International Talk Like A Pirate Day - Ask Cap'n Slappy

Strange dreams from stranger correspondents

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:43:53 -0700

YO!

WHAT IS UP MY BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER!

i have this problem that has me so bamboozaled im talking like a crazy person ya dig?

Read on ...

Names for a hot pirate crew?

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 15:43:53 -0700

I am Lt. Lawrence with Depoe Bay Fire Dept. We are in a treasure hunt on Aug. 23rd and we need a team name! Do you have any great ideas? Our team is made up of 4 Firefighters.... Please help us so we do not end up in Davey Jones locker

Read on ...

When a lass disguises herself as a lad ...

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 18:26:46 -0700

Deaaaarrrrrr Cap'n Slappy;

I got meself a conundrum the size o' the leviathan. I set out for high adventure on the seven seas dollied up as a lad three years ago. Two weeks out to sea, th' crew found me out, an' though they've been fair civil for scallywags and ain't kicked me off, I've been POWDER MONKEY e'er since! ...
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In which advice arrives with a musical interlude

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 14:00:36 -0700

A young pirate dreads the start o' the school year, Cap'n Slappy parodies "Guys and Dolls" and we consider proper piratical insults.

All this and more ...

Cap'n Slappy's Beauty Tips

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 15:38:17 -0700

Dear Capn,

I once was a comely wench. But now that I be coming on 50 years I’m no longer the buxom and fair lass I was in my youth. Now I’m starting to look like a hag.

Capn, dear, do you have any advice and good words for a once fair maiden – or should I hang up the old Jolly Roger and be done with it?

Any beauty tips or diet suggestions would be helpful.

How do you keep in such swashbuckling form?

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Send me the CODE!

Thu, 22 May 2008 14:16:56 -0700

Avast ye Cap'n Slappy

i be a young pirate wanting to learn more about the ways of the 7 seas. ive recently lost a copy of the CODE in a taven fight! will you be willing to send me the CODE so can remenber a live by 'em.

from Cap'n Dan 'The mad man' P.

Ahoy Mad Cap’n Dan!

(Will Cap'n Slappy revealthe CODE? Read on to find out ...

What to feed the wenches

Mon, 21 Jan 2008 16:46:09 -0700

Cap'n Slappy,

I'll be invitin' some wenches over ta me ship an' I'm wonderin what grub I should be offerin'? They'll be 40 of us for a spring social.

Cap'n Bertha the Salty Wench
... Read more ...