Intelligent Designs

Comics Industry 2011 In Memoriam

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 04:24:00 +0000

Prepared by Keith Howell for AICN Comics @ aintitcool.com

Reblogging Zaki: TIME TRAVELER FROM 1998 WARNS US NOT TO ELECT NEWT

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:02:00 +0000

ZAKI'S CORNER with Zaki Hasan | News | Reviews | Pop Culture | Politics: Also From The Onion...: I'm normally loath to doing two Onion pieces in a row, but this one was just too hilarious not to post:

Time Traveler From The Year 1998 Warns Nation Not to Elect Newt Gingrich

WASHINGTON—Saying he came bearing an important message from the past, a stranger from the year 1998 appeared on the Capitol steps Thursday and urged voters not to elect Newt Gingrich president in 2012. "In the late 20th century, Newt Gingrich is a complete disgrace!" said the time-traveling man, warning Americans that 14 years in the not-so-distant past, Gingrich becomes the only speaker in the history of the House of Representatives to be found guilty on ethics charges, and is later forced to resign...

LORD OF THE JUNGLE #1 (Tarzan) Reviewed

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:50:00 +0000

LORD OF THE JUNGLE #1

Writer: Arvid Nelson

Artist: Roberto Castro

Publisher: Dynamite Entertainment

“Cowards! Scoundrels! How can you strand us here like this? After Lord Greystoke saved your life. How can you leave us here?” — Alice Clayton (Lady Greystoke)

Yes, dear readers, the “Lord of the Jungle” is Tarzan. If you don't know that then you should not even be allowed to read comic books anymore. Tarzan is also “Lord of the Apes”, “Lord of the Trees,” and “Lord Greystoke” (or more accurately “Viscount” but I won't go into that here. With the roar of a great bull ape, Tarzan comes to Dynamite with the LORD OF THE JUNGLE comic book. I come into this comic with the baggage of being a longtime reader of the Tarzan novels, comics, and viewer of the various films and TV series. It's a classic and archetypal feral man story with many different iterations and interpretations over the decades. My overall impression of the comic is positive.

As with many of Dynamite's series, the first issue has multiple variant covers, my copy is the Alex Ross cover. It's a dynamic cover design with a crouching Tarzan decked out in loin cloth, arm bands, wristbands, shoulder strap and wielding a knife. Behind him are a bunch of gorillas. The colors are a bit softer than I would expect, but it's still a nice cover. The “Lord of the Jungle” masthead is a strong design that looks carved from the wood of a tree.

Lucio Parillo cover

I expected the comic to set out on its own path with a quick origin recap, so I was surprised to find the comic appears to be actually adapting the original TARZAN OF THE APES novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs. And, in the pattern of modern comic book storytelling, they are adapting it over the course of several issues as this one comic barely gets through the first 3 or 4 chapters of the novel (and that's by ignoring the set-up with the mutiny on the ship that leads to John and Alice Clayton being abandoned to the coastline of the Belgian Congo).

As adaptations go, it is pretty faithful to the book. The passage of time goes quickly as John builds an elaborate tree house to keep his pregnant wife safe from the dangers on the ground. The primary danger is shown to be a tribe of aggressive and powerful apes. In the novels, they are called Mangani and are described as a previously unknown species of great apes that is somewhere in intelligence higher than gorillas (Bolgani) but lesser than humans.

Most adaptations in film and TV have just ignored this aspect and made the apes into gorillas for purposes of telling the story. I'm not sure, yet, where writer Arvid Nelson is going with his adaptation because the apes in this comic appear to be gorillas and communicate with your basic “ooh ooh” ape-talk rather than the Mangani language that Burroughs described. However, there is an interlude with some Bantu tribesmen entering the jungle who encounter a vicious tribe of man-eating ape-like creatures that are identified with this exclamation: “What are these things?! They're not apes, they're not men—what are they?!”

Ryan Sook cover

They look very much like some of Frazetta's ape-monsters. They look like apes but are taller and leaner than the apes seen elsewhere in the comic and they wear loin cloths, armbands, and use knives. So, I don't know exactly how the whole Mangani versus Bolgani thing is going to eventually come down in this title, but what I read is intriguing.

This issue covers the nearly 2 years in which the Claytons arrive in the jungle, have the baby, and then meet their end so that the baby, John, can be adopted by a female ape who has just had her newborn brutally murdered by the bull ape who leads their tribe. It's a familiar story and retold quite well (although I'm sure Nelson had to find it funny to be writing things like “Aah! Aah! Aah!”, “Rah! Rah!”, and “Ooh! Ooh!” into a script).

The art is reminiscent of Neal Adams' Tarzan covers and drawings without directly copying it. Clearly Adams and Frazetta are an inspiration to artist Roberto Castro in his approach to the this comic book. I am going to once again ring that bell I ring everytime I review a Dynamite comic book though. It would benefit from using an inker rather than coloring directly on the pencils. There are moments where it works, but most of the time the line work is lacking and the color is overcompensating. It's a well-drawn comic. It would be stronger with a good inker and more subdued coloring.

Paul Renaud cover

POSTSCRIPT: Most people these days seem a bit more knowledgeable about copyright issues than they were just a mere 10 years ago, so it probably isn't news to anyone about why Dynamite is publishing a “Tarzan” comic book without the name “Tarzan” in the title anywhere. In the briefest way possible, it boils down to fact that while the first few “Tarzan” novels have slipped into the public domain, thus allowing Dynamite (or anyone) to adapt and do derivative works based on those; the fact that these stories are public domain has no bearing at all on the “Tarzan” trademark still owned by the estate of Edgar Rice Burroughs. If Dynamite wants to stick “Tarzan” in the title they would have to get permission from, and pay a licensing fee to, the ERB estate. So, they chose a descriptive title that evokes “Tarzan” without violating the ERB trademark.

