interim thoughts...

The Ranbaxy story and a doubt

2013-05-18T15:27:00.003+05:30

This Ranbaxy story published in 'Fortune' is quite a disturbing read. Read the entire thing, it is worth it.

But this leads me to a question.

A few years back someone told me how a 'Paracetmol' bought in Australia was more effective on his daughter than 'Paracetmol' bought in India. And he discovered this by accident when his daughter fell sick while travelling or some such. He came back and shared that with his doctor who told him that most Indian drugs are impure and hence less effective. Of course, I laughed that off at that point, but this episode is making me re-think the whole case.

I have my own similar anecdotal tale as well. Around a few years ago, I picked up an OTC medicine for a common cold abroad and with just one tablet my cold that had bothered me for a week in India vanished.

I am thinking that if under the guise of 'generics' the whole drugs industry is based on selling substandard products to unsuspecting customers.

Scary if it is anywhere near true!!

Narendra Modi in Bangalore

2013-04-30T07:07:00.002+05:30

Most of us, people like us - who have a day job who have graduated to be so called 'white collar' workers would rarely have attended a public political rally. This is a part of us feeling excluded from the political process. Not only do we feel excluded, we feel that the exclusion is a privilege. Most of the 'upper middle class' feels that they dont need politics and politicians. Indeed this has gone on to the 'politicians' ignoring this class. So, there is set of people in the cities - people who are 'comfortable', 'well-off' who are entirely disconnected with the political process.

And in our first past the post democracy system - as Kishor says metaphorically- as long as 'Dharavi' votes more than 'Vile Parle', 'Dharavi' will vote who they want to vote for. And thus it has happened that 'Vile Parle' is a forgotten vote bank - and besides, they dont even come out to vote. So, politicians focus on 'Dharavi' and how to get its votes.

Over the last few years, I have tried to get involved in the political process - both at a local level and also writing about it. And it has been an eye opening education - thanks to blogs and twitter.

So, when I got the opportunity to attend Narendra Modis meeting in Bangalore, I took it up with both hands. Despite the fact that I had enoughts reasons to not attend, I ensured that I was able to make it (Talk about inspiration).

But I suspect in a lot of ways, this meeting was different. I was amazed to see 'Vile Parle' turn out in strength for the meeting. The meeting was organized very well and as the speeches began, it almost had a college fest kind of feel.

It had practically all the current legislators in Bangalore. Some of the ministers spoke - notably R Ashok who has done a fantastic job of taking BMTC and KSRTC to being perhaps the best TC and RTC in the country. Bangalore has cracked the upmarket public transport market in this country - which no other city has yet cracked - and moved people from cars and bikes to buses.

Venkaih Naidu spoke - and in his brand of trilingual speech of Hindi, English and Telugu and I kept getting lost - though his humour and rhyming did resonate with the audience.

The star of the show though was Narendra Modi through and through - from the point when he came on stage - the audience only wanted to hear him and no one else. And he had to ask the audience in his own inimitable way (I have come from Gujarat to hear the Karnataka leaders speak and after that I will spend as much time with you as required - and thats it - the audience simply fell in line).

And when he finally spoke, it was an amazing experience. Using a brilliant mix of metaphors, facts he found the mark each time. He spoke about mother and son - referncing Sonia and Rahul, dynastic politics (netas with golden spoons), security, governance. All in all, quite an inspiring presence.

Yes, a rally organized well - can be quite an inspiring and influencing factor. And of course hearing Narendra Modi almost reminded me of vintage A B Vajpayee. All in all, it was a great experience. See the speech below for yourself.

Hamaari Maangey Poori Karo

2013-04-25T10:34:00.001+05:30

"Hamaari Maangey Poori Karo" is an oft repeated slogan heard in Hindi cinema and in real life protests as well. It is also used in the context of asking vote seeking politicians. The sad part of it is that this is used as an example of people power - when in reality it is perhaps the opposite.

Why does one have to prostrate in front of a politician or a political party or government to get something that is basic? Why does one have protest to seek justice? Why do citizens have to ask the government for something as elementary as water or good roads?

Why is a basic expectation from government and governance transferred as a "demand" that is then "fulfilled" by the "benevolent sarkaar?". I can understand this if we were governed by an occupying force, such as the British, but really, do we as a citizen need to spread our hands and ask for such benefits? Or genuflect in front of a political party to seek these? Or threaten a politician or a government to get these?

Yes, this is the sad part of the political system that we call democracy. If it were a democracy, then these needs would get fulfilled by a usual system of simple governance or by making an application to change a law or thereabouts? But in our twisted system of democracy - inherited and implemented by the same framework that the British used to keep the natives in check - these are not options. We have come to accept misgovernance, corruption and even non fulfillment of basic needs - like a typical occupying force.

And therefore, Hamaari Maangey Poori Karo is a sad reflection of what our democracy is today...

The Garbage Problem

2013-04-13T19:24:00.001+05:30

In this speech Narendra Modi addresses the garbage problem of cities. Why is this so pertinent? For those of us blessed with a memory a little better than goldfish, Bangalore in particular had a great problem recently of dumping the waste of the city.

Frankly, the garbage problem is our problem. The people like us, who live in apartments and houses and expect someone to collect the garbage and clear it each day. We have been composting for about 3 years now and I can say with first hand experience that if we compost all the kitchen waste and segregate the dry waste - what is left is miniscule.

And this is exactly what Narendra Modi talks about - if cities did their composting, we can get farmers in the radius around the city off fertilizer and start organic farming. Here is another earlier post from 2010. And 2009.

Why is this so difficult for people for understand? Firstly, we need to realize that garbage is our problem - those who create it. But this problem is an opportunity - and someone with vision needs to be able to tap into this at a city/community level.

And then there is the bigger problem of sewage...but thats for later. But seriously, we need to reimagine our present concept of urban living...

Things fall apart

2013-04-01T20:10:00.000+05:30

Recommended by @Rajeevsrinivasa on the death of Chinua Achebe, somehow the book caught my attention and I purchased it on impulse.

The book starts off with a glimpse into African culture and explores the Ibo tradition in Nigeria and its subsequent conflict with the 'white missionaries'.

The plot of the book is a very simple one - it captures the rise and fall of its protagonist from humble origins and parallely, the rise of a foreign religion that grows its tentacles amongst themselves dividing an hitherto united culture.

I dont know how the present day structure of Nigeria is, but reading the novel brought alive, vividly, a glimpse of Nigeria of those days. What I liked about the book is its genuine voice that brings the culture of the Ibo to its pages in a matter of fact way. The village ceremonies, the rituals are described in detail almost transporting the reader to the village and making one empathise with the characters.

The second part makes for tougher reading - because it takes one through the journey of the protagonist through his eyes and the the writer does well to make the reader connect with the protagonist and his tragedy. But a very well written book that connects beautifully the reader and the subject.

