The Law of Volition states that your actions belong only to you, and the choices you make, the choice to act or not to act; the choice to do good, or not to do good; the choice to forgive, or not to forgive; the choice to be generous, or to be stingy; the choice to love, or not to love. Just as your choices belong to you and you alone, so do your actions belong to you and you alone.

Willful action is the exclusive purview of the conscious mind. There can be no such thing as arbitrary action where will, or volition, is involved. Arbitrary action from a willful mind is a contradiction in terms. It cannot exist. Therefore, you are responsible for all actions you take in your life, whatever the motivation.

For example, we regularly hear stories on the news of an “arbitrary act of violence” committed by someone. This is senseless – and meaningless. While the act may be random, where there is a will involved there can be no arbitrary act and, if we allow this contradiction to exist, we absolve the actor of responsibility. This can only lead to chaos and confusion.

The Law of Volition and Responsibility

Since human beings are willful actors, they are, and must be held responsible for, all of their actions. While there may be mitigating circumstances, at times, the man who beats his wife is responsible for his actions. For whatever reason, he chose to act violently and must take responsibility, and suffer the consequences, for his actions. For the woman who grew up the child of alcoholic parents, her choice to drink and drive as an adult is a willful act on her part, and she is responsible for that choice.

The choice to live a life of forgiveness and understanding does not mean you should absolve others of responsibility for the choices they’ve made, or the actions they’ve taken. It also does not absolve you of that responsibility. Understanding the motivation of another person is one thing, giving them a free ride to act poorly, or violently, or destructively, is not the same thing.

Spring is a powerfully transitional time in the Universe. What better time could there be for a spiritual “Spring Cleaning,” a cleansing of the Soul?

When we allow negative energy into our lives we create a backlash of negative Karma. When you think negative thoughts; when you display negative actions toward others; when you feel negative energy directed at others, you will inevitably promote the growth of destructive, negative Karma in your life. It is a very unhealthy way to live. As the age-old saying teaches, “What goes around comes around.”

Instead, at this time of Universal Renewal, it is best to meditate on loving energy for ourselves and others, especially those who would do us harm. It’s like a ‘spring cleaning’ for our souls.

How can you cultivate kindness this spring?

• Be grateful
• Be kind
• Be loving
• Be forgiving
• Be understanding

The Golden Rule is a Universal tenet that promotes positive Karma for everyone. Treat others as you wish to be treated, with kindness, understanding, and love, and be grateful for the life you’ve been given – always. Forgive others their mistakes, as you would like to be forgiven for yours. Let the positive energy of the Universe guide you, rather than anger, envy, jealousy, or self-doubt, and discover the beauty of positive energy in your life.

This will lead you to a feeling of internal renewal, a renewal within you to match the renewal you see in the world around you. You will allow the Universal Life Force to manifest internally, as surely as it does in Nature. What could be more beautiful than to have the internal You, your own sense of who You are, match the beauty and renewal of external world?

You set the parameters for a relationship and the other person either accepts or rejects them. If their terms conflict with yours, no relationship is possible. If their expectations exceed yours, no relationship is possible. If their demands are unreasonable, no relationship is possible. However, when your terms coincide, that is when serendipity takes place.

Of course, the other person has the same right to their terms and conditions that you have for yours. If you don’t fit into their life, for whatever reason, you can make no claim on them.

Shared Values and Mutual Respect

The foundation of the terms you set for any healthy relationship is the values you carry, and share. If your potential partner does not value the same things you do, what do you have in common? What will you be able to share? What is it that you care for in them, or love about them, if not the things they value; the same things that you value, as well.

Respect for the things which each of you values is where love begins. Shared values lead to mutual respect. Respecting that which your potential partner values, and sharing those values, is the basis of romantic love. Simply stated, without respect, love is not possible.

The man who abuses his wife does not love her. The wife who constantly belittles her husband does not love him. How do we know this? The lack of respect for their partners’ very existence is evidence enough. This violence, either physical or emotional violence toward a partner, makes this crystal clear.

Protestations and claims of love aside, it is impossible to abuse that which we value and respect. Therefore, if we abuse one another, we do not value, respect, or love one another.

Shared values and mutual respect are the foundations of any healthy relationship. If these are not present in your relationships, any of your relationships, perhaps it’s time to rethink your commitment to them. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

Do you regularly feel unhappy? Do you spend your days feeling angry and resentful? Are most people you meet “just too stupid to live?” You need an attitude adjustment. You need to make some changes.

Being unhappy and living in emotional pain is not the normal state of living for human beings. We all have the power to change, to become happy and, if you’ve decided that you’re tired of living life in the dead zone, you are ready to make a change.

Do you really want to?

To begin the process of change, you must first decide whether you really want to change. Many people express this desire, yet are unwilling to commit to the work to it requires. If you really want to change yourself, and your life, you need to commit, right now, to changing your beliefs and perspectives.