Being the nerd that I am, I made the mistake of reading the indicia at the beginning of the comic just to confirm for myself that there were no attributions to or permissions from the ERB estate. But what I did find was that “Lord of the Jungle” is listed not as a trademark of Dynamite Entertainment but of “Savage Tales Entertainment, LLC.” So, I tried to do a little research to find out just who “Savage Tales Entertainment, LLC” happens to be and what I found was a bit confusing. I couldn't find anyone publicly associated with “Savage Tales,” yet they appear to be out there just basically squatting on any unused publishing trademarks they can find. For example, I found “Savage Tales” claiming trademark ownership of Pete Morisi's “Peter Cannon, Thunderbolt”...since 1966? “Savage Tales” claims they own the trademark to “Charlton Comics”, “The Human Fly”, and other obscure marks like that. I don't know exactly what's happening, but it appears they are doing like web domain squatters but with trademarks. I sent a message last week to the attorney listed on the recent legal ruling In Re Savage Tales Entertainment, LLC just to ask for clarification. He was under no obligation to reply back...and he didn't. So, the best I can do is speculate. My best guess is that based on Dynamite's pattern of digging out old public domain characters and grabbing trademarks on new versions of them, that “Savage Tales” is a subsidiary of some sort (or a partner) with Dynamite and they function as the licensing subsidiary of Dynamite. That would offer some legal protection to Dynamite they might not otherwise have. Setting up “Savage Tales” as an LLC gives an even greater degree of personal legal protection.

That's my best guess. I would love to know for sure but information is hard to dig up online and the couple of people I contacted to ask about it either had no information or were unwilling to share. So, there you go. The comic's pretty good, but I have no clue what's going on with the whole “Lord of the Jungle” trademark thing.

84th Annual Academy Award Nominations

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:41:00 +0000

Well, the 84th Annual Academy Awards nominations have been announced.

Once again, I'm completely out of step with the Academy in their nominations for 2011. The full list is available here.

BEST PICTURE nominations go to "The Artist," "The Descendants," "Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close," "The Help," "Hugo," "Midnight in Paris," "Moneyball," "The Tree of Life," and "War Horse."

Of all of these, all I've even seen is "The Help." That's my usual pattern with the nominations for Best Picture for a number of years now -- I've usually seen one of them by the time the nominations have been announced. Last year was an anomaly where I had actually already seen 6 of them. Very unusual.

Without taking the time to look up information and just reacting from my gut, this is my take on the nominations in the order listed above.

THE ARTIST
I don't know what this is. Never heard of it. No clue who or what it's about. Don't know who's in it. So, the marketing of this has been a disaster as far as I'm concerned. Therefore, I have no interest.

THE DESCENDANTS
I don't know what this is. I saw some trailer for this one and I know it stars George Clooney (which probably means I'd like it to some extent), but I have no knowledge of the plot or anything else. At this point, however, I don't have any interest in it.

EXTREMELY LOUD & INCREDIBLY CLOSE
I at least have a clue about this one, but I can't muster any interest in seeing it. Other than requiring every American to see Peter Greenaway's UNITED 93 (2006), I don't really have any interest yet in exploring 9/11 in my movies. Not interested.

THE HELP
I have seen this one. It's good -- instant "classic" even. But there's a bit too much in the way of heavy-handedness to the directing. It was more of a very, very, good TV movie to me. I've watched it twice, though. It holds up. But was it really the best movie of 2011? Not to me.

HUGO
This I have not seen but really want to see. I suspect that, of the nominees, I will probably agree with this one as Best Picture. Everything I have seen of it speaks to me, I just haven't had the opportunity to see it yet. Maybe when it hits the discount theater.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS
Woody Allen. 'Nuff said. Not interested. He stopped making anything that spoke to me since RADIO DAYS and when he started banging his wife's daughter.

MONEYBALL
Sometimes a sports movie looks interesting to me. This is not one of those times. Zero x zero interest. I will never see this.

THE TREE OF LIFE
I thought the trailer looked interesting. But it came and went in the theaters too fast and I wasn't able to see it. Since then, I've sort of had my interest drained. I'll probably see it when it comes up on Netflix streaming.

WAR HORSE
Ugh. Look...I went to see SECRETARIOT. It was schlocky little melodrama, but I enjoyed it and all. But I just plain can not muster any interest in another melodrama about horses -- even if the hook here is to care about horses in WW2. I know it's supposed to be really, really good. But that has no bearing on whether I care at all about the premise enough to want to take the time to watch it. Spielberg never makes a "bad" movie. However, his degree of sentimentality and overly familiar flourishes often tarnish my interest at this point in his career. At least the horse doesn't talk.

In the ANIMATED category, the nominees are "A Cat in Paris" (never heard of it), "Chico & Rita" (never heard of it), "Kung Fu Panda 2" (great), "Puss In Boots" (seriously?), and "Rango" (horrible). The fact that the Academy did not include "Rio" and "Megamind" as nominees is a travesty.

In my opinion, the best movie of 2011 was RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES. That movie was smart, engaging, exciting, moving, and made me care emotionally about humans and apes. It was brilliant from start to finish with beautiful cinematography and a score that gives me chill bumps at times.

I would also throw MISSION IMPOSSIBLE: GHOST PROTOCOL and CAPTAIN AMERICA into the mix and add THOR and RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES to the Best Score category.

Then again... what do I know?: Why Some Web Sites Will Go Dark on Jan 18

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 04:18:00 +0000

Then again... what do I know?: Why Some Web Sites Will Go Dark on Jan 18: This Wednesday, January 18, 2012, many major web sites will "go dark" to protest the proposed SOPA and PIPA legislation in the U.S. How the...

