Or maybe it’s about working with a company executive to redesign your job description and maximize your contribution in the areas you are most passionate about. (You say impossible, but I just supported a client, as her career coach, to do this very thing to the tune of a $30K raise.)

Career growth – whether that is career change, career advancement or starting your own business – is dependent upon your willingness to take some risks. Are you ready for it, or do you prefer to play it safe and reject change?

Some questions to ask yourself…

• Does every decision involve endless debates with yourself?
• Do you accept less than what you should because you’re afraid to speak up?
• Do you have difficulty making emotional commitments to others?
• Do you make up excuses that stop you from saying yes to opportunities that will help you grow, learn or expand your comfort zone?
• Does fear of disapproval keep you from doing what you’d really like to do?

A “yes” answer to any of these questions indicates a reluctance to take risks. This may explain why you’re feeling job burnout, why you dread Monday mornings when you have to face your demanding boss or another difficult situation at work. What small risk are you ready to take today?

You have all been so generous with your birthday wishes, Facebook posts and voicemail songs in celebration of my birthday. It has meant a lot to me to return home from our vacation to all this good mojo. This really is what birthdays are about. Because so many of you have asked how my birthday was or have sent lovely cards and sentiments, I wanted to say thank you. I’ve decided to respond in a group note in an effort to answer that question once and maybe even use this story as an opportunity to shift some perspective for both myself and others. Will try not to be maudlin, but intend to truly celebrate my birthday and the precious gifts of life and love with this note.

My birthday was a huge gift for many reasons.

I got to learn that in a terrible emergency…

…it feels better to have 3 of the people you love most in the world right there with you.

…almost nothing else matters in that moment except what’s happening to fellow loved ones and other humans, that 5 seconds before you didn’t even know.

…fear and compassion can coexist without a tug of war and is actually quite healing.

…while SUVs are not the greatest for our environment, that much metal can protect us in ways we often take for granted.

…a series of small choices can create “sliding door moments” and our choices really do matter.

…feelings can live in our body tissue and cells and get released, processed or metabolized in unexplained ways that are very different in both timing and tone for each person.

…we all react very differently in emergencies. Not only is it ok, it’s “perfect” because what I learned is that very often we can each use our strengths to step into roles that are needed. What’s amazing is that this happens with zero negotiation, analysis or critical voices toward ourselves or others. The roles we step into naturally when we aren’t thinking are truly our gifts; ones connected to our Life Purpose, and probably have a lot to do with who we truly are outside the box of our business cards.

…a birthday doesn’t have to be ruined in the middle of something awful if you remember to take stock of all you DO have that truly matters.

…first responders are a truly gifted bunch of people who contribute an amazing amount to very difficult circumstances for little pay (and often grumbling from the rest of us for a variety of reasons).

…passing words from a total stranger, who is there one second and then disappears can ring poignant reminders and comfort in your ears for days and I dare each of us to be that stranger at some time.

…a second can feel like a nanosecond and 2 hours can feel like 2 days so it reminds me that time is what you make of it.

…we are connected to each other as human beings (whether we know each others’ names or not) in ways that we mostly don’t pay attention to until we do.

So by now, you’re thinking OMG, what happened? The short story is that we were involved in a terrible accident on the afternoon of my birthday while Bob and I were vacationing in the Santa Ynez Valley with two dear friends. The four of us are quite amazingly fine, but very likely not the same. Our beloved friend was the designated driver who had made a conscious choice not to do any wine tasting. The person most injured was a 73 year old motorcyclist who hit our SUV and was thrown quite a substantial distance with his bike left to bits and medivac-ed by helicopter out of the scene. Very thankfully, we’ve gotten word he is stable and doing unexpectedly well. And really, that’s all that matters so let’s just leave all the retelling of details to the police report.

Instead, use that energy that you might have asked for more details to:

• kiss your wife and tell her how much you love her
• show your partner how much you trust them
• take a shower with your husband even when there’s laundry to fold
• take your kid ice skating even when there are bills due
• know that people are not out to ruin your day, but are dealing with their own fears
• remind someone you don’t even know how much they matter
• make conscious choices
• be willing to wait for an email response for more than 24 hours because you have no idea what each person’s day has really been about
• say thank you 10 times a day for lots of reasons and
• trust that we each have our own journeys and a guardian angel or two.

Barb

I find the Universe has a funny way of delivering a kick in the butt if it’s time for us to step forward, stretch or make a change. And if we resist that change or taking a risk, a kick in the butt can even show up as a two by four if we’re not paying attention.

Ever hear of someone getting laid off or fired when they had long since outgrown the job and knew they were overdue to move on?

Mental or emotional risks can sometimes feel like we are putting our personal values or beliefs on the line. In this sense, they may ultimately feel more dangerous than physical risks, even something like jumping out of an airplane. The good news is that one seemingly risky choice can change our whole belief system of what’s possible for us. And really, if we look at it another way, risks are simply decisions we are ready to make.