It also tracks the way a foreign religion makes inroads into the native culture slowly splitting it apart - and this is something that has been highlighted in India as well many times and has led to inevitable conflict between tradition and so called modernity. The Nagas come to mind inevitably.

This has been an aspect of colonisation, I suppose, one that has never been sufficiently highlighted in most Indian literature. In the name of civilization, apart from banning certain bad practices, there was a strong tendency to impose a new religion as well. Wherever, colonization went, there went missionaries as well, in the name of civilizing the natives. That it split apart cultures and disconnected the people who lived in harmony with the earth and literally worshipped it has been ignored in most contemporary literature. This aspect comes out very clearly in this book as he exposes the conflict between traditionalism and a foreign religion on the people of his village. Of course, it is politically incorrect to say that these days...

The most recent I read something similar was in this review of Korkai by Aravindan Neelakandan at CRI.

Waterless Holi, Crackerless Diwali, Crash Diets and Earth Hour

2013-03-30T10:57:00.000+05:30

A Waterless Holi, a crackerless Diwali, a crash diet and earth hour may seem very different from each other, but in reality they are not very different. Each of the above is an event as opposed to a habit. Promote events as much as you want, but the effect of it is short-term at best.

Let us go one by one.

The most recent one is a waterless Holi. Now, Holi is not exactly my favourite festival for a variety of reasons, but not playing Holi (with or without water) is not really going to solve your water problem. If you really care enough about water, you would do many other things. Reduce usage in general, use gray water, promote rainwater harvesting, work in rejuvenating lakes, plug leaks around etc etc. Not only would you do it regardless of where you were, you would also get others to do it. Just by not playing Holi one day is not going to save you too much water if you go the very next day and waste water from washing your car to leaving the tap open while you brush.

Ditto for a crackerless Diwali. The amount of smoke a Diwali cracker (or your entire collection of crackers) lets off on Diwali day is far lesser than the amount of pollutants your car (or even bike) spews in a week (assuming you take a not very long journey- and it goes up as your car gets bigger or your distance gets longer.) Most people who argue for a crackerless Diwali lead a completely opposite life on all the other 363 days of the year. They own polluting cars, will not go anywhere near public transport and wont think twice about driving a kilometer to buy a liter of milk or use a 1000 kg SUV to drop a 25 kg kid to school (instead of using a school bus). If you truly care about the environment, then do many other things - like, perhaps, taking public transport once a week to begin with?

Ditto for Earth Hour. Earth hour is a big farce. Read about it here.

And crash diets, well, you starve once in a year and then hog the rest of the days is hardly going to help your health. If you care about your health, then a combination of food, exercise and controlled eating will do more to you than a stupid crash diet once in a few months.

So, why do people still do it? Because it is easy. It is easy to do an event and then be careless the rest of the year. It is easy to campaign for a waterless Holi while having bath twice a day. It is easy to campaign for a crackerless Diwali while driving around all day in an SUV. It is easy to turn off the lights for a hour, while letting the electricity burn for the other 23 hours each day. And yes, it is easy to crash diet once in a way while hogging away at other times.

Yes, hypocrisy is another word for this...

Our Moon has Blood Clots

2013-03-17T21:27:00.001+05:30

I finally finished reading Rahul Panditas “Our Moon has Blood clots”. Even as I type this out, somehow, I am unable to type out at usual speed. Words are tough to get, sentences do not flow and the heart feels heavy. I have nothing to do with Kashmir- other than the fact that it is an Indian state. But something about the book struck a chord in my mind.

Three thoughts bothered me as I read through the book.

As I read the book, I went back to 1990. At that time, I was in school. In the late 80s and 90s there was much brouhaha over the Mandal Commission, the Ayodhya movement and we all knew about it, but the Kashmir issue was somewhere in the backburner. And I remember that it was only a few years ago that I learnt about the forced exodus of the Kashmiri Pandits. Would I have learnt it without the internet and its active right community? I shudder to think that I would, perhaps, not have come across it at all. The Kashmir Pandit exile is almost a forgotten chapter for Indias chatterati. And does not seem to have received the attention it did in the 90s. And I wonder why? Werent the Pandits Indians? Werent those who perpetuated it on them Indian? Why was this forced tragedy ignored? And precious little done about it? Even till date. And there has been a lot that has gone on in trying to hide the truth about the issue. The book does a great job in bringing these out.

The second thought that bothered me as I read the book was the remarkable parallels between that and other books. Lajja for one – set in Bangladesh. Tamas and to a lesser extent, Train to Pakistan, set during partition times. Each of these books is on a similar subject of Hindus and Muslims. What bothered me was that, for centuries, these two communities stay alongside talking the same language and culture – everything similar except the god they worship and then, at a particular point, when push comes to shove, one specific community slaughters the other.

Friends turn active foes or simply turn away or turn co-conspirators. What is it that institutionalizes hatred in such deep terms? (We all know what it is, but it is fashionable to not talk about it and pretend that such a vile ideology does not exist.)

It is very tempting to think of Kashmir as a special case, but frankly it is not. Atleast my reading of history and contemporary events across the world does not point so. This has happened because a vile ideology has spread its tentacles amongst the people (And there is proof of this spread happening bit by bit, by money, by influence, by violence, by stifling the voices of those who oppose it.). And if this can happen in a culture widely regarded as tolerant and 'mixed' and 'syncretic' - there is precious little hope elsewhere, unless there is a counter influence - and that influence is not there at all. There are deniers, there are useful idiots, there are vacuous apologists, there are equivocators, but very very few calling out an ideology as vile.

The book shows the mirror to a people who today perpetually claim persecution, but who have brutally conspired to drive another community nearly into extinction. And yes, this has happened in India - in the great secular democratic state we are proud to be part of - and yes, in the recent past and it continues to be so.

Third, and this is perhaps the most important one. Before the forced exodus, there were many events that happened. And this is what I call as 'creeping poison'. First, one community is asked to wear an identifier (or remove an identifier) - and this has a creepy parallel with Nazis. And hatred is spread on a day to day basis - with basic humanity being denied. There are sporadic incidents here and there. Each day this goes on and on and finally, one day, all the hatred reaches a tipping point. There is no surprise about it - but like the proverbial frog in boiling water, everybody lives in denial - government, society and others. It is not difficult to identify the source(s) and clamp down on them.

I don't know. All I can say is that the book is a depressing read. This happened in our country 20 odd years ago and even today there is very little happening to rehabilitate the community - to give them back their land and home or to prevent its recurrence in other parts of the country.

But this is a great book - it is a story that deserves to be told by the millions who continue to live in forced exile. Hats off to Rahul Pandita to write out this book.

The other side of UP/India

2013-03-12T10:47:00.000+05:30

Overall, the visit to Kumbh2013 was a very good one. The arrangements were quite good and the Kumbh itself seemed to have things in place quite well. But there is another side as well.

