Then someone decided to mutilate it…

DEAD YET?

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Proud of her new found smiling glory, Crystal Bowersox tweeted her toothpaste commercial worthy smile in Twitter with the message, “What’s NOT missing in this picture?????? Yeah. That’s right”

Lets just hope she just stick to perfecting her teeth and not get over zealous with other parts of her anatomy. The world can certainly do without another Gaga.

Reference

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This story makes no sense to someone who has not gone through the dreadful “next morning experience” of making a big fool out themselves in a public place and right in front or their spouse or love one. Yes, it the feeling of wanting to go jump over the tallest building in the world happens the morning after. No justifications in the world that you can think off will over-ride that shame and guilt that you have brought upon yourself.

One good thing will come out of this though.

You will be sober cat for the next 6 months, more or less.

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But the fucking fact is, no matter what I call myself, talk myself think myself, I AM getting old and when you get old, all kinds of unexpected things happens. There is no point even talking about it to anyone. They will only nod with falsity or if they are ‘true’ friends, they will only laugh and say. “I am worse off than you”

When it comes to sufferings, however minor, most of your “friends” are worse of than you. Their pains are greater than yours. When it comes to money, all your “friends” will always have lesser than you.

So never complain to your ‘friends’ Laugh with them, get drunk with them, screw some women with them. Just never share your sufferings with them, just share the joy. That is what friends are for.

Just like a woman telling me how painful it was for them when they were giving birth, I will never comprehend the pain for I have never went through the pain. I will never ever be able to feel the real sympathy for them. I will only laugh and say, “really so painful meh?”

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Go get some ‘cousin sister’ to suck it clean maybe?

Using a milk extractor will be more effective

Hmm.. milk extractors are extreme, try using a milk pump instead.

Still no joy? What about this. Even your overnight shit will be forced out.

If even that does not work. Then you might as well do this.

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When I look back now, that seems like not too long ago and it came to my realization now that, my God, time does indeed fly and it flew by me without even me knowing it. It was like yesterday that I treated myself to a holiday in Thailand when it actually happened more than 3 years ago. Yes, 3 years ago and the memory is still so fresh in my mind and it is not entirely due to the ‘memorable’ moments that I had there. No doubt, those moments did play a minor part to keep memories alive, but what made it possible in the first place was something that I should have forgotten, but yet it does not seem to have happened so long ago.

It all started with a Blogger’s Party. Prior to that, I was already hyper active in the Malaysian Blogosphere. I made many friends within and a group of more active ones decided to organize a Bloggers gathering that could be considered the grandest of all at that time. Distinguished guest includes all top names in the Malaysian Blogosphere like Jeff Ooi and such. Nuffnang, that is so well known now has not even being launched yet and the founders, Timothy and Ming whom I had the privilege to meet during the party used the party as a small launching pad, doing their pre-launch publicity gig by giving away many souvenirs. Their staunch rival, Advertlets was also doing the same thing.

To cut a long story short, since I was very impressed with the people from Nuffnang, I signed up with their program. I had a blog that was doing quite okay then and was making some good money doing tons of paid post. During my stint with Nuffnang I managed to reap a cash payout of more than 300 Malaysian bucks within a very short period. Though paid postings did much better, I had no complains as that was passive income and all I had to do was to stick their Ads in my blog and that’s all to it. I believe it is still that way till today though I think it is more difficult to get Ads now what with the amount of blogs that are serving Nuffnang Ads. It was that 300 bucks of passive money that I treated myself to the Thailand trip with. Of course not totally paid for, but transport fares and hotel reservations have been taken care off.

Those were golden times for the Malaysian Bloggers. Many of my peers made good money from their blogs and every one was one happy blogger. I treated myself lavishly with each payment I received, buying digital cameras and upgrading my old computer from a clone to branded Dell Dimension 3000. Don’t laugh, it was the latest model back then and it even comes with a 17 inch LCD monitor that not many have. Don’t laugh again, for I am still using it to write this post. It had served me too well all these years without any problems that I could not solve myself and the only major one was replacing the obselete CD-ROM to a DVD-ROM. Even with it’s 512mb RAM, I still can do everything I want to do with it and that includes running Photoshop CS, a RAM sucker by all means.

Like nature, flowers will wilt and tides will subside. Good things never last for long. My money blogs got penalized for all those paid postings and with that, I lost a major source of income. Slowly, I lost interest in those “half dead” blogs and I gradually retreated from the Malaysian Blogosphere. I went international.

Seeing not much hope of making any headway, money wise from blogging for a Malaysian audience, I started to blog for the Western market by creating a handful of niche blogs on several hotly searched topics. Some I promoted affilaite products and some I published Adsense Ads. As the major portion of the visitors came via Search engines and from the US, I never serve Nuffnang Ads in those blogs.

It has been 3 long years and a few months ago, I felt it would be a good time to come back. The number of blogs in Malaysia is growing rapidly and there definitely have been an increase in blog readers. With the things I have learned from friends that I made while I was “away” I saw a potential in a blogging about my hometown, Port Dickson. It is a well known holiday destination, and I figured information will be well sought after for this town.