Prof's 100 HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME! (Part 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 06:22:00 +0000

My wife was offended yesterday when I shared the FIRST 50 of my own personal "100 HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME" and I got past the "H's" without mentioning her. As I fumbled around trying my best to explain...this is a list of CELEBRITIES!!!! I don't think she bought it, but that's the best I can do on short notice. :)

So, moving forward....today, I present the SECOND 50 and after that, I will reveal the true choice of who is actually "the" hottest "Celebrity" woman of all time.

You see, the thing about "hot" versus "beauty" is that "beauty" is an "objective" standard and "hot" is a "subjective" standard that transcends beauty. I can recognize someone as objectively "beautiful" but she may do absolutely nothing for me beyond that intellectual recognition. But every now and then, and I believe it is a combination of their natural beauty combined with a charisma, air of intelligence, confidence, and something indefinable in their eyes, I find myself drawn to that person as a performer, artist, musician, or whatever in a way that I can only classify her as "hot." She has something that makes her stand out from those who are otherwise her equal.

That's what I'm having a bit of fun with here in listing those throughout my lifetime that have stirred that feeling in me, and quite a few of them are women who never show up in polls like these.

"THE TRUE 100 HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME!"

(PART 2: THE SECOND 50)

And there you go. I think these are the TOP 100 HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME and after some careful deliberation in which Naomi Watts and Charlize Theron battled it out with Raquel Welch and Ava Gardner for the top spot. Jennifer Aniston is "hot", but she's not even in the ballpark with these four. When it came down to it, I couldn't just choose one so I chose AVA GARDNER and RAQUEL WELCH as the HOTTEST WOMAN OF ALL TIME because they both are so different but so evenly matched in their timeless appeal. Since I don't have to make a "Sophie's Choice" here because there aren't any Nazis holding a gun to my head, I'm just going to recognize them both as undisputably "Hotter" than any other women in my lifetime (so far).

AVA GARDNER

RAQUEL WELCH

Prof's 100 HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME! (Part 1)

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 06:49:00 +0000

Am I going to let MEN'S HEALTH Magazine tell me who the "100 Hottest Women of All Time" are? No way in Hell. I'm not saying Jennifer Aniston doesn't rank, but is she truly the "Hottest Woman of All Time"?

Personally, I disagreed with quite a few of the rankings from the magazine. I suspect that my view of who is and isn't "hot" is slightly off the regular path for those short-sighted lemmings that compiled that list. Here is my own personal list of the "100 HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME"...and I simply rank them alphabetically because to rank them by degrees of hotness would just be offensive and sexist!

Today, I present the FIRST 50 and tomorrow (if all goes well) I will present the SECOND 50 and I will also present the true choice of who is actually "the" hottest of all time.

Hint #1: It ain't Jennifer Aniston.

Without further ado...

"THE TRUE 100 HOTTEST WOMEN OF ALL TIME!"

(PART 1: THE FIRST 50)

Stay tuned for the next 50 and my pick for the "Hottest of All Time".

Hint #2: There are 2 of them (1 in each group of 50).

Capt. Carrot & the Zoo Crew (redesigned)

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 30 Nov 2011 04:48:00 +0000

Just for fun! CAPTAIN CARROT & HIS AMAZING ZOO CREW!
with some slight costume tweaks (except for Pig Iron who is just...already visually perfect).

Showtime & Cartoon Network Present: DEXTER'S LABORATORY 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 07:15:00 +0000

Ray Bradbury: Story of a Writer

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 04:36:00 +0000

RAY BRADBURY: STORY OF A WRITER

This 1/2 hour film is from 1963 and was originally aired on television. It is a biographical sketch of the author, Ray Bradbury and I was shown this back in 7th grade at Travis Middle School in Temple, Texas. I still remember it vividly. The 16mm film click-clacking and the projection light flickering as the teacher (perhaps somewhat unwittingly) completely captured my attention and imagination. At that point, I had never heard of Bradbury and was not much in the way of a reader of science-fiction.

Within this film, Bradbury creates a brand-new short-story called "Dial Double-Zero" and it is dramatized as Bradbury reads it. The story completely creeped me out and I became fascinated by the imagination of Ray Bradbury. The next Saturday, I took my first trip to the Temple Public Library and wound my way to the card catalog to look up "Ray Bradbury." I tracked down the rather small "Science-Fiction" section of the library (a small room set apart from the "real" books) and found "The Martian Chronicles" and checked it out.

This began a life-long devotion to reading and enjoying science-fiction. This little film that easily bored most everyone else in my class but reached inside my head and heart and took hold of me.

For decades, I have tried to track down the story "Dial Double-Zero" and been frustrated. No matter where I went, I could find no record of the story ever existing. I even came to sometimes doubt my own memory about every seeing the film or hearing the story. I've often looked on the Internet for clues over the last 15-20 years and always come up short...until today.

I decided to give it another try as more and more information wings its way onto the web...and voila. I have found it! I did not have a false memory after all. Not only was the film and the story real, there was a reason all these years that I could never find the story referenced anywhere: "Dial Double-Zero" remains an unpublished story by Ray Bradbury.

So, if you want to read the story (and I highly recommend it), then you have to watch this video. I am embedding it here where you can just stream it, but you can also visit this website to freely download a digital copy (legally) for your own use or to burn your own personal DVD of this historical piece of television and literary history.

FLASH GORDON and CAPT. VICTORY Reviews!