For one, the roads were really narrow - considering the kind of traffic they take, clearly the Lucknow-Allahabad route deserves a two laned road. Most of the roads were good overall, perhaps repaired to take the Kumbh traffic. Signage could be better as well in general, though the people were the most helpful.

Every bus has atleast 'Journalist' seat. The Volvos have a MP/MLA seat. And there are people who try to make money off you - like Pandey at the Allahabad bus station. As we waited at the hotel, comes a man, asking if the district magistrate had called and gets a room immediately with the note on the register saying ' paise nahi lena' written next to it. While, we, as weary travellers were made to wait for a good time before anything resembling a room came our way.

The Kumbh camps seem to have a hierarchy. There are camps by the Army, the Income Tax, the High court and various other government departments. And each of these, probably exist to service those who have the clout to get there - and I am sure a little fixing on the way as well.

And then there was some official escorted by 4 CRPF Jawans (hats off to you to enduring such a skunk) who sat around ordering them about, while they ordered food for him, cleared the tables, and boosted his ego while he maintained a sour face throughout. Sad that people have to undergo humiliation like this each day.

Why does obsequiousness have to be part of bureaucratic culture? The residues of the mai-baap culture can clearly be seen around. We may spout socialism, but all this only serves to remind us that much of socialism is like The Animal Farm by George Orwell.

A secret temple

2013-03-11T08:00:00.000+05:30

A few weeks ago, I had hired a cab to take me home. It was late evening, nearly sunset.

And at one point, the driver pointed to a gate and told me, "Inside that gate is a temple. The temple is opened only on Mahashivaratri day. On other days, you cannot go inside."

I know the road very well. It is a road I see, almost each day. I even know the potholes very well. And the speedbreakers. Also the ones on which one does not need to slow down. That is how well I know the road.

Or so I thought...

And I driven on the road on holidays including Mahashivaratri and never seen any activity there. That gate was never opened.

"What sort of a temple is it?"
"It is a Shiva temple, Saar"
"And is it a very old temple?"
"Yes, it is a very old temple. It is located inside the army area so they dont allow people on regular days, but on Shivaratri day is open to the public."
"Is this very well known?"
"Only the locals know it saar"

The conversation got me intrigued. Cab drivers, are known to spin quite a yarn in general. And, many of them fall in the unverifiable category usually used to regale passengers. Most cab drivers, I have believed, could have an easy alternate career in fiction or scriptwriting.

But, somehow, I had it in my mind to verify this. It seemed simple enough for me to do so.

And thus it was that I landed there in the morning to see the temple on Shivaratri day. The gate was open - though there was a guard standing there. I asked him if there was a temple inside. He actually smiled and asked me to go inside.

The cab driver knew what he was talking about. I was excited about seeing the temple.

We drove along the road. It was an unpaved road. With old trees around. One could hear the birds. It was an island of quiet in the metropolis. Old, really old trees - preserved only because it was some sort of defence related premises. And after a short winding road, there was the temple.

Clearly, an old old temple, though some sort of gopuram had been added to it in the recent past.

And yes, it was opened only on certain days to the public - and obviously only those who knew of it being open, turned up. That kept the temple, unspoilt...

What a find. Fact or fiction? What do you think?

Net Net Kumbh Mela

2013-03-10T14:53:00.001+05:30

The Kumbh Mela is perhaps the worlds oldest religious gathering. But like many (and I say many, because there are some which are 'exclusive') religious gathering, especially of Indic faiths, you can be a part of it regardless of whether one is a believer or not.

One can come down as believer, a pilgrim, a wanderer, a learner or just for the experience. What we observed was that while there are clearly, very big crowds on the 'big' days, the days that we were there (between the last two big days and towards the end of the mela), the crowds were quite manageable.

The arrangements were good. We feared the worst, in terms of it not being clean and unhygienic, but frankly, even at the fag end of the mela, the place was none the worse for wear despite a few million having come and gone.

I am not a fan of crowds, especially unorganized ones and I even avoid concerts and stadium because of this, but the mela is huge - and absorbs quite a few people (and that is an understatement).

Overall, people are helpful, both government designated folks and volunteers and people who are a part of it. Perhaps, it is just a feeling of community.

How to get there? There seem to be many ways. We flew down to Lucknow and took the next available bus to Allahabad. But there are trains (if you can manage to book a ticket sufficiently in advance) that get you nearly all the way upto Prayag. There are cabs from Lucknow as well - which is how some people I know made it. Chartered buses are also seen. Allahabad and Varanasi also have airports. So, clearly, there are many ways to get there. We were a bit confused as to the best way and since we did not have enough time, we chose the Lucknow route - could have been much easier on the pocket had we booked in advance. But well, sometimes, planning does not work - you just have to decide to get up and go.

And yes, if you make it to Allahabad (Kumbh Mela or not), do visit, Varanasi (Kashi) - the oldest living city in the world with a rich tradition of 3500 odd years. And for us atleast, Varanasi was a very moving experience.

Is it worth it? In one word - Yes. Though as always, YMMV. Signing off on the Kumbh series of posts. Regular broadcast resumes...

4 days in Uttar Pradesh

2013-03-10T14:50:00.000+05:30

As a keen political observer, it is tough to not have seen it through the 4 days in Uttar Pradesh. On the face of it, the state is quite poor - having been part of BIMARU - the infamous acronym, one doesnt expect it to be any different.

Much of what I write here is a combination of conversations which I had and some which we heard around us.

Lucknow has its share of wide roads, mostly seem to be leading into the Kanshi Ram Memorial. The memorial is visible from the air and though we missed the Mayawati statues, we saw elephants everywhere - in lampposts, entrances and others. People may have their opinion, but memorial building is a pastime of the human race. If one family can have a million schemes named after themselves, surely, a park for ones own party is not such a big deal. The entire park boundary is marked in pink stone.

We had an ex-politico of some sorts in our bus who was conversing with the driver about the choice of trees in this memorial. The trees seem to be some sort of toddy palm - and their comment was that instead of planting native trees like neem or other flowering or fruit trees, the monument has been planted with palm trees that are not suited for this weather.

The roads between Allahabad and Lucknow are narrow (though a widening exercise seems to be in progress in parts) and bumpy and quite unsuited for the kind of traffic they carry - which is a mix of pedestrians to high end cars and buses. These roads were perhaps good enough some 20 years ago, but with this kind of traffic - it is a danger each time one gets on the road. These roads are the typical old style Indian roads - two lanes - one for each direction - with a painted lane marker. So, in order to overtake, one has to get to the other lane and then get back in.

The best of this drive is the fact that one gets to drive through Rae Bareilly, the constituency of the ruling dynasty (or its favourites for the most part) and it looks no different from any other part of UP. Why is that important?