The gamble, if you want to call it that, is already starting to pay off and that blog gets substantial traffic from local and Singapore Searches looking for information about holidaying in Port Dickson. You guessed it, with all those local traffic, I have again started serving Nuffnang Ads with my old account which I have kept alive all these years along with Adsense Ads. I have cashed out my Adsense payments twice already and I am waiting patiently for Nuffnang to come in. I am starting to dream again and even have started to list out the my treat list once the moolah starts rolling in.

On the top of my treat list is to upgrade my old faithful, the Dell Dimension 3000. It would be good to change to a laptop for once. I have never used a laptop before due to it’s limitations. For one, there isn’t any “hot spots” available before in Port Dickson. However, times have changed. My favorite watering hole, the Royal Port Dickson Yacht Club has this facility now and many of my friends are using their laptops while drowning down their 2 pints. Another favorite haunt of mine, a food court by day and a karaoke by night also has this facility. So I think the time is right for a laptop to call my own. I heard the Dell Inspiron 13 is a good choice. I have read some reviews and it comes highly recommended.

Of course i would also like to make another “memorable” trip to Thailand and lately, friends who travels a lot have been telling me that Cambodia also offers good value for money. Just to be fair to my fat lady at home who has been nagging me all these years about spending more time in front of my computer than being with her, she too will get a treat. I have been trying to tell her that I am not “playing with my computer for hours everyday” but rather trying to make some money, but she doesn’t believe me. As I do not want to scorn her and earn the fury that even hell has not, I promised her a nice pair of earrings. All I got was, “huh! show them to me first!” Well, at least, she did not feel “scorned” else would be a piece of fried meat.

All these will go into my top 5 treat list comes end of this year and the following one. Hopefully with a little bit of luck and plenty of “hours in front of my computer” I could make each and everyone come true. First thing first though, I think I really need that new Dell Inspiron 13 laptop. I hear some funny noises coming from my CPU!! For those who have spare cash in hand and are looking to get this baby, Dell has a RM100 Instant Cash Redemption on Inspiron 13 Laptop (S510701MY) exclusive for blog readers. Just Mention coupon* code 7ZQVQF2RLZRKW3, when purchasing.

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Citing “scant dressing” as a reason for apposing is as hypocritical as a the wolf who ate Red Riding Hood’s grandma. The reason does not even warrant a benefit of doubt that they might really be so pious because I am quite sure they do take a longer peek than others, breast-wise. It is only a natural reaction by every red blooded men.

When things which are normally covered are opened up a little, we want to look closer. It is only when they Do NOT want to look that the problem starts. It means he is acting unnaturally and he is a potential candidate to be one that would “perform sexual acts against the course of nature”, which I understand is a serious crime here.

How can someone, at this time and age, argue that to watch some hot female artist revealing a small part of her breast can corrupt the mind is really something beyond me. Unless those who uttered these stupid things are so corrupted internally themselves that they virtually rape every women with their eyes, just by looking at the way the women dresses. It takes a man with dirty thoughts to conjure up dirty images when looking at something. They can see two innocent papayas hanging from the tree and thoughts of boobs will race through their minds. They can see a small cleavage and images of a naked women simply pops up. No wonder they hold on to the beliefs that these “unsightly revelations” corrupts the mind. They think every one else is as dirty as them.

Oh okay okay, I am also as dirty as them. Something does stir naturally if I see some sex bomb strutting away, but like I said, I am a blue blooded male and one who is “straight and natural” and one who has no wish to do something against the course of nature. I have a corrupted mind, but that is as far as things goes. I am not about to go on a raping spree after watching them half-boobs. I enjoy my hour of boob fascination and when the show ends, it ends. If the stirring is really bad, I have my ways of relieving without harming innocent bystanders.

Half the world has seen Beyonce and other so called “scantily and provocally dressed” performers performed live. Insofar, there haven’t been a single report that sexual crimes increases as a result. So why all the fuss over them boobs. Come to think of it, it was the boobs and the butts that were bothering them and it was them boobs and them butts that they were complaining wasn’t it? Just wanted to make sure it wasn’t because of something else.

Now if you will excuse me, I think I’ll switch over to my favorite porn channel.

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Still breathing? Don’t force yourself, there is more. You will regret you were ever born when you see those.

Shhh…Rumors has it that Lady Gaga got a penis…..or at least a little wee wee..

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Tyra Banks Real Hair

Apparently some have argued that all the hair that you see Tyra Banks posing with are fakes. In all fairness, even if Tyra Banks went bald, she still is stunning. With facial features like that, she can stay bald and I will not mind even a little bit. Heck, she looks a lot sexier without her hair.

You know how it is when celebrities gets speculated. They have to prove the speculators otherwise. So Tyra Banks went on TV to show off her real and natural hair. There is nothing spectacular about it. It is well…just hair and all hairs look alike, but even normal looking hairs looks good on that girl.

I don’t know what people are going to speculate about Tyra Banks next. Maybe we can get someone to bad mouth her about her boobs. The she will have to come on TV again to prove her boob’s worth. That will be my day. Having Tyra Banks emerging from her shower like the other day with her real hair dripping wet, this time we get to see Tyra Banks emerging again from the shower still dripping wet……..

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