Me and my husband are currently seperated and will be divorcing after i give birth to our second child. I have proof that he meets random pple online for sex. I went onto his email and found that he had a profile on xxxcupid.com and it had his username and password so i went to it and found him handing out his phone number to numerous women to meet up for sex. I printed ALL of the messages out and also an email where a woman sent him naked pictures. I knew he had a porn addiction, but i didnt know it got as bad as actually meeting pple for sex.
Anyways, will that evidence in court help me to gain full custody of my daughter and son-on-the-way?  . . . I just don’t want them spending the night with him until they are old enough to speak and tell me what’s going on.

Pornography and porn addiction is playing an increasingly more significant role in divorce. Couples fight over whether porn is cheating, women feel insulted by their husbands refusing to give up a porn habit. It is a sensitive and difficult issue. But what place can porn addiction play in the actual divorce and in a custody battle? If a woman can prove that her husband looks at pornography or has an addiction to sex sites, can she use that as an argument for getting full custody and even forbidding the father’s visitations?

Serial rapist and murderer Ted Bundy attributed his violence to a porn habit. That was before the Internet. Questioning whether someone addicted to pornography should be allowed to be alone with his children is a legitimate one.  It is a dilemma that many parents seem to be facing unfortunately.  Should you prevent a loving father from seeing his children because he has a porn habit? Are children in danger when a parent is obsessed with viewing pornography? Demonstrating proof to the court that a parent has a porn problem can lead the court to order limited visitation rights or supervised visitation.

And will the court leave room for a recovered porn addict to regain visitation rights with his children? It is important to realize that a porn addict is not in control and may truly want to recover, while also recognizing that the addiction can have a dangerous effect on his behavior. Recovery is possible and the court should acknowledge and consider the possibility. At the end of the day, it is the best interest of the children that should be taken into consideration in any custody battle and decision.

For advice on how to proceed in a divorce or custody battle when one parent may have a pornography dependency, it is best to consult with an attorney.

The message seemed believable -it did not occur to me it was spam. Then I saw on the same person’s wall a disclaimer – he had nothing to do with the chat messages all his Facebook friends were receiving from him.

The marketer in me admired the clever way someone had ensured a probably near 100% click through rate – who would not click on such a question from a trusted “friend” on Facebook?

Note to self — Facebook really is taking over the marketing world.

But the human in me was mad. A Facebook bug potentially exposed user’s names and photos to phishers and spammers. This is pretty big and a reminder of how naive we are. Think about how much information you reveal about yourself on Facebook and via Facebook. Not just your status updates, friends and photo uploads. Every chat you have, every message you send via Facebook, every app you use — its’s all stored in some unfathomably huge database just waiting for greedy marketers to get their hands on it, not to mention some CIA agents. For a real Facebook addict, uploading and updating every moment of their life, this should be very concerning. How much information about your life, what you do, where you go, who you correspond with and what you write – do you want logged into a database, just waiting for apps to pull it out and use so they can sell you something, consider you for a job without every contacting you, maybe profile you for a crime committed. I don’t know. The power of this thing seems beyond imagination! And it is bound to boomerang for more than a few people.

See in real time what people around the world are revealing about their Facebook Addiction. You won’t believe how epidemic Facebook addiction really is!
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2. E-mail Addiction
Some people are so dependent on email and the feeling they get when mail arrives to their Inbox, they may send themselves mail or register for newsletters just to ensure a constant flow. If a person is constantly checking their email – before they eat, while they, after they eat, on the way to the bathroom, just before heading out of the house, first thing they do when they get home . . . they may have developed a compulsive behavior. With that said and given how many people work today using email to communicate throughout the day, it may be hard to differentiate between compulsive email use and healthy email behavior.

3. eBay Addiction
I only bought one item on eBay and it was 10 years ago. It just did not do it for me. But thre are many people who are spending time on eBay all day and it becomes about more than just hunting for bargains for things they need. It becomes an addiction to the hunt itself. The thrill of finding something , the thrill of ordering it and the thrill of receiving it by mail make for an experience that can be very addictive and is always available. Many people get a rush from winning the bidding on eBay items similar to the rush gambler get. For some, it interferes with work, leads to overspending and causes tension within families.

