Broken relationships are the root of most heartache. We can’t get along, when we feel offended, when we are hurt, we can’t communicate, can’t love, and can’t move forward.

And we also lose our effectiveness as Christians.

In Matthew 18:19, Jesus says,

Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. (NIV, 1984)

God wants us to pray, and when we pray together, there is tremendous power. But there’s a caveat. We must AGREE. Before we pray that effective prayer of community, we must be able to agree. Maybe one of the reasons, then, that Satan often stirs up trouble isn’t just so that we would be bitter; it’s also so that we would stop praying. When I think of the areas of my life in which I’m having difficulty right now, it tends to be because there is some ill will and just disagreement among people, even people of faith. We can’t pray together if we can’t first agree.

That’s the same in marriage. I receive so many emails asking for marriage advice, and mostly it boils down to the fact that the two spouses have very different views on marriage and on who is right and who is wrong. They have grown apart. They resent each other. There’s sin involved.

And how can you move forward, how can God work, if you can’t pray? Now agreeing in prayer doesn’t mean that we agree about everything in our lives. Unity is not unanimity. We may disagree on individual issues, but we can still be united with one another if we can defeat the bitterness and the anger and realize that we share the same God and the same purpose.

That doesn’t mean we can’t pray on our own. I’m just saying that the fundamental problem I see in so many areas is that we have not yet received or participated in the true ministry of reconciliation. We don’t know how to handle conflict. We paper over problems rather than deal with them, but then we become bitter because things don’t change. We take offense too easily.

How much emotional energy is spent in families because bitterness has never been dealt with? How many children suffer through their parents’ fights or disagreements and never understand what a beautiful marriage should look like?

Often when we think of reconciliation, though, we picture what the other person must do to make things better. If that’s your attitude, you likely will continue to live a life without reconciliation.

Now some relationships can’t be fully reconciled because those relationships are dangerous and toxic. I am not talking about reconciling with an abusive spouse, or an alcoholic brother, or a pathological parent. But some relationships desperately need reconciliation, and that starts with us taking that first step.

Nowhere is this more apparent than in marriage. When spouses start drifting apart, and little differences take on greater and greater significance, sometimes the wall becomes so high that we don’t know how we’re going to get over it. But Jesus doesn’t ask us to wait for the other to make the first move. He demonstrated His own love toward us in this: while we were still sinners, He died for us. He reconciled to us before we were ready to reconcile to Him. And by reaching out He touched our hearts.

How can you touch your husband’s heart?

1. Recognize that your husband doesn’t feel loved

If you don’t feel loved right now, it’s likely reciprocated. He probably doesn’t feel loved either. How can you bridge that gap? What is most important to him? What is his love language? Rather than focusing on how he has failed you, think about how you can meet his needs. For many men, sex plays a big role here, and my 29 Days to Great Sex challenge can be one way to start filling that gap and bringing you closer together. I don’t mean to diminish the pain that you’re in; but I do believe that God can help reconcile when we take that first move, walking in His steps.

2. Realize it’s obedience to Jesus first

You may have all kinds of legitimate reasons to feel hurt in your relationship with your husband (or your mother, or your sister, or your child). But ultimately the reason that we reconcile is not because the other person deserves it, but because Jesus asks us to, and He has already paid the penalty for the sin.

It is Jesus we are following and obeying. We’re doing it out of His goodness, not because of the other person’s goodness.

3. Use your imagination

Ephesians 3:20 tells us that God can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. So use your imagination to think of what true reconciliation can look like. You may not be able to see the route to reconciliation in clarity yet, but God can accomplish that. He is powerful. But His power is available to us only when we decide to use it and step forward in faith.

Can you do that? Imagine what life would be like if you could truly agree, and realize that you’re on the same team. You could pray together again, and the prayer would have power. You could feel loved and accepted, even if you didn’t always see eye to eye. You could praise God together. Can you walk forward in reconciliation, even when the other doesn’t deserve it? Just imagine.

Sheila blogs everyday at To Love, Honor and Vacuum. Her new book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, focuses on how we can achieve real unity in marriage, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

But what if our food struggles have a deeper root? What if our diet teeter-totter has become a spiritual stronghold?

My battle with food started at age twelve when a diet turned addictive. Fighting hunger made me feel powerful, in control. Until my food issues started to control me. Before long, I developed anorexia which soon turned to bulimia. By sixteen, I was binging and purging three, four, sometimes five times a day.

Food ballooned into a fierce addiction. An isolating, shameful addiction.

One year, I felt God calling me to a women’s retreat. The retreat was held at a monastery … with public meal times, a known stresser. I knew God was drawing me, and sensed this would be a beautiful experience. I also knew my food addiction was hindering my spiritual growth. Food had become an idol.