These are the challenges that we are asked to face over and over again if we are to continue to grow and advance in our careers and create a life we love. As magical and synchronistic as life can sometime be, I don’t think you can create a life and career you love, waiting for it to knock on the front door while you sit on the couch. Each time we take a risk that contributes to our professional growth, enhances our self-esteem or enriches our work life, we make the choice to stretch ourselves. There are no guarantees, but what may be perceived as a potential failure could become the greatest gift you ever gave yourself.

What career planning decision is it time for you to make? Are you ready to tell the truth about needing a career transition? Is your dream job still out there somewhere?

Photo Credit C1ssou

In fact, we cause our own stress. Yep. It’s true. We create tremendous internal pressure and anxiety with bad habits all by ourselves. Consider the habits listed below. Then ask yourself what ideas you have to turn around that habit that doesn’t serve you. I’ve added a few suggestions here.

1. Self-criticism. Tame your inner critic (that’s the part of you that shakes a finger at you). Focus on your strengths and forgive yourself.

2. Powerlessness. Don’t believe you have no options. Open your eyes and see all the choices available to you.

3. Perfectionism. Do your best, but let go of the elusive goal to be perfect. Instead, be perfectly human and focus on completion.

4. Worry. Action is the best antidote, especially for situations you cannot control. Ask yourself what step you need to take now? It can be small and may not even be directly related to the situation. Maybe it’s about releasing that energy through creativity or taking a walk.

5. Unrealistic expectations. Life can never be problem-free, but your outlook can. What expectations are you ready to let go of?

6. Insecurity. Stop looking to others to provide reassurance. Build up your self-worth by doing good things for yourself and others. Listen to the part of you that knows your unique gifts and talents.

7. Hurrying. Try walking slower, chewing slower and working at a steady, but not frantic pace. You might be surprised to find yourself performing better. This might mean fewer lattes too. Sometimes sugar and caffeine can rev the motor way too much.

8. Comparing to others. This is a losing battle. The only question that matters is whether you have done your best. If this is a particular challenge for you, read #3 above again.

9. Pessimism. Expect the best instead of the worst, and life usually has a way of handing it to you. In other words, be willing to change “the lens” you look through.

10. Competition. No one has to lose in order for you to win. Try turning every situation into a win-win situation. And remember, there is literally only one unique you. By embracing each individual’s uniqueness, including your own, you free yourself from the need to compare.

Indulging in any one of these habits can turn mild work stress into full-fledged career burnout. Start today by adjusting your thought patterns with these simple suggestions, so that you can love your job again and get on the road to finding your own Internal Groove.

Self-Improvement Risks

These are the risks you take when you want to get ahead, learn something new or make a distant dream a reality. You take on the venture with hopes of enriching your life and advancing your career. Maybe you want to change careers, develop your skills or improve something that was identified on a performance review. On one side of the risk is the person you are or maybe even just the perception of who you are today and, on the other, the person you want to become. Imagine where this kind of risk can take you? Even better, think back and look for a risk you took in the past that delivered rockstar results. How did you make that happen and what were the benefits?

Commitment Risks

All commitment risks have emotional stakes whether you pledge yourself to a person, a value, a work team, a company or your own success as a business owner. According to Joseph Ilardo, author of Risk-Taking for Personal Growth, your emotional growth is dependent on making commitments. Who or what are you willing to say yes to? And yes – saying yes to yourself earns you extra credit!

Self-Disclosure Risks

Communication risks fall into the category of self-disclosure. Anytime you tell someone how you really feel, you’re taking the chance of self-disclosure. When you open up to others and reveal who you really are, how you feel and what you want and need, you make yourself vulnerable. This is why this type of risk feels so challenging, but consider that there are great gifts that come along with these types of risk. You can actually create an even closer connection to someone or get really clear that this is not a person or situation that you want to have in your life. Wouldn’t you rather have either of those outcomes over the bad feelings in your stomach for swallowing your truth? And here’s the good news: it IS possible to be assertive with grace and style with full respect for all those involved, including you.

All risks carry with them the possibility of failure, but challenging yourself is often the key to personal or professional growth and the gift of freedom – freedom to make your own choices and freedom to be who you really are. And what’s that worth to you?

A complete yes has no story behind it. No intellectualizing. No guilt . No agony. No inner rumblings. No yeah, buts. No doing it to please others. No doing it to look good or be liked. No inner critic tapping on our shoulder. It’s just YES. Period. And if it’s not that, completely, it’s a NO.

And the easiest way to say no is with the fewest number of words. As soon as you start talking too much, those who request things of us start finding holes in our story. A professional, polite no sounds something like this:

“Thank you so much for the offer/opportunity/thinking of me, but I already have a commitment so I’m going to say no.” That’s it. It does the job. Is friendly. Respectful. And, what commitment do you have? To YOURSELF. To what reeeally matters in your life. And you don’t need to get into this with anyone.

More people will respect you just from the energy you bring to this. They may not fully get why, but they will “feel” it from you. You will be dong more of what you really want. And your integrity will be fully intact without the need to runaround cleaning up stories that aren’t entirely true. Therefore, no guilt. No cobwebs. No regret. Just the truth from your authentic self. Now that is what I call “standing firmly in your own shoes.” And as they say, Rock On!