Examining your Response to Stress</b></p>
<p>For the woman who had come to her feeling so hopeless after witnessing this crime, the response was quite different. All she was able to focus on was the barbarity of the act and, finding herself unable to understand such heartless, inhumane behaviour, began to feel that her life had as little value as those of the victims, so “what was the use in trying any longer?” Why should she continue to try to “be a good person” when so many others lived such despicable lives?</p>
<p>What was the difference in the lives of these two people that caused such differences in their reaction to the same events?</p>
<p>The man had been raised in a military family and had been taught that everyone should be held responsible for their actions, and that holding others accountable for negative behaviour was a moral imperative that deserved swift, commensurate punishment.</p>
<p>The woman on the other hand, had been victimized as a child, sexually abused by a male relative. Seeing other defenseless people being victimized so casually the day before had caused memories of her own abuse and hopelessness to overcome her ability to cope.</p>
<p>So, which of these reactions correspond with the reality of the event the day before? They both do, of course. Seeing three people being directly victimized, while the witnesses were being traumatized, the man reacted the way he had been taught all his life, wanting to come to their defense. The woman, seeing people being brutalized with no ability to protect themselves, responded as she’d been taught as well, by feeling like a helpless victim.</p>
<p>The reality that each of us brings to any stressful situation will, to a very large degree, determine our response to that situation. If, because of your life experience, you’ve felt repeatedly victimized and powerless, you&#8217;re likely to feel that way in any high-stress situation. If however, because of your training and experience you tend to confront a stressful situation head-on and take action, you will be just as likely to do so again. Not having the wherewithal to do so though, may lead to frustration and overwhelming anger.</p>
<p>Would you like help with recognizing the reality you carry with you, and in reducing the stress in your life? If so, <a title="Contact Info" href="http://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/contact-us"><b>please get in touch with me today</b></a>.</p><p>The post <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com/how-your-experiences-affect-your-perception-of-reality">How Your Experiences Affect Your Perception Of Reality</a> first appeared on <a href="https://www.integritycounsellingservices.com">Integrity Counselling & Coaching Services</a>.</p>]]></content:encoded>
					
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