Wednesday before my retreat, my husband took our daughter to visit his mom, leaving me home … alone … with our fridge. Wanting to soak up every moment with God free of shame and regret, I prayed for help.  I didn’t want to spend this precious time binging and purging. I wanted to spend it communing with God.

That first night was the hardest. As I nestled in the corner of the couch, I became increasingly aware of the food in the kitchen. The more I fought against it, the stronger my cravings grew.

It was then I had my breakthrough. After over a decade of bulimia, God showed me how to fight this thing, and He did so by pointing me to a passage of Scripture.

It was the passage of Jesus in the desert, and as I read the account, God showed me the spiritual battle I was in. Satan was using food to keep me in bondage and shame. But like Jesus, I could be victorious, if I would but follow Christ’s example.

Notice how Jesus fought Satan’s temptations:

Matthew 4:1-11 (NIV)

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”

Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:

“‘He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands, 
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’”

Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9 “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”

Then the devil left Him, and angels came and attended him.

Each time Satan tempted Jesus, Jesus spoke God’s holy Word out loud. The Bible tells us we are in a spiritual battle and that Satan prowls like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. He wants to devour our self-esteem, our resolve, and our health. But as Christians, we have the power of the Creator living inside us and have been given everything we need to gain victory.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5 (NIV)

“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

In Ephesians 6, our spiritual weapons are laid out. Notice, all but one are defensive. Only one is offensive, and that is the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. God’s Word is living and powerful, stronger than Satan and his tactics.

The next time temptation comes, try:

1. Taking your thoughts captive, replacing thoughts of food with truth in Scripture
2. Pray for strength and that God would break the stronghold food has over you
3. Take an offensive stance by speaking God’s holy Word out loud.

ARE you emotionally calloused?

Does nothing phase you?

Does your heart still break for the hurting?

Do you cry when you think of your unsaved family?

I think when we are so involved with the world and out of focus with God, we forget the things that we’re striving to achieve in Christ.

In the past I was not very emotional at all. Sure I was sad that things happened in life, but just not overly emotional about anything. I always thought this was a hormone related thing when hubby pointed out to the other day that I had softened. The hard exterior I had placed around me from my childhood, and the hurt that had happened over my life… those walls to protect myself from daily living were starting to come down. I was so used of keeping them in place, I didn’t realize that my precious gifts – my children – God had given me helped lower my walls and open my heart to Him. That my heart was being wooed by Christ through motherhood.

I cry now. I cry a lot actually. I cry when I think of my family that does not yet rely on Christ. I cry when I think of the orphans in the Ukraine that are sold into the sex trades. I cry when I think of the pain that my childrens’  classmates endure because their parents are too busy doing other things. I cry when I think of what Christ has done for me on the cross. I cry as I write this, praying for those who will eventually read this and connect with what I’m trying to say.

I cry.

And it is good.

Through my tears I realize that God is using my tender heart to now pray for others. The heart that I thought was too bitter at one point to do much more than survive. I am humbled by this realization and no longer feel ashamed that tears flow freely from my eyes when I think of the hurt and lost in my life and world.

I cry because God has blessed me.

Do you cry?

Do you let your children see you cry? Does your heart yearn for more for those around you?

Lord,

May my emotions be intentional to you.

May my heart feel the hurt of you children so I can cry out for them when they don’t even know they need you.

I pray that you keep my heart full of tenderness and compassion for your unsaved children.

Amen.

By all accounts Haiti was devastated. Period.

Did you know earthquakes foreshadowed major plot shifts in the Bible?

• Before Moses received the Ten Commandments, “the mountain trembled violently.”
• When Jesus was crucified and took his last breath, “the earth shook.”
• When the angel rolled the stone away from the tomb, “there was a violent earthquake.”
• When Paul and Silas sang hymns in prison, “there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken.”

I imagine the witnesses focused on the chaos, shock and ruin of the earthquakes. But knowing what came next, I hear God saying, “Don’t focus on the shaking earth and get stuck there! Look at me. Watch what I’m going to do!”

• I’m giving you The Law.
• I’m overcoming death.
• I’m giving you eternal life.
• I’m building my church.

The earthquakes weren’t the end of the story; they were the beginning.

It’s been said, “Don’t put a period where God intends a comma.”

In the two years since the earthquake in Haiti, futility, hopelessness and despair abound. Each news report draws circles around the period at the end of the story called Haiti.

But God.