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:48:00 +0000

FLASH GORDON: INVASION OF THE RED SWORD #6

Writer: Brendan Deneen

Artist: Eduardo Garcia

Publisher: Ardden Entertainment

“So....Hans...when we met at that boring dinner after the Olympics, did you ever think we'd end up like this?!” -- Flash Gordon

A rousing conclusion to a great story. I've raved about Ardden's FLASH GORDON series every chance I get and the conclusion to this mini-series is perfect. I don't want to give anything away but all the pieces come together in a very satisfying wrap-up (and like all good serials...a tease about an obvious future development). If I understand correctly, the next FLASH GORDON series from Ardden is not going to be a monthly pamphlet-style but a complete story in one larger graphic novel format.

I understand the market needs that make that the more viable way to get the story out there, but I will miss the serialized aspect of the monthly series. One of the hallmarks of this and the previous mini-series have been the masterful pacing and cliffhanger-style storytelling.

I can't really dig into it much deeper other than to say that I love the way writer Brendan Deneen writes the characters. They are recognizable as Flash and his supporting cast but they feel modern and relevant. The story is fun but also nuanced with moments given to characterization. Artist Eduardo Garcia stepped in with this story and has grown with each issue. He gets better and better. A fine artist with a good sense of how to tell the story in pictures.

Recommended for all ages.

CAPTAIN VICTORY #1

Writer: Sterling Gates

Artist: Wagner Reis

Publisher: Dynamite

“When you get to the gates of Hell, stand there and wait for my grandfather. I'll send him along soon enough.” – Capt. Victory

I really was disappointed in this one. I love Kirby's work on CAPT. VICTORY AND THE GALACTIC RANGERS, but I sure didn't care for this comic.

The story, as such as it is, begins with Capt. Victory (think Orion of the New Gods) being resurrected in a new cloned body moments after being killed in a battle (think Battlestar Galactica Cylons). There's some fighting, a flashback sequence to give us a taste of the hard defining moments in Victory's life that have led to his thirst for battle, and then they are called back by Galactic Command. A little teaser bit about his evil and powerful grandfather, Blackmass (think Darkseid), and the issue is done and the stage is set for the series.

Why didn't it work for me? The unfortunate answer is a combination of the writing and the art. The writing just didn't grab me and interest me in the story or the characters and the art was distracting on a number of levels. Victory himself comes off pretty poorly to me barking orders here and there. The other Rangers are pretty much ciphers with no real effort made to introduce them to me. Had I not some buried memories of who these characters were from my youth, then I wouldn't have had a clue...nor would I have cared.

I don't know if Alex Ross laid out the visual storytelling thumbnails, but I doubt that he did. As opposed to the GENESIS series, this suffers by really poorly structured pages, angles, and compositions. Superficially, the main figures usually bear the details well when they are super-hero-like with the heightened musculature. In those moments, they have a Brent Anderson quality to them that is fine. Unfortunately, the story calls for a lot of technological backgrounds and lots of figures wearing bulky sci-fi body armor and that's when the art really falls apart. The fault on this is something I lay on Dynamite's decision to obviously shoot from artist Wagner Reis's pencils rather than bring in someone to actually ink them. Not everyone's pencil art holds up to direct reproduction and nearly all the flaws in the art could have been fixed with a strong inker to clean up the scratchy lines and fix the inconsistencies in geometric angles and foreshortening.

The body armor moments are embarrassing. They look in no way like something a person could actually wear and the geometry of the armor is all over the place which makes the panel compositions almost impossible to decipher at times.

I know there's a school of thought these days that persists in perpetuating a myth that “inks” in the past were simply a way of making the line art able to be photographed for reproduction. That may have been how it was in the beginning, but beginning in the 60s, there was a generation of artists committed to inks only that did much, much more than trace the pencils. These artists came in and tightened the art up. They fixed those angles, they cleaned up the lines, they added shadows and texturing. In other words, they collaborated with the pencil artist to create something together that was greater than what either of the artists could produce alone. This was especially true in some instances where an inker could pick up the slack when a penciller came up short in anatomical or geometric accuracy. This comic is one that was desperately crying out for an inker to step in. The main figures are so different in quality from the rest of them that they almost, at times, look like they are pasted down on top of the art – like they were done separately and then added in. It is very odd and made the entire comic difficult to follow.

I wanted to like this one. Unfortunately, it's just mediocre at best and that's just not good for a Kirby concept like this one. This should be rocking my world.

STAR TREK/LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES - A Recipe for Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:27:00 +0000

STAR TREK/LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES #2
Writer: Chris Roberson
Artists: Jeffrey Moy (pencils) & Philip Moy (inks)
Publisher: IDW Publishing

===========================================
Ingredients:

1 Cup – Original Starship Enterprise crew (circa the end of the second season)
1 Cup – Legion of Super-Heroes (circa post-Great Darkness Saga)
1/2 Cup – Tommy Tomorrow and the Space Rangers
1/3 Cup – Borg
1/4 Cup – Khunds
2 Teaspoons – Klingons

Pour all ingredients (except the Original Enterprise crew and Legion of Super-Heroes) into a large mixing bowl. Amalgamize cross-dimensionally and mix in basic time-travel tropes.

Let sit until firm. Once you have built enough anticipation, add in the Enterprise crew and the Legion of Super-Heroes and a dash of cliffhanger and you have one of the most fun comic-book reading experiences an aging fanboy can have.

===========================================================================

I'm not sure at all how younger readers might respond to this, but I can't imagine anyone who grew up with the old STAR TREK and was reading comics during “The Great Darkness Saga” could have any complaints here. This is just plain balls-to-the-wall fun and adventure.

Even the art is not horrible, although I won't say it's as great as the material itself deserves, but it is most definitely the best interior TREK art I have come across at IDW. For the most part, the IDW TREK comics that I have encountered usually have a snazzy and excellent cover and then interior art that ranges from amateurish to just boring. The Moys do a good job telling the story here visually so that I could believe this was coming from DC and not IDW.