4. Online Gambling Addiction
Online gambling can be an enjoyable alternative to visiting casinos but for those for whom it becomes a frequent activity, it usually ends up badly. Internet gambling has led to an overall increase in the number of people who gamble and consequently in the number of compulsive gamblers. People who would have never considered taking a trip to a casino or playing poker with friends are accessing bingo sites, betting sites and getting hooked. The Internet gambling sites are built to attract first time gamblers with irresistible temptations and even provide free money to get started.

5. Internet Addiction
Just being online can be addictive. More and more people are finding it too easy to spend hours each day online. They shop, read, play, communicate, etc. all from the comfort of their home. It can be convenient and seemingly enhance our lifestyle but when overused, it is an addiction with serious consequences – from back pain to weight gain to loss of friends to depression.

6. Internet Porn Addiction
From sex talk via chat to viewing online porn, the porn industry has succeeded to enter many more homes via the Internet than was ever possible. Pornography is highly addictive content and many people, once exposed, find themselves seeking more porn images and videos and spending more and more time seeking porn online. A porn habit can effect a person’s ability to be intimate, it can be hurtful to the person’s partner, and it can interfere with daily life. Divorce lawyers mention pornography as being the cause of a growing number of divorces.

If you or someone you love appear to be developing an Internet related addiction, consider a web filter as the first line of defense. In the case that the addiction has become out of control, you may require professional therapy or self help type course to recover.

Recovery systems have been defined by therapists and mental health professional to provide people with a framework from which to motivate addicts into treatment. Being nice and using positive reinforcement is more effective and healthier for all involved. Consider, for example, making a list of the REWARDS that will motivate the addict -that are not detrimental in any way to his health — and find ways to introduce those things at the right moments. Unlike insulting and shaming him, the likelihood of getting his agreement to seek help is far greater, when using positive reinforcement.

Research shows that family members can learn techniques to get their  loved ones into addiction treatment and help the treatment succeed. Consider that it is easier to get someone to listen to kind and encouraging words than to harsh words and criticism. Threatening can be counter productive and only make the addict more resistant to you and your eagerness to help.

Once in a recovery program, family and friends who are aware of the situation should be briefed on how to provide positive reinforcement and act as motivators. This can make a world of a difference in achieving success and a cure.

So when someone does recognize the problem, it can be severely embarrassing and a natural reaction is to deny the pornography habit rather than to admit to something that the addict knows he will be harshly judged for.
People with untreated addictions commonly argue that nothing is wrong with them. Most men with a porn habit will explain that they are not do anything any healthy man does not do. Many will be able to convince their partners or family that they are exaggerating their concerns. The pain of being found out is just too much for them to handle. They may believe that they can control their porn use and often will try to use willpower to stay away from porn from some period. But relapse is usually inevitable. Willpower is not a cure. And unfortunately, failing to keep their self promise can lead to shame, guilt and increased stress – which may only exacerbate the porn addition.
It may be tempting for loved ones, who suspect their is a problem and are themselves offended and hurt by the porn habit, to take a hands-off approach to the problem and pretend they don’t notice or do not care. But hoping that the porn problem will just go away on its own or because he loves you so much is just not likely to happen. It is not about how much the addict loves his family and friends. Even if you believe that the porn addict is not willing to try to change, treatment can still help and the sooner, the better.

Porn addiction is a progressive disorder -it gets worse over time. The sooner a person receives treatment for addiction, the greater the chances for recovery.In fact, if we could manage to address the problem at the very start, simply by installing a porn filter and blocking access to pornography online, chances are we would not have the porn addiction epidemic we have today.Many people receive treatment for porn addiction  because they were forced into it by family or friends.

If you want to get your loved one into treatment for a pornography problem, try to get the advice of an addiction treatment specialist. The way you go about approaching the addict can make a very significant difference in his willingness to enter treatment and his attitude toward the treatment.