(and this is what I tweeted)

In a bus via Rae Bareilly....amazing development here...looks like the rest of UP...dynasty jai ho
— Neelakantan (@ecophilo) March 5, 2013

For the dynasty which is ruling India, directly or by proxy, their constituency is an advertisement of what they can do. And in that sense it is a perfect advertisement. The place would look not very different, perhaps 30 years ago than it does not. And that is quite sad. Unless you count the picture of Sonia Gandhi, which I saw at one point, as development, it is as developed or under-developed as most of Uttar Pradesh.

A piece on development indicators:
Another one with some statistics:

The road from Varanasi to Allahabad is a little better - mostly because it is part of the old Grand Trunk Road and it seems like a national highway. Crowded in parts and fairly chaotic traffic, but as compared to the previous road, way better.

Our guide at Sarnath was an ardent SP party supporter - a Yadav and he sees the SP as 'his' party. He feels that his party is not doing much despite being in power. Something interesting happened here. As we were talking a beggar came by asking for money. And as she went away, he tells me, "she begs each day, expects money for free and does no work". And I asked him, is that not the state of the country itself? That charged him up and he agrees that this is what the government is doing to this country. Our time in Sarnath was up, but this was a conversation I would have liked to continue.

I chanced upon this post on my twitter timeline and I quite agree with the post in many parts - which means that my observations were not totally out of the blue.

Of people..

2013-03-10T14:38:00.001+05:30

The Kumbh mela is a riparian festival that has been going on for millenia. What better symbolism to the Kumbh than flow. And we found that our entire trip (all of 4 days) was about 'flow' as well.

First a gentleman offered to drop us off to the bus stand at Lucknow, much of the chagrin of his fellow traveller - so we bade goodbye and went off on our way in a rickshaw. But that, perhaps was the harbinger of things to come - that in general, people are helpful.

We reached Allahabad and realize that the bus conductor forgot to give us change and just as we were about to give up, comes a rickshaw wallah offering to take us to the bus. We woke the conductor up and collected the change - and invited the rickshaw wallah for tea at 130 in the night - which he was grateful to partake.

Another rickshaw chap in Allahabad insisted of coming along with us expecting nothing in return. Ditto for the rickshaw driver in Lucknow who was very happy waiting for us and driving us around the city. We had a great experience at Sarnath as well.

Varanasi, of course, was a class apart...We received some interesting fundas from the proprietor of Kedareshwar sweets near Cantt on how cows are being grain instead of grass and how that affects the quality of milk.

A wrestler in Allahabad, a few other 'pehelwans' who thought Bangalore was Chennai, a school teacher, couple of sadhus and then some...

All along the way, we met various people who were curious and helpful - and that in general has been my experience across much of the country too...

'Assume goodwill' when it comes to people. And of course, to go with the 'flow' - our big learnings from this entire exercise.

Wanderers, Mendicants and Sadhus

2013-03-09T10:06:00.000+05:30

The time we spent in Varanasi, we saw people of all kinds. There were pilgrims who had come there with a clear purpose. Visiting a few temples (and a few more temples), performing a few rituals, getting the best bargain possible and going back. They require the dedication of commandos to wake up at unearthly hours, take a dip in ice cold water, stand a queue for hours and yet they do it. In pilgrim center after pilgrim center, it is the faith that sustains them. They are willing to undertake any hardship to have a 'darshan' of their god - indeed, they see all the inconvenience as a test of god - which is a reason why our pilgrim centers can do with the current levels of infrastructure and facilities - while in reality they could be so much better.

Then there are the sadhus, bhikshus and mendicants - wandering around seeking enlightenment. These are people with very few possessions or pretensions, though there are different degrees of sadhus as well. They stay at a place, then go to an ashram or another place and wander around seeking god. To think that they are following a rich history of a few thousand years is amazing. Today, we are skeptical of such seekers, when they come, not for alms, but for a meal or a rupee or two, but this is a part of Indian culture and tradition. I was particularly moved a one sight. An old mendicant- came outside a sweet shop (seems to be a regular) and chanted in a low tone - Jai Ram, Siya Ram - and waited patiently for a good half an hour. Until finally, the shopowner gave him a glass of milk - which he was content to take away - no questions asked. Perhaps that was his meal or his only meal of the day, but it was gratifying to see that he was not shooeed away - not by the owner or by his customers - and that they thought that a little benevolence on their part would go a long way for him. This is a great part of our tradition - giving away - even a little bit each day to the deserving. True, there are beggars and lazy chaps who do nothing and yet spread their palms for money - indeed the whole nation is looking for doles, but there are seekers and mendicants who ask for very little. This sight was very moving.

Then there are the next class of wanderers - who I call rich wanderers. These were mostly foreigners who have taken a break to wander around in India. Either with backpacks or backpack and a camera, they roam around the country at places like these. I saw many of them meditating, doing yoga, wandering about, soaking the sights of India. The aspect of wandering seems to be quite a prized thing for them.

Why I say this, is that we found almost nobody 'like us' - Indians from the cities who were wandering around for a few days. As a nation, as a culture, we have been great wanderers and have planted roots in many parts of the world and our own country, but the aspect of aimless wandering for even a few days seems to have been lost among us (yes, Kishor, you are an exception). Perhaps we are caught up in earning a living at one level or at another level, we prefer to wander in exotic places (read foreign), but having done this for the second time, we resolved to do more of this. To see more of our country by wandering about..

One has to lose himself to find himself...

Flowing city

2013-03-09T08:39:00.001+05:30

Varanasi or Kashi as it is known became a big part of our itinerary without us planning that way. We found ourselves in Varanasi at the end of a long, rattling, bus ride through much of the afternoon. As we made our way to Godowlia crossing to see the Ganga ghats, we were quite excited. And there is a particular point, when the river becomes visible as you walk - that was quite a moment. We walked down to the ghats which, as usual (as we were to discover later) was filled with people. Pilgrims, wanderers, photographers and many other sub categories.

First we watched the river from the city, then we watched the city from the river - morning and evening. And then walked around the little streets of the city. We sat on the ghats and marvelled at the flow of the city. There is a lot of apparent chaos, but there is also order. Depending on whether you want chaos or order, you get them. Or if you want silence, that is there too. We watched the sun rise over the city from the other side, watching the sun bathe the city in its golden glow - as it has done for centuries. The gentle swaying river as we boated back and forth had a calming effect.

The Ganga aarti is perhaps the closest we have to an 'event'. In many international destinations, there are shows put on for tourists and visitors. The Ganga aarti as it is today is quite a visual spectacle. And it attracts quite a few people and it is done very well.

Yes, this is how the worlds oldest living city would have been. For 3500 years. Where chaos and order intermingle. Where pilgrims would have bathed in the Ganga for millenia. Where the samosa sellers and the shops would have hawked their wares for ages. To think that this city is basically unchanged over all these years was mindblowing to think of. Except for the dresses and perhaps the shopfronts, the city would have been the same. Seekers, pilgrims, wanderers...all of those who make this city a city of flow.

The Flowing city of Varanasi has left quite an indelible impression on my mind...