It's a step down from the Phil Jimenez cover art, but it is consistent, clear, and fun with a real sense that they are enjoying telling this story in pictures. When I get a sense of that from the art, it is infectious and makes me enjoy it all the more.

I don't want to spoil too many details, but the scenario for drawing these two properties together totally makes sense and offers us a glimpse of an amalgamized universe where the continuities of the old DCU and the old TREK universe existed together and splintered off into a very different 23rd Century. The first 2 issues of this 4-issue mini-series served to establish the mystery of how and why these 2 crews showed up in this alternate universe at the same time. And we get our pay-off for our patience at the end...but then we have to wait for the next issue to see what happens!

I will offer my guess that the unidentified “Emperor” of the Imperial Planets is not Spock (as I suspect they are trying to give that hint) but actually...Vandal Savage.

We will see very soon. Great stuff.

BIONIC MAN #4 Review

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 14:48:00 +0000

BIONIC MAN #4
Writer: Kevin Smith w/Phil Hester
Artist: Jonathan Lau (pencils) & Ivan Nunes (colors)
Publisher: Dynamite

“Colonel Steve Austin, a man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We're going to recreate the world's first, fully functional Bionic Man. Stever Austin will be that man. We'll make him better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster.” -- Oscar Goldman

I've met Col. Steve Austin...and you, sir, are no Col. Steve Austin.

After three ridiculously awful snails-pace issues that made me want to set my hair on fire, we finally get to the surgery. Most everyone knows at least the basics of the story, astronaut (well, test-pilot in this comic) Steve Austin crashes an experimental plane and loses an eye, one arm, and 2 legs. A top-secret government organization invests $6 million (a day, in this comic) to have his limbs and eye fitted with bionic replacements and a commitment by him to be their own, secret super-spy.

If you were a kid with a television in the 1970s, you watched it. If you're younger than 30, you probably only know it by reputation because the character and the basics of the premise (along with slo-mo running and neh-neh-neh-neh sound f/x) are a pop-culture touchstone now.

And now, at 45, I sit here trying to read a horrible attempt at updating the character for the modern day. However, this issue is at least a bit more readable than the previous 3 issues, mainly because it's essentially just the surgery, recovery, and training to control his bionics. It ends with Steve agreeing to join the OSS and take down villains like Bin Laden and Qadafi. So, I guess I'd have to say that if you haven't picked up the previous 3 issues, this is the place to jump on because they were all such inconsequential nonsense and gloriously bad that I can't in good conscience recommend them. But, even saying that, I don't mean to give the impression that this issue was good. Far from it. It's also pretty stupid. I can see where some of the elements in play were hashed out in terms of plot, it's just that the way the storytelling progresses, plus the stilted dialogue, is about as bad as some of those 50s' B-monster movies...but with pointless cursing added.

Beyond the fact that it just kind of stinks overall, I'm amused by the things that distracted me (always a bad sign in terms of quality of writing or art). For example, I am just assuming that part of the license Dynamite has here requires them to avoid the likenesses of the actors from the TV series. And that's fine. However, was it really necessary for them to “cast” Wilford Brimley in the role of Dr. Rudy Wells? And to add to the confusion in terms of comic book casting, the covers (especially issue #2) realllllly make Steve look a whole damn lot like Lee Majors, whereas in the comic he's a generic steroided out mushed-nose tough guy. More confusing is the appearance inside the comic of the actor, Richard Anderson (Oscar Goldman in the TV series) in a couple of scenes as one of the surgeons. This was especially confusing at one point where, in another example of bad storytelling, it appeared that he might actually be “Oscar Goldman." I had to flip back a couple of pages to figure out what I was looking at.

It's just inconsistent and odd decisions to make when doing the comic.

During the surgery, there's a lot of scientific jargonage tossed around by Oscar in an attempt to lend some degree of believability to the plot. So, if you want to read 4 pages of exposition, this is the book for you. Thankfully there's no follow up in this issue to the plot that kicked off the first issue (the one with the bionic bad guy slicing people's heads in half with a samurai sword....yeh...that's what I said). It's basically a stand-alone comic that's a glorified training montage.

They completely skipped over the emotional struggle of Steve coming to terms with what happened to him. This was a strong part of the original TV-pilot movie and the novel the show was based on, CYBORG by Martin Caidin. And that's the worst thing about this series so far. There's no passion or emotional connection to the characters.

At least Max, the bionic dog, makes a short appearance at the beginning to somehow convince this man who woke up to find himself with 1 eye, 1 arm, and no legs to submit to experimental surgery that will wind up also removing his good arm and his 1 good eye as well. Yes, they did that to him. But don't worry. He frets about it for 3 or 4 panels and then....it's all good.

Veteran's Day 2011! A Super-Salute

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 04:46:00 +0000

A SUPER-SALUTE

TO ALL OUR VETERANS!

when the world screamed: Cutting Through the Nonsense with Common Sense

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:56:00 +0000

I've started a second blog for writings that are less sarcastic and fixated on super-heroes and the silly stuff in life. I call this one..."when the world screamed: Cutting Through the Nonsense with Common Sense." Here's a sneak-peak at my first entry dealing with the Texas Education Fund and the nonsense surrounding that. Check it out, if it interests you, follow the link over to the full entry and see what you think. If you would connect and follow that blog too, that would be cool. I got the name from the last of the "Prof. Challenger" stories by A.C. Doyle. It's a title I've always wanted to steal for something.

Hijacking Texas Education Funds Through the Guise of "Privatization"

News reports have been hammering our brains for the last year or so about how Texas must cut 3-to-5 Billion (with a capital “B”) dollars from “Education.” Of course, there's rarely any specifics about where these cuts are made. The cuts are just made and then left to the agencies and school districts to figure out how to deal with it.