If you are experiencing symptoms of depression, medications may be an important part of your Internet addiction treatment. In addition, if you are experiencing physical pain due to extended time in front of the computer screen – from eye pain to back and shoulder pain to even more extreme types of physical discomfort due to long hours of sitting and using the computer, your treatment may require medication in addition to other types of therapy or counseling. It is best to consult with a doctor that is familiar with the problems you are experiencing. Your insurance company may be able to assist you in finding such a physician.

Therapy

Therapists use a variety of talk therapies to help addicted individuals cope with and recover from their addiction. Internet addiction is a relatively new phenomena that most therapists may not be familiar with. However, a therapist will experience and success in working with addicts, will be able to apply the same therapies and treatments to a patient with Internet Addiction. With any addiction, the therapist needs to help the patient to recognize and manage the situations that trigger relapse, and develop a lifestyle that will be rewarding without the addiction. Talk therapy is much more than the patient simply talking to his therapist and finding a sympathetic ear. Talk therapy makes use of a range of proven techniques to assist the patient in recognizing their problems and finding effective techniques for coping with those problems and stresses. A good therapist, for example, will help you to identify why you are turning to Internet porn in a compulsive way and will work with you to bring that habit under control. This is not about building willpower, which is not effective, but learning the skills that can manage stress in healthy ways.

Counseling

Many people with Internet related Addiction problems – pornography and gambling for example, seeking counseling and not therapy. Counseling could be in the form of talking to a religious figure, a friend, a social worker or school counselor. For some, this may be enough. Counselors may be able to offers advice and direction in solving daily problems and to provide a kind of accountability element that would assist an addict to refrain from his addictive behavior. Counselors should have received formal training in counseling, such as group counseling and specific techniques.

Treatment Center

For individuals that have suffered from addiction for a long period and for whom life has become completely overrun by their addiction, a treatment facility may be the best option. Similarly to what has been discussed about doctors and therapists, it is highly preferable to enter a facility that has specific experience in treating Internet addiction or other addiction disorders. The patient should feel comfortable with the choice and confident that he is entering a facility that can provide real help.
It is important to begin treatment with reasonable expectations. A period of time inside a treatment facility does not mean the patient is released when he is completely cured. Ideally, he will have overcome the most difficult part of his recovery and have learned the skills needed to continue his recovery.

The thing is, no one can say for sure what the impact will be. Will they have decreased social skills? Will they be less empathetic? Will their analytical skills be effected? Of course we know that it is not all bad, but the frightening thing is that we just don’t know.

So what do we know? Well one important fact is that a young brain develops in accordance to what it is exposed to. It goes through a “pruning” stage. The more it is exposed to a particular activity, the more the brain develops in that direction. 60% of the synaptic connections between the brain cells get pruned away by the time a person finishes adolescence so, for example, a child who is not exposed to playing with his peers, would not naturally develop basic socializing skills and would be at high risk for a range of psychological disorders.

The manner in which a young person spends his time has a profound effect on how his brain will be shaped. The nagging question is then, what will be the effect on a generation that grows up with far less human contact than previous generations? This could have devastating consequences. What we surely must come to grips with today, is how to prevent Internet overuse and to keep online activity within a healthy proportion of our daily activity.

It begins with a group meeting and everyone turns in their cell phones. The counselors explain to the children that they are their to decrease the amount of time online. They point to problems caused by Internet overuse such as a lack of structure in their day, but they also ask the children about the physical problems they have had. In one session, one child reports having visited the hospital due to eye problems and many complain of back aches and arm pain from sitting so many hours in front of the screen.

Korea has become one of the first countries to treat Internet addiction as a psychiatric disorder. The government has hired mental health professionals to research the problem and develop plans for treating Internet addiction. One of the important findings the Korean researchers have discovered is that children who have problems in school are often turning to online gaming to relieve tension and to escape the problems they are facing in the real world. As they use the games more and more, the behavior begins to resemble the addictive behavior of a drug addict or alcoholic. Furthermore, as they increase their time online, they decrease their physical activity and physical contact with other people. This can have serious detrimental effects on physical and mental health, especially for children and teens.

At the Internet rescue camps, the children are re-introduced to physical activity and human interaction. From simple outdoor games to scavenger hunts and camping, the Internet addicted children are reminded of how to play and interact without the use of a computer.