In a way, the Kumbh mela and life is also about flow. Flow with life as they say, like a river. Is it a coincidence that much of human civilization was riparian to begin with...

Deep fried tales

2013-03-08T17:23:00.000+05:30

Wake up. Put big pan on fire. Pour oil. Deep fry. Serve delicious food. Every morning.

Puris - rich, biteable, wheaty and delicious. Bhature, oval shaped, fluffy and crispy (maida it is, but we will ignore health for the purposes of this post). Samosas, for breakfast - take that, all those who live South of the Vindhyas. And Jalebis - sweet, dripping with sugar syrup, orange and crisp. Paranthas - made to order. And cook some lovely accompaniments - like Chole, Alu Sabji. (For some reason, Rajma was missing in most places...any idea why?)

All across Varanasi, Allahabad, the Sangam area, Lucknow, this is the description of food. Deep fried, piping hot, breakfast. Lunch is usually a thali or rice with cholle or some such. Somehow, the Samosa and the puri seem to be breakfast favourites, but the roti takes over at lunch.

And I have not yet spoken about the sweets - the Khova, the Paneer, the Rabdi, the Hot Milk, the other sweets. And the lassi, with a blob of malai floating over it - if its sweet, it is just right sweet, not overpowered like a sugar bomb. And yes, I missed eating the launglatha...

Every place. From Cantt in Varanasi, to Godhulia crossing to Lucknow to Sangam. Amazing food.

The amazing part is that all this food is subtle. The tastes dont jar. They are just right and soft on the tongue. The sweets are not overly sugared. The samosas not overly spiced. This is bit different from what I have experienced - street food in general, is not subtle. The tastes stand out. The mirchi powder often strains your throat later. The oil is often oxidized.

But across 3 cities, the food was a revelation. Bordering, and often reaching, perfection. We chomped on Samosas and Jalebis for breakfast. Tried Sattu paratha. Chokha Bati. Puri Sabji with free jalebis. And the Malai Makhan - a Varanasi speciality.

And the Kachoris. (And yet, after all this gastronimic gymnastics, the stomach was in perfect condition.) Paneer with salt sprinkled on it. Some melt-in-the-mouth rasagolla, hot Khova with just the natural sweetness of milk (and that is just so good).And this is just the stuff we tried. We missed trying the chaat, the chole-pakode, the masala kachori and perhaps 90% of the menu.

There are no refrigerators, most of the food is in front of you, in big baskets, big plates, big vessels - sometimes on a low flame, sometimes, just so. Served not in fancy plates with tissues or wraps, but in ordinary steel plates or in leaf containers that beat plastic by a mile. All this at a cost that makes your wallet smile.

And the tea, uniformly sweet, mildly flavoured, but brewed as it is usually is in places like these. Not for the dip dip connoisseurs or those who sip green tea at their desks - this is the real tea. And every place the tea tasted perfect.

(Aside: The birds here are also fed some form of farsan - is that the secret of migratory birds returning?)

After all this, we reached Bangalore, very hungry, took a long agonizing look through the glass refrigerator of a chain that sells frozen food as fresh food. And picked up an apology of a prepacked sandwich with cheese, corn and palak. It was served, microwaved, wrapped in foil, packed in a brown bag and two tissues and a huge bill. As I bit into it, I dreamt of a piping hot paratha or the chole pakode that we had missed. Sigh!

North Indians and South Indians

2013-03-07T20:41:00.000+05:30

It was my first visit up North - beyond the obvious big cities and the 'tourist circuit'. Sure, I have been to Jaipur, Delhi, Shimla and the like, but Allahabad, Lucknow and Varanasi were a first.

Now, in general, we tend to believe that South Indians are a genial lot and North Indians are the aggressive lot. And by and large that might be true and it has held true across my previous visits, though I would only keep Delhi on the list. Or if you take the average Bangalorean and the average Delhiite. And the average Chennai autodriver might be an equal to the average Delhi autodriver. And an occasional Bangalore auto driver might give both of them a run for their money.

But on this trip, we found the roles slightly reversed. Especially, when it came to fares. Most rickshaws quoted a fairly reasonable fare for the destinations we wanted to go. Sure, there were a couple of them that quoted some random numbers that can give a shiver to googol, but by and large, they were in the range of the numbers we know and recognize as auto fares.

A common thing in Bangalore if you get off a bus is autodrivers who will offer to drive you to some nearby destination at the price of a plot in that destination. Or business class airfare. Or a 5 star room equivalent. And then you walk away and settle for the price of a smaller plot. Or economy class. Or a 3 star room. And the auto driver is happy. And so are you, because you bargained and won!

All of these places were not like this. The rates were reasonable and quoted within an acceptable range - by rickshaw drivers, cycle rickshaw drivers. But the best were the Vikram drivers - same fares for all accents, skin types and gender. Sure, one has to be smart, know the language and keep ones wit about themselves and bargain a bit, but that is required anywhere.

So, the typical stereotype that we associate with South versus North was seriously challenged this time, atleast for us. And Lucknow was an absolute revelation - the auto driver was as good as any guide and very happy to wait with us. As was the sweet shot chap (Raj Sweet house) who was better than any sweet shop chap we have met anywhere.

Was it the negotiation experiences with Bangalore autodrivers over the last many years that prepped us for it? Or what you seek is what you get, perhaps? Or perhaps it was the magic of the Kumbh?

The Kumbh Mela

2013-03-06T20:24:00.001+05:30

It all began with Twitter. There were a few on my timeline who were tweeting about the Maha Kumbh Mela, 2013 and a thought took root in my mind. Can I make it to the Kumbh Mela this year? After all, it was tempting to be part of the worlds oldest and largest human gathering - and it seemed within reach too. And The Kumbh Mela was not a place that had ever figured in my list of 'things to experience'.

And I must admit that I did not know that the Kumbh is a month long event. A series of events happened in the meantime and I was resigned to going there after 12 years. But then, as it happens, somehow, there is a force in the universe that ensured that I would make it to Kumbh this year. And so I did. But thats for later.

At first, the reactions of the people were somewhat of a revelation. And it continues to be so. For a lot of India, the kind of India in the cities, perhaps, English educated elite like us, the Kumbh Mela seems to be some sort of a place where we dont go to. Perhaps it is conditioning, perhaps it is the fear of crowds, perhaps it is the feeling of infra dig, but whatever, a lot of people I mentioned this to thought it was 'uncool'. To be honest, in the pre-twitter era, I would have thought of it likewise too, but twitter has opened my eyes to our traditions and history among other things.

Some asked me, if everything was ok in my life. There were others who asked me, why am I going? Yet others thought that the Kumbh was a mythical event - as in, not real - only spoken about in movies. Then there were those who thought it was a great idea to be part of such an event. Some thought it was cool. A few encouraged me, called me and even wished me luck. The best one was where someone told me that it was important to 'wander'.