At the same time that this budgeting fiasco has been going on, Texas has gone through some highly public battles with the school board over textbook rewrites and the state embarked on a major overhaul of their standardized testing system. So, out with the TAKS and in with the “more rigorous” STAAR and EOC (End-Of-Course) Examination system. As well, add in the massive spending involved in an attempt to set up a state-wide online curriculum and testing system. Through it all, one name keeps popping up: Pearson Education.

You may wonder who that is? According to Abby Rapoport in The Texas Observer, “Pearson is a London-based mega-corporation that owns everything from the Financial Times to Penguin Books, and also dominates the business of educating American children.”

In fact, The Texas Observer did an outstanding job of laying out some of the details and reasons why Texas taxpayers (and basically anyone in other states where Pearson is found) should be alarmed at their lobbying efforts. I recommend everybody read the article in full. My conclusion is that the people's call for “privatizing” the school system seems to have been misconstrued intentionally into a massive intertwining of government funds (meaning: TAXPAYER DOLLARS) with a massive FOR-PROFIT CORPORATION in a way that could only make Halliburton smile with understanding.

Calls for privatizing the education system are rarely demands to funnel tax money into the coffers of private corporations. Calls for privatization are calls to remove government from the system, thus returning all tax monies to the individual citizens, and allowing the free market to function. The individual citizens decide to whom and where to funnel the money...or not.

That is privatization.

What the Texas Education Agency, Texas legislators, and the hundreds of for-profit corporations, like Pearson, are doing is a bastardization of the concept mostly done on the down-low while everyone in the media is distracted by the ridiculous nit-picky backbiting at the State Board of Education over what goes in and out of Texas textbooks.

You might ask why would I pick on Pearson so strongly. Is it just because The Texas Observer says I should?

Well, I did some digging just to see where our tax money was actually going in terms of “Education” and specifically in regards to Pearson. This was accomplished by visiting texastransparency.org which bills itself with this sub-line: “Open government is accountable government: a clear look at your tax dollars at work in Texas.” Unfortunately, it may be “clear,” but it most definitely is not easy to maneuver. They have the site rigged up in such a way that the information is there but in terms of ease of access – frustrating. The drop-down stair-step approach to the searches and the slow searching script and the unavailability of multiple searching within one session make it very difficult to get a straight and “clear” set of numbers. The numbers don't necessarily always quite add up either. Let me explain...

Click here to read the rest...

He Who Dies With the Most Toys...

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 02:34:00 +0000

Prof. Challenger Official Portrait

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 04:16:00 +0000

I finally got my official portrait for the 'Hole's Clubhouse over @ AICN Comics. Who knew it takes over 5 years just for the frame?

Never Too Old for Comic Books!

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 16:31:00 +0000

POLL! Best TV Villain Ever!

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 23:41:00 +0000

Make Your "Otaku-Sophie's Choice" today!

The BEST TV Villain ever is one of these four...

Michael Dunn as DR. MIGUELITO LOVELESS (Wild Wild West)

Larry Hagman as J.R. EWING (Dallas)

Joseph Mascolo as STEFANO DIMERA (Days of Our Lives) or...

Frank Gorshin as THE RIDDLER (Batman)

POLL! Worst TV Villain Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:43:00 +0000

Make Your "Otaku-Sophie's Choice" today!

The worst TV Villain ever is either...

Art Carney as THE ARCHER (Batman) or...

Michael Pataki as COUNT MALACHE (Happy Days)

C-O-E-X-I-S-T Comic Book Style!

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 00:38:00 +0000

Click That COEXIST Bumper Sticker

to Order Your Very Own from my CafePress store for $3.99 or 10 for $29.99

A great treat for you to give to your most special Trick-Or-Treaters this year!

Tired of the usual stuff. Sick of the pomposity of the various "COEXIST" Bumper Stickers.

Show the world where the harshest conflicts are fought -- the world of Comic Book Geek-dom. Are you a Marvel zombie? A DC guy? How about a Charlton nut?

Tell the world that it's time for everyone to just get along.

My COEXIST bumper stickers are perfect for expressing yourself while cruising down the highway or just for posting on the wall, your neighbor's dog, or even you toilet.

Measures 10" x 3"
Printed on 4mil vinyl using water and UV resistant inks - means no fading in the sun or bleeding in the rain. So take THAT faded "Darwin Fish" people!!!

Dark Shadows Cast Photo w/Johnny Depp as Barnabas

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 18:54:00 +0000

Entertainment Weekly has published the first official cast photograph from the new Dark Shadows feature film, which is seen above. From left to right: Helena Bonham Carter (Dr. Julia Hoffman), Chloe Moretz (Carolyn Stoddard), Eva Green (Angelique Bouchard), Gulliver McGrath (David Collins), Bella Heathcote (Victoria Winters), Johnny Depp (Barnabas Collins), Ray Shirley (Mrs Johnson), Jackie Earle Haley (Willie Loomis), Jonny Lee Miller (Roger Collins) and Michelle Pfeiffer (Elizabeth Collins Stoddard).

More info here on the Dark Shadows News blog.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN with THE GENERAL MILLS MASSACRE

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:00:00 +0000

GENERAL MILLS MASSACRE!
Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry
Like You've Never Wanted to See Them!

Yes, it is true. In the April 1, 2005 edition of WIZARD Magazine the following feature appeared from reporter Chris Ward:

Horror maestro Steve Niles takes on an unlikely band of 'cereal killers' from his youth. And it's not what you think...
Steve Niles' next project may curdle your blood and your milk...