Practice forgiveness

If you never make mistakes you don’t need to read this. However, if you’re like the rest of us, you do make mistakes, and when you’re forgiven, you feel good. Practicing forgiveness, and sharing the good feelings that doing so will generate, is a great way to begin using the power to change.

Avoid resentment

Do not resent others for being happy when you are not. Instead, use these happy people as role models for the changes you wish to make in your own life. Do not envy others for the things they have that you do not. Instead, be glad for them that they are successful, and realize that by changing your attitude and becoming more positive, you are more likely to achieve the same things.

Be positive

And we don’t mean positively nasty all the time. What will it cost you to be more positive, anyway? Negativity is a huge energy suck and a black hole of stress. By constantly being negative you demean yourself and everyone around you. Please, don’t be that gal. Get positive about your situation – and your life – and you will see positive results.

You don’t have to live a miserable life. You can leave the emotional wasteland behind. By adjusting your attitude, beginning today, you will see the world, and yourself, in a whole new, wonderful perspective.

If you decide you need help with your attitude adjustment, Integrity Counseling Services would love to help you discover the ways that You Have the Power to Change.

1. Checking out. It can be challenging with the distractions of technology—computers, cell phones, portal music, etc.—to keep your attention on your partner. But if that person is worth keeping, he or she has to come first.

For example, it’s not uncommon to have a partner who spends hours in front of the computer without realizing it’s damaging to a relationship. In some cases, the communication becomes so disjointed between two people that all they want to do is check out when they are together.

If this happens, you’ve got to put playtime and spontaneity back into your relationship. Spend time together without looking at the clock. Turn off the computer and leave the cell phone in another room or turn it off completely. The two of you will probably find that removing distractions is a welcome break. Your relationship will grow stronger. Make it a habit to keep distractions to a minimum.

2. Drifting apart. Many people believe they can passively keep a relationship going without much effort. Unfortunately, drifting apart can happen if attention and thoughts are elsewhere. You’ll end up spending time together and playing the part, but you’ll feel like strangers.

If a relationship is worth keeping, you have to take control of it. Start by having an honest conversation and get on the same page. The next step is to spend quality time together and see if you can reignite the bond—make plans to do something fun or out of the ordinary, let your partner know what is going on in your life, and inquire about theirs. Often, people don’t show their true feelings on the surface. Yet, that ease of communication and intimacy comes from getting a glimpse into your partner’s world and vice versa.

3. Being too busy. Does your partner have too much on his or her plate? Perhaps being overworked or overscheduled so you’re the last one in line?

This type of partner may not be ready or capable of having a great relationship. If it seems like you have to schedule time together just to have a conversation, this is a warning sign. Most people show what they value most by how they spend their time. The strongest partners put loved ones first. If your partner doesn’t prioritize relationships, they could easily end up alone.

Busy people don’t often realize they are overbooked or overworked. Rather than tolerating someone who can barley give up a few minutes, let them know this is a problem. Perhaps they need help saying “no” and scheduling their time. If they do want a commitment from you, let them know things have to change.

All of these communication mistakes are solvable. It does take letting go of things that aren’t working and addressing the problem together, but a great relationship is worth it.

When this happens you might truly be in a difficult state and need some help, but this mental chatter can also happen in the best of times. If you’re feeling down, check in with yourself. Realize that your thoughts are driving your mental attitude. At any time you can take the wheel and steer your thoughts in a more hopeful direction.

Some people call this positive thinking, or even prayer. Another way you can think of it is that you’re taming the wild beast. As human beings we have mental chatter going on ALL the time. It is like a wild beast that gets out of control. The good news is that you can learn to recognize when the wild beast is running rampant. Notice how you feel and adjust your attitude. Instead of allowing the negative thoughts to fester, consciously decide to turn off the mental chatter.

Getting rid of mental chatter allows your authentic self to emerge. You are more detached and able to perceive life more clearly when your mind is quiet. Instead of thinking everything is about you and your story, you can see the bigger picture. True reality can only be experienced in the present moment. You’ll know the mental chatter (or ego) has less power when you’re no longer constantly ruminating over the past or the future.

An attitude of gratefulness and appreciation can send that wild beast running away. Plus, the more you practice, the easier it becomes to let go of mind chatter and embrace what is real.

What are some of the biggest differences between the two sides? The following are some of the pillars of a happy marriage:

Ÿ You are genuine friends. A good marriage is built on a solid friendship. Overall, both people should be getting their needs met from the partnership. Also, being genuine friends doesn’t necessarily mean you have a million things in common, but you do respect your differences.