After coming back from the Kumbh, I must admit that the reactions have still been along almost all of these lines. And a feeling of incredulity - as in - you have actually been there - wow! And, you are the only person I know who has ever been there.

It is kind of interesting to note the range of reactions that a momentous event like this evokes in us. It is worth a thought. In general, as Hindus, we have the liberty of ignoring, questioning and even poking fun at our traditions. That is a good thing - life is too short to be taken seriously. But having said that, am not sure if the reactions would have been the same if it was a rock concert or Burning Man or some such thing.That is perhaps the result of our constant looking up to Western traditions as 'cooler'. Perhaps yes, perhaps not.

Perhaps twitter will contribute to the coolness of the Kumbh wiping a bit off our schooling that did not teach us our history and traditions well. From the last couple of times (the smaller kumbhs), there are services that offer luxury tents with some spectacular views of the kumbh at spectacular costs. There are spiritual gurus who offer guided tours. And then those Harvard case studies. And foreigners. And then some.

Whatever, the case, I am thankful that I was able to be part of this historic gathering and soak in the energy of the Sangam. And yes, there were many who longed to be part of this event - so I see the event gaining in strength year on year. More power to the Kumbh Mela and its yatris...

Performer versus vapourware

2013-02-20T20:24:00.000+05:30

Imagine you walk into a hospital for anything – as small as a common cold or as complicated as a heart surgery. For some reason, the doctor does not turn up. You have the choice of meeting the doctors kid who has no medical degree who will diagnose and/or operate upon you or you have the choice of going to another hospital pronto. (I can already picture you running…)

Imagine that you are the caption of the Indian (or any other, gully) cricket team. You have a big match coming up. And your star player has retired. Who would you choose next? Would you go in for someone who is the backup? Or would you choose the star players kid who has little to show by way of playing in cricket at an international level?

You perhaps know where I am heading to, but bear with me.

Imagine that you are working on something important at work and you need your boss to take a look at it for some final, crucial inputs. But the boss is a little busy and recommends that you meet his son instead who graduated yesterday.

Sounds funny? Almost laughable? Does it not? Given any situation, you would always pick a person who is a performer – a track record of performance and something to show for his skills rather than someone who is fresh off the block. Hell, you would do that for a cook. If you cannot verify the cooks degree, you will ask the chap to give you a trial day to check and perhaps a week before you confirm.

So, when faced with the choice of the Prime Minister of the country, who would you choose?

Would you vote for the kid of a dynasty who has little to show by way of administrative experience? Whose party (and various alliance) has been found guilty of various corruption allegations? Whose party members and alliance members have spent time in jail – just in the last 8 odd years of delivering what in their words is ‘Bharat Nirmaan’? Who has till date, not given a live interview? Who has not thought it fit to attend parliament regularly and ask questions of those who he purports to represent? Whose, one constituency, is not a showcase of how he can handle a constituency (one out of the 543 that make up India’s parliament), but a disaster across almost all human indices?

Or would you cast your vote for someone who has delivered good governance in one state over nearly 15 years now? Who has gone against the grain of offering freebies to some section of the people and delivered them some of the basic needs that have not been met in most parts of the country since 60 years of independence? Who, as of today, stands regarded as one of the most capable and able administrators? Who has managed to inspire a government, a population and many beyond his own home state? Who constantly connects with people over traditional and non-traditional media? Whose state, despite being one of the rain deficit states has managed to show agricultural growth year on year? Whose state has attracted the best industries to set up shop over the last many years? And whose state has had no whiff of corruption scandals while the entire country reeks of corruption and bribery. And I can go on and on…

I don’t know about you, but I will go with experience and proven ability than the vacuous marketing of nothing. When Gujarat’s election percentage jumped, there was a collective orgasm amongst some members of the media who thought that all that enthusiasm was to vote out a performing government and get in a corrupt one? Really? The people are smarter than that – at least that is what those state and subsequent lower level election results from there tell me.

And that in a nutshell has been the story of our ‘new’ old hope that is being marketed to us. Now, it is entirely plausible that the new improved hope will deliver us yet another puppet who will stay put in the saddle for another 5 years. Which is worse? I leave you to think about it.

One last point. There are reams and reams of paper being written about whether Gujarat’s development numbers are a decimal point here or a decimal point there. Or whether the last third decimal is better than other states or if Gujarat is behind Mizoram in power. Or how two surveys have a percent point gap.

But everywhere, there is uniform agreement that even Amethi and Rae Bareilly are in the boondocks despite years of being the dynasty’s constituencies. Think about it.

One state which is developing versus a couple of constituencies which are still languishing?

Still want to enthusiastically vote for a non-performer? Sure. Go ahead. In that case, you surely get the government you seek.

(This piece was posted at Niticentral.)

It cannot be done, it cannot be done

2013-02-12T09:07:00.003+05:30

More reams of newsprint have been written on and more airtime spent and more internet bandwidth, gigabytes have been spent on Narendra Modi than perhaps anyone else in Indian political history. Possibly, the rulers at the center have spent more money propping up these cardboard props as well.

Many talking heads have shaken their heads, very solemnly and pronounced, why Mr. Modi cannot become the Prime Minister of this country. And as they are wont to, they put the cart before the horse each time, pronouncing the verdict even before the chargesheet is filed.

Truth is that, right now, the only thing that is known is that Modi is clearly a frontrunner to be the candidate from the BJP whenever the 2014 elections are announced. Not even his actual candidature has been declared thus far. And even if his candidature is declared (and there are many including yours truly who would like to see it happen). From that point onward the BJP needs to win seats - which in my mind is the easier thing to do.

Post that, it has to match the shenanigans of the Congress and its money power and its rather magnetic ability to attract allies who are ever eager for a slice off the large pie that the 'service of people' often offers (which lesser mortals euphemistically term corruption). And then of course, the badge called secularism - the form practiced by Congress and eagerly supported by their media which is a perfect foil for indulging in corruption.

And as you can see, these are tougher than the mere formality of winning seats.

And I saw this video of CRI Editor Sahab trying to defend Modi amidst 3 other entities whose sole claim to fame is establishment worship or thereabouts about why Mr. Modi cannot be the Prime Minister of India . And that too on a channel that is known for dynasty worship. That is when it hit home.

This whole scene of the triumvitrate reminded me of the quote,

People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it - variously attributed to multiple people.

and
Those who say it can't be done should get out of the way of those who are doing it. Joel Arthur Barker

And also of the so called Crab mentality .

For all those talking heads saying it cannot be done for various, apparently, scholarly, reasons - the man, Narendra Modi is doing very well himself - for his 6 crore Gujaratis who are doing very well, thank you.

If these naysayers went ahead and did something productive, it might be worthwhile for the country, instead of airing their views on why someone should not be a Prime Minister candidate. Unless they are on the payroll of some National Berozgar Journalist Scheme.