Whether he cooks up ghastly zombie tales (Wake the Dead) or vicious vampire titles (such as the chilling 30 Days of Night, currently in production as a feature film from Sam Raimi), Niles has proven himself as comics' foremost expert when it comes to scaring the hell out of readers. But his next project will prove he's a creator who thinks outside the cereal box.

Niles and new publisher AFD Press have obtained the license to General Mills' most popular ghouls -- Count Chocula, Frankenberry and Boo Berry -- and will feature them in an edgy title, a four-issue mini-series titled General Mills Massacre that premiers in October with art by Shiver in the Dark's Stuart Sayger. Niles hopes to redefine undead icons packed with eight essential vitamins.

"Just because they got their birth on a cereal box doesn't mean they aren't great characters," says Niles. "Especially Frankenberry. He has a sad quality that reminds me of [Robert] DeNiro as the creature. There will have to be certain changes made. I imagine Stuart will go for a sickly pink skin tone, but General Mills has made it clear that each character, even brought to life, should reflect their flavor. I may never get to work with the Universal Monsters, so for me, this is very exciting."

It's not surprising AFD Press was able to pick up the license, as General Mills has been more open to lending out their creations of late -- handing over Count Chocula, most recently, to MasterCard for a Super Bowl commercial.

Still, where humor may be easy to pull off, how will Niles provide these loveable characters with two scoops of terror?

"Actually, the easy part was making these cheery characters gruesome and unsettling for the reader," Niles says. "I'm tapping into childhood fear at its most basic level. Think about circus clowns--they're meant to be funny, but most people get unintentionally sick with fear just looking at them. It's that mentality I'm going for. We've come up with a great gag switching out blood for milk in issue #2, and you'll see what I mean. It's like that scene in 'Lost Boys,' when Jason Patric thinks he's eating rice, and, well...it will put you off breakfast for a while."
Niles has license to re-work the character origins and will introduce an old favorite in the second issue.

"Oh yes, Fruit Brute will make an appearance," he says, referring to General Mills' little-known werewolf character of the early 1970s. "There's a petition going around to include Yummy Mummy [Editor's note: another cereal-based character], but I think he might be too obscure to work into this story arc. We'll see."

One thing seems certain: Once fans are exposed to the darker side of Boo Berry, prize-seekers will think twice before sticking their hand into the open maw of a cereal box.

One Is The Loneliest Number...

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:07:00 +0000

FURY OF FIRESTORM: THE NUCLEAR MEN #1 (2011) & FIRESTORM: THE NUCLEAR MAN #1 (1978) Reviewed

noreply@blogger.com (Keith Howell) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 13:30:00 +0000

THE FURY OF FIRESTORM: THE NUCLEAR MEN #1

Writers: Gail Simone & Ethan Van Sciver (co-plotter)

Artist: Yildiray Cinar

Publisher: DC Comics

“You jerk! You want to say this crap to me? Say it to my face, you geek loser! Come on, right now!” — Ronnie Raymond

So far, all but 2 of “The New 52” that I've read (admittedly a small number) have not started from scratch with a standard first issue “Origin” story, but picked up on the character already in existence. THE FURY OF FIRESTORM: THE NUCLEAR MEN is one of them (OMAC is the other one, if you're curious). Annnnnnd, since I happen to own a copy of the original FIRESTORM: THE NUCLEAR MAN #1 from 1978 (and it was easy to grab), I will be following up this review with a short “Bonus” review of that comic as a comparison. Since both are the “first” appearances of the character in their respective continuities, why the hell not take a look at both of them?

I didn't care for this comic very much. It is functional but not very enjoyable, and in parts, really irked me. It started with the opening sequence with a group of white, racist terrorists trying to get their hands on a macguffin and proceeding to assassinate a Middle Eastern family (parents and kids) in Istanbul. [“MacGuffin” - noun - \mǝ-'gǝ-fǝn\ : an object that serves to set and keep the plot in motion...”]

The terrorist in charge is a vicious little shit named “Clifford Carmichael.” Move to Walton Mills High School to meet white All-American, slightly dense, football star, Ronnie Raymond. While we're here, let's also hook him up with school journalist, black kid with a chip on his shoulder, Jason Rusch.

They, of course, hate each other. Primarily because Jason is one of those kids who hates the sports kids and promptly starts intimating that Ronnie's a racist. Ronnie is one of those kids who tires of people making presumptions about him because he's a football star...and now...thinks he's a racist. Reminds me of when I got drug to a PromiseKeepers Rally many years ago and the guy on stage spent most of the time informing me and the thousands of other guys there that we were all racists...even if we didn't know it. Wha-huh? Anyway, while we get glimpses at these two boys' personal lives, the visual parallels between the two of them are highlighted with side-by-side panels and internal monologues (Ronnie's in red bubbles and Jason's in yellow). Both just met each other and both think they know what the other kid is all about. The truth is that they're a lot more like each other than they realize (a couple of arrogant pricks, actually) and circumstances are about to bring them a lot closer to each other than they're going to want.

The terrorist group tortures then kills a scientist at a Swedish supercollider and we start getting some indication of what the macguffin is – some kind of powerful something or other having to do with “The Firestorm Protocol” and toss in some tantalizing references to a missing scientist named Martin Stein. Visual indications are that there are various countries with their own top-secret “Firestorm” individuals (I noted China, Japan, and Russia. Not sure of the other countries).

Naturally, even though nothing in the story leads the reader to understand why, the terrorists “know” that the missing piece of the puzzle is at....Walton Mills High School! The timing couldn't be more perfect for them to break in to get it while both Ronnie and Jason are there. And, like any good high school student with a top-secret “magnetic bottle” containing highly radioactive material that “inhibit[s] the decay of gauge bosons...[changing] quarks of one flavor to another,” HE HIDES IT INSIDE HIS HIGH SCHOOL LOCKER!!!! By the way, that stuff about quarks and bosons means it has the ability to transmute elements. Now we get it. “The Firestorm Protocol” is some kind of global top-secret experiment involving transmutation of matter predicated upon the Higgs Boson, or “God Particle” and is functional only with a genetic match. Makes total sense. Trekkies probably understood that techno-babble, but I doubt anyone else did.