 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.  (Psalm 46:1-3)

The earthquake drew me to Haiti to work with the Foundation for Peace. Relief has turned into rebuilding and ongoing care. During each visit to Haiti I see momentum building and the story growing. I hear God saying, “Don’t focus on the shaken earth and get stuck there! Look at me. Watch what I’m doing!”

Newly rebuilt fishing boats

Recently I received an update on the work FFP had been doing since my team’s departure in March. They:

• Distributed shoes to children and Bibles to adults in a poor village, and they helped rebuild the village’s three fishing boats.
• Finished building a house for a woman and her children who’d been living under sheets.
• Held a worship service where a voodoo priest and his family gave their lives to Jesus. (It took an hour to burn all of his voodoo trinkets.)
• Continued to build the vocational school started last year—the only school of its kind in the region.

God is telling a story of glory in Haiti.

In our own lives earthquakes will happen. Natural disasters. Death. Divorce. Cancer. Financial woes. Heartbreak. Our foundations will be shaken to their core. But God says,

“Be still…”

Relax.

Pause.

Add a comma.

“…and know…”

Experience for yourself.

Take my truth into your soul.

Turn toward me.

 “…that I am God.”

Your refuge and strength.

Your ever-present help in trouble.

Your fortress and deliverer.

Has your foundation been shaken? Is God calling you to “Be still, and know…?”

Where is He writing a story of glory in your life?

These were women who left everything they knew to be comfortable, worked harder than anyone I’ve ever known, and counted it a joy to serve the Lord in all they did. Gladys worked days and nights through war torn areas, rescuing children and even boldly stopping a prison riot because she was willing to follow God wherever He led. Amy took one child at a time away from temples in India until she had created a family of over a hundred whose highest goal was to love the Lord and each other. What is it that made them so different from the ordinary Christian? These ladies died to selfishness.

First of all, neither woman seemed to put much stock in what everyone else thought they should be doing. Gladys was told she wasn’t fit for missions for multiple reasons – namely lack of education. But, she didn’t let that stop her. Amy was often criticized for the way that she cloistered her “family” inside a wall and protected them from the world. She ignored their words because she was confident that she was doing what God had told her to do.
How often have I let my weaknesses hold me back?

“I’m not good enough at that ministry or job. I shouldn’t even pursue it.”

Really, what I’m thinking is that it might just be too hard. Where did God say we weren’t supposed to do things that were difficult? As a matter of fact, if He only called us to do things that were easy, why did He say “My strength is perfect in your weakness”? (see 2 Corinthians 12:9)
Am I putting more stock in what other people think I should be doing than in what God is calling me to?

Are my decisions based upon what others might wonder about me?

Am I easily swayed into changing my mind or behavior because I’m concerned about someone’s opinion of me?

The only opinion I should be seeking is God’s. I want to please Him in all I do and though I may still seek human advice, it’s God’s calling that I will follow. Are my ears open to hear His voice above all the racket of the world?
I think this attitude of serving God and toiling night and day for His pleasure sets apart some of these women of the past. Could it set me apart too? Could I be heartily committed to God’s causes, not fearing the difficult labor or the criticism of others?
Is God calling you to step out and follow Him above the noise of everyone else’s opinions and die to selfishness giving Him all of your days?

The same can be seen in God’s Word. The Old and New are so beautifully intertwined…Jesus knew it; Jesus lived it and we are blessed to hear and embrace it. The Old and the New married into One Word. So captivating and relevant.

It reminds us that just as a family passes down a beautiful tradition from generation to generation because the family understands the value of such a tradition, God too passes down His beautiful Word from the Old to the New weaving together a beautiful, priceless masterpiece.

Reading the Word in the Old and seeing it again in the New reminds us just how valuable this Word is.
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{Welcome to WFW!}

There are very few rules, in fact the beauty of this ministry is the creative expression that God reveals Himself through. We marvel at the creativity that participants post! It’s a blessing! We encourage the ” post behind the picture,” or the reflections that many of the participants share. We ask that for WFW that participants refrain from using non-biblical. If you’ve got the time we also encourage you to visit a few of the WFW contributors! It’s always a blessing to see the Scripture and story that creatively appear across the screen.

WFW is not about books, authors, artists… it’s about God and HIS WORD ONLY. WFW is about celebrating the gift of creativity through God’s Word and sharing the creative Word!

Please join us as we share the creative gifts God has blessed us with by signing into to the Link below to participate in WFW.

Have you thought about the fact that you were created with the power to be creative? God pours into each and every one of us the ability to create. Music, art, dance, literature, business or whatever that ache inside you is that wakes you in the middle of the night. You were created to create works that will resonate in the hearts and souls of those born generations from now. These dreams change us, shape us and compel us to live fuller, deeper lives.