• You are in love. Falling in love and being in love are two different things. When the passion settles down, you must learn to grow together. This can take some work and is a change from the excitement of romance, but with love is the rock of a healthy marriage
• You give to each other. A give and take from you and your partner is important. Giving includes listening, being attentive to each other, giving without expectation, and receptivity. All in all, you want to move through the ebb and flow of giving and receiving together.
• You don’t try to fix each other. Since you can’t fix or change another person, instead start with yourself. Go inward and notice what is wrong in your own life and how this might translate to your relationship. Choose to make your own changes, rather than pushing someone else to change. You teach people how to treat you.
• You learn to manage problems. When couples have problems, these issues cannot always be solved with a clean slate. Rather than getting upset because a problem is persistent, choose to manage it. Managing allows you to resolve conflicts and “agree to disagree” without having it be the end of the world.
• You are intimate together. Sex and intimacy are high on the scale of importance because they allow a deeper level of closeness and vulnerability with your partner that you don’t get with anyone else. The act of sex is part of this, but beyond it are other gestures that instill intimacy. Things like holding hands, hugging, caressing, and comforting each other are part of a fulfilling marriage.
• You communicate together. It has been shown that only seven percent of communication is verbal. This means that actions and non-verbal communication are an even bigger part of the picture. Be honest with yourself about your emotions and the messages you’re getting from your partner. This encourages him or her to do the same.

Remember too, that any marriage can be saved, but it does that two to tango. Both you and you partner have to be committed to saving the relationship. If you need help to decide what’s best for you, couples therapy or individual therapy can be very helpful. It’s never too late to have a happy marriage!

In this very moment you can experience living life to the fullest. It comes from aligning your energy to express all that you have inside to come to the surface. Even if you are experiencing difficulty, at this moment, you can change your life and start interacting with life in a whole new way. It means you’re not repressing, but expressing yourself fully and completely.

Most of us find that certain areas of life are fuller than others. Problems can arise when we get off balance and focus our attention on just a few problem areas. This might include balancing time, work, relationships, finances, health, and everything else that makes up your world. To live a full life you have to make choices that will create the best possible life for yourself.

It is never too late to life a full life. Do something kind and generous for yourself and others. Practice being relaxed and content with what you have now. These small changes can shift you into a life that feels grander and more wonderful. It is an appreciation of the ordinary moments, after all, that makes every day life fulfilling.

However, it can be done and the solution is really rather simple. Follow our 3 Ways to Break a Bad Habit strategy to see if you can break them on your own.

How to break a bad habit

Be conscious

Becoming conscious of when, and why, you perform these annoying actions is the first step to stopping them. Pay attention to when you do it, as well as the circumstances, if the action repeats itself regularly, say when you’re bored or stressed, then you can understand what triggers it. Also, try to become conscious of what you’re feeling when you do it. This may also help you understand your bad habit.

Write it down

Keep a log of your bad habit for at least one week. Once you have a baseline of your actions, you will be better able to understand the triggers for your annoying actions. Note the circumstances and emotional context as well, to help you make yourself even more conscious of the action.

Make a switch

As a quick fix, replace that annoying action with some other – less annoying – action. Stress the less annoying thing here folks. You don’t want to replace cracking your knuckles with biting your nails, right? Ideally, this replacement will be a temporary action, used to help you overcome the compulsive action.

“Meditation may also help break bad habits,” according to Janet L. Wolfe, PhD, a clinical psychologist. “Once you have identified the triggers, you can do meditation to distract yourself next time you are in a trigger situation.”

If you’re having trouble breaking bad habits on your own, even while using our 3 Ways to Break a Bad Habit, our personal coaching services may be able to help. Feel free to get in touch with us today to begin breaking those bas habits now.

(Excerpts taken from: 3 Easy Steps to Breaking Bad Habits, @ WebMD.)

Beginning in 2010, Bell launched a “multi-year charitable program dedicated to the promotion and support of mental health across Canada.”

One goal of the program is to reduce the stigma attached to those suffering from mental illness, including depression, anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder, psychosis, or schizophrenia. Fully two-thirds of those suffering from one of these conditions never seek help due to the stigma attached to mental illness.

Improving access to mental health care is another goal of the Bell Let’s Talk program. So far, Bell has awarded grants and contributions of more than $12.5 million to various mental health organizations, as well as implementing the Bell Let’s Talk Community Fund in 2011 which will “focus on improving access to care in local communities.”

Beyond these initiatives, Bell is focused on improving access to mental health care in the workplace, sighting mental illness as the leading cause of workplace disability in Canada.

The program also seeks to help fund research into mental health, community outreach programs to promote mental health initiatives, and has enlisted many partners, both corporate and non-profit, to participate in the program.

Lack of access to mental healthcare, the stigma attached to mental illness, and the lack of funding for research into mental health treatments are not unique to Canada. Communities worldwide suffer from the same conditions relating to mental health care. It behooves all of us to work to improve the attitudes of our fellows, and the funding of mental health care programs throughout our communities and the world.What does it mean to have good mental health?

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