A note on health

2013-02-10T17:04:00.002+05:30

India is supposed to be well on its way to become the diabetes capital of the world. Lifestyle diseases are on the upswing in India. And it is not something that happens to others - it will happen to anyone of us.

Look around you, in your workplace. There are people with diabetes, cholesterol and having medication for the same. This is not normal. Mostly, these diseases used to afflict people in their 50s and 60s, but now we see people in their 30s being treated for these diseases.

The reason is very simple. In the olden, pre-prosperity days, we ate local, ate traditional local, simple food and had rich food only in feasts. Now, with our new found prosperity, technically, we have a feast everyday. And quite obviously, our body cannot take it.

The average distance my dad used to walk was about an hour each day. My grandfather probably walked more than that each day (simple observation based on his daily routine). I walk much lesser (left to myself that is). Which is why we need to exercise.

Net result? Cholesterol, Diabetes and what not.

Do remember this, lifestyle diseases are not as genetic as people make them out to be.

This is not about crash diets, crazy workouts or any such thing. It is a simple daily balance sheet. What you do each day is what counts. Each day you overeat, adds up those inches at your waist. Each day you under exercise, the fat accumulates inside your arteries and the sugar level increases. Each day you sit more than you stand, your body idles more.

So, do something each day. There is no secret to good health than this. As Peter Drucker said, 'Excellence is what you do each day', so too is fitness - what you do each day is what keeps you fit. More on this later.

Intelligent Calendar please

2013-01-31T05:00:00.002+05:30

A few years back, we were all celebrating the arrival of Web 2.0 which was an improvement over Web 1.0. Static websites were dead, dynamic was in. The web was pronounced to be ‘intelligent’. And then came the app wave – which we are in now. And the logical next step is supposed to be internet of things. But there is some more intelligence that can be built in – in some small simple ways. Take a calendar for instance.

In my view, that calendar which we use in most web apps is one of the remnants of the dinosaur age of the internet and needs some tweaking.

In most websites – travel booking websites – the calendars are still organized monthly. As in, let us say, that today, 31^st Jan, I try to book a ticket – the calendar will show me static months. Some websites have the provision of multiple months nearby, but this is not the same thing as being able to move your mouse and change the month. Or in a mobile phone – when I click calendar, I should see, logically, date starting from today – and showing me a slightly longer perspective than the current month with the next 2 days and a greyed out February first week. Question is, why cant these calendars be ‘intelligent’?

Or, better put, why do calendars still follow a frozen monthly pattern as we used to see in paper based calendars. There, is actually, no calendar designed for the internet – not that I have seen one yet. Is there a better calendar, an intelligent one, designed for the internet?

The curious case of Daood Gilani

2013-01-31T04:54:00.003+05:30

Daood Gilani, aka, David Headley was a tourist to India. When the history is written, he will have been among the first terror tourist to India - and perhaps he will open a new vista of tourism like medical tourism in India.

Pardon the satire, but this tourist made 5 visits to India between 2006 and 2008 (though the NIA chargesheet details many more). From the wiki link, is this,

"Headley said Iqbal gave him $25,000 to set up a front company in Mumbai as a cover while conducting reconnaissance for the attacks. Headley spent months scouting the Taj Mahal Hotel and other targets for Mir and Iqbal. The latter also sent him on separate missions to gather intelligence on an atomic research center and military sites around India. Iqbal contributed advice about tactical issues to the Mumbai plot: escape routes for the gunmen, setting up a safe house, hijacking an Indian vessel at sea." [wikipedia][specifically read the section, Participation in the Mumbai 2008 Attacks]

This man was charged with about 35 years in prison a few days back.

Now in all of these visits, the man had a few friends in India - some who we know and many we dont. B Raman, thinks that the latter is a part of the puzzle, Indian authorities have been reluctant to piece together.

He calls Headley and Rana as the tip of the iceberg even as he writes,

7.The hidden iceberg itself consisted of the contacts of Headley and Rana in the Indian Muslim community who facilitated their frequent clandestine travels to India for helping the LET leaders in Pakistan and the ISI in planning and executing the 26/11 strikes. Surprisingly, neither in the narrative of the FBI nor in that of the NIA is there much reference to the Indian cells of Headley and Rana. No attempt has been made to identify them and question them.[Raman Strategic Analysis]

In another blog post, he writes:

7. From the moment Rana was arrested, I have been pointing out that while extradition may be difficult in the case of Headley, it may not be difficult in the case of Rana and that we should press for it in order to collect details of the Headley-Rana network in India. Again intriguingly, this option has till now not been vigorously pursued by the NIA, which works under the MHA. At least now, we should try for his extradition.[Raman Strategic Analysis]

I cringe having to link to this Praveen Swami article, after his latest apology of an article, but well, this one is good.

If you see the level of detail that has gone into the video recordings made for Mumbai - many hours worth of video - that is no mean thing.

Early last December, interrogators from the Mumbai Police and Intelligence Bureau listened patiently as Mohammad Ajmal Amir “Kasab” described just how he knew his way around a building he had never seen, in a city he had never visited.

Like the other nine members of the assault team that killed 163 people in Mumbai last November, Amir explained, he was shown hours of videotape of his target — the Chattrapati Shivaji Terminus station.
Headley, the documents filed by the FBI state, “was instructed to take boat trips in and around the Mumbai harbour and take surveillance video.” [The Hindu]

This piece states how he stayed with his wife at the Taj and the Trident (both of which were targets for the November 2008 massacre.

The chargesheet alleges that Headley was instructed by his handlers based in Pakistan to carry out reconnaissance of the 2nd floor of the Taj Mahal hotel, particularly the ball room and conferences halls. On the instruction from his handler, Headley and Faiza first stayed at Taj Mahal hotel for three days and then checked into Oberoi Trident on April 30. The two stayed at Trident till May 2, 2007 and again checked into Taj Mahal hotel on May 3, 2007 where the couple stayed for a few more days, according to the chargesheet.

The NIA has also brought on record the travel details of Faiza from Pakistan and Headley who was on his sixth visit to India when he carried out surveillance of the two hotels.

The NIA chargesheet claims that Headley made eight visits to India before the 10 terrorists carried out the attacks. The first visit by Headley was made in June 2006. [Financial Express]

Now, there has been a lot of debate about whether there was any local support or not for the entire operation. To me, it seems intriguing that for the Mumbai attacks, just a few people have been arrested so far. And that this chap David Headley was tried in the US. One terrorist captured alive -was executed a few weeks back. Those being tried in Pakistan have as much chance of being proven 'guilty' by their legal process as much as Javed Miandad had of being declared lbw in Pakistan.

Incredibly no one, absolutely no one in Pakistan has been punished for this crime (as far as I know and despite all those dossier bombings by India).