We thrive when we allow ourselves to unleash the creative power that God put in us and participate in the unfolding of beauty in this world by sharing our gifts and talents.

Galatians 6:4-5
Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.       

The Message Bible

In reading this I see two things that stunt our creativity:

1. Don’t be impressed with yourself.
2. Don’t compare yourself with others.

We lose the beauty of our works when our pride gets in the way. Either we think too much of ourselves or too little. Both are rooted in pride. When what others think of us is greater than the burden to do what God has called us to do, pride is driving us. The voices in our own head can be our undoing. That self-destructive chatter can chip away at the passion that moves us to create, and we are the only ones who can fight this battle.

Have you ever gotten sick from reading while riding in the car? It’s because your brain is focused on the book and sitting still but your body feels the movement of the car. The confused signals between your body and brain cause you to have that sick feeling.

That same thing happens to our hearts when we have a passion on the inside of us that is under constant attack from our thought life. When we worry excessively about the how, when, where and ‘what for’ of what God has called us to do, we paralyze our dreams and the creative power that God placed in us. Our heart and our thoughts oppose each other. It leaves us feeling sick and often we abandon the work instead of sinking into it as the verse encourages us to do.

Woman, you were created by the Creator to create. Are you letting that creativity dance?  No one can bring the beauty to this world that you were meant to bring. Whether it’s a mosaic of stained glass or words of encouragement to a dry and thirsty soul, bring it. Bring it girlfriend. It could change the course of a million lives…or just as powerful, one life. Don’t be afraid to dance.

As we discussed in Part 1, when it comes to planning, we must consider our motives and the secret thoughts of our hearts. 

Are we seeking to live a life that glorifies God and honors His Word? 

If so, then our plans have a better chance of fitting within God’s will. 

And yet, at times, it feels quite challenging to discern between our will and God’s will. This is when we must take time to study the Word and get to know the character of God. We have to ask the questions, “Is this plan consistent with who God is?”  It is also wise to seek godly counsel before moving forward in making decisions that will not only affect us significantly but also impact those around us.

Making plans that impact others always needs accountability.  If we’re not willing to listen to the opinions of those we respect and love, it is quite likely that our plans are being driven by selfish, and possibly, impure motives.  We’ve got to be able to hear the body of Christ speak into our lives and, with a willingness, receive instruction, correction, and even sometimes rebuke.

Proverbs 15:22
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

As a Christian, all of our plans need to be qualified with, “If this is the Lord’s will.”  Think of this in terms of a ten-year-old girl approaching her mother with the desire for a sleepover with her classmate.  Likely, she’s already planned what she’d like to happen, and maybe even has a few details of what would make the sleepover extra special.  She approaches her mom with all her ideas and then she has to wait for the response.  In some cases, mom might say yes immediately.  In other cases, the answer will be “No, not tonight.  Let’s schedule this for next Friday.”  In the worse case scenario, the daughter might hear, “Honey, the answer is no.  You know you’re not permitted to have a sleepovers until you’re 12.”  A no is a no.  Or sometimes, a no is really an opportunity to provide another yes.  While the daughter might be disappointed with her mom’s answer, she may not realize it’s because the family is taking a surprise trip to Disney on the first day of spring break, beginning on the night of her desired sleepover.  Is the “no” really that bad after all?

Life planning ought to be done in a posture similar to a daughter asking her mom for a sleepover.  We can go ahead and dream up our fantastic ideas, but only with the mindset of bringing it to God for His final say.  Life planning — goal planning — is an opportunity to have an open dialogue with the Lord.  It’s not something to fear or consider useless.  It’s a time to unwrap your heart and lay it in the Father’s hand.  But doing so requires a great measure of trust.  The question really is, “Do you trust that God wants His best for your life?”  Essentially, life planning, as a Christian, requires a Biblical mindset in which we echo the words of Christ, “Not my will be done but Yours, Oh Father.”

Matthew 26:39
Yet not as I will, but as you will.

As you step out in faith, taking your uncovered dreams into a hopeful reality, it’s wise to do so with some basic goal planning principles. Details really do matter in planning for your future, even if those details may be trumped by God’s other plans for your life.  So, take this next step forward by downloading the Planning Worksheet offered below, asking God to fulfill the desires of your heart, only if they are also the desires of His.

This time of planning will most certainly encourage living intentionally, inspiring you to move forward in becoming the woman God intended — a woman with God-given passions and purposes designed to be used for His glory and Kingdom work.