But, really, isn't the whole thing just an excuse to get Ronnie and Jason to fuse together into Firestorm? Well, of course....and that happens....sort of. As the cover that makes my eyes bleed reveals, the two of these guys actually co-exist as separate mirror-versions of each other as Firestorm but they can also fuse together into one massive giant Firestorm who calls himself “Fury” and talks like a tough-guy asshole saying things like “The 'guys' are gone forever, Sweetcheeks. Say hello to Fury.” *facepalm*

I really didn't care for it. I didn't like the pointless brutality of the villains. I didn't like the simplistic implication that Ronnie is a racist because he hasn't had a black kid over to his house. I didn't like the self-righteous attitude of Jason. I really hated the techno-babble. I didn't like the completely and inconceivably stupid idea that Jason would just keep this all-important macguffin in his freaking high school locker. That was really just too much for me.

I think the broader concepts are sound. The idea that “The Firestorm Protocol” is a global project with multiple competing countries experimenting with this powerful weapon is a strong premise. The pettiness of the two unlikeable lead characters and the “Fury” aspect really turned me off. I am usually a fan of the work of Gail Simone and Ethan Van Sciver and I appreciated Yildiray Cinar's work on LEGION this past year, but I didn't enjoy this comic.

It has potential in the concept, but this went off the rails a number of times and never really righted itself.

FIRESTORM: THE NUCLEAR MAN #1 (1978)

Writer: Gerry Conway

Artists: Al Milgrom (pencils) and Klaus Jansen/Josef Rubenstein (inks)

Publisher: DC Comics

“Wowee! If the kids at school could only see me now! I haven't felt this good since I made the winning touchdown in the championship game with Central High!” – Ronnie Raymond (Firestorm)

The cover, by artist Al Milgrom is simple but it is much more dynamic than the static, posed, over-colored and over-f/x'd cover of the 2011 cover. The 2011 series involves a global terrorist group led by Cliff Carmichael who slaughter their way to a high school in pursuit of some important canister that ignites and joins 2 teenagers together both separately and joined as Firestorm super-heroes.

The original version of the character premiered in 1978 and was smack dab in the middle of the oil crisis and widespread fears of nuclear power (the Three-Mile Island meltdown was right around the corner). This comic also featured terrorists. Not the kind of terrorists who put a gun to the head of a little boy and shoot his head off after making him watch them first kill his family. No, these are 70s-style terrorists with curly perms, muttonchop sideburns and sticks of dynamite. In fact, the comic begins with Firestorm already in action taking on a group of thugs trying to blow up a nuclear power plant in New Jersey with a stash of dynamite. Then it does a quick flashback to the circumstances surrounding how Firestorm came to be here in the first place.

So, the flashback machine takes us to the high school where new transfer student, and football player, Ronnie Raymond is experiencing his first day in a new school. Instead of Jason Rusch, the antagonist in this comic is “Cliff Carmichael,” who is NOT a terrorist here but, rather, an annoying little shit who relentlessly picks on Ronnie. In this scenario, Ronnie is a jock but Cliff is the smart nerd who lords his brains and cutting wit over the “big dumb jock.” It is an amusing twist on the usual scenario of the jock picking on the smart kid.

Ronnie is much more likeable in this story than in the new version, and the reader is more empathetic to his situation as the new kid in school. Cliff is the guy we all want to just punch in the nose. Which is exactly how he should be. He's not the hero, he's the foil.

The Coalition to Resist Atomic Power is protesting the opening of the Hudson Nuclear Power Plant, where Prof. Martin Stein hangs out as the physicist who designed the installation. In the "New 52" version, Martin Stein is so far just a mysterious name. Here, he is an angry and irritable man who presents a very unlikely and intriguing pairing with the youthful, non-intellectual, Ronnie. The Coalition is really just a front for an anti-nuclear power terrorist group who breaks in to the power plant with some dynamite to blow it up and make everyone see the danger. Inexplicably, that explosion fuses Ronnie (who shows up at the plant at just the wrong time) with Prof. Stein and gives them the power to transmute elements.

With Ronnie's football player physique and Prof. Stein's brilliant mind plus fire hair and a puffy-sleeved shirt, they embark on a new career as the powerful nuclear-powered “Firestorm.” The terrorists at the Jersey power plant are, of course, the same group that tried to blow up the power plant.

The story follows some basic Silver Age tropes such as name alliteration (i.e., Ronnie Raymond, Cliff Carmichael, Doreen Day), villain set-up, and stylized soap-opera relationships and dialogue. However, there is real dramatic tension without imposing any social or political agenda. The anti-nuclear group are the villains of the piece, but it never feels like any judgment is being pushed on either side of the issue by writer Gerry Conway. The look of the Firestorm character is really bizarre by any standard and, yet, I've always liked it. Even when I was 12 years old.

Milgrom's work on this comic displays elements of both Ditko and Kirby in it. It doesn't always work, but for his pencil work (Milgrom is more known for his inking and editing work), it's pretty strong in terms of selling the narrative while limited in terms of actual drawing ability. The inks by Klaus Jansen and Josef Rubinstein are solid and help out a lot, although Jansen and Rubenstein are not similar in style at all.

Of the two, I definitely enjoy the original FIRESTORM #1 over “The New 52” version, but even with that I will admit it's pretty lightweight. But at least it is fun. The new version is not very fun at all.

Look for this and other reviews tomorrow @AICN Comics!