Dont know about you, but I need a guide for sightseeing tourist spots - atleast in my first visit. And if you talk of extensive recces at any place spread over months, all that requires a fair amount of local knowledge - that is not even available in your lonely planet guides - you dont get it unless you spend time locally and with people. If so, the terrorists would have just walked in with a lonely planet guide book no? But anyway, nobody in India has helped these terrorists in any way - atleast going by the arrests so far...not even the lonely planet guide book.

Related Links: Propublica has been covering this topic extensively.

And this great one hour video as well, which I had written about...

Whatsapp disrupting carriers

2013-01-19T10:02:00.000+05:30

Every festival time, our great mobile carriers hike their SMS rates. Even for those who have paid for an 'SMS Plan'. They send us a helpful note saying, for the next few days, we will charge you a bomb for SMS - your plan will not be applicable.

But right under their noses, there is a service called whatsapp - which is a platform agnostic messaging service that works across Android, iOS and Blackberry. And this year, most of the wishes I received were over whatsapp.Perhaps it made a dent in the service providers revenues, perhaps it did not, but it is disrupting the market bigtime.

As a service whatsapp is far more richer than SMS among other things. Cost is lower and offers a far greater user experience. As more and more people buy smartphones, and people take up mobile internet, the old SMS could soon be a thing of the past, except for perhaps service alerts and suchlike.

Now here is what service providers could do. First, is the obvious, hike their tariff on SMS even more. Or hike their internet charges (this I think is anyway happening, very soon, one way or other). But if they thought of it, they could perhaps create their own messenger service across platforms or even look for a tie up with whats app. Or drop their SMS prices really low. Or whatever else. But mostly, they will do the obvious.

Washing Powder proposal

2013-01-13T18:26:00.002+05:30

Presenting Rain (Barkha in Hindi) brand washing powder.

Best when used on certain propaganda machines, but works over other friendly machines too.

Caution: Works only for 'secular' dirt.

Slogan: Secular daag achche hain

Services offered by New Dhulai Tele Washers (one of two exclusive sale outlet of Rain washing powder):

Ticker Services: First, we ignore the dirt. Then, if it spreads too much, we use a little washing powder strip to clean it locally over a small area. Only if it does not work, we recommend other solutions.

Long Cycle wash: Image sullied? Ticker did not work? No problems. Check into our laundry where over an interview, your image will be washed clean of all daags. A few tears may be needed to soften the image later, but the laundry can handle that – technology is no problem here.

24x7 service: Need a quick image makeover? Let us know. We will send over our specialist technician diva to come over and redo your image over a thread by thread cleaning. Even at midnight. Charges, will, of course, vary, but surely, for an urgent image fix, charges should not be a factor.

The Duck Stops at your Home: We will come to your home, in your garden (err...why is that relevant) and do an interview at your place while your image gets washed. We will assure you the softest treatment of your image and deliver it at express speed across any friendly channel you desire - though Now-adays, at Times, it does not work.

We, the washerpeople: Sustained cleaning by a larger set of dhobis, used to clean images not cleaned by normal, local washing.

1.40 rupee sachet: Quick image washing services for 1.40 rupees only. Again, open 24X7, even when we are closed for other services. Offer open only for VIP customers. Direct Messages accepted. Multi-use recommended for sustained instant image cleaning.

Fan Services: On sending an appreciative note, a free 1.40 sachet will be delivered almost instantly. No guarantee or warranty. Multi-use may not work.

Life Time Service Agreement: Currently this offer is closed. And cannot be availed. Limited customers only, by invitation.

Country Level Agreement: Currently closed. Periodically offer opens to 'secular' nations, 'secular' protests.

Also, available, Chalta-Bakta (loosely, translated, walking-talking) services for portable use.

Caveat Emptor: Works with secular dirt only, not communal dirt. Even a small fleck of communal dirt will be magnified by the use of this product.

Proposed Hindi Jingle:

Washing Powder Barkha, washing powder Barkha

doodh si safedi, Barkha se aaye

jaldi se 'secularon' ko safedi mil jaaye

(sing to the tune of a familiar old washing powder ad)

(This is satire, what did you expect?)

The Strategic Trap

2013-01-09T20:04:00.005+05:30

With Pakistan, India seems to have fallen into a strategic trap of its own making. These are the two most popular strategic theories that go along are something like this.

Strategy 1: ‘The two countries are armed with nuclear weapons. Therefore, if India does something, we run the risk of it escalating it into a full scale nuclear war.’

Strategy 2: ‘There are elements within Pakistan who want to destabilize the peaceful relations with India and Pakistan. Therefore, we need to not play into their hands by doing they want us to do – which is fight, hence, we will sit tight regardless of what Pakistan does’

If I translate this into street language, it means, in situation 1, Pakistan can do anything, if we retaliate in any way, they will nuke us. Exhibit: Kargil and yesterday’s mutilation of soldiers, where we remained spectators and in Kargil we bombed our own territory.

Situation 2 is a subset of 1 – which is that Pakistan can do anything and claim some non-state actor did it and therefore we must sit tight and let them get away with murder, literally. Exhibit: 26/11 (worst case so far).

Both of these are Strategic Traps. In this current line of thinking, we seem to believe that the only option available to us is non-retaliation. And we seem to have taken this very seriously. We believe in engaging with Track II diplomacy, we believe in people to people crap, relaxing visa restrictions, we believe in playing cricket matches, we believe in allowing their artists to perform here and in allowing trade delegations here. This is apart from planning to build pipelines through Pakistan or supplying locomotives or diesel or electricity or relief material or something.

Essentially, this means, that the thief next door can keep stealing chickens from our house, but we pretend that nothing is happening and maintain normalcy, because if we do, he might bring out his big knife and stab us. We seem to forget that we have a bigger knife in our home and we are bigger and stronger – and that we can use it. But he has become so brazen that he keeps stealing chickens and we keep behaving like one.

How can this be broken? I don’t know how the policy makers that be can be shown a different door to walk through, but I can see a few things.

One, ban all this track II diplomacy crap. Stop supplying locomotives and diesel and such things. Stop engaging with their cricket team (by the way, exactly the way Pakistan does with a certain country by the name of Israel), their artistes. And yes, please build a counter strike (covert and overt) capability – better than the way they have with us. And use it, disproportionately, once. And watch them cringe. The beauty is India needs to do this just once. That will shut them up. If they dont, well, we can take some damage and live to tell the tale.

Recognize that their entire country is gone – gone to the dogs. Those so called brothers are ours have died or senile and a new generation of fundos have taken over. Start from Salman Taseers assassination and how his assassin is being treated to Hafiz Saeed and Malala. There is no living breathing exhibit of tolerance or mutual respect emanating from that country.

Retaliate. Do what it takes. And there are many options. From water to diplomacy to banning sports and music and a million other things. Indians are not missing Pakistani artistes or cricketers or shawls or rice. Let them keep it with them alongwith their terrorists and their poisonous ideology.

And I have been saying this for years. Heres, Big Shi(f)t from 2010
September 2009: What you build is where you go

Jan 2009: Are you bored