Reflection Response

1. Who can you turn to for Godly counsel when it comes to your plans?
2. What scares you about making plans?  Is it a fear of the “no”?  Is it a lack of trust?
3. What would it take for you to renew your thinking when it comes to life and goal planning, so that you can view it as a conversation with God instead of demand of God?
4. Download the Life Planning Worksheet at Passion and Purpose Life Coaching to glean practical steps and direction.

Make the most of a collection of free resources available at Passion and Purpose Life Coaching and learn more about our year long focus on Living Intentionally here.

Are you living intentionally?
Grab the button and post it at your blog!

“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10 NASB

I had over an hour alone with nothing to do, nowhere to go, and a beautiful setting to enjoy.

This NEVER happens for me, but my dear prayer sisters and I were purposeful in setting aside this prayer retreat at the Frederick Meijer Gardens and Sculpture Park in mid-April.

Beautiful, isn't it?

It was probably one of the most relaxing and renewing times I’d experienced in I don’t know how long. As I walked along the paths, looking, seeing, and listening to nature (and sculptures) around me, I found my pace slowing dramatically. (And those of you know me know I am generally a very fast walker)

At first, I thought my slow gait was due to the flora and fauna around me. The fresh air. Being in nature. The garden’s rhythms, I figured, were taming my own.

But to my surprise, I found this was not the case. For about halfway through my stroll, I noticed my feet begin to move faster.

Why? Because I saw something a few hundred feet ahead of me that I wanted to see more closely. So, despite the fact I was truly in no hurry, I sped up my pace.

It was then that I realized my pace had diminished before because I wasn’t doing anything. Because I didn’t have a goal or destination. Because I was simply BEING.

As a mother, wife, blogger, Christian, writer, editor, encourager, AWANA leader, etc., I always have something to do. My life is full of things that need to be started, continued, and finished. No wonder my natural pace is zoom.

But (as I’ve heard from SOMEWHERE – can’t remember where) I’m not meant to be a human doing. I am a human being. I need to take time to be still – to cease striving (love that translation of Psalm 46:10) – and be with the Father, with my thoughts, with His creation.

This doesn’t mean I can stop writing, driving my kids to and from school, cleaning the house (or maybe it does ), listening to verses or any of the other things that are part of being Joanne Sher. But it does mean I should make a point of stilling my heart (if not my legs and brain) and enjoying the presence of my Lord, and being with Him in the midst of my doing.

So, the next time I feel like a headless chicken, running everywhere and checking the dozens of things off my to-do list, I’m going to stop for a moment, cease striving, and be a human being again. And I hope you’ll do the same.

Heavenly Father, thank you for giving me those times when I can sit back and enjoy You, Your creation, and the intimacy of just the two of us. Help me, Lord, to treasure those times when I can just be. But also, Father, allow me to enjoy those same types of moments within the business of my life – to be a human being even while I am doing. Help me, Lord, to cease striving, and know You are God. In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.

How can we pour truth into our kid’s hearts in a gentle flow and not a fire hose? Life is so busy and time seems so short. We want to make the most of the precious moments we have, yet how do we not preach every time we open our mouth?

God’s Word gives the answer: weave His Word into everyday life. Sitting, walking, laying down and getting up. Any moment can become a teaching moment.

Here are some ideas that work for me:

Share what God’s doing in your own life
One of my favorite things to do is sit with my girls and listen about their day. Even better is when we catch up over a special treat like coffee. Last Friday we made it a milkshake from our favorite restaurant.

When I give them my undivided attention to hear about their day, it opens a door for me to talk about mine. I try to specifically tell them what God is doing in my life or teaching me. In this way, I’m not really teaching but sharing, which seems to go over well!

Read God’s Word together
Each morning as my girls eat breakfast, I read to them from a daily devotional book. This works great since I have a captive audience!

Lead a small group with their friends
Every other Monday, Madi and five of her freshman girlfriends come over for a Bible study together. This is a great way to teach my daughter and those in her life about Jesus’ crazy love for them, as well as being in touch with the ins and outs of teen life.

God’s wisdom is so perfect for us when it comes to investing His truth into their lives. “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 6:7) When sharing God’s Word with our family, any moment can become a teaching moment.

You don’t have to know everything in order to share one thing.

Dear Lord, Open my eyes to see opportunities that are right before me each day to share Your truth. I want this overflow to become a natural part of my life. … In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

What keeps you from sharing God’s truth with your family more often? Fear of rejection? Fear you won’t say the right thing?

Visit Lynn’s blog for free resources for sharing Jesus with your kids. Just click on “freebies”.  She’s giving away a signed copy of her book His Revolutionary Love as well as a gift card to take your special someone out for coffee!

Click here for your free leadership guide to His Revolutionary Love, Lynn’s book for young women empowering them with Jesus’ confidence and